I've been losing everything lately. Folk omens

Their absent-mindedness might seem funny if it weren't so much trouble. Without plane tickets, the vacation will not take place. Lost keys become a problem for the whole family. “Today, I don’t lose things so often, but I suffered a lot because of my absent-mindedness,” admits 37-year-old Olga. “The most unpleasant memory is connected with school: I managed to fail the annual math test because I lost my keys the day before and couldn’t get home all day before my parents arrived.”

At first glance, it may seem that this is just disorganization. Relatives, friends and colleagues reproach such a person for being indifferent to the requirements of real life and do not trust him with important matters. But, if you look more closely, there may be psychological reasons behind absent-mindedness.

forget too much

Many people forget or lose things from time to time. And this is not surprising, because forgetting is a natural mental process.

“Our consciousness is constantly affected by a powerful stream of information, and because of the threat of glut, it leaves a lot of facts without attention,” explains French psychoanalyst Gerard Pommier. “Therefore, we do most of the usual actions automatically - we put the keys in our pocket, put our mobile phone in our bag - and we don’t even realize it.” Yet some of us lose and forget things more often than others.

"I didn't want to make a commitment"

Victoria, 29 years old, logistics

“At work, I constantly lost all sorts of little things: either I’ll leave the keys to the office or the safe at home, or I can’t find a notebook with business records, or I’ll forget my wallet in the dining room. At first, I treated this with irony, considered absent-mindedness as a cute feature, and told colleagues and friends about it with a laugh. But at some point I noticed that they didn’t seem to take me seriously: at work, an interesting project was given to a colleague, a friend once said that she wouldn’t trust me even for an hour with her child. And then I realized: absent-mindedness, all these losses and forgetting - just an unwillingness to take responsibility for my life, fear of any obligations. Realizing this, I became a more pedantic person, and now my things are with me. In addition, the attitude of colleagues and friends towards me has changed for the better.

Unravel unconscious messages

“My husband and I could not agree for a long time where to go on vacation. I wanted to go to the sea, and my husband - to the mountains. In the end, I gave in, but the trip almost fell through: the day before I left, I lost my plane tickets,” says 32-year-old Anna.

“Often a lost thing can be considered as a symptom that reveals some kind of our problem, an internal conflict,” explains psychoanalytic psychotherapist Tatyana Drabkina. - This thing is most likely connected with that sphere of life (work, home, relationships with people), where we feel insecure, where something greatly disturbs us, does not satisfy us. For example, having lost her tickets, Anna unconsciously tried to inform her husband that the upcoming trip did not suit her, that her needs were not taken into account.

We are more likely to forget or lose things in a stressful situation or when we are preoccupied with what excites us. But as soon as we begin to realize what exactly worries us, absent-mindedness disappears.

What to do?

make friends with things

An easy way to become more mindful of things is to put emotion into them. Buy a funny keychain, a beautiful wallet. With things that we like, we tend to handle more carefully.

To take the responsibility

Thinking that we are losing things due to random circumstances (“I got pissed off at work”), we shift the responsibility to them and can’t influence the situation in any way. It is important to remember that the reason for our absent-mindedness is in ourselves, and a lost thing can symbolize some kind of our problem.

Ask yourself a question

What load would you like to get rid of? What worries you? Perhaps you internally reject this part of life, or, conversely, its value to you is so great that it causes anxiety that you cannot cope with.

Do not blame a loved one who is prone to losing things, but do not be condescending to him either. On the one hand, the more often you take part in the search for things, the more often you will be contacted with such a request. On the other hand, a loved one can in this way let you know that he feels confused, lonely.

If you pull away, then, in fact, you do not react in any way to the SOS signal that a person, albeit unconsciously, can afford. Be insightful and try to understand what is happening to him, what exactly he cannot tell you directly. And then already respond not to the symptom, but to the cause.

Their absent-mindedness might seem funny if it weren't so much trouble. Without plane tickets, the vacation will not take place. Lost keys become a problem for the whole family.

“Today, I don’t lose things so often, but I suffered a lot because of my absent-mindedness,” admits 37-year-old Olga. “My most embarrassing memory is from school: I managed to fail my yearly math test because I lost my keys the day before and couldn’t get home all day before my parents arrived.”

forget too much

Many people forget or lose their belongings from time to time. And this is not surprising, because forgetting is a natural mental process. “Our mind is continuously exposed to a powerful stream of information, and because of the threat of glut, it leaves a lot of facts without attention,” explains the French psychoanalyst Gerard Pommier (Gerard Pommier). “Therefore, we do most of the usual actions automatically – we put the keys in our pocket, put our mobile phone in our bag – and we don’t even realize it.” Yet some of us lose and forget our belongings more often than others.

Unconscious Messages

“My husband and I could not agree for a long time where to go on vacation. I wanted to go to the sea, and my husband - to the mountains. In the end, I relented, but the trip almost fell through: the day before I left, I lost my plane tickets,” says 32-year-old Anna. “Often a lost thing can be considered as a symptom that reveals some kind of our problem, an internal conflict,” explains psychoanalytic psychotherapist Tatyana Drabkina. - This thing is most likely connected with that area of life (work, home, relationships with people), where we feel insecure, where something greatly worries us, does not satisfy us. For example, having lost her tickets, Anna unconsciously tried to inform her husband that the upcoming trip did not suit her, that her needs were not taken into account. We are more likely to forget or lose our belongings when we are stressed or preoccupied with what we care about. But as soon as we begin to realize what exactly worries us, absent-mindedness disappears.

"I didn't want to make a commitment"

Victoria, 29 years old, logistics

“At work, I constantly lost all sorts of little things: either I’ll leave the keys to the office or the safe at home, or I can’t find a notebook with business records, or I’ll forget my wallet in the dining room. At first, I treated this with irony, considered absent-mindedness as my sweet feature, and told my colleagues and friends about it with a laugh. But at some point I noticed that they didn’t seem to take me seriously: at work, an interesting project was given to a colleague, a friend once said that she wouldn’t trust me even for an hour with her child. And then I realized: my absent-mindedness, all these “losses” and “forgetting” are just an unwillingness to take responsibility for my life, fear of any obligations. Realizing this, I became a more pedantic person, and now my things are with me. In addition, the attitude of colleagues and friends towards me has changed for the better.

What to do?

- Make friends with things

An easy way to become more mindful of things is to put your emotions into them. Buy a funny keychain, a beautiful wallet. With things that we like, we tend to handle more carefully.

- To take the responsibility

- Ask yourself a question

It’s helpful to ask yourself, “If the loss meant something, what did it mean?” Listen to your emotions: somewhere on the periphery of irritation or confusion, you can find relief. It is this experience that can lead you to the correct answer. What load would you like to get rid of? What worries you? Perhaps you internally reject this part of life, or, conversely, its value to you is so great that it causes anxiety that you cannot cope with.

Advice to an outsider

Do not blame a loved one who is prone to losing their things, but do not be condescending to him either. On the one hand, the more often you take part in the search for things, the more often you will be contacted with such a request. On the other hand, a loved one can in this way let you know that he feels confused, lonely. If you pull away, then, in fact, you do not react in any way to the SOS signal that a person, albeit unconsciously, can afford. Be insightful and try to understand what is happening to him, what exactly he cannot tell you directly. And then already respond not to the symptom, but to the cause.

NEGLIGENCE WITH SECRET INTENT

Who would have thought that complex psychological problems are hidden behind ordinary absent-mindedness! I made this amazing discovery at the “Know Yourself” training seminar, which was conducted by the candidate of medical sciences, psychotherapist Semyon Sherman.

What is the most expensive item you have lost recently? he asked me.

Cell phone, - I confessed and explained the reason. There was a weak clip on his case. And while walking, he unhooked from the belt of his trousers.

Not! Semyon Grigoryevich assured me. - The reason is much deeper. Without suspecting it, you deliberately committed negligence - you didn’t follow it.

Specially? - I was indignant. - It was a new and very expensive phone!

Remember who you talked to the most on that phone before you lost it? the doctor squinted slyly.

I have remembered. Then I was strongly pestered by one unpleasant type. I've exhausted all my nerves...

Here, Sherman concludes with satisfaction. - The phone got lost and the problem was solved. You stopped communicating with the enemy.

UNNECESSARY UMBRELLA

Laughter is laughter, but Sigmund Freud spoke about the unconscious intent that accompanies certain losses. And he assured me that they can often be regarded as a symptom that reveals some kind of our problem, an internal conflict. And this lost thing, most likely, will be connected with that area of life - be it work or relationships with loved ones, where we feel insecure, where something does not satisfy us.

As proof, Freud always cited the example of a boy who constantly lost toys that he did not like or were tired of.

Or it often happens that an umbrella has just been lying in front of your eyes - you look around, but it is no longer there, - philosopher and psychoanalyst Anna Kiryanova gives another example. - And he “disappears” from the field of view because on a subconscious level you understand: you just don’t want to take an umbrella. Moreover, weather forecasts, as a rule, do not justify themselves.

Or another example: we lose the address of a person, rummage through all the notebooks - in vain. It's like you wrote the address in disappearing ink. This suggests that subconsciously we do not want to maintain a relationship with this "addressee".

NO KEYS - NO SCANDAL

Many often lose the keys to the house, I say. - Some kind of self-harm is obtained ...

Those who regularly lose their keys to the house confess in a conversation that they have tense relationships in the family and they do not want to return home, where a scandal or hostile relationship awaits them, the psychologist explains. - It happens that people cannot remember where they put the keys. This speaks of fatigue, "intoxication" from communication and the desire to be alone.

It is not uncommon for many of us to forget or lose our belongings in a stressful situation or when we are preoccupied with something that excites us. But as soon as we begin to realize what exactly worries us, then absent-mindedness disappears.

Here is one case told in one psychological magazine: “At work, I constantly lost all sorts of little things: either I leave the keys to the office or the safe at home, or I can’t find a notebook with business records, or I forget my wallet in the dining room,” writes Victoria, 29 years old , logistics. - At first I treated this with irony, considered absent-mindedness as my sweet feature, with a laugh I told my colleagues and friends about it. But at some point I noticed that they didn’t seem to take me seriously: at work, an interesting project was given to a colleague, a friend once said that she wouldn’t trust me even for an hour with her child. And then I realized: my absent-mindedness, all these “losses” and “forgetting” are just an unwillingness to take responsibility for my life, fear of any obligations. Realizing this, I became a more pedantic person, and now I have my things with me. In addition, the attitude of colleagues and friends towards me has changed for the better.

BELIEVE - DON'T BELIEVE

Psychoanalyst Daria BEREZHNAYA:

If you have lost something and are sure that it is at home, then you need to do the following. When you go to bed, think very strongly about this thing, imagine it in every detail. Remember the stories associated with it. And already in a dream you will see certain symbols that will help you find it. Of course, it is unlikely that you will see in a dream the closet behind which your loss has fallen. But some identification marks that will give you guidelines will definitely be a dream. When you wake up, listen to your intuition and go in the direction it sends you. And there, most likely, you will find the loss.

There is also a folk method. You need to say: “Damn, damn it, play and give it back,” thinking about the lost thing. And she will show up soon.

PSYCHOLOGIST'S ADVICE

Ways to beat distraction

Elena SHAKHNOVSKAYA, consultant psychologist, author of Psychologies magazine:

1. You need to make friends with things.

An easy way to become more mindful of things is to put your emotions into them. Buy a funny keychain, a beautiful wallet. With things that we like, we tend to handle more carefully.

2. Take responsibility.

3. Ask yourself a question.

On the one hand, the more often you take part in the search for things, the more often you will be contacted with such a request. On the other hand, a loved one can in this way let you know that he feels confused, lonely. If you pull away, then, in fact, you do not react in any way to the SOS signal that a person, albeit unconsciously, can afford. Be insightful and try to understand what is happening to him, what exactly he cannot tell you directly. And then already respond not to the symptom, but to the cause.

FOLK SIGNS

Values of finds

If you find an old key, then it promises an early resolution of some problems. As in the fairy tale "Alice in Wonderland", it will open new doors and new opportunities.

A found ring can bring bad luck, because it is very closely related to the person who wore it.

To find a cross is to take on the burden of other people's suffering. It is best to take such a find to the temple, where they will tell you what to do with it.

If money is found, then part of it must be given to poor, needy people, and the rest spent on some trifles, so that they leave just as easily as they came.

Finding some kind of animal on the street - a dog or a cat - is also not accidental. It's like your test, exam, test. What will you do with this animal: will you drive it out, feed it or take it to yourself - depending on this, your future will develop. Found cats usually bring great happiness.

But the found treasure can bring misfortune. No wonder there is a proverb: "If you get a treasure, you won't be at home." After all, when someone buries a treasure, they wish with all their heart that they would not find it. And he curses in advance the one who finds it.

Lost money yesterday, today keys, tomorrow... What if you can't keep track of your things? If you are constantly losing something?

Psychologists look at the annoying human (including yours) absent-mindedness from an optimistic side. Only what causes negative emotions in us disappears, they assure. And they offer to regard each loss as… gain.

I haven't forgotten, I'm defending myself!

According to the grandfather of modern psychoanalysis, absent-mindedness is nothing more than a form of protection of the body from ... actions planned by the brain. Let's say, on your way home from work, you think about what you need to make a broken switch. But, having crossed the threshold, the first thing you do is put the kettle on, then they call you on the phone, then your wife turns on the TV on some very interesting program, and then it’s time to sleep. Thus, the switch remains unrepaired for several more days. Think you're just "distracted and forgot"? No matter how. Such absent-mindedness is explained by the unwillingness of a tired organism to perform such work.

Unconscious "protection" is the cause of all kinds of losses. Freud assumed that things “running away” from a person are connected with a certain area of his life - whether it be work or relationships with loved ones - in which something seriously does not work out for the confused.

Key to boredom

A lost thing is a symptom that hints at a particular problem. Psychologists have deciphered the most common losses. If you find that you've been "lost"...

…mobile phone- remember who (or what) you most often talked to before the loss. Most likely, these conversations embarrassed you or stepped on some kind of hidden “corn”. And now: no phone, no problem;

… house keys. Those who regularly lose their keys to the doors admit that they have tense (or, on the contrary, too insipid) relationships in the family. They do not want to return home, where a scandal or banal boredom awaits them. Sometimes a person does not even lose the keys - he simply cannot remember where he put them. This speaks of latent fatigue from communication, the desire to be alone;

…money. Apparently, you will have some not the most pleasant, in your opinion, necessary expenses. You are not ready for the upcoming purchase (or, suppose, for going to a restaurant with a new young lady). The second option: money comes to you too easily, and you just don't know what to do with it.

…the address or phone number of a person.“Yes, I wrote it down! Here is the sclerosis ... ”- you lament. "Sclerosis" suggests that subconsciously you do not want to maintain a relationship with the "addressee".

Hold your subconscious in your hands

Why can one and the same person be either attentive and collected, or absent-minded? According to psychologists, the point is how at the moment he perceives the world.

When you control the world around you with your consciousness, everything is fine. But as soon as you daydream or get distracted, the subconscious comes to the fore. And it is accepted to save you from "problems" - at your own discretion.
What to do - forever forbid yourself to dream and be distracted? Psychologists offer their own options for dealing with the tricks of the subconscious. For example, such.

1. Befriend things. It has been noticed that with a thing that we like and in which we have invested a “piece of our soul”, we tend to handle it more carefully. So put your soul into the things that are important to you. For example, ask your loved one to give you a cute and funny keychain (cell phone pendant). Or buy an amazing, unique wallet that will become a kind of continuation of you.

2. Take responsibility. This advice is in the realm of self-discipline. Remember that the phrase “I was pissed at work (frustrated at home), I was worried and therefore lost” is not an excuse. The reason for distraction is in yourself. You can dream, get distracted, relax at home. And on the street or at work, be kind, control yourself.

3. Lost? Ask yourself what exactly the loss meant. The analysis will help you understand yourself and prevent a puncture next time.

Yesterday I lost money, today I lost my keys, tomorrow... What if you can't keep track of your things? If you are constantly losing something?

I DON'T FORGET, I'M DEFENDING!

At what point does a generally attentive and collected person become distracted? Scientists have long been interested in this question. Plus or minus a clear answer to it was given by the legendary Sigmund Freud.
According to the grandfather of modern psychoanalysis, absent-mindedness is nothing more than a form of protection of the body from ... actions planned by the brain. Let's say, on your way home from work, you think about what you need to make a broken switch. But, having crossed the threshold, the first thing you do is put the kettle on, then they call you on the phone, then your wife turns on the TV on some very interesting program, and then it’s time to sleep. Thus, the switch remains unrepaired for several more days. Think you're just "distracted and forgot"? No matter how. Such absent-mindedness is explained by the unwillingness of a tired organism to perform such work.

Unconscious "protection" is the cause of all kinds of losses. Freud assumed that things “running away” from a person are connected with a certain area of his life - be it work or relationships with loved ones - in which something seriously does not work out for the confused.

THE KEY TO BOREDOM

A lost thing is a symptom that hints at a particular problem. Psychologists have deciphered the most common losses. If you find that you've been "lost"...

... mobile phone - remember who (or what) you talked to most often before the loss. Most likely, these conversations embarrassed you or stepped on some kind of hidden “corn”. And now: no phone - no problem;

…money. Apparently, you are facing some not the most pleasant or, in your opinion, not the most necessary expenses. You are not ready for the upcoming purchase (or, let's say, for going to a restaurant with a new young lady / boyfriend). The second option: money comes to you too easily, and you just don't know what to do with it.

…the address or phone number of a person. “Yes, I wrote it down! Here is sclerosis ... ”- you lament. "Sclerosis" suggests that subconsciously you do not want to maintain a relationship with the "addressee".

KEEP THE SUBCONSCIOUS IN YOUR HANDS

Why can one and the same person be either attentive and collected, or absent-minded? According to psychologists, the point is how at the moment he perceives the world.

What to do - forever forbid yourself to dream and be distracted? Psychologists offer their own options for dealing with the tricks of the subconscious. For example, such.

2. Take responsibility. This advice is from the realm of self-discipline. Remember that the phrase “I was pissed at work (frustrated at home), I was worried and therefore lost” is not an excuse. The reason for distraction is in yourself. You can dream, get distracted, relax at home. And on the street or at work, be kind, control yourself.

3. Lost? Ask yourself what exactly the loss meant. The analysis will help you understand yourself and prevent a puncture next time.