How to regain your peace. - major troublemakers

There is an opinion that in our time it is difficult to be mentally balanced, that every day a lot of problems, questions, obligations fall on a person, which makes his head spin.

Few people can calmly react when they are shouted at, humiliated, rude, when a loved one leaves or when money is lost.

But there are such people. Sometimes they are considered abnormal.

What is the benefit of mental balance?

Exactly calm and balanced people they stop the wave of aggression, evil and discontent - and with their calmness turn it into adequate communication.

Adequate from the point of view of the Universe, which does not understand our fuss and psychosis.

Peace of mind and inner peace, as my experience shows, are also very beneficial for our physical health.

We can get rid of many existing diseases in a non-drug way. And we can avoid the emergence of new ones.

And how happy relatives and friends are when we become internally calm!
When there is one less unbalanced in the family)).

As a result, there are more constructive conversations and decisions in the family. Yes, at work too.

How to find peace of mind?

Method number 1. Stop playing and pretending

When we not sincere, pretending And deceiving It's hard to be mentally relaxed. After all, we often deceive ourselves.

We play some role: leaving the house, each of us is no longer what we are alone with ourselves, what we are inside ourselves.

We try to smile when we feel like crying. We maintain good-natured relations with colleagues when in fact they annoy us.

All these games and pretense take away mental strength and unbalance.
And all you need to do is just be yourself!

Yes, it is not an easy job to learn to be yourself, to stop pretending. However, it is possible.

Method number 2. Do something because you yourself wanted it, and not because others want it

Peace of mind is disturbed when we start live and act at the behest of other people.

We already don't listen to ourselves we listen to what other people tell us. And how can one be calm and balanced in such a situation, even if sometimes we don’t understand why we should do what we don’t want to do?

We are used to living in accordance with the desires of the people around us, but we have forgotten about our own. We allow others to manipulate us, we allow them to violate our personal boundaries. And in doing so, we lose a lot of energy - because we go against ourselves.

Doing what we want and not doing what others want us to do does not mean that we refuse to help someone. This means that we listen to our Soul and respect ourselves.

Method number 3. Know yourself and love yourself

More often talk to yourself alone to understand the motives of their desires and actions. To understand what you like and what you don't like. Set your own personal boundaries. And don't let those around you break them.

Ask yourself questions: Why do I need it…?», « Why am I doing this now? And be honest with yourself.

Then you will become more self-confident. Because you understand yourself. You know what drives you, what you really want. You do not condemn yourself, do not criticize, but calmly treat even what could previously cause hostility and irritation.

Because it is you, your most beloved person, who has his own advantages and disadvantages.

From self acceptance and mental balance begins to develop. You no longer judge yourself. You just accept yourself with all the qualities that you have.

Even with those that we call "negative". After all, the Universe does not have “negative” and “positive”. We place the signs "+" and "-" ourselves. The universe has just a quality.

When they become part of your life, then you will notice that you have more of your personal energy and inner strength. And as a result, you will find peace of mind.

To answer the question of how to find peace of mind, you first need to understand why we lose it. The simplest thing that comes to mind is our feelings: love, hatred, envy, fear, despair because of unfulfilled hopes, rejection of something, guilt, shame. There are so many things that can throw us off balance ... But in addition to internal fluctuations, external stimuli also affect us: we didn’t get enough sleep, dressed inappropriately for the weather, ate something wrong, slipped on the way to work, received a reprimand from bosses - and now the world begins to turn into dark colors, and a real storm rises in the soul, preventing us from rationally thinking, feeling, existing.

Do you want to be in harmony with yourself? Live in peace with your body: try to get enough sleep, indulge yourself with your favorite products from time to time, do not wear what is squeezing or rubbing, do not torture yourself and you will take a huge step towards finding peace of mind.

Remember how happy we were as children? The golden time, when the grass was taller than us, and the clouds seemed like cotton candy, when our parents did not criticize our lifestyle, but carried it in their arms. We were loved, pitied, we were the focus of the universe. Try to return yourself to this blissful time, and you will see how your soul will become light and calm. You can feel like a child both in playing with other children and in playing with yourself. For example, what prevents you during an illness not to rush to work in order to curry favor with your superiors, but to pick up your favorite book, put a pillow under your head and demand breakfast, lunch and dinner from your family, and that's it - to bed?

The house is not called a fortress for nothing. It allows you to hide from external troubles, in it you can take a break from annoying situations, strangers, work problems. Make your home cozy, and every evening it will feed you with positive energy.

Problems in the family and at work are one of the most common causes of loss of mental balance. Troubles on two fronts can immediately and completely bring a person to depression. To avoid this, try to solve problems as they arise. Do not accumulate irritation to the point where it will fall on you with all its weight. Do you think that the authorities do not appreciate you as a specialist? Try to prove your professional worth - not only in words, but also in deeds. Are you still not noticed? Humble yourself, wait for a favorable moment that will allow you to prove your professional suitability, or look for a new job.

Unfortunately, there are often situations in life that cannot be corrected immediately. Therefore, you need to learn: on the one hand, patience, on the other, the ability to radically change your life. Hope for the best, chance, fate, God is also a good way to come to terms with what you can’t change or can’t change now.

The time constant of a given problem is important for understanding how to work with it. If you don’t know how to cook, that’s one thing, you can always learn it, but if you don’t have anyone to cook for, then here ... you have to take yourself seriously. Unrequited love, like the death of a loved one, can knock the ground out from under anyone's feet.

The feelings of other people, like their lives, are not subject to us. You need to understand this, come to terms with such a structure of the world and not torture yourself in vain. Yes, it is terribly hard when loved ones leave, but it is unbearably bitter to know that you are not loved, but ... Every person has something more valuable than those around him: this is himself.

Self love can work wonders. Healthy selfishness, interest in one's own Self and the ability to appreciate what you have - these are the foundations on which you can form a sense of peace of mind and peace. See how easy it works:

• Dropped by a loved one? It's not scary - now we can live in our own pleasure.
  
• A colleague is plotting us? Amazing! There will be something to do at work, in addition to boring projects!
  
• Cousin bought a new foreign car? There is a reason to celebrate this business and think about how to make money on ... two foreign cars!
  
• Unable to lose weight? No problem! There must be many good people!
  

Remember a simple thing: as soon as something unbalances you, start acting. If it is possible to immediately eliminate the irritant - eliminate it, no - postpone the solution of the problem for a while and, perhaps, it will resolve itself. Faced with something out of the ordinary? Give vent to emotions. Do not hold tears, anger, despair. Do you feel like you can't do it alone? Go to friends, relatives. Just go outside, sit on a bench in the park and talk to a complete stranger. The feeling of novelty, an act that you perform for the first time in your life, will help you open yourself from an unexpected side, one in which the problems that have fallen may turn out to be completely insignificant.

You can try to remove mental heaviness ... with spiritual joys. Remember what you like most and do it as soon as possible. Dizzying shopping, going to the cinema for a long-awaited premiere, going fishing with friends, playing your favorite computer game - any little things can be the starting point for finding peace of mind.

How to find peace of mind in a raging world of suffering, worries, worries, constant problems, etc.? How to maintain Christian peace of mind in situations where we are annoyed by people or pissed off by various situations?

Often we feel weary and then we understand what the words of Christ mean: “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest” (). Whoever is young cannot fully feel this: there is no burden on him, but a mature person himself has gone through many dangers, sorrows, difficulties, failures, impotence, and the years add to him fatigue, hardships, and he wants to rest, shift where get rid of this burden, get rid of it.

The one who can truly give relief is Christ. Nobody else. Everything else that we do is human, it can only help us to some extent, for example: we can go on a trip, go to the village to a good friend, to some other pleasant place. This also helps and calms us, but not deeply. Only Christ can truly repose the soul of a person, because He Himself is the Rest of our souls.

As we say at the Holy Liturgy, "let us commit ourselves, and each other, and our whole life to Christ our God." Let us surrender to Christ the whole burden of our “I” and the “I” of the people around us, our worries, anxieties, torments, fears, sorrows, pain, complaints - we will unload all this into the hands of God and surrender ourselves to Christ God.

As Elder Paisius said more than once, we are like a man holding a sack full of junk on his back. And God comes and snatches it from our hands so that we do not carry this bag full of all kinds of lewdness, rubbish and sewage, but we do not let it go. We want to keep it with us and everywhere we go, carry it with us. But then God comes and pulls him out:

Yes, leave him, let him out, throw away this bag full of all sorts of things! Drop it, don't carry it around. So what did you get into it? Why do you need him? To make you tormented and tormented in vain?

But we - no, we won't let him out for anything! Like stubborn children holding something tightly and not wanting to give it away.

A young man once came to Mount Athos to become a monk, but he was tormented by some difficulties. And one day, when he was in the temple, the elder looked at his face and said:

Look at this young man: he does not let a single thought escape him!

That is, he does not allow any thought to run away from him and he would remain for 5 minutes without thoughts.

His mind is like a mill, constantly grinding something. He puts material into it, puts stones, and it gives out dust and sand.

He called him and said:

Come here! Well, why are you sitting like a television antenna that receives all the waves sent from the transmitter! Leave at least some, let it run! Your mind is like a windmill that keeps turning. Watch what you put into your mind! Naturally, if you put stones in, dust and sand will come out and the dust will rise like a pillar. So put good stuff into your mind. Put in good, good thoughts, good ideas, put in a prayer, because in this way you only torment yourself. After all, everything that you endlessly grind falls on you, and not on anyone, and you torment yourself in vain.

A person must learn to take care of himself so that there is no disorder in his mind that has no end and which destroys us: because our mind can destroy us and create many problems for us. Therefore, we must turn to God through prayer, confession, humility, and leave everything that occupies us in the hands of God, and find peace. And you will find rest for your souls.

Christ came into the world to comfort us, not to confuse us, to confuse us. Give us rest, rest, because He knows that we are tired, and the more time passes, the more we get tired. This is a great art, and the Church owns it.

Once I spoke with a psychologist, and he asked me:

How many people do you take per day?

I answered him:

Now that I'm older, I can't stand it much: 50-60, up to 70 a day. And when I lived in the monastery of Mahera and was younger, sometimes there were 150: I started at 4 in the morning and finished at 7-8 in the evening or later.

He told me:

What you are doing to yourself is not good, it is very cruel. We can't have more than ten people a day. As psychologists who accept people, we accept at most ten people, we can't take any more.

Yes, but we have only one advantage - as soon as we leave the confessional, everything disappears. This is an amazing phenomenon. After all, we hear so much! Just think what the confessor hears. Nothing nice, and above all, no one says nice things to us. It's like a doctor. Is there anyone going to the doctor who would say to him:

Doctor, I've come for you to look at me, otherwise I'm too healthy!

No. Only diseases, wounds, blood, pain. And we will not go to the confessor to present to him our virtues, achievements, joyful events in life, but only the bad, mournful, indecent, only failures. And you're a man, how long can you endlessly listen to only bad things and sins?

One child once asked me:

Sir, has anyone come to tell you that they committed murder?

I told him:

And you are not dumbfounded?

Not dumbfounded.

He looked at me in surprise.

But seriously?

Yes, I'm serious.

And if he was alone... Many people today are burdened, and there are so many problems in the world. But we do not retain all this in ourselves, and therefore our stomach and heart do not suffer, we do not fall under the weight of human pain, but we transfer all this to Christ, because Christ is God's Lamb, who takes and bears the sin of the world, and our sin too . Christ is the One who is really present there and takes all this weight. And we do nothing, we are just ministers, we do our service, well, there is Christ accepting every person.

I tell you this not only from my own experience as a person who confesses, that is, a believer who confesses once every 2-3 months, but also as a person who has confessed people for more than 35 years, who has confessed thousands of people. And I tell you that this is a sacrament that we perform 50 times a day, and often daily, to the point of complete exhaustion, but I am completely convinced that Christ is present there. We see it all the time: He receives people, He listens to people, He answers people, He heals a person, and we are the spectators of it all.

Like a bank teller, through whose hands millions of rubles pass a day, but they are not his. He takes them, writes them down, sends them to the boss - he just does this job. The same is true with the spiritual father. He is a witness, he testifies there of God's presence, he is an instrument that God uses. But Christ performs the great sacrament of healing a person, answers what a person asks, Christ performs the mystery of the salvation of a person.

This is the greatest experience a person can ever have. I often say this when I ordain priests, that from now on you will see how God works with your hands. God will be your daily reality. It's a miracle, an everyday miracle, repeated hundreds of times a day, when all these interventions of God (as the fathers say) happen without you doing anything. You are simply fulfilling the external part of this relationship between man and God, but in reality Christ, who takes away the sin of the world, takes the burden - ours and the whole world's.

But in order to feel this, one must first understand that Christ takes away our sins - confessors, priests, bishops, and if He takes away my sins, then He takes away the sins of all people. And I cannot be indignant or doubt that He will bear the sins of my brother. Because our personal experience is a huge proof that Christ came into the world to save sinners, as the holy apostle Paul says, of which I am the first ().

If Christ endures and saves me, if he did not reject and remove me from sight, then I can tolerate any person, because, without any doubt, my brother is better than me. Whatever he did. Because, without any doubt, there is no one below me. This is how a person should feel, that "there is no one below me."

Although it seems to us that it is hard, but in fact it makes it very easy, because the more a person humbles himself before God, the more he recognizes that God is his Savior, and thanks Him for saving him, for becoming a Man. for us that endures us. And when I say “tolerate”, I mean myself, and not others, myself, each of us individually.

So, when I feel this, the more I feel it, the easier it becomes for me, and the more I cry and sob about my wretchedness and wretchedness, the more consolation I feel. This is the secret of the Church. You find joy not in worldly joy, but in pain. Where pain is visible, where sorrow is visible, where the cross is visible, where fatigue is visible, there is consolation. There, on the Cross, joy. As we say, "behold, through the Cross joy has come to the whole world."

In sorrow, in repentance, in the feat of repentance with humility, a person receives rest. This is something paradoxical. In the Church, the more a person cries, the more he rejoices. The more he learns the art of tears, crying in prayer, the more he rests and cleanses. Tears in spiritual space are the key that reveals to us the mysteries of God, the mysteries of God's grace. And the more he cries, the more he rejoices, rejoices, consoles himself, cleanses himself and receives rest.

Our hope and faith are in Christ, He is our rest. Without Him we do not rest. No one can give us rest. And what we think gives us rest exhausts us unimaginably. A person thinks that if he is rich, he will feel good. However, wealth is a merciless, ruthless, cruel tyrant; there is no joy in it. It is a burden that, like a shadow, constantly haunts you.

A person may think that worldly fame gives relief when you have great fame, name, power in the world. But nothing of the kind, absolutely nothing: all this fatigue, burden, deceit, tormenting us unimaginably. None of this can bring relief to a person, he receives relief only near God, only in what is true, authentic, only in that he conquers death. Everything else is doomed to death, and this tires us unimaginably, because first of all it brings us uncertainty.

What can help me? Can I count on my health? What health? After all, I don’t even know what will happen to me in the next minute. And, thank God, today we have so many diseases waiting for us. So many dangers, difficulties, misfortunes, fears. So who can give me certainty? Certainty is the false feeling these worldly things give you.

As it is said in the Gospel about the last times, that fear will reign on earth, today fear, uncertainty is a huge phenomenon. It is worth talking to someone about illnesses, he will immediately tell you: “Knock on wood so that we stay healthy!” Knock on wood. Yes, knock on anything you like: even on wood, even on a board, even on iron, even on a wall, whatever you want, but when the time comes to knock on your door of illness, then we'll see what you will knock on. No matter what you knock on, nothing will work for you.

We hide reality, it terrifies us. All this, in essence, torments us, while Christ is really the Quiet Light. He is God's Light, enlightening a person, calming him, calming him, giving him a sense of the eternal Kingdom of God. When a person has a feeling of the eternal Kingdom, what can terrify him, what can disturb his mood? Nothing frightens him, even death itself - for the man of God, all this takes on a different dimension.

Of course, we are human, and the human functions in us, but, as the holy apostle Paul says, we have hope in Christ. It is one thing to suffer without any hope, and another thing to have hope in Christ. It is a powerful foundation that you stand on and it is difficult to shake you. This foundation is Christ, our Savior, towards whom we have boldness, because we feel Him as our own: "My Christ," said the saints. And Christ, the Savior of the whole world, brings us to God. Becoming a Man, He led the whole world to God the Father.

Having faith in God, in Christ, we become unshakable. We do not hesitate, we do not budge when waves of temptations, lack of faith, difficulties, when hard times come, overwhelm us. After all, God allows even great saints to find themselves in very difficult situations, there are unimaginably difficult moments when God seems to leave people and is silent, and you feel that you are alone. And not only that, but all evil at once falls upon you, and one evil follows another, one temptation follows another, one failure after another, and you no longer see God anywhere. You don't feel Him, as if He abandoned you. But we remain convinced that God is present.

As Elder Joseph the Hesychast said to himself when these thoughts choked him: “Everything that you say is good. There is a mass of logical evidence and evidence that all this is as you say. But where is God here? Where is God? Will He leave us in this position? Is it possible for God to leave us? God never leaves us. And if we fry in life's temptations, then God is also there, with us.

And then, when these tribulations pass, we will see that the most spiritually fruitful period of our life, when Christ was really with us, was precisely the period of many tribulations. There, among many sorrows, God's grace is hidden, and not among joys.

Among the joys is also good. And here we also thank God. But who does not say in the midst of joys: “Glory to God”? Isn't it true that when we feel joy, we say: “Glory to God! We are fine!" However, can we say: “Thank God, everything is bad with us! Thank God we are sick! Thank God we are dying! Thank God everything is falling apart around me. But still, thank God.” Like Saint John, who always spoke and ended his life with the words: “Glory to God for everything!”

It is a great thing to praise God for everything: both joyful and mournful, both easy and difficult, both for successes and for failures. But most of all, for sorrow. Sorrows make us mature, and when everything is fine with us, then we forget - such is our nature - we forget God, our neighbors, our brothers and all the people suffering around us ...

Metropolitan Athanasius of Limassol

Translated from the Bulgarian Stanka Kosovo

Faculty of Theology of Veliko Tarnovo University

Life without problems does not happen. There is always something or someone that brings anxiety and trouble. Often the cause of trouble is the person himself. But the source of problems is not so significant as their solution, because only in this way can peace of mind be obtained. Or is there another way?

Throughout a person’s life, problems are encountered, they have no end and edge, these are life lessons that make the soul and body stronger, smarter, more beautiful. So it makes no sense to hope for a complete solution to all problems, they will appear again. But you can learn to live with them, to respond to them correctly, so that it is not only easier to live, but also to find balance in your life and find peace, so necessary for a normal, happy life and physical health. There are several tips, steps, after which you can look at the world with different eyes, stop getting angry over trifles and gain peace of mind.

11 steps to calmness and balance

1. Awareness is the first step to solving a problem. It is impossible to escape from difficulties and worries, they will find you and punish you for your cowardice. It is better to accept and realize their significance. After all, there is no smoke without fire. Analyze the situation, where the problem came from, how it can be solved, but most importantly, take it for granted, because only by resigning yourself to it, you can really completely solve it.
2. Everyone has shortcomings, they cannot be avoided and cannot be corrected. So it makes no sense to lose your temper watching your husband toss dirty socks under a chair, and not in a basket of dirty clothes. You love this person, so accept his shortcomings, these are his particles, you cannot love only half. This also applies to other things: the rain will fall in the autumn, despite your desire, and the sun will mercilessly scorch the earth in the summer, even if the temperature has already reached 50 degrees. Your anger will not help here. But when you relax, you can accept all the shortcomings of this world, all its worries and benefits, you just need to take off your rose-colored glasses, the world is not perfect, but even in the bad you can find something good if you look closely.
3. Happiness is unattainable while there is resentment in the heart. And even if the offender is cruel and unfair, only by forgiving him can you begin to move on. Anger, like resentment, is destructive, it burns a person from the inside, and therefore does not give rest and only pushes him into the abyss. Anger does not bring good or good. All that is needed is to let her go, of course, many will decide to take revenge before this, but this only makes sense if you want to repay those who deserve it. For example, it would be much more prudent to imprison a person who has committed a crime than to turn a blind eye to his sins. But to take revenge undeservedly is even worse than to be angry or offended. You hurt an innocent person, and therefore destroy your harmony, your balance.
4. Try to exclude negativity from the daily "menu". Bad news on TV, angry neighbor, or angry boss, quarrel. It means not just turning around and leaving, but paying less attention to it. They yell or get angry, it doesn’t concern you, you yourself know what you are guilty of and what you are not and solve all your shortcomings, but there is no point in accepting the bad energy of the boss.
5. A spark of hope and goodness can be seen even where, it would seem, it definitely cannot be. Pay attention to things that, albeit mundane, bring joy and pleasure: a warm bath, hot coffee, autumn leaves swirling beautifully overhead, or rain that brings with it at least just a beautiful landscape or a rainbow. Of course, big problems - money, family, love - will not go away, but this does not mean that you have to always walk around as a gloomy person. Let now you do not have enough money, but you drink your favorite delicious tea, or eat a delicious dish at this very moment, and this is what is important. Joy from little things sometimes brings relief, that there is joy, and for the whole day there were not only bad moments, but also good ones.
6. Having accepted and realized all the previous points, start thinking about today. Yesterday was a terrible day, and in three days you will have a difficult exam. But today it has already passed and has not yet come, so why think about it? Make the most of this day, achieve something important, think about an interesting movie, in the end, prepare for this exam, but with positive thoughts. Everything is possible, they can put the exam automatically! And the chance for this is negligible, it still exists. By setting yourself up for the worst possible scenario, you will only increase your anxiety and fear.
7. "Everything will pass" - a phrase written on the ring of Solomon - one of the wisest people of all time. And she is unfounded. Everything really passes. The day is drawing to a close, the pain can leave a scar, but not remain intact, the original forever, sooner or later the wounds heal, even if they leave a trace in the memory. But still, any difficulties make a person stronger or completely break. You will always have time to try out the second option, so why not try to implement the first one? For any difficulty, immediately think that it will make you stronger, and not that this is a new painful problem.
8. Sooner or later, a day happens when everything immediately falls like a bulky stone on your fragile shoulders: problems at home, with your loved one, at work, and even your stockings are torn along the way! But, if you run after all the problems at once, then you will not have time for anything. Stop, pour a cup of tea or coffee, sit in a chair and just close your eyes. Throw everything out of your head, feel how the heat of the cup warms your hands, giving you its warmth. Now this cup is on your side, a kind of lifeline from the cold cold of your problems, and tea will help you gather strength and do everything in time.
9. Problems are different, sometimes it seems that you were deceived, that you were not given the desired happiness, your loved one left or was fired from work. The heart is torn from pain and haunted by the bill for the apartment. But perhaps this is your chance, not your problem? Some trouble is actually a chance, for example, to find a higher paying job, or to meet true love, someone who will appreciate you more than anything in the world, love and protect you. Just learn to accept problems, considering at least both sides of them, both negative and positive. Then they will not be so scary for you.
10. Life is a game. By taking it absolutely seriously, you only make it harder. Let this expression lead you through life, a difficult conference is on the nose, let it become a race, what if you win?
11. Think less. If you can’t escape from bad thoughts or you realize that you are winding yourself up more on negativity, then stop thinking, occupy yourself with what fills your thoughts. When it's done, move on to something else. The point is not to think, but to do. And laugh more, negative thoughts turn to dust when they hear the sound of laughter, laugh at problems or at least smile, this will give you the strength to fight.

In addition to all of the above, it is worth emphasizing two more sure ways to improve your perception of the world and find harmony: sports and yoga. Sport helps to produce hormones of happiness and normalize health, and yoga is considered the best friend in finding balance and calmness, thanks to it you will learn to readjust and calm down in time even in the most difficult situations.