No desire for intimacy what. Men who don't want sex

Greetings, Lady.

When counseling women, I often come across the phenomenon of “sexual cooling towards my husband” after several years of life.

In this article, we will consider the main reasons for the “leaving of sexual desire”. We will also define ways to resurrect a full-fledged sexual life.

The lack of sex in the family really greatly affects its strength. Moreover, both men and women suffer from sexual dysfunction.

More often, sexual attraction to a partner goes away from a woman. But in itself, sexual desire does not disappear. It is suppressed and finds a way out through aggression towards the husband / other people.

A man without sex also remains unsatisfied and embittered. He more often, in this case, makes demands on his wife. Or "revenge" in other ways. Unconsciously. Cases of leaving "on the side" are not excluded.

Feelings such as guilt, shame, inferiority, resentment, disappointment settle in relationships.

And now, Lady, let us begin to investigate the cause of the departure of sexual desire for her husband.

And in order not to go far, let's consider a very common situation in the society of the development of events in family life

• A girl meets a man and falls in love. Thus, it becomes more joyful, happy and beautiful. She seems to be blooming.

• A man, enchanted by the radiance of the chosen one, becomes more active, caring, decisive and courageous. He "turns on" the role of a defender.

• Falling in love is accompanied by mutual sexual attraction, outbursts of passion and tenderness.

• Hooray! Wedding!

• Trembling ... the birth of a child.

• Weekdays ... A woman "leaves" in motherhood. And in her soul, before the only beloved person, recedes into the background. He is now seen as a breadwinner, helper in household chores and moral support.

• The unsuccessful struggle of the husband for the former attention of his wife begins. He feels his uselessness, lack of female attention.

• A love triangle is formed: husband-wife-child.

• A woman, exhausted by the chores of a baby, also needs the understanding and attention of her husband.

• A “chill” and mutual detachment settle in the family.

• A man finds an outlet in work (friends, alcohol ...).

• The woman is even more closed on the child. simultaneously plunges into resentment and condemnation of his partner. Also, she becomes more mature, thanks to motherhood. Soon, without noticing it, she becomes a "mother" for her husband.

• Increasingly, commands are given: "Help, clean, give" ...

• The man is adjusting to his new role. His former activity fades away, self-confidence decreases. Not feeling needed and loved, he “withdraws into himself”, becomes passive, “aggressive”, “obedient”, and for a woman not interesting and not sexy.

• Questions “where are my socks?”, “What should I do better”, “What to buy?” - drive a woman crazy, and for a man they are the only way to attract attention.

• The man is no longer perceived as a sex object.

Some stages are different for different families, but the basis for many is approximately the same.

Before answering the question "what to do", let's take a deeper look at the nature of sexual attraction and falling in love.

Sexual attraction is an instinct. And on a subconscious level, a woman strives for a stronger "male" who "can protect her and her family." That is why a sexual desire arises for a STATUS representative of the male half of humanity.

And now imagine the situation. The woman got married. Went through the scenario above. And then SUDDENLY (after the decree) she accidentally met another man. She understands that he is much more active and strong than her husband. The likelihood that a “desire” will wake up to a new one is high. Natural instincts will begin to control a woman. The husband may “fall” even more in her eyes, and irritation and an abyss of misunderstanding will arise in the relationship.

At such moments, the girl does not think what a family man she met. Is he really as perfect as the imagination draws. Instinct screams "I WANT!" He's the best!

Of course, it also happens that a girl really “meets” true love when she is married. But this is a topic for another article. For the time being, we will not touch on this issue.

But more often - sexual desire is perceived as falling in love. “The brain flies”, a woman wants a divorce or goes into stress from the inability to make a decision.

Dear, dear women. Please, be vigilant. Remember that if you do not change the behavior in a relationship, then the situation with a new man may repeat itself.

WHAT man with you depends on you more often.

By nature, we are endowed with such emotional power, which can both “weaken” a partner and “strengthen”. As for me, it is much easier to direct your efforts to mastering husband enhancement skill rather than looking for another partner, "weakening" him, stepping on the same rake.

But even after “getting” a strong man as a result, we must remember that our sexual attraction will still not be as permanently strong as at the beginning of the relationship. But it will be much stronger than with a "weak" man.

One more moment. Since our sexual desire often depends on the state of being in love, we can learn to control our feelings for our husband.

The state of love is the ability to see the STRENGTHS of a man. When we fall in love, this skill is effortless. We skillfully “close our eyes” to shortcomings and lift our man to heaven.

When we live with a person for a long time, we see more and more shortcomings and do not notice dignity.

It is typical for a man to maintain intimacy 4 times a week, for some this figure may be higher. Lack of sex can affect a man's hormonal levels. But no exception is the fact that men's sexual desire can disappear. It is not possible to unequivocally establish the reason for this, so it is worth taking this issue with all seriousness so as not to give an extra reason to develop impotence.

Causes of decreased sex drive in men

As scientific studies show, there are a lot of reasons and why a husband does not have an attraction to his wife. But most of all, such a failure occurs due to psychological factors. That is, it can range from a simple disorder and stress, to a nervous breakdown and other psychological illnesses.

In addition to the psychological factor, other reasons also play a significant role:

Why you don't want sex

As a result, based on the above factors, a man can independently determine the reason why sexual desire for his wife has disappeared. If there are difficulties with establishing the cause, then, of course, you need to consult a doctor and go directly to the treatment and diagnosis of the restoration of sexual desire.

How to get your sex drive back

The simplest option that will help restore sexual desire is to contact a sex therapist who will directly find out the cause and prescribe treatment. But you can raise your level of libido on your own.

Basically, this can be done in the following ways:

• normalization of lifestyle;
• ethnoscience;
• medical treatment.

Depending on the reason for the decrease in sexual desire, sex therapists prescribe a course of treatment that does not involve the use of medications. So the essence of this therapy is to change some aspects of life. The main aspect is the diet. So for an important component of changing this diet there is an increase in the number of trace elements in the body. You also need to add to the menu those products that increase testosterone in the human body and, accordingly, affect the increase in a man's sexual desire. Such products include: walnuts, meat, seafood, fruits and vegetables.

It is also important to remember that in order to avoid other problems with sexual activity, you need to forget about beer, which has female hormones in its composition.

Doctors also recommend giving up all bad habits, which include not only smoking and alcohol, but also junk food. Normalization of sleep and walks before going to bed will help a man not only recharge his energy, but also get an excess of it, which he wants to throw out in intimacy with a partner.

As for traditional medicine, it is worth noting that its use also has a positive result on a man's libido. Of course, you can’t get a 100% guarantee, but you can try, it won’t get any worse from the use of folk and proven means.

Folk remedies include:

• pumpkin seeds. The seeds contain elements that significantly increase the level of testosterone in the body and, accordingly, the sexual desire of men;
• walking barefoot on the ground. Scientists have proven that when a person walks barefoot on damp ground, his sexual desire increases significantly. What caused this remains a mystery for now, but such a healing remedy is definitely worth a try for every guy;
• ginseng root. This ingredient is considered one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs, which is of plant origin. Therefore, the use of the root allows you to raise male energy to the desired level and, accordingly, raise your mood for intimate relationships;
• St. John's wort. It also has a fairly strong effect on the body of a man, in the sense of raising libido;
• tinctures from wormwood.

Thus, in addition to drug therapy, a man's sexual desire can be increased in many ways. It is worth turning to medicines only as a last resort and preferably as prescribed by a doctor.

Medication treatment

Drug treatment can be divided into two types: hormonal and therapeutic.

Hormone treatment begins with a blood test that measures a person's testosterone levels and the amount of pituitary and thyroid hormones. In the event of any deviation, a comprehensive treatment of the disease begins, which is established by the doctor during the verification of the tests. It is worth noting that for treatment at the hormonal level, drugs are mainly used that replace testosterone in the body or affect its rise. Stimulation of hormone production is also carried out with the help of special procedures, massage, warming up and so on.

The therapeutic technique is directly based on the use of drugs that temporarily help to increase male attraction.

So these drugs include:

• Viagra. This drug has long had positive reviews and is based on the fact that it helps blood flow to the sexual organ and thus causes an erection for a certain time if a man's sexual desire has disappeared. Basically, the duration of the drug lasts about 6 hours;
• sialas. The drug was developed on the basis of Viagra, but has a more advanced method of action and does not cause side effects;
• impaz. A hormonal drug that helps;
• wook wow. The drug is developed on the basis of an African plant, which has a fairly powerful aphrodisiac.

Thus, if a man’s sexual desire has disappeared, then you should not be upset, because modern medicine and science have developed quite a lot of drugs that help restore a man’s intimate life.

Sexual relations are the most important component of harmony and mutual understanding between people. Misunderstandings and conflicts that arise are often caused by a lack of sex or a decrease in its regularity. Lack of sexual desire in women can be observed as often as in men.

The lack of desire for sex in women, namely the reasons for this and the treatment - these are the actual and very important issues that experts are studying, trying to help people understand them and establish an intimate life with the help of medications and psychotherapy techniques. We will talk about this now on this page www.site.

Sex is not needed! Where does the lack of desire in women come from, what are the reasons for this?

Statistics show that 40% of the fairer sex have sexual disorders. This is manifested by a complete lack of excitement and aversion to sexual intercourse, even with a beloved man. There may be several reasons for this:

1. Disturbed hormonal balance

Libido in the body of both sexes is maintained thanks to a hormone called testosterone. This, as you know, is a male hormone, which decreases after the age of thirty, as well as in the postpartum period.

2. Age-related changes

The period before the onset of menopause or during it. This happens because the function of the ovaries fades, and this leads to a decrease in estrogen in the body. As a rule, the release of natural vaginal lubrication decreases, during intercourse a woman experiences discomfort, without getting pleasure. By the way, the ladies themselves do not feel worse from the fact that they completely give up their sexual life.

3. Diseases and gynecological disorders

There are some diseases that cause imbalance in the female body and lead to a weakening of libido. We are talking about diabetes, problems with the urinary and cardiovascular systems, diseases of the pelvic organs. Inflammatory processes also often cause pain during intercourse, which on a subconscious level causes women to aversion to sex. By the way, infectious diseases also greatly impede the excitation of a woman. What is the satisfaction of a woman with sexual intercourse ...

4. vaginismus

These are spasms that cause the vaginal muscles to contract strongly, which causes pain during intimate relationships for both partners. Vaginismus can be the result of violence, harassment and other psychological disorders.

5. Psychological factors

This is one of the most common and, by the way, the most serious reasons why women lose their desire to have sex. Fatigue and stress, lack of sleep and too active rhythm of life - all this leads to disharmony in sexual life. Violation of the idyll in a relationship with a beloved man, quarrels and resentments, selfishness on the part of a partner, inappropriate environment - these factors also make it difficult to relax and enjoy sex. Fear of getting pregnant often occurs between two people who have sexual contact.

About how to correct the lack of desire in women (treatment by various methods)

The choice of appropriate treatments depends on the causes. Diseases of any nature require competent therapy, and then the problem will be solved by itself.

With a decrease in testosterone in the female body, hormone therapy is prescribed. In case of psychological problems, the doctor will prescribe a psychotherapy session, a course of antidepressants, homeopathic medicines. By the way, experts say that it is an integrated approach, that is, a combination of medicines and conversations with a sex therapist, that allows you to achieve the best results.

Couples mistakenly think that their actions will play no role in restoring female libido. Just the opposite. Firstly, you can use accessories, sex toys, special lubricants and exciting underwear. Secondly, making love requires complete trust between partners, no tension, understatement and resentment. Often sex becomes just a way of violent reconciliation after quarrels!

Thirdly, you can increase excitement and awaken desire by watching erotic films together.

Fourth, it will not be superfluous to consult a doctor about aphrodisiacs (these can be both oral preparations and candles, aroma lamps, creams, perfumes). Recently, by the way, the site described the drug "Spanish Fly". Read about it...

Fifth, increase sensitivity and get the opportunity to enjoy sex with the help of physical exercises. Kegel exercises have become very popular lately. They improve blood circulation in the pelvic organs, tone the intimate muscles, and restore the sensitivity of the genital organs after childbirth. You need to perform them in the following way: you can take a pose lying or standing. The legs are bent, slightly apart to the side. Tighten the muscles of the vagina as if you want to stop urination. Hold this position for 8-10 seconds, then slowly relax. This elementary exercise should be performed every day 10-15 times.

Sexual life is worth it to restore and adjust. It is not just the pleasure and enjoyment of intimacy with a loved one. Regular sex is a guarantee of health, well-being and a brilliant appearance!

Today we are discussing the desire of a woman and not even just desires, but the sexual desires of women, or rather, the possible causes of this condition.

We will touch upon the topics: why sexual desire suddenly disappears and what to do about it, how to return sexual desire, a way out of the problem, the absence of sexual desire for the cause.

There is no sexual desire - what to do?

A little backstory. Gatherings in the kitchen sometimes reveal very difficult problems in the life of each of us. This is how, talking about joys and sorrows, the topic that our guest has complete lack of sexual desire. To our question - how is it? got the answer - ah, that's it! Well no desire to have sex, no feeling of arousal, moreover, completely I don't want to have sex with my husband, no, he is a wonderful person and I have the most tender feelings for him - but sex has become a duty, in bed my husband is indifferent to the feeling that you live with a log.

For the first time it became quiet in our kitchen, we thought and just started to remember what situations each of us had in life when the desire to have sex disappeared.

It turned out that everyone sometimes had such situations, but in order for a woman to have a complete lack of sexual desire, they heard about it for the first time. I recalled the once heard question, what to do to make a woman want to have sex, another question is about the fact that sometimes a woman does not have a desire to have sex, but about the lack of sexual desire in a woman - no.

Therefore, somehow by itself, a laptop appeared on our table and we began to look for answers to questions. No - of course we understand that it would be right for our friend to visit a specialist, which she promised to do, but our interest in this issue was too strong and therefore ...

What is sexual desire, or rather the sexual desires of women?

It turned out that this concept is closely related to such concepts as libido and sex drive, and since libido or sexual desire implies the presence of desire and desire for sex in women and men. sexual desire should be in every healthy person after reaching a certain age and moreover, the formation of sexual desire begins in childhood, consists of several stages before we reach full sexual maturity.

After a quick acquaintance with a variety of information on this topic, it turned out that:

• Almost forty percent of women and men periodically have problems of a different nature in the intimate sphere.
• Why don't I feel aroused - this question worries more women than men
• A woman does not like to tell men that they feel a lack of sexual arousal, about their expectations or problems in bed.
• No sexual desire is the reason - sometimes such problems occur as a result of certain physiological disorders.
• in different materials, you can often read that, according to statistics, every third woman has never experienced a wave of sensations and emotions that covers her during an orgasm. But as soon as she feels an orgasm to the fullest at least once in her life, she will want it all the time.
• It cannot be said that there is only one reason for the disappearance of sexual desire, this is due to the fault of many specific reasons.
• Sexual desire is reduced when taking contraceptives, because the ovaries are at rest and hormones remain at the same level every day.
• A decrease in sexual desire in women can be associated with both psychological and physiological problems.
• Sexual desires also depend on the partner, but you cannot blame only the man for the decrease or lack of desire in women.
• Many problems associated with sexual desire can be solved on your own, but in some cases you will need the help of a specialist.
• A set of physical exercises that stimulate an increase in blood flow to the pelvic organs and genitals, contribute to an increase in libido, for example, aerobics, yoga, Pilates.
• A decrease in libido or a temporary lack of sexual desire in a woman is not always a bad thing. Nature thus limits reproductive functions when "not the time." The wrong person is with you, the wrong condition (after childbirth or any serious illness). But sometimes a physiological decrease can turn into a pathological one.
• Women, like children, need more time to sleep than men, so they can safely throw in an hour of another sleep, then they will have an excellent libido.
• Most often, sexual desire falls for several reasons at once, therefore, according to experts, an integrated approach to assessing this condition is necessary.
• Hormones such as estrogen and testosterone play an important role in a woman's lack of sexual desire. But not only them.
• Each woman has her own sexual constitution (it can be objectively determined) and, accordingly, her own needs. It is possible to assess individual potential and correlate it with the current state in just one appointment with a specialist.

At the beginning of a relationship, when a man and a woman enter the stage of intimacy, their sex drive can be strong. But the emergence of problems in this area is possible when a certain period of time passes, and the passion between partners begins to subside, it is at this moment that sexual desire is set at a certain level. In cases where such a formed level satisfies both partners, then there are no causes of the disorder.

However, it is also possible that a man or woman has a feeling of less need for sex, and a complete loss of interest in intimate relationships is also possible. In cases where there is a lack of sexual desire in a woman, this, as a rule, greatly offends the pride of a man. It is necessary to dwell on those factors that can cause such a decrease in sexual desire.

Why can there be a problem with sexual desire in women?

As mentioned above, all the reasons that lead to a weakening of the desire for sexual intimacy can be divided into two groups - physiological factors and psychological:

Decreased sex drive due to hormones

• The physiological factor in reducing sexual desire in a woman is a violation of the hormonal balance in a woman's body
  

The male sex hormone, testosterone, is responsible for libido in both men and women. Unfortunately, recently there has been a tendency to reduce it earlier than the established norm, that is, before 30 years. Also, the hormone prolactin may be to blame for the decrease in sexual desire in women (however, in men too). In women, a weakening of libido is observed in the postpartum period, when she breastfeeds the baby.

Decreased sex drive due to age

• Physiological factor of a decrease in sexual desire in a woman - age-related changes in a woman

Fading or complete lack of sexual desire in a woman observed in premenopausal (climacteric) and menopausal age. It is known that during these periods of life, ovarian function begins to fade, which is manifested in low estrogen production.

Sexual intercourse becomes unpleasant and even painful, which is associated with a decrease in the production of lubrication in the vagina. Many women at this age completely refuse sexual life, and do not experience any psychological and physical discomfort because of this.

Decreased sex drive due to illness

• The physiological factor in reducing sexual desire in a woman is the presence of general and / or gynecological diseases

Diabetes mellitus, pathology of the cardiovascular and urinary excretory systems, inflammatory diseases of the pelvic organs, etc. are often the cause of sexual coldness in women.

Decreased sex drive due to bad habits

• The physiological factor in reducing sexual desire in a woman - various bad habits

Smoking, alcohol abuse, drug addiction suppress sexual desire. Bad habits inhibit nerve impulses in the part of the brain that is responsible for sexual desire and arousal. In the first place comes the enjoyment of these addictions.

Decreased sex drive due to spasms

• The physiological factor in reducing sexual desire in a woman is vaginismus

Vaginismus is an involuntary spastic contraction of the muscles of the vagina, which is very painful not only for a woman, but also for a man (during intercourse). The cause of vaginismus can be experienced sexual violence, sexual harassment, and so on.

Decreased sex drive due to infections

• Physiological factor of lack of sexual desire - various sexual infections

As you know, genital infections cause discomfort in the vulva and vagina. Sexual contact against the background of severe colpitis is not only unpleasant, but also very painful, this is also the reason that there is a lack of sexual desire in a woman.

Decreased sex drive due to psychological reasons

• The psychological reasons for a decrease in sexual desire in a woman are very diverse.

These can be chronic stress, fatigue, discord in relations with a partner, a quarrel with him, an inappropriate environment, a partner’s unwillingness to take into account the needs and preferences of a woman, and much more.

In addition, a decrease in sexual desire in women may be associated with religious education, complexes, or any upheavals in sexual life.

Often a partner does not want to take into account the desires and capabilities of a woman, and does not take into account the fact that, in addition to her main job, she has to do household chores, raise children, cook lunches and dinners. One of the reasons for the decrease or lack of libido in young women is inexperience and fear of unwanted pregnancy.

How is a woman's lack of sexual desire treated?

It is important to understand here that the treatment of the symptoms of this type of disorder is inseparable from the elimination of its causes. So if the cause is diabetes, then focus on managing your diabetes and improving your overall quality of life. Other therapeutic methods include taking antidepressants, homeopathy, psychotherapy.

But, if you face the truth, it is worth recognizing that the treatment of low desire is impossible only by medication. It should be complex (medication and restoration of the emotional state through a psychological mood), including in some cases even the active participation of a partner.

Treatment of sexual disharmony

In the treatment of sexual disharmony, sleep disturbances, headaches, irritability, breast tenderness, vaginal discharge, weight gain, waist enlargement, as well as acne, increased skin oiliness are possible. With the inclusion of additional hormonal therapy, an increase in hair growth is noted.

Do not deny this problem at the slightest sign of its occurrence, otherwise it can lead to serious discord in life. The key to successful restoration of harmony is mutual understanding and mutual respect in a couple. Many experts recommend practicing relationships for some time without direct sexual contact, which can diversify and bring novelty into intimate life, so that later the desire to resume it in a full form will wake up.

And if everything is not so much running for you ... i.e. If you decide that you are ready to do something to return sexual desire, then a few simple ways will help you on the path to returning the joy of sex.

Work on awakening sensuality and restore sexual desire

You need to learn how to enjoy yourself! And first of all, take care not of sexual pleasure, but of the sensitivity of the organs of perception: touch, smell, hearing.

The ability to enjoy simple things like beautiful music or the scent of your favorite perfume will help increase your libido. Turn on your favorite music, sit comfortably and try to feel every note of this melody. "Dissolve" in every sound, forgetting about all the problems and troubles.

In addition, such aroma or music therapy will help you relax and tune in to sex. It will be easier for you to awaken your sexual desire and get more pleasure from intimate caresses.

Your body is beautiful, so love your body and it will love you back with passion

Very often, problems with libido arise when a woman is dissatisfied with the way she looks: her figure, hairstyle, facial features ... Especially many problems are created by dissatisfaction with her own weight.

Learning to feel more sexy and desirable will help an ordinary mirror. Try to look at your reflection as often as possible, study your body, learn to emphasize your strengths and hide your flaws.

Remember: men love different women - someone likes blondes more, and someone likes redheads, someone prefers thin women, and someone likes women "in the body."

You are an individual! And it is with you that a man is ready to have sex every day! There is no other like you in this world, and therefore you have something to be proud of. You are the one and only! Love yourself for who you are, and you will learn how to get the most out of life.

Use sexual tricks for your body, it deserves it

Sexologists say that a great way to increase sexual desire is ... a longer foreplay. Explain to your partner that you need a little more sexual contact than usual before intercourse.

Increase the time of sexual foreplay by 2-3 times. In this case, it will be useful to resort to the help of all kinds of sexual toys. This will not only increase your sexual desire, but also diversify sex. Do not forget about lubricants - these gels make up for the lack of lubrication, and also often contain additional components that stimulate desire.

It is also known that women who have regular sex life rarely face the problem of lack of desire. Therefore, do not forget to make time for sex in your busy work schedule!

It is necessary to raise the vitality and at the same time the sexual desire of a woman will rise

Physical activity has been clinically proven to markedly increase sexual desire. Significantly increase libido: 30-minute daily walk, jogging, swimming or any other type of physical activity. But at the same time, the regularity of muscle loads is important! Training only once a week will not give the expected results.

You can pay attention to individual muscle groups that are directly responsible for sexual pleasure. The famous Kegel exercises are ideal for training intimate muscles. They can be performed at any time of the day and anywhere - even on the way to work. Every day for a few minutes, contract the muscles of the entrance of the vagina - and after a few days you will feel the result.

Correct hormonal imbalance and improve your sex life under the supervision of a doctor

Problems in sexual life also appear after hormonal disruptions in a woman's body. In this case, the only correct way out is hormonal therapy. This method of "treatment" is necessary for women who have recently given birth to a baby, breastfeeding mothers and women going through menopause. Also, hormonal failure can occur after severe stress.

In all these cases, in the body of the fairer sex, there is a lack of the hormone testosterone (less than 10 nanograms per milliliter of blood), estrogen and pheromones. Only a specialist can prescribe the necessary hormonal preparations. Remember that these medical drugs must be taken strictly in accordance with the dosage. Otherwise, it is possible that not only the sexual life will worsen, but also the general well-being.

Eat right and with pleasure, increasing sexual desire

It has long been known that proper nutrition can solve many problems, including those of an intimate nature. Aphrodisiac products will help increase libido.

Sexual fire is effectively awakened by spicy foods and various spices: pepper, onion, garlic, ginger, cinnamon, fennel, cardamom, anise, turmeric, horseradish. Famous aphrodisiacs include seafood: halibut, salmon, clams, oysters. They increase sexual desire due to the fatty acids they contain.

Few people know that many of the products familiar to us are powerful erogenous stimulants. These include: chocolate (especially dark), bananas, avocados, mangoes, figs, nuts, liver, eggs.

Traditional medicine believes it can stimulate sexual desire in women

No less often, medicinal herbs are used in the treatment of sexual dysfunctions. The most famous natural herbs that stimulate sexual desire include:

• wild yam,
• ginseng,
• damiana,
• aloe,
• celery.

These herbs can be used in various combinations in the form of decoctions and infusions, as well as seasonings for various dishes. It is also good to do inhalations based on these herbs, and some - for example, aloe - can even be consumed in its pure form (aloe juice with honey). These herbs are also found in many dietary supplements designed to increase sexual desire.

Talking about the problem of decreased libido - does not allow it to deepen

One of the most common reasons for a decrease in libido in a woman is psychological in nature - problems in relationships with a partner. Quarrels, conflicts, omissions, suspicions destroy sexual life in 80% of cases. And the woman suffers first. The only way out is a heart-to-heart talk. Tell your man about your suspicions and doubts.

The sooner you solve all the painful issues, the sooner you will feel the joy of sex again. In some cases, you may need the help of a psychologist or family therapist. Do not hesitate to seek help from a specialist - after all, not only your sexual pleasure, but also your future relationship with a partner may depend on this.

Fantasize with a man, such fantasies increase a woman's sexual desire

Try to be as honest with your man as possible. Communication will help increase libido. Talk to your partner about everything, and most importantly - about your sexual desires and fantasies. Arrange an evening of revelations and talk to each other on the most intimate topics. It is best if this conversation flows smoothly into the night of magical love.

Try to make each other's fantasies come true. This method of increasing libido is often prescribed by specialists. And this is absolutely justified - after all, the inability to talk about your sexual desires first causes sexual dissatisfaction, a decrease in sexual activity, and then a complete lack of desire for intimacy.

Do not forget about the romance of life, bring an erotic component into relationships and you will increase a woman's sexual desire

In the daily hustle and bustle, we often forget or just don't find time for romance in a relationship. But an evening spent by candlelight to the sounds of slow and pleasant music in the company of your soulmate can solve many problems ... Such an environment primarily affects the emotional relationship between partners. You will learn to understand each other better, pay more attention to feelings - yours and your partner's.

Such intimate evenings cannot but affect your sexual desire. Romance will increase your sensuality and teach you to understand each other's desires without words. Arrange such intimate evenings at least once a month. Integral attributes of a romantic rendezvous should be not only music and candles, but also a properly set table. Give preference to dishes from aphrodisiacs and light wine (in small quantities).

A small dictionary for an article on the lack of sexual desire in women

• Orgasm- these are muscle contractions of the vagina and uterus that occur during intercourse and bring physical and moral satisfaction. A woman during one sexual intercourse can experience both single and multiple orgasms.
• vaginismus- this is an involuntary spastic contraction of the muscles of the vagina.
• Frigidity- this is the sexual coldness of a woman. It can manifest itself in a decrease in sexual desire up to a lack of desire for sexual intimacy or even aversion to sex. Allocate physiological and psychological frigidity, as well as imaginary and true.
• Libido represents nothing more than sexual desire, the desire for sexual relations. It is believed that libido fully blossoms in women after 20-22 years.
• A wish- a special state of the human psyche, reflecting the qualitative component of his needs. Desires are feasible and impossible, strong and weak, regular and one-time, explicit and secretive ... but every person has them and is at every moment of his life, including sleep.
• Aphrodisiacs- Substances that stimulate or enhance sexual desire or sexual activity.

There are no clear indicators of healthy sexual activity - for some, daily sex is the norm, and for some, 1-2 times a week is enough. On average, under comfortable conditions and the coincidence of desires, as well as opportunities, 2-3 sexual intercourses per week can be considered a normal “load”. Moreover, this figure is very “floating”, since everything always depends equally on the desires and capabilities of a man, often disappearing for a variety of reasons - from stress at work and dulling the novelty of relationships with a particular partner to a serious illness. There may be the simplest explanation for the fact that the desire has disappeared, but it is still necessary to find out why there is no desire to have sex.

The simplest reasons

In the simplest cases that do not require the help of a doctor (perhaps with the exception of a psychologist), the question of why there is no desire to have sex can be answered in the following versions:

• an addiction to a partner has formed or many years of living together with a spouse have passed;
• primitivism of sexual intimacy, mechanical performance of sexual intercourse;
• the birth of a child (if we are talking about a family).

In the first case, the reluctance to enter into intimacy may be due to the fact that the man simply does not feel sexual attraction to his partner. If the wife becomes a “comrade-in-arms” or the mistress begins to resemble a “mommy”, there is no longer any talk of excitement.

If sexual desire has disappeared, it may very well be that the sexual relationship between a man and a woman follows a too primitive scenario (met, undressed, had sex, dressed and parted) or is strictly mandatory (“marital duty”). The desire for intimacy with a woman may decrease if the "patient" is too fond of watching pornography and masturbation - erectile functionality simply will not have time to recover.

The most elementary reason for not wanting to have sex is a violation of the normal sleep pattern.

It happens that a husband loses attraction to his wife if she recently gave birth to a child - a woman’s body that has changed after pregnancy and childbirth may no longer excite her husband. In addition, psycho-emotional fatigue, both from each other and from the rhythm of life that is established with the advent of a newborn in the house, also reduces sexual desire to almost zero.

Another - the most elementary - cause of problems with the desire to have sex is a violation of the normal sleep pattern. A pathologically sleep-deprived man is a good-for-nothing lover. The same is true for the representatives of the stronger sex, who work a lot and hard: they spend a lot of energy on their labor activity, so the organisms protect themselves by suppressing sexual desire, which provokes, albeit pleasant, but still additional energy expenditure.

Why did the sex drive disappear?

If there is no desire to have sex, do not immediately worry. Perhaps the reasons for the lack of sexual desire lie in the above factors, and it is possible to cope with them, albeit difficult, but real.

If the lack of sexual desire is becoming an increasingly frequent occurrence in a man's life, and neither the monotony of relationships, nor the recent birth of a child, nor shock work is to blame, it's time to seek help. For the frequent refusal of intimacy, there are a large number of factors, and only a specialist can identify a specific one in a particular case.

In general, the condition described by patients as "lost desire to have sex" can be caused by:

• physiological;
• psychological (sometimes - psycho-emotional).

The psychological reasons to some extent include the situations described above, they will also be discussed separately, since there are fewer of them than physiological problems with a decrease in libido.

Physiological factors are most often associated with the presence of various diseases of the genitourinary system (prostatitis, orchitis, urethritis, bacterial lesions) in a patient. Body structure pathologies can also answer the question why the desire to have sex has disappeared: male sexual function suffers if there is excess body weight, anatomical features of the structure of the penis or other parts of the reproductive system, exposure to the negative effects of bad habits. It also happens that sexual desire disappears when other pathological processes occur in the body that are not related to the genitourinary system. These include diabetes mellitus, diseases of the blood vessels, problems with the functioning of the gastrointestinal tract.

The most common reason why there is no desire for sex is prostatitis in a man.

The most common reason why there is no desire to have sex is prostatitis. Inflammation of the prostate gland, which has a different origin, disrupts the functioning of this organ. If the prostate, which is responsible for the formation of the male sexual function as a whole, which produces the secretion of seminal fluid and is the source of a certain amount of the male hormone testosterone, stops working normally, various sexual disorders are not long in coming. One of them is the lack of desire to enter into intimacy.

Orchitis is a disease of the testicles (paired male gonads), accompanied by an inflammatory process in them. The factors that provoke the disease can be different, ranging from hormonal imbalances to mechanical trauma. One of the forms of orchitis is an unpleasant sensation in the scrotum, pulling, with sexual intimacy aggravated to pain. It is these periodic pains that cause a man to refuse sex.

With urethritis (an inflammatory lesion provoked by the entry of various bacteria into the lower part of the urethra, most often treponema), pathogenic microflora spreads through the urethra with further development of the process to the upper urinary tract and sex glands. The disappearance of the desire to have sex in this case may be associated with the main symptoms of the disease: yellow discharge with an unpleasant odor, burning in the urethra, swelling of the head of the penis.

Physical ailment caused by a significant decrease in immunity, for example, due to the recent transfer of viral infections, can also cause a decrease and disappearance of sexual desire. Without a strong enough barrier function of the immune system, the body becomes open to the negative effects of a mass of various viruses and bacteria. The main symptoms of this condition include general lethargy and a drop in efficiency, constant exposure to respiratory and other similar diseases, and a decrease in the need for sexual activity.

Excess weight, “acquired” by a sedentary lifestyle and harmful, mostly fatty foods, is extremely dangerous for a man. Fat deposits interfere and disrupt the functioning of all organs and systems in the body. Moreover, they put pressure on the organs mechanically, forcing them to move from the place designated by nature. Subsequently, excess weight leads to the fact that an obese man begins to suffer from a decrease in the production of the hormone testosterone and from weakening of the muscles (including those responsible for the mechanism of erection), and the result of this is that the desire to have sex has disappeared, and the body's ability to have sexual intercourse, it must be said directly , have weakened considerably.

Overweight, a sedentary lifestyle and fatty foods for men are dangerous by a decrease in the production of the testosterone hormone.

Psychological factors for reducing sexual desire

The psychological reasons that cause problems with the extinction of sexual desire include many factors, including:

• stressful condition, anxiety;
• nervous tension in everyday life;
• worries about problems at work, family or relationships;
• a state of depression;
• mental disorders.

The fact of improper upbringing of boys during puberty can also affect sexual desire. If a young man grows up with the idea that sex is dirty, indecent and wrong, his libido will be depressed. Later, entering into intimacy, he will not receive satisfaction from her and will either blame the partner, creating problems with relationships, or “acquire” new complexes, falling into a vicious circle. The result will be an even more noticeable decrease in libido, then a reduction in sexual intercourse, which is harmful, as it leads to stagnation in the pelvic organs, inhibition of hormone production, depression and irritability. And in such states, successful sexual intercourse becomes even less likely.

In young people who are just starting to have sex, the desire to have sexual relations can be extinguished by another version of the vicious circle: failure at the first attempts to have sexual intercourse gives rise to a fear of repeating the “misfire”, feelings and complexes about this. As a result, there is a decrease in libido up to a complete loss of sexual desire. Most often, this chain of events is triggered if a man having sex for the first time is nervously unable to experience an erection or hold it long enough to perform the actual act of intimacy. A temporary violation of erectile function with sufficiently strong feelings and fears of a repetition of "embarrassment" has every chance of becoming a permanent condition.

Important: unlike the physiological reasons, in which the desire to have sex disappears not so much in the absence of the need for sexual intimacy, but in the inability to carry out sexual activity, the situation is quite the opposite with psychological factors. With such problems, a man can have a lot of opportunities for sexual intercourse, but due to various complexes and stresses, he loses his desire.

It's all about hormonal imbalance.

Factors that negatively affect the volume of sexual desire and the desire to have sexual relationships may be related to hormonal imbalance. Libido decreases if a man's body lacks testosterone, a hormone responsible for the normal course of arousal during sexual desire. A low level of testosterone is a low level of desire to have sexual intercourse. The reason for the decrease in the production of this hormone in the body of a man may be mature age, some chronic diseases, bad habits, and the use of certain medications.

The psychological reasons that cause problems with the extinction of sexual desire include a stressful state.

In addition to testosterone, the desire to have sex is affected by a lack of other hormones, such as thyroid, or an excess, such as prolactin. Also, the cause of problems with libido can be a lack of dopamine - a hormone that regulates the normal state of the psycho-emotional sphere of a person. Since the brain plays perhaps the largest role in the process of sexual arousal that occurs during the manifestation of attraction, the lack of the mediator dopamine in the chemical system of nerve impulses inhibits its reactions. And a "retarded" brain is not able to make the body feel the desire for physical intimacy.

What help can be

When all the factors that can potentially cause the desire to have sex to disappear in men have been studied, it is time to figure out what to do to return the faded sexual desire. But first, one curious fact must be cited: it turns out that every fifth male who has reached the age of 35 years and older, even if he previously had an active sex life, is quite satisfied with the conditional standard, expressed in 1-2 sexual acts per week. So before you start to panic about your fading libido, you should think: maybe everything is going fine?

If, nevertheless, the decreased desire for sex worries, you should definitely consult a doctor. After passing the examination and identifying possible factors of the violation, the patient will be able to undergo appropriate treatment. If psychology and the emotional balance disturbed by various “provocateurs” are to blame, a man may be prescribed consultations with a psychologist, in some cases, taking antidepressants. Physiological factors require that the patient first turn to a specialized specialist - a urologist, andrologist, therapist, that is, get rid of the diseases that caused a decrease in the desire for sexual activity. After treatment of prostatitis, orchitis and urethritis, as well as after restoration of normal weight, the probability of restoration of sexual function is very high.

It happens that the absence of intimate relationships in the family is taken as a matter of course, especially if both spouses are over the age of 45-50. Many couples believe that the main thing in their life together is spiritual kinship and intimacy, and you can do without sex. However, from the point of view of physiology, not all women, and even more so men, are able to maintain long-term abstinence without acquiring physiological and psychological complications. Over time, these complications, accumulating, can result in either family scandals or infidelity. That is why, if a man in a love or family relationship begins to lose the desire to have sexual intercourse, and was previously sexually active, he should consult a doctor in order to begin to eliminate this problem in a timely manner.

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