Funny characteristics of zodiac signs. Funny horoscope Funny humorous horoscope

Of course, everyone is familiar with horoscopes, at least once in their life they read them. Whether they are true or not, it will not be possible to say for sure. But for those who are interested, this article is written. It will feature a funny characterization of the zodiac signs as well as some funny horoscopes. After reading our article, for example, you can find out how Scorpio drinks and what kind of food Aquarius likes.

Characteristics of Aries and Taurus. Description of these signs

Let's start, perhaps, with the compilation of funny characteristics of the signs of the zodiac. Let's start with Aries. You will not be able to find a more capricious diehard than Aries. At the same time, he hates routine. The representative of the sign does not like to do what he does not like. It is almost impossible to persuade him to do such a thing. Although there is one trick - tell him that someone performed such a task better. Then Aries will do the job by all means, and even better than anyone else.

Compiling a funny horoscope, one cannot fail to say about the fiery nature of Aries. This person can spend a lot of time conquering the object of passion. Aries acts quickly, almost instantly and assertively. Therefore, it is very difficult to get rid of it.

If you are looking for a worthy competitor in terms of the degree of stubbornness of Aries, then this is Taurus. Moreover, this sign has another "bonus" - fierce conservatism. For him, old things are very valuable. Taurus are often boring. In general, representatives of the sign are closed personalities. It's easier to talk to a wall than to them. At least you can knock on it, and in response you will hear a rumble. And from Taurus, you can expect ringing silence and silence. Taurus believe that the more time they spend trying to achieve their beloved, the more valuable she is. The same rule applies to making money.

Characteristics of Gemini and Cancer. Distinctive features of each of the signs

Compiling a cheerful horoscope for Gemini, let's say that the representatives of the sign are always for new adventures. These personalities are eccentric individuals who have a company of winds in their heads. Gemini love and talk a lot, they can tell something for hours. This is the funniest characteristic of the zodiac sign. Also in Gemini, laziness is legendary. They don't like to go into details. They need money, because they spend it quickly and naturally, as they say.

Cancers are rather soft, romantic and intelligent natures. Although outwardly you can not say that from them.

What is the funny characteristic of the zodiac sign? That they, just like their namesakes from the animal kingdom, take neat steps forward and run back. From this we can safely conclude that Cancers are indecisive and cautious. They are afraid to do something, even cheat on a partner.

You should not joke sparklingly with Cancer, as this nature is too sentimental, it can be offended by light humor.

Characteristics of Leo and Virgo. What is remarkable about these zodiac signs? Joking descriptions of each

The lion is the unique king of animals. When compiling a funny horoscope for Leo, one cannot help but recall his greatness. He is an important person and demonstrates this in every possible way. People around should be glad even that Leo is next to them. His aura will paint the muddy swamp with bright colors.

Now let's make a cheerful horoscope of Virgo. It is known that appearances can be deceiving. This phrase is entirely suitable for Dev. After all, when you hear this word, the imagination draws a cute creature. But astrologers do not agree with such a description, which make up the ridiculous characteristics of the signs of the zodiac. In reality, Virgos are completely different. Not so cute. Sometimes they can even be maniacs. According to statistics, many maniacs were born under this sign.

Virgos skillfully adapt to the situation. They are usually polite and correct people. Virgo can use a person for their own purposes in order to achieve what they want. He will not show sympathy for the object of love until he is firmly convinced of reciprocity. And if there is a refusal, then he will wait, and suddenly something will change.

Characteristics of Libra and Scorpio. Comic description of the signs of the zodiac

Libra constantly arrives in search of peace of mind. They don't pay much attention to the material world. They believe that someone else should deal with everyday problems. Libra's affairs are more sublime than laundry and cleaning. Representatives of the sign are always thrown in different directions. Impermanence extends to the love sphere of life. For them, this state of affairs is habitual. After treason, conscience usually does not torment.

Scorpions are still those bastards. They are able to break hearts due to their natural charm. Scorpios are also purposeful. If a goal is chosen, no matter how difficult it is to achieve, they will still achieve it, even if something needs to be destroyed.

Characteristics of Sagittarius and Capricorn. Funny description of signs

Now let's make a comic horoscope for Sagittarius. Note that representatives of the sign always achieve their goals. Sometimes this does not happen immediately, but in any case, everything will be. Note that perseverance and work help other signs to achieve the goal, and Sagittarius - a fair wind.

If you are wondering which is the funniest zodiac sign, then know that, of course, this one. Sagittarians are still those ringleaders. In addition, they are real benefactors. They help everyone in need. This quality is often used by employers. If Sagittarius does not object, then he will be loaded with a bunch of work.

No need to openly offend Sagittarius. It cannot be said that they are vindictive, just a little evil, and their memory is quite good. They don't forget anything, not even what happened in kindergarten. They can easily tell the whole truth in person.

Compiling a cheerful horoscope for Capricorn, let's say that this is a pendulum man. He always balances between extremes. Children of this sign have a characteristic adult seriousness and thoroughness. These qualities do not leave Capricorn even in adulthood and even in old age.

Capricorn always throws himself into work with his head. He will spend all his strength to try to accomplish an impossible task in advance. Although Capricorn also walks well. He goes on a spree with his head, sometimes to the point of complete degradation. To save him, you need to captivate him with something more interesting.

Note that Capricorns are incorrigible pessimists. If they are convinced that everything around them is against them, then it will be extremely difficult, and in most cases impossible, to convince them otherwise.

Characteristics of Aquarius and Pisces. Funny description of zodiac signs

Now let's make a funny horoscope for Aquarius. The representative of the sign loves to talk. Words flow like water from a faucet. Not everyone can withstand such a flow. But who can do it is Pisces or Gemini. Although it is still possible to argue with the latter who will talk to whom in the end.

Aquarians are very well cared for, they can even compose poems and songs. Women of this sign follow the dictates of the heart. If it tells you that it is he who will be her betrothed, then an early meeting cannot be avoided.

Aquarians value personal space very much. They are ready to build high walls so that they are given time to be alone.

What are the characteristics of the Pisces zodiac sign? Representatives can create a fictional reality out of nothing. And not only for yourself, but also for those around you. They will easily convince anyone of anything they want. Ask the Fish to do some task for you, and she will break into a cake, but she will do it. Here is such an altruist, and nothing can be done here. Compiling a description of the Pisces zodiac sign, let's say that in love, representatives are cautious, shy. Never make the first move. They will dream about their beloved, cry, but be silent. Pisces needs to be pushed to some action in relationships, and not only in them.

Drunk horoscope, or How to drink with signs

Now alcoholic drinks are present on the table during many celebrations, and not only during the holidays. But how to drink with different signs? What should be feared? Let's start talking, of course, with Aries. It is advisable not to drink with representatives of this sign. Or plant Aquarius next to them, who, if anything, will take a friend with him. If this does not happen, then you can find yourself in a completely different country or do some strange act. At the same time, Aries himself will look at you accusingly. Aries are not particularly intoxicated by alcohol, so they think that everyone is like that.

Taurus, regardless of the degree of intoxication, consider themselves sober. And even if they crawl on four. Taurus prefer to enjoy life to the fullest, including drinking. But if such a representative drinks too much, then he turns into a not quite adequate person. It will destroy everything that is around.

Gemini is believed to be a dual sign. His duplicity is manifested in the fact that if he drinks, you can’t think of who will appear before you: a cheerful joker or a type that hates everyone. And in the morning he will no longer remember what happened.

Cancer is a rather secretive person. But if you get such a person drunk, you can learn a lot about him and yourself. On the morning after the celebration, Cancer will again be hidden.

If we talk about Leo, then a sober representative of the sign is no different from a drunk one. The only thing is that the decibel increases. A drunk Leo tells a lot more about his person than a sober one.

It is impossible to say exactly why Virgos drink. But they go through three stages of intoxication:

1. "I'm so drunk."
2. "I love everyone".
3. “Need aspirin” (this is already in the morning).

Libras are afraid to drink, but they love it. In a state of intoxication, they rest. In this state, they stop weighing everything.

Sagittarius is both a teetotaler, and an alcoholic, and a lucky man, and a loser. It is not clear how to drink with it. In addition, Sagittarius believes that he has a light hand, but in reality it is still so heavy. At the same time, it is almost impossible to overdrink it.

Scorpio first gets drunk himself to the limit, and then drinks everyone around him.

When Capricorn drinks, he opens up. In the literal sense, it becomes the soul of the company, the ringleader. He enjoys compliments and jokes, but in the morning he remembers everything.

Drunk Aquarius can move mountains. True, no one sees his deeds, just like the drunken Aquarius himself. He tries, after drinking a little, to retire.

When a Pisces gets drunk, she experiences a whole range of emotions, from the fact that no one loves her, ending with the fact that she is the most beautiful.

Favorite food of Aries and Taurus. What will representatives of the signs choose: exotic or familiar dishes?

What is the favorite food of the zodiac signs? Of course, each of the twelve has its own preferences. Some people like sweets, while others like spicy dishes.

Aries are food lovers. They especially like simple dishes. They are also not averse to trying national cuisines. For example, they love Italian dishes such as pasta, lasagna, risotto and others. Such dishes can be supplemented with a glass of red wine. Aries benefit from foods such as lamb, pineapple, mint, cumin, rosemary, watercress, and radish.

Taurus tastes traditional dishes familiar from childhood. Such dishes are held in high esteem: young potatoes with dill, homemade cottage cheese, bread and butter, and so on. Taurus do not like to try something new, they do it only out of curiosity. As a rule, exotic dishes do not remain in the usual diet of representatives of the sign.

Favorite food of Gemini and Cancer. What will they like?

Geminis love seafood and fish dishes. They also like pasta and dumplings. Prone to change in food choices.

Cancers like dishes that are familiar to them from childhood. It can be buns, borscht or stuffed fish (such as my aunt cooked). Cancer is loyal to habits, even in nutrition.

Leo and Virgo. What are their taste preferences? What will they like?

Lions love to eat a lot and tasty. They love meat dishes, such as steaks, chops. From vegetable salads and snacks are not delighted. Fish is also not very respected. Another lion's weakness is sweets.

Virgos choose simple food, familiar for a long time. They like tomato-based dishes. Virgos are indifferent to sweets and sweets.

Favorite food of Libra and Scorpio. Do they like sweets or savory foods?

Scales love confectionery, fresh pastries, ice cream. They love delicious food. They can eat both a delicate salad and a meat dish. Representatives of the sign of food from mushrooms like it.

Scorpios will love seasoned, savory food, as well as traditional dishes such as Olivier salad, borscht and others. High-quality alcohol and expensive chocolate are also held in high esteem by the representatives of the sign.

Sagittarius and Capricorn's Favorite Foods

Capricorns are loyal to the dishes they once loved. Although they are not averse to trying something new.

Sagittarians love ketchup and mustard. They like to try new dishes from different cuisines. Many Sagittarians are indifferent to sweets.

Favorite food of Aquarius and Pisces. What do these signs prefer: delicacies or sweets?

Aquarians are interested in dishes that they have never tried before. The representative of the sign can enjoy rare delicacies for a long time. Aquarians love to sit and chat at a table full of food.

Fish are not particularly picky and picky eaters. They can even eat not very refined dishes. Pisces will never be able to refuse sweets, they like to try new and new desserts. They love ice cream, cake, sweets. And sometimes they consume sweets in unlimited quantities, completely forgetting about common sense.

Predictions for the Year of the Dog. What awaits each sign?

Now we will make a funny horoscope for the year of the Dog for all signs.

A small conclusion

Now you know what they are, zodiac signs. In our article, their comic characteristics and horoscopes are compiled. Here you will find both funny character traits and preferences of representatives of different zodiac signs, knowing which, you can improve your relationship with them. We hope that this information was interesting and useful to you.

Very short but funny and true comic horoscope- 10 principles of each Zodiac sign!

And really, why a lot of words, if everything can be said about everyone, in just a few short sentences. So we bring to your attention another comic horoscope- 10 principles of each Zodiac sign. And although this comic horoscope the site was not compiled by the astrologer of the site, however, we hope that it will bring you no less pleasure than others funny horoscopes from our site. Read

And although this time we did not find the authors of this horoscope, and our astrologer does not fully agree with some even comic conclusions, let's hope that this funny horoscope about 10 principles of each Zodiac Sign, will make you smile and get another charge of positive energy site!

Comic horoscope — 10 principles of each zodiac sign:

Aries - One Aries - good, two Aries - a lot!

1. It's better not to argue with me.
2. First I will do it, then I will think.
3. Where the rest slow down, I step on the gas.
4. I will be forever young.
5. Do as I do, because you can’t do better anyway.
6. The most difficult thing is to listen to the interlocutor to the end.
7. Stubbornness is not a vice.
8. It is easy to control the situation, it is more difficult to control your emotions.
9. One ram is good, two rams is a lot.
10. I don't attack first. But God forbid you hurt me.

Taurus - Better a beautiful sofa than a beautiful sunset!

1. Do not feel sorry for the money to buy, sorry for the party.
2. I don't need someone else's, don't touch mine.
3. A bad peace is better than a good quarrel.
4. Do not disturb the one who is well seated.
5. Better a beautiful sofa than a beautiful sunset.
6. Food is a serious thing.
7. Affectionate calf - sucks two queens.
8. When you ride second, you save energy.
9. I hate disposable lighters.
10. The taster is my true calling.

Gemini - One mind is good, but two is better, especially if both belong to the same person!

1. Today I am not the same as yesterday.
2. Who owns the situation, he owns the information.
3. One mind is good, but two is better, especially if both belong to the same person.
4. Figaro here, Figaro there.
5. The idea, like products, should not be stale.
6. One TV, telephone in the house is good, but three is better.
7. Who did not have time, he was late.
8. I move through life like a scooter on water, I don’t go deep, but quickly.
9. I don’t answer “for the market” at the market.
10. I love quantity because there is not enough time for quality.

Cancer - It's hard to live where there is nowhere to hide!

1. My home, my fortress.
2. Babysitting others is my true calling.
3. It would be nice to stock up on everything in the world, and patience and jam.
4. Everything comes to the one who knows how to wait.
5. Meet your friends at home, not in a cafe.
6. Nothing warms the soul like the sight of a stocked refrigerator.
7. It is better to save up, but buy a worthy thing.
8. It's hard to live where there is nowhere to hide.
9. I carry my past with me like a backpack.
10. Is it really possible to wear out a coat in twenty years?

Leo - Despite my friendly appearance, I am a dictator at heart!

1. I will lead you into the bright distance.
2. It is better to give support than to receive it.
3. Nice manners are half the battle.
4. The sun shines on Leo.
5. A beautiful sign on the office door is more important than a high salary.
6. I like to earn good money and spend even more.
7. A grand piano in the house is better than a piano, even if there is no one to play it.
8. Despite my friendly appearance, I am a dictator at heart.
9. If you do, so for the most part.
10. Why do you need the sun if I'm with you???

Virgo - Modesty adorns not only the girl, but also the Virgin!

1. Patience and work will grind everything.
2. Modesty adorns not only the girl, but also the Virgin.
3. Everyone lives for himself, but serves others.
4. Order is needed everywhere: both in thoughts and in the kitchen.
5. Prove to me strictly logically that we are made for each other.
6. Crooked hanging shelf drives me crazy.
7. On a large scale, I get lost.
8. I have a hard time getting the pits out of a whole bucket of cherries.
9. In every Virgo lives a cool lady.
10. Fly agaric must certainly catch the eye, and white mushroom - and so good.

Libra - The most disgusting thing is to argue!

1. Without a partner, as without hands.
2. The most disgusting thing is to argue.
3. Win by agreeing.
4. Only fools are principled.
5. I attract anyone, anything.
6. Beauty will save the world.
7. Everything must be done according to the mood.
8. The most difficult thing is to make a choice.
9. Not all "and" should be dotted.
10. I don’t even know myself as a couple whether I’m for the whites or for the reds.

Scorpio - My passions rarely come out, like a shark that rarely comes to the surface!

1. Sorry, no one to sting.
2. Every event is like a sofa: it must have hidden springs.
3. There must be a good reason to smile.
4. You can get rid of everything, but not from your own passions.
5. I sing a song of love on the battlefield.
6. Not everyone can stand my gaze.
7. My passions rarely come out, like a shark that rarely comes to the surface.
8. The world is lost without knights.
9. Otella has not yet died out in the land!
10. I am like a cactus, my fabulous flower is revealed to the elect.

Sagittarius - You can't be angry with me!

1. There should be many good people.
2. To whom I owe, I forgive everyone.
3. The best vacation is a trip around the world.
4. The main thing in the problem is its scale.
5. My ideal is Ivan Tsarevia.
6. It is impossible to be angry with me.
7. Remorse of conscience - what is it???
8. Obligation adorns only mediocre people.
9. Worrying in advance is stupid, let's look at the situation.
10. Not an obligatory person, it is simply obliged to be obligatory.

Capricorn - Real Capricorn, like cognac, is distinguished by endurance!

1. I am not a sprinter, and not even a stayer. I am a marathon runner.
2. And one warrior in the field.
3. Do not break the laws, another will do, but you will be caught.
4. For myself, I need very little. My property is just a mirror of my successes.
5. Life is like a train that arrives at every station exactly on schedule.
6. It's nice to talk about distant countries while sitting at home.
7. Real Capricorn, like cognac, is distinguished by aging.
8. It is worth climbing to the top all your life in order to spit down from there once.
9. Only I get younger with age.
10. I’m going, I’m not whistling, but when I hit, I won’t let go.

Aquarius - How boring it is to be like others!

1. How boring it is to be like others.
2. If I came up with you, become what I want.
3. Prejudice is for fools.
4. The future just has to be great.
5. It's hard to be an angel, but it's necessary.
6. Good intention is more important than good deeds.
7. To become an innovator, you must first forget about tradition.
8. Sex? There are more important things in life.
9. First friends, and then family, unless of course there is time left.
10. I am not kinder, I am not more cheerful

Pisces - Sympathy is more important than helping!

1. Sympathy is more important than helping.
2. I can not refuse alcohol, like a fish from water.
3. Order was invented by boring people.
4. Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
5. You never know what I can promise.
6. Working in a hurry is the same as swallowing without chewing.
7. Ready to understand everyone, but not himself.
8. Willow bends in a storm, and oak falls.
9. Everyone knows that I am always busy, but few people know what exactly.
10. Do not put pressure on me, otherwise I will slip away like a fish out of my hands.

Comic horoscope — 10 principles of each zodiac sign!

Each holiday is good and interesting in its own way. But usually at any holiday it all comes down to the fact that almost 99% of the attention is paid to the hero of the occasion: the hero of the day or the newlyweds or the birthday man. But what about the guests? They came to have fun and have fun! We have not forgotten about them, and have prepared an interesting game block: a comic astrological forecast for guests on the anniversary. This forecast can be presented in different ways. The most obvious option is the exit of an astrologer who reads out his forecast for each guest or zodiac sign. A gypsy can also come out, but then questions arise - why is a gypsy so smart that she understands astrology? Therefore, a gypsy in such a block would not be very appropriate. The third option is to read the astrological forecast by the presenter himself. This is in case there is no way to make a scene with dressing up. There may be other options, but they are not so obvious. How to show this number is up to you. Below we will provide you with some joke predictions that you can use on anniversaries.

Comic horoscope 1.
The first version of the comic horoscope is written by the guests themselves. Everything is quite simple, but interesting. Everyone knows the game called - missed adjectives. And in this game, we will skip the names of the guests. You need to come up with a prediction that doesn't have names. Then, at the celebration, you ask the hero of the day to name in turn the names of all the guests who are present at the celebration. And enter the names in the forecast in turn. Next, read what happened.
An example of an email with omitted guest names:

“Today (the date of the anniversary, the stars predict us a great festive evening! It will end differently for everyone, but everyone will be happy. At 19 o’clock, Jupiter will eclipse the sun and at this time (guest’s name) will go to rest under the table. Two minutes later, when the sun will come out from under the shadow of Jupiter (guest's name) will join the rest under the table.
At 19.25 the moon will appear in the sky. At the same minute (guest's name) with the words - I'm going to sleep! - falls face down in a plate of salad. When the Ursa Minor appears in the sky, then (guest's name) will start looking for a warm place to rest and will find it on a large and cozy chest (guest's name).
As soon as the clock strikes 20 o'clock, a musical pause will begin. And (guest name) will be the first to enter the dance floor and show a master class. After his dance (guest name) shouting - Bravo! - will run out onto the stage and arrange a wild dance with striptease elements. When (guest's name) sees this, he will scream - my God! This is the best thing I have ever seen in my life!
In twenty minutes. When the big bear appears in the sky, the dancing guests will calm down and sit down in their seats. At the same time, (guest's name) will shout loudly - I demand the continuation of the banquet! - he will drink a glass of vodka and gently lay his head on the table, as if on a pillow.
The evening will end with the fact that all the stars will appear in the sky, and under their influence (guest's name), together with (guest's name), they will sing a duet song - Mom Lyuda, come on, come on, come on! And the rest of the guests will shoot them on their phones to show the clip tomorrow morning and mock them!”

Here's an option you can try. You can change the text or create your own. It is important to remember here that all people are different, and if you know that someone may be offended, then it is better not to enter his name in the forecast.

Comic forecast 2.
The next forecast for guests is the morning after the holiday. This forecast is called - a hangover forecast!

And so, dear guests! A moment of attention. Today we all walk and have fun. But none of you thinks about the consequences, does not think about what will happen tomorrow morning with each of you. But our astrologer already knows everything, and will tell you about what will happen to each of you tomorrow morning.
Aries - the morning will start very badly for you. Approaching the mirror, you will see that your rounded horns have straightened out and prevent you from passing through the doors.
Taurus - do not think that if you drank activated charcoal before the holiday, then everything will be fine with you. You will still see this coal, and you will understand that everything is very bad.
Gemini - don't be surprised, but in the morning you will wake up with a person who looks exactly like you!
Crayfish - and you will learn to quickly crawl backwards from each glass, remembering tonight and your cries - pour, drink!
Lions - in the morning you will let out such a roar that the neighbors each neighbor will bring you bottles of cold mineral water.
Virgo - do not go to the mirror in the morning. Otherwise, you risk not recognizing yourself and fainting out of fear.
Libra - tomorrow morning will begin with the fact that you will weigh and figure out how much a normal person can drink, and how much you drank.
Scorpio - as soon as you wake up, immediately hangover. Otherwise, you will sting everyone all day with your sting.
Sagittarius - it is better to leave money in advance for tomorrow. Otherwise, you will shoot them at passers-by on a hangover.
Capricorns - in the morning a surprise awaits you - you will have new horns.
Aquarius - in the morning you will have guests who want to continue the banquet with you.
Pisces - and you will be ashamed of tonight and your behavior. All tomorrow you will be silent like a fish.

Horoscope 3.
And this horoscope is the shortest in the world! But this makes it even funnier and the guests will definitely like it. And so, let's look:

Horoscope 4.
And this is a rather bold horoscope, it is erotic! But nevertheless funny and the guests will like it. To make this horoscope go with a bang. Do this:
- name the sign of the zodiac and guests under this sign come to you. Romantic music turns on, they dance, and then you read out the horoscope:

Horoscope 5.
And another horoscope - alcohol!
The same can be done in a special way. You name the sign of the zodiac and the guests under this sign get up. They pour glasses and you read their horoscope, after which these guests drink. It turns out interesting and funny:
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Good day!
Whatever a person says about whether he believes in horoscopes or not, but a look at the articles of astrologers is no, no, but it will run through, even out of pure curiosity. The essence of each sign of the Zodiac can be found in the characters of films, in the heroes of fairy tales and books. This time, astrologers decided to draw an analogy of the zodiac constellations with representatives of the Slavic evil spirits. Find out what evil spirits you are according to your horoscope!

Aries - Serpent Gorynych
This three-headed character of fairy tales is just as restless: he either tries to burn down the village, or defeats the hero. The fire that he sprays around him is similar to the energy of Aries - if he does something that a light burns in his eyes. Tyrannical, always knows everything better than others. I’m not used to listening to other people’s advice - where can I go, because he has three heads of his own!

Taurus - Brownie
He also takes care of his home and really dislikes when someone invades his personal space without permission. Calculating and practical, he always finishes his work to the end. He likes to eat delicious food and at his leisure to drive the inhabitants of the house. Good-natured Skoda, in a word!

Gemini is Leshy
He is able to persuade, bewitch, subjugate and impose his opinion. Listening to it all the time is simply impossible. Sometimes from his speeches you want to run deeper into the forest and get lost there, not being afraid to get caught by the formidable Serpent Gorynych.

Cancer - Kikimora
This is a kind soul, but too sensitive and emotional. For any reason, she runs to Leshem, so that he reassures and supports her. According to a comic horoscope, Kikimora is a very thin nature, lives in exceptionally clean reservoirs with hundreds of leeches, which she loves to take care of.

Lion - Cat-Bayun
He feels very wise and dignified, and therefore he has acquired an old oak tree and a golden chain. The cat loves to give advice, loves to help and show his generosity. And what fairy tales he tells about himself - you will listen! In order for Kot-Bayun to always be in shape, you need to not only feed him with sour cream, but also praise him, stroke his head and admire him.

Virgo - Baba Yaga
She seems to know everything! Cynical, prudent and practical. He loves his hut on chicken legs and carefully ensures that the stove is constantly burning, and the heroes are not transferred to dinner. He knows a lot, and can help, he will always ask for something in return. Remembers all debts.

Libra - Ivanushka the Fool
Simple, trusting, kind to disgrace. Everything in his life develops until he reaches a fork with two signs. Indecisiveness and his doubting nature leads him to meet with a frog, although he could have chosen a swan princess.

Scorpio - Mermaid
In the comic horoscope of evil spirits, she appears as a mysterious, attractive, vulnerable and emotional person. A complex nature, it is not so easy to find a common language with her and like her. So if you are a simple Goblin or Brownie, you are not on your way with her. Vengeful, sometimes ruthless. It is not worth it to cross the road - it will drag you to the bottom of the river and make you its fun.

Sagittarius - famously one-eyed
Positive - despite the fact that he has only one eye. Kind - believes in a brighter future, despite the fact that it is called Dashing. Romantic - and flirts with Kikimora, and with the Mermaid. Insightful - with his own eye he sees much more than the rest.

Capricorn - Koschey the Immortal
The same impregnable, closed from the outside world and stubborn. He gave all his needles in eggs to the poor a long time ago, but he continues to claim that all his good is hidden somewhere on Buyan Island. He just likes to create intrigue and mystery around himself. He does not show emotions, but he is very afraid that someone will overthrow him from the throne.

Aquarius - Nightingale the Robber.
The whistler is still there! Knows how and to whom to whistle for his own benefit. Freedom-loving, independent, talented and resourceful. He prefers to walk alone, but never forgets about his friends - Lesh and Kikimore.

Pisces - Water
A philosopher, a thinker who constantly asks the sad question: “I want to fly, why can’t I?” But, unfortunately, he does not find an answer. Sometimes the Waterman comes to pity even Kikimora, who nevertheless finds words of support and perfectly understands the Waterman. The water man lives in illusions and can’t understand one more thing, why doesn’t anyone hang out with him, except for Kikimora, of course?

Thank you for attention!

Cool horoscopes for the signs of the zodiac seem ridiculous only at first glance. In fact, they are remembered much more clearly - after all, the joke itself "sinks" into memory. You can amuse your friends with a witty answer in an unexpected situation. Or you can take a closer look at yourself and your loved ones - to once again make sure that astrology is really a truthful and exact science.

And it is with the help of cool horoscopes that it will be easy for you to study astrology and delve into its basics. And you don’t have to memorize or drive anything into your head on purpose. Just read comic horoscopes and compare them with the behavior of your friends. Very soon, everything will fall into place in your head, and you will always know what to expect from others and what they expect from you. By the way, this is called "insight." And all thanks to the fact that you just love to read funny horoscopes!

Start with a simple example. Find out, what horoscopes prefer different signs of the zodiac- and check yourself and your friends.

Aries most often looking for a swearing horoscope. Well, what? What else to hang out with friends over a bottle of beer. It especially delivers to him when he is not scolded much, but everyone else - in full.

Taurus treats horoscopes without much confidence and never allows them to influence his life. But the financial and money horoscope sometimes still reads. But only in order to once again make sure that you are right.

Twins absorb all the horoscopes that meet on their turbulent life path. They forget them in exactly one minute - for this reason they do not believe in them.

crayfish, having read something offensive or unpleasant to themselves, they can be offended by all horoscopes in general. They prefer neutral horoscopes: floral, fashion, horoscopes of pets and peoples of the world.

a lion accepts only those horoscopes that exalt him. If you read aloud to him - just skip the "uncomfortable" places, and his favorable attitude is guaranteed to you.

Virgo in general, he does not believe in horoscopes, but he will read a medical horoscope very carefully. If the recommendations are reasonable, then Virgo will bring them to life, and if they seem like nonsense to her, she will reject them with indignation.

Scales love horoscopes love and romantic. But most of all they like horoscopes of compatibility between the signs of the zodiac. After reading them, they are no longer able to choose a partner for themselves - it becomes impossible to make a decision due to a large number of factors.

scorpions first of all look at horoscopes sexual and erotic. They read them quite carefully, memorizing everything well. Then they will definitely try the information received on their partners.

archers they love funny horoscopes, with good humor or unusual comparisons. However, horoscopes do not stay in their head for a long time. And they often understand them in their own way - in their favor.

Capricorn reads horoscopes in order to criticize them. He will look for all the inconsistencies and enjoy it. In the end, he will prove to himself and to everyone that all this is complete nonsense, and you need to be guided only by common sense.

Aquarius reads horoscopes from time to time and selectively memorizes them. Especially appreciates comic horoscopes with caustic jokes. Likes then to quote them at the most inappropriate - from your point of view - moments.

Fish they believe in everything in general - in signs, in signs and, of course, in horoscopes. They adhere to what is written so fanatically that they bring to life everything they read. Naturally, for them, horoscopes turn out to be one hundred percent correct.

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