How to get rid of shyness. How to overcome shyness and improve mental state? Stress, psychological trauma

Valeria Protasova

Reading time: 13 minutes

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Shy people always suffer from their shyness. Even if they don't realize it. Moreover, they, as a rule, do not turn to specialists precisely because of shyness.

This vicious circle does not allow them to become free people and improve their own lives. Although many argue that shyness has its own charm ...

What is shyness and shyness - where did it come from, and how do they manifest themselves?

The term "shyness" refers to the inability to clearly and openly, without fear, to express themselves and declare their interests.

This condition usually develops on the basis of complex "little man" in which this person feels guilty for causing inconvenience to others, considers himself uninteresting to society, and so on.

But, if you dig even deeper, shyness goes hand in hand with cowardice, self-doubt, fear, complexes and false modesty.

Video: Shyness is the cause of failure

False shyness - or true shyness?

It is important to distinguish true shyness from! When a person is embarrassed because the shameful actions that the situation requires are beyond his morals, this is decent shyness and quite normal behavior.

Another thing is when a person's shyness begins to take the form of a noticeable self-doubt - this phenomenon definitely needs to be fought.

If not on your own, then with the help of specialists.

The main reasons for shyness usually include:

Fear. Fear of rejection, condemnation, misunderstanding, etc.
Cowardice.
Low self-esteem , lack of confidence.
Dependence on someone else's opinion and self-doubt.
presence of complexes.
Closeness of character , closedness.
Loneliness, isolation from society . Lack of basic skills necessary for free communication.
Genetics and parental example . Shy notorious parents most often have equally shy notorious children.
Experienced psychological trauma , fear of communication with others.
Abundance of criticism in the family , constant humiliation and life in prohibitions, "puritan" education.
Ignorance.

Studying the causes of shyness, we can confidently say that shyness is based mainly on human complexes, internal tightness caused by specific factors. And the question - to treat or not to treat shyness - disappears by itself.

If we are not talking about normal behavior for a well-mannered and worthy person, which is expressed in healthy embarrassment, as a reaction to this or that “unhealthy” situation, then we are talking about shyness, which can and should be eradicated, gradually changing it to self-confidence, the right to speak, think and act as your heart and head tell you.

Is shyness always a disadvantage: negative and positive sides

The advantages of shyness include the following advantages (if we talk about shyness as a side of character, and not as a result of psycho-traumas and complexes):

Shy people are highly sensitive . Their friendship and love is always strong and indestructible. If a shy person found the strength to trust and open up, then he raised his "visor" and let his feelings fly free. And the power of feelings of a closed person is always powerful, and this “tsunami” (without fail) is preceded by a thorough analysis - is it really possible to open up and trust a partner (friend).
Shyness makes a person be more careful and therefore more attentive and less vulnerable.
A shy person is self-critical and is able to form a more adequate assessment of one's own "I".
Shyness strengthens family relationships and even enhances the fullness of sensations in intimate life (many men note the excitement that is caused by the shyness of a woman).
Shy people are often referred to as secular, sophisticated, aristocratic. . Shyness puts a person in a favorable light - as a serious, modest, not causing harm and pain to other people, not capable of "dirty".
Shy people are more picky about their friends. and community in general.
Shy people listen more, talk less , avoid conflicts, prudent and choosy.
Shy people don't stand out from the crowd , they seem to walk around in masks of shyness, allowing them to remain anonymous.

Among the disadvantages of shyness:

Without a certain amount of arrogance and assertiveness in this world, it is difficult to make your way.
It is difficult for shy people to climb the career ladder - they simply do not notice.
The personal life of shy people is a separate issue. For the same reason.
Despite the love of men for shy girls, in fact, they pay attention more often to relaxed and self-confident ladies.
Shy people do not know how to say “no”, which is why they are often hung up with extra work, borrowing and not paying back, and so on.
A shy person has great difficulty solving problems that require communication with strangers.
Shy people are often deprived of the classic joys of relaxation because they are too shy to sing, dance, express their emotions in general. And emotions that are not splashed out in time are once grouped into severe depression and neurasthenia.
Shy people are too vulnerable and too sensitive, they react very painfully to any reproach, to criticism, to comments about their shortcomings.
Shy people are closer to the world of illusions - fantasies, dreams, movies and book novels than the real "cruel" world. As a result, there is a lack of an adequate assessment of reality as a whole. A shy person who fails to adequately evaluate people and relationships is often the victim of deceit and more serious actions.

Video: How to stop being shy? | Shyness

How to overcome shyness in 10 easy steps - tips that really work

To fight or not to fight shyness?

Definitely fight! Especially if it interferes with your life, and you yourself are aware of it.

How to fight?

A lot of books have been written on this topic and no less films have been shot, but we will single out the main advice of experts separately - in 10 simple steps to help you cope with this "disease" and gain self-confidence:

We do what we fear the most. Take a pen, write down a list of all situations in which your shyness manifests itself. Let's start with the most serious ones. For example, “speak in front of everyone at the institute”, or “meet a young man on the street”, or “go to a dance school”, and so on. Did you write a list? And now, strictly on points, starting from the very first, we knock out a wedge with a wedge! We prepare a lecture and speak with it at the institute. Then we meet on the street. Next, we enroll in a dance school, etc. If it’s difficult, you can start from the end of the list, from the easiest situations.
We keep a diary of observations. Carry a notebook with you and write down every situation that makes you feel embarrassed and anxious. At home, analyze these situations and analyze why you were embarrassed and what to do so that this does not happen again. For example: “The situation is to ask the driver to stop the minibus; The reason for embarrassment is that people will pay attention; The level of embarrassment is 5 points out of 10, ”and now we are looking for a way to cope with excitement.
Self-confidence can be feigned! Over time, you will get involved, you will like it, and it will be possible to be confident in yourself quite sincerely.
Speak little, slowly and loudly. Train at home. Sign up for a theater group - it liberates even the most shy personalities.
Nobody cares about you! Remember this. In fact, people don't really care what you're wearing, whether your voice is trembling, whether you're worried, and so on. Therefore, worrying about people who do not care about you simply does not make sense.
Love yourself the way you are. . Self-confident people don't waste time worrying about being short, narrow-shouldered, teeth that aren't too white, burrs, or anything else. Self-confident people accept themselves the way nature created them.
Smile, gentlemen! A smile is always a sign of a confident person. Start in the morning with a mirror. Then smile at passers-by, neighbors, colleagues, and so on. And be sure to look the person in the eye when you smile. In response, people start smiling too (in 90% of cases), and your self-confidence will grow by leaps and bounds along with your mood.
Sign up for sections, circles where you will be forced to communicate with people and constantly struggle with shyness.
Attend group thematic trainings which are held for shy people to help them cope with shyness.
Change your surroundings more often. Travel constantly. Create situations for yourself in which you have to go beyond the usual limits and get out of your comfortable shell.

Video: How to finally stop being shy?

And also…

Looking for motivation! For example, career. Or a loved one. Or a dream - to dance the tango on stage.
Analyze your life and find the reasons for your shyness.
Learn from other people's experiences in the fight against shyness.
Develop your sense of humor - it helps to maintain inner balance even in the most extreme situations.
Fight your fears : study your fears under a magnifying glass, simulate situations of getting rid of fears.
Do more stupid things and get cheeky . For example, buy yourself a motorcycle instead of a car. Or sing a song on your balcony in the middle of the night—loudly for everyone to hear. Change your image radically so that everyone is stunned by what a fatal beauty you turn out to be. Take a person you like for a walk.
Go in for sports . Sport not only gives beautiful forms, but also tempers the spirit, and also raises self-esteem. Immediately sign up with the gym and look for a trainer who will teach you not only to create a relief body, but to be yourself.
Constantly ask passers-by what time it is and how to get to house number 14 . It doesn't matter that you have a watch, but there is no house number 14 on this street - just ask. Every day - 20-30 times, regardless of gender and age.

What to do if you can’t cope with painful shyness, who to turn to for help?

The extreme degree of shyness is experienced by every 10th person on the planet. This every 10th shy fellow can only feel relaxed at home, alone.

Often we judge people who are unable to feel embarrassed in any situation. To us, they seem vulgar, overly liberated, and in some ways even arrogant. But on the other hand, you can have fun and interesting time with them, and such people always achieve success in life, since they are not afraid of difficulties.

A shy person is perceived by us as boring, withdrawn and uninteresting. And, unfortunately, a lot of negative emotions accumulate in the soul of such people, because they want to change their character, but they do not succeed. I will tell you how to overcome shyness, and I am sure that together we will cope with this problem.

At one time, excessive shyness was inherent in me. And in many situations, she gave me a feeling of discomfort, because new companies caused some spiritual fear, and communication with people was constrained and somehow ridiculous. Despite this, I had friends, but with whom I wanted to communicate - they considered me unsuitable for their circle. Envy of more successful people periodically appeared, I wanted to be in their places.

The most offensive was that in my soul I was liberated, I knew what to talk about with people in order to please them, I could take the initiative to lead the people. But some invisible barrier interfered, which literally silenced me.

I seriously thought about it, and said to myself that all this does not suit me. I do not want to be ashamed of people all my life, as this is a direct path to misfortune. I don't want to follow their backs, I want to get ahead. I have to change and I will!

The first step is the most terrible, because having embarked on the path of combating shyness, at first thoughts arise that nothing good will come of it, and the distant goal seems completely unattainable. But to make it easier for you to move towards the landmark, let's make a plan that will clearly demonstrate at what stage of the path we are at the moment:

the realization that other people are no different from you;
the perception of failures is not the end of the world, but life's trials;
facing what you fear.

First of all, you need to realize that the people around you are absolutely no different from you. And if they are confident in themselves, they are considered interesting personalities, they can easily find a common language with anyone, then why are you worse? Stop fading behind them! You, too, can become the soul of the company, you can achieve tremendous success in life, you can lead the people.

Do not forget that even the most influential and respected people are just like you, they also need rest, food, sleep, they also have their own dreams and desires, and they also faced troubles in their lives.

Sometimes we perceive failure as the end of the world. It seems to us that people secretly mock us and condemn us for our mistakes. In fact, you are exaggerating too much. And even if there was some kind of ridiculous situation, because of which you were subjected to offensive jokes from colleagues or acquaintances, then at least it remained in the past. Over time, no one will remember your failure, so it makes no sense for you to focus on this. Imagine that it was just a life test that you overcame with dignity.

You know, when I was in the camp as a teenager, I was sent to a competition where there were many tasks, and all of them had to be performed on stage in front of a huge number of guys. I was embarrassed at the first stage. It was necessary to read a poem, but being confused, I could remember only the first line, and then there was deathly silence. I didn't know what to do and I didn't know how to get rid of this microphone and I just ran off the stage.

It was embarrassing, but I tried not to make a tragedy out of this failure, collected my thoughts, and coped with the next stages of the competition perfectly. Of course, jokes were periodically poured into my address about my performance, it was unpleasant, but with all my appearance I showed that this situation did not hurt me, and even joked at myself in response. And everyone who tried to offend me with this fell behind, because they did not receive the reaction that they expected ...

And finally, the last step in how to overcome shyness is to face your fears face to face. Force yourself to take the initiative in communicating with people, express your point of view on a particular issue, show dissatisfaction if something does not suit you.

And, by the way, during a conversation, always look the interlocutor in the eyes, this will give you additional self-confidence. After all, a lowered look indicates that a person is shy. Of course, you will not be comfortable at first, but each time the shyness will disappear until it ceases to be a problem for you at all.

Xenia, Petrozavodsk

Psychologist's comment:

Shyness (shyness, shyness) is a personality trait that gives its owner such characteristics as indecision, fearfulness, tension, stiffness and awkwardness when interacting with other people.

An important step not taken on time, a good idea not expressed, a frank conversation with a significant person that did not take place - these are just a small part of those events in our personal lives that often have shyness behind them.

A shy person does not allow himself spontaneity in his words or actions, instead he is forced to carefully control himself when communicating with others. In the words of the author of the article, he seems to be hindered by an invisible barrier - an irrational fear of presenting himself, so as not to seem ridiculous, inappropriate, to fail.

What is the reason for this behaviour? What happens in the inner world of a shy person? According to the American psychologist Philip Zimbardo, who owns the most fundamental study of this topic, shyness is due to a person's recognition of his own inferiority and constant anxiety about his actions.

A shy person has inadequate self-esteem, makes too high demands on himself, his image of the “I am real” has a strong gap with the image of the “I am ideal”. At the same time, the image of the “I” of another person is seen as critical / rejecting, therefore, contact with him is perceived as potentially dangerous, threatening an already fragile self-esteem and self-respect.

A colossal amount of mental strength of such a person is spent on masking and leveling this distance between a realistic and standard image of oneself in the eyes of others. Shyness makes a person too preoccupied with himself and the impression he makes on others.

Most shy people learn to avoid situations in which they may feel embarrassed, and thus more and more separate themselves from others, focusing on their shortcomings.

How is shyness formed?

According to most experts dealing with this problem, the foundation of shyness, of course, is laid in childhood. The reason for its appearance is the excessive demands of parents (caregivers, teachers, social environment) for the child/adolescent.

At the same time, the requirements can be voiced, or they can only be “read between the lines”. As a result, the child develops a distorted idea of himself and of interaction with other people. Instead of natural pride, self-respect and confidence in his own strengths and abilities, he experiences a painful feeling that something is wrong with him, he is not like everyone else.

Instead of feeling joy and pleasure from communicating with emotionally significant people, he experiences anxiety, anxiety and fear of being misunderstood and rejected. Later, this "outer critic" moves into the inner world of a person and fills him with critical comments about everything he tries to do or say.

Speaking metaphorically, two psychological types begin to live in a person at once - the “prisoner” and the “guard”, one of which desperately strives for freedom, and the second monitors compliance with the conditions of imprisonment.

Such people, even if they want to do something and know how it can be done, still do not dare to act. They are held back by the voice of the inner warden. And the inner prisoner decides to renounce the anxieties of a free life and submits with meekness.

How to overcome shyness? Is there a way out of this prison?

Since shyness is emotionally experienced as a very painful and difficult to bear condition, a person tries in every possible way to get rid of it, to remove himself from the source of tension.

In addition to physical avoidance of such situations, people tend to use psychological defense mechanisms, such as denial and suppression. In the first case, the very fact of experiencing emotion, its destructive effect on the psyche, is denied.

In the second case, a person tries to suppress (forget, remove from consciousness) his thoughts about embarrassing situations. Both of these options are ineffective and, in addition, have serious consequences for the psychological regulation and well-being of the individual.

The most effective way to overcome shyness is, in my opinion, the correction of self-esteem in the direction of greater acceptance of oneself, the transformation of the idea of \u200b\u200bit "real I" as good enough, worthy of love and respect.

The task is not the easiest, but quite doable. For its implementation, perhaps, someone will need the help of specialists, and someone, like the author, decides to cope with the exciting problem on their own. In any case, the right vector on this path is to notice your strengths more, and not focus on your shortcomings.

Think about it, is there too much criticism in your inner world about everything that you do? Are your accusations against yourself justified? Maybe you should listen to the voice of the inner lawyer? Is he even there? What arguments does he give to support your personality?

As for the process of interaction with people around you, when making contact, it is important to remember that it is unlikely that all of them are pursuing the goal of comparing you with a certain standard existing in their minds and convicting you of inconsistency with it. Moreover, we must understand that shyness to one degree or another is characteristic of each of us.

Let this simple truth inspire you on your way to recognizing the right to present your own uniqueness, to accept your undoubted merits and the value of your life.

Psychologist-consultant Anna Orlyanskaya

Are you so nervous before performing in public that you want to catch a cold and not perform? If yes, then you are not alone. Many people in the world suffer from feeling a little or a lot of shyness and are trying to overcome this feeling! Of course, this takes time, effort and, of course, the desire to change. Here are some tips to help you overcome shyness.

Steps

Part 1

Understanding Shyness

Think about the reasons for shyness. Shyness isn't necessarily reserved for introverts or people who don't like themselves. Shyness is an embarrassment that overtakes you when you are around other people. What is the reason for your shyness? In fact, shyness is a symptom of a larger problem. There are three options here:

You have low self-esteem due to the fact that you cannot appreciate yourself. It is difficult to stop listening to the inner voice that lowers your self-esteem, but in the end, it is your inner voice and you must learn to control it.
You are obsessed with what people think of you. This is due to increased attention to one's own person. If all your energy goes into controlling your actions so that you don't make mistakes, then don't think that other people do the same. We'll talk about shifting your attention to other people next.
You are shy only because other people think you are shy. Children are usually shy. However, some people continue to see you as shy even as you mature. In this case, you just want to live up to their expectations (and are therefore shy). Is it about you? Then justify your own expectations, not the expectations of other people.
- Regardless of the reason, it is entirely possible to overcome shyness. The main reason for shyness is your thinking, which needs to be controlled.

Accept shyness is the first step to overcoming it. The more you resist shyness (consciously or unconsciously), the longer you will suffer from it. If you are shy, then take it for granted. Say to yourself, “Yes, I am shy and I accept it.”

Find out what makes you shy. Does this happen when you perform in front of an audience? Or when you learn a new skill? Or are you in an unfamiliar situation? Or are you embarrassed by people you know and admire? Or maybe when you don't know someone? Try to "spot" the thoughts that arise in your head just before such moments.
- You are not shy in all situations. Are you shy around your family? How are strangers different? Almost nothing - just relatives know you better, and you know them. It's not about you, it's about the situation you're in.
Make a list of situations that worry you. Put what worries you the least at the top of the list, and what worries you the most at the bottom. Once you describe situations in words, you can move on to solving them.
- Describe situations as specifically as possible. “Speaking in front of an audience” is a description of the situation, but it can be made more specific. Speaking in front of the authorities? In front of the ones you like? By specifying the situation, you will be able to solve it more successfully.
When you have a list of 10-15 stressful situations, start working on them one by one. The most "simple" situations will help you feel confident, and you can move on to more difficult ones.
- Don't worry if you have to go back to some points; do it at your own pace, but don't forget to push yourself.
Part 2
Mind control
1. Treat shyness as a "command". The cause of shyness is like a command in a computer program that tells the program what to do. In the same way, you can "program" your thinking. Think about the fact that our minds are “programmed” from childhood to respond to certain stimuli, such as staying away from strangers, heights, dangerous animals, and so on. Therefore, we react to some stimuli by default (as “programmed” in our brain), but such a reaction may be erroneous. For example, when some people see a lizard, they react to it as a disgusting animal, while other people really like lizards. In the same way, when timid people see strangers (irritant), the natural (default) response is shyness. The truth is that you can get rid of shyness by "reprogramming" your mindset. This can be done like this:
  - Interview yourself and find out the reasons for the manifestation of shyness.
  - Practice public speaking to overcome shyness. Force yourself to do things that you are embarrassed to do. If you are shy around strangers, you will probably prefer to retire to a quiet place, as this has been your natural reaction for a long time; this time don't be alone, but force yourself to talk to other people. Yes, you will feel very uncomfortable, but consider negative feelings as an incentive to force yourself to act in a way that you have never acted. After a few attempts, you will realize that the negative feelings and emotions actually helped you because they motivated you to change.
2. Switch your attention to other people. 99% of the time, people are embarrassed when they think that if they speak in public they will be embarrassed. Therefore, it is important to focus on other people. If we focus on ourselves, we begin to worry about how not to make a mistake.
  
  Close your eyes and imagine a situation in which you might feel shy. Now, in your imagination, try to feel confident in yourself. Do this exercise often for different situations. It will be most effective if you do this every day, especially in the morning. It may sound silly, but athletes use visualization to develop skills, so why not give it a try?
  - Turn on all your senses to better feel self-confidence. Imagine yourself happy. What are you doing? How do you say? That way, when the time comes, you will be ready.
3. Watch your posture. If you stand with your shoulders straight, you appear to the world as a confident and open person. Often we are treated the way we present ourselves, so if you are an open person, your body should emphasize this.
  
  Speak clearly. This will help avoid embarrassment due to the need to repeat what has been said. You have to get used to (and even love) your own voice!
  - Record your performance. After listening to the recording, you will understand where you are making mistakes, for example, speaking quietly, although you think you are speaking loudly. In the beginning, you will feel like an actor (and do the things that actors do when preparing for a role), but it will become a habit.
4. Don't compare yourself to others. The more you compare yourself to other people, the more you will feel like you don't measure up to them and the worse you will feel. It makes no sense to compare yourself with someone else, but if you do compare, then do it objectively.
  - If you have confident friends or family, talk to them about your shyness. Chances are, they will say that they have also struggled with shyness at some point. You are just at an early stage in the process of overcoming shyness.
5. Develop self-confidence. Everyone has a special gift or a wonderful trait of character. It may sound trite, but it's true. Think about what you know, what you're good at, and what you've accomplished rather than focusing on how you look, talk, or dress. Remember that even the "beautiful and successful" have something they don't like about themselves. And there is no reason to be ashamed of their "problem" because their "problem" does not embarrass them at all.
  - When you focus on this, you will realize that you have something to offer other people, such as your knowledge or skills needed to solve a particular problem or keep a conversation going. Knowing this, you will not be shy about talking to other people.
6. Determine your social values and strengths. If you are not the “life of the party” or the person who speaks the most and loudest, then this does not mean that you do not have strengths. Are you a good listener? Are you attentive to details? It is possible that your strength is a trait that you have not even thought about. Perhaps your forte is watching others from the sidelines.
  - Your merit can give you an advantage. If you are a good listener, you will probably be able to identify the person who is having problems and needs to talk. In this case, such a person needs you. There is nothing difficult in this situation - just ask such a person: “What happened?”.
  - In each social group, all roles must be distributed. You also have a role to play, you just can't define it. No one person is better than another - you just need to know your strengths.
7. Don't think about common misconceptions. Extroverts are not necessarily popular or happy, and shy people are not necessarily introverts or cold and indifferent people. Don't think about common misconceptions, but don't be misled about other people either.
  - The popular kids at school put in a lot of effort to be popular. That's fine, but that doesn't mean they're happy or that it will go on forever. Don't imitate someone who isn't really what they seem to be. Listen to your own inner voice (at school, at university, and so on).
Part 3
Actions in different situations
1. Be informed. If you're going to a party, prepare to talk about a couple of popular topics. Is the government doing well? What will be the ending of the famous television show? Read more and you will be able to keep up the conversation on almost any topic.
  - There is no need to seek deep knowledge. You just need to be able to carry on a conversation. Do not judge the interlocutor and do not insist on your opinion; be open and friendly. By saying, "I wouldn't want to be in his place," you will break the conversation.
2. Understand the few steps of any conversation and you can automatically keep the conversation going. Any conversation includes four stages:
  - The first step is to strike up a conversation.
  - The second stage is the introduction.
  - The third stage is finding a common language; some topic you can talk about.
  - The fourth stage is the end of the conversation. One of the interlocutors tells the other that he needs to go; the conversation is summed up and, possibly, information is exchanged. "I enjoyed talking to you." “I never thought of her that way. Here is my business card!" "Let's meet again."
3. Start a conversation. Remember that big project you completed? The mountain you climbed? An illness that you have dealt with? If you can start a conversation, it won't be difficult to keep the conversation going. A random phrase about something that applies to you and your interlocutor will start a conversation. "This bus can't wait!" or "Did you see his tie today?"
  
  Warm up. If you are visiting, you can keep up the same conversation over and over again. Choose one or two interlocutors and talk to them about abstract topics (with pleasantries and platitudes) until you get tired of it. Then go back to the people you really want to talk to and focus on having a serious conversation.
4. Be open. Demonstrate openness and friendliness with the interlocutor through body language. Do not cross your arms or hold anything in them and look at the interlocutor.
  - Think of the people you would like to talk to. What is their facial expression and posture? Now think about the ones you don't want to talk to. What category does your pose fall into?
5. Smile and look people in the eye. Smiling at a stranger will make you happy and make him happy. Smiling is a friendly way to show appreciation for others and is a good way to start a conversation with a friend or even a stranger. By smiling, you demonstrate that you are a friendly and open person.
  - People are social creatures. We are all looking for communication that makes our lives better.
6. Think about your body. When you are in a group of people (or even alone with another person), you are likely to become shy. This is fine. In this case, ask yourself the following questions:
  - Am I breathing right? Breathe deeply to let your body relax.
  - Am I relaxed? If not, take a more comfortable position.
  - Am I open? You can judge this by the posture of your body. Openness can change the perception of you by other members of society.
Part 4
Challenge yourself
You don't have to do what everyone else is doing. In this case, you are unlikely to find people who like you and have common interests with you. Then why waste your time?! If you don't like going to nightclubs, then that's perfectly fine. Connect with other people at coffee, at small parties, or at work.
Get out of your comfort zone. Put yourself in a position where you can't help but take action to combat shyness.
- Start at the top of the list, remember? It can be a short conversation with a girl, or a question about the time with a stranger at the bus stop, or a conversation with a guy whose locker is located next to yours. Most people don't like to start a conversation (guess why? Yes, because they look like you), but there are plenty of topics to talk about.

If your family and friends know you are shy, they may tease you. It will be difficult for some to cross you out of this category, in which they themselves wrote you down. Just ignore them. They don't mean anything bad, but don't let them push you back into the "shell"!
Sometimes shyness is an age problem; as they grow older, many people become more self-confident. If you feel uncomfortable trying to change yourself, stop - you can simply outgrow your shyness.