What to do if you are afraid to go to school. Why is my child afraid to go to school?

Fear of school and reluctance to go there is increasingly common in children. Why is the child afraid of school?

Not all, but many parents go through a child's fear of school. It seems that the child is waiting for the time when he goes to the first grade. This is how it prepares. And then - bam! - the desire disappears, and whims, tantrums, persuasion begin. This can happen on the first day, or any other in the middle of the school year.

Such a terrible school.

Finally, you and your child waited until September 1st. Festive mood, white blouses, jackets, bows, briefcases and bouquets are pleasing to the eye everywhere. The first line, the first lesson, the first acquaintances. Everything is better than you could imagine.

But a couple of days pass, and an unexpected thunderstorm breaks into your safe haven. The child begins to throw tantrums, does not want to go to school, and no persuasion works. It can be silent crying with pleading in the eyes and requests never to take him to such a terrible school again. And it can result in a loud riot with the release of emotions and hatred.

You don't recognize the child. You don't understand what could have happened. First, you try to find out the reasons from the first grader himself, but this does not always bear fruit. Then it's time to come for explanations to the teacher. Of course, there are times when something really happened at school. Then it's easier to decide. You can influence the child and calm him down. But what to do, for example, when there is no apparent reason?

Your child cannot point to specific reasons, and the teacher did not notice anything wrong. It is this situation that is usually very frustrating and tormenting. Where does fear come from and why is a child afraid to go to school? How to influence, help, correct, if you do not see what exactly needs to be corrected? The answer is given by Yuri Burlan's training "System-Vector Psychology".

Feeling safe is the basis of life

It's no secret that parents play the most important role in a child's life. Them the internal state and behavior (especially of the mother) is fully reflected in the child as in a mirror. From birth to school, the child is one with his mother. If she is calm and confident in the future, does not suffer from fears, depression, bad conditions, then the child is completely sure that he is safe.

If the mother herself is in a bad state, even with a smile on her face, then it is useless to expect calmness and confidence from the child. If mom is nervous, then he is in danger. Most of the fears in children come from here.

Such a stressful state stops the mental development of the child. No matter how you develop him in circles and sections, he will not be mentally ready for school. Taking him to a psychologist or a doctor is also useless. They will not be able to give what depends only on you. If there is no protection and peace at home, then at school it is even worse - there are no parents there.

And vice versa, if the child feels constant protection and calmness from his mother, he is sure that everything is fine. There is no tension, no stress - so there is no need to be afraid. Such a first grader is calm and balanced. He knows that the world is not hostile. Nothing threatens him, because mom is calm, even if she is not always there.

A child needs a sense of security and safety from the very first minute after birth and until graduation - at least! This is the most important condition, which practically guarantees that your child will be free from unreasonable fears. Less likely that the child will be afraid of school.

Ranking in the children's team

There is another important condition for quick and painless adaptation to school - kindergarten. From the age of three, a person begins to perceive himself as part of a team. He needs to find his place in it - without the participation of parents. The best age for this is from three to six. Just in time for kindergarten. Socialization must necessarily occur at this age.

Learning to interact with other children, understanding their role in society, the child will feel confident. By going to first grade, he will be fully adapted and mentally prepared. Naturally, with such a child there will be fewer problems at school or there will be none at all.

If your child has not attended kindergarten, then all socialization will begin in the first grade. This brings certain problems. The age has already been missed, the separation from the mother is even harder, and most of the children have already passed it. In such children, most often, there is a fear when they get into a large team, with which they have to be left alone.

But even if your child was not in kindergarten, is strongly attached to his mother and suddenly felt all the horror of changes when going to first grade, he can and should be helped to go through the process of adaptation as gently as possible. And by accurately understanding the causes of problems, this is much easier to do.

The child is afraid of school: reasons

Fear in children does not appear from scratch. There are quite clear reasons for this, which arise depending on the properties of the child, given by nature. Training "Systemic Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan helps to figure out what properties are inherent in your child and what he may be afraid of.

We single out the main groups of reasons why a child may lose the desire to go to school, what he may be afraid of:

1. Fear of standing out, drawing attention to yourself, being different from everyone else and becoming an outcast because of this.

2. Fear of doing something wrong, not having time to finish; that he will not be praised, scolded, laughed at.

3. Fear that everyone is screaming and running around, there is no saving silence, to which he is used to at home.

Each group may include one fear or several at once. There are also children for whom all of the above is not a problem. If “something is wrong” is happening to your child, it’s time to figure out what it is.

It is also necessary to take into account that younger students do not yet have sufficient cultural restrictions, they are often cruel towards a classmate who stands out in some way. It may be an unusual name, a flaw in appearance. Ridicule and neglect will inevitably lead to reluctance to go to school.

Fear of not being like everyone else

Not a single child wants to stand out, to be different, children want to be like everyone else so as not to become an outcast. But more often such fear is inherent in children with a visual vector. These babies are initially born with a sense of fear as a basic emotion. With proper development, fear for oneself develops into its opposite - love for others and sensuality. In the meantime, fear is natural; it is important to know how to respond to it.

Children with a visual vector, not feeling protected from their mother and not having socialization skills, are the first to become targets of harassment. The weaker physically, often cry, react emotionally to every little thing, they feel sorry for everyone and always.

They are afraid to go to school. At the same time, they are driven by the desire to communicate, to learn something new, to be in a team. They cannot imagine themselves without emotions and emotional connections. Therefore, the contradiction - both scary and desirable - is about them.

Such a first-grader needs to be supported in an effort to get a portion of communication, to learn something new, to see what he has not seen yet. You just need to encourage him to share something tasty with new friends and help those who need help in everything. He gets extraordinary pleasure from this process. It is laid down by nature, so it will be very useful. In addition, for a flock of children, a child who is able to share, help disinterestedly, will be the most desirable for communication. Others will be attracted to him, he will never be an outcast, and this applies to all children.

Fear of being laughed at

It happens only in children with the so-called anal vector. By nature, these are the most obedient children, attached to their mother, who is their ideal. They are slow, very thorough and do not like to switch from one thing to another without completing the first one. For them, praise is the most important thing. They tend to be offended and do not tolerate ridicule in their address. Again, with proper development, these qualities turn into the most positive ones.

Such a child should not be rushed. Never and in nothing. Give him time to finish everything. Then be sure to praise, but in moderation. It also cannot be overdone. He immediately senses the trick. In no case should you laugh at him and make fun of him if something does not work out. Otherwise, resentment can remain in memory for life. And the memory of these children is the best.

When going to school, a child with an anal vector should be encouraged for a special craving for knowledge, and it will definitely be if it develops without delay; praise for good grades, for the cleanliness and accuracy of the notebook. He especially needs support. You can tell him that it would be useful to explain the incomprehensible to his classmates, to help them understand something.

It would be very good to talk with the teacher so that he tries to pull and rush such a student less. Well, the constant support of parents is the most important thing for a leisurely child.

If loud noises at recess cause horror

In every team there is always a child (or even more than one) who is used to standing on the sidelines, does not participate in running around, and when screaming, covers his ears with his hands. This is the owner of the sound vector. He is often considered out of this world. But he's more than normal. It is he who may be afraid of school because of the noisy environment in the classroom.

A child with a sound vector is an introvert. He cannot stand large companies and loud noises. It is hard for him to get used to the school and join the team. Potentially, such a child is the most brilliant. He always tries to comprehend the meaning, hears sounds very subtly, often has an absolute ear for music, and is prone to science. He can become an outstanding scientist or musician.

But again, this is potential. To do this, he needs to be in silence. At least at home.

A child with a sound vector needs to create absolute silence at home. You can't yell at him or even raise your voice. It is quiet speech and whispers that he is best able to hear. In no case should you humiliate him with meanings, call him stupid or stupid, say that nothing will come of him. From this, the child loses the ability to hear, think, perceive. He withdraws into himself and disconnects from the world.

Psychology That Gets Results

Nowadays, most often children are born with several vectors. Accordingly, the properties are combined in them different. It is from this that one must proceed when preparing a child for school.

“... I now understand that she did not have a sense of security and safety, that all my visual fears directly affect her, and from birth. But at that time I found the only reason for this behavior. School! 1st grade stress will pass. On that I calmed down. At this time, my brother's wife began to listen to lectures on SVP and periodically hint that it would be nice for me to at least read, but it would be better to listen for myself and for the sake of the family, etc ...
... I tried to focus on the child, not really understanding how to do it. To begin with, I “implemented” another mandatory daily ritual. Before going to bed, I came to her room, lay down next to her, and we talked with her on all topics of interest to her. She liked it very much, she waited for it all evening. She shared with me some moments from school life, I told her about my ... "
Oksana M., lawyer, Penza

“... I have already felt the rapid and incredible changes in my son. About my results, and they are also there, I will write separately. I went through the training - and I saw the result in it! Only here, at the training, I realized how connected we are. It's amazing! He used to catch what Yuri gave me!
He suddenly calmed down. Stop asking if I'm okay. Make obsessive movements (rituals), cry for no reason. But most importantly, he began to perceive educational information by ear again! ..
…And suddenly he began to prepare for the lessons…
And then he began to wear fives one after another. Seeing his condition, I decided not to give him the pills that we drank periodically during this time ...
... Today, when I write this review, there are three days left until the end of the semester, and my son is finishing it with an excellent student! .. "
Yuliana G., teacher at the music school, Ulyanovsk

(psychiatrist)

Didaskaleinophobia: symptoms, treatment, prevention

Maria Barnikova

Modern children experience enormous psychological and physiological stress. Free access to a wide information space, acceleration and many other factors lead to the fact that the child and adolescent psyche cannot cope with numerous stressful situations, new information flows, etc. Against this background, neuroses arise, including various phobias. What is didaskaleinophobia and why does it appear […]

Modern children experience enormous psychological and physiological stress. Free access to a wide information space, acceleration and many other factors lead to the fact that the child and adolescent psyche cannot cope with numerous stressful situations, new information flows, etc. Against this background, neuroses arise, including various phobias. What is didaskaleinophobia , And why does it appear in schoolchildren?

What is didaskaleinophobia

The word "phobia" is translated from Greek as "fear". Didaskaleinophobia - This is a phobia that only schoolchildren have. In fact, it is interpreted as "fear of school"

Parents do not always recognize the presence of this phobia in a child in time. The reluctance of school-age children to attend an educational institution is usually interpreted as banal laziness or whim. However, in such cases, it is worth taking a closer look at the student, since anxiety-phobic disorders are becoming more and more relevant for young people - so to speak, mental pathologies are “getting younger”.

Another reason why adults ignore didaskaleinophobia is the erroneous belief that if a child really suffers from a mental disorder, then this manifests itself in all areas of life with the same intensity. But this is far from the case: phobias are associated with specific fears, and if the patient is isolated from the source of his psychological problems, then in general he behaves adequately.

On the contrary, if you ignore the presence of real psychological problems in a child for a long time, then later this will lead to more severe disorders, panic attacks and deep depression.

Symptoms of didaskaleinophobia

The fear of going to school is accompanied by a number of symptoms that are characteristic of manifestations of panic fear:

• suffocation;
• difficult breathing;
• rapid and strong heartbeat;
• intense sweating;
• a feeling of trembling in the body;
• muscle weakness and pre-fainting;
• a feeling of discomfort in the chest, etc.

In addition, didaskaleinophobe may be disturbed by abdominal pain, nausea, dizziness, or a feeling of heaviness throughout the body.

But the most revealing symptom, no matter how paradoxical it may sound, is the fear of attacks of fear: the didaskaleinophobe is periodically tormented by preoccupation with its attacks. The older the child, the more likely it is that he will be afraid of going crazy because of his didaskaleinophobia. At the time of the attack, the child can show both increased activity (for example, in a panic, quickly walk from side to side), and, conversely, fall into a stupor. Such symptoms deserve attention, they can hardly be confused with the usual whim.

Why is there a fear of school?

Quite rarely, didaskaleinophobia appears as a result of a single psychological trauma inflicted on a child within the walls of a school. Most often, such neuroses develop as a result of a long, and, most importantly, regular impact of a number of negative factors on the child's psyche.

Examples of such factors:

• constant bullying of classmates;
• banter and cruel jokes of schoolchildren;
• frequent death threats from peers or high school students;
• exorbitant mental stress;
• psychological pressure from one teacher or a number of teachers, etc.

There are also non-standard manifestations of didaskaleinophobia. For example, when a child is afraid that while he is at school, something terrible will happen to his family. Or when family problems so absorb the child that he begins to feel responsible for their solution, completely denying the need to attend school.

In any case, the school is an important stage in the socialization of the individual, so didaskaleinophobia must be fought.

How to deal with didaskaleinophobia

The child is not always able to fully explain the reasons that caused school fear. In most cases, he himself poorly understands the source of his fears. Therefore, one cannot do without the help of a qualified specialist.

A child psychologist in regular conversations will help the student to realize what factors gave rise to didaskaleinophobia. He will explain how to cope with peer attacks, psychological pressure and other things that a teenager faces.

The psychologist will help to form the right attitude to everything that happens. If the cause of the phobia was fear for the health and well-being of the parents, then the child specialist will teach several techniques, using which the student will learn to feel comfortable outside the home, without parental supervision.

Along with psychological therapy, in some cases, light antidepressants, exercise therapy, or other physiotherapeutic measures are prescribed.

Prevention of didaskaleinophobia

Anxiety-phobic disorders are treatable, but such neuroses do not pass without a trace for a person and still cause a number of changes in his behavioral habits. Therefore, it is better to prevent neurotic disorders in the early stages.

As for didaskaleinophobia, it can begin to develop already in the primary grades. Parents often notice how children are naughty, they cannot join the work process. This is followed by the child's statements that he refuses to go to school or that the kid defiantly stops preparing for lessons. This is not a sign of a developing fear of school, but at such moments the child is in dire need of special attention from parents and support. Any irritated phrases, an increase in tone, a refusal to enter into the position of a baby, harsh statements about him only increase stress and tension, creating fertile ground for the development of neurosis.

Thus, the best prevention of childhood neurosis is confidential conversations with the child, attention, psychological support and a good microclimate in the family.

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Hypnosis is a psychotherapeutic intervention tool that can provide a faster and more effective result of psychological, physiological and dental procedures.

The duration of the session is 1 hour 14 minutes.

Boy, 8 years old, Russia (reading conducted via Skype).

Q. She has a fear of going to school, being alone there without her mother or grandmother. Before school, he vomits, cannot eat. This was when he was in first grade. His mother sat with him at school for a while. What is it connected with? What it is?

A. Despite the fact that he is sociable, he finds contact with peers and adults, but just as quickly he comes into conflict with them. At the moment, he does not have friends with whom he constantly communicates, he quarrels with everyone, the same applies to adults. It is very difficult for him to follow the rules, he is constantly trying to change them and adjust them for himself, which leads to conflicts. They are difficult to manage. In the classroom, the teacher pays a lot of attention to him. There is constant chaos in the classroom, the educational process begins to break down. Stas constantly requires attention. This is exactly why conflicts arise. It is very difficult for him to do his homework, he starts to get nervous, he needs to make constant pauses and breaks. Any rules cause an internal protest in him. He has no friends, he quarrels with children, conflicts. They constantly scold him, try to put him in a framework, he constantly clashes with teachers. He is in constant agitation and conflict with everyone. When one of the relatives is nearby, the burden of close attention to oneself is not so heavy, it is shifted onto the shoulders of loved ones.

Q. He is afraid that he will not be taken away from school, that his grandmother or mother will change plans. Suddenly they will go shopping, or some accident will happen somewhere, and there will be no one to pick it up.

A. Are there children with whom he constantly communicates without conflict?

Q. He has a couple of friends.

A. How often does he receive comments from a teacher who is currently teaching several lessons? The teacher constantly monitors him, constantly corrects, makes comments. You have to ask Stas. There are two of them, but always one.

Q. What does this teacher look like?

A. She is from 35 to 40 years old, slim, short. Not a blonde and not a brunette, dark blond, brown-haired.

Q. Is this the one at the new school now?

A. The first teacher, the first imprint.

Q. Yes, it does.

A. The child cannot yet realize this, it is all subconscious. The first experience, a new stage, a new level, a transitional period, the first step towards responsibility and independence. There was a conflict, a bad experience, there is fear. It's all at the subconscious level. They survived everything, he went through it, but there was a prick, a splinter. The first class, the first steps, the first perception, the first experience was not very pleasant for both parties. And the school is perceived negatively, there is a fear of repeating and making a mistake. The child may not even be aware of it. A new stage and the rules to which he is obliged to obey. He grew freely, there were no prohibitions. He is a free child by nature. There are obedient children, and there are free ones. He used to have a lot of freedom, but now he doesn't. This is a psychological problem, psychocorrection is needed. He needs to be taken out of this situation. You need to work not only with Stas, but also with your mother and grandmother. We need the work of a child psychologist who would help Stas relieve his colossal stress. School causes him a state of stress. All physical manifestations, when he feels bad, cannot eat, spasmodic phenomena, this indicates that he is too tense. He goes to school very reluctantly. And the process itself is problematic for him, and he begins to bring it to perfection in his imagination, to draw the most negative attitude. He does not want to stay there, before he has arrived there, he already wants to go back. And he is frightened by the thought that suddenly something will happen, and he will have to stay there longer. The problem was based on a conflict, the teacher could not restrain himself, behaved incorrectly towards him, not pedagogically, because he demanded a lot of attention. The whole educational process began to stagger, which brought her out of balance. It is necessary to remove the negative that he received. He experienced it like a child, did not realize it, but it was imprinted in the subconscious. The situation is standard, it is not necessary to be afraid. For 3-6 months, it would be recommended to correct his behavior and attitude to certain situations. You need to get this negative out of him through drawings, descriptions, associations. You can try to do this to you, but direct physical contact is needed, as this has a stronger effect. The situation is fixable, and until it gets further problems, like a snowball, it needs to be corrected. Any such splinter begins to grow and grow. And as long as the situation does not get out of control, as long as it can be corrected, a small correction is needed, to change his attitude, to change the program. We need to take him to a child psychologist. He needs perseverance and learns to focus on the process, through games and through tasks. It is better to do this to an outsider, because the child perceives him differently, he is more focused and involved in the conversation. When it is close, the limits are erased, when an outsider, the limits are limited, especially when he is experienced and knowledgeable. Therefore, a specialist is needed. The situation is fixable, not critical. By erasing the negative, changing your attitude towards it, you can quite easily get rid of problems. It has to do with the physical and emotional state. There will be no vomiting, no fear of school. There is no need to panic.

Q. Does the new teacher suit him?

Oh yeah. She is older, more experienced, a good teacher, of a different temper than the previous one. But it's not the teachers, the problem is the child himself. Whatever the school may be, it will always be surrounded by different people. As you get older, there will be more teachers. There will also be more claims from everyone. Each teacher has a certain energy, a certain character and even a style. It is important to learn how to quickly adapt to situations, their correct perception. He is at the beginning of a long learning journey, so the right adjustments are important.

Q. What adjustments do grandmother and mother need to make, what do they need to understand?

A. More perseverance and exactingness towards him, between him and his grandmother and mother the frames are erased. He often dictates the terms, although he is still a child. They sometimes even change positions, he says what to do to mom, grandmother. The child must feel the framework, what is possible and what is not, and what has been started must be brought to the end strictly. But do not break loose, speak in a demanding and calm tone, not succumbing to provocations. This requires a lot of patience. Any process will stretch much longer. But whatever he has to do now, he has to do. This realization must come through the correct attitude towards him from the side of relatives. There must be a daily routine that must be observed at all times. What time to go to bed, what time to get up, there should be time for games and lessons. Everything must be thought out. There must be rules, and they must be established. He is a free child, lives on the level of "I want - I do not want." Children at this age are unconscious, he cannot calculate the correctness or incorrectness of his actions, he is unconscious, unlike adults. Adults understand, children do not, so they need to be constantly corrected. They cannot be limited, but there must be exactingness, he must understand that every action has consequences. If something is violated, the consequences are irreversible. Independence lies in the fact that the child must be aware of his area of ​​\u200b\u200bresponsibility. Even when he does not get the expected result, you cannot say no categorically. You need to choose the right words. I can't now, but then. You can't deprive a child of hope. There should be soft non-categorical approaches, to explain why it is impossible now, and then it will be possible. Then it will be easier to negotiate with the child. You need direct personal contact with a specialist.

Q. How can Stas be set up correctly? What settings should a psychologist give out, what should a mother or grandmother say?

A. You need to imperceptibly for him to pull the problem out, in what it ultimately consists. It's a psychological problem, a misperception. It's based on conflict. Describe or draw what he feels, maybe even speak. What is the problem and in what form. Why is he afraid that they will not take him away, and if they do not take him away, how does he see it, what will happen next. We need to bring this to an end. Ask questions and let him answer for himself. In the process of constructing a conversation, an experienced specialist will lead him to what he himself will bring out and will voice not only the problem itself, but also its solution. The child should always be given the opportunity to find the answer himself, to think. This is the first step towards conscious action. If you do, then you must know for what, why and why, how it can end. What's next, what do you think? If for some reason your mother was late and did not pick you up on time, what scares you at school? He voices what he is afraid of. What do you think, how can you get out of this situation, what can be done? With such leading questions, he himself will cope with the internal problem. I understood and I decided. I understood, and now I'm not afraid. We are afraid of what we do not know, even adults. Fear of the unknown. Going to school itself is stressful and fearful for him, even if he does not realize this, but it is. It needs to be brought out, spoken out. Lead him to the fact that he himself said what in this case needs to be done and how to act.

Q. Will he handle this problem?

A. This is the task not only of him, but also of his relatives. They all have to deal with this together. And it will be beneficial for everyone. He will succeed in joining the team and interacting with other people. By nature, he is contact and sociable. There will be no problems with this. This is a new stage in his life, it is difficult. School is stressful for a child. Everything is different, everything is different when something is constantly demanded of him. We are all very different. There are stereotypes that have developed, but in fact we are all different, we react to everything in different ways. Therefore, do not be afraid when they say that my child is not like everyone else. There is no identical approach in perception. It’s easier for some, it’s easier for someone, we are all different. With the right mind and the right approach, any problem can be solved. It is important for him to correctly perceive everything that happens to him around, and correctly respond to it. Learn to control yourself, analyze, draw conclusions. All this is quite possible and real. You just need to make an effort. In the future, you will have to refine what was once unfinished. This is especially true in the upbringing of children. This is a test, a difficult task that requires effort, patience, wisdom and knowledge. Not only do we teach children, but children also teach us. To some extent, they are also teachers for us. Looking at them, we change, they make us change, see further, wider and deeper. This is a general problem that is quite realistic to deal with, it is not so serious and deep, not so complicated, it can be solved.

B. He studies well. Maybe Vera is to blame for something, that this is happening to him?

A. Any fears are transmitted to loved ones. And children especially feel the fears of their parents and loved ones. Mother and child are energetically connected, they are in the same field. The more the mother experiences, the more the child will react to it. Fear is based on ignorance. The more there is an understanding of the essence of the process, the less fear there will be. Sometimes you need to be philosophical about problems that cannot be solved at the moment. You need to reason, calm down, plan to solve problems. There should be a calm and even attitude towards her. The less fears mom and grandmother have, the calmer Stas will be. Decrease your concerns and fears. You can not completely fence off the child from problems. They can be voiced, but in a form accessible to the child, so that he understands that not everything is fine now, so you need to act this way and that way. But the child should not hear and see everything. If a mother is not sure of something, if a mother doubts herself, then the feeling of protection disappears. The child should feel confidence, kindness, love and a strong kind mother who knows and can do everything. This is how he should treat his parents. He must respect his mother and grandmother, because they are older, they are close, they know more. It needs to be put into it.

Q. Is there damage or evil eye on it?

A. There was and is a lot of envy. It is not directed at him, but since it acts in his field, it is also reflected on him. It is not specifically visible on him, but there is an evil eye and envy on those close to him.

Q. On whom specifically?

Oh. On my grandmother.

Q. From whom?

A. A wide range of people. Resentment from close circle, relatives. That the more you help, the more they demand, helped a hundred times, refused once, and that’s it, a sharp negative. Such is the attitude towards the grandmother. From the people with whom I once had to work and cooperate, there is also a negative. There was mutual distrust. Not so much on my mother, but on my grandmother.

Q. How can I remove it somehow?

A. We are all in a certain environment, we are immersed in it, we have to interact. There is a constant inevitable energy exchange with acquaintances and even strangers, it's like garbage. As we clean the physical body, we need to clean the more subtle and invisible essence. Efforts must be made to ensure that one's own biological protection is dense and large. Good rest, enough water in the body. Cell dehydration must be avoided. In modern conditions and ecology, a huge number of electronic devices, this greatly destroys everything. You need to constantly adjust your biological shell. There must be a sufficient amount of oxygen, appropriate breathing, so that oxygen is delivered to the cells, physical activity 2 hours 2 times a week. To give kindness to those people who need it, to help. All actions and emotions should be based on love and gratitude, they need to be projected. Thus, the program is removed from the negative. Contrasting cold and hot showers, grounding, prayers and going to church heals and cleanses not only the body, but also the soul. There are people who can influence energy fields, align and correct them. But without personal effort, everything will come to where it started. You must have your own work.

Q. Could this envy and evil eye come from my mother's cousin?

Oh. Maybe. The strongest impact from people from whom you do not expect this, from them the negative has a great destructive power. Due to the fact that there is an energy relationship.

Q. In the last reading, they said that Stas would have problems at the age of 20-23. What kind of problems will he have?

A. A new stage of independence. He will always strive for independence, quickly become independent, break out from under guardianship. First steps towards independence. There will be an attempt to take more than it can carry. There will be problems with studies, which will be interrupted due to the fact that he will change something. There will be a problem of becoming, he will try to organize his business. He studies, then drops out, starts something up. Problems of formation. Does not listen to anyone, does what he sees fit. Not everything goes smoothly. There will be a break in studies, then he will study again. Associated with learning and development. Trying to prove yourself, to become independent.

Q. There will be no consequences for the family, for himself? Will he get off with a psychological breakdown, or will there be something serious?

A. Everything will depend on the adequacy of relatives, how much they will give him the opportunity to do something himself. Everything must be adequate. Parents are experienced, smart and knowledgeable. You can not just step aside, but take the position of an observer. “As a parent, I gave you everything I could give. You want independence. Everyone has the right to make mistakes, to go their own way. Since the child decides to be independent, then please be independent and solve your own problems as much as possible. I can help with this, but I'm more sorry, but you can only count on it. Because in case of failure, you will drown not only yourself, but you will drown us too. Learn from your mistakes, so try."

Q. What profession should he choose?

A. Trade and money relations, marketing, management. It needs to be developed in the field of economics.

Q. How will his family life turn out?

A. He will have children. With regard to marriage, he will be very cautious, and will not rush into it. At first there will be free relations, like a civil marriage, and then an official one. Everything will be gradual and long. Everyone already close to him will say that it is time to make a decision, to push him. Not alone, but at the same time he does not marry for a long time. Will calculate, be careful. He marries once, but he will think for a very long time. Everything will be fine in his personal life.

Q. Will he have children?

Q. Will my grandmother live to see her great-grandchildren?

A. With the right attitude, you can live a very long time and see your great-grandchildren. This is what we should strive for.

Q. How should she properly tune in?

A. Healthy lifestyle, healthy thoughts, positive. The fewer bindings, the freer. The freer the easier. The easier, the better. If there are material losses, they must be treated evenly and calmly. It's all solvable. Problems need to be dealt with as they come up. In case of problems, draw up a plan A, B, C. make sure, strategically calculate everything, and live in peace and enjoy every minute of this life. Thank the Universe and God for everything that he has and for all the people he loves. This attitude is the most correct and healthy. It gives confidence in today and tomorrow. The less the internal pendulum swings, the longer the life path. Actually it's not difficult. It seems that it is scary to lose something. In fact, the worst thing is the loss of people we love. Everything else is a solvable problem. You need to understand why you live, with what thoughts. With our thoughts, we create not only our reality, but also the existence of our loved ones. The cleaner and calmer and more positive the inner mood of everyone, the better life will be.

Q. How is it better for a grandmother to live with her mother and Stas or separately?

A. Three generations under one roof. You need to feel your own feelings. Previously, in all countries and religions, it was common that several generations live under one roof, learn from each other, and pass on experience. It's simpler and easier. But times change, circumstances change. In some situations it is convenient, in some it is not. It's hard to say for sure which is better. It should be comfortable for everyone who is under one roof. There should not be a feeling of discomfort that I interfere, they interfere with me. It would be better to live separately, but not far away.

Q. How many children will Stas have?

Q. Boys or girls?

A. Children will be of different sexes, there will be both a boy and a girl. The first will be a girl, and then there will be a boy.

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Who is more afraid of school, parents or children? How to treat children's fears and what to do to make the child feel more confident and calm? Here are some psychological techniques and books to help children overcome didaskaleinophobia.

Yes, yes, this is the real name of a real phobia! This word is called the fear of children before school. Of course, a phobia in the full sense of the word, especially such an exotic one, is quite rare. But the unpleasant feeling at the thought that "soon to school" is familiar to many - both children and their parents. While some schoolchildren are looking forward to the “Knowledge Day” to see their friends and immerse themselves in a busy school life, others are sad and afraid.

Sometimes the cause of fear is the transition to a new status (first grader or high school student) or to a new educational institution. The memory of unpleasant school stories, insults, ridicule, a biased teacher, and, moreover, bullying can also poison the first days of September. It is hard to go to school for those who got sick a lot last year and feel insecure. Or, on the contrary, the parents tortured the child so much with additional classes in the summer that there was no longer any thirst for knowledge by September. And some children over the summer, alas, did not have time to forget the feeling of constant stress, unbearable stress and fatigue that they have associated with studying at school.

What can I do to make my child less worried about school?

Here's what psychologists advise:

1. It is better for first-graders to be introduced to the first teacher and the school building in advance, especially if they did not go to kindergarten. Try to tell them in detail why the school is needed, how their day will go, what will change and what will remain the same, who will accompany them to school and meet them after school, when they can walk, play and communicate with their parents.
2. If a child is afraid of meeting classmates or teachers, efforts should be made to find out who and what upsets him. Talk to the parents of classmates, the class teacher and the school psychologist, invite your child's friends to visit or go to the movies with them to watch their interaction. Let the child feel your indifference and your protection: if he feels bad, become his lawyer in a difficult situation, show him that he can always rely on you.
3. For those children who find it difficult to study, you can think of pleasant activities in advance, where they will enjoy the process and where they will feel successful. It can be dancing, sports or creative circles.
4. It is important for parents not to worry themselves, so as not to pass on their anxiety to their children. The calm attitude of mom and dad to learning and especially to the success of the child will show him that his parents will always be on his side, explain, protect, help. Let your child know that school is only a part of life and the world will not collapse from bad grades or being reprimanded for bad behavior.
5. Finally, if you feel that the child is close to panic and no calming measures work on him, it makes sense to consult a psychologist. It is not always easy for parents to recognize the deep causes of children's fear, which are understandable to a specialist. It may well be that one or more consultations will make the life of the whole family calmer and more joyful.
6. There is another obvious way to reduce anxiety. Help your child to believe that he is ready for school life, that his intellectual resources are enough to cope with his studies. To do this, train mental counting in a playful way, try to read a couple of paragraphs of a children's book aloud at speed, play word games more often, learn a few poems, tongue twisters and riddles that the child likes.

What to read?

So that you always have interesting and varied tasks at hand, we have prepared a selection of books from the Clever publishing house from the collection “Ready for school!” . It has reading simulators and lots of fun activities with stickers for different ages. There is an excellent student's quiz for those who go to the first or second grade, and a collection of Olympiad problems in mathematics. Books are perfect for future first-graders and elementary school students.

Author's reading preparation course by Irina Maltseva (4-6 years old). There is the experience of a well-known teacher, a playful presentation, detailed step-by-step instructions for parents. Children will not only quickly learn to read, but also expand their understanding of the world.

— a new educational book series "Superexperts". You can take a small book with you on the road so as not to get bored. Children are invited to color complex objects according to the model, solve the secret code and find out the names of animals. So in the game you can master the entire program of the senior group of the kindergarten and feel like a real superhero, ready to fight the unknown difficulties of the first school year.

In the vast majority of cases, the child's reluctance to go to school is not laziness, but the fear of being left without the support of parents. The child is afraid to be in an unfamiliar place with strangers, he is afraid of getting lost. Most often, this fear occurs in children who were brought up at home before school and did not adapt to the children's team. So what do you do if your child is afraid to go to school? How to help him learn to regulate his behavior in order to become part of the team?

What to do if your child is afraid to go to school

First, reluctance to go to school is absolutely normal, so parents do not need to worry so much. The first school year is the most difficult for students, because their usual life changes dramatically. Play is replaced by study and work, new relationships are formed - all this can cause stress, because of which the child is afraid to go to school, and you need to have patience to help your child survive this stress as quickly and easily as possible.

In addition to the fact that the child is afraid of the school load, not only physical, but also psycho-emotional, he is afraid of the responsibility that has now fallen on him. He can't stop learning, just like yesterday he could stop playing a game he was tired of. He is subject to requirements that he is obliged to fulfill, he is charged with the duty to comply with the school regime, and he cannot choose which lessons to attend and which not.

Another reason for the fear of the school is the new team. Both teachers and classmates are people whom the first grader does not know. He is afraid that adults will scold him, and children will not accept him into the team. Even adults are worried before the first working day, what can we say about children ...

Of course, in most cases, after a while, the tension subsides, and the fear disappears. But not always and not for everyone. Therefore, let's look at an algorithm of actions that will help your baby make it easier to get used to a new status. And the first thing you should do is explain that his fear is a common thing. Tell us how you yourself were afraid to go to school, and how funny these fears and worries later seemed to you.

Explain to him that teachers are people who will teach him what he would never have learned on his own, and classmates are new friends with whom it will be very interesting. For faster adaptation, invite him to treat classmates with sweets or cookies that you bake yourself. Tell him a game that he can play with new friends at recess, and it may well be that your child will win the favor of classmates.

If your child has already been accustomed to some kind of routine, it will be easier for him to get used to the school regime, and although he has more responsibility, try to present it to him as if his personal significance has increased along with responsibility. Treat him like a person, teach him to be proud of his successes, and he will indeed become successful.

Do not forbid your child to take toys to school with him: sometimes just one glance at an object from a familiar environment will help him calm down. If he had any hobbies before school, try to develop them at school. Enroll your child in a school circle, this will establish a useful pastime and relationships with other children united by common interests.

Do not ignore his problems, listen carefully to him, do not ridicule him. Talk to him as equals. He must always be sure that he will not be left without your support. But do not practice pushy control: it destroys trust and hurts relationships. Encourage new acquaintances and always host his friends at home. Rating 5.00 (5 votes)