All about NLP prohibited techniques. NLP communication techniques that produce real results

How realistic is it to manage people using NLP techniques? Is it possible to persuade a person to take one or another action using special psychological techniques? In recent years, people are increasingly looking for answers to these questions. Neurolinguistic programming, which many perceive as the art of manipulation, has caused a truly unprecedented stir in society. And although the area of ​​influence can be limited by methods NLP people management it is impossible (since this completely discredits this direction of practical psychology), it is also impossible to deny the fact that it is precisely this result that attracts contemporaries most of all. Fortunately, people who want to learn human skills will not be disappointed with neuro-linguistic programming. In addition to other therapeutic techniques, the NLP technique has a huge arsenal of tools with which you can conduct effective communication, exerting an imperceptible influence on the subconscious of the interlocutor. Readers can learn about some of them (the simplest and most accessible) from this article.

Simple NLP speech techniques for managing people

Before starting the story about NLP techniques for managing people, I would like to note that the art of manipulation is far from being as simple as it seems to most contemporaries. In order to fully master it, you need special personal qualities that are not inherent in every person. Fortunately, along with complex, multi-level NLP techniques for managing people, there are also simpler techniques available for use by everyone, without exception.

I present to your attention some of them:

  1. Presupposition. The essence of this NLP technology for managing people is to formulate a command in the form of a condition for a simpler and less important action (“When you go to the store, dress warmly - it’s cold outside”).
  2. Truism. This is one of the most used in the NLP technique for hidden management of people. It involves the use of generalizations (always, everyone, everyone, no one, etc.). For example, instead of saying, “Buy this TV,” they say, “Everyone wants to buy this TV.”
  3. The command hidden in the question (“Have you noticed how useful this gadget is?”).
  4. The illusion of choice. This NLP method for managing people involves creating the appearance of choice where none exists (“Do you want an ice cream cone or a popsicle?”).

A few more ways to covertly control a person using NLP techniques

In addition to speech strategies, there are other NLP techniques for hidden human control. The tuning technique is considered very effective. It involves copying gestures, manner of speaking, rate of speech, breathing and other elements of the interlocutor’s behavior. Using this technique, you can induce subconscious trust and sympathy in the subject.

Another method used in NLP for hidden control of a person is the method of breaking patterns. It allows you to put the subject into a state of stupor, in which you can suggest anything to him. The essence of this NLP strategy for managing people is to act contrary to patterns, not as a person expects (for example, answer a formal question “How are you” not with the phrase “Normal”, but with the statement “Very bad. I don’t do that anymore.” Can"). &1

In order to fully understand what NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) is and how it works, you must first become familiar with the 12 main principles on which this branch of modern behavioral psychology is built, and which will fully explain to you how to manage people when NLP help.

All these principles have been developed since the 60s of the last century, which made it possible to prove their reality and effectiveness both in numerous experiments with voluntary experimental subjects, and when applied in real life - during negotiations, personnel management, changing relationships between spouses, in medicine and correlations of behavior of both children and adults.

1. Any person bases his behavior on subjective experience and the conclusions that he draws from it. First, an event occurs in a person’s life, which he evaluates as negative or positive (negative or positive). Then, as a result of repeated repetitions of these events in his mind, a person develops a manner of behavior that allows him to avoid repeating negative events in reality or, on the contrary, to repeat positive events in his life. As a result, a stable behavior pattern is developed, which determines a person’s entire destiny.

2. If desired, any subjective experience gained by a person during his life can be reprogrammed, as a result of which both the person’s attitude towards the events that have occurred and his attitude towards himself and the world around him will change. Thanks to this, a person can think of his failures as “necessary life lessons,” losses as “tests that he must pass with honor,” and victories and achievements (one option) as “temptations.” By changing your attitude towards experience, you change the person.

3. In the same way, a person forms his attitude towards future events. In the case of the same work that awaits him, he may consider it a punishment if (conditionally) it is poorly paid, or a gift if he expects a substantial reward.

4. In the same way, a change in a person’s attitude towards future events occurs - by finding positive aspects in them that can make him experience joyful impatience from expecting even the worst or, just an hour ago, unwanted.

5. By practicing NLP, you can change a person’s attitude towards certain events, but you cannot force him to do something specific, for example, give you his money, because NLP is not hypnosis or induction into a deep trance. First of all, NLP changes the “signs” - pros and cons - in a person’s mind, and, based on this, his behavior and his whole life change.

6. NLP believes that we are all the signals that our subconscious sends to the world around us. So, if a person considers himself a loser, then the whole world, reading the signals he sends, considers him such. But as soon as a person believes (or allows an NLP specialist to instill this idea in him) that he is a successful person on the path to success, the people around him will consider him as such, helping the person on his path to the goal.

7. Psychologists have long noticed that, even having received the prospect of achieving the most incredible goals, a person feels uncomfortable if he is deprived of choice - leaving him with only one goal. Therefore (and this has been proven) the most powerful in terms of impact are those sessions on neuro-linguistic programming, as a result of which a person has two goals, even if they are unambiguous in level. Knowing this, NLP specialists have learned to present the same goal as two different ones, giving a person a false sense of choice.

8. NLP is most effective in relation to people who are in a state of so-called “stagnation” - when they want changes in their lives or in their destiny, but they themselves are not able to find a solution to the problem they have created. In this case, they are ready to grab any opportunity you offer to change at least something. And the brighter and more positive this opportunity is, the more willingly a person will accept it.

9. NLP uses three methods of influencing people, both separately and together:

  • auditory (verbal) - suggestion using words, music and other sounds;
  • visual - suggestion using visual images;
  • kinesthetic - suggestion by creating in a person one or another emotions and sensations.

We have arranged all of them in order of difficulty in mastering them.

10. Unlike hypnotists or psychotherapists, NLP adherents do not put a person into a trance state of varying severity. Instead, they tune in to the same wavelength with him - copying emotions, posture, gestures, breathing rhythm, speed and timbre of speech, etc. All this allows you to find the key to any person in order to get into direct contact with his subconscious. And this, in turn, allows you to both read information from under consciousness and put it there.

11. In the case of using NLP in psychotherapeutic practices at any level, one should remember the main principle voiced by Milton Erickson more than 50 years ago: “A person not only carries within himself his problems, he carries within himself all the solutions to how he can solve them in the shortest possible time, and with the greatest positive effect.”

12. And it should always be remembered that any violent influences using NLP - attempts to force a person to do what he considers unacceptable and wrong, end in failure, which can lead to both a painful state of the one who was subjected to suggestion, and to undisguised aggression with his side in relation to the manipulator.

Many people are familiar with the abbreviation NLP. Not everyone knows what it is. After reading this article, you will become familiar with this area of ​​psychology, which has become very famous today. Neurolinguistic programming is what NLP stands for.

What it is? We can briefly answer this question as follows: this is an area of ​​psychology that studies the structure of subjective human experience, and also develops a language for describing it, and is engaged in discovering ways of modeling and mechanisms of this experience to improve it and transfer the identified models to other people. At first NLP was called "metaknowledge". In other words, it is the science of the structure of our experience and knowledge.

Details about the name

The first part of the name "NLP" ("neuro") reflects what should be understood as "languages ​​of the brain" for describing human experience. These are neurological processes responsible for processing, storing and transmitting information. NLP makes it possible to understand how internal perception works. The second part - “linguistic” - indicates the importance that language has in describing the characteristics of behavior and mechanisms of thinking, as well as in organizing various communication processes. The final part - “programming” - emphasizes that behavioral and mental processes are systematic: translated from Greek, “program” means “a sequence of steps that are aimed at achieving a particular result.”

Consequently, the name as a whole reflects the fact that NLP refers to subjective human experience and to people's lives as systemic processes with their own structure. Thanks to this, it becomes possible to study them, as well as to identify the most successful experience, which we usually call talent, intuition, natural talent, etc.

Holistic approach to NLP theory

What kind of area of ​​psychology is this, you now know. Let us note its main features. NLP can be considered as a scientific field of knowledge, and even as an art, since it can be presented at the level of practical technologies and tools, as well as at the level of spirituality. It is based on a holistic approach to the study of human experience, based on the concept of the unity of spirit, body and mind.

Authors of NLP and the research they relied on

NLP was born as a result of the interdisciplinary interaction of various researchers who studied the work of such great psychotherapists as Virginia Satir, Fritz Perls, Milton Erickson. Its founders are considered to be professional linguist John Grinder and psychologist and mathematician Richard Bandler. In addition, the co-authors of NLP include Judith Delozier, Leslie Cameron, Robert Dilts, David Gordon. Today, this area is actively developing and supplemented by new developments. The circle of her co-authors is constantly growing.

NLP as an integrative independent field of knowledge grew out of models of practical psychology, while incorporating all the best from a practical point of view. It was at first very eclectic, but over time it acquired a powerful methodology, based largely on the epistemology of G. Bateson, works on the theory of communication, and the ecology of the mind. In addition, B. Russell's theory of logical types was used, which became the prototype of logical levels in NLP. You will find out what it is by turning to books on NLP.

At the first stage of its development, it began with the modeling of Fritz Perls. This man is the founder of Gestalt therapy. The modeling was carried out taking into account all the most important principles and approaches of Gestalt psychology. That is why the way NLP looks at thought and behavioral patterns is largely related to the Gestalt method. The second "model" that was used is specific linguistic patterns that create trance states of varying depths. A famous hypnotherapist used them in his work. Based on his works, he achieved a doctorate in linguistics. Therefore, it becomes clear why linguistics should also be considered among the scientific roots of NLP. Its authors proceeded from the idea that linguistic structures and speech reflect subjective experience and its internal processes.

The scientific foundations of NLP, among other things, also include the developments of behavioral psychology. Its founder is A.P. Pavlov, Russian academician. Particularly important are the discoveries in the field of conditioned reflex activity. The authors of NLP focused their attention not on the mechanism of reflexes, but on the difference between unconditioned and conditioned, on the study of triggers (external stimuli) that trigger a specific reflex. This topic in NLP is called "anchoring".

NLP - a method of manipulation?

NLP has gained great popularity today. You can learn some technologies and techniques quite quickly and almost immediately feel the practical benefits. Unfortunately, in the media sometimes certain people say that NLP is a method of manipulation. However, in reality it is just a set of techniques and description techniques, something like an alphabet that helps to transfer knowledge. NLP, like any other tool, can be used for both good and bad. For centuries, manipulators have been improving their skills, long before NLP techniques arose. Therefore, it is wrong to connect these phenomena.

What can you learn by mastering these techniques?

First of all, you will learn to better understand others, their needs and needs, and you will be able to clearly convey your thoughts to your interlocutor. A person is often unable to clearly and clearly express what he would like to say. You will learn to ask questions correctly, which will help others clarify their thoughts, structure ideas, and also significantly save energy and time.

Let us note that NLP is a purely practical thing. He should learn by practicing skills and immediately applying them in action. Learning by practice and from books is like comparing a person who can speak a foreign language fluently with someone who can only translate with a dictionary.

Why do people attend NLP trainings?

In addition to practicing practical skills, you will meet many interesting people. By doing the exercises together, you will be able not only to communicate in a relaxed atmosphere, but also to make new acquaintances, see yourself from the outside, and also note in others your own mistakes or moments that you have already managed to cope with. NLP training is usually quite fun. A significant part of the time is spent not on lectures, but on practicing the knowledge and skills that are being studied.

In addition to cognitive tasks, others are solved during the training - to spend time usefully and interestingly, to understand oneself, in relationships with other people, to set goals for the future, to solve complex problems facing the training participants. All together this can be defined by the term “personal growth”.

Duration and specifics of trainings

NLP training is usually inexpensive. However, it has specifics - if you seriously study it in order to subsequently be able to freely apply its elements, you need to devote quite a long time to the process of developing skills. Therefore, the minimum duration of the certification course is 21 days. Classes are usually held once a month on weekends and last for 8 months.

Practical benefits

NLP programming can help you in various areas of life. For example, when starting a conversation, people often do not realize what they want to get as a result of it. Many problems are quite easy to avoid if you constantly remember the purpose of communication. This will prevent you from making offensive mistakes. What other NLP rules can be noted for every day? Before you start a conversation, think about why you need it, what your goal is, whether the interlocutor understands your position, what arguments he may have. People sometimes get so carried away by the process of the dispute that they can forget about everything, including the possible consequences. The ability to control emotions and stop in time is another useful skill that NLP programming provides.

Using the anchoring technique

To manage your emotional state, you can use a technique called “anchoring.” With its help, you can prepare in advance for a difficult and unpleasant conversation, while maintaining a positive state. You will also learn to change automatic reactions to factors that irritate you using NLP. quite simple, but it is better to master anchoring in training or in life, and not theoretically. In writing, what could be easily demonstrated may cause misunderstandings and doubts.

Anchoring is the creation of a connection between a certain event and what is associated with it. The ship is held motionless by an anchor. In the same way, it causes a corresponding connection - the physical or emotional state of a person changes, or we remember some past situation by association. This NLP rule works well.

Unconscious anchors, for example, can be “happy” clothes, the smell of your favorite perfume, photographs, etc. To create an anchor for a calm and positive state, you can, for example, use a photograph of a place where you were once happy. You can also use special words or gestures that can be repeated mentally in difficult times. These are, for example, the words: “I am calm.” It is important that they do not contain negation or double meanings. You will practice all these and many other techniques in NLP training. This practice has already helped many people from all over the world.

NLP today

By developing and integrating the most effective technologies and models, NLP is now widely used in learning, communication, creativity, art, business, therapy and organizational consulting, that is, wherever the resources of human behavior and thinking are most effectively used. NLP today is primarily a methodology that allows us to successfully serve various areas of human progress.

Currently, NLP has become widespread in most countries. The best of it is used by many in practice, so the need for training has arisen. In the USA, for example, there are about 100 organizations associated with it, in Germany - about 70 large institutes and centers engaged in development and research based on it in various fields. This direction of psychology came to Russia recently and is not yet part of formal education. However, NLP training is carried out as a special course in practical psychology in many institutes and universities. NLP today is available to a greater extent in our country in educational centers, as well as in companies that use it (NLP consulting).

NLP: books

Of course, one of the most popular books is “From Frogs to Princes” (R. Bandler, D. Grinder). It is recommended for everyone, especially good in the initial stages of learning. Another useful book is “The Mastery of Communication” (A. Lyubimov). Everything is explained in an accessible and understandable way: sorting gates, tuning, meta-message and other NLP terms. This book will be enough to teach the basics of this area. Other works may also be useful to you. In the book by Gorin S.A. "Have you tried hypnosis?" you will find excellent descriptions of Ericksonian hypnosis and trance induction techniques. The book “NLP for Happy Love” is also very popular today. Its author is Eva Berger. “NLP for Happy Love” will be useful for those who want to find a soul mate and live happily ever after.

How long does it take to learn Neuro Linguistic Programming? I warn you in advance that I prefer to use the word “psycholinguistics.” I don't like the term "neurolinguistics". “Neuro” is a Latin word, “lingvos” is a Greek word. It turns out “nerves-language-programming”. And the constituent parts of the word must belong to the same language level! “Psyche” in Greek means soul, “lingvos” means language. Psycholinguistics is the language of the soul.

So how long does it take to study psycholinguistics? The NLP Institute believes that five years is generally enough. The Training Institute is confident that NLP can be learned in a year and a half, of course, with a basic education. The St. Petersburg Institute of Psychoanalysis believes that nine months is enough to master the NLP technique. I can say for sure that it is enough to spend forty minutes to study NLP. Why doesn't anyone offer such techniques?

Imagine that only stupid people study mathematics as a science. With one single goal - to prove that they are intelligent beings. What would mathematics become? We see the result in the example of psychology. At the same time, esoteric psychopractices - that is, psychopractices associated with suggestion - cannot find a way out of the impasse for one simple reason: they have become too esoteric.

Imagine that only a select few can study physics, while everyone else is prohibited from doing so. After some time, huge crowds of believers would repeat after the clergy: “E equals em square! “Truly, a square!” Doesn't remind you of anything? This is what psychopractice has become. What real psychological impact can we talk about? What NLPists call NLP only works against the NLPists themselves.

I challenge you to learn psycholinguistics in forty minutes. From start to finish. Because everything else is the songs and dances of the peoples of the North. If we discard all the rubbish in the style of totalitarian sects - assigning each other the title of masters and so on, then psycholinguistics is just a set of techniques and management of the basic state.

In the “War Machine” program, I put on three movements and explain that after practicing them for two hours, you can cope with any master of sports or black belt holder if you encounter him: a) in an elevator; b) in the train vestibule; c) on the stairs; d) in a narrow corridor. And I'm not exaggerating at all. Of course, on the tatami, in the ring, or on the mat, you will immediately lose to a professional.

The same simple movements exist in NLP. In general, the gesture-look-word-strike system is universal. Having understood and practiced the proposed techniques, you will master them at the level of an NLP master. On occasion, you will roll this master “into a tube” and hide it somewhere.

Twelve tricks that work

Adjustment and management

Adjustment. To establish contact with your interlocutor, you begin to copy him in some way. For example, during a conversation, you try to get into the rhythm of his breathing: when he inhales, you pause, when he exhales, you speak.

What does this give? When your rhythm matches the breathing rhythm of the interlocutor, he begins to perceive your words as his own.

Why is it good to give yourself commands using your own voice recorded on the player?

For example, this was done in my extreme group for ADM - active dialogue meditation. The group members recorded on the player the questions they asked in their own voices: “Are your muscles?” and answered them themselves: “Strong as iron!” “Your will?” - “Solid as steel.” And so on.


Maintaining. And this technique also bypasses consciousness: we adapt to the emotional state of the interlocutor, and then begin to lead him. If our interlocutor smiles, a response smile appears on our face (adjustment). After a while, the smile disappears from our face, and the interlocutor becomes serious (leading). If a person frowns, we begin to talk seriously (adjustment), but during the conversation we gradually, gradually begin to smile. In response, the interlocutor begins to smile. This is leading.

Let's say you're talking to someone who's nervous. What is starting to happen to you? You also start to get excited. But you can also bring your interlocutor out of an excited state. It is enough to reproduce his excited state at the beginning of the conversation, and gradually reduce the rate of speech. Very soon your interlocutor will also lower his tone.

The person is in deep depression. And I put myself into a sad state and start the conversation as if I was depressed. Gradually I am moving myself from despondency to a normal energetic state. What will happen after some time? The person following me will move into the same energetic state. Getting rid of sadness.

Acting skills and the ability to play are very useful. Try to pretend to be drunk, for example, and gradually return to your normal state. Imagine that you are talking to a drunk. Here he is – he’s really had too much, and you’re just pretending to be drunk. He gets tongue-tied and you can barely move your tongue. He sways and you lose your balance. When talking with your interlocutor, you gradually get out of the image of a drunk. What will happen to the other side? The person will sober up for a while!

Breaking the stereotype

Rupture is a great technique. To begin with, I will give an example.


One company announced a tender for psychotraining. The secretary signed me up to participate in the competition along with twenty-four other applicants. I was twenty-third in a row. Before me, representatives of twenty-two companies told me what excellent training they provide. Was there any point in telling me about the training? Twenty-two people spoke in front of me, two more were waiting for their turn.

I went in and looked around. There is no general. The commercial director, the HR director, the administrative director, the technical director, and someone else are sitting. All are directors. Everyone looks at me. They are waiting for me, like the twenty-two previous speakers, to start speaking. I went to the table and sat down. They look at me, I look at them. They are silent and I am silent. We sit and remain silent. Thirty seconds, a minute. Finally, the commercial director coughed: say something already!

And I started: “What do you want from me? Do you want me to tell you now that I am the best coach in the world? So I already know this. If you don’t know about this, that’s your problem! In general, yes, I say. – I have everything planned until June! In June there may be time to conduct training with you. You know my assistant’s phone number, it was very nice to see everyone. All the best to you, goodbye." After that I get up and leave.


Do you think this is normal behavior for a coach? Of course not! What I've done? Broke the template! The two coaches behind me, like the previous twenty-two, gave stereotypical speeches. Blah blah blah, training program, blah blah blah. What do all these directors remember? Who do you think they started working with? The answer is obvious!


Various methods are used to break stereotypes. At one time I was in practice in a very famous psychiatric clinic. One of the patients suffered from depression with suicidal complexes. Head department asks: “Well, trainee, how will you work with her?”

Back then, in the early 1990s, everyone was obsessed with Ericksonian hypnosis and NLP. I answer: “Well, now I’ll put myself in the same state of depression. I’ll start talking to the patient and slowly pull myself out of this state. This woman will come out of depression after me.”

The doctor looked at me and said: “Look, trainee, how this is done for real.” Glasses on one ear, tie on the other. She runs in and shouts: “Girl, here’s a psycho from the violent ward who has escaped!” He tore an ax from a fire shield and killed five people! Runs here! Let's barricade the door! The depressant jumps up and, together with the doctor, begins to pull the bed over the door. Is there anything left of depression? Nothing at all.


What technique did the doctor use? Well, what kind of fire shield is there in the ward for violent people? There are such orderlies there that even if a patient had gotten hold of a Kalashnikov assault rifle somewhere, they would have taken the weapon away from him and tied it up. You know how the famous joke goes: “How’s the collar? Good collar. Are the sleeves and hangers good? Are the sleeves too big? Now we’ll tie them carefully behind our backs.” This is already a model of behavior of the doctor on duty in relation to the patient, who will now never be angry with him.

This is what breaking the stereotype is.

Choice without choice

What is “choice without choice”? Free democratic choice from one and only option.

For example, I say: “You and I have two options. You and I can vote either for a not very good politician, but a competent businessman, or for a criminal. Who do you want to see as your deputy? “Probably politics,” the overwhelming majority will answer unequivocally.

Thus, the essence of this technique is to narrow the field of choice. Let's say you need to make an appointment for tomorrow, but your interlocutor has no time. If you give this person the opportunity to decide whether he has time or not, you can’t count on a meeting. So you don't even ask if he'll be free tomorrow, it's assumed by default. But you must leave the person the appearance of a choice: “Which half of the day is less busy for you - the first or second?” That's all.

If your child doesn't want to go to bed, how can you get him to go to bed? You can stomp your feet and shout: “Go to bed, go to bed, go to bed!” Or you can say it differently: “Are you going to go to bed right away, or will you put away the toys first?” He faces a choice: either clean and go to bed, or go straight to bed. The child chooses for himself, you do not impose anything on him.

The Enlightened Teacher with the rank of Guard Captain, the greatest psychotherapist of all times, wonderfully proposed “choice without choice.” He said: “How long will it take you to have everything ready in two hours?”

Disarming (preemptive action)

The fifth technique is proactive action. What is disarming? For example, a manager wants to fire you, and you tell him: “I understand that it would probably be wisest to fire an employee like me. But I would like to do my best and correct the mistakes I have made.”

After this, what is the point of the boss saying: “I want to fire you”? None. You use the same technique when, for example, you say: “I, of course, understand that you should have arrested me for this violation. But you are a kind, humane person.” And so on.

Another example: you need a very important person to make an appointment with you. So you pick up the phone and call: “Hello, my name is so-and-so, I want to see you!” Who are you to an important person? Nobody can call you. Why do you want to meet her? She's incredibly busy! How many people want to see her?! Therefore, you should say: “I understand that you are a very busy person and your day is scheduled to the minute!” And immediately turn on “you and I are of the same blood!”: “But I will adjust my schedule to suit you.” All! The meeting is practically guaranteed. At least you will be listened to. What is the point of saying “I’m very busy” after this? Already said this. Voiced!

Camouflaged Strike

This technique is a little similar to the previous one. Its essence is that you convey what you really want to say to some third party, relieving yourself of responsibility for the words spoken.

For example, when one of my colleagues or assistants fails to cope with their task, I say: “Some rude, ill-mannered guy would call you an asshole. But I, as a correct and well-mannered person, can only say that you did not cope well with the assigned task.” What I've done? I called things by their proper names, but not on my own behalf, but referring to the words of some rude, ill-mannered type.

Agree, this technique opens up very wide possibilities.

Answer to an unasked question

What is an unasked question? Of course, you can ask me what an unasked question is and I will tell you. What did I say? "Of course you can ask me." Of course, you may have a question, how can you master all this? I will explain to you how you can master this in a short time. What am I doing? I ask myself a question for you. And I answer it myself.


Another story about an Enlightened Teacher with the rank of Guard Captain. One day he said: “Comrade cadets, for the upcoming holiday, formation and song review, you and I will engage in drill training. Some cadets, for example cadet Shlakhter, may, of course, ask, “What the hell do reconnaissance officers need drill training?” - “No, comrade captain, good drill training is necessary for scouts in order to secretly penetrate into the enemy’s position in formation and with song.”


That is, what was the Enlightened Teacher trying to do? Use cadet Schlachter and answer a question he didn’t ask in order to carry out some explanatory work. What did cadet Schlachter do? He himself answered the unasked question, and mocked the officer.

Reduction to the Absurd

The next three techniques belong to the section of psychological aikido. I don't understand well what aikido is. In my opinion, this is a misunderstood sambo. Aikido adherents, of course, will not agree with me, because they are endowed with a higher wisdom unknown to me.

What is the basic principle of Aikido? The principle of striking technique is hard striking and blocking tactics. Aikido or sambo is about grabbing an opponent and engaging him in movement. Any blow completed ends in a fall. Any thought taken to the point of absurdity ends in the fall of the interlocutor, a mental fall. In the previous example, cadet Schlachter, answering an unasked question, used exactly this technique. “You, of course, can ask me, what does reduction to the absurd mean? If I go into explanations, our training will turn into a completely meaningless evening of questions and answers.” Do you understand? I have brought the situation to the point of absurdity when I am asked to clarify certain concepts.


The company's employees approached the boss with a request to establish two short breaks. That is, so that, in addition to lunch, they have one small ten-minute break in the first half of the day and a ten-minute break in the afternoon. Is this a reasonable request? I guess, yes.

For some reason the manager did not want to agree, and he said: “A very good idea. I make a counter proposal - let's take breaks every hour. And we will go to work only on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, and Tuesday and Thursday will be a short day.”

What did he do? He brought the statements of his subordinates to the point of absurdity. What did the boss achieve? The request turned into an absurdity and the issue was not discussed anymore.


How to bring any statement to the point of absurdity? For example: “You don’t want me to attend training? Well then, at the same time, I refuse to participate in a number of events that you like. Why? And not to leave the house at all.” Any thought can be brought to the point of absurdity, and the interlocutor will be forced to discard it. Although initially it may have contained the right idea.

Switching attention

You ask me a question: “Why are you telling us about psycholinguistics?” To this I answer: “Psycholinguistics is a very important thing! But the psychological training system includes a number of parameters. One of them, for example, is comprehensive psychological training in the form of meditative training.” And you start listening to what I say about meditation training, forgetting about psycholinguistics.

The essence of this technique is that you shift the emphasis from the main issue to a secondary one. For example, a person says: “There was just a crime here on the corner. The robbers have not yet managed to escape.” “Who exactly are you?” - “Yes, I actually saw it, there was just a robber...” - “Please show your documents...”

What was it? Switching attention. The reverse scheme is also possible. “So, citizen, would you please have your documents?” - “What, documents? I'm just looking for you. You don't know, over there at the intersection two people attacked a third. Can't you see? I was just running towards you, one of the policemen here thought, come and look.” They go to look, and you calmly move on. What did you do? We switched our attention. Simple scheme. Shifting attention from the main issue to a secondary one.

Replacing motivational parameters

By forcing your interlocutor to justify himself, you obviously put him in a losing position. If you want to suppress a person, make him justify himself. Face the need to explain your actions!

Has anyone ever answered the questions of an investigator or interrogator? These are very unpleasant people. As one of them said, “Vadim Vadimych, we must interrogate you as a witness. For now as a witness!” Why is it so difficult and unpleasant to answer questions from an investigator or interrogator? Because you have to explain your behavior! And you have nowhere to escape from this! You still have to give an explanation. Explain your actions in words, explain your actions.

The only worthy answer: “According to Article fifty-one of the Constitution of the Russian Federation, I refuse to testify!” And call a lawyer. Let the investigator bring charges! And answer all questions with exactly this pre-prepared phrase. Article fifty-one of the Constitution of the Russian Federation. So you refuse to make excuses. Well, that's it, a little legal advice. I hope it won't be useful.

What technique is used in this case? Replacing the motivational parameter. If they try to force you to make excuses, in response force the person to explain his actions.


A man is late for a meeting of the academic council of a university. The deputy chairman says to the latecomer: “Vadim Vadimovich, being late for the academic council means showing disrespect for him!” To which the latecomer turns around and replies: “Showing disrespect for the academic council means showing up to a meeting in a sweater and jeans! As a mechanic at the Red Phallus plant. But stopping home to change your shirt and tie, being fifteen minutes late, means showing not only respect, but deference to the academic council!”

The deputy chairman begins to make excuses in a tongue-tied manner, saying that today there are no outsiders on the council, and from his point of view, a sweater and jeans are quite acceptable. To which the latecomer asks the question: “Why are you making excuses all the time?” The deputy chairman assures those present that he did not even think of making excuses! The latecomer asks again: “Why are you so nervous?” The deputy chairman tries to explain that he is absolutely calm. Then the latecomer asks: “What, is this a sore subject for you? Do you want to talk about it?”

After some time, the deputy chairman finds himself on the verge of hysterics. But the man simply forced him to justify himself.


Another example, especially for brothers of the same sex. For example, men, such a traditional question: “Where have you been?!” Who hasn't heard it before? If you start explaining that, being out of range of the telephone network, you punctured your car tire, then the more you make excuses, the more you will provoke what? Further questions! If you answer: “I was where I was much better than here. If you’re indignant, I’ll go there again!”, then you’ll get rid of the need to make excuses. Yes? Or you can say so – “I was there where there was no such disgrace in the house. Where this isn’t lying around, where that isn’t lying around!” And so on. Thereby forcing the individual to make excuses.

Hidden psychological programming

The eleventh technique is hidden psychoprogramming. What it is?

Imagine hiring a new employee. The boss says to the newcomer: “Currently, YOU are among our employees and you understand that each of us MUST meet the requirements and criteria placed on him. We all, one way or another, have to OBEY the requirements and regulations. It seems to me that this is not difficult at all.”

What did the boss actually say? "You must obey me." If this is repeated five times, the attitude will be fixed in the employee’s subconscious. Keywords can be highlighted by voice, head movement, or gesture. Or with an additional sound, for example, lightly tapping your hand on the table. Or repeat.

Suggestion does not have to be verbal. It can also be done using written text. If you highlight some letters or words in a text in a special font, they will form a separate meaning apart from consciousness.

Psycholinguistics is focused on encouraging actions that bypass consciousness. That is, everything is aimed at bypassing consciousness, avoiding the participation of thinking. Any action that is performed bypassing consciousness is performed unambiguously and successfully. An action in which consciousness is involved is performed unsuccessfully and ambiguously.

What is the twenty-fifth frame technique based on? On the fact that the human brain perceives twenty-four frames per second. Because if you are watching a movie and see an advertisement for ten seconds: “You are thirsty, drink Coca-Cola!”, you will think, “Why am I thirsty? I don't want to drink! And if I want, I’d rather drink tea or coffee. I won’t drink this poison, sorry, drink!”

If the same advertising sign lit up for one twenty-fifth of a second, you didn’t even have time to read it, but the call was perceived by the subconscious. And it is devoid of criticism. Therefore, when you really want to drink, you will choose Coca-Cola out of all the drinks, explaining to yourself: “Actually, I haven’t drunk Coca-Cola for a long time. Of course, I know that this is poison that you should not drink. And, in general, I didn’t want to drink. But suddenly I wanted to drink Coca-Cola.” Do you understand?! You will drag an explanation towards you.

By the way, keep in mind that you cannot teach in this way, you can only influence the subconscious in a primitive way.


Once, during the election campaign, a leaflet was issued about one of the candidates, disgracing his honor and dignity. It succinctly explained what a person is like. Not a word of truth, but “written with a pen” on a piece of paper. Naturally, the man was outraged.

And then another candidate released a leaflet called “Dirt and filth must not pass.” It read: “Yesterday, unknown persons issued a leaflet discrediting the honor and dignity of candidate such and such. I believe that it is unacceptable to use such technologies in the election campaign. Colleagues, let's fight honestly. The candidate for deputy is so-and-so.”

It seems that everything is correct, but... But in the text, the words “dirt and abomination ... of candidate such and such” were slightly highlighted in the font. And every voter, reading this leaflet, was filled with an inexplicable disgust for the candidate with whom something bad is associated.

Stereotypical action, or the principle of three “yes”

What is the essence of the twelfth technique? In action programming. A person who says “yes” three times will say “yes” the fourth time.

The gypsy method is based on this. Give me some small money, I’ll tell you everything that happened, what will happen, and what will never happen. Give me a little money, don’t mind it. Give me some big money, I’ll tell you about all the secrets of your universe, and give me more. It is very difficult for a person who has done something once to stop.

For example, they doubled the price of gasoline! Where it leads? To some kind of protest. Yes? Fine. What if they increased the price of gasoline by ten percent?! Well, bad! But what to do!? Then twenty percent. Also bad. But okay! Then another sixty. Well, nothing has changed! Why?

Because a person who has taken a humiliating pose three times will take it the fourth time. Get at least a small concession! And in the future, the person will take steps towards you much faster. Reward him in some way for his concession. For example, a gift at a gas station. Everyone who fills up ten liters of more expensive gasoline receives instructions on how to use it as a gift. Or something else. At least Chinese flavoring. Which will give you a headache later. Just? Very simple! According to the principle of “three yeses”.

There is nothing more in NLP, everything else is verbiage.

Games on complexes

Inferiority complex

The first strongest complex is my favorite complex, which I really like to play with - the inferiority complex. How to manage it? By proving his usefulness, a person can work miracles.


I have one very good friend, nicknamed Lieutenant Rzhevsky (his surname sounds similar). The lieutenant is wildly popular among women, but to outsiders it is absolutely inexplicable. The essence of his method is simple. When communicating with a woman, Rzhevsky begins to admire some other individual. If the lady with whom he communicates is short, he begins to admire some tall beauty. If the lady is tall, he admires the miniature creature. If a lady tends to be overweight, he admires a thin woman. If the lady is thin, he admires the lady with chic curves. What is the Lieutenant striving for? He forces his lady to prove that the type she personifies is no worse, and even better. He doesn’t have to prove anything, and the lady simply has to surpass her rival.

His home is also always clean and tidy, although Rzhevsky is a rare slob. As soon as he invites some lady to his place, the Lieutenant begins to talk at length about the decline of morals these days, about the fact that a woman, if, of course, she is a real woman, cannot be in a pigsty. And this poor creature, in order to prove its usefulness and authenticity, grabs a mop, a broom and begins to clean up the apartment.

Complex "weak"

Also a very strong complex.

How does he work? You ask the person: “Can you really solve these issues, or should you look for your manager?” “No, of course, me, only me!”

What have you done? You have questioned a person’s rank, and therefore his self-esteem, which largely depends on how others perceive him. And, of course, trying to prove to you and to himself that his position is high and his opportunities are great, he will do much more than could be obtained as a result of a simple request.

Using this complex you can achieve a lot. It is enough to set a task and doubt the possibility of its implementation. Everyone probably knows the film “The Man from the Boulevard des Capucines.” Remember the amazing scene: “Did you say something, sir?” - “No, I didn’t say anything” - “How? Don't you have anything to tell me? A real man always has something to say, if, of course, he is a real man.”

The man wanted to sit quietly and quietly in the saloon, but he was taken lightly. A wonderful way to influence people's behavior.

Guilt complex

Another favorite complex of mine is the guilt complex. Or, as I call it, “Well, how could you?” Who has been using it since our childhood? Parents. “We are for you, and you!” I remember that in response, as a child, I stomped my feet and shouted: “I didn’t ask you!” Indeed, you did not ask your parents to give birth to you.

If they did this, it was not because of your numerous requests and applications, but for completely different reasons. Maybe the evening show at the cinema was canceled that day.

You were not asked if you wanted to come into this world. And you didn't ask your parents to work for you from morning to evening. By the way, it is still unknown what is better for the formation of personality - the stifling captivity of parental love or a boarding school. This is my point of view. Perhaps, due to my ignorance, I do not know the answer to this question. Ask it to someone else.

What are all the religions of the world based on? On a guilt complex. Everything that: a) is pleasant, b) useful, c) helps something, is declared heresy.

I can say for sure that 100 grams of pure alcohol or vodka, drunk no more than once every 48 hours, has never caused harm to anyone. But in one of the world's religions, alcohol consumption is outlawed.

On the other hand, we can say that periodic communication with the opposite sex strengthens the nervous system, improves well-being and increases self-esteem. This is true for both men and women. But in one of the world’s religions, let’s not say which one, intimate communication between human individuals of different sexes is vetoed. Unlike the other two most widespread religions in the world.


One smart book says that when you lie down with your wives, you do acts as pleasing to the Almighty as prayer (this is where there may be several wives). Another very clever book says that if you feel lust, rush to your wife and satisfy it there. I mean the Talmud.

What does the third teaching tell us? “Everyone who looks at a woman lustfully commits adultery in his heart.” I will add: and the one who looks without lust is a complete freak. This is my opinion.


So, if everything is declared sin, can any sin be made up for? In two religions, repentance is prescribed only to the Almighty.

In the third religion, it is customary to repent before a clergyman and make an offering to a religious institution in order to atone for one’s, imaginary, of course, guilt. If the Almighty did not want you to have pleasure, He would not have given you reproductive organs. We would all share by budding. But since the Almighty did otherwise, that was his plan.

What does the First Commandment say? Be fruitful and multiply.

In the Second: “I am thy God, and thou shalt have no other gods.” Old Testament, Bible.

If we take the “Moral Code of the Builder of Communism,” we will find in it many provisions designed to “turn on” the guilt complex. And no matter what you take, the guilt complex is stimulated everywhere.

Why are you giving alms? Not because you feel sorry for the poor beggars. What does "sorry" mean? You feel guilty before them. For what? Because, as you think, they have no money, and you have some money, because they are sick, and you are healthy. But why should you feel guilty? Why do you give to beggars on the streets? Would you really help them with a small tip? No. Why are you doing this? You hope to make amends to them. Why do they give alms to the elderly? This way you make amends to your parents. Why serve it to children? You are making amends to your children. Why serve to disabled people?


Let me give you an example. Moscow, Turgenevskaya metro station. A legless man sits on the floor. On his head is a blue beret, a vest, and a landing uniform. If a man who once wore a military uniform walks by, will he give something to a disabled person? Well, of course. The man came back from the war having lost a limb, but the pitcher was generally healthy. He feels guilty and will give something to the legless man. A man approaches who has never worn a military uniform. Will he give you anything? Surely. After all, the man fought for the passerby too. A woman passes by whose husband or son wore or is wearing a military uniform. Of course he will. The woman who managed to buy a military ID for her son will also, of course, give him something. A win-win.

I approached this comrade and saw on his chest a medal, as it later turned out, “For the Defense of Sevastopol” in 1856. I had an advance with me, a large sum. I tell the disabled person: “I’ll give you all this money now if you tell me what you jumped with.” He is silent. I ask: “What kind of parachute?” He is silent. “Now if you don’t tell me now, I won’t look at your injury and will perform a series of physical actions.”

Then two policemen come up to me: “So, citizen, what’s the matter? Show your documents." And I always carry with me a pack of different documents, all genuine, for different occasions. And then I took out a certificate of a public organization - an association of reserve soldiers of one of the military branches. The policeman looked and said: “Here you are, citizen, going somewhere. Move on."


Do you understand what all this is built on, what it is? This is a way to stimulate a guilt complex in people, take it out and use it to your advantage.

Perhaps some of you have a friend who constantly asks for small favors? And you provide them to him. It doesn’t cost you anything, but it will be useful for him. And so he constantly borrows either fifty dollars or a hundred from you. How did he hook you? I pulled out some kind of guilt complex.

Have you ever had the feeling that it’s high time for you to give the command to a person of the opposite sex: “Get your things out.” But you feel sorry for this individual. Well, it will be lost without you. Nothing like this. Nobody will disappear anywhere.

Very often, a person would have left his worthless, boring “half” long ago, and everyone would have found another. Perhaps not “half”, but “two-thirds”. But it’s spinning in my head: “It’s a pity, it’s impossible to leave, it will disappear without me.” I really like the movie “That Same Munchausen.” Remember the scene when the lawyer, played by A. Abdulov, says about the main character: “He left his wife and child.” In response: “He is not a child, he is an officer!” - “He left his wife with an officer!”

You are being used with a guilt complex!

Complex “following the rules”

And another complex is following the rules.

Rules are made up that you supposedly must adhere to. And it doesn’t matter who and when they were invented.

For example, paid parking. Is there a law that says we have to pay for parking? There is no such law. There is some kind of regulatory act that the local mayor's office came up with. It would be better if it were printed on toilet paper so that it could be used for its intended purpose. In our city they also tried to do this. But I always said: “I don’t recognize this law. What do I care about someone's fantasies? You made up your own rules, and I follow mine.” I'm not asking you to imitate me, but that's what I usually do.

The rules prescribe a certain sequence of actions.

As a child, there was a rule “we don’t fight with our legs,” and we fought only with our hands. And who won? The one who kicks first. And then you can be indignant as much as you like that he was wrong.

Rules are made for the convenience of those who will have the opportunity to break them. Therefore, from birth, all of us are terrorized with the requirement to show high moral qualities: we must be honest, we must follow these, what’s their name, excuse the expression, commandments, “thou shalt not kill,” “thou shalt not steal,” and, God forbid, “thou shalt not commit adultery.” So that everyone is programmed in a certain way, and someone - who can afford it - will enjoy unlimited freedom.


I have one friend, I always call him a fraudster (by the way, Finek graduated with a PhD in Economics). He was engaged in the creation of financial pyramids - a fraudster in its purest form. I know that he only reads books on economics and sometimes special literature on psychology. But one day I found him with a volume of Dostoevsky. "What's happened? Why do you read such books?” The friend replies: “What people, what people!” - “What are they?” And I hear in response: “How great it would be to work with them!” Do you understand why morality is needed? So that not a single monkey would even think of extending its paw to the banana, and then you will get it. So that everyone helps each other, and then you won’t have to show your concern. Let them love their neighbors, let them hurt those in their midst. And you will use these individuals to your advantage.


The set of rules consists of two positions. The first is you must, the second is you must. (I always answer: “To whom I owe, I forgive everyone.”) This means that you must follow a certain pattern of behavior. A man, by definition, must do such and such things - 35 positions in total. A woman should, by definition, act this way and not otherwise.

If you manage to create such a stereotype, you have the opportunity to use other people. But they definitely have to believe you. This is the motto of all my training programs - for it to work, you have to believe! A motto taken from a horror movie. A man sees a vampire in front of him, knows that he should be afraid of Christian paraphernalia, removes a crucifix from the wall and uses it to shield himself from the vampire. The vampire smiles, takes the cross from him, hangs it in its original place and tells him: “For this to work, you have to believe.” And the same vampire shrinks in horror from the priest, who comes at him with a cross in his hand. The priest believes in God. Faith works miracles.

Parable about pigs and millet

They threw beads in front of the pigs and were indignant: here are the pigs, we are throwing beads in front of them, but they don’t care!

And the pigs looked and thought: what idiots - they throw beads straight into the dirt, it would be better to throw millet!

But they were silent - pigs, after all.

* * *

Morality

Don't throw pearls before swine.

Mark the millet.

“Damn, David Blaine! How did he do this?!” — I thought about a simple street scammer who showed me real street magic. Although this was not magic at all, but just a manipulation of my consciousness, as a result of which I was left without the 1,000 rubles I had earned an hour ago. Everything happened so quickly that I spent the whole day remembering and analyzing all his actions, which were based on the simplest NLP techniques. Of course, I knew about neurolinguistic programming of the brain, but only to fall for the bait myself. It’s even funny to remember this! Therefore, I would like to talk more about NLP and give some cool techniques that will allow, so to speak, to influence people in the situation we need.

What is NLP?

NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) is a popular area of ​​practical psychology that was founded in the 60s of the 20th century. The founders of NLP are linguistics professor John Grinder and student Richard Bandler from the University of California. For a long time they studied many of the works of famous psychotherapists, conducted various seminars and communicated with their patients. As a result, they managed to separate neurolinguistic programming from psychology and gelstatt therapy.

NLP this is a complex of psychotechnics, as well as verbal and non-verbal techniques that can « bring in » into a person’s brain with certain information in order to change his thinking and behavior. Neurolinguistic programming is based on working with the human consciousness.

Now I’ll tell you what NLP is capable of. Believe me, very, very much!

NLP allows a person to completely control himself: his body, physical condition and health, his thoughts, emotions, feelings, fears and prejudices. A person is able to regulate his weight, blood pressure, body temperature, heartbeat, and general well-being. With the help of NLP techniques, you can induce a feeling of joy in yourself and easily get rid of any negative experiences.

NLP allows you to manipulate other people. Fall in love with yourself, fall out of love. To win over anyone, to come to an agreement even with the most intractable person. Get the answer you need. Successfully negotiate, gain sympathy from the boss, and so on.

NLP gives a new perspective on problems, allowing you not only to solve them in the easiest and fastest way, but also to derive maximum benefit from it.

NLP helps you achieve your goals in life faster, which is very important if you are developing yourself as an individual. And it doesn’t matter whether you want to get rich, buy real estate abroad, get married or lose weight. Any goal becomes closer and more accessible if you use NLP techniques.

I think you've already developed an interest in neuro-linguistic programming! And even if you don’t study psychology, you can still find a solution to apply it to your personal issue that has been tormenting you for so long or a problem that you would like to solve once and for all.

Where can NLP techniques be used?

NLP was originally used to treat various phobias and mental disorders. The results of treatment of patients were positive in a large percentage of cases. When it became clear that NLP techniques are very effective, they began to be used in a variety of areas.

Sales— almost all sales trainings have NLP techniques in their arsenal; when planning, when setting tasks, during psychological preparation for a visit and during the visit, knowledge of NLP can be extremely useful.

Negotiation— knowledge of NLP is essential for negotiating, for understanding the client and better adapting to him, for manipulation and counter-manipulation, for working with one’s condition, for identifying the client’s decision-making strategy.

Communication, psychotherapy, goal setting, modeling- these are the constituent parts of NLP, part of this knowledge deals with communications and their effectiveness (rapport, adjustment, maintenance, calibration)

Psychotherapeutic part is a large arsenal of therapeutic techniques (“Swing”, “Collapse of Anchors”, “Creating a Resource State”, “Rapid Treatment of Phobias”, “Technique for Treating Allergies”, “Six-Step Reframing”, “Contract of Parts”, “Re-imprinting” and more) many other)

In setting goals and working with them, we are helped by such sections of NLP as Well Formed Result (HFR), TOTE, SCORE (in psychological counseling, understanding the client’s goal and ways to achieve it), neurological levels, time line, mission.

Modeling- This is the basis of NLP. NLP grew out of modeling and all its knowledge emerged from modeling the behavioral strategies of brilliant people.

Public speaking- working with your condition. group calibration, controlled spontaneity, “Chamomile” technique, spatial anchoring, working with voice, using various predicates.

Acting— one of the basic presuppositions of NLP says: “mind and body are parts of one cybernetic system.” This means that when our thoughts change, our emotions change, and our body clearly reacts to these changes and, conversely, changes in body position and posture change our emotions. Many acting schools are based on this.

Education- modeling is one of the ways of learning. The use of successful strategies, beliefs, behavioral patterns, different approaches to achieving goals, systems thinking, different filters of perception, resource state increases the effectiveness of learning.

Sport— ideomotor, widely used in sports, adopted from NLP, working with the state, coaching-style training and much more.

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Coaching— almost all NLP tools are used in coaching (adjustment, guidance, calibration, coaching position, goal setting, neurological levels, three-positional perception, anchoring, time lines, all therapeutic techniques.)

Recruitment— knowledge of the candidate’s meta-program filters allows you to understand what type of activity he is more predisposed to, what motivates him better, how he will tolerate stress, whether he is a team player or a loner, how he makes decisions and what his values ​​are, and much more.

Interpersonal relationships- understanding basic presuppositions, they are also the beliefs of brilliant people, gives us the opportunity to better understand other people, to understand that we are all different and each of us needs a special approach, that a person is a system and that two people are even more so a system, knowing the systemic laws system interactions can be more easily understood.

Seduction— all seduction training trainers have completed NLP courses, all seduction techniques are based on NLP techniques. So why study the interpretation of the interpreted when you can turn to the original source.

Army- collection of information, interrogations, working with one’s condition, the “Drug of Choice” technique, used by special forces in many countries around the world.

Customs— information collection, calibration Yes/No, true/false, Ocular Access Signals

Intelligence service— information collection, recruitment patterns, calibration, working with your condition

Cinema- in many films, heroes use NLP techniques and skills or Ericksonian hypnosis, there are films that are directly dedicated to NLP, even if NLP is not called there ("Lie to Me", "The Manipulator", "Wild Orchid" and many others).

Self-development– formation of the necessary attitudes to achieve success in any area where you consider it necessary to “upgrade” yourself.

I will say this, NLP is not an easy “science” and requires a very serious approach. Even mastering the most basic techniques. But this still does not prevent neurolinguistic programming from being one of the most exciting and interesting areas in psychology. Thanks to the Internet, today there are a large number of options for where you can get knowledge about NLP.

Firstly, these are various sites where a sufficiently large number of informative articles have already been written to begin to understand this topic. Secondly, various seminars, webinars, trainings and courses conducted by highly qualified specialists in this field. And thirdly, these are, of course, books, which are the most convenient and popular way to start learning NLP.

There are a very large number of books themselves. Your eyes may wander at first. There are both for beginners, where basic skills are considered, and for “advanced” ones, with consideration of the application of NLP in any already defined area. Of course, I have chosen for you some of the best, most interesting and popular books on NLP that I myself have read. There are even two in my personal library.

I recommend the books that will now be discussed not only to those who are interested in NLP itself and its methods, but also to those who have decided to begin their path of self-development and are determined to improve their personal characteristics, improve their understanding of themselves and the people around them in life in general. So, let's go.

Bob Bodenhamer, Michael Hall "NLP Practitioner"

This book is a must read first. It is a collection of the most interesting materials on NLP. From this NLP book you will learn general information about neurolinguistic programming with a description of the methods and methods used by this “science”. I would like to note the large number of examples and exercises that promote effective learning of the material. I recommend it if you don’t even know what NLP is.

Joseph O'Connor NLP. A practical guide to achieving the desired results"

The author offers effective practical techniques for acquiring self-improvement and suggestion skills. You will gain knowledge that will allow you to better understand people and delve into the laws of communication. The information contained in D. O'Connor's practical guide can be applied in education, law, management, business, sports, etc.

R. Bandler, D. Grinder “From frogs to princes”

Recording of an introductory lecture on NLP, revised and adapted for reading. The materials of this three-day lecture, given by the authors in 1978, will help you get a general impression of the science of NLP, understand the basic mechanisms of influence and teach you how to gently and tactfully lead any person to the goal. NLP methods work even in cases where psychologists are powerless. The book is recommended to everyone who is interested in issues of communication between people: psychologists, sociologists, psychotherapists, etc.

Manly Hall "77 Best NLP Techniques"

The book by specialist Michael Hall contains the most effective NLP techniques. The use of the proposed methods will help in personal development, communication skills, and unlocking your own potential. Knowledge of NLP techniques is applicable to activities in business, education, psychology, sociology, and management. The book is intended for a wide range of readers and will be useful to every person striving for self-development. I highly recommend this book! She's just a bomb!

Anvar Bakirov “How to manage yourself and others using NLP”

This is my reference book! Written in the spirit of innovation with a lot of anecdotes. Therefore, there is no need to read this book seriously. From this book you will learn how to inspire trust at first sight, manage your own and other people’s emotions, benefit even from defeats, easily unravel the most advanced conflict situations, and lay all these “daily victories” in the foundation of one big building called LIFE SUCCESS. This book is distinguished by the effective structure of the material and the ease of its comprehension.

Sergey Gorin “NLP. Techniques in bulk"

A collection of fragments from NLP seminars conducted by the author from 1993 to 1995. Examples of successful interaction between a psychotherapist and patients allow non-specialists to understand the subject of study. The only condition is knowledge of basic NLP terms, without which understanding the text will be difficult. Many techniques from the arsenal of Valery Khmelevsky, one of the authorities of the Russian school of neurolinguistic programming, are described.

Harry Alder "NLP: The Art of Getting What You Want"


A topic worthy of attention is how a dream “works”. Some call it castles in the air, others encourage you to dream as much as possible. One thing is clear - we love to do this. And the author of the book clearly shows the mechanism of how dreams work. We are all a product of dreams. The quality of your dreams determines the quality of your life.

7 NLP techniques for manipulation and more

Most of us do not even realize that on a daily basis their consciousness is controlled by other stronger personalities, who are subject to many NLP techniques for manipulating people. It is interesting that each method of such hypnotic control is effective in itself, and it is difficult to imagine the power that arises if you combine several techniques at the same time. By the way, you need to know them not necessarily in order to control others, but for the purpose of possibly countering many criminal hypnotists, government officials, scammers, etc.

NLP technique 1. JOINING
This is the first technique that any NLP specialist starts with. When a stranger approaches, the human brain signals danger and tries to intuitively defend itself. It is unrealistic to suggest something to a wary person. To establish contact, you need to start copying your interlocutor in some way. Ways of adjustment: postures, gestures, gait and breathing, voice, etc. The scammer who deceived my friend and I started by adjusting his gait on the street and followed us to the beat for several minutes.

NLP technique 2.RAPPORT

Following the adjustment comes the building of trusting relationships. This is rapport. If the adjustment is high-quality, then the NLP-er and another person create a certain system, a common space of trust. Do you remember the infallible phrase from Kipling’s “Mowgli”: “You and I are of the same blood: you and I!” It is this formula that works in rapport. In this state, the threshold of criticality towards a person decreases, sympathy and unconscious trust arise. “It seems like we’ll find headphones there,” I said to Kostya, pointing to the store sign. “Guys, I’m a seller in this store, I can sell you headphones. Which ones do you want? - said the scammer.

NLP technique 3.3 YES

After rapport has been established, you can begin to manipulate and first you need to send the person into a light trance. This is done through 3 questions to which the person must answer with a positive YES. This technique is based on the law of inertia, i.e. the movement of thought accelerates in a certain direction. After a series of questions from the scammer for the 4th time, he said: “Guys, you have a thousand rubles. Do I urgently need to change the money and give it to the person?” "Yes, sure!" - I said and took out a bill.”

NLP technique 4. BREAKING THE PATTERN

A pattern break is an unexpected phrase or non-standard action performed in an ordinary situation. Breaking the pattern is easy. You choose a pattern of behavior that you are going to change and act in the opposite or other unexpected way. As an example, I can give a very real life situation. On one date, I told the girl that we would eat cake together at my place, but without sex. For her, this was still a break in the pattern. I understood that she already wanted me. There was sex, of course. The scammer also broke the template about his work. I don’t remember it verbatim.

NLP techniques 5. SWITCHING ATTENTION

The essence of this technique is simple. You divert a person's attention to another topic with a question or to another object of attention. Our brain or our vision can focus on one thing. You can do whatever you want with the rest of the area. This technique is often used by illusionists, and scammers too! “Guys, be careful with your money, there are drug addicts on the corner over there, stay away from them,” he told us, pointing his finger at the men 50 meters away from us, while changing bills.

NLP technique 6. MANAGEMENT

When the basic NLP techniques have been worked out, you can do whatever you want with a person. This is called "leading". Leadership is impossible without trust. Guys, go warm up to the store and look at the headphones. In the meantime, I'll go give the money. And off we went! Entering the store, we quickly came out of our trance. They looked at each other, realizing what had happened, and immediately rushed out into the street. It disappeared, just like our newly earned money. I will remember this story all my life. And I know for sure that NLP techniques work quickly and effectively. How many such approaches are needed to do everything so masterfully? Probably a lot. That's why they are scammers.

NLP technique 7. REFRAMING

One of my favorite techniques. It is very simple and gives a very cool result. This is no longer about manipulation, but about attitude to life. I use it when I realize that a negative situation is beginning to “suck the energy out of me.” Reframing is a technique that allows you to change your point of view, and therefore the perception of an event or subject. When a bad situation happens, I say: “My world takes care of me.” And I understand that this is the best option that can happen at the moment in my life. I took this technique from Reality Transurfing by V. Zeland.

So you have become acquainted with 7 effective NLP techniques that can be used every day. It will be better if you use the techniques for yourself, to develop your effectiveness in life. Good luck to you!