Women's secrets: why a woman can not get .... anorgasmia

Hello, I’m 16 with my girlfriend, my sex life began recently, I deprived her of her virginity as expected, after a few days we had sex again, but when I proceeded directly to the act, she felt at first a slight pain, and then she didn’t feel anything at all, tell me what is the problem? What can be done in such a case?

Eugene, St. Petersburg

ANSWERED: 05/16/2015

Evgeniy! Probably you should not rush here, let it take some time for your girlfriend to understand what sex is, and then it will be possible to talk about something. By the way, in order to understand her feelings and thoughts on this matter, it is better to turn to her herself. Good luck! ***** http://nlp-ti.ru/stati/ **

clarifying question

ANSWERED: 05/16/2015

No problem Eugene! If a woman is just starting a sexual life, in rare cases, she immediately, at the same time, experiences pleasure from sexual intercourse. Time will pass, experience will accumulate, and with your tenderness, delicacy, understanding and responsiveness, your partner will surely be able to get satisfaction from intimacy! In case of serious problems with this, contact a specialist: a sexologist. Good luck and love to you! http://vitamed-tver.ru/secsolog/

clarifying question

ANSWERED: 05/17/2015 Pokrovskaya Yulia Alexandrovna Moscow 0.0 Neurologist, head department. Psychotherapist

Pay more attention to foreplay so that the partner is well aroused before the act. Remember, the vagina is not the only erogenous zone, pleasure can be delivered in other ways. Just understand that your girlfriend has entered a new time in life, both her psyche and her body must adapt to her. This takes time. And, of course, ask her what she thinks about it, maybe it doesn’t bother her that much, or she understands that time is needed. With care and attention to each other, you will succeed!))

clarifying question

ANSWERED: 05/17/2015 Kantuev Oleg Ivanovich Omsk 0.0 Psychiatrist, psychotherapist, narcologist.

This is the anatomy of Eugene, and there is no cause for concern. It will take quite a bit of time, and everything will be fine with you, both of you!

clarifying question

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I am 28 years old and lost my virginity a long time ago. I have one feature, after the first sexual intercourse, a piece of the hymen began to stick out of the vagina, the doctor said that there was nothing dangerous in this. Now my husband and I are trying to have a baby and we have sex almost every day. So, after one of the last times, I had a strange pain, a feeling that it was this protruding part of the hymen that hurt. This has never happened before, there were no breaks in sexual activity. What does this mean?

sex life is an important aspect of human life. Thanks to it, people not only continue the race, but also become liberated, free their consciousness from the burden of life's problems, and calm down. But only if a person experiences a real orgasm, sexual intercourse gives pleasure and pleasure. In another case, intimate life can even be unpleasant. Problems with orgasm make it difficult to establish relationships with a partner, overload the psyche with additional experiences.

It is known that 58% of marriages break up due to sexual disharmony, which may not even manifest itself clearly. The dissimilarity of characters is put forward as the main argument, although sexual disagreements lie at the heart of an unhappy marriage. And anorgasmia (women don't get an orgasm) is often the cause.

Reasons for the lack of female orgasm

For a woman, the psychological side of sexual relations is very important. If she is tense and cannot relax during intercourse, then an orgasm is out of the question. There can be many factors causing this condition. This is the fear of "catching" a sexually transmitted disease or becoming pregnant, being subsequently "abandoned" by a sex partner.

Reasons for not having an orgasm in such a situation, it can lie in the pathology of the female genital organs, poor blood supply to the organs located in the pelvic area, low sensitivity of the nerve endings located in this area. Some women begin to experience an orgasm only. For others, on the contrary, a harmonious sex life before childbirth cannot improve after the birth of a child. This is due to birth injuries of the perineum and pelvic floor muscles, as well as nerve endings.

However, very often problems with orgasm are not associated with physiological disorders, but with difficulties in relationships.

Sometimes anorgasmia can manifest itself subconsciously, due to a feeling of dislike for men in general. Due to family conflicts that negatively affect mood, dislike for a particular partner may arise, and a woman stops experiencing an orgasm.

In young girls, the lack of orgasm may be associated with the first negative experience, the fear of condemnation of others, it may be oppressed by domestic troubles. If a girl in the family was brought up in strictness, she may develop a sense of guilt because of her sexual impulses, which do not coincide with the settings received in childhood. But a young girl can eventually get rid of this psychological burden by finding a suitable match for herself.

In adulthood, everything is much more serious, and for the answer why a woman does not experience an orgasm, you already need to contact a specialist. Women's fears have taken such deep roots that it is very difficult to overcome them on your own. A sex therapist will explain all the mistakes and give recommendations for a particular case.

Consequences of not having an orgasm

Anorgasmia causes congestion in the female genital organs, which subsequently turns into:

  • menstrual irregularities,
  • uterine bleeding.

Venous congestion in the genitals can lead to polycystic degeneration of the ovaries and the development of uterine fibroids. Changes in the hormonal background contribute to pathological changes in the tissue of the mammary glands.

The woman's nervous system also suffers. Lack of sexual satisfaction can lead to irritability, depression, hysterical states, neuroses, and depression.

What if I don't get an orgasm?

If the lack of orgasm is not caused by psychological reasons and is not associated with the pathology of the genital organs, the problem can be solved using several methods.

The simplest one was developed by the Taoist sages and is a squeezing and unclenching of the vaginal muscles, alternating in speed and strength. Such exercises can be done anywhere and anytime - at your desk, in line, in transport, at home. They help normalize the blood supply to the pelvic organs, revitalize the nerve endings located in this area. If such squeezing - unclenching is carried out up to five hundred times a day, you can quickly solve the problem with orgasm.

The absence of an orgasm can be eliminated by imitating it. After all, any mask worn by a person can influence the inner mood. In other words, if we play any role for a long time, it becomes part of us. The constant image of orgasm with all its states affects the consciousness, which over time will program the fact of pleasure and will translate it into reality.

Erotic fantasies during intimacy can also be attributed to such stimulation.

Before entering into sexual intercourse, it is desirable to be more aroused. This can be facilitated by Taoist exercises and foreplay. It is necessary to relax as much as possible, concentrating only on your own feelings, to discard extraneous thoughts. To completely relieve tension, breathing should be deep. Feeling the approach of orgasm - squirming and moaning, this liberates the body, then causing pleasure. During intimacy, you do not need to focus specifically on orgasm, this makes it difficult to perceive pleasure from it.

With physiological disorders, therapy is necessary for the cause that caused this condition. In this case, drug treatment, physiotherapy, gynecological massage, acupuncture are used. The psychological aspect, trusting relationship with the doctor and the desire to be treated are very important. After all, a full sexual life is the key to the mental and physical health of every woman.

anonymous , Male, 19 years old

Good day, by chance I decided to seek advice from specialists. I will briefly describe the situation - my girlfriend and I are 19 years old, we have been dating for six months, sex began 3.5 months ago. Not exactly regular. Once every 2-3 weeks. The girl was a virgin. The first 2-3 times: during defloration and 1-2 times after - she was in pain, experienced discomfort. There was no question of any pleasure on her part. Further, the pain sensations disappeared, but did not change with special sensitivity. Already for 4-5 times she experiences discomfort at the "entrance", after which they disappear and complete "sensitive apathy" sets in. In her words, she feels the presence of something inside her, but she feels absolutely no pleasure, and sometimes she doesn’t feel anything inside herself at all. Neither I nor she have the slightest idea what the problem might be and when all this will stop, or even if it will stop at all. If possible - please, tell me - what should we do? Or how about it?

Good afternoon, The ability to experience an orgasm is the same skill as the ability to walk and talk, do not believe it, but our brain also needs time to figure out how to learn it. Your girlfriend has not yet "taught" her brain to understand how to experience an orgasm from stimulation of the main deep erogenous zones (points G, A, K, U) and they are still in a "sleeping" state, that is, their sensitivity is extremely low and the brain cannot correctly interpret their stimulation, he has so far learned to perceive only the stimulation of the clitoris. I advise you to awaken her sensitivity, first stimulating during masturbation not only the clitoris, but also the deeper erogenous zones of the vagina (pleasant sensations from the stimulation of which she does not yet feel) with a vibrator, over time they will become more receptive to stimulation and it will be easier for her to experience an orgasm from sex with a partner. But take your time, first she must learn to feel her body on her own, find out what types of stimulation and what zones she likes best, find out what fantasies excite her and how it is easier for her to tune in to an excited and relaxed state. When she can track all this and confidently understand her body, she should tell you how and where it is better to stimulate her. And at the last stage, jointly awaken the still unawakened erogenous zones using the "bridge" technique - alternately stimulate the awakened zone and the still sleeping one (somewhere in a month of such practice, sleeping erogenous zones begin to be more sensitive). The female orgasm is not only a mechanical irritation of the external genital organs, but also the corresponding state of the woman's psyche and hormonal system. For example, during ovulation, you are more easily aroused and get an orgasm faster, and during it is almost impossible to get an orgasm, because your hormones are below normal levels. Also, if a woman is upset or very excited about something, she will not be able to concentrate and relax, hence the lack of orgasm, so pay attention to small details and the right attitude towards intimate relationships. Relaxed and excited state + corresponding period of the cycle + awakened erogenous zones and vaginal orgasm will not take long. Do not worry too much, this is a fairly common problem in women and it is easily corrected with the right approach. I also advise you to train intimate muscles with Kegel exercises and vaginal balls.

In the modern world, the topic of the female orgasm is discussed regularly. Numerous discussions about this are taking place not only on the Internet, but also on central television. Despite the popularization of this issue, it remains incomprehensible to most men who still cannot understand why a woman does not cum during sex.

How to find the reason

Establishing the exact reason why a woman does not finish is not as easy as it might seem. The thing is that such female sexual dysfunction can be caused by completely different factors, such as a moral barrier, hormonal failure. The doctor-sexopathologist will help to determine the problem most accurately, and then eliminate it, who should be contacted immediately if there are problems of a similar plan. Perhaps our article will help you, from which you will learn about the main ones that do not cum during sex.

anorgasmia

Anorgasmia is a condition familiar to many girls. During intercourse, a woman is able to experience some satisfaction, pleasure. However, she cannot enjoy the highest degree - an orgasm. Many researchers, to this topic, equate anorgasmia with frigidity. The symptoms are really very similar, but a frigid woman is not even able to get excited by the touch of a sexual partner, while with anorgasmia they enjoy, but not as strong as we would like. Let's look at what types of anorgasmia exist, and also find out why a woman does not always finish.

Types of anorgasmia

There are two types of anorgasmia: primary and secondary. Women suffering from the first type of disease never experienced orgasm. Those who have a secondary lack of orgasm have previously finished during intercourse, but emotional trauma, such as a bad sexual experience or rape, has drastically affected their sex life, making it impossible to experience the highest level of pleasure.

Anorgasmia is divided into:

  • Relative. A woman can have an orgasm, but only in a certain position and with a specific partner.
  • Absolute. A woman is not able to enjoy either intimacy with a man or masturbation.
  • Partial. A woman cannot cum while having sex with a man, but she is able to bring herself to orgasm by masturbating and stimulating her erogenous zones.

Causes of anorgasmia

Most of those ladies who stop getting satisfaction from sex do not even try to find the answer to the question: “Why does a woman not finish during intercourse?” They prefer to come to terms with what is happening, which often leads to rather sad consequences.

As everyone knows very well, it can turn into a real monster, which will constantly “growl” at all family members, remain dissatisfied in any life situation. Until this happens, you need to contact a sexologist who will determine the cause of anorgasmia, and also determine the most effective treatment in a particular case.

There are many reasons that contribute to the emergence and development of anorgasmia, but they can be divided into two groups: psychological and physiological.

Psychological reasons

Often men ask the question: “Why do some women finish and others don’t?” Without realizing that it is in them that the root of the problem lies. Some sexual partners can provoke the development of dysgamy in women. Dysgamy is a situation where there is absolutely no harmony between people who have sexual intercourse. As a rule, this is due to the incompatibility of the temperaments of sexual partners.

Premature ejaculation can provoke the appearance of dysgamy. Some women take a long time to experience an orgasm. Even if a man quickly reaches orgasm, sexual intercourse can be extended, for example, with the help of foreplay.

Psychological problems that flow into anorgasmia can be rooted far back in childhood. As statistics show, women who have problems with sexual life and do not understand why a woman does not finish during sex were very often brought up in strict families. They are in constant tension, afraid to do something wrong, they cannot fully trust their partner. All this leads to the fact that a woman cannot enjoy intimacy.

Often, girls who practice such a method of contraception as interrupted sexual intercourse suffer from anorgasmia. This is not surprising, because they have to constantly monitor the process and only think about how not to miss the most crucial moment so as not to get pregnant. The constant fear of being in a position makes it impossible to enjoy intimacy.

Physiological causes

Anorgasmia can not only appear as a result of any stress, but also be the result of various diseases: diabetes mellitus, multiple sclerosis. At risk are girls who have gynecological pathologies. Very often, anorgasmia develops during childbirth or in the postpartum recovery period, after surgery in the pelvic area, due to infections and lag in sexual development, and also due to hormonal failure.

Sometimes girls stop experiencing pleasure after taking potent drugs. It is no secret to anyone that drugs affect not only the source of pain. Thus, getting rid of one disease, we can quietly acquire a new one. Often the question: “Why can’t a woman finish?” is asked by ladies who have been taking antihistamines, high blood pressure pills or antidepressants for a long time.

Bad habits negatively affect the female body: smoking, drinking alcohol or drugs. If your partner abuses alcohol, then you should not even be surprised why a woman does not cum from a penis, as well as from stimulation of erogenous zones during masturbation.

Menopause can also seriously affect a woman's sex life, depriving her of the ability to experience an orgasm. During complex processes associated with the restructuring of the body during the last independent menstruation, estrogen in the blood decreases significantly, which affects the level of sensitivity not only of the clitoris or nipples, but also of the vagina.

Treatment of anorgasmia

Before turning to professionals for help, it is necessary to realize the seriousness of the problem. Often, most girls who are looking for an answer to the question: “Why don’t some women finish?” Do not consider such a pathology to be a disease. However, a frivolous attitude to one's own body can play a cruel joke.

It should be remembered that today there are effective methods of dealing with anorgasmia, and the sooner you turn to a doctor, the sooner you can return to a normal sexual life. We recommend not postponing the solution of this issue until later, since marriages in most cases break up due to a lack of harmony in intimate relationships.

A sex therapist will help you get rid of anorgasmia, who will be able to tell you as clearly as possible about how the body works, how the female reproductive system works. After talking with a professional in your field, you will realize how to better understand your sexual partner, what to do in order to give each other maximum pleasure. And you can also get rid of a lot of unnecessary complexes that have created certain barriers for you for a long time.

Going to an appointment with a sex therapist, be prepared to answer the most unexpected and frank questions. For example, the doctor might ask about:

  • how long there was no orgasm;
  • does she feel being in bed with her beloved man;
  • At what age did she start having sex?
  • whether the woman is satisfied with the current relationship and her sexual partner;
  • whether her parents talked to her about sex when she was in her teens.

A patient who turned to the doctor with the question: “Why doesn’t a woman finish?” It is necessary to be extremely honest during the conversation. Only by collecting all the necessary information, the sex therapist will be able to prescribe the correct and effective drug treatment.

Frigidity

Men, not understanding why a woman does not finish vaginally, are often in a hurry to accuse their sexual partner of frigidity. Unfortunately, a similar diagnosis exists in medical reference books, it means a decrease in sexual desire. A woman may be indifferent to sexual intercourse or even feel disgust for it. However, as practice shows, the percentage of women with a similar pathology is extremely low. The most common type of anorgasmia.

There are several types of frigidity: symptomatic, primary frigidity (constitutional), retardation and psychogenic.

constitutional frigidity

The primary type is faced by women who have a poorly developed sensual component of sexual desire. Girls who have delays in the development of sexual sensuality also very often suffer from symptoms of retardation frigidity.

Symptomatic frigidity

If you had everything in order in terms of intimacy with men, but after some time you stopped experiencing pleasure and are looking for an answer to the question: “Why doesn’t a woman finish?”, We recommend that you contact a gynecologist. After all, frigidity can be the result of gynecological diseases. Often during the course of the disease, some organs from the reproductive system become inflamed, which leads to a decrease in sensitivity.

Symptoms indicating the appearance of this type of frigidity may appear due to bad habits if a woman uses alcohol or drugs.

Psychogenic frigidity

According to statistics, the largest number of women who do not get satisfaction from sex suffer from psychogenic frigidity. There are a lot of reasons contributing to the appearance of the first symptoms and the development of the disease itself. For example, one of the factors may be the fear of getting pregnant from a partner in whom the woman does not see the father of her children. Most girls who have experienced sexual violence stop enjoying intimacy.

Psychogenic frigidity can develop after an abortion or a bad sexual experience with one of the partners, especially if he showed excessive rudeness during intercourse. According to official statistics, more than 60% of women experience chronic sexual dissatisfaction.

The presence of a latent homosexual attraction cannot be ruled out. Perhaps a woman who does not get satisfaction in bed does not want a man at all. Complexes that are deeply embedded inside can become a barrier to success. It is important to get rid of them, to get away from them if it interferes with enjoying the relationship.

How to get rid of frigidity?

If all symptoms indicate the development of psychogenic or symptomatic frigidity, we recommend that you seek help from a doctor who will prescribe the necessary medications. Rest will not be superfluous. Take a vacation and spend it in the company of your beloved man. If vitamins and maximum relaxation did not give results, then make an appointment with a psychotherapist-sexologist.

Most importantly, do not hide the problem that has appeared, as many women do. Remember that harmony during intercourse is the key to a strong and happy relationship.