How to tell the boss that he is wrong? How to build a relationship with the boss - be smarter than the head of the tyrant How to explain to the leader that he is right.

The boss made a serious mistake, and colleagues are afraid to tell him about it. Experts will tell you how to take the initiative into your own hands and at the same time not lose your job.

Don't be afraid to criticize

You must understand that criticizing the boss is not only possible, but even necessary. We are accustomed to perceive criticism as something deliberately negative, and the criticizing party is considered by default to be the initiator of the conflict. You need to get rid of this illusion. If there is a real problem that your co-workers don't dare to voice, don't be afraid to take the lead.

Criticism should be such that the boss does not suspect that you doubt his competence. Your comments should indicate loyalty and a desire to help. Remember that properly presented criticism will never cause aggression in a person.

Be objective

Most often, criticism turns into an emotional release, a showdown, and that is why it does not have the desired effect.

To avoid this, you must be as objective as possible. And it doesn't matter who you criticize - a child, a friend or a boss. First of all, you must explain to the person his mistakes. Tell what this or that action led to, what consequences it had specifically for you, but in no case use emotional comments.

Avoid negative definitions and evaluations that may hurt and offend your opponent.

Make claims clear

You can come to the boss and declare from the threshold: “You fired my employee. Who do you want me to work with now? Starting your speech with such words, you will immediately make two mistakes: firstly, this is an accusation and a negative assessment of the actions of the boss, and secondly, a hidden order to find a new employee for an empty vacancy.

You can say in another way: “Now I don’t have a specialist, since you have reduced the previous employee. Perhaps it would be better to leave him, but with a lower salary. Such a phrase will sound much more appropriate and will be good advice for the future. Perhaps next time the boss will really think about what these or those of his actions can lead to.

Suggest an alternative

If you dare to criticize your own boss, then, apparently, you have a good reason for it and want to achieve a certain result. In most cases, people go to criticize without having alternative proposals, but only with a desire to express their claims. If you are not satisfied with the way your boss is acting, you need to offer him an adequate alternative. If the proposal is really worthwhile, the boss will not only not be offended by your criticism, but will also be grateful that you pointed out to him something that escaped his attention.

Don't get on your nerves

In no case do not try to criticize the boss, or indeed anyone else, when a person is excited or too emotionally stressed. If in the case of a colleague you run the risk of simply running into an aggressive response and provoking a conflict, then with the boss we can talk about much more serious consequences - up to and including losing your job. Being in an excited state, your boss simply will not be able to switch his attention to other things, no matter how well you present your arguments and no matter how brilliant the idea is given to him.

FinExecutive Russia website 2019-12-23

How to defend your point of view when the boss is wrong

Arguments at work are always a test. At the same time, it is one thing if you defend your position in a confrontation with a colleague and it is completely different when you have a dispute with a manager. After all, not every boss is ready to admit he was wrong and adequately perceive your perseverance. And then you can say goodbye to a successful career in this company ...

A good boss is a gift from heaven that has the potential to change your life for the better. Conversely, many of us know that a bad leader can cause anxiety, headaches, and stress. It's easy to love great bosses and try to avoid bad ones, but there's a type of boss that's much more difficult to build a relationship with. It's about the boss who is not ready to defend your interests.

You may not even know that you are dealing with him. Most cases of intercession occur without your direct participation. As the saying goes, 80% of what is said about you is said in another room. Bosses who are not ready to stand up for a subordinate may not mention your name in a favorable way when discussing upcoming promotions. They can hide important criticisms from you and hinder your professional growth. In addition, they can frankly harm your career.

Often, when it becomes clear that your boss is not ready to defend your interests, the first impulse is the desire to tell about your own merits. Often this response is wrong. An overabundance of overt self-praise in the workplace can turn against you and give the impression that you are a selfish narcissist with no concern for the greater good. Ideally, you want to be praised by colleagues. But before you start working with the lack of positive characteristics, try to understand why the boss does not want to speak positively about you.

First of all, think that perhaps the problem is with you. In other words, chances are you don't have such a bad boss - you just haven't developed or demonstrated the skills necessary for your boss to start helping you move forward. Observe the characteristics and accomplishments of your successful peers to see where you need to work on.

Get ahead of the curve and ask your boss what qualities you need to demonstrate to get their support. You can also turn to a coach who can help you get positive feedback from your superiors. If you ask your boss for advice and start putting his recommendations into practice, he may be more inclined to put in a good word for you.

When I first started teaching at the School of Management. Kellogg at Northwestern University, I met with the dean to get an idea of ​​her hopes for me and then set the right path for professional growth. Without these meetings, you may not meet your boss's expectations for a promotion, and you may not even know it.

Let's say you're an excellent employee whose performance exceeds all expectations. In this case, if your boss does not advocate for your career growth, it may really be about him. It's not necessarily your fault, but it's definitely your problem. It is in your best interest to develop an effective career advancement strategy.

There are three steps you can take to eliminate the lack of positive characteristics.

Get rid of disappointment. As unfair and irritating as your boss doesn't help you get promoted, it's in your best interest not to take it personally. His unwillingness to support you can be due to countless reasons. Perhaps he is not confident in himself and sees you as a competitor. Or suffers from an unconscious bias that results in unfair assessments of your work and growth potential. Or maybe he's still trying to help you get promoted, but he doesn't have the social capital or credibility to succeed. Perhaps he really does not want to take care of your interests. In any case, it is useless to try to force the boss, manipulate him or appeal to his conscience. Let go of anger or resentment.

Find another protector. Ideally, your immediate supervisor should initially take care of your interests, but he is not the only person in the company who can do this. There are many other authorities who can give you the support you need. Try to find and enlist the support of high-ranking employees in order to cope with the lack of positive characteristics. The ideal guarantor is an influential person in a responsible position. At the right moment, he will mention you in a conversation with the right people. Your guarantor should become your supporter within the company - and sometimes beyond.

Many people confuse such people with mentors. In short, mentors are your advisors, and sponsors help you accelerate your professional growth. Avoid the danger of getting stuck under the yoke of mentoring and at the same time not getting the support of defenders. This is especially important for women and members of ethnic minorities. Studies show that for them, hard work alone is not enough to be noticed by their superiors.

Backers usually choose their protégés themselves, so you should take a number of strategic steps and try to get their interest rather than asking for intercession. For example, start demonstrating exceptionally high performance metrics. Participate in prefabricated project teams, join cross-functional teams from different departments of the organization. By making a difference and helping to realize important strategic projects, you will gain useful skills and new experience, as well as meet new people. In this way, you will create a reputation for yourself as a reliable, growth-oriented leader who is interested in realizing the company's goals. Make it clear that it is in the best interest of the organization to offer you a promotion.

Get useful contacts in the company and beyond. The truth is that the most successful leaders have what I call "all round support." They receive it from managers, colleagues and direct reports. Don't underestimate the importance of positive references from your colleagues or employees. If you treat others well and strive to be fair, they may become your advocate. You can also earn extra points in your favor by becoming an active citizen in your industry or community. You never know who has what connections. Sometimes building a positive image outside of the office helps the company understand your value.

We all need people who are willing to put in a good word for us when we can't recall our own positive qualities. And a situation in which your boss refuses to act in such a role can be an important challenge. However, it should not slow down your career advancement and professional growth. It is likely that only one project or one conversation separates you from being noticed by the authorities, interested in your work and seeing the potential in you.

Nicholas Pierce

The inability to refuse unpleasant assignments, uninteresting or someone else's work turns life into torment. It is especially difficult to refuse a boss - only courageous and self-confident people are capable of this. How to stand up for your rights without the risk of losing your job.

There is a breed of people who are called trouble-free. They can not only boss, but also friends, relatives, acquaintances. Some of them even take pride in being constantly asked for. This gives them the opportunity to feel needed, needed, and amuses their pride. Such people often "run ahead of the locomotive" themselves and ask for all sorts of assignments.

However, among those who agree to all requests, the majority still does it against their will. They do not dare to refuse and obediently say “yes”, because otherwise they will be tormented by guilt, gnaw at themselves, engage in self-criticism. It's easier for them to agree.

True, having said “yes”, they also experience internal dissatisfaction, because they probably had other plans or they absolutely do not want to do what they are now forced to do. But they, like those mice (or hedgehogs) who cried, pricked themselves, but continued to eat the cactus, agree to do what they don’t like.

In 1979 director Georgy Danelia made the film "Autumn Marathon" starring Oleg Basilashvili. His hero, already a middle-aged talented translator Andrei Buzykin, is used by everyone who is not lazy. In an effort not to offend anyone with a refusal and to help everyone who asks, he is literally torn to pieces. He does not have time for his favorite pastime, for his personal life, because the alarm clock rings again, reminding him that it is time to run to someone's call, on other people's business. In fact, saying "yes" to others, he says "no" to himself and his desires, lives someone else's, and not his own life.

It is especially difficult for such people to their boss. However, only brave people can afford to refuse the request of the boss. After all, his request, as a rule, is not so much a request as an order. And orders, as they say in the army, are not discussed, but implicitly carried out. So many bosses are waiting for their subordinates to rush to fulfill their request, like an order, without entering into discussions and bickering. And in most cases this is what happens. “No” will be said only by those who know their worth well and are sure that if they fall out of favor and fly out of work, they will find another one without any problems. (Of course, this is not about the immediate duties of the employee, but about the additional burden.)

The boss himself is well aware of who can be charged with additional responsibilities, and who is better not to touch. He makes his choice and stops it on a trouble-free executive employee, who, he is sure, will break into a cake, but will complete the assignment.

How not to become a scapegoat

1. Why me again?

We suddenly found ourselves in a special love with the boss: he enters the office to offer overtime, and his eyes immediately fix on us. And this does not mean at all that the boss is more disposed towards us than towards the rest of the employees. He just knows that we will get down to business without further ado, even to the detriment of our own interests. And now we are already calling home: “Sorry, dear, today I have to stay at work. So what if it's your birthday! You don’t want me to be left without a job?”, “I simply have to go on this business trip! And don't be jealous of me."

Often, bosses accompany their requests with flattery: “You, and only you, are able to cope with this task!”. And now we are firmly sitting on his hook. We will not be able to refuse him and next time, it will be inconvenient for us not to justify the trust.

Let's ask ourselves: why always me? Because, figuratively speaking, the executioner is looking for a victim, and the victim attracts the executioner. We ourselves have chosen the role of an unfailing victim. And if we don’t want to run errands for someone for the rest of our lives, we must get out of this role.

How to make sure that both the wolves are fed and the sheep are safe? How to refuse the boss and win the right to privacy tactfully, maintaining dignity and not throwing tantrums? There are several options.

2. Just say "no"

Social psychologist Susan Newman wrote the book Say No to Manipulators. In her opinion, only those who get rid of their habit of agreeing to everything and can succeed. The one who always says “no” to everyone, including the boss, will achieve more because he is focused. Constant agreement will easily destroy both the reputation and the career, because the employee, due to the many responsibilities, will not be able to perform the main work in a quality and timely manner and will lose confidence. A straightforward “no” can be replaced with a softer phrase: “If you don’t mind, I will refuse.”

However, interns, lower and middle managers, those who are on probation and are not sure about the strength of their positions, it is better to wait a while with the refusal and agree, especially if the request concerns labor activity. However, many of them usually agree to assignments that are very far from her, in the hope that this is temporary. So, the daughter of one friend, who graduated from a university with honors, was loaded by the boss during working hours with requests of a personal nature: pay for utilities, pick up his child from school, etc. . As it turned out, for the better - the new work corresponded to her abilities and expectations.

So, before you say “no”, it’s worth mentally evaluating the possible consequences of a refusal and how ready we are for them.

3. Always say yes

Another option is to act like a diplomat who does not say directly and firmly: “No!”. If he is approached with an unwanted request, he will say: “Yes, I agree. When I have free time, I will help you.” Or: "Okay, let's discuss the conditions under which this will be possible."

The expression “Never say never” can be rephrased as: “Never say no.” The life of the hero of the movie “Always Say Yes” changed dramatically for the better as soon as he got rid of the habit of immediately refusing. Of course, the situation is exaggerated in the film, but there is a rational grain in it.

4. "I will think"

Some people have a slow reaction time and cannot immediately figure out what to say, so they immediately blurt out “no” just in case. Subsequently, they often have to regret it, but, as they say, the train has already left.

It would be more reasonable to say: “I need a little time to think”, “I don’t want to let you down, so before I give an answer, I need to review my plans.”

5. Fake misunderstanding

In some cases, you can "turn on" misunderstanding. We carefully listen to the request, showing our readiness to proceed with its implementation. After that, we say that we want to delve into the essence of the task in more detail, so we have a number of questions that we want to clarify: what is the algorithm of our actions, who can we contact if consultation is needed, etc. In theory, the boss should burst patience, and he will entrust this task to someone else.

However, using this technique is fraught with consequences: the boss will either suspect that we are playing the fool, or doubt our adequacy.

6. Refusal must be reasoned

The phrase "No, because I'm busy" sounds unconvincing, but it's also not worth going into lengthy explanations of why we cannot comply with the request of the boss. Nobody will listen to them. Let us briefly note that we would very much like to help, but now we are busy with this and that, and we will ask the boss himself.

Nothing prevents us from being cunning if the task involves overtime work, which, moreover, is not yet paid. Just in case, it’s better to have a ready-made answer, then it will look more believable: “Sorry, but my tooth hurts and I made an appointment with the dentist.” Or “Unfortunately, I can’t, I ordered a car to transport my mother’s things.” Lots of options. Perhaps the boss will suspect that this is just an excuse, but will not show it.

You can offer an alternative: “Today I can’t do anything, but maybe I will be useful at another time.”

In any case, it’s better to show your diplomatic skills (the boss will appreciate them) than to refuse in a rude manner like: “I don’t get paid for this”, “This is not part of my duties”, “Look for other fools”, etc. In response, the boss remains just say: “Good riddance! There are no irreplaceable people, and they weren’t fired like that.”

7. Observe colleagues

How they respond to excessive requests from the boss, and learn from their experience. It is important to make an allowance for the fact that the team may have been established for a long time and what is allowed by one, for example, some familiarity in relationships, will be strange to see and hear from a new employee.

8. "Bargaining is appropriate"

Constantly loading us with new tasks, which we nevertheless successfully cope with, the boss may simply not think about the fact that we are doing this at the expense of personal time, health and nerves. So let's draw his attention to this fact and discuss the situation together! We are not saying no, we just want to discuss the conditions under which we will continue to work.

Those who value themselves are valued by others. The one who resignedly carries the load is loaded with more, as if testing his capabilities. The consequence of a conversation that took place in a delicate form can be mutually beneficial. The boss will not lose a competent employee, and the employee will receive some benefits for overtime work, for example, an increase in salary, time off, a free schedule, etc.

After all, people treat us the way we allow them to treat us.

9. Is it advisable to say “no”?

Who knows, perhaps, by refusing the assignment, we also renounce the prospects that would open before us if we agreed. For example, in an effort to quickly finish our work, we did not go to a seemingly boring meeting. And the one who did it instead of us was offered a new interesting project there.

Only those who are not interested in career advancement can resort to constant refusals.

The one who believes that it is useless or harmful to contradict the leader is mistaken. You need to convey your point of view to him. But you have to do it wisely.

Should I tell my boss that he is wrong?

Undoubtedly. But this requires care and caution. After all, it is known that in order to win a war, you need to choose the right place, time and strategy for each battle. And not to make plans based on the very dubious assumption that the enemy is dumber than us ...

“There is no doubt that you are taking some risks when you challenge your bosses,” writes William Treasurer, a relationship consultant at work and author of A Worthwhile Risk. “However, there is a hidden potential in such behavior. If what you say to your boss is good for the business, they will eventually appreciate your dedication and will trust the information you provide.”

In order to properly behave in a dispute with the boss, you need to carefully consider in what form you will present your opinion to him. At the same time, it does not matter what position you occupy (a representative of the administration of an institution or an ordinary employee), the main thing is that your position is constructive, reasoned and independent.

Even if you are absolutely sure that your assessment of events is correct and justified, you still need to express it in such a way that the boss does not feel "cornered" or offended. Otherwise, for your courage, you risk paying a career.

Let's take a look at a specific, fairly common situation at work.

Let's say the management of the company you work for unexpectedly changed its business policy, and you think that innovations will only hurt the development of the business. What to do? How do you behave?

First of all, it should be remembered that it takes some time to find out how much the new course is able to justify itself. Negative effects do not appear immediately, they accumulate gradually, day after day. In addition, changes in company policy, as a rule, are accompanied by all sorts of difficulties and frictions. Therefore, before launching your offensive, you need to wait, giving this new course a real chance to show its potential. It may happen that your first impression turns out to be wrong, and, thanks to the new policy, the business will eventually go uphill.

If you've been invited to a production meeting to discuss the problems that arise in the way of implementing a new policy, deal with your negative emotions. If you are so angry and indignant that your only desire is to smash the position of the boss to smithereens, even before the meeting begins, discuss your grievances with a colleague whom you trust and with whom you are on friendly terms. If there is no such person near you, record your “fiery speech” on tape, and, when finished, listen to it and evaluate your argument as if from the outside. Most likely, you will want to radically “edit” it, coming up with new, more convincing arguments in criticism of the leadership’s policy.

Before launching an attack, ask your superior if he is willing to listen to your concerns. Most people don't like nasty criticism coming out of the blue. Therefore, it is necessary to preface your speech with a correct warning. Try to choose the most appropriate moment for such a conversation. You should not, for example, start an argument with the boss at a time when he is overwhelmed with current work, or is busy solving some non-innovation problems.

If you don't get permission to speak, step back and try again another time.

If your prepared speech is a rambling complaint, don't start a conversation. It is necessary to carefully, to the smallest detail, think over what goals you are pursuing when starting a conversation, what you want to achieve. If you are given the floor, do not deviate from the topic, back up your speech with specific data that proves you are right.

“It is often employees who are most familiar with the day-to-day problems that arise in the enterprise,” says management consultant John Baldoni (Michigan). “They are the ones who have factual information that may not reach the person holding a senior position in the company's administration. In the desire to prove the failure of a new idea, it is important to use not only your own experience, but also the opinions of colleagues. Then the arguments put forward will become more weighty.

“You can tell your boss whatever you want,” advises career planner Deborah Brown (D-NY), “as long as you start the conversation with positive information and emphasize the positive qualities of the person being criticized throughout it at every opportunity. you politicians. But, if in a conversation with the leader you behave aggressively, throwing accusations, your mission is obviously doomed to failure.

Let's go back to the situation at the meeting. Listen carefully to the opinions of other employees. And try to call the boss to discuss the problem that worries you. When you get the floor, don't turn your speech into a long monologue. Try to listen most of the time and talk less. Do not rule out the possibility that, having changed the course of development in a certain way, the company's management was guided by motives about which you know nothing. By demonstrating a willingness and ability to listen, you thereby prove that you are sincerely concerned about the situation of the enterprise, and as a result, you will gain the trust of your boss. In addition, you will be able to better understand emerging trends in your company. And you might change your mind.

However, do not miss the moment when the leader puts an end to this process.

Translation of evrey.com

Rate this post