3 year old baby. "I do not want! I won't! No need! I'm on my own!" - Crisis of the age of three: signs of a crisis and how to overcome it

3 years is an important date in the life of a child and his parents, and many child psychologists and pediatricians consider this age to be a transition between infancy and childhood. Indeed, at the age of 3, the baby is already quite independent - he knows how to talk, is oriented in everyday life, he can eat food on his own, wash himself and find something to do. Most parents of three-year-olds do not quite clearly imagine what a child should be able to do at 3 years old, because some children at this age already read, while others still speak with difficulty. Of course, there is not and cannot be an absolute norm of development, but there is a certain minimum of knowledge and skills that every 3-year-old child should have.

Physical development of a child at 3 years old

The height and weight of a child at 3 years old depends not only on the pace of his development and the health of the baby, but also on racial and hereditary predisposition. Boys at 3 years old weigh from 13.5 to 17 kg, and girls - from 13 to 16 kg. The growth of children is considered normal if it is in the range of 86 - 100 cm.

At the age of 3, the child's day regimen should not change dramatically, he still needs 10-11 hours of sleep at night and 1-1.5 hours of rest during the day. But observing the sleep and rest regimen, making three-year-olds sleep, with tears and a scandal, is also not worth it - such a dream instead of rest will become a real punishment for the baby, if the child categorically does not want to sleep, it is enough to put him to lie down calmly after dinner or read with him at this time books.

At 3 years old, the child is already confidently in control of his body, he can run, jump, step over obstacles, climb vertical stairs, climb low hills, change direction on the go and can quickly turn around, bend over and squat. Many children at this age can already ride a tricycle, stand and jump on one leg, and jump over a rope.

The skills of neatness and self-care, which a child has at the age of 3, are considered very important. At this age, he should be able to ask for a potty or sit on it on his own (it is considered acceptable if the baby sometimes does not have time to wake up at night and very rarely “flirts” during the day). Children at the age of 3 must follow certain rules of behavior, and, unlike many other skills and abilities, these depend only on the upbringing and manners of the adults around the child. At this age, kids are already well aware of what behavior disapproves of adults, and can follow their own appearance. Many girls at the age of 3 already choose their own clothes, get very upset if it gets dirty, ask their mothers to do their hair every day and put on beads, hairpins and rings on their own.

In addition to neatness skills, a three-year-old the child should be able to eat with a spoon and begin to use a fork, drink without spilling from a cup and know how to take groceries out of the refrigerator or cupboard yourself.

Many parents do not allow their children to do anything in the kitchen, believing that three-year-olds will dirty and spoil more, but this is fundamentally wrong - you need to teach your child to be independent at this age. A three-year-old baby may well help his mother by taking food out of cabinets or cutting cheese with a special children's knife. Such tasks help children feel involved in the "adult" life of the family and at the same time teach them how and what to do for cooking.

At 3 years old, children can wash themselves, brush their teeth under the supervision of their parents, take off their clothes, and many even try to dress themselves, although they do not always cope with buttons, laces and ties.

Neuropsychic development of a child at 3 years old

At the age of 3, a child not only grows and develops, he literally “absorbs” information, like a sponge and experienced psychologists and teachers advise not to miss this time in any case. It is after 3 years that you can start regular classes to prepare the child for school, get acquainted with the outside world, study foreign languages or music. Many parents make a big mistake, believing that if they sent the baby to kindergarten, then they don’t need to take care of his development anymore. Unfortunately, as practice shows, most public and private kindergartens cannot fully engage in the development of each child, so additional classes are indispensable.

At this age, the child should be fluent in speech, and speak in short sentences, and not in separate words. Kids at 3 years old can already memorize a poem of 2-4 lines, know by the names of all close relatives, speak about themselves in the 1st person and give not only the names of objects, but also give them a brief description, and can also say why this or that object is needed or what it does.

It is very important that a child at 3 years old be able to fully concentrate on one subject for 3-5 minutes, be able to find a solution to the problem himself, and not immediately turn to an adult for help.

Children at 3 years old should confidently hold a pencil in their hand, draw straight lines and circles with it., be able to paint pictures, draw with paints, cut paper along the line, make simple applications (with parents), sculpt from plasticine and other materials.

The thinking of a child at the age of 3 also changes a lot - now he is already drawing conclusions from what he has seen and heard, looking for connections between objects and phenomena and is ready to endlessly pester his parents with questions “why”, “how” and “what for”, sometimes asking about the same many times in a row. At this age, children should collect pictures from 2-3 parts, generalize objects into groups, find similarities and differences, as well as inconsistencies in the pictures (of course, in the simplest versions).

At the age of 3 years, there is a second "splash" of children's independence- now the baby wants to do everything himself and is very angry if you do not let him dress on his own or correct the result of his work. Experienced parents advise not to try to "overstubborn" the child, unless of course, in the future you do not want to face the problems of spinelessness and lack of independence in a teenager, but to allocate time in advance for his attempts to do everything himself. Yes, in conditions of constant lack of time, it is very difficult to do this, but such behavior can help you maintain mutual understanding with the child, develop success and independence in him, and also save your nerve cells. Getting up half an hour earlier in the morning, mentally increasing the time for all things by 15-20 minutes and an agreement with the child: “we go to the kindergarten quickly and I dress you myself, but back - you are all on your own”, will help to avoid a lot of problems.

The social development of a child at the age of 3 also makes a big leap, now the baby agrees to “let in” strangers into his world, constant contact with his mother and other relatives is no longer so important for him, and games with peers seem much more attractive than games with adults. Children at the age of 3 willingly observe and interact with other people, they already lack the company of their mother and relatives. At this age, they just need to communicate with other kids, since only in the society of peers can they learn the rules of communication, the ability to resolve conflicts and defend their opinion.

A child of 3 years old - is there any reason for concern?

It is always difficult to assess the development of your child in a healthy way, but parents of three-year-olds should pay attention to their baby if he:

unsteadily walks, runs, climbs stairs;
cannot play ball, swing or ride a tricycle;
still does not speak or speaks very slurredly;
talks about himself only in the 3rd person;
does not navigate in his house, on the playground, in the yard;
does not control his physiological needs during the day;
cannot remain alone, without adults, even for the shortest time;
does not know how to find something to do on his own, even 5 minutes cannot concentrate on one thing;
does not play or is not interested in other children;
does not know the names of surrounding objects, animals, toys, and so on.

Girls and boys at 3 years old

A big difference between boys and girls at 3 years old can be seen in their speech development, as well as in how they perceive the speech of others.

It has long been statistically confirmed that girls begin to speak earlier than boys, and at the age of 3 their active vocabulary can be 2 times greater than that of their peers of the opposite sex. This difference in speech development is due to the fact that girls perceive information through feelings and their expression - words, while boys prefer something more "concrete" - the behavior, gestures and movements of others. That is why it seems to parents of three-year-olds that it is much easier to negotiate with girls - they listen and “hear” exactly the words of their parents, while boys pay more attention to how adults behave. So don’t be surprised if it’s enough for a girl to say that it’s dangerous to switch to a red traffic light, then you will have to demonstrate the correct behavior for the boy, the only way he can learn this lesson.

Capricious, stubborn, disobedient... This characterization is most often given to children with whom it has become difficult to cope. But the child cannot remain the same, since his development implies the need for change.

The general and neuropsychological reaction of the child is formed unevenly. Periods of more or less smooth development alternate with a kind of leaps, qualitative explosions, often stormy and abrupt.

The first age crisis in children occurs at about 3 years, the second - at 6-7 years, the third - at about 13 years.

Age after two years often becomes the age of inexplicable stubbornness and negativism. This is an important moment in the development of the baby. The child begins to realize himself as a separate person, with his own desires and characteristics. At this age, a new word “I don’t want” appears in the child, it begins to appear quite often in the dictionary of your former angel. The kid often acts the other way around: you call him, and he runs away; ask to be careful, and he deliberately scatters things. The child screams, may stomp his feet, swing at you with an angry, angry face. Thus, the baby shows his activity, independence, perseverance in achieving the desired. But skills for this is still not enough. He begins to dislike something, and the child expresses his dissatisfaction.

It is rather difficult for us to imagine this, because we live with our “I” and cannot imagine ourselves without it. But the baby, under the influence of increasing practical independence, is only beginning to realize his “I”. After all, he seizes the opportunity to do many actions without the help of an adult, learns the skills of dressing, eating, etc. Outwardly, it looks like this: a child who calls himself earlier in the third person (he, she) begins to realize himself as the first person: “Give me a typewriter !”.

This period usually lasts several months and proceeds differently for all children. And it is at this time that adults experience significant difficulties in communicating and interacting with the child, they are faced with negativism and stubbornness. Children protest against guardianship and do what is obviously forbidden. No need to be angry with the child, try to force him to answer his cry with a cry or punish him. This can fix the motives of negative behavior in the subconscious.

Find the strength in yourself to be patient with the little screamer. It is better to try to switch it to other things, as the child himself would sometimes be happy, but he cannot calm down. For example, you should put on his favorite cassette, turn on the cartoon. If you focus the attention of the baby on the conflict, this can lead to neuroses. You need to carefully monitor changes in the behavior of the child. If suddenly he refuses to contact with others, sways monotonously or moves his fingers for a long, long time, then you need to immediately show the baby to a neuropsychiatrist.

So, the crisis can be revealed in a contradiction, which can be eliminated, as they say, by the same: “Don't you dare wash your hands!”. And the child will do it with a zeal that you will envy. But the crisis can take place on the verge of a nervous illness, in the form of childish despotism - the desire to exercise power over others. The child demands that whatever he wants be done. And if this does not happen, then the baby throws himself on the floor, kicks his legs, beats his hands, screams. This expresses his impotent malice. What to do in such situations? You will find the answer to this in the Aggressiveness section.

The crisis can be difficult and be accompanied by restless sleep, night terrors, urinary incontinence, stuttering. But more on that later.

The most important thing to remember is that aggressiveness is inherent in all children, and this is normal. In a positive sense, aggressiveness helps the child develop a spirit of initiative. But it can also give rise to isolation and hostility. The reason for aggressiveness is simple: the child faces disappointments every day, and this annoys him. It takes time for the baby to learn to eliminate them and be distracted. The child often feels overwhelmed in this vast world, and parents, no matter how hard they try, cannot save him from this. The kid finally reached out to the door handle, and there is not enough strength to turn it and open the door. This is where the disappointment and impotence come from, and as a result - a cry, a desperate angry protest.

Aggressiveness is a reaction of struggle, therefore, of course, it is preferable to lethargy, lethargy, whimpering, complaints. Therefore, we should not talk about the exclusion of aggressiveness, but about control over it. The best way to avoid overexposure is to treat your child with love. Indeed, often the reason for aggressiveness is the desire to achieve love. But this does not mean that you should caress, spoil the baby. Energetically washing him, it is worth affectionately explaining why this is necessary. And try to talk with the baby, behave kindly and, if possible, on an equal footing, because children themselves most often suffer from aggressiveness. The child gets angry and throws toys because mom didn't give him candy. Later, he is ashamed of this act, he is afraid of losing the love of his parents because of this and ... again shows aggressiveness - a vicious circle, isn't it?

To avoid this, you must remember that a kind word can remove anger. And follow the tips below.

If he beats a playmate, take the partner out of the room, after taking pity on him. Your baby will stay loneliness and realize that it is impossible to do so. Attentively, but as if not on purpose, notice which of the children begins verbal aggression, because often it is the cause of violence. The child may begin to behave aggressively towards the adult who insults, so avoid such adults as well.

Set the rules and never change them.

Become a second "I" for the baby. Remind him of the rules that you set up together and say: “You better me, Sasha, tell me that you want to hit the bear and you know that you can’t do this. Because fighting is not good!” Most often, after these words, the child loses the desire to join a fight.

When a child does the right thing, praise him. This reinforces positive behavior. And praise not in monosyllables: “Well done!”, But try to say what exactly he did well and why you are satisfied.

A child who behaves aggressively should be put on a chair for 2-5 minutes. If the children are fighting, then it is necessary to separate them into different rooms, but say that this is not a punishment, but a time-out. It is for the guys to come to their senses and calm down. When the child has calmed down, ask if he understands that he can make a bad impression, if he wants to be praised, that he has many friends, and explain what is needed for this. Ask your child what he considers necessary for him to have many friends. Tell him that he will be completely alone if he continues to behave like this. But do not be afraid that you will refuse it - this can cause new aggression. Just show that you are worried about him, upset.

Explain to your child how funny his fantasies are. You can say that if everyone serves him, then it will be uninteresting, stupid and boring, because everyone will avoid him, since he will cause inconvenience and trouble.

Most often, children are aggressive when they are tired or hungry. Do not go to the store when there is a long line and the baby will have to wait a long time. Also, a bus at “rush hour” is not a place for a hungry baby.

An extreme case when a child is in danger of life or when it threatens someone. Hug the child, trying to keep him. This will calm him down. But do not show violence so that the baby does not feel that he is being attacked.

Make up a story where your child is the main character, creating situations where the child behaves correctly and gets praise for it. Talk about it when the baby is calm, because if he is nervous, he will not hear you.

The kid often stops being capricious not when you ask him or demand it, but when you switch his attention with another request. Instead of asking him to stop screaming, ask him to come to you. The child will do it without much difficulty.

You are probably annoyed too. Therefore, tell the baby about this so that he gives you the opportunity to recover and calm down. And then you can talk.

And the last. Remember that a child will not change in one day or night. Therefore, arm yourself with patience and rejoice even in the smallest victories. This will lead you to success.

First of all, it is worth noting that fears are normal, they protect the child from many dangers (jumping from a high tree, hot water, etc.). But there are other fears, they are either invented by him (monsters under the bed, ghosts), or received during his life (fear of a dog, leaving, leaving a parent, etc.). Children have different fears at different stages of development. There are main types of insurance:

1. Fear of leaving the mother, father, can manifest itself from 2-3 years. Most often, children who are dependent on their mother or father are subject to such fear, that is, they practically do not part with them. If a child communicates with strangers from an early age, he is more independent and less prone to such fears. But even such a baby can be frightened and, after the mother returns, do not let her go. Therefore, if you need to leave for a few days and replace yourself with a nanny, let her spend 5-6 days with you with the child, while from time to time try to leave the baby alone with her. Start with half an hour and continue to increase the separation time. Baby will gradually get used to the idea that you will always return to it. The famous American pediatrician B. Spock believes that excessive care only increases fear. It is also reinforced by the hesitation of the mother, who begins to behave insecurely when she hears the cry of the child at parting. You don't have to feel guilty about leaving your baby sometimes. The main thing is to do it confidently and optimistically, trying to explain to the baby in advance that the separation is necessary and it will not be long.

2. At the age of 3-4 years, the child begins to be afraid of the dark, death, cars, etc. At this time, the imagination develops so much that he is able to imagine himself in the place of other people and realize all the dangers that may threaten him. In such fears there is nothing dangerous for the health of the child, but it is necessary to help him cope with all imaginary monsters.

If your little one is scared, be sure to listen seriously and without laughing. Let him make sure that you want to understand him and nothing threatens him, since you can always protect him at night. Never frighten a child with other people's aunts, doctors, etc. Do not shame the child for minor misconduct, try to strictly and consistently avoid possible minor troubles. Let his life be rich and interesting, then he will be absorbed in thoughts about the future day and forget his fear. Never scare a child that you stop loving him.

If your son or daughter is afraid of the dark, leave the nursery door open or turn on a nightlight. This is unlikely to interfere with the baby's sleep.

Also at the age of 4-5 years there are questions about death. Don't scare the child. Try to calmly explain to him that all people die if they grow old. But you are not afraid of this and consider it a common occurrence. At the same time, do not forget to hug the child and say that you will not leave him for many, many more years.

At this age, children are often afraid of animals, even if they have encountered them before. Do not insist, the child will cope with this fear in a few months or days. The same applies to water. Never push a child into the water, but show by example that water is a great pleasure. Any fear is conquered by action. A person who sits with folded hands will not be able to drown out fear. Therefore, running and other outdoor games sometimes help.

More a few tips about how to overcome fear.

Take advantage of your child's imagination. If he invented fear for himself, he can do the opposite. Calm down the baby. Tell him that if he is careful, nothing bad will happen.

Call a plush toy for help. A hare that can protect against imaginary monsters is a good helper in the fight against fears.

Tell a compelling winning story before bed. For example, about “how the little mouse managed...”.

Control what your child watches on TV. Try not to let him see scenes of violence and intimidation.

Gather the facts. If the baby, for example, is afraid of lightning, tell him in an accessible and interesting way about the nature of this phenomenon. This will help destroy the fear.

Make a plan. That is, if your child is afraid of dogs, make a plan with him how you will get acquainted with the neighbor Bobby. And praise the child for the fact that the baby clearly follows the plan.

Pediatricians note that the development of each child occurs "according to an individual program." Three-year-old children develop rapidly and spasmodically. The baby's skills are improving every day, and parents are surprised to note all the new achievements of their fidget. And although it is unlikely that you will be able to find even two babies with a set of the same skills, there are certain developmental standards at any age, including at 3 years old.

Content:

Speech skills

The speech of a child by the age of 3 changes dramatically. This is no longer a clumsy monosyllabic conversation, but connected sentences with a change in words according to cases and declensions. The vocabulary is about 1.5 thousand words, of which 500-600 words are actively used. However, not all children speak freely, many do not pronounce hissing sounds and the sound [r]. The required language skills are as follows:

correctly pronounces his name and surname, the names of parents and close people;
makes sentences of five or more words, using prepositions correctly;
sentences consist mainly of nouns, pronouns and verbs;
memorizes short children's poems, reciting them from memory, retelling short prose;
easily recognizes and names objects familiar to him;
compose a story from a picture using up to 5 simple sentences;
uses words in the singular and plural in conversation;
knows many adjectives, but rarely uses them in speech, more often uses them separately, characterizing an object or phenomenon;
distinguishes antonyms and uses them correctly (big - small, high - low);
conducts a dialogue, coherently answers questions.

At this age, some children begin the “age of the why”, when they ask questions about all the objects and phenomena that they meet on their way. It is important to be patient and satisfy the curiosity of the baby. You need to talk a lot with a child, read books, learn poems and lyrics. Let him talk about his impressions, using words from the category of perception (liked, remembered, saw, felt). All this perfectly develops speech, enriches vocabulary and conceptual stock.

Thinking

The speech and thinking of a three-year-old child are closely related. Perceiving new phenomena, he tries to explain and tell about them. At the age of 3, a child already has access to the simplest causal relationships, he draws conclusions from what he saw and heard, tries to explain some phenomena:

Makes simple logical chains, based on his own observations and stories of adults. So, he is quite capable of determining that it was raining at night if he saw puddles in the window in the morning.
Compares pictures or objects, finds similarities and differences, groups them according to a common feature. Able to identify the "extra" item in the presented series.
Recalls the events of the recent past, talks about what happened a few days ago.
Collects puzzles consisting of 6-8 elements. Easily assembles a pyramid, given the size of the rings. From the cubes he makes a turret, trying to put them evenly.
Knows the concepts of "one-many", counts up to five, showing the corresponding number on the fingers.
He knows up to 10 colors, distinguishes them and names them himself, knows and distinguishes the basic geometric shapes, the concepts of the seasons, the names of vegetables, fruits, flowers, and so on.
Compares figures by shape, color, groups them, arranges them by size - from larger to smaller, selects one object to another according to a given attribute.

A child at 3 years old already makes rather complex decisions and tries to explain his actions. This is the time when special attention should be paid to creative development: sculpt together from plasticine, draw, make crafts from natural materials. This develops not only thinking and creativity, but also fine motor skills.

Motor Development

Experts advise developing a child’s motor skills up to school age, because the clarity of movements depends on this, even how correctly he will hold a pen when writing. At 3 years old, a child should be able to do the following:

easy to collect one bead, pea and other small object;
put beads on a thread;
sculpt balls of plasticine;
cut paper with scissors;
collect mosaic.

For the development of fine motor skills, there are special exercises and games that allow you to improve motor skills. Finger gymnastics, which is performed daily during or before classes, will help.

Video: Develop fine motor skills: finger gymnastics for the little ones.

household skills

At the age of 3, a child strives for independence in everything: for example, he tries to tie his shoelaces and brush his teeth. Household skills at this age are already quite developed, the baby can easily perform all the necessary hygiene and other daily procedures on his own:

he dresses confidently, some can even distinguish between right and left legs, front and back side in clothes;
knows his things and knows how to use them, finds his toothbrush and towel;
unbuttons and fastens buttons on clothes, puts things in the closet;
cleans up toys after him, puts them in their places: cubes in a box, soft toys on shelves, the rest - in a basket;
eats neatly with a spoon on his own, some children are quite deftly controlled with a fork;
uses a handkerchief for its intended purpose, wipes a soiled face with a napkin;
washes hands before eating, wiping them with a towel;
takes off shoes and outerwear when coming home from the street.

Everything that a child at 3 years old should be able to do in terms of everyday skills is instilled exclusively by close people. Failure to meet certain criteria is not an age mismatch or developmental delay, rather, it is an omission of parents.

motor skills

Three-year-olds are very active and mobile. Coordination is already fully developed, the baby freely controls his movements, testing his own abilities and abilities:

confidently and quickly runs;
plays ball: kicks it, throws it up, catches it;
easily climbs and descends stairs, including vertical ones, alternating legs, more physically developed children can jump over the steps;
he himself climbs the hill and rolls down it;
keeps balance, standing on toes, can walk a fairly long distance;
walks backwards;
rides a tricycle;
keeps balance and jumps on one leg;
rolls back and forth.

It is better to put the overflowing energy of the baby in the right direction by identifying him in one of the sections for the smallest, where he will develop physically. Swimming is a very good training of motor functions and coordination. This must be done under the guidance of an experienced instructor.

Cognitive, intellectual and emotional development

Mental processes: attention, memory and thinking - by the age of 3 are already well developed. The kid is well oriented in space, can show the way to the store or playground. He is already able to concentrate on one lesson for up to 5 minutes, which can be used in educational games aimed at describing the sequence of actions shown in the picture, or describing the picture from memory.

Talking about the events of the day, the baby embellishes reality. Sometimes this is perceived by adults as a lie, but this is only a manifestation of fantasy, which by this time begins to develop.

The child understands that he is an independent person, trying to show individuality in everything, to defend his opinion, which often turns out to be the opposite of the opinion of his parents. The replacement of the pronoun “we” with “I” is also connected with this: “I will go”, “I will do”.

Psychologists talk about the crisis of three years, when yesterday's obedient child becomes capricious, does not fulfill the requests of his parents. This is a kind of attempt to defend the emerging point of view. It is very important not to try to achieve complete obedience, but to find a compromise in relationships, otherwise trust and mutual understanding can be lost, causing aggression.

Social Communication Skills

Communication skills with other people are becoming increasingly important for the child. If earlier he was content with communicating with his parents, now he is increasingly striving to be in the circle of his peers. Until recently, children played side by side, but at the age of 3, they begin to play together, sharing toys, learning role-playing games with pleasure:

the child easily gets acquainted with other children, although some still prefer independent games to collective ones;
perceives and obeys the rules of a certain game;
during the game sees and understands the danger, can prevent it;
in communication with others, he uses the words “thank you” and “please”, “hello” and “goodbye”.

The listed skills and abilities are the result of cognitive and educational games, active communication with loved ones and peers. A child's day during this period should be rich and varied, filled with new emotional and tactile sensations. However, do not overdo it, otherwise you will not avoid overexcitation and poor sleep. The mode for the baby is still very important, and by the end of the day it is advisable to replace active games with calm ones, without disregarding reading at night.

For every loving parent, the appearance of a child in the family is a great joy and boundless happiness. Every year the child grows, develops, learns new things, he develops a character, other age-related changes occur. However, the joy of parents is sometimes replaced by bewilderment and even confusion that they experience during the inevitable generational conflicts. It will not be possible to avoid them, but to smooth it out is quite real. Psychologists and teachers urge to pay special attention to the upbringing and development of a child of 3-4 years of age.

A question that dozens of experts are working on

The formation of personality and the maturation of character occurs from the very moment a person is born. Every day, the baby learns the world around him, forms relationships with others, realizes his meaning and place, and in parallel with this, he has quite natural desires and needs. This development does not go smoothly, and critical situations and conflicts occur with a certain frequency and have similar moments at each age. This is what allowed psychologists to form such a concept as age crises. Not only for young parents, but also for grandparents who consider themselves experienced, it will not hurt to find out what the upbringing of a child (3-4 years old) is all about. Psychology, expert advice and recommendations from those who have experienced these tips will help smooth out the clashes of the crumbs with representatives of the adult world.

Testing parents for strength

At the age of three and four, a little man is no longer an object doing everything at the behest of adults, but a fully formed separate person, with his own emotions and desires. Sometimes these desires do not at all coincide with the established adult rules, and, trying to achieve their goal, the child begins to show character, or, as adults say, to be capricious. There can be any reason: the wrong spoon for food, the wrong juice that you wanted a minute ago, an unpurchased toy, and so on. For parents, these reasons seem insignificant, and the only way they see is to overcome the desire of the crumbs, to force him to do as they want and are used to doing. Raising children 3-4 years old sometimes requires simply incredible patience of others.

Is your child three years old? Stock up on patience

Awareness of oneself as part of the world does not go smoothly for the child, and this is quite normal. Realizing that he is also a person, the kid is trying to understand what he can do in this world and how he should act in each individual case. And these tests begin with a test for the strength of the parents. After all, if they say what needs to be done, why shouldn't he, the most important person in the family, give orders? And then they listen! He begins to change, his worldview and habits change. At this time, parents notice that their baby is not only listening and crying, but is already commanding them, demanding this or that object. This period is called the crisis of three years. What to do? How to cope with the most beloved little man and not offend him? Features of raising children 3-4 years old directly depend on development.

Causes of conflicts, or how to smooth out the crisis

At present, adults pay little attention to their children: a busy work schedule, everyday life, problems, loans, important matters do not leave the opportunity to just play. Therefore, the child tries to attract attention. After several attempts to talk to mom or dad, he goes unnoticed and, therefore, starts to play around, scream, throw tantrums. After all, the child does not know how to build a dialogue correctly, and begins to behave in the way that he knows how, so that they would quickly pay attention to him. It is in understanding the needs of the crumbs that the upbringing of a child (3-4 years) largely lies. Psychology, advice and recommendations of specialists will help to understand and, accordingly, solve problems associated with a lack of attention.

Just like an adult

Often, parents, unwittingly, cause negative emotions in the child: they force them to sleep when they want to play, eat “not very tasty” soup, put away their favorite toys, and go home from a walk. Thus, the baby has a desire to harm adults and express his protest. children 3-4 years old should take place with a constant positive example from adults.

Patience is the key to success

During this period, parents realize that their child has already matured, but still remains small and cannot cope with all the tasks on his own. And when the baby strives to be independent, the parents now and then correct him, pull him up, teach him. Of course, he takes criticism with hostility and protests in every possible way. Mom and dad need to be patient and be as gentle as possible in relation to the child. Raising children of 3-4 years old lays the foundation for relationships between kids and others for life. It depends on the parents what these relationships will be.

Raising children 3-4 years old

The psychology of behavior is a whole science, but in relation to children it is necessary to study at least its basic principles.

The child imitates the behavior of the adults around him. Naturally, first of all, he takes an example from his parents. We can say that at this age, the baby absorbs everything like a sponge. He has not yet formed his own concepts of good and bad. It's good the way parents behave. If everyone in the family communicates without shouting and scandals, the child also chooses a calm tone for his behavior and tries to copy his parents. It is necessary to find a common language with children of 3 and 4 years old in a soft manner, unobtrusively, without raised tones.
As often as possible, you need to show your love for the child, because children are very sensitive and vulnerable creatures. Their whims, misdeeds, bad behavior should not affect the degree of love of parents - just love and do not demand anything in return. a child of 3-4 years old is only a reminder for parents, the experience of predecessors. You need to feel your child with your heart, and not bring up the way it is written in the book.
Do not compare your child's behavior with the behavior of other children, and even more so do not say that he is worse than someone else. With this approach, self-doubt, complexes and isolation can develop.
The child is trying to be independent, more and more often you can hear the phrase “I myself” from him, at the same time he is waiting for support from adults and praise. Consequently, parents need to approve of children's independence (praise for the removed toys, for putting on clothes, etc.), but in no case follow the child's lead and determine the boundaries of what is permitted in time.
During the formation of the character and the maturation of the child, it is important for parents themselves to follow certain rules, the daily routine. Moms and dads, together with grandparents, need to agree on the same methods of education and not deviate from such tactics. As a result, the child will understand that not everything is possible for him - you need to obey the general rules. The main children of 3-4 years old are determined by their parents, only you need to remember the importance of this age period.
Talk to a small person on an equal footing and behave the way you behave with adults. Do not infringe on his rights, listen to his interests. If the child is guilty, condemn his offense, not the child himself.
Hug your children as often as possible. With or without reason - so they will feel safe, grow up confident in themselves. The child will know that mom and dad love him no matter what.

Get ready to experiment

Parents should understand that raising a child (3-4 years old), psychology, advice and recommendations from specialists are all very important, but you should also determine for yourself those facets that will be allowed for the baby. At the age of 3-4 years, a little researcher is interested in everything: he can turn on the TV or gas stove himself, taste the earth from a flower pot, climb onto the table. This list can be continued for a very long time, three-year-olds and four-year-olds are quite curious, and this is absolutely normal. On the contrary, it is worth alerting when the child does not show such interest in the environment. However, it is necessary to determine what the child can experience for himself, and what will be a categorical ban.

Do you want to ban something? Do it right

Children should be informed about these prohibitions correctly, without unnecessary trauma for them. The child must understand when he crosses the boundaries of what is permitted, what he can and cannot do, how to behave with peers and in society. It is impossible not to set prohibitions, as a sweet child will grow up selfish and uncontrollable. But everything should be in moderation, a huge number of prohibitions on everything can lead to indecision and isolation. It is necessary to try not to provoke conflict situations, if the baby sees sweets, he, of course, wants to try them. Conclusion - put them further in the locker. Or he wants to take it in the same way - hide it. For a certain time, remove the objects especially desired by the child, and he will eventually forget about them. A lot of strength and patience requires during this period the upbringing of a child (3-4 years).

All parental prohibitions must be justified, the child must clearly understand why it is impossible to do one way or another.

We can say that after overcoming the crisis of three years, children experience noticeable positive changes in their character. They become more independent, focused on details, active, have their own point of view. Also, relations are moving to a new level, they become more meaningful, interest in cognitive and objective activity is shown.

Replenish your stocks of knowledge

The questions that the baby asks are sometimes capable of confusing even an adult who is confident in his education. However, this baby should not be shown in any case. Even the most “uncomfortable” questions should be taken for granted and be ready to explain everything that interests him in a form that is accessible to the child.

Raising a child is an important and main task of parents, you need to be able to notice changes in the character and behavior of the baby in time and respond to them correctly. Love your children, take the time to answer all their "whys" and "what for", show care, and then they will listen to you. After all, his entire adult life depends on the upbringing of a child at this age. And remember: it is impossible to pass a practical exam on the topic “Psychology of raising children 3-4 years old” without mistakes, but it is up to you to reduce them to a minimum.

By the age of 3 and a half, the baby becomes a full-fledged personality, having its own character, habits, temperament, its own distinctive features and manners. He became a good conversationalist, with pleasure tells what happened to him during the day, where he visited, what he managed to see. At this age, self-awareness occurs as independent individuals with their own will, needs and virtues. Over the past 3 colorful, intense, inimitable years, the child has grown significantly, mastered new experience, became agile, dynamic and inquisitive.

The baby's vocabulary at this time reaches one and a half thousand words, and successfully uses numbers, adjectives, pronouns and adverbs. His countless questions, often perplexing parents, have no end, and adults need great patience. Children's desire to know all the news is justified. The kid wants to be perfect, he expects to be approved and praised by adults who are surprised at the independence and independence that has appeared in his actions and character.

New in physical development

At 3 and a half years old, the child already knows how to stand and walk on toes for a few moments, for some time he can stand on one leg. During a game or class, he is able to complete the task of jumping over the line on the floor. A little earlier, he had already learned to climb the stairs without help, alternating legs, and not putting one foot on the other, as before, although he still descends very cautiously, fixing both legs on each footboard. He likes to jump off the last ledge with both feet at once.

A three-year-old child manages to throw and catch a ball from a distance of two meters, to pedal a tricycle himself. The physical development of a child at 3.5 years old allows you to simultaneously perform two diverse gestures, for example, stomp your feet and clap your hands.

Everyday experience of three-year-olds

In parental and pedagogical practice, a large list of what a 3.5-year-old child should be able to do has been accumulated. The kid knows how to dress and put on shoes on his own, easily copes with clothes without fasteners, learns to fasten conveniently located buttons. He also undresses himself and before going to bed he can fold his clothes on a high chair. The kid should already have hygienic skills:

notice the disorder in their appearance and clothing;
be able to dry your feet after a walk before entering the house;
use a handkerchief or napkin;
wash your hands with soap and dry them with a towel;
insert the keys into the lock in the door and turn them;
use the toilet in a timely manner.

The child is happy to help his parents clean the house, work on the site, make purchases. The kid likes when he is trusted to bring plates to the table, he knows how to use a spoon and fork himself.

The nuances of the psyche of three-year-old children

Features of the development of children 3.5 years old speak of great changes in their emotions. The kids have a sense of self-worth, they are proud of themselves that they know how to do something better than anyone else (jump, play), that they have the best parents: the smartest dad, the kindest mom. They have an understanding of humor, cartoons or comic life situations will make them laugh. Toddlers notice beauty and ugliness in nature and in life, they can appreciate it.

The child is able to respond emotionally in different situations:

empathy, if next to someone it is bad or painful;
help, if he can do it;
responsiveness: if the parents are tired, then he will not interfere with their rest;
sympathy for the heroes of fairy tales, cartoons: he can be happy, sad, angry with them;
understanding that he acted badly, from this he is upset and ashamed;
experience in anticipation of a negative assessment or censure of adults.

A kid can hold a grudge for a long time if he is punished. But he sees when someone else does something bad and evaluates such an act negatively: you can’t do that. Sometimes you may encounter an exaggerated feeling of jealousy or resentment. And there is no need to teach him pretense and cunning, pranks and pranks. There is a formation of a sense of precaution, a distinction between the concepts of danger - safety, harm - benefit, anxiety, fear of darkness can often appear. A three-year-old child can follow a three- or four-step verbal briefing. The tractability of the child increases, he begins to realize the possibility of postponing the immediate fulfillment of his desires. With the right upbringing, three-year-olds can be emotionally restrained.

Active children's lexicon

The intellectual development of children of 3.5 years old allows them, looking at books, to name famous animals seen in the pictures, familiar household items, kids know the names of clothes, utensils, plants, and equipment. They can, speaking about themselves, use the pronoun "I", they know other pronouns. Children can build small, simple sentences by linking words together grammatically.

Ushakova's manual on the development of speech for children aged 3-5 years gives a description of speech education, discusses the formation of children's speech, tells how it is possible through games and activities to help kids learn grammatical categories better, to interest them in their native language. The activities in the book include retelling fairy tales, examining and describing toys and paintings, items of clothing, creating plot stories based on a set of toys or about animals from pictures. All these exercises contribute to teaching kids correct speech, expanding their vocabulary.

Children's speech should be clear, perceived by others. Often, children's actions are accompanied by a story about what is happening at the moment; on the way from the kindergarten, they tell their parents what they did during the day. There is much less babble in speech, otherwise you need to consult a specialist. During this period, kids joyfully memorize and voice short poems and songs, try to rhyme themselves, and are interested in adult conversations. A striking sign of the third year was word creation - the creation of your own words based on language samples, but currently not existing in the language. The vocabulary of children is already so rich that they easily use adjectives, select synonyms and antonyms.