Why do kind people become cruel? Why do people become cruel and callous. Why are people so cruel? Why do kind people become cruel Why do so many cruel people

I
hate school! I wake up every day and try to find some
an excuse not to go there. I spend most of the year on sick leave,
I constantly catch a cold, it seems to me, because I hate so much
school.

And it's all about my classmates. It all started two years ago
back when I transferred to a specialized English school. If a
if my mother only knew!.. And then it began: on the first of September I came
on the ruler, and the first boy from my class who saw me,
shouted: "Look, there's a bespectacled elephant coming!" I even
I didn't realize right away that he was talking about me. I used to have special problems
I didn’t, I knew, of course, that I wouldn’t be a fashion model, but
I've never been particularly worried about my weight. And then immediately
I felt so ugly! I almost cried, but I held it in.

The girls in the class did not accept me either, they talked to me
only one girl Katya. And the boys already started in the first lesson
throwing paper balls at me and calling me names. Well
did I do this to them? Then the teacher called me to the blackboard and called me
me by my last name, but my name is not very sonorous, to put it mildly: Kolbasnikova.
What started here, everyone was just dying of laughter! And right behind me
the nickname Fat Sausage stuck.

I tried to talk to the class teacher.
But she said I'm already a big girl to complain. My
my mother also thinks so, and the main thing for her is that she arranged for me
to a prestigious school and that I will get a good education. How can I
get it when I sit in class and am afraid that they will call me to the board,
and everyone will start shouting: "Fat Sausage to the board!" To study
I've become much worse than in my old school, I just don't care,
What grade will I get? I mark every day on the calendar, I wait,
when Saturday comes and you don't have to go to school and hear again
all those cruel words.

And recently I discovered that I got even stronger.
Probably due to the fact that I come home angry and tired - I open
refrigerator and eat, for example, as many as three meatballs. Or chocolate.
And I can’t stop, I eat everything I find. Mom has already become
hide food from me! And at school they started teasing me even more,
and even the teachers won't stand up for me.

I do not know what to do. Until the end of school left
two whole years, how can I survive them? I don't even have anyone to talk to
heart to heart, we don’t see friends from the old school, mom doesn’t want
nothing to hear about my problems in class. If I do finish
school, I will definitely become a psychologist. And I will help the same
girls who are bullied and called names. But while I'm dreading Monday,
because I know that I have to go to school again...

Kseniya".

Psychologist Olga Ilyina comments on the situation:

How much, Oksana, I need to tell you. And all in the first
turn. Therefore, reading in order, know: EVERYTHING IS IMPORTANT.

DEFINITELY show this article to your mom to find out what
it is really important for her: the prestige of the school and the fact that her daughter is there
studies, or your psychological comfort and NORMAL SELF-ESTIMATION.

I hope mom cares about you. Just apparently
she didn't have time to STOP and REALIZE that you really
poorly. That even the best school can't be good for you
if for two years not only students, but also teachers DO NOT SEE
OR brush off your problem. (By the way, information for your
moms: if there is a person in the class who is destined for the role of a goat
absolution, then this speaks of a great pedagogical (!) trouble.)

In this case, it is best to transfer you to another (better
old, if there were friends) school. And you can learn everywhere
wish.

I did not just call you by a different name, try
and you call yourself something else. After all, Xenia means "alien".
But Oksana is a completely different song. Open any book, especially
Ukrainian: whatever Oksana, then kindness and become. But becoming is not
only beauty, but also relief forms.

Hence the following: do gymnastics. You need to develop
flexibility. And also, if possible, go to oriental dances
or belly dance. In this case, you will not only feel good
your body, but you will also improve the work of the gastrointestinal tract, and it became
Your metabolism will speed up and you will gradually lose weight.

In the meantime, the court and the case, imagine that you are transparent
a glass, and all the nasty things that are addressed to Xenia pass by, like
through the glass without touching you: after all, you are not only transparent, but
and they do not address you: you have a different name.

And let mom not forget that the school needs to be changed: it is important
not only get a secondary education, but also feel
capable of more.

And the last thing: work on your body not to spite the enemies,
but for my beloved. Improve yourself. You have something to strive for.

Main reasons

historical brutality

People used to be kinder. Worth thinking about. And before - when? Thousands of years ago, when cannibalism flourished? Well, these people can be by and large even somehow justified. They were primitive. And they did not know at all about the humane attitude towards their neighbor. Or maybe those who lived in the era of the Inquisition were kinder? Or during the reign of Stalin? Many people were imprisoned thanks to denunciations. How many such "good people" sincerely tried to give their neighbor a "gift"!

Relations with relatives

Yes, because relatives are not going anywhere. Communicating with strangers, a person restrains himself. There are many reasons: both the desire to win over the interlocutor, and the fear of losing an interesting friend. In the case of the boss, intemperance can threaten with dismissal. But when you get into the circle of relatives, especially in a bad mood, even one word can infuriate a person. That's when the scandal erupted out of nowhere. Of course, this is fundamentally wrong, but the accumulated negative needs to be discharged. That is why it pours out on the closest relatives and friends. They, even if they are strongly offended and quarreled with them, love so much that they will forgive them anyway.

root of evil

Instability in society

An indirect cause of cruelty is the growing anxiety. Social inequality, instability give rise to a feeling of discomfort. From TV screens, people see cruelty again. A person whose psyche is formed is able to distinguish the grain from the husk, he will not accept aggression as a call to action. The child will absorb, like a sponge, on-screen scenes of violence. And he can perceive all this as a kind of school of life. It is important to realize how much such television hurts the child's psyche, and the answer to the question: "Why did people become cruel?" will be received instantly.

Feeling rejected

How to defend the victim

lack of self-esteem;

It is very important to think over the reaction to the offender. He will perceive you very differently if the answer is different from his expectations. In some cases, a sense of humor helps. Try not to succumb to irritation and direct a difficult conflict into the mainstream of a joke. At the same time, learn to perceive less acutely unpleasant situations.

Conclusion

People have become cruel, too cruel. It is especially scary to watch today's news: someone was beaten with bats, someone was tortured, someone was shot, someone was bombed ... We are already literally shaking from cruelty, can it really be even worse? What is happening with our world? Why do people become angry and cruel? And how, in the end, to stop this bacchanalia of pain, horror and despair?

Why are some people kind and some cruel?
Why exactly modern people have become especially cruel?
Why do kind people become cruel? Under what circumstances does this happen?
How to stop cruelty in the world? How to change the world for the better?

When the world begins to seem wrong, and people are too cruel - this is signal. Not to the fact that you need to pout, close in the apartment, be afraid of everyone around, be offended or angry. Not! This is a call to action. This is a signal that it is worth changing the world so that it becomes better, kinder, more welcoming. But we should remember that the world does not change when we yell at each other or hand out leaflets with calls "Thou shalt not kill!" at the nearest intersection. All this will not give absolutely nothing. You can change the world only by bringing changes into it, that is, you will have to start with yourself. And it will be difficult, but after all, the desire is not small: to turn the world upside down and make people stop being cruel. Only the walking one can master this road.

Why do we see the world the way we see it?

The most common complaint that can be heard from the lips of fighters for kindness and peace throughout the world is that people simply do not see all the threats that they themselves create. People are cruel, evil and do not even think about changing. And we, kind and good, no matter how we knock on them, we can’t get through. It is obvious that if everyone saw the world in all its glory of cruelty, then it would be transformed into one continuous kindness. And you think so too, right? Then keep in mind that you really do exactly what it seems.

To get an answer to the question why people are so cruel, you need to try to see the world through the eyes of others, try to understand what drives people.

To see the world as it is, it is necessary to rely on something. In the case of the study of the inanimate world, it is best to apply knowledge of physics - in this way, we learn the forces and laws that we obey. In the case of the study of the plant world, one will have to turn to botany, and in the case of animals, to biology. Of course, when studying a person, one can turn to anatomy and physiology, but this will be a study of only the human body. And in order to understand its essence, one will have to turn to the study of his psyche - system-vector psychology. This latest science for the first time accurately defines human psychotypes through their desires and properties.

It is through system-vector psychology that one can see people as they are. Moreover, one can understand why we ourselves see the world the way we see it, that is, with a slight distortion in our direction. For example, only the owners of the visual vector, it seems that the world is full of cruel people, and they all intentionally do cruel things. It is the spectators who divide the world into good and evil, defining all their best characteristics as good, and everything that seems unpleasant to them as evil. So, a visual person cannot kill, injure any living being, therefore everyone who kicks a dog or kills a chicken is defined by him as a cruel and evil person. At the same time, the viewer himself is very emotional and all people who also have this quality are perceived by him as kind, good people.

Other people see the world differently. For example, people with a skin vector divide people according to economic principle and social superiority, in relation to time and quantity. Through their slit, they also see only a piece of the world and, as a result, they do not suffer at all from the fact that people have become cruel, but they are very worried that they have less wealth than others, that they cannot afford to buy a house, a car and a yacht. That's how they view the world, that's how they talk. Never a skin person will say "What people are cruel."

And so in each vector, in each person - his own piece of the world, his own slit into which he peeps.

This is the reason why we make mistakes. Not every emotional person is good and kind. Not every rich person is a thief. And so on.

Why do people become violent?

But, even learning to see vectors and human life values, we, to our regret, found that the world does not shine with positivity. There is a lot of violence in the world, people have really become cruel. Information about war and horror settled in everyday news and became familiar.

Through system-vector psychology, we have the opportunity to see the true reasons for such behavior of people.

When we go beyond ourselves, many things become obvious. People have become so cruel, not because they are evil or want evil, but because they suffer. They do not get enough happiness, they cannot find what would bring pleasure. Of course, they rush about in search - and pray in churches, and change jobs, and go to success trainings, and try to get directions in horoscopes and fortunetellers, but all in vain.

It's like having a bad tooth. It hurts and there is nowhere to go from this pain, even climb the wall. Where to run, what to do? We drink analgin, and the pain goes away, for a while. This is not relief, not joy, but so ... a temporary lull, when you know that the pain will definitely return. Moreover, the same medicine, one tablet, will not help further - you will have to increase the dose to drown out the pain.

So it is here: people suffer, and in order to suffer less, they let off steam. Where? In other people: violence, crime, cruelty. Even just having a fight, shouting, it becomes a little easier for us. But this relief is akin to an analgesic - a short-term analgesic effect will pass very quickly and suffering will rush with even greater force. And even the kindest of us become cruel too. Those who yesterday could not even kill a fly are now shouting about the possibility of dropping an atomic bomb on those who prevent them from living.

How to change the world - how to make people stop being cruel?

It is impossible to take painkillers away from a person with a bad tooth - he will hate you. In the same way, it is impossible to take away from a suffering person the only opportunity to let off steam: to get angry, offended, scream, chafe, or just quietly hate everyone.

The only thing we can do is to become happy and become an example for others. Show that you can live differently - in a different way, without suffering. Just like with a bad tooth - after all, everyone goes to the dentist for a reason, but because doctors can really help and the toothache will really go away. So here - you need to feel happiness in yourself. Of course, in no case is it implied some kind of self-deception or affirmation, prayer or conspiracy, when we wind ourselves up, forcefully smile and say "I am the happiest person in the world", and inside there is emptiness, melancholy and depression.

No, it's different. We become happy only when we begin to truly understand ourselves, the reasons for our behavior, and find answers to our inner questions. When, in response to an internal question, "stop, why am I doing this? Where am I going? Am I living the right way?" there are not some abstractions, but exact, definite answers. All this comes when we begin to understand the world as a whole, understand the actions of people, the reasons for their behavior.

And it is precisely those painful "points" that disturb us that are guidelines where it is necessary to make an effort. If it seems that there is too little good around, then our own visual vector feels suffering and it is necessary to find a way to fill it. If it sounds like no one understands you, then you should ask yourself the question - who do you understand yourself? If it seems that there is a lack of justice, then we are already suffocating from the injustice that we ourselves create, among other things. If there are only thieves around, you yourself must take will into a fist and stop thinking,

Every day, a continuous negative of various scales penetrates into our lives. The media obligingly report who killed, robbed, and shot down whom. Constantly various sources of information bring to our attention information about new cataclysms, political turmoil. And the positive, in comparison with the amount of negative news, is negligible. It seems that there is absolutely no good and good in the world. Unfortunately, this flow has “littered” the heads so much that today no one even thinks why people are so cruel? How to change it? And is modern humanity really so soulless?

Main reasons

Why are there so many cruel people? The answer to this question should be sought in the causes of aggression. It should be noted that the manifestation of cruelty is quite many-sided. However, it is not difficult to recognize her. A person who hurts another by making him suffer, whether morally or physically, who is fully aware of this and seeks to cause harm, is cruel.

Psychologists identify three reasons why people are cruel:

Dissatisfaction with life. Persons dissatisfied with their fate are often subjected to stress and depression. These emotions so strongly overwhelm their soul that at any moment they are ready to break free. That is why all the negativity is often splashed out by mothers on children. Some people, under the influence of anger, break branches of trees, beat animals. This state of mind is quite dangerous, because it threatens the owner with the occurrence of neuroses, mental disorders. In addition to all this, constant negativity seriously shortens life expectancy, leads to the development of heart disease or skin problems.
Indifference. Very often it is it that generates unjustified cruelty. Some people do not even try to understand how much pain their actions, and sometimes words, can cause. They don't think about how much they can hurt another. At the same time, a weak creature becomes the object of their cruelty, which cannot show emotions and explain what pain they caused him.
Suppressed emotions. Sometimes a person shows aggression "on the side." Such behavior is characteristic of those who in everyday life are forced to constantly hide and suppress desires, emotions, impulses. Most often, such cruelty is characteristic of grown-up children (especially boys) who grew up in a family of authoritarian parents. Employees who are forced to unquestioningly carry out the orders of the boss, not being able to reveal their will, in some conditions can show extremely cruel ruthlessness.

historical brutality

The older generation likes to wonder - why did so many cruel people appear? Everyone was better before. Listening to their complaints, you involuntarily agree. One has only to open a newspaper or watch the news.

Earlier people Worth thinking about. And before - when? Thousands of years ago, when cannibalism flourished? Well, these people can be by and large even somehow justified. They were primitive. And they did not know at all about the humane attitude towards their neighbor. Or maybe those who lived in the era of the Inquisition were kinder? Or during the reign of Stalin? Many people were imprisoned thanks to denunciations. How many such "good people" sincerely tried to give their neighbor a "gift"!

Why does it feel like there are so many cruel people today? Of course, the media did their bit. In an era of democracy, they pay more attention to manifestations of cruelty. It should be noted that the level of humanity in humanity has also increased, which is why aggression is so striking.

Relations with relatives

All people tend to show cruelty. For some this happens very rarely. Others often show aggression. At the same time, anyone can commit a cruel act, and quite often such outbursts occur in really kind people. Unfortunately, all the negativity spills out on the closest relatives and friends. For those who are truly loved and very dear. Why are people so cruel? What makes them "tear off" anger at their relatives, and restrain outbursts of anger with others? Why is it impossible to control your behavior when communicating with loved ones?

Yes, because relatives Communicating with strangers, a person restrains himself. There are many reasons: both the desire to win over the interlocutor, and the fear of losing an interesting friend. In the case of the boss, intemperance can threaten with dismissal. But when you get into the circle of relatives, especially in a bad mood, even one word can infuriate a person. That's when the scandal erupted out of nowhere. Of course, this is fundamentally wrong, but the accumulated negative needs to be discharged. That is why it pours out on the closest relatives and friends. They, even if they are strongly offended and quarreled with them, love so much that they will forgive them anyway.

root of evil

The feeling of anger is given by nature. It is necessary in order to mobilize all forces for the struggle at dangerous moments. But how it will be used by a person depends on the moral standards instilled in childhood. If parents show aggression towards a child, it will definitely come back to haunt. Relationships between children and fathers, based on fear, are likely to be adopted by a teenager in communication with peers. It is in the family that one should look for the root of evil. Such upbringing clearly explains why people become cruel.

Although in this situation, the child may develop another model of behavior: he decides that he is bad and is to blame for everything. Such a teenager becomes a victim of peer abuse. Often he does not even look for methods of protection, believing that he deserved this.

Sometimes the cause of aggression may not be violence at all, but overprotection. This method of education puts a sense of permissiveness into the subconscious of the child. A teenager considers himself the most important and demands unquestioning obedience. Unfortunately, a person who has not been taught by his parents to respect others will not gain this wisdom anywhere else. He will not even notice how he humiliates.

Instability in society

An indirect cause of cruelty is the growing anxiety. instability creates a feeling of discomfort. From TV screens, people see cruelty again. A person whose psyche is formed is able to distinguish the grain from the husk, he will not accept aggression as a call to action. The child will absorb, like a sponge, on-screen scenes of violence. And he can perceive all this as a kind of school of life. It is important to realize how much such television hurts the child's psyche, and the answer to the question: "Why did people become cruel?" will be received instantly.

Feeling rejected

It is especially developed in adolescence. However, many adults carry these feelings into adulthood. Quite often, one can observe a picture when a baby exclaims loudly on the street and points a finger at a person with a different skin color or a physical handicap.

Adults react very differently. On a subconscious level, they experience a sense of danger. This is where the desire to self-destruct comes in. But for some it manifests itself in cruelty and violence. It is this feeling that sometimes makes teenagers mock peers who are different from them. Why are people so cruel? Again, the instilled skills of tolerance and respect in the family will not allow a teenager or an adult to behave this way.

How to defend the victim

Psychologists say that in a team it is quite easy to determine which people are cruel and who are the “lamb”. Therefore, the victim of aggression is advised to identify the following signs:

lack of self-esteem;
full acceptance of the opinion that trouble is deserved.

You should start with the awareness of your "I". Every person has a number of advantages and disadvantages. He is what he is. And no one has the right to offend him. Only by fully accepting this truth can one move further along the path of raising self-esteem, developing a sense of success. Parents can help the child in this realization. For an adult, since the behavior model has taken root, it is better to use the help of a professional psychologist.

As a rule, a hobby for some new business helps a lot. You can even enroll in a martial arts class.

It is very important to think over the reaction to the offender. He will perceive you very differently if the answer is different from his expectations. In some cases, it helps Try not to succumb to irritation and direct a difficult conflict into the mainstream of a joke. At the same time, learn to perceive less acutely unpleasant situations.

How to deal with your own aggression?

The reasons described above give an idea of why kind people become cruel. But how to deal with such manifestations? What to do if you start to boil internally?

Perfectly cleanse from the negative physical activity. After all, sport teaches conscious control over your emotions and body. Psychologists often recommend mastering breathing exercises. It will allow you to control both the body and the spirit.

Find a safe outlet for the accumulated negativity. Throw out your emotions with a cry. Just not for relatives and not for a colleague. Shout where you need it. For example, become an ardent football fan or attend rock concerts.

By the way, psychologists recommend this technique: stand near the railway in the evening. When the train passes, yell at the top of your lungs, as loud as you can. The noise of the wheels will drown out any sound. No one will hear you, and the body will receive the necessary discharge.

Conclusion

Remember that only you can deal with the feeling of cruelty that arises inside you. And this is completely within your power. If you want to find the answer to the question "why are people so cruel", start with yourself. Analyze your behavior. Get rid of the toxic feeling, because sooner or later it threatens to turn into a severe depression.

Throughout our lives, we have at least once met a person who, in our opinion, was cruel, angry and decidedly disgusting to us.

If your past is in any way similar to other people's past, you were most likely teased, gossiped about, shouted at, humiliated, cornered, intimidated and unfairly punished - and your reaction was probably this: " FOR WHAT?"

Why are people angry with each other? Why do some people even enjoy being bitchy and venomous? You, like most people, will answer something along the lines of "...because they are bad people", "...because they are psychopaths / sociopaths", "...they are evil", "...well, that's how they are, what can you do!"

Yes, such answers are quite normal and common, however, this view of things is very narrow. These answers are naive, and it's time to better understand why "bad people are bad."

Why do we like to be offended?

You are talking to someone, you said something frankly offensive, and your interlocutor is offended by you. He rises threateningly and says, “You know, I found out something about you. You are a real bastard and you don't care about anyone but yourself. No wonder you have almost no friends." And then it is quickly washed off.

What is your reaction?

Full of righteous anger, you can jump up and start refuting all attacks by striking back. Well, or you will continue to sit, thinking about what you said, while sadness-longing will slowly devour you. “How could he do this to me?”, “What the hell have I done?”. You can continue to cook in your hatred, cursing everything around.

These two reactions are quite common, I myself have behaved in a similar way in the past. Responding to another person's anger breaks our peace of mind... but you know what I'll tell you? We like to be outraged. We like to be drunk with anger.

When we feel unfairly offended, we immediately reward ourselves with the title of “victim”, and not only, we also experience a sense of our own superiority. How often in the past have you been angry at a "disgusting person" with the firm belief that "I'm a lot better." I think often. But don't worry, it's normal. We all do it.

The fact is that anger is like a drug, and not only because it gives us a false feeling that we are allegedly better, more beautiful, more correct, more just. In addition to this, it creates the illusion of a distinction between us and the world (in other words, it strengthens our ego). Because of this, we cannot see through the veil of misbehavior - because of our unwillingness to get rid of anger.

Once we are fully prepared to let go of our anger and all its charms, we can truly understand why people are so bad. This realization will be of infinite benefit to you.

How to tear off the mask of mock cruelty?

When we blame bad and cruel people for all mortal sins, we deprive them of all human qualities. Yes, you will say that there are psychopaths and sociopaths who have no empathy and no remorse at all. But these people (who by the way make up a very low percentage of the population) are not robots either. In fact, they also suffer from feelings of loneliness, resentment, disappointment, depression, and this explains a lot. Psychopaths can even show empathy when they want to.

I am convinced that not all "bad" people we meet are necessarily psychopaths or sociopaths, in fact they are deeply hurt. And we don't have time to sort out their feelings, because they are disgusting to us (and because, let's face it, we ourselves have been deeply hurt).

We spew out excuses like “So what? We are all sufferers, but this is no excuse at all, ”and in this way we strengthen our confidence in our rightness and continue to torment ourselves.

However, if you are willing to take responsibility for yourself, your life, and your happiness, there is one thing you need to remember:

All cruel, evil, rude people are just like that, because they hurt.

If you want to look behind the veil of this ostentatious cruelty, you need to understand "what hurts." You may have to dig into his past, talk with friends, colleagues to find out why he behaves this way. Well, or just guess.

No matter which approach you take, you are bound to learn something surprising: their behavior is driven by pain.

Perhaps it's family quarrels, problems at work, breakup or divorce, tragedy or something more vague like depression, fear of failure, fear of rejection, low self-esteem, experiences when a person cannot cope with this pain, he directs it on others. And thus the pain is equalized, multiplying.

But it is in your power to interrupt this circle of pain and prevent it from interfering with your thoughts, feelings, life. The most important thing is to learn to see all these mechanisms in your own head and, as a result, to truly understand a person.

The next time someone treats you badly, take your time. Feel all the negative emotions and then let them go. Ask yourself, “What pain is this person experiencing that makes them do this?” Then open yourself to forgiveness and understanding, because all the mental patterns that led to such behavior on his part are or were in you. And the only reason why you can not have them is either a perfect childhood and adulthood or

Main reasons

Psychologists identify three reasons why people are cruel:

Dissatisfaction with life. Persons dissatisfied with their fate are often subjected to stress and depression. These emotions so strongly overwhelm their soul that at any moment they are ready to break free. That is why all the negativity is often splashed out by mothers on children. Some people, under the influence of anger, break branches of trees, beat animals. This state of mind is quite dangerous, because it threatens the owner with the occurrence of neuroses, mental disorders. In addition to all this, constant negativity seriously shortens life expectancy, leads to the development of heart disease or skin problems.
Indifference. Very often it is it that generates unjustified cruelty. Some people do not even try to understand how much pain their actions, and sometimes words, can cause. They don't think about how much they can hurt another. At the same time, a weak creature becomes the object of their cruelty, which cannot show emotions and explain what pain they caused him.
Suppressed emotions. Sometimes a person shows aggression "on the side." Such behavior is characteristic of those who in everyday life are forced to constantly hide and suppress desires, emotions, impulses. Most often, such cruelty is characteristic of grown-up children (especially boys) who grew up in a family of authoritarian parents. Employees who are forced to unquestioningly carry out the orders of the boss, not being able to reveal their will, in some conditions can show extremely cruel ruthlessness.

historical brutality

Relations with relatives

root of evil

Instability in society

Feeling rejected

How to defend the victim

Psychologists say that in a team it is quite easy to determine which people are cruel and who are the “lamb”. Therefore, the victim of aggression is advised to identify the following signs:

lack of self-esteem;
full acceptance of the opinion that trouble is deserved.

As a rule, a hobby for some new business helps a lot. You can even enroll in a martial arts class.

How to deal with your own aggression?

The reasons described above give an idea of why kind people become cruel. But how to deal with such manifestations? What to do if you start to boil internally?

Conclusion

Human society has been constantly and intensively developing for many centuries. Some epochs are replaced by others, progress in all spheres of activity has erected man on the pedestal of the dominant species on planet Earth.

One thing is bad: everything changes on the path of progress, but no one, with all the aspirations, forces and opportunities, could neither prohibit, nor overcome, nor cancel cruelty. This character trait, like many others, manifests itself in different situations, changing a person to unpredictable consequences.

What is cruelty?

Cruelty is selfish selfishness, envy, hatred and malice towards other people, towards life and towards oneself. This is the result of a lack of success in achieving one's own goals and objectives with intentional or accidental harm to everything around.

It's no secret: what you sow, you reap - cruelty breeds cruelty. Causing harm to everything around in order to obtain benefits for themselves, people do not think about the consequences that will not take long to wait.

Forms of manifestation of cruelty

Cruelty has different forms of manifestation: causing physical pain to a living being without any pity and compassion, offensive words, all kinds of actions and even inaction, and often unhealthy fantasies. She finds a loophole in straightforwardness and stubbornness, in mockery and deceit, in anger and unfriendliness, in intolerance for the mistakes of others.

The worst thing is when cruelty brings moral or physical pleasure. This is sadism. Moreover, people, animals, plants, buildings, monuments, transport, places of leisure, etc. suffer from harmful consequences.

Causes of cruelty

People are not born cruel. In society, there have always been norms of behavior, ethics and morality, on the border of which cruelty dozed. Violent people become violent for many reasons:

Overestimated or underestimated self-esteem. Dissatisfaction with life and yourself.
The concepts of morality and morality have lost their power.
Self-affirmation in a distorted form as a misunderstanding of the ways of self-preservation.
Children's fears that survived into adulthood in people who were faced with indifference, cruel punishments and a strict upbringing regime in childhood.
Demonstration of one's greatness and power in humiliating, mocking words, oppression and suppression, violence, murders. Sadism is the highest form of cruelty.
Pride and, as a result, a sense of revenge.
Concealment of personal complexes due to inferiority and weakness.
The manifestation of inhumanity in inaction, the enjoyment of it, the deliberate refusal to help.

Permissible cruelty

To better understand what cruelty is, you need to consider it as a reaction to intolerable circumstances that threaten the existence of a person. And the more violent they are, the more the response goes off scale.

The psychology of cruelty is a fine line on which good and evil balance. Is it possible to be a harmless, sympathetic, compliant person for everyone if you are faced with meanness, injustice, humiliation and insults? I think no. And the cruel ones are feared, shunned, sometimes even respected.

A tough person is a strong personality. Kindness cannot be opposed to cruelty if human life depends on it. Therefore, cruelty must be developed not for violence, but in order to resist it.

Why do cruel people exist? Man by nature is a predator. If you look back at the whole history, then the wars with the most severe destruction of all living things cannot be counted. Therefore, in any developed society, laws are necessary, the violation of which is fraught with severe punishment. Cruelty is an integral part of life, which means that you need to learn to live and fight with it, to look for new models of behavior.

Examples of cruelty in everyday life

Every person at least once asked what is also cruelty, examples of which are found all the time. All media are simply full of reports of atrocities and violence. Television, radio, the press, the Internet, fiction and non-fiction, history books - everywhere you can come across examples of cruelty.

Any historical social system, kings, serfdom, wars, repressions - everything is permeated with cruelty. The cult of cruelty in religions, sacrifice, aggression, intimidation, abuse of power, the off-scale level of crime and impunity, terrorism are also cruelty.

In family life, examples of cruelty can be suppression of the will, energy vampirism, the creation of obstacles to the realization of intellectual, creative and professional opportunities, all kinds of prohibitions in planning offspring, budget, leisure, etc.

And, of course, cruelty to animals is an abyss from which it is impossible to get out. If a person is able to offend a dumb creature, then it is already difficult to call him a person.

What is cruelty in the children's world

Very often, cruelty manifests itself in children who are out of control. The cruelty of children is primarily associated with unfavorable relationships in the family. Lack of respect between family members, frequent quarrels in the presence of children reduce the level of trust in parents, which causes anger and aggression in the child.

Attention, care, patience, frankness will help protect children from cruelty. A personal role model is very important. The absence of cruelty on the part of parents to children and people around them will raise respect in the family to the proper level. Seeing and appreciating a child's personality, taking into account his opinions and interests, trying to see the world through his eyes is the key to success in the eternal problem of fathers and children.

How to overcome cruelty?

Knowing and understanding what cruelty is, you can take certain measures to protect yourself from it. Among them are simple methods and work on yourself:

If you realize that cruelty is evil, then this is the first step towards solving the issue of getting rid of it.
It is necessary to love yourself, people and the whole world around you, thereby getting rid of internal fears.
You need to give to the world what you yourself want to receive: mercy, compassion, kindness.
Increasing self-esteem, striving for success, public recognition is one of the effective ways to combat cruelty.
Restriction of the circle of communication. Surrounded by kind and decent people, the world becomes cleaner.

Thus, cruelty is due to both external and internal factors that are laid in a person from childhood. We talked not only about our own ability to be cruel, but also about the very attitude towards such a manifestation of other people. Therefore, it is necessary to fight and prevent this property of character from childhood, instilling in the child kindness and mercy towards the people around him.

Throughout our lives, we have at least once met a person who, in our opinion, was cruel, angry and decidedly disgusting to us.

Yes, such answers are quite normal and common, however, this view of things is very narrow. These answers are naive, and it's time to better understand why "bad people are bad."

Why do we like to be offended?

What is your reaction?

Once we are fully prepared to let go of our anger and all its charms, we can truly understand why people are so bad. This realization will be of infinite benefit to you.

How to tear off the mask of mock cruelty?

We spew out excuses like “So what? We are all sufferers, but this is no excuse at all, ”and in this way we strengthen our confidence in our rightness and continue to torment ourselves.

However, if you are willing to take responsibility for yourself, your life, and your happiness, there is one thing you need to remember:

All cruel, evil, rude people are just like that, because they hurt.

No matter which approach you take, you are bound to learn something surprising: their behavior is driven by pain.

The current world has become greedy. In other words, this concept can be defined as commercialism, avarice, greed for material wealth, greed. What does greed mean? This is an irrepressible craving for money or material goods, and often they are strangers. As a feeling, this phenomenon can be considered in many life examples.

In religion, greed is considered one of the deadly sins. A greedy person always carries anger towards others, does not trust anyone and avoids deep relationships. This leads to loneliness, when a person can be surrounded by people, but he will understand that he cannot be open to anyone.

Greed pushes people to do many things that they may later regret. Quite often various crimes (thefts, robberies, beatings, etc.) are committed on the basis of greed for material wealth. Modern people create families on the basis of love for money. They are friends with each other because they want access.

Of course, I wonder why people have become so evil and cruel, you might think they used to be different. There is a paradox: people always think that modernity is going to hell, but in the past, yes, it was good there, not like now. Rubbish, not time ... And people partially or completely correspond to time. But still, we will try to consider why people are so bad, and whether this is true.

It is important to understand that the categories of "good" and "evil" are usually relative. Of course, there are absolutely horrendous acts that a Muslim, a Christian and an atheist will equally condemn. But now it's not about that, but about the norm. If we take, for example, murder, then, on the one hand, it is evil, and on the other hand, when a terrorist or a maniac is eliminated, then it is not so evil, from the point of view of an ordinary person.

Or another example. Disputes about the legitimacy of euthanasia as a phenomenon do not stop now. Some shout that a person should die with dignity, and if he is tormented by pain.

Main reasons

Why are there so many cruel people? The answer to this question should be sought in the causes of aggression. It should be noted that the manifestation of cruelty is quite many-sided. However, it is not difficult to recognize her. A person who hurts another by causing suffering, whether morally or physically, fully aware of this and seeking to cause harm.

The greed of people is the love of money, acquisitiveness, greed, in other words, it is an immoderate desire to receive money or other material benefits. In Catholic theology, human greed is considered one of the main flaws, the main vices, mortal sins, since it leads to an increase in troubles and worries, internal anger, unsociableness. In addition, the described vice tirelessly provokes fear of loss and anger.

The word greed is associated with greed (covetousness), which is condemned by all nations. Often this sin serves as a motive for committing a serious illegal act or is the cause of a tragedy.

Feeling of greed

Acquisitiveness or greed is a vice, which consists in the lack of control over a person's own desire to receive material wealth. At the same time, as these very benefits accumulate, the feeling of satisfaction does not appear, on the contrary, greed inflames more and more.

Mankind has come up with 7 deadly sins. Greed is one of them. What is this feeling? Many people confuse greed with greed. It's very close, but not all. Many argue that this is selfishness. Well, greed and this quality includes. The article will talk about what greed means, give examples and consider the problem of this phenomenon.

What is Greed?

What is Greed? You can notice that many people act out of the intention to get something. It is good when a person receives money or any other material benefits. All people need material goods, which is natural in the world of market and economic relations. However, for some people this desire is excessive. They are no longer interested in anything, like the material side of any issue, where they will receive some reward (preferably in monetary terms). This is called greed.

Why are people greedy? Greed gives birth to evil in people, therefore greed is called one of the most impartial manifestations in Christianity: anger, greed and crime are born by greed. Why is it necessary to fulfill the 10 commandments? Only the insatiable greed for knowledge and doing good deeds is justified, but about everything else, see the article below.

Why are people greedy

Under greed, it is most often customary to understand specific personal data:

the desire to have and spend more money on yourself; lack of desire to lose their wealth; desire for accumulation and acquisitiveness.

Sometimes, a completely non-greedy person can show actions that are associated with greed, for example, unwillingness to spend money on themselves or their loved ones - this can be caused by a material situation or a number of circumstances.

Greed has existed at all times - this is a natural quality of character, since material wealth has always determined the level of existence and life.

Concepts of happiness in this world

What is greed? Why are we silent, don't you know what greed is? … Yes, an insatiable desire for the fruits of material labor, greed. What is the reason for the occurrence? What is the reason? The main reason for greed, why? No. What is the main cause of greed? I told you in lectures. This reason is the nature of the soul, what nature, what type of nature, huh? Yes. The soul has such power, it wants to be happy, and this desire is limitless, it has no end. Therefore, a person who sees his happiness in the material, i.e. he believes that the more things he has at home, the more money he has, the happier he will be, then this is greed. Understandable, right?

Greed means our original state: we want to be happy. Therefore, can a person be accused of being greedy? In the same way, how can we accuse each other that we are generally doing the wrong thing here.

Why modern people are so heartless and cruel. Over the past few years, people have become callous and less tolerant.

The National Sociological Research Service came to this conclusion after analyzing the results of a large-scale survey on the relationship between people and the changing social climate in the UK. And this is not the only country where attitudes towards the poor have noticeably worsened.

Every second Briton today believes that the country's social policy is too soft, and the benefits are too large.

One in four is convinced that people have financial difficulties only because they are lazy and slow. Since 1983, when statisticians first conducted such a study, the number of those who believe that the state cares too much about the unemployed and the poor has almost doubled to 54%.

People have become cruel, too cruel. It is especially scary to watch today's news: someone was beaten with bats, someone was tortured, someone was shot, a bomb was dropped on someone ... We are already literally shaking from cruelty, can it really be worse? What is happening with our world? Why do people become angry and cruel? And how, in the end, to stop this bacchanalia of pain, horror and despair?

When the world around you starts to seem wrong, and people are too cruel - this is a signal. Not to the fact that you need to pout, close in the apartment, be afraid of everyone around, be offended or angry. Not! This is a call to action. This is a signal that it is worth changing the world so that it becomes better, kinder.

The sage and the disciple sit at the gates of their city. A traveler comes up and asks:

What kind of people live in this city?
- And who lives where you came from? - asks the sage.
- Oh, bastards and thieves, vicious and depraved ...
- Here, the same, - answered the sage.

After a while, another traveler came up and also asked what kind of people were in this city.
- And who lives where you came from? - asked the sage.
- Fine people, kind and sympathetic, - the traveler has answered.
“Here you will find the same,” said the sage.

Why did you say to one that rascals live here, and to another that good people live here? - the student asked the sage.
“There are good people and bad people everywhere,” the sage answered him. - Just everyone finds only what he can.

Each of us at least once in life faced with the indifference of others. The negative opinion and attitude of another person can hurt, can annoy and even infuriate, but when it is completely absent, this cannot but be alarming. No one wants to face aggressive people, but it's hard to deny: they are alive, they experience emotions. They can be reassured, their problems are usually manageable. But how to react to a person whose look expresses nothing, who feels neither pain nor compassion? The answer is clear enough: be afraid of indifferent people.

It would seem that what is in them? Gray personalities, to which even the word "personality" is difficult to apply. Yes, sometimes they are crammed with knowledge, they can easily retell the plot of a book or film, have a hobby, in a word, be like all people ... But try to talk to them. You will lose interest in what they are saying after the very first phrases, because they will be deprived of a simple human relationship.

if a person does not live for himself, i.e. lives for himself, he will not refrain from greed. Such is the nature of the soul. Sooner or later, he will want to tear as much money as possible, it's only a matter of time. If a person lives for himself, and he thinks: I will live modestly, to whom I do bad things, I am a good person, nothing bad for anyone, I just earn money, I have a salary, that's it, it's only a matter of time when he becomes greedy. Such is the nature of the soul, it is infinite in nature, it cannot stop there. Today is one thing, tomorrow is another. Therefore, there will be no happiness in this, the family lives in peace, it just calmly earns as much as it should, and that's it, no problems.

There comes a moment, and now you all remember your lives, someone, many people had it, the family lives quietly, does not touch anyone, lives for itself, earns honestly, the moment comes, and all this happiness collapses because of greed.

Once a day, a continuous negative of various scales seeps into our lives. The media obligingly report who killed, robbed, and shot down whom. Constantly different sources of information bring to our attention information about new cataclysms, political turmoil. And the positive, in comparison with the amount of negative news, is negligible. A memory is created that there is no good and good in the world at all. Unfortunately, this stream has “littered” the heads so much that now no one even thinks why people are so merciless? How to change it? And is the modern population of the earth really so soulless?

Main prerequisites

Why are there so many violent people? The answer to this question should be found in the causes of anger. It should be seen that the manifestation of ruthlessness is quite many-sided. With all this, it is easy to recognize her. A person who hurts another, forcing them to suffer, not fundamentally, morally or on a physical level, who is 100% aware of this and seeks to cause harm - is cruel.

Psychologists identify three reasons why people are violent:

Dissatisfaction with life. Persons who are dissatisfied with their own fate are quite often subjected to stress and depression. These emotions overwhelm their soul so much that at any moment they are ready to break free. That is why all the negativity is often splashed out by mothers on children. Some people, under the influence of anger, break tree branches, beat animals. This spiritual state is quite unsafe, as it threatens the owner with the appearance of neuroses, psychological disorders. In addition to all this, the constant negativity seriously shortens life expectancy, leads to the development of heart disease or skin dilemmas.
Indifference. Very often, it specifically gives rise to unjustified ruthlessness. Some people do not even try to realize how much pain their actions can cause, and sometimes words. They don't think how much they can hurt another. With all this, the object of their ruthlessness becomes a weak creature that cannot show emotions and explain how much pain they caused him.
Suppressed emotions. From time to time, a person shows anger "on the side." Such behavior is characteristic of those who in daily life are obliged to constantly hide and suppress desires, emotions, impulses. In most cases, such ruthlessness is characteristic of grown children (especially boys) who grew up in a family of authoritarian parents. Employees who are obliged to unconditionally follow the orders of the boss, not being able to reveal their will, in certain conditions can show very cruel cruelty.

Historical ruthlessness

The older generation likes to be surprised - why so many violent people appeared? Everyone was better before. Listening to their complaints, you involuntarily agree. One has only to open a newspaper or look at the announcements.

Earlier people were kinder. Worth thinking about. And before - when? Thousands of years ago, when cannibalism flourished? Well, these people can actually be justified somehow. They were primitive. And they did not know at all about the humane attitude towards their neighbor. Or maybe those who were in the era of the Inquisition were kinder? Or during the reign of Stalin? A huge number of people sat in jails thanks to denunciations. How many such "good-natured people" wholeheartedly tried to give their neighbor a "gift"!

Why, then, does the feeling arise that there are so many hardened people now? Naturally, the media brought their mite. In the era of democracy, they pay more attention to manifestations of ruthlessness. It must be emphasized that the level of humanity among the population of the earth has increased, because anger is so very visible.

Affairs with relatives

It is common for all people to show ruthlessness. For some this happens very rarely. Others often show anger. With all this, anyone can commit a violent act, and quite often such outbursts occur in really good people. Unfortunately, all the negativity spills out on the closest relatives and friends. On those who are really loved and very dear. Why are people so ruthless? What forces them to "tear off" anger at their relatives, and restrain outbursts of anger with those around them? Why is it not possible to keep your behavior under control in a conversation with loved ones?

Yes, because relatives will not go anywhere. Communicating with strangers, a person restrains himself. There are many circumstances: both the desire to win over the interlocutor for oneself, and the fear of losing a fascinating friend. In the case of the boss, intemperance can threaten dismissal. But when you get into the circle of relatives, especially in a bad mood, even one word can infuriate a person. It was then that the scandal flared up out of nowhere. Naturally, this is fundamentally incorrect, but the accumulated negativity requires detente. That is why it pours out on the closest relatives and friends. They, even if they hurt them very much and quarrel with them, adore them so much that they will forgive them anyway.

root of evil

The feeling of anger is given by nature. It is necessary in order to mobilize all forces for the struggle in unsafe moments. But how it will be applied by a person depends on the norms of morality instilled in childhood. If the ancestors show anger towards the child, it will certainly backfire. Relations between children and fathers, based on horror, are most likely to be adopted by the child in conversation with peers. It is in the family that the root of evil should be found. This kind of upbringing explains why people become hardened.

Although in this situation, the baby may develop another model of behavior: he decides that he is bad and will blame everything. Such a child becomes a victim of the fierce appeal of peers. Often he does not even look for ways to protect himself, believing that he deserves something similar.

From time to time, the cause of anger may not be violence at all, but overprotection. This way of upbringing introduces a sense of permissiveness into the subconscious of the baby. The child considers himself the most basic and asks for unconditional submission. Unfortunately, a person who has not been taught by his parents to respect others will not gain this wisdom anywhere else. He won't even see how he humiliates you.

Inconsistency in society

An indirect prerequisite for ruthlessness is growing anxiety. Social inequality, inconstancy give rise to a feeling of discomfort. From the TV screens, people see again the same ruthlessness. A person whose psyche is formed is able to distinguish the grain from the husk, he will not perceive anger as a call to action. The child will absorb, like a sponge, on-screen scenes of violence. And he can perceive all this as some kind of school of life. It is fundamental to understand how similar television hurts the child's psyche, and the answer to the question: “Why have people become bitter?” will be received immediately.

Feeling rejected

It is especially developed during adolescence. But many adults carry these feelings into adulthood. Quite often, you can follow the picture when the baby loudly exclaims on the street and points his finger at a person with a different skin color or with a physical defect.

Adults react completely differently. On a subconscious level, they feel threatened. This is where the desire to self-destruct comes in. But for some it manifests itself in ruthlessness and violence. It is this feeling that sometimes forces teenagers to mock peers who are different from them. Why are people so ruthless? Again, the instilled abilities of tolerance and respect in the family will not allow a child or an adult to behave this way.

How to defend the victim

Psychologists say that in a team it is quite easy to find which people are merciless and who are the “lamb”. Therefore, the victim of anger is recommended to be identified by the following signs:

low self-esteem;
self-doubt;
full acceptance of the notion that problems are deserved.

You should start with understanding your own "I". Any person has a number of pluses and minuses. He is what he is. And no one has the right to offend him. Only by fully accepting this truth can one move further along the path of raising self-esteem, developing a sense of luck. Ancestors can help the child in this understanding. For an adult, since the behavior model has taken root, it is better to use the help of a professional psychologist.

Usually, a hobby for some new business helps a lot. You can even enroll in a martial arts class.

It is very important to think about the reaction to the offender. He will accept you completely differently if the answer is good from his expectations. In some cases, a sense of humor helps. Try not to succumb to irritation and bring a difficult conflict into the mainstream of a joke. With all this, learn to accept the least acutely objectionable situations.

How to deal with your anger?

The premises described above give an idea of why kind people become hardened. But how to deal with such manifestations? What to do if you start to boil internally?

Perfectly cleanse from the negative physical activity. After all, sport teaches conscious control over your feelings and body. Psychologists often advise to master breathing exercises. It will allow you to control both the body and the spirit.

Find a safe way out for the accumulated negativity. Release your emotions with a click. Just not for relatives and not for an employee. Shout where necessary. For example, become a specific football fan or attend rock concerts.

By the way, psychologists advise such a technique: to stand near the railway in the evening. When the train passes, yell at the top of your lungs, as loudly as you can. The noise of the wheels will drown out any sound. No one will hear you, but the body will receive the necessary discharge.

Conclusion

Remember that only you can cope with the feeling of ruthlessness that appears inside you. And this is quite within your power. If you want to find the answer to the question “why are people so merciless”, start with yourself. Analyze your behavior. Get rid of the toxic feeling, because at some point it threatens to grow into a severe depression.

The harsh truth is that inhuman cruelty is peculiar only to man. No animal can compare with man in terms of the power of manifestations of hatred towards his own kind. Why are people so mean?

Every day we see examples of horrific cruelty in the media. Beatings, murders, massacres, torture...

The guy killed the girl because she laughed at him in the company. 122 blows were found on the victim's body. The examination found that the first blow was fatal. A psychiatric examination showed the sanity of the perpetrator.

Where does this inhuman cruelty come from?

The harsh truth is that inhuman cruelty is peculiar only to man. No animal can compare with man in terms of the power of manifestations of hatred towards his own kind. Why are people so mean? Let's try to understand from a scientific point of view.

Man is an animal

Nobel Prize winner German animal psychologist Konrad Lorenz, impressed by the horrors of the Second World War, decided to find out the nature of human aggression. As a zoologist and evolutionary theorist, he decided to start by investigating the nature of aggression in animals. Lorentz found that all animals have mechanisms of hostile behavior towards members of their own species, that is, innate intraspecific aggression, which, as he argues, ultimately serves to preserve the species.

Intraspecific aggression performs a number of important biological functions:

distribution of living space so that the animal finds its own food; the animal guards its territory, aggression stops as soon as the boundaries are restored;

sexual selection: only the strongest male gets the right to leave his offspring; in mating battles, the weak one is usually not finished off, but driven away;

protection of offspring from the encroachment of strangers and their own; parents drive away but do not kill offenders;

hierarchical function - determines the system of power and subordination in the community, the weak obeys the strong;

partnership function - coordinated manifestations of aggression, for example, to expel a relative or a stranger;

feeding function is built into species that live in places poor in food resources (for example, the Balkhash perch eats its own juveniles).

It is believed that the main forms of intraspecific aggression are competitive and territorial aggression, as well as aggression caused by fear and irritation.

Are animals kinder than people?

However, after analyzing the behavior of more than 50 species, Konrad Lorenz noticed that animals that have natural weapons in their arsenal in the form of huge horns, deadly fangs, strong hooves, strong beaks, etc., have developed behavioral analogues of morality in the process of evolution. It is an instinctive prohibition against using one's natural weapons against an animal of one's own kind, especially when the vanquished is showing submissiveness.

That is, an automatic system of stops is built into the aggressive behavior of animals, which instantly works on certain types of postures that indicate dependence and defeat. As soon as the wolf, in a fierce fight for the female, substitutes the jugular vein on the neck, the second wolf only slightly squeezes his mouth, but never bites through to the end. In the battle of deer, as soon as one deer feels weaker, it becomes sideways, exposing the enemy to an unprotected abdominal cavity. The second deer, even in a fighting impulse, only touches the opponent's stomach with its horns, stopping at the last second, but not completing the final deadly movement. The stronger the natural weapons of the animal, the more clearly the “stop system” works.

Conversely, poorly armed animal species do not have instinctive prohibitions against lethal aggression towards their relative, since the harm caused cannot be significant and the victim always has the opportunity to escape. In captivity, when the defeated enemy has nowhere to run, he is guaranteed to die from a stronger opponent. In any case, as Konrad Lorenz emphasizes, in the animal world, intraspecific aggression serves exclusively the purpose of preserving the species.

Lorenz considers a man by nature to be a weakly armed species, therefore, having no instinctive prohibitions on harming his own kind. With the invention of weapons (stone, ax, gun), man became the most armed species, but evolutionarily devoid of "natural morality", therefore easily killing representatives of his own species.

There is one nuance here. We humans, unlike animals, are conscious. This difference hides the root of man's cruelty to man in comparison with the intraspecific aggression of an animal.

Man is an animal that is never enough

The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says that consciousness was formed gradually as a result of the growth of our shortcomings. Animals do not have such a volume of desires as a person, they are completely balanced and perfect in their own way.

Man always wants more. More than he has, more than he can get, and if he got it, then more than he can eat. Lack is when “I want, but I can’t get”, “I want, but I can’t”. It was this lack that made it possible for the development of thought, which became the beginning of a separation from the animal state, the beginning of the development of consciousness.

Dislike as an engine of progress

The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan claims that a person, unlike animals, feels his own uniqueness, separation from another.

For a long time, experiencing hunger and not being able to fill it (our species was the weakest in the savannah - without claws, teeth, hooves), a person for the first time felt his neighbor as an object that can be used for himself, for food. However, having arisen, this desire was immediately limited. In the delta between the desire to use one's neighbor in oneself and the restriction on this desire, a feeling of hostility towards the other is born.

But that's not all, once bursting beyond the limits of the animal volume, our desires continue to grow. They double. Today they bought a Cossack - tomorrow they wanted a foreign car, today they bought a foreign car - tomorrow they wanted a Mercedes. This simple example shows that a person is never satisfied with what he has received.

Our ever-growing desire to receive constantly leads to the growth of dislike. Lorentz proved that animals have an intraspecific unconscious coherent instinct that does not allow intraspecific aggression to destroy the species. For humans, intraspecific hostility still poses a threat to survival - as it is constantly growing. At the same time, it is also an incentive for us to develop. It was in order to limit hostility that we first created the law, then culture and morality.

Why are people so mean? Because they are people!

Man is a lack of pleasure, a desire. Our desires are not satisfied - we immediately feel hostility. Mom didn't buy ice cream: "Bad mom!" The woman does not meet my expectations: "Bad woman!". I feel bad, I don’t know what I want: “Everyone is bad. The world is cruel and unfair! It is not in vain that moral and cultural norms are instilled in a child from early childhood. Mutual assistance, sympathy, empathy for another help us cope with our selfish desires for pleasure.

Today, our desires continue to grow, and the existing constraints on them cease to work. Skin law and visual culture have almost worked themselves out. Today we are rapidly rushing into the future, where a person is no longer moral (because his desires are too high to be limited by morality and morality), but not yet spiritual. Today we are ready to eat anyone, to consume the whole world, if only we were well, real troglodytes - but this does not mean degradation. This is another step in our growth, the answer to which should be the emergence of new level limiters.

The path from animal to human

The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says that in the conditions of increased desires and increased hostility, no restrictions on hostility will work anymore. Our coexistence in the future will be built not on prohibitions, but on the complete disappearance of hostility as such.

In contrast to the awareness of one's uniqueness and the other as an object for saturating one's shortcomings, systems thinking gives an awareness of the other person as oneself, as well as an awareness of the integrity of the human species. This is a new level of consciousness, much higher than the intraspecific animal unconscious instinct. This is the awareness of oneself as a part of all mankind and the awareness of another person as a part of oneself. And, as a result, the inability to harm another. Just as a person cannot harm himself on purpose, so he will not be able to harm another, because he will feel his pain as his own.

In fact, people are not evil and not worse than animals, people are just not yet mature enough. We have grown so much mentally that we invented the hadron collider, but we still have not matured to self-awareness. Daily outbursts of aggression, violation of all norms of morality and morality at the level of entire states are evidence that the time has come.

And stopping aggression is easier than it seems at first glance. You just need to see the underlying causes of what is happening and eliminate them. To understand that the picture of the world around us with cruelty, murders, crimes is the result of the fact that each of us considers himself the only one and feels only his desires. And for the sake of his "I want" he is even ready to kill, if necessary. But the paradox is that even this will not fill a person with happiness. Neither the one who shows aggression, nor the one against whom it is directed, can actually feel joy, and will be equally unhappy.

This can be corrected by realizing the true desires and capabilities of each of us. Understanding the inner potential of a person and his intentions, we will be able to clearly understand what can be expected from our environment and how to most adequately express ourselves among others. When we deeply understand another person and the motives for his actions from the inside, we do not become victims of unexpected aggression, because people's actions become easily predictable and predictable. Moreover, we can consciously choose our environment in which we feel comfortable and safe. It would be ideal if every person in the world could do this and everyone would be happy, but even if this is still far away, it is worth starting with yourself.

You can register for free online lectures on Systemic Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan at the link:

The article was written based on the materials of the training " System-Vector Psychology»

Lately, it is very difficult for me to understand what is happening with people around. Have we changed so much, or has the world changed so much? Is that why we have become so cruel, so sharp with words towards each other? Where does cruelty in people come from?

Why are people so cruel and mean

It would seem that we are fighting for the best and at the same time we do not know how to do it with dignity. We do not know how to do something good without offending the people around us. Many people have so much anger, pride and envy deep down inside that it simply overwhelms them. The most important thing is that those who are most dissatisfied with something most often have all those qualities that they condemn in others.

We do not pay attention to ourselves, we see only other people's shortcomings and problems. And it's so gratifying when something doesn't work out for someone. If we were smarter, we would not rejoice at other people's problems, but would try to help someone who needs it solve them. And if you have a smart and bright head, then you will not emphasize and focus on the fact that someone has failed in something.

Is it really that hard to just be human? Deal with your problems, rejoice in your achievements, help those who need it. Is it really necessary to condemn someone, and indeed to poke your nose into other people's affairs? Why is human nature like this? Why are we always more concerned with other people's affairs than our own? We have no right to judge anyone, because there is no absolute truth, no standard and ideal.

Why are there so many cruel people

Because being dissatisfied, complaining and complaining is always easier than doing something to fix the situation, achieve goals, make your life better. Yes, there will always be those who will be dissatisfied with something, there is simply no way without it, but are there really so few of those who can think with their own minds, assess the situation objectively? If so, then just put yourself in the place of this or that person, and, as they say, stay in his shoes. Then you will see how everything looks from the other side.

Greetings, dear readers! Do you know what percentage of the probability that you will die a natural death, and not from the cruelty of society? I'm sure you're imagining violence and murder right now. But I will disappoint you, ruthlessness and heartlessness also leads to such sad consequences.

The faster a society develops, the more it moves away from its nature and becomes more vulnerable. On the one hand, humanity has become tolerant and humane, on the other hand, the statistics of cruelty in various crimes is going through the roof.

Why does a person become violent? Where does this trait come from in us and can we be saved from it? If you are concerned about the safety of yourself and your loved ones, read this article to the end. This will be your minimum that you can do for the well-being of the whole society.

An atrocity is about people

Recently, we often hear that animals are kinder than people. That a person sometimes behaves like an animal. Cruel, arrogant, dirty, shameless. But here I do not agree with such a comparison, it is at least offensive for animals. And the concept of cruelty is generally applicable only to humans.

Animals do not have a higher mind, they live life only on their natural instincts. We used to think that if they kill their own kind, then they are ruthless and heartless. But they are not naturally endowed with such feelings, unlike humans.

Cruelty is a character trait that is manifested by a ruthless, aggressive attitude towards all living beings, with the aim of causing pain and suffering to them. Not only a person can become a victim, but also any animal, plant.

Who is this cruel person? This is an individual who makes cruelty his way of life. Such a person can easily offend, humiliate, hit or even kill. His demands are inadequate, and if they are not fulfilled, merciless punishment follows, sometimes even physical. He simply does not realize the inadmissibility of such behavior. It has no pity or compassion. And it’s good if such feelings are simply absent, it’s scary when other people’s suffering is a pleasure.

Inaction can also hurt.

Cruelty comes in two forms. Active and passive. If in the first version everything is clear, the individual takes some action, then in the second it is much more interesting.

In the passive form, a person is inactive. For example, when a crowd beats one, a dog attacks someone, or a person drowns.

Of course there might be more. But it is much sadder if a person walks by soullessly, not trying to help and still gloating at the same time.

Inhumanity is manifested through:

verbal aggression
Causing physical pain, violence
Killing a person, animal or even a plant
vandalism
Acts "out of spite"
Anger and hatred of others, eternal accusations of them in all problems
Failure to help those in need

Causes of cruelty

A healthy, adequate person will never understand how you can hurt others and enjoy it. For this reason, we have stuck in our heads that all murderers, rapists and maniacs are mentally ill people.

In fact, only a fraction of them will indeed be with a mental disorder. Those accused of a crime always undergo a psychiatric evaluation before being sentenced. The type of punishment depends on it, it will be a prison term or compulsory treatment. Therefore, it should be assumed that a mentally healthy person is able to consciously show cruelty.

Sometimes it happens that people are specifically looking for a way to become ruthless and cruel. Basically, these are those who have already faced such an attitude towards themselves and believe that the only way to survive is to go to the dark side. This is the first reason why people become violent.

A person has faced a merciless attitude towards himself and considers this the solution to all his problems. There is a disappointment in people and there is a desire to show everyone a “thick skin”.
Also, when a person accepts such behavior as true, as a rule it is children. If a child sees cruelty in his parents, then you should not expect kindness and sympathy from him in adulthood. Character is programmed through childhood. Children do not yet know what is good and bad. Everything is right for them, what their parents do. Also, children under hyper-custody may imagine themselves as "kings" and demand the unquestioning obedience of everyone else.
causes anger and aggression. When a person is not satisfied with his fate, he begins to look for those responsible for this. This is in the ideal case, he comes to the understanding that he himself is the blacksmith of happiness, but usually everything is not so rosy. Bad government, noisy neighbor, boss is a fool, wife is a bitch, children are mediocre. In such a situation, how can you love someone? I don't think so. If you are in constant depression, you hate everyone, and it also seems that they hate you, then of course you will either go crazy or become a maniac.
Mental illness. With such a sore, you can be born, or you can acquire it. Neurological diseases or certain negative life events can lead to such consequences.

Lived better before

The older generation likes to complain and say that the youth are cruel now. That the good loses and the dark side fills the world. At first, of course, I would like to agree, but if we turn to history, then questions arise already to the ancestors.

When were they better? When was cannibalism present? Or perhaps the Inquisition was held in high esteem? And perhaps during the reign of Stalin, when the denunciation was considered a duty? I'm talking about fascism. After all, it did not originate today.

Previously, they simply did not think about why a person becomes cruel. There were other problems. I want to note that now people, on the contrary, have become more humane, because of this, cruelty is very striking.

The mass media and the weakening of censorship play a huge role in life. News reports are constantly full of scary headlines. Turn on the TV, change channels and you will definitely come across at least one that demonstrates cruelty.

Because of this, we also become addicted to cruelty. Finding out every day that someone was killed somewhere, in the end, every person at least once in his life will say, “Killed and killed, what can you do. Life is like that."

The difficult economic situation, the aggravation of relations between states, the information war, the substitution of concepts, mistakes in education, and not only parents, public education is also not ideal. All this affects the mood of society, the weather in the house and relationships between people.

Too kind person is dangerous for himself

Sometimes a person who behaves unfriendly and cruelly seems to us immediately sick. But he is not sick, but his system of values and thoughts.

Practice shows that not everyone who tortured animals in childhood becomes murderers, but all killers did it. After all, technically it will not be difficult to insult, hit or even kill a person, but morally it is very difficult to do so.

But there are people with a very kind soul and sometimes they wonder how to become cruel, cold-blooded and insensitive.

Most often, this is necessary in order to simply stop using them. Sometimes excessive morality and conscience gives a person suffering. He cannot refuse, he has to disregard his desires and needs.

Also, excessive pity for everyone can drive you crazy. Constantly putting oneself in the place of another, feeling sorry for everyone and living through other people's negative emotions prevent a person from learning to protect himself. Aggression is one of the components of the instinct of self-preservation.

Is it possible to cultivate cruelty in oneself? I think it's possible, but it's better not to. I recommend watching a film based on the real events of the Stanford Prison Experiment on this topic. "Experiment", Paul Scheuring. On a voluntary basis, 26 people were locked in the prison, half of them played the role of prisoners, the other half as guards.

Regardless of whether you are a cruel person or a merciful person, you need to work with your emotions and spiritual development. You need to be able to negotiate with yourself.