You are an adult. What kind of person can be considered a "mature person" or an adult? People will not begin to crawl into your life less

Usually when I talk to people about what an "adult" is

man”, the image is drawn in a peculiar way (not to speak rudely).

An adult, according to most of my interlocutors, is such

the right bore, who is always serious, lives according to the schedule, does not

capable of invention and creativity and completely deprived of a sense of humor.

That is, an adult is such a robot. He is extremely rational.

efficient, hard-working, but absolutely not emotional, does not know how to have fun,

can't believe.

The most interesting thing here is the complete absence of real adult features. From

of everything written, it is impossible to single out a single really adult

human manifestations.

I think this is all because the list was made up of people who are not very old, and their

description is a simple demonization of the image. Scarecrow for themselves

himself, which is needed to justify his own infantilism.

This is very convenient: “Yes, I am a dependent and a lazy person, yes. But I am very

creative, fun, easy-going and love to travel, can

laugh and make laugh, and generally very spontaneous!

Well, just gold, not a person. How can you not love him like that?

And to make love easier and more pleasant, infantiles imagined that

an adult is a proper bore.

Of course, the picture drawn by them is not very attractive. That's why

many insist, they say, you can’t lose a “child in your soul”. Or, in another way

"The Inner Child must be in a person's heart."

Finally, they prove to me that “well, it’s not possible to be

adults."

In fact, an adult is not defined by mental alertness or

sense of humor. Infantiles are very humorous, and adults are

very gloomy. The reverse is also true. Infantiles are very

gloomy, and adults - very humorous.

And I will prove it.

Let's start by looking at the original source. Who is the first to the general public

said that in a person there is an Adult part and a Child part? Correctly,

Eric Berne, creator of transactional analysis (in our opinion, research

interactions).

He insisted that there is also a Parental part.

Eric Berne said that people can interact in different

Cast: Parent, Adult and Child. Role selection is determined

dominant ego state.

Let's look at the definition:

« ego state is a collection of related behaviors

thoughts and feelings, one of the ways of expressing our personality. In every

moment in time each person is in one of these ego-

states. Normally, a person can freely move from one ego-

states to another. The names of ego states are capitalized.

If the same words are written with a small letter, then they mean

real parents, children and adults.

Now let's see how each ego state is deciphered:

Ego State Adult

thinks and feels on the principle of "here and now" and adequately responds

to what is happening around him, using the full potential of an adult

personality.

Ego state Parent- it is manifested in such a way that a person behaves,

thinks and feels, copying one of his parents. In Parent

a person thinks in accordance with moral norms,

using the concepts of "good-bad", "right-wrong".

Pavel Zygmantovich, “Kill the infantile in yourself”, _

Ego State Child- manifests itself in such a way that a person

returns to the behavior, thinking and feelings of his childhood,

afraid, angry, feels resentment, unfair attitude towards oneself

etc.

Pay attention - the ego-state of the Child (or, in other words, the Child) is not

is distinguished by special creative inclinations or indefatigable

cheerfulness. Nothing like this. Sheer vulnerability.

Where did the idea that the Child is very cool come from? But from where:

Contamination or Infectionis the human perception

There are two types of contamination - prejudices and delusions.

Prejudice is formed when a person mistakenly accepts

Parental mottos for reality. These mottos usually begin

the words "everything", "always". For example: “People cannot be trusted”, “Everyone

men want one thing,” etc. Prejudice is very common

about the characteristics of some nationalities, about male and female

character, etc. Delusions are formed when a person

clouds his adult thinking delusions - childish

perceptions of oneself and the attitude of others around oneself. it

fantasies taken for reality. For example:

"People don't like me", "I can't quit smoking (lose weight, quit

drink)”, “Everyone will be better off if I die”, etc.». Source.

(http://www.i-ta.ru/link6.htm)

I emphasize again – It is quite clear from the definition that joy

and unbridled fun is quite characteristic of the Adult, since he

« responds adequately to what is happening around him, using the entire

adult potential. In other words, if he is at a party, he

responds appropriately. That is, having fun. However, if he really

sad, he will behave adequately to this sadness, and will not be like a Parent

explain to yourself that “it’s bad not to have fun, you will spoil people

holiday".

The Adult is adequate to the situation, and the difference from the Parent and the Child. Can

even to say that Adult is the only ego state that has

a place of awareness (that is, the derivation of one's actions, feelings, motives and

other things from the area of ​​the unconscious).

Of course, one can defend the position that "it is necessary that the Child lives in the soul."

However, it is best to immediately warn that it is not the Bernese

Child, but some of their constructs.

Pavel Zygmantovich, “Kill the infantile in yourself”, _

Simply put, there is a substitution of meanings and topics of discussion. What is he doing

pointless discussion. Before us is a little cheating. Deception.

Let's take this into account, and we will not play marked cards.

By the way, if you want to laugh, think about this - if a person

there is some kind of Inner Child, with whom, as many believe

irresponsible citizens, you need to “make friends” or “make contact”, then

this man for small falls short of schizophrenia.

It can be inside schizophrenics and other regulars of psychiatric dispensaries.

get along several personalities (two, five and even ten). Normal

people don't do that.

That is, when you are once again told about the need to “contact

inside yourself and meet your Inner Child there, ”tell

hinting that you don’t want to go crazy at all (that is, absolutely).

We fix all our reasoning.

The main thing for an adult is not creativity, not a cheerful disposition, not

curiosity. These are all minor features that can be

may be missing.

An adult has three specific manifestations that are easily

notice and recognize:

1. Independence.

2. Taking into account the interests of other people.

3. Strategic thinking.

Let's deal with each manifestation in more detail.

Pavel Zygmantovich, “Kill the infantile in yourself”, _

Independence

Of course, I have already said a lot about independence before.

However, I repeat - it does not hurt.

An adult is able to provide for himself. Earn money for food

cook, buy clothes, wash, clean the apartment, go to

authority and get a certificate, park (if you learned to drive),

ask for directions, call a plumber, come up with something to do,

get to know a person, find a topic for conversation, make a decision ...

Yes, it’s as simple as that – this is what independence is all about. Adult

knows how to do it himself. It is clear that the quality is different. From good and

It is important to note that an adult does not refuse someone else's help. He can

just accept help, maybe hire someone, maybe find someone else

an option to do something with someone else's hands.

But at the same time, he can always do the same himself.

Once again, this is not about specific professional skills such as

filling a tooth or hitting the bull's-eye from a hundred meters. It's about simple

everyday life - go, find, earn, call.

An adult can do all this. He is independent.

Pavel Zygmantovich, “Kill the infantile in yourself”, _

Infantilism in modern society- the phenomenon is not new. You must have noticed that more and more more people they behave like children: they shift the blame for their actions onto circumstances and other people, they don’t know how to stand up for themselves, they constantly complain about fate, they don’t develop, and so on. If you are often told that you behave like a child, then you urgently need to rebuild yourself. This may require hellish work, but it's worth it. After all, you acquire special energy and self-confidence, and most importantly - win over people. In this article, we will discuss with you the most effective ways to grow up.

Why are so many adults still children?

If an adult behaves infantile, then he simply does not want to grow up or does not know how to do it. In the first case, it is so convenient and easier for a person to live. After all, he does not need to think anything, other people decide for him: where to go to study, who to work with, how much to earn. And why take the blame for your mistakes and mistakes? After all, the case is to blame, employee, close friend. An infantile person does not dare to make decisions and tries in every possible way to escape from responsibility.

There is a psychological theory of E. Bern, according to which a child, an adult and a parent lives in each of us.

Unfortunately, such childishness will not lead to good. Sooner or later, life will give a kick and then the choice is left to the adult “children” - either to continue to whine and complain about fate, or to take life into their own hands and embark on the path of growing up.

The world of adults: what it really is

Adult life is not the same as youth and childhood. Everything is much more serious here. After all, the responsibility for you lies not on the shoulders of your parents, relatives or friends, but on your own. If you are wondering: “How to grow up?” first you need to find out what adult life is, how a fully formed person behaves.

A serious individual is not someone who smokes, drinks alcohol and is sexually active with might and main, but someone who lives separately from his parents and does not depend on them financially, that is, a person who fully provides for himself and does everything himself.

An adult can be easily recognized by what and how he says, what actions and deeds he performs. In his life there is no frequent giggling, like a teenager, and in conversation there are no gossip and empty meaningless topics. He values ​​his time, speaks to the point, and jokes only when it is appropriate.

Domestic and Western psychologists have also defined some criteria for psychological maturity:

• responsibility for their actions and what is happening around;
• understanding of people, love and respect for them;
• making rational informed decisions;
• the ability to properly communicate with the outside world;
• ability to be realized in terms of profession;
• the ability to withstand stress and various difficulties encountered on the path of life.

In addition to this, adults have a rich life experience, their world is not chaotic, but more structured. They know where to go, what to do, what goals to set.

Effective Ways to Grow Up

Growing up is hard work. After all, here you need to completely transform your personality, lifestyle and relationships with the outside world. Having done this, you will not recognize yourself - instead of a child in front of a mirror, you will see an adult.

One of the quotes from the popular Indian mystic Osho says that by taking life into his own hands, a person will be filled with energy and feel unprecedented changes.

There are many ways to grow up. But we will consider the five most effective of them.

1. Train yourself to set big goals.

If you want to enter adulthood, you just need to learn how to set goals for yourself. They must be big. It could be learning new profession, improving their skills and talents, creating happy family, achievement material well-being and so on.

2. Be responsible for yourself and your actions

Adult life is not toys. Here, no one will solve your problems for you. Only a child can hide from them and do nothing. You must understand that you must be responsible for yourself, your actions and for what happens to him. Only by becoming responsible can you live a happy and successful life.

3. Be self-reliant

It is very important to be independent. A developed personality can always take care of himself and others. Therefore, starting from the age of 18, you need to rely only on yourself, and not on other people. It is important to make sure that you provide for yourself and do everything on your own, from choosing a university to making plans for the future.

4. Study your "I"

In adult life it is extremely important to accept yourself as you are and look inside yourself in order to carefully examine your "I". After all, only a child does not accept himself and does not understand what he really is. The study of one's personality is a sober look at oneself, where all the weak and strengths. Seeing his weaknesses, an adult person must destroy them or turn them into pluses.

Also, expanding your horizons (travelling, a new favorite activity, attending exhibitions and various events), communicating and meeting new people will help to carefully study yourself.

5. Behave like an adult

And another way to grow up is to act like an adult. Like this? First, you need to learn how to control your desires and those that are considered childish should be curbed and directed to more mature goals.

It is also very important to say “No”. For example, if you were invited to a noisy party, and you plan to complete an urgent project that evening, then choose the second option. After all, it is he who will lead you to success, and not a party until the morning. And adults also take care of their appearance. They eat only wholesome food, go in for sports, take care of clean skin and hair, wear neat clothes of a more restrained style to work. In addition, you must always be open and honest, and only then will the doors to a successful future open before you.

Growing up may not come out right away, everything will happen with experience. Therefore, be patient and after a while you will achieve what you desire.

The child knows little, little can. It `s naturally. The child is fed, dressed and taught by the parents. The child depends on adults.

The child is not independent enough, having matured, he becomes independent.

The child learns to live, but while he does not know how, he makes many mistakes. He is allowed to. The parents are responsible for the child and his mistakes.

The child is not responsible for himself and his actions, unlike an adult.

The child knows little and knows how. And that's why I'm not confident in myself, in my abilities.

The child is not confident enough.

Children are born small, helpless. Thanks to difficulties, they develop both physically and psychologically. But no one will blame the child for his weakness.

Children are allowed to be weak.

Adults are touched by children's fears. Still would! A whole world of the unknown, mysterious. A lot of things are frightening. Fighting fear, children become bolder.

Children tend to be afraid.

Children learn, try, experiment, make mistakes.

Acquire knowledge and experience. Wisdom.

And the children play, frolic, make noise. Weird. Read fairy tales, believe in miracles. But adults also play and make noise. And adult games are more grandiose than children's. But we're not talking about that. And about the fundamental difference between adults and children.

So, an adult is a mature person, a child is immature.

Adult, as defined in the encyclopedia:

a person who has reached a certain age, and in relation to whom there is reason to believe that he has bodily and mental maturity. An adult individual has the necessary knowledge and skills that allow him to make decisions that are important on his life path.

An adult person has such qualities as:

• Independence
• Responsibility
• Self-confident
• Strength, both physical and psychological
• Courage
• Wisdom
• There are other qualities, but for our discussion, these will suffice.

And if some quality is lacking in an adult? Then it's still not old enough human. He still depends on his parents or on other people who replace his parents.

He needs to grow up!

Why?

What are the benefits of being an adult?

It's good to be children! Live and Enjoy Life!

But this joy is for the time being. As long as there are defenders, or other guardians.

How about living on your own?

The first thing an immature person encounters is lack of self-esteem .

Hence the dissatisfaction with life and depression.

Adults easily set bold goals and achieve them.

But it is difficult to achieve such goals for people who have not matured. Who fears interfere with, who lacks willpower. Who simply does not know how to overcome problems and difficulties.

Insufficiently mature people often make claims to other people. To take care of them.

I'm surprised at grown men who they don't know how to cook.

Claims develop into conflicts.

For example, most marital conflicts begin because the spouses have not matured and are trying to assign responsibilities to each other. More on this later.

Adults don't actually know what laziness is. And how many people ask questions about how to not be lazy? Answer: "Become an adult!"

What is the focus? More on that later, for sure.

Adults are truly happy only because their happiness depends on themselves.

The happiness of children directly depends on the parents or guardians.

Adults are loved and respected. They make their own life. They set the rules for their own lives.

In my opinion, enough benefit to put in the effort and make yourself an adult.

Not mature enough

Most of them are. Who is not brave enough. Who is not wise. Or irresponsible.

And they live

Most people are not brave enough. For example, women. They are afraid of something. But ... because they have brave husbands. These husbands earn money, solve problems, including the problems of their wives. Why courage? There is a reliable support, in which case. But I will not call such a person old enough. Because he himself will not live in this life the way he wants to.

Courage can be developed at any age. It is useful to develop both men and women.

Responsibility seems to be not such an important quality. And not all adults try to develop it. But without this quality, for example, it is impossible to become a leader.

And who will follow the irresponsible? Who will cooperate with this?

Strength and energy are also important qualities. Health depends on them, and the achievement of big goals.

Most often, as a psychologist, people turn to me about the development of self-confidence. But they want to get it fast way. Learn something, understand: and that's it!

And they are surprised when I start to explain to them about independence, responsibility and other difficulties.

Knowing is not enough - you also need to do, and quite a lot to do.

And they often ask about how to deal with fears. And they are surprised that I recommend them to develop courage.

Yes, we will talk a lot about useful strategies. But key point there will be practice. For a long time. Until the result is obtained: happyadult .

I am well versed in psychology, both traditional and non-traditional, NLP, Ericksonian hypnosis. I have certificates, certificates and respect ... I know all sorts of "chips" and " effective methods". As a coach, I can use all this in practice.

As a coach, I have always been interested only in what will work for my clients for a long time and reliably. To ensure that the training is fast and of high quality. No harmful effects.

All these methods: fast, high-quality, reliable, proven are here. Read.

There are other methods as well. I will not dispute them, but let other specialists deal with them.

We are people, often lazy, hurried and in a hurry. We should be faster. Here we are chasing all sorts of "chips", clever phrases. To inspire us - and that's it! So that we understand - and immediately become different. And go about your business again. Round. Sign up for gym or dancing for half a year - that's a long time. Jogging, playing sports is stressful.

Is it possible to jump once with a parachute and become bold?

A young man comes and asks:
I heard you are an NLP master. Give me something to make me feel confident.
After a little talk with the guy, I realized that he needed a focus, and nothing else. It's simple. Moreover, I needed practice. I enter into a trance, I tell something about confidence, I fix it, I check it. Although, in this case, one simple phrase would do:
- Did you confidence yourself!
The latency period passes. The guy is happy, his eyes are shining.
Now, when he got what he wanted, I start work with this question:
- What would you choose: to be taught to drive a car under hypnosis, or in the usual way, with an instructor and driving practice?
– What happens?
- Elementary, I would go on any flat road.
- And in the city I would have crashed into someone!
- Yes, I would! Now you have become more confident in yourself in the same way. Until the first obstacle.

We talked. And, agreeing with me, the guy promised to buy a subscription to the gym and sign up for aikido. This is what he lacked. A couple of years later he came to me to study oratory. It was already a completely different guy, physically stronger, with a wonderful smile and a confident look.

Sincerely, Oleg Bolsunov, trainer of rhetoric.

Being an adult is difficult, but all efforts always pay off. It is impossible to live irresponsibly all your life, and from a certain age there is a need to think about yourself, take responsibility for your life, strive for the best for yourself and your family. All people under the phrase "adult" mean different things, but in fact, in order to become an adult, a person must develop the qualities of a responsible person both in professional and personal life.

Steps

How to develop the qualities of an adult

Try to be a rational person. In youth, it is permissible to act recklessly or selfishly, but in adulthood, a person should think more about his actions and act rationally.

• To think rationally, one must learn to separate thoughts from feelings.
• A rational person controls his emotions and in his actions relies on thoughts, not feelings.
• When a rational person makes decisions, he takes into account the interests of others and moral aspects.
• To become a more rational person, try to give yourself a break when you can't handle your emotions. Make a decision later, when you calm down and can think soberly.
• Whenever you limit your impulses to thoughts or moral or ethical considerations, you are acting rationally. Gradually, it will become easier for you to make rational decisions.

1. Strive for meaningful, harmonious relationships. To become an adult, you should focus on building relationships with others. All your connections (friendly, family, romantic) should be meaningful, harmonious and useful for all participants. This will require some effort, but only in this way will you feel calm, like the people around you.

   • Strive for such interactions where all participants behave as independent individuals.
   • Be prepared to make compromises that will suit everyone.
   • In any mature relationship, you need to both take something and give something. It is important that the needs of all people are met.
   • In harmonious relationships, people give and receive love unconditionally. Your love should not depend on certain conditions or expectations.

2. Put your needs above your desires. Many people find it difficult to give up the things they want and do what they have to do. You can spend money on entertainment if you have a spare, but first you need to think about basic needs.

   Manage your life yourself. One of the key tasks of an adult is to manage his life on his own. In childhood and adolescence, parents and other relatives can help you, but in adulthood you need to learn to think about everything yourself.

   • If you are unhappy with some aspect of your life (or are told by others that there is a problem), be prepared to do something about it.
   • An adult is able to take responsibility for his life and change what does not allow him to enjoy life.
   • Ask for help when you need it, but remember that you must be able to provide for yourself and live on your own.
   • Remember that only you can change your life. Circumstances may limit your ability to make a difference, but you need to know that you have the strength to adapt and grow no matter what happens.
   • Start setting goals for yourself and go for them. Be an independent person, take responsibility for your actions and inaction.

   How to develop the qualities of an adult

   1. Be independent. Independence is a consequence of the ability to manage one's life. You must be able to provide for yourself and take care of yourself in all areas. This includes taking care of yourself, keeping your house in order, being punctual at work, being productive, and being good with money.

      • Independence can be different forms in different ages. The most important thing is to be independent according to your age.
      • Independence may be associated with age-appropriate responsibilities. As you get older, your responsibilities may change and you will need to do what is expected of you.
      • A teenager has a different level of independence than a person in their twenties or thirties, and certainly different from the independence of a person who is 50 or 60 years old.
      • Analyze the behavior of your peers, pay attention to what they do to be independent, and learn from them.
      • If you're having trouble achieving independence, work with a psychology coach or career counselor. Look for experts on the Internet.

   2. Think of goals and go for them. Adults need goals. Goals give meaning to life and make you move forward. When a person achieves a goal, he has a reason to be proud of himself. Setting goals and working towards them requires prioritization, both personally and professional life. If you need to set a goal, use the S.M.A.R.T. The effectiveness of this technique has been scientifically proven. In accordance with the S.M.A.R.T. methodology, the goal should be:

      • S - Specific, that is, specific. Narrow your goal. It is better to set yourself not global goals with a streamlined formulation, but specific goals with a clear result.
      • M - Measurable, that is, measurable. Decide how you will measure success, both now and in the future. You must understand what will allow you to determine that the goal has been achieved, as well as monitor progress.
      • A - Attainable, that is, achievable. The goal should not be impossible. It is worth striving for big, but it is more important to work within your capabilities and think over a strategy for the future.
      • R - Realistic, meaning meaningful. Think about whether you are ready and willing to reach your goal. Of course, you need to push yourself forward all the time, but the goal should not be ephemeral.
      • T - Time-bound, that is, limited in time. Set a deadline for reaching your goal. You must have enough time to prepare. At the same time, it is not necessary to stretch the deadlines for an indefinite time.

   3. Strive for the integrity of your personality and for honesty. An adult should be able to tell the truth and have moral principles. This approach can be interpreted in different ways depending on the situation, but in general, you should be proud of your decisions and what you are doing with your life.

   4. Take responsibility for your life. Anything that helps you become an adult contributes to the management of your life. Taking responsibility means not shifting responsibility to others if something goes wrong, and not throwing off responsibilities. A responsible adult is ready to take responsibility for all his decisions.

      • Responsibility includes many factors that depend on age and life situation.
      • A responsible attitude to life remains with a person forever. It implies a reaction to situations and circumstances, as well as a willingness to deal with any outcome.
      • Responsible attitude to life means thinking through all the little things, making decisions and being ready to take responsibility for the result of decisions, both positive and negative.
      • If you plan ahead and take into account possible problems, it will be easier for you to manage the situation in the future.
      • Remember that being responsible for your life also means being able to enjoy your successes. Do not brag or be arrogant, but at the same time be able to recognize your achievements.

   How to be a responsible employee

   1. Know how to manage your time. If you want to be successful at work, learn how to manage your time. This means that you may have to put off things that you would like to do in order to finish the job. You may also need to turn in projects on time, which means you'll need to keep track of time and deadlines.

      • Be punctual. Always show up to work on time (or even a little early) and stay until you've finished everything.
      • Try to get as much done as possible each day. If a deadline for an important project is approaching, take the time to get everything done on time.
      • Keep track of deadlines with a calendar or planner.
      • Try to plan your day either the day before or in the morning. This way you can start the day knowing what you have to do.
      • If you feel like you're putting things off until later, remind yourself that things won't do themselves. If you put something off until later, it will be more difficult for you to finish this business.
      • Do one thing at a time. Keep a to-do list in mind, but focus on just one task to be as productive as possible.
   2. It is important to have ambition not only in your professional life, but also in your personal life. Try to be best version yourself, both at work and in your personal life.
   3. Don't come to work just wanting to do a bunch of things. Strive to do more to show management that you are ready for more responsibility.
   4. Ambition and a mature approach to work may allow you to achieve a raise and salary growth.

3. Be attentive to the little things. Attention to detail will allow you to get more done in less time. If you work carelessly, you and your colleagues will have to redo a lot. Take your time and don't try to finish the job as soon as possible - do it well.

   • It's important to take pride in your work. Don't go home until you've done everything you need to.
   • Not a single detail should escape your attention. If a colleague missed something in his work, help him finish the work or show him what needs to be done.
   • Try to treat the little things like cleaning a cafe. First you need to wipe the tables, and then sweep the floor. You can wash the floor only at the very end.
   • Before moving on to the next task or leaving home, complete the current one.

4. Demonstrate leadership qualities. If you are a responsible employee, your management will notice your efforts. Over time, when the opportunity arises, you may be promoted. If you take responsibility for your results, go beyond what is expected of you, and work with colleagues for the greater good, your management will understand that you can be a leader.

   • To be a leader, you need to be able to complete your work on time and take responsibility for your actions.
   • Remember that the leader is responsible not only for his own actions, but also for the actions of his subordinates.
   • A leader must be self-confident and think of others. If you can delegate responsibilities, but at the same time show a sincere interest in the problems of colleagues, you can make a good leader.

An adult person is one who provides for himself plus supports not only himself, but also his family, brings up children and supports parents. The one who, in fact, has an adult circle of care, who, in fact, does it.

Axis of adulthood, boundaries of adulthood

An adult is the level of a person's personal development along the Personal Life axis. The other two axes are Business and Business and Growth and Development. What is the position of an adult on these other axes is a special question. Not every adult is successful businessman and leader, not every adult is a self-actualizing person.

On the axis "Personal life" below the adult - a young man (only himself, but contains), a man-child (a person with infantile features, unable to support and serve himself). Even lower - infantile, already a disease.

If a person is not only an adult, but also successful in business terms, they say about him - an accomplished person.

If a person in terms of responsibility goes beyond his family, is responsible for a big company, for a big business, for a city or country, he is called a big man. A person who has made a positive contribution to the history of mankind is a great person.

The inner world of adulthood

A completely, truly adult person is one who not only does the things of an adult, but wants to do it and knows how to do it.

Wants - does not want. An adult can be in need (out of duty) - this is outwardly an adult, but in the soul there can be a Man-child. The duty of an adult can be thrown off - thrown off, turned into a child having fun, and even into a Dunce. Internally, an adult person chooses to be an adult, wants to be an adult, it is natural for him to be an adult - according to his soul, according to his inclination, according to his value orientation. Such an adult, internally mature person stops frantically looking for someone to rely on or someone to throw off responsibility - he voluntarily takes responsibility and is himself a support for himself and others.

Can - can't. The qualitative fulfillment of the duties of an adult implies maturity: intellectual and social, mental and spiritual. It involves a lot of knowledge, skills, habits, and assumes a certain worldly experience and a certain level of personality development. The criterion for the quality of adulthood and the meaning of adulthood (why all this) is how warm and strong the family is, parents are protected, brought up and prepared for life and children are happy.

Inner freedom. An adult does not necessarily look like a boring robot. The ability to timely use the necessary personal roles, including the roles of the Parent and the Child, is a completely adult trait. Playfulness, spontaneity, gaiety are childish qualities, but they may not interfere with adult decisions at all. The opposite of inner freedom is a pattern when an adult has restrictions at the behavioral level. Such an adult cannot afford to act unexpectedly or non-standardly - throw out his knee, jump unexpectedly, etc. - because this is the behavior of a child and, as it were, does not correspond to the image of an adult.

Personality Traits Contributing to Adulthood

The main features that contribute to adulthood, making a person's adulthood more complete and of high quality:

A responsibility. In particular, these are:

Responsible behaviour. An adult takes responsibility when he has something to answer with, and does not take responsibility when there is nothing to answer with.

Independence and a great deal of concern for others. Here the man is the protector and support of the woman, the head of the family and the father of the children. A woman is the keeper of the hearth, the support of her husband, the mistress of the house and the mother of children.

Demanding where an adult must be demanding. Kids, get ready for school!

Developed ability to control one's feelings and desires, including the ability to refuse inappropriate and untimely desires. In an adult, the expedient prevails over the impulse.

Psychological literacy. In particular, these are:

Constructive attitude to difficulties,

The ability to competently respond to different life situations (disappointments, defeats and victories),

Volumetric vision of the situation (see Positions of perception),

Ability to be a leader and educator where it is in demand.

mental health. In particular, these are:

The ability to find the good in life and a sense of reality.

The ability to gratefully accept criticism.

Freedom from fears and emotional invulnerability,

True adulthood is possible only on the basis of mental health. There is no mental health - it is difficult to expect responsible behavior from a person, the observance of psychological literacy. If an Adult is mentally healthy, does it with joy - this is an active person. If an Adult has neurotic features, he performs the duties of an adult, but suffers from this, this is a Martyr.

Adult and other personality types

Types of adults

Adults differ in personality type. An adult can be with any accentuations: hysteroid, schizoid, paranoid, and so on, but the more pronounced the accentuations, the less it is an adult.

External manifestations of an adult

An adult can be distinguished from a child not only by actions and words, but also by the manner of holding and speaking - by the image.