Where does the time go, or why do I not have time to do anything? Online with a psychologist. Why am I failing and what can I do about it? What to do if you fail

We don’t know about you, but for us this is a typical problem: you run around at work - important things, then and there, if you want coffee with a girlfriend - you remember, you also have to add a report, it’s not up to coffee, you sign up for a massage - it cancels, because you need to buy Czech shoes for your daughter for a concert (but I completely forgot), you run out to training - a friend’s call, you have now moved coffee :). And you are not some businesswoman with a million things to do, and, in general, you are responsible and really try, and not forgetful of some kind, but all the same - the eternal carousel of "managed-canceled-did not have time-forgotten." Why and how to deal with it?

We asked those who are better versed in this - in the BogushTime Time Management Studio. Coach Oksana Dolgova was not surprised by our problem. "I myself encountered it before. After the birth of my daughter, I went on maternity leave and thought - well, finally, sitting at home, I will do everything. I even decided to complete a course in the analysis of financial markets in parallel, so that I could work on the stock exchange in my free time from household chores." I learned, - says Oksana. But she didn't work for almost a day. Do you know why? It sounds trite - I did not know how to plan. Even though I thought I could. And now, whether I ask my clients or friends, or they plan their day, most of them say yes. However, my next question is: "Are you planning on paper?" - leads them to a dead end. The answer is traditional: "Why? It's all in my head." And I always say this frankly: if they don’t fix it, then you don’t plan.

Don't try to do everything - do what YOU need

Therefore, the first and main advice (for someone, perhaps hackneyed), but the only effective one is to write down your plans. Clearly, hourly. When you plan, you spend your time the way you want to, not the way it happened. When I first wrote down my intentions for the weekend, I was delighted and shocked at the same time. It seemed that the tasks for two days, but it turned out ... I wanted to cook dinner, clean the house, sort out and hide all the summer things, go to the salon for a manicure, go to cartoons with my daughter, finally read a book in the evening. It seemed that it was difficult to accomplish the plan in one day, but it turned out that 6:00 was enough for this, and, besides, I had time to rest. I just consistently determined everything - that is, I optimized my time.

Second. Don't try to do everything - do what YOU need. This is not about selfishness, but about your interests. Just determine for yourself what you want to have in a month, a year, two or five, and start acting accordingly today. Relatively speaking, if you want to go to the Carpathians for the Christmas holidays in a month, find time to look for a ticket, a ski suit, or whatever you need for such a vacation. If you want to buy a car in a year, already study the offers, nuances and possible side jobs. Do you understand? Every action you take today should be closely related to what you wish for yourself in the future. Just ask yourself - why am I doing this? There must be a goal, and this goal must warm you. Then there will always be time for it.

Never ranks planned tasks by importance, just write down everything in a "stream of consciousness"

Third. Calculate the time required for each task. Going for a manicure is not only painting your nails dry and having nice chats with the master, it is also a round trip. That is not an hour, but one and a half or two. And the purchase of products itself takes time both in the store, and on the road, and then putting everything bought on the shelves at home. If you expect to do 10 things that really need 27, and not 10:00, then don't be surprised later that you didn't even have half of it. Soberly weigh and calmly transfer it to other days, redistribute it for a whole week - but consciously, thoughtfully. Don't try to push yourself. To succeed in everything is to achieve your goals and enjoy your work.

Fourth. Never ranks scheduled tasks by importance, Just write down "stream of consciousness" whatever you want to do. Even "Saturday, 11.00 - go to the grocery store" or "Wednesday, 17.00 - take the baby to the circle." It is this routine that we do not take into account, and it is precisely because of it that we do not have time to complete other, more pleasant things. “Oh, I forgot, I still have to pick up tickets”, “Oh, today is my colleague’s birthday, I’ll have to skip fitness again” - familiar, right? We consider everyday affairs unimportant and neglect their planning, and they are one of the main chrono-radiators.

Fifth. Forget about papers and stickers pasted all over the apartment. It only creates chaos both around and in your head. Chairman in order to quickly and efficiently solve and it does not need to be overloaded with unnecessary trifles. For them, get a planner - with him and write down all your affairs, plans and various "do not forget." So it is easier to control and, accordingly, to keep up."

We don't know about you, but we'll try. Because Oksana's words were very striking: even if you do not live according to the plan, you still live according to the plan - only not yours, but someone else's. So maybe it's time to make sure that you plan, and not you? Then do whatever you want.

Hello! The ability to organize myself helped me to cope with such difficulties. Some pretty simple tips helped me! 1. Make a list. Do it the night before. Write down what you want to do tomorrow. So you will not forget anything and checking what has already been done, you will see improvements. On the right, note the approximate time it will take to complete each task. If you are preparing a list of what to do for the day, write everything down to the minute. And if you plan for a longer period - by the hour. Prepare this list in advance in the evening. Take a few minutes to prepare the list for the next day. Keep a calendar handy at all times. Once you have received a task or assignment, put it on the list.
When you review the things you have planned for tomorrow, rank them in order of importance using the letters A, B, C, and so on next to each entry. For some, the case is argued in the morning, while for others - in the afternoon or evening. Plan the most important things at the best time for you. Leave the less pleasant things in front of the more pleasant things on the list.
2. Keep track of time. If you are always late - you do everything on the run, because you do not have time to do anything - learn to keep track of time. That is, assign exactly how much time you need to cope with the task. Add a few more minutes just in case of a fire. Don't forget to factor in the time between appointments. Add travel time. You can't finish one meeting at 10:00 and be at 10:00 for another, even if she's in the next room, not to mention when you have to go to the other side of town. Give yourself enough time for this.
3. Pass it on to others. Often we try to do everything ourselves, although this is not always necessary. If someone goes to the post office, he can also grab what we need to send.
4. Do it in parts. Sometimes we do not start a new business, due to the fact that "the eyes are afraid." Why not do it piecemeal? Divide the big task into smaller ones. When we complete small tasks, we will see that the matter has moved off the ground, and we will be inspired to complete the next ones.
5. Consider distractions. During the working day there are always some distractions - phone calls, visitors, problems, mail. We want to work effectively, which includes collaborating with other people who are also under pressure. If we only think about productivity, we will be annoyed when others get in the way. So be mindful of distractions. Set aside time each day for the unexpected. And when they happen, you can participate in them, knowing that time allows.
6. Reward yourself. When you make a plan, plan for tense or concentrated activity for about an hour and a half. Don't forget to set aside time to prepare for work. After you have already started work and worked hard for an hour and a half, you may need a short break. If you work in an office, take a break, stretch once or twice and get distracted. If you work outside, get some food. Reward yourself for your work
I'm sure you'll be fine!!! Good luck to you!

Good afternoon. I was interested in your answer "Hello! The ability to organize myself helped me to cope with such difficulties. It helped me ..." to the question http://www.. Can I discuss this answer with you?

The crazy rhythm of life gives rise to an eternal lack of time, exhausting with its monotony. Work, kindergarten, shop, cooking, laundry, cleaning... The day flies by like an arrow, and in the morning again - work, home... We do not have time to do our favorite hobby, chat with the child, go to the theater. We forget to call our parents, meet friends, help relatives.

So in a hurry and bustle life rushes by. Looking back at the years that have flown by, we would give a lot for the opportunity to live them differently: rejoicing in every day, the smile of a child, the flight of a butterfly and the murmur of a stream. But what to do to stop the inexorable run of minutes? Take a moment, stop in the endless whirl of worries and slowly think: “Why do I always fail to do anything?”

A story about lost time

Realizing the scale of the problem, humanity has developed a scientific strategy to solve it. A whole area has appeared that studies ways to detect and eliminate lost hours - time management. Special techniques teach you to understand why you do not have time for anything, and save an irreplaceable resource - time. Initially, they were used only for work, but gradually the term expanded to other areas: household chores, leisure activities, self-education.

time eaters

In American firms, constant employee delays after work are the reason for dismissal. Employers consider it unacceptable that the staff does not have time to cope with their duties in the allotted hours.

If you're chronically pressed for time, it's most likely a lack of self-discipline and an inability to deal with multiple distractions. In time management, the factors that steal our cherished minutes are called chronophages. Let's name the active time eaters that prevent us from succeeding and succeeding in life.

• Internet

Problem number 1 of the computer age - dependence on all kinds of gadgets. Often, an Internet user, in addition to email, has several accounts on social networks, Instagram, forums, uses instant messengers and other applications. Such a person constantly looks through news feeds, letters and messages, puts endless likes and shares with friends the pictures and statuses he likes.

The insidiousness of the Internet chronophage is that it causes a strong addiction. Just look at the people on the subway. 90% of them are completely absorbed by smartphones. Meanwhile, if we analyze the value of the information being viewed, it can be safely assigned a garbage rating.

If you regularly update your pages and feel anxious when you don't see new posts, it's no wonder that you don't have time to do anything. It's time to take restrictive measures.

What to do to get rid of the habit that steals valuable time?

• Filter e-mail: unsubscribe from unnecessary mailings, send particularly annoying recipients to spam.
• Turn off sound notifications, check accounts no more than 1-2 times a day.
• Leave only those pages that are really important to you, delete the rest without regret.
• Control the duration of Internet communication, allocate a limited time period for it, gradually reducing it to a reasonable minimum.

In the freed minutes, do what gives you real pleasure. Chat in real life with old friends, go on a tour of your hometown, take up a creative hobby. Such activities allow you to appreciate the moments of being, to live here and now, and not to exist in virtual reality.

• Mess in the workplace

If your desk is cluttered with unnecessary papers, it will take a lot of time to find the necessary document. The same applies to folders on the computer. Do a general cleanup of your files. Organize them according to certain criteria: work, study, hobbies, correspondence, etc. Send documents that have lost their relevance to the trash. Clean your desktop of unnecessary shortcuts. Let it take a few hours, but the time savings will be many times greater.

In order to properly organize the workplace, special programs have been developed, for example, the Japanese 5C system. Her key points:

• sorting,
• keeping order,
• keeping clean,
• standardization,
• improvement.

By following these five rules, you will organize your workspace and learn how to use your time more efficiently. Smart Japanese have long found the answer to the question: "Why do people do nothing at work?". The proof is the excellence of Japanese technology and the highest standard of living in a country on the threshold of the 22nd century.

• The habit of doing everything at once

When a large number of tasks accumulate, many begin to do them at the same time. Acting in this way, it is impossible to do anything on time. If things are solved in an emergency mode, the quality of work suffers. There are miscalculations and errors, the elimination of which requires even more time and effort.

The way out of this situation is quite simple. Make a list of tasks every day, placing them in order of importance. Follow this chart even if you feel like starting from the last point. The most important principle of time management is not to leave big things for later. The traditional excuse is "I'll do it when there's enough time". In this way, you not only do not have time to do anything, but also accumulate a lot of unresolved issues. Deal with a global problem a little every day, and the result will definitely appear.

If you fail to complete your to-do list on time by removing all other obstacles, you may be overestimating the real possibilities. Another reason for chronic failure is the desire of the employer to dump an unbearable amount of work on one person, thus saving on staff salaries.

If the situation does not change, consider changing the organization. Otherwise, lack of time will develop into a problem of lack of health.

• Communication with colleagues and acquaintances

This problem is more for women. In most women's groups, it is considered almost the norm to have lengthy discussions on various topics: from cooking to politics. If you constantly discuss the affairs of colleagues, it is natural that you do not have time to do your own.

Do not distract during working hours on personal problems - this will have to be compensated with free time. Communication within reasonable limits is permissible, the main thing is that it does not interfere with the performance of work duties.

• Laziness

The most insidious time eater is able to disguise himself as others. It is laziness that makes you talk on the phone for hours, watch endless TV shows instead of doing useful work. Psychologists have found another hidden reason why a person does not have time to do anything - procrastination. This intricate term denotes the habit of constantly postponing urgent matters under various pretexts.

It differs from banal laziness in that the lazy person does not worry about doing nothing. Being in a state of procrastination, a person realizes the harm of idleness. Despite the absence of physical or mental effort, he does not rest, but expends internal energy.

How to figure out why I'm not doing well

To find your personal time sinks, start keeping track of your day. Make friends with an organizer and a timer. With their help, it is easy to do such a useful exercise.

Each hour, write down the specific fruits of your activities. We emphasize: not what you did, but concrete results. If you were in Odnoklassniki, write: "As a result, nothing." Have you prepared food? Write down: "Soup, meatballs, compote for three days."

After a few days, analyze your personal efficiency. How many hours a day are spent doing useful things, and how many are spent doing nothing? The conclusion is obvious. If you want to keep up with everything, cut classes with zero efficiency. Replace useless minutes and hours with constructive ones.

Depending on the goals that you are pursuing, spend them on obtaining useful skills, developing a business, raising children. Build a ladder for the long term and walk up it in small but sure steps. Thanks to the ability to manage time, you will have a chance to overcome the daily routine and say goodbye to the unenviable role of "squirrels in the wheel."

Test "Why am I not doing anything?"

Check your life for temporary leaks. Mark the problems that you face at least a couple of times a week.

• Meetings at work.
• Conversations with colleagues.
• Putting things off.
• Telephone conversations.
• Television.
• Surfing on the Internet.
• Reworking mistakes made at work.
• Conflicts with loved ones and children.
• Waiting in line, traffic jams, etc.
• Communication with virtual friends.
• Lack of inspiration.
• Smoke breaks.
• Long falling asleep or slow awakening.
• Frequent tea parties.
• Unexpected guests.

The results depend on the number of checked items:

• 0-4 - You are capable of becoming a time management guru.
• 5-7 - "Thieves of time" have already begun to steal minutes of your life.
• More than 7 - Caution! Chronophages follow you step by step. 10 minutes here, 15 - there, a sad result - 2-3 irretrievably lost hours.

Effective stop list

Having recognized personal temporary kidnappers, proceed to eliminate them. Your main allies are determination and the right motivation. Think about how amazingly you will spend 3-5 extra hours a week (almost a whole day a month!).

An example plan might look like this:

• Do not visit certain sites and pages (or cut the visiting time to a minimum).
• Limit telephone conversations to 5-7 minutes.
• Watch TV programs only by prior choice in the program.
• Partially entrust household chores to be done by relatives (determine which ones).
• Solve problems in order of their importance (do not take on several tasks at once).

It is important to indicate specific cases in the stop list, outline clear steps. Do not allow vague language, evasive phrases and unrealistic promises. To have time to live and work, properly prioritize. Otherwise, nothing can be done.

Compare yourself yesterday with the updated image of the future. Every day, remember to take at least a small step forward. As soon as life turns into chaos, look for chronophages, reorganize time. Gradually, the saved minutes will add up to the years of a new life, where there will be no place for the question: “Why do I not have time for anything?”

Once a passer-by, watching a woodcutter, noticed
that he cuts down a tree with a completely blunt axe.
Wanting to help, he offered to sharpen his axe,
because a sharp ax cuts better.
To which I received a simple answer:
« I have no time to sharpen the axe,
i need to cut».

If you are familiar with this condition, then let's figure out why it occurs and how it can be overcome.

Why do we flicker?

According to the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan, 24% of people are inclined to such a lifestyle - representatives of the so-called skin vector. They naturally have increased mobility, excellent response and the need for change. Their specific role is to obtain food and everything else, to preserve what they have obtained and to optimize what has already been created, saving time, energy and resources. Also a feature of the skinners is discipline, self-restraint and the logic of thinking.

Why does it happen that these disciplined people behave in such a disorganized way? Why do they flicker, and everything falls out of their hands? Because their innate properties were not realized due to, for example, the loss of a job, a divorce from a husband, or a crisis in the country. Any situations associated with material losses cause them super stress.

Is there a way out?

The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan helps in this with great efficiency, as evidenced by the many reviews of the trainees on this technique. You can read these reviews on the portal of system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan.

The article was written using materials

How to find more time for the most important things in life and work.

Jeff Hayden – consultant, writer, authorInc.com.

In the spirit of our topic, let's get straight to the point.

1. Let go of commitments made for the sake of vanity.

We are all doing something that indulges our egos rather than results. We're on some sort of committee because this item would look good on a resume. We teach at a local university, because we like the words - "I'm a teacher." Or my example - I write a weekly column for the local newspaper, mostly because I like it when people recognize me in the grocery store.

What you do for your ego is mostly a waste of time. Think about what you do primarily because it makes you look like a more important, smart, or fashionable person. If there is no other value in this activity, drop it. I'm dropping my weekly column.

2. Bookshelf of happiness.

I had a bunch of old Photoshop books on my bookshelf. Haven't taken them off the shelf in years - so I replaced them with family photos. This makes me feel happy. And when I'm happy, I work better. And you too.

3. Stop chasing the extra 10 percent.

I can say that I am a competitive person. When I start doing something, soon I want to do it better than others.

Okay, I'm too competitive. Let's take a bike ride. I am faster, more energetic, and in other ways better than the average person. But compared to the really fast riders, I'm nothing. This infuriates me. I ride more, I train more and I spend a lot of time on these trainings - and for what? To follow the fast racers for a couple more kilometers? To go up the hill 30% slower than them, not 40%?

These kinds of improvements have no real value. Of course, I will become more athletic, but at this stage the effect on my health will already be minimal. And I spend many hours cycling, which I would rather give to more important goals. Or at least spend more time with family - and this is the most important goal.

So this year I will keep myself in shape, but I will no longer chase high-speed racers: firstly, I will never catch up with them, and secondly, even if I catch up, it does not matter.

Think about what you are already doing well, but are working hard to do even better. Then weigh the effort and the result.

Sometimes it's enough to just do something well, especially if the extra 10% is completely disproportionate to the effort you put into it.

4. Practice the “no” answer.

Entrepreneurs work hard on “elevator presentations”—the ability to quickly present your project. They hone the wording and rehearse because it's an important skill. And it is just as important to be able to say “no” with dignity and tact.

Most of us say "yes" by default because we don't want to come across as rude, unfriendly, unhelpful. Alas, this means that by default we take on more than we can or want to do.

Maybe your answer will be as simple as the one I chose: “Sorry, but I don’t have time at all.” But whatever it is, rehearse it so it sounds natural. Then you won't say yes just because you think it's your duty; you will say yes only if you understand that it is right.

5. Give up "traditional" entertainment.

Remember what you are doing just because you have always done it. And think - is it time to stop? Here's a simple way to check: if you didn't start doing something while on vacation, then there's no reason to spend time doing it when you're not on vacation.

6. Set limits.

Deadlines and deadlines set limits, but usually in the wrong way. We instinctively adjust our work to them so that it takes as much time as we allow it to take. However, work tasks should only take as much time as they require - or as long as you decide they require.

Try this: make a decision to only spend 10 minutes a day on social media. Only 10.

On the first day, you will feel dissatisfied because you will not do everything that you "need" to do. On the second day, you will instinctively skip a few news streams because they are not that important. On the third day, you will re-prioritise and maybe use a tool like HootSuite to better organize yourself.

On the fifth day, you will realize that 10 minutes is a lot of time, and it is enough to do everything you really need. And the fact that you used to spend whole hours on this was only the result of self-deception.

Pick a task, set a time limit, and stick to it. Necessity, even artificially given, gives rise to creativity. I guarantee you will figure out how to make it work.

7. Reconsidermineeveningroutine.

The first thing you do every day is the most important action: it sets the tone for your entire day. Prepare for it in advance, in the evening. Make a list. Write reminders for yourself. Consider the information again. Program yourself to start in the morning with a sprint. A body put into ultra-fast mode tends to stay there.

8. Review your morning routine.

Make it so that you can get to the first morning task as quickly as possible. Imagine that you are an Olympic sprinter and your morning routine is like warming up before running. Do not waste time, do not cajole yourself, and do not take time for “yourself” (sleep is the very time when you are alone with yourself). Get up, wash, recharge - and go.

I usually end up at my desk 15 minutes after waking up, so there's not much room for improvement here. So I'll do something else: I usually check my mail first; now I will do at least one important thing before that.

Sprinters don't do relaxing laps before a race. And neither should we.

9. Review the problem you solve regularly.

Think of a task that is constantly repeated in your life. And take it apart. Make her decision faster. Or better quality. Choose an action that has become automatic and try hard to make it better.

Even if you save five minutes, you will win five minutes every time you take on this task.

10. Change your meal routine.

Eating can be time consuming, especially if you're eating out. You have to decide where to eat, what to eat, get there, place an order, wait… eh.

Choose one meal and make it more effective. Turn 30 or 60 minutes of inactivity into 10 minutes of recharging. Put something useful on your desktop - a salad or fruit. Eat a candy bar to replace lunch. Let your meal energize you. And then switch to a productive business. You will feel better. And you can do more.

11. Delegate the task to someone else.

I was brought up in the belief that if I can do the job myself, then I must do it myself. Starting next week, the boy next door will be mowing my lawn. He needs money. I need time.

12. Fix the thing you usually don't get.

I'm terrible at managing appointments and conversations on my calendar. Every time I decide that I will put them in the plans later, and then I forget. I spend too much time - often in a panic - trying to figure out where, what, when... All this wasted time. I make a commitment: I will immediately enter each meeting or conversation on the calendar at the moment when I agree on them - no matter what I do at that time.

You probably have at least one thing that is not working out well. My wife often takes the wrong car keys and (and I along with her) spend too much time looking. Maybe you forget to celebrate something. Maybe you put off replying to emails and then forget about them. Maybe you often find yourself unprepared for a meeting or a phone call. Whatever it is, fix it. You will save yourself time and nerves.

13. Rethink your way to work.

The time it takes you to get to work may be wasted. Make it productive. During this time, remember your affairs and think about how best to deal with them. Listen to a podcast or audiobook. Make a couple of calls - not those that require concentration or making important decisions, but simpler ones: check with someone, clarify how things are going, remind you of yourself, etc.

Learn a new language. Studies show that when a person speaks at least two languages, it slows down the onset of dementia and Alzheimer's disease in older age.

The commute doesn't have to be downtime. Do something to save time later. And in the free time you can do something more pleasant.

14. Choose a task during which you will not be distracted.

There's a lot of research out there showing that multitasking isn't good. And there are studies showing that multitasking makes us dumber. Maybe you agree with this, maybe you don't. But in any case, I am sure that you have at least one thing during which it is important not to be distracted and not lose focus.

Choose an important task, and when you complete it, turn off everything else. Think only of her. Well, how is it better? I'm sure yes. And I am sure that you will extend this practice to your other affairs.

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