A way to help you forget your mistress, even if you are very attracted to her. How to help a guy forget his ex-girlfriend Marriage after cheating

How to forget a mistress. If the question " How forget mistress? you set firmly and decided to return to marriage, you may find some recommendations on this topic useful, advice from a psychologist Zberovsky on restoring a marriage! Attention: for a psychologist, a relationship with a mistress is such an intimate relationship between a married man and an unmarried / married woman, where there is no birth of a common child. Where there are long-term stable meetings and there is a joint child, we are no longer talking about a mistress, but about creating a “parallel family”, albeit not registered and not official, where the mistress becomes practically a wife. Moreover, very often, many people around are generally mistakenly convinced that the wife is just a mistress, and they don’t even know about the real wife. In this case, it is impossible to “forget the mistress”, since there is a common child who is not to blame for anything and who should be taken care of, educated, financed, etc. Here we are already talking about the termination of relations along the “man-woman” line, but maintaining stable contact along the “mother-father-child” line, the word “forget” will no longer fit here. These situations are not described in the article, everything is different there.

This article is intended for all categories of men: on those who have already unsuccessfully tried several times to part with their mistress; for those who are just planning to do it for the first time; on those who delayed with this decision and waited for him to be abandoned himself. But, most importantly, for those who, from their personal experience, have already become convinced that: parting with a mistress and forgetting a mistress are, unfortunately, far from the same thing!

So: how to forget a mistress? Unfortunately, this issue is very relevant for millions of men around the world. Moreover, its relevance is associated not only with the very fact of the numerous betrayals, but with the fact that regularly cheating on his wife with the same woman, men almost always underestimate the risk that they will fall deeply in love and become strongly attached. It seems to men for a very long time that they are “strong as flint”, but the very first serious quarrel with parting with their mistress quickly puts them in their place, showing them that they will not be able to live as before, the leash of love is short, the collar is strict, and to lose the woman that is optimally suited in sex is very painful. After that, some men begin to dutifully serve the passion that conquered them, giving gifts, financing her life and promising to leave the family; others flutter sluggishly, periodically testing the strength of the love trap: “What if it’s possible to escape from this woman right now?”

I am not talking about this by chance. Because it is important for me to dispel the myth that, unfortunately, is very common in the male community and the Internet. Namely, the myth that if you want to end a relationship with a mistress and forget the mistress then it is supposedly possible to slowly and smoothly “roll up” or “strangle” them: gradually reduce the number of personal meetings, calls and messages; have sex not at every meeting, but after a certain number of meetings; stop going as a couple to public places or to mutual friends; stop planning joint actions; less and less deeply interested in each other's affairs, mood and well-being, etc. I will say right away: this scheme for terminating a love relationship definitely does not work! Not only is this sadism and a mockery of people and their feelings, it also not only does not help to curtail and end the connection, but also inflames passion even more. Especially for someone who thus "suffocates the relationship." Man, in fact, "suffocates" himself. As a matter of fact, it is precisely such male lovers who, before parting with their mistress, a number of times tried to “quietly end the relationship” for a psychologist, cause the greatest number of problems for a psychologist. They are the hardest to work with. This is about the same as a patient would be brought to the surgeon who would try to remove a trifling splinter from a finger with a large ax or a powerful perforator.

Hence, I say: If a man himself made a fundamental decision to stop cheating on his wife with another woman (or he is prompted to do so by his wife who found out about this connection), such a decision can and should be successfully implemented only immediately and abruptly ending the existing connection. Without any agreements on the topic: “we are still close people and therefore we will periodically call each other for some time, keep each other informed about our lives, help each other in solving various problems, arrange nostalgic “evenings of meetings and memories” , have sex purely for friendship, etc.”

However, more on this later. Now I need to debunk another myth. The myth that if a man does not see prospects in a relationship with his mistress, but cannot and does not want to end the relationship himself, you just need to become either very lethargic and apathetic in them, or, conversely, aggressive and jealous, and then the woman herself will do it for his lover "dirty work": he will get himself another partner and this relationship will end by itself. I also say right away: this scheme not only does not work from the point of view of terminating communication with a mistress, but also works just to strengthen this connection, and it also hurts the psychology of the supposedly “leaving” man, in particular, his male pride.

Because, whatever the abstract-theoretical desire of a cheating husband to part with his mistress and forget the mistress the information that some man appeared in her bed (if it’s different, then the best!), Can’t leave anyone indifferent. Hence the outbursts of jealousy and rage, which means the logical kindling of a seemingly dying fire of love and passion. It is from here - an acute desire to return that departing woman, it would seem with whom, just yesterday, he sincerely sought to part. Exactly from here - such a sharp change in the behavior of the cheating husband, who begins to rush about and run after his departing passion, when, because of this, the wife's observation suddenly turns on, and, to her horror, she belatedly notices her husband's double life. It is from here that at least half of those cases when a man declares his readiness to leave the family and live with the woman who has already begun to sleep with some other man, when before that he not only did not consider such an option for developing his own biography, but condemned!

And even if a man was able to gather all his will into a fist and let his mistress say goodbye to him herself, this is almost guaranteed to affect his psyche and health! From such stress, a man's immunity will collapse and depression will develop. After that, against the background of psycho-somatics, pressure may increase, an ulcer, asthma, eczema will begin to develop, all existing chronic diseases will become aggravated, etc. And even if he maintains his health, a man not only will not be able to improve his relationship with his existing wife, but also runs the risk of completely worsening and destroying them. In this case, a man will either slide into depression and alcoholism (with the destruction of his career and life in general), or search for new betrayals, where everything can happen again and again. With the continued deterioration of the physical and mental health of men.

Having given you a useful warning, I turn to the point and the concrete plan. How to forget a mistress after several months or years of relationship? To make this possible, it is important to behave correctly during the first three, psychologically most difficult months. It is at this time that the psyche experiences the greatest stress and it needs every possible help. To do this, apply these simple, but extremely useful and thousands of times proven my advice.

20 tips,

1. How to forget your mistress - The final conversation should be personal, but brief.

A man should have a personal conversation with his mistress, clearly indicating that this relationship ends completely and forever. It is pointless, useless and unnecessary to argue this decision with something other than the desire to save your marriage. Firstly, you may not be heard, because you have a feeling of love and affection and / or you have money. Secondly, this conversation cannot be turned into work with objections, when the mistress will either respond to your claims or promise to fix everything. You don't need all of this.

It’s still right to talk in person, and not on the phone or in correspondence. Since in these cases the woman will still look for a personal meeting with you to talk face to face. Of course, the conversation should be carried out while sober. It should not contain any insults or rudeness, since both sides are always guilty of treason. Moreover, after talking about what you put an end to, there should not be an intimate relationship. They expressed their firm position and left. No matter how the feeling of greed itchs, you can’t take any of your gifts, neither jewelry, nor cars, nor anything else: If you were a man in a relationship with a woman, you need to remain a man at the time of parting and after it.

2. How to forget your mistress - You need to be prepared for the fact that your mistress will fight for you.

You need to understand: as long as a man treats a woman normally and has money and some opportunities, it is difficult for her to let him go. Therefore, a man should be prepared for the fact that he will be persecuted: they will write to him on social networks and through all types of communication; call; guard near the house, work and gym; create any excuses to "like by chance" meet anywhere; threaten suicide; blackmail by talking to his wife or passing compromising information to the police or the tax office; ask for help in specially created critical situations, such as road accidents, illnesses, etc.

No matter how unexpected and unpleasant it all looks, no matter how harsh words are thrown at him, no matter how the abandoned mistress tries to hurt the man, and harm his property, you need to behave calmly and not succumb to provocations. Therefore, a man who has parted with his mistress may well visit a psychologist or psychotherapist in a timely manner, including prescribing sedatives or hypnotics and even antidepressants.

3.How to forget a mistress After parting with your mistress, you need to completely block all communication channels. Block her on all phones and social networks. If necessary, even close your profiles or even remove yourself from social networks. Quit your job or change office and department if your mistress is your colleague. Change your routes to and from work and the places you usually visit and where you might meet an ex-girlfriend. Refuse to walk in those places where you walked together, from visits to those cafes and shops where she can pay a visit; from visits to common companies of friends and those events where a meeting is possible.

4.How to forget your mistress - Do not be interested in the life of your former passion, both personal and in general. Do not let your mutual acquaintances or specially sent to you girlfriends of your mistress tell you about how she lives. Don't follow her social media profiles; do not be jealous of her new relationship partners and do not sort things out with them, do not count how many hours she spends in various instant messengers. Do not congratulate her on the holidays and her birthday, do not offer your help and advice, do not do nasty things to her or her loved ones. Just hand over the entire history of your communication to the archive and forget.

5. How to forget a mistress - Remove everything that can cause associations with a former mistress. First of all, remove all her gifts (scarves, ties, cufflinks, pens, gadgets, etc.). Erase all her photos and messages on the phone and social networks, burn all letters and printed photos, throw away those of her personal things that the girl did not take away from your meeting places (toothbrushes, stockings, perfume, etc.). Stop consuming those dishes that she cooked or preferred. Do not watch her favorite shows, movies, series, Internet channels, etc. Do not go to those countries, cities and hotels where you went with your mistress. If you had sex with her in your car, sell the car and buy another one. If you rented an apartment for meetings, rent it back. If you went to the same gym, spa or beauty salon, change it all. And so on through the entire possible list of associations. The more associations you eliminate, the easier it will be to forget.

7. How to forget your mistress - Eliminate excessive drinking. During the period of stress after the end of the relationship, in strict accordance with the genetic predetermined settings, the brain of a man only thinks about how to restore the connection with the usual sexual object. He will use every opportunity for this and drunken breakdowns are the best opportunity for this. Hence, in the period of the first months it is necessary either to exclude altogether, or at least to minimize the use of alcoholic beverages. Otherwise, drunk, you will either call or write to your ex, or start guarding in the courtyard of her house. After that, everything will be restored and spin with renewed vigor.

8. How to forget your mistress - Restore and brighten intimate relationships with your wife. If, having lost a sexual partner that is comfortable for you, you cannot get the same quantity and quality of sex (those of its types) that took place in bed with your mistress, your struggle to end the relationship will either be extremely painful for you, or will end with the restoration of a broken connection or the appearance new mistress. Therefore, at any cost, work with your wife so that a sexual revival occurs in the family. To do this, help your wife in everyday life and with children, spend interesting leisure time with your wife. Don't skimp on your lawful wife: spend a lot of money on updating her wardrobe (including underwear), send her to nutritionists, stylists and makeup artists, to beauty salons, spas and swimming pools. If you manage to make your wife attractive to you both on the street and in bed, your chances of forgetting your mistress will increase. If you cannot do this, there will be problems. Therefore, it still needs to be done. And, quickly.

9. How to forget your mistress - Pay more attention to sports and nutrition. First of all, pay more attention to endurance and strength training. Try to run crosses (including on a cardio machine) for at least ten kilometers, pedal an exercise bike or bicycle. Work out large muscle groups until it hurts - hips, chest, back, triceps. The more you sweat and get tired, the more your body will produce the hormone serotonin, which is a natural antidepressant and will quickly utilize the “bad” hormones released from the stress of separation – adrenaline and norepinephrine. This will give you good sleep and save you from being treated with medical antidepressants and sleeping pills. It will be especially good if you start visiting together with your legal spouse and (if possible) with children.

In addition: during the period of parting, do not forget to treat yourself to delicious and sweet things: cakes, buns, sweets, cookies, cakes, nuts, condensed milk, cocoa, coffee, etc. All this contains an important amino acid tryptophan, from which your body will produce hormones that stabilize your behavior - serotonin, dopamine, endorphin. Do not be afraid to "seize" the problem for the first months after parting - with active sports behavior, you will easily burn these calories, but your psychology will be in a positive tone.

10. How to forget your mistress- Find interesting or even extreme activities, preferably outdoors and under the rays of the Sun. Hobbies such as - motorcycling, mountain biking, rafting, diving, parasailing, bungee, mountaineering, rock climbing, caving, surfing, kiting, yachting, paragliding, hang gliding, alpine skiing, snowboarding, snowmobiling, equestrianism, archery, knife fighting , hard martial arts (etc.), forcing the brain to concentrate on new and complex activities, distract a person from the sad feelings of parting so much that they give a quick and positive effect. Especially if all this happens in the open air and under the rays of the Sun, which is also necessary for the production of natural antidepressants in the body.

In my practice, there were stories when the quick forgetting of mistresses was associated with such activities as search work (in places of former battles), treasure hunting, spearfishing and search diving, spinning trophy fishing, ordinary hunting, sports poker (without money), hockey , football and even billiards. The main thing is to seriously get carried away with this and deal with it systematically.

11. How to forget your mistress - Stay at home less, be in the company of people more often. Being at home, in a familiar interior and social circle does not give the brain work at all, does not distract from sad feelings about the loss of lovers. The brain must be loaded as much as possible all the time. To do this, for the first months, try to only spend the night at home, all your free time going out with your family to visit friends, as well as shopping and entertainment centers, walking along the embankments and parks, cinemas and cafes, theaters and museums. Not only will this culturally develop you yourself - you will return the debt to your children and wife, whom you obviously abandoned during the heyday of your relationship with your mistress.

12. How to forget your mistress - Go to work with your head. Cheating rarely leads to a man's career and financial takeoff. There is a pattern of a different kind here: a career and financially successful man is quickly molested by women who want to give birth to him. And while a man either meets these female wishes or stubbornly evades the role destined for him, he gradually launches his labor activity. Therefore, having decided to break the connection with your mistress, it's time to roll up your sleeves and get to work. Thus creating starting conditions for a new start to success. Just be careful with a long stay in the office in the evening: another woman can put her eye on a lonely working man ...

13. Engage yourself in social, political, charitable, religious, educational projects. If you are doing so well at work or in business that you have a lot of free time, you should definitely find where to use it. Otherwise, at the time that you previously specially freed for visits to your mistress, some other woman will invade. Therefore, you can and should read the Internet, get acquainted with those public, political, charitable, religious, educational projects that are being implemented in your village, city or region. And try yourself in the business that will arouse your interest. Maybe you are an excellent volunteer, a future human rights activist, a philanthropist or a deputy, an educator or a people's controller. And it is thanks to the suffering that you go through after parting with your mistress that some important page in your biography will open.

14. How to Forget Your Lover - Refresh and expand your social circle. The most interesting thing that captures the entire human brain is the analysis of those new people that appear in the social circle. Therefore, in order to forget one person, you should meet and start communicating with people new to you. These may be those of your work colleagues with whom you have not communicated before; parents of those children with whom your children play in kindergarten, school or circle; neighbors in the entrance or parking lot; those who visit the same gym or pool with you; fishermen and hunters, those people who share your hobby or passion. Active communication with such people, especially if you manage to involve your entire family in it, will definitely have a beneficial effect on your psychological state.

15. How to forget your mistress - Engage in improving your educational level. If you find it difficult to start communicating with people new to you on your own initiative, remember: for this you can and should use various group activities with anything: retraining and advanced training courses, foreign language courses, business schools, personal growth trainings, any other educational courses, up to taking classes in wine schools or proper dietary nutrition. Remember: where there are people, interesting information and cheerful laughter, it will definitely become noticeably easier for you to survive parting with your mistress.

16. How to forget your mistress - Take exciting trips around the region, country and world. Another great way to not sit at home, meet new people and dissolve the depression of losing a lover in vivid impressions is to travel and travel. Moreover, we are not talking about lazy trips to five-star hotels on an all-inclusive basis, but about those tours that you develop for yourself. It is not necessary to hitchhike, you can rent a car or drive your own car, organize a bus or even a bicycle tour in your region or abroad. There are also voyages on luxury liners, ecological, photographic, gastronomic, religious, historical and cultural, volcanological, speleological and even fishing tourism. Everything is open to you, your friends and of course your family. And it will also bring positivity into your life.

17. How to forget your mistress - Never tell the story of your betrayal to other people. It is known: "who - about what, and lousy - about the bath!". This proverb reflects the fact that the leading theme for personal experiences necessarily asks to come out, strives to become a common property. And this is precisely where the mechanism of self-preservation of experiences is hidden: the more people you tell about your feelings and sad experience, the better you will remember it yourself and penetrate it more deeply. Therefore, in an effort to forget both your mistress and your feelings about parting as quickly as possible, you should avoid talking about this story. You do not need to discuss the identity of your ex-girlfriend with your wife, friends, colleagues, or other women. Because the risk is too great to wind yourself up emotionally so that you can’t stand it and fall into a tailspin: call or write to your former mistress, automatically transferring her to the “acting” category. And putting that genie back in the bottle is going to be oh so difficult.

So, no matter how someone tells you about their own infidelities in your presence, no matter how it corresponds to your own personal experience, keep your mouth shut!

18. How to forget your mistress - Start building something, change apartment or region / country of residence. Another proven way to distract yourself from boredom is to start making repairs in an apartment, or build a house or a summer house, or move to live in a completely different region or even country. Such cardinal changes force a person to fully mobilize all his volitional, intellectual and emotional abilities, and the complexity of what lies ahead of you distracts from everything that happened in the past. Here you are and leave the longing for your mistress ...

19. How to forget your mistress - Revise your meaning of life, come up with new goals and Missions. In itself, the presence of a mistress with whom you have a delicious dinner, hot fun in bed, have fun and spend your (or rather, family) money means that you live according to a biological scenario, not much different from male chimpanzees or gorillas. So maybe it's time to remember that you are still a Human, and therefore some Great Meaning, some Great Goals and an Important Mission should be present in your life?! I will not impose on you the options for all this now, just read my articles under the headings “The Meaning of Life” on the website site ”and you will have something to think about. And I would like you to think about it. Because the appearance of a mistress is always a clear sign that a man has stopped thinking about what he is doing and why he is doing it. To get distracted and forget about past betrayal, it's time to find something deep and intellectual in yourself, and not superficial and physical. In the end, you should be remembered in this world not by the number of women and not by the amount of money spent on them, but by some other qualities and achievements. Which one is up to you.

20. How to forget your mistress - Eliminate the creation of new betrayals. As a psychologist, I recognize the fact that "a wedge is knocked out with a wedge." It is easiest to forget one woman when another, even more interesting, appears in a man's life. But the trouble is that forgetting one mistress in the arms of other women has many risks. Firstly, falling in love with someone else is quite difficult right away: in the first months and even years after parting, the love program and the adaptation to a permanent sexual partner associated with it will prevent this in every possible way. And the disappointment that the charm of other women is not enough to forget a former lover can make a man believe that that woman was really "the one and only", thereby provoking a restoration of relations. Another scenario is also possible: an unspent acute desire to give your warmth can easily switch to another sexual object, deceiving both you and your new girlfriend. It will seem to you that you have finally found what you missed so much in life, you will cling to another friend literally with all your might, conquer her with your activity, convince her to start creating a serious relationship with you, and then ... one day you will come to your senses and you will understand that you just recovered like that, but this woman still did not become close and dear to you. But the mechanism of the ruin of your life and the life of this other woman may already be set in motion; you promise what you cannot fulfill; a few more years of your and someone else's life will be lost ...

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When a woman finds out about her husband's infidelity, a most difficult life streak immediately sets in for her. After the first shock, explanations with her husband, the woman still has a lot of unresolved issues. It is necessary to decide how to live on, what to do with common property, and most importantly, to be able to quickly forget unpleasant moments. Let's talk in more detail about how to forget your husband's betrayal and the advice of a psychologist will help you deal with a difficult situation.

From any, it would seem the most difficult situation, you can always find a way out. The main thing is to competently approach the solution of the problem that has arisen, to solve it calmly, without panic. This also applies to the situation when a loved one betrayed.

At first, it is difficult for a woman who has learned about betrayal to even imagine how to forget her husband's betrayal. To resolve the issue, try the following suggestions:

• before making any decision regarding the unfaithful spouse, you must finally make sure that there really was a betrayal;


• evidence of a spouse's betrayal can be his confession or some evidence obtained personally by you. Do not trust photos, conversations from instant messengers or other information received from unauthorized persons. People may be interested in disrupting your family relationships and forging evidence;


• don't even trust your best friends. In a relationship between two, there should be no third parties.

Rarely, but it happens when seemingly strangers are interested in terminating your relationship. Never exclude such a possibility, act very carefully.

How to forget the betrayal of a loved one, so as not to return to a difficult and unpleasant situation? Try following these steps:

• before attacking your husband, give him the opportunity to somehow explain himself;


• without a frank conversation, it will not be possible to make a competent decision. Often, if not always, both spouses are to blame. Whatever the reason for the betrayal, she says that the relationship has cracked;


• having learned the true reason for the betrayal, analyze what happened and think about how to continue to behave with a man;


• It won't take long to calm down completely. You don’t know how to forget the betrayal of your loved one, so try to calm down first, and then wait a while.

Not all women are able to cope alone with the stress when they find out about the betrayal of their spouse. You should not wait for the situation to normalize on its own, it is better to seek the advice of a psychologist.

1. psychologists distinguish such a problem as the incompleteness of the action. The bottom line is this: any action must necessarily end with something. Otherwise, the problem will depress the psyche. So it is with betrayal. If everything ended only with a conversation, it is difficult for a woman to forget about what happened;


2. to get rid of the problem, you need to set a task for yourself, then complete it. For example, you figured out the reason for your husband’s infidelity, but you don’t know what to do next. It means that thoughts about this will not let go, they will interfere with a quiet life;


3. in order to quickly forget about betrayal, you need to adjust your behavior in such a way as to make a firm and final decision. If you are going to forgive your husband, then forgive and forget the insults. Decided to leave - do it and get it out of your head too.

Any decision should be made only in a calm state. In a strong disorder, in emotional stress, it will not be possible to accept

If you continue to live with your husband, then do not remember every conflict situation about his mistake. Especially when the spouse sincerely repented. Don't bring up old sins. Since you gave your husband a chance, then give him the opportunity to use it. So the woman herself will be easier to forget about what happened.

How to forget about the betrayal of her husband? Stop the compassionate attitude in yourself, and you can look at the situation differently.

Where does pity come from when it comes to treason? The woman feels unhappy, injured, she becomes offended. The deceived wife begins to feel sorry for herself. And pity is one of the worst definitions. Feeling sorry for yourself means feeling worthless, inferior to someone else. This lowers self-esteem, confidence disappears.

It is even worse if, despite the betrayal of a man, the wife begins to feel sorry for him. Think about how you are worse than your man to be humiliated like that. What advantages does he have that gives him the right to humiliate the woman he once loved. Answer these questions honestly for yourself, and put pity out of your head.

It is difficult to forget about the betrayal of a beloved husband. And if there are common children in the family, then the situation is doubly complicated.

• so that your head is not clogged with thoughts of betrayal, do something interesting. Find an activity that will take up all your free time so that there is no time to be distracted by such thoughts;


• in order not to fill your head with thoughts of betrayal, read the statistics. Almost every family at least once, but experienced the betrayal of one of the partners. It doesn't get any easier than that, of course. But think, if everyone continued to think about betrayal, then the relationship and later life would stop;


• in some exceptional cases, cheating acts as a reset of the relationship. The spouses continue to live together, and their feelings are not only restored, but reach a new level.

The most difficult and unpleasant test can also be viewed from a positive side. This is another page of life experience. After experiencing a betrayal, you will begin to look at relationships differently, become wiser.

Probably every girl is faced with the problem of overweight? Indeed, sometimes it is not easy to lose weight, look slim and beautiful, remove the sides or stomach. Diets do not help, there is no strength and desire to go to the gym, or it does not bring tangible results.

As you know, the relationship between the stronger and the weaker sex begins with mutual sympathy, which develops into love, because each of us seeks to find his life partner and it is our site that will help you build really strong relationships and become happy.

A cheating spouse is one of the worst blows for a loving woman. How to act in this case and what to do - the woman must decide for herself.

But since this problem is as old as the world, there is a lot of good advice from psychologists, priests, and simply wise instructions from time immemorial on how to help a husband forget his mistress, which is worth listening to in a difficult moment.

What's in the article:

It is not always possible to visit an experienced psychologist and get competent advice. However, there are universal tips, which we present here.

1. First of all, try to calm down. This is difficult to do, but it should be remembered that only in a calm state can you move on without harming yourself and your marriage. If that doesn't work, use meditation techniques, or, as the saying goes, "time heals," give yourself time to recover. Try not to do stupid things in the heat of the moment, do not try to take revenge on your mistress, do not tell all your relatives and friends about your husband's betrayal, and most importantly - do not make a grand scandal to your husband.
2. The second stage of your actions: you need to make sure that her husband's infidelity is a proven fact. There is always the possibility that someone is trying to mislead you, intentionally wants to ruin your life. The proof of infidelity can be the confession of a husband, or facts obtained personally by you, but not by strangers, since even best friends in such a delicate matter should not be trusted.
3. A frank conversation with your husband is essential. Only then can you make the right decision. During the conversation, you will find out the true reason for the betrayal, understand if this is your fault, decide how to behave further.
4. If you decide to save the marriage, do not arrange more scenes of jealousy, remember that now your task is to help your husband forget his mistress forever.
5. If you see your past mistakes that could lead to cheating, analyze them and start correcting them urgently. Reconsider your life, your attitude towards your husband.
6. It is quite possible to help your spouse forget his mistress, but only after you yourself can forgive him and forget the offense. After that, lightness and sincerity will appear in your relationship, and this is an important guarantee of a warm and trusting relationship.
7. The next important tip is to take care of yourself! Paradoxical as it may seem, the method is efficient and effective. Switch your husband's attention to yourself, find new bright colors in yourself, surprise and delight.
8. Remember that you can help your husband forget his mistress only if he wants it himself, if he wants to save his family and is completely repentant.
9. Complete the actions you have started, act in stages, set yourself up positively.
10. If you cannot cope with the problem alone, seek the help of a psychologist.

Women's secrets

Often, wives intuitively apply many preventive measures to prevent their husband from cheating. These female tricks will also help in a situation where treason has already occurred.

• Involve your husband more often in family worries and affairs, since there are always plenty of them: repairs in the apartment, lessons with children, joint purchases, walks and holidays.
• Often men hide their relationship, they are afraid that the wife will find out everything. Therefore, having learned about the existence of a mistress, do not arrange a showdown and scandals, but pretend that nothing happened. Let your husband think you don't know anything. In this case, your actions will be much more effective, he is more likely to forget his mistress if he does not understand the reason for your transformation.
• Change your image, style, buy new expensive clothes, make a new hairstyle. You just need positive emotions.
• Do what you always dreamed about, but never had enough time: study ballroom dancing, foreign languages, sign up for a pool, a gym.
• Go on a trip together or at least to a circus, a theater, a restaurant, just for a tour. Organize a meeting of old friends, nothing brings you closer than shared memories.
• Remember the old truth that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Analyze your daily menu, add something new, unexpected to it, make the food not just delicious, but divinely delicious and homely, then your missus will soon forget about going to a restaurant with his mistress.
• Use the methods that his mistress uses in the fight for her husband. First, compliments and praise, but here you need not to overdo it and try to be sincere. Good advice - use your chic appearance, because you are a woman, and you will succeed.
• Try to find out as much as possible about your opponent: her abilities, interests and preferences. Know her strengths and weaknesses to counter when she takes decisive action to "capture" your husband. This can happen at any moment, and you must be prepared for this, in no case do not enter into open scandals with your mistress and do not succumb to provocations.
• Tactfully and carefully “denigrate” his mistress in the eyes of her husband. Come up with discrediting facts about her connection with other men. This method is effective if the husband does not know that he is disclosed. You need to act very carefully.
• Lead a "cold war" with your mistress. Spread unpleasant rumors about her, put her in awkward situations, while remaining calm and patient. Revenge is a dish best served cold. Know how to stop in time: when your anger begins to fade, and your family life will be restored.

It is also not easy for a woman who believes in God to survive betrayal, although she is well aware that this test is sent to her from above. Prayers will help her save her family and help her husband forget his mistress. For the guidance of the husband on the true path, one should pray to the Mother of God, the intercessor and helper of all women, in this case, refer to the icon "Joy of All Who Sorrow." You should also pray to the faithful Peter and Fevronia of Murom, Saint Matrona, Nicholas the Wonderworker. In this difficult period, it is good to attend church and light candles for the well-being of the family, just turn to God daily. If you attend church regularly but don't know how to help your husband forget his mistress, a priest who knows you and your family can give good advice.

Remember that your sincere faith will help you save your family. Turn to God with a pure soul and pure thoughts, with all your heart forgiving your husband's betrayal. Even if you do not know special prayers, a sincere request and good wishes will be heard.

Be aware that in Orthodoxy there is no prayer for the punishment of a mistress, or any kind of "lapel". A good prayer will strengthen your relationship, help save your marriage, and you can only ask God for this.

Esoterics

It often happens that a woman in this difficult period of her life turns to everyday esotericism. She tries with the help of conspiracies and various rituals to help her beloved forget another woman. For this, there is a whole arsenal of secret knowledge that people have been collecting for many centuries. And since the problem is as old as the world, here you can find proven old methods for solving it.

If the husband did not just cheat, but a love spell was imposed on him, then only a quick response move will help him return to the family. It will not be easy for you to recognize the conspiracy and remove it, perhaps here you should turn to a professional healer.

The article has been reviewed and approved by a psychologist. Gryzlova Olga Yurievna, special psychologist, 15 years of experience.

Hello dear readers!

Life sometimes throws up unpredictable "surprises", and meeting new people is no exception. About 90% of the fair sex admitted that having met a guy and falling in love a little, they begin to imagine a joint future. This is how female psychology works.

But the "stumbling block" in the candy-bouquet period can be the man's still unquenched love for his former passion. Consider how to help a guy get over his ex and have feelings for you.

Often in practice there are situations when a guy, after parting with a lady whom he met for several months or even years, cannot forget his love for a long time, even if a new “lady of the heart” has met on the way.

How to behave this very girl, whose missus cannot forget the former? It would seem that he shows interest, and gives gifts, and shows signs of attention, but the feeling of the presence of a third person in your relationship - the former passion does not leave.

There are two options: pretend that everything is fine and suffer from jealousy, or think about how to help the guy quickly forget his ex-lover and get gratitude in the form of a gleam in his eyes and boundless love for you. Here, everyone decides for herself what to do.

But there is one caveat: you need to make sure that your feelings for him are serious and get ready for a long, painstaking work so that it does not happen that after the former he will have to forget you too.

To understand yourself, to understand whether you value these relationships, as well as to change and become better, more tolerant and kinder, will help you

Is it worth trying?

The first question you should ask is: Do I need it? What drives you - selfishness (the desire to win a heart, "play" with it) or sincere feelings? After all, if your faithful cannot forget his ex-lover and is very worried about their separation, this indicates a strong affection.

Are you ready to live in fear that if (or when?) your ex-girlfriend returns to your boyfriend, he may return to her? This can have a bad effect not only on relationships, but also on your trust in the male half of humanity.

Despite the fact that men seem strong, their behavior is at some points even more vulnerable than that of women. Therefore, even with forgetting an ex-girlfriend, hitches and difficulties can arise. It's good when an ex-girlfriend has found her love and lives on the other side of the city, that the likelihood of a meeting is impossible.

It is much worse if the ex-girlfriend herself is ready to declare herself: random meetings on the street, calls, messages on social networks. If you really want to be together with a person who is still not indifferent to the other, gather your strength into a fist and start acting.

So, how can you help a guy forget his ex - advice from professionals.

1. Become friends

As cliche as it sounds, you need to become good friends. So it’s easier to build relationships, and the former passion will be forgotten much faster. You must understand that the heart of a young man is still busy, you do not need to impose your feelings and your company, especially if he wants to be alone. If you want to get as close to him as possible, you can do it as a friend: with understanding and compassion.

See also » «If you already have a loved one, and you want your relationship to always be strong and durable, you should become such a companion so that your loved one can be proud of you and tell his friends and colleagues what a happy man he is.

2. Don't pressure him

The process of rehabilitation after a relationship in men is sometimes longer and more difficult than in girls. Don't force your love. Surely, the guy is at a loss and does not believe in the sincerity of feelings. Your warm confessions will sound like ridicule or like unnecessary responsibility. Who will benefit from this?

3. Heart to heart talk

Get ready for the fact that at first he can only share memories of his former passion with you. No matter how unpleasant it is, listen and help calm down. Gradually begin to translate topics in a different direction. Learn about the hobbies of your beloved, make you remember the moments when he was happy without her.

Talk about motorcycles, cars, or music. If possible, visit places where he will definitely like: car exhibitions, concerts of musical groups, sporting events (matches). Over time, the guy will understand that he is happy, and it is you who make him so, therefore it is with you that he will associate his new emotions.

4. Don't be sorry

Men can't stand pity. Even if a man is sad, you should not feel sorry for him: reduce everything to the fact that now he has gained rich life experience, and that he will no longer step on the same rake.

On the contrary, try to emphasize all the advantages of parting (which means that she was not the one, the only one, which means that there is someone even better). The conversation should come down to the fact that this girl should feel bad, because she lost the best man in the world.

5. No talk about HER

In no case do not try to look more advantageous against the background of an ex-girlfriend. Do not mark her shortcomings and do not expose your merits. His heart still belongs to HER, so your attempts to become better may fail, and you will not cause anything but anger and pity.

Talk about neutral topics or the youngest person. Show him that an ex-girlfriend does not matter when he himself is a wonderful person and a wonderful personality.

If a girl wants to come back...

If the ex-girlfriend has already found her beloved and only, and the guy has forgotten her and is happy with you, you can congratulate you: you have completed your mission and received a reward.

But in practice, there are situations when, it would seem, the former lover is successfully forgotten, but at one fine moment she comes or calls, and with the words “I was wrong”, offers to renew the relationship. Naturally, the guy can succumb, and this is a normal reaction. But what about the new girl?

• First - no tantrums, scandals and even more reproaches. Do not remember how you have already "pulled" your beloved out of depression and how you made a normal person out of him.

• Try to explain to your young man that this girl has already acted badly once and can repeat her act. The truth will be on your side, and there is a good chance that he will listen.

If you understand how you can quickly and easily help a guy forget his former "lady of the heart", then now you have every chance of being loved and happy.

tattoo

Hello! About a month ago I found out that my husband was cheating. I asked myself, I felt that he began to treat me differently, as if he was keeping me at a distance and completely stopped hugging me. Sex has become less frequent, he always goes home looking for work, a garage, a visit to a friend, etc. He confirmed that he has a mistress for more than a year already. He knew this woman before he met me. We have been married for almost 20 years and have two children. I asked why he suddenly wanted to see her, what happened in our relationship, maybe I began to pay less attention to him. He says it's not about me. Can't explain. He does not want a divorce, he wants to save his family. But with all this, he cannot leave his mistress and cannot explain why! He just said he would try. He says that my talk only makes things worse. For more than a month I have a constant feeling of fear day and night. I love him and want to improve relations, return the former warmth, love and understanding between us. But it’s so hard for me, this is happening inside me, I don’t know what to do with all this. How to be? How to do the right thing?

tattoo

Good afternoon! We've been doing everything together for 20 years. My husband always said after sex that he loved me, and I told him. Now these words are gone, when I ask, he answers what kind of kindergarten, are you a little one. We used to go fishing with a tent, went together to friends and relatives, went to the cinema, just walked somewhere. Now there is nothing. It seems to me that he is trying to find any excuse to leave home. They used to go for mushrooms, now he goes alone. I used to feel his love, but now, no. I'm jumping like a dog in front of him, jumping, as if I've done something wrong to him.

tattoo

Of course I tried. He used to tell me that I invent everything and in general, I'm not 15 years old, so that kisses and hugs are necessary for me. Well, after I found out about the betrayal, he can’t explain to me why it’s hard for him to show his care and affection to me. He says he can't explain.

Good. Let's forget about your husband and his attitude towards you for a while.
Tell us about yourself, how is your typical day, what do you do? What mood are you in, do you like your life?
We forget about her husband for a while, we only talk about you.

tattoo

I work, I leave early, I arrive around 19h. Sometimes later. The weekend is on the week, then on Sunday, in different ways. From work to the store, home and cooking. I don't even see my kids very much. With my work schedule, I can’t even go to fitness. Sometimes with my daughter we go to the park, ride a bike, but also rarely. The eldest studies and works, I see very little. Sometimes I meet with friends, go shopping. Now nothing pleases at all, nastpoenie, touch a little and burst into tears. Constant anxiety. I have a hard time getting to work.

tattoo

He worries too. But I can’t understand why he can’t take and break off relations with her, he can’t even promise that he will do it. And as far as I could understand, he is afraid that the children might find out. And only I make the steps to the meeting. Sometimes it seems to me that it even suits him, he has a wife, she is at home and there is a mistress with whom you can have a good time.

You named the subject of the message "How to help your husband forget his mistress? He also wants to save the family"
What do you mean by wanting to help your husband?

What exactly is he worried about, do you think? (not touching children)
All I have heard now is that your husband is worried about what you have learned. He does not want to break off relations with that woman, and also does not want to change the usual way of life. He dictates his terms to both that woman and you. Itself is liquidated at any conversation about the current situation.

So, are you sure that your husband needs help?

tattoo

tattoo

He did not specifically say, but made it clear that it was difficult for him to leave immediately. From what I understand, she is his first love. And what to do to me while he understands it, I do not know. I'm going crazy. I think about it every minute. I want to try to take care of myself, maybe it’s like fitness, lose 7 kilograms. Maybe change my hairstyle a little. But I don’t know how to get rid of these thoughts and how to behave properly with my husband. Whether to talk to him about this more or let go of the situation a little for the time being.

tattoo

At the moment, I don't even know. I can't imagine what I would like. The main thing is not to be alone.

First of all, you cannot force anyone to be near you.
In order for any person to have a desire to spend time with you, conduct interesting conversations, share experiences, etc. Etc., you need to create conditions for this.

tattoo