I became the mistress of my ex-husband. "The mistress of her ex-husband" () - download the book for free without registration

Hello. I would like to share my story. 14 years ago I met a young man with whom my close friend was madly in love. His name is Kolya. But they didn’t have anything. After a while, he confessed his love to me and then everything started to spin. I was still a young girl, and he is an adult guy after the army. Flowers, romantic evenings, gifts - all this turned my head. And now I find out that I am pregnant ... Kolka offered to marry him. After the wedding, the birth of a son. He was a caring and loving father and husband. But something went wrong. When my son was 11 months old, we divorced. He left the city. I thought I'd go crazy. I was only 19 years old, and I was already a divorcee with a child in my arms. My world has collapsed. His parents are wonderful people. They love their grandson very much, they often take them in, they help financially, and they still call me daughter-in-law. A year later, I pulled myself together. Life goes on. I knew that my son needed a father. But who will need me with a child? It turned out that in our time there are good, decent guys. This is how I got it. Vanya turned out to be a very kind, good person, and he treated the child wonderfully. Again a wedding, a white dress, a happy family life. Three years later, our daughter was born. My husband loves me very much. One can only dream of such a caring person. And everything seems to be wonderful, but when she looked at her son, she saw him, her first husband, before her eyes, and understood that she could not throw him out of her heart. But we never saw him again, for 12 years already. I never gave him a son and he does not know him. But 4 months ago, the son met with his own father. This is where everything got screwed up. Nikolai started calling me, under the pretext of talking about his son. I remembered the past, how much I loved and still cannot forget me. (He has been married for 2 years to a woman 9 years older than him) 1.5 months ago we met for the first time. Something snapped inside of me. I looked at him and did not understand why this happened. We talked for a long time. Then he took my hand and squeezed it hard. Then he hugged me tightly and it seemed that these long years seemed to have never happened. My heart felt so good, butterflies flew in my stomach. My feelings cannot be put into words. We've been meeting secretly for a month now. He suggests starting over. It seems that there is a common son, but he has long dreamed of a daughter. And I don't know what to do now. I love Kolya too, so I don't have the strength, and I can't leave Vanya. He is a very good person, he loves us very much. That's how my ex-husband became my lover. Can anyone give me some advice on how to proceed...

The husband started an affair with an employee a few years younger than him. Their relationship ended very quickly, and I found out about what happened by accident a few months later. We are now trying to save the family: we have become closer and more frank with each other, we attend therapy sessions. But his ex-lover is like an eyesore. All these few months she has been writing poems about their relationship and posting it on her pages on social networks. And recently already recorded a song based on what happened. Her husband blocked her a long time ago, they do not communicate, I have no reason to worry. And in general, with my mind, I understand that the problem is not in her, but in our family crisis. But I am terribly angry at the inability to tell her directly that their affair has harmed a third person. Alive and real, and not the mythical "unloved wife." That what was a source of inspiration for my husband's former mistress - for me, his wife, became a source of pain. I can’t figure out why her creative impulses annoy me so much and how to cope with the feeling of powerlessness that they cause in me.

Antonina, 37 years old

Antonina, the fact that you are angry in this situation is completely logical and understandable. You've been hurt. But it was not the woman who writes poetry now that hurt you, but your husband, your closest person. You decided to forgive him, this is a very serious decision that was given to you with great difficulty. You experienced not only treason and betrayal, but also many painful minutes in the questions “Who is to blame?” and "What to do?".

Now that the acute phase is behind you, you want to forget this story. You work on relationships with your husband, make new plans, look for positive moments, but every time you get into the social network of that woman, you see a reminder of her husband's betrayal, and this, of course, angers and annoys. In order not to experience irritation over and over again, stop monitoring her social networks. You can’t help climbing, block it too, as my husband did.

You sublimated all your anger at your husband to his ex-lover. No one disputes that a person who knowingly has sexual intercourse with someone who is married or in a relationship is acting low. But this woman did not give you an oath of allegiance. It was not her behavior that hurt you, a specific living person, but the behavior of her husband.

If she had an affair with his married colleague and wrote verses to him, they would not hurt you at all, although her act would have been exactly the same. Perhaps you made the decision too early for yourself to return your husband to the family without having worked through all the anger and resentment against him. And now, trying to improve relations, in order not to aggravate the situation, they switched to an external enemy. Our psyche is so comfortable. It is much easier to hate strangers who have hurt us than our loved ones.

The feeling of powerlessness is quite understandable: you know that this woman does not owe you anything, you are nobody for her, she has the right to write, draw, publish on her pages on social networks whatever she sees fit, and you can’t influence it in any way.

In addition to family work with a psychologist, it will not be superfluous for you to work separately, but with another specialist, of course. After the betrayal, it is important not only to establish communication between the spouses, but also to burn away all the pain and resentment that the one who has been cheated has. From my point of view, this is much more important, because until there is a solid foundation on which to build relations anew, the success of the entire event is in doubt.

You still hurt, you still have an open wound. You get angry precisely at all those feelings that you experience: anger, rage, irritation, sadness, anxiety, indignation. Live them, do not bury them inside yourself in order to improve relations with your husband as soon as possible. Take care of yourself first of all, now it is much more important for you.

Folk wisdom says that a woman should be a caring mother in the nursery, a friendly mistress in the kitchen and a passionate lover in the bedroom. And the first, and the second, and the third can be learned. But if we still agree to comprehend the basics of cooking or home economics, then we categorically refuse to study sexual science. "Women's Passions" offer to discard all stereotypes and try to become an ideal lover for your man.

"You are not a woman! You are an exception!

Everyone who has been seduced wants to seduce himself.
Marlene Dietrich

First you need to answer the question: “What is she, an ideal lover?” What is it that attracts her? And why do many men think that a bad lover is a hundred times better than a good wife?

1. So, the perfect lover knows exactly what her partner wants . She knows how best to caress him and what to say. Of course, this knowledge does not fall on her "from the sky", she achieves them through long conversations "about it."

The mistress radiates desire, therefore, becomes the object of sexual attention for persons of the opposite sex. She has sex not "for company", but with pleasure and joy. She is an uninhibited woman and boldly tries new positions and new places.

2. She is smart, charming and bold. Enough clever , after all, it was not for nothing that history brought the parable of Napoleon to us. Once he asked his adjutant to find him a lady for the night, always smart. "Forgive me, sir, but why does a woman have a lot of intelligence in bed?" - he was perplexed. "And who will I talk to in between?" replied Bonaparte.

Magnificent mistresses were Cleopatra and Josephine, Lilya Brik and the Marquise de Pompadour. You can read their biographies at your leisure and try to imagine yourself in the place of one of these great women.

3. Mistress allows a man to feel like a real macho, and he, in turn, gives her an incomparable sensation of a seductress. Therefore, such ties, as a rule, are durable - no one wants to break such a successful union.

4. A lover differs from his wife in that she considers a man a holiday - while for his wife he has long become commonplace. With a mistress, a man rediscovers himself: he becomes the most intelligent, sexy, passionate and generous.

Here is what Lilya Brik said about this: “It is necessary to inspire a man that he is wonderful or even brilliant, but that others do not understand this. And allow him what they do not allow him at home. For example, smoking or driving wherever you like. Good shoes and silk underwear will do the rest.” It was to her that men said: "You are not a woman, you are an exception."

Do you want to be the "exception" for your man? Tired of routine in sex? Then forward to the next chapter!

From the dance of trembling knees to self-confidence

You can save yourself from a tiger, from an earthquake or a typhoon,
but not from a woman who decided to take possession of you. Jewish proverb

A lot has been written about the art of seduction, which a lover should be fluent in. In some, it is advised to dance a striptease, in others - to visit a sex shop, in others - to watch a porn movie. You can try all of these, but now we will focus on something else.

No matter how wonderful the idea, but striptease can turn into a dance of trembling knees, and watching pornography into a humiliating copying of poses (often, unbearably acrobatic). This must be avoided by all means. Your main assistant on the way to the ideal lover is self-love.

5. Need love yourself unconditionally and wholeheartedly, once and for all. Try walking up to the mirror and telling the reflection, "I love you." Does not work? Ashamed? Nothing, it will pass. After a week or two of hard training, this phrase will seem easy, and you will feel like a geisha: a mysterious, inaccessible, "thing in itself."

6. The next step - love your body . Understand that the model parameters "90-60-90" are not an end in itself in life, and an ideal figure will not bring happiness in itself. You need to love your breasts, your thighs and your hair. Think: would you love your man if he was disgusted with his torso? I'm sure not. The attitude to the body needs to be learned from men - they are happy with what they have, and do not complex with or without reason.

7. Your eyes should glow , as if you are filled (and so it is!) with some kind of internal energy and strength. Those eyes are charming. Imagine that a fire is burning inside you, and do not forget about it when you are shopping, walking, taking a shower. Remember that the ideal lover radiates desire - so you try to “radiate” something.

These three simple steps will give you confidence and looseness. After you have passed them, you can proceed directly to seduction.

Thank you for every night of love

Secrets of the perfect lover

When your husband has finished eating, don't let him go to bed before you.
You need to get settled there first in order to invite him.
He must understand that you are finally ready for him.
Leave only a small bandage on the hips, the most beautiful,
and always wear pearls at the waist - they are needed for seduction.
And then, when everything happens, you can ask him for the moon:
he will go looking for her for you!

Khadi

8. The ideal lover is not only perfectly "savvy" in matters of sex, she also knows how to create a special atmosphere. In ancient treatises, attention was paid to everything: supper, incense or aromatic oils, environment, clothing.

These details play a very important role. To create an atmosphere means to create the mood of the whole evening . Try experimenting with lighting: a red lamp instead of the usual one can turn the evening into a volcano of passion.

Hang in the bedroom and spread on the floor and large beds erotic pictures (you can from your archive), and if there are none, then buy an erotic album. You can view the "before" or "during" photos. Either way, they'll do their part and fuel your passion.

Meet your man in a negligee, but with some erotic detail : it can be a long string of beads around the neck or a rose in the hair. Before that, warn him with a call or SMS about a surprise of a sexual nature. This is especially necessary if your man is a big conservative.

9. Surprise a man unusual dinner. If earlier you ate hastily and semi-finished products, now prepare full-fledged snacks and salads. Sparkling wine is welcome, but in reasonable quantities. Experiment with tequila - salt can be licked from anywhere. The main thing is not to overdo it with alcohol.

10. If everything goes as it should, then your man will “turn on” very quickly. Your task - stretch the pleasure for a long time. During sex, interrupt, rest, change positions. You can even talk, but not about household chores, and even more so not about world news, but about sensations and feelings. Finally, tell us where you need to be stroked, touched, pinched and what you enjoy.

11. After the peak, gently hug your one and tell him "thank you" for this night of love.

12. After such an “outbreak”, even old relationships flare up with renewed vigor. However the ideal lover does not stop there - she experiments with a man . Of course, you won’t be able to do this every night (and you don’t have to, it will quickly become commonplace), but from time to time you need to pamper yourself and your loved one!

Walled up!

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