How to understand that people are lying? Practical advice of a psychologist. Foreign press about Russia and not only

In the era of online dating and social networks, constantly exchanging messages, people are increasingly asking the question: "How to understand that I am being deceived when communicating on the Internet, in SMS or email?" - writes The Wall Street Journal journalist Elizabeth Bernstein.

Many people feel in their gut that something is wrong in the message, but it can be very difficult to understand where is the truth and where is fiction. Experts say that most of interpersonal communication is built with the participation of body language - gestures, facial expressions - as well as intonations. If we remove these subtle factors, as happens with digital correspondence, we will have far fewer clues to understand what's what.

However, many relationships begin to be established through emails, and quite often they remain the main method of communication, so the ability to determine whether you are lying or not is very important.

The interlocutor can be caught in a lie, because people are often bad deceivers, says Tyler Cohen Woods, head of the cybernetic division of the Science and Technology Directorate of the U.S. Department of Defense Intelligence Agency, author of the book "Catching the Catfishers: Disarm the Online Pretenders, Predators and Perpetrators Who Are Out to Ruin Your Life." "Most people prefer to tell the truth," she explains. “So when they lie, the truth still comes out.”

You will definitely have hints. In order to recognize them, Cohen Woods offers a modified version of the method used by law enforcement officers: it is the analysis of testimony, which consists in identifying deception by examining the words of a person.

First of all, you should pay attention to how your interlocutor uses amplifying structures. "He does not necessarily lie - rather, he wants you to believe in his words. The same applies to those cases when the same thing is repeated in different ways."

"They wouldn't repeat it if it wasn't important to them," the expert emphasizes.

"In addition, it is necessary to pay attention to the expressions in which the author of the message distances himself from the addressee. In personal communication, we unconsciously distance ourselves by crossing our arms in front of us. In writing, the same effect can be achieved by avoiding personal pronouns and references to ourselves," the article says. .

For example, you send SMS with the following content: "Hi! I had a great time yesterday, and you?" And in response comes the message: "Yesterday was fun."

Pay attention to unanswered questions: you ask about something, and the interlocutor bustles or changes the subject.

"Red flags" are also evasive expressions - "probably", "should be", "maybe". "These words leave a path for retreat," explains Cohen Woods. There are also clarifying clauses: "to be honest," "just don't worry," "it's inconvenient to talk about it." Often they are a sign that the following words confuse the author of the message.

Tyler Cohen Woods advises anyone who makes online acquaintances to take a few simple precautions. First, if something in the correspondence seemed strange, ask the interlocutor how he would react to a conversation on the phone or via Skype. You can also ask to send a photo with the date and time stamped. Second, feel free to ask questions and notice evasive answers, reservations, and inconsistencies.

One "red flag" may be the result of a simple misunderstanding or a sincere delusion, but several at once indicate a serious problem, the expert is convinced.

Perhaps, knowledge that will decipher and tell us how to understand that a person is lying is useful to everyone today. It's easy if learn a few secrets and be able to use them.

Psychology will put everything in its place, and gestures, facial expressions, phrases and looks will help you find out that a person is lying.

Nobody is immune from lies. Some people lie in small things, trying to reveal only half-truths, for some, lying is a hobby, and for some, it’s a habit. But there is a category of people for whom lying has become a profession and each of us can be in the place of the victim of such a liar.

How can you protect yourself from lies and determine that a person is lying? Help to figure it out advice from psychologists capable of analyzing human behavior and revealing the main signs of a lie.

1. Minimum gestures. People who talk from the bottom of their hearts are always emotional. They gesticulate, trying to draw attention to their problem. The gestures of the liar are minimal, he keeps them under control and uses them only unconsciously. It is the subconscious signals that help us to know that a person is lying.
2. When a person lies, he trying to cover his face with his hands: often touches the forehead, lips or nose.
3. You can recognize a liar by his look - he tries not to make eye contact, his pupils are constricted. A liar blinks very rarely and rarely fixes his eyes on one point.
4. The person who tells lies keeps a closed posture: crosses his arms over his chest or hugs himself a little.
5. If a person is not used to lying, he maybe a little nervous, fiddling with a pen, sheet of paper or any other object. But this also happens with people who are insecure.
6. Interlocutor who lies can take a short break in the conversation: cough or drink water.

In fact, it is sometimes very difficult or almost impossible to determine that a person is lying. Some people are so believe in their lies that they are very difficult to convict with the help of gestures and facial expressions. Such individuals lie all the time, a lie for them is a certain way of life or even a disease. But even here there are a couple of secrets to recognize whether a person is telling the truth or not.

If a person keeps repeating phrases like“I never lie” or “Have I ever lied to you?” means he wants to hide the truth.

If your interlocutor does not have a phenomenal memory, then after a while he will forget the details about which he lied. He will repeat a well-thought-out lie to the smallest detail, but specific questions will certainly unbalance him. Ask to describe the situation in more detail or specify the circumstances under which it occurred. Usually liars begin to get confused in the details or come up with ridiculous situations.

Sometimes, during such checks, a person can behave aggressively or vice versa, wants to arouse pity in the interlocutor or win him over. In such conversations a liar often tries to change the subject or answer a question with a question. Try to play by the rules of the interlocutor and take the conversation in a different direction. You will notice that the person has relaxed, calmed down and does not intend to return to the exciting topic anymore.

Where does a person look when he lies?

We promised to tell you how to understand that a person is lying in his eyes and where he is looking in this case. Of many people gives a look, they may even look you in the eye, but they continue to lie.

When a person speaks the truth, his gaze is directed inward, as if into himself. He speaks in a measured tone, his lips pursed. Liar, on the other hand, looks up and into the distance as if contemplating a non-existent object. He speaks too fast or, on the contrary, too slowly. It can also betray the deceiver gaze to the right.

Thinking up a situation, a person can slightly turn his head to the right and look up. At the same time, he, as it were, imperceptibly tries to look at the interlocutor, studying his reaction.

How to understand that a person is lying to you by correspondence?

It happens that we cannot establish visual contact with the interlocutor. And here there are a couple of tricks. When a person is far away, he relaxes and can use words that will certainly give him away.

There is one revealing story of how a girl exposed her boyfriend in a lie after reading his message. The guy wrote to his girlfriend something like this message: "I'm at home, and I'll be there until the evening." After reading it, the girl realized that she was being deceived. After all, if her beloved was really at home, he would write "here" and not "there." So, people are betrayed by carelessly spoken phrases. It is important to learn to read between the lines and catch such inconsistencies.

Deception and lies have become a part Everyday life. Lies can be harmless or they can be dangerous. This article will help you learn how to recognize liars by a variety of signs.

To each modern man you have to be able to recognize lies. To do this, you need to learn several tricks and remember the main manifestations of lies in facial expressions and gestures.

How to recognize a lie of a woman and a man during a conversation by facial expressions, gestures, eyes: the theory of lies

First of all, a lie is manifested in a person's facial expressions.

In order to recognize a liar, carefully look at your interlocutor. If you see the following signs in his facial expressions, then he is most likely a liar.

• Asymmetry. This sign can manifest itself in different ways. First, one side of the interlocutor's face can express any emotion more strongly. That is, on the face on the right or left, the muscles will be more tense.
• Time . If during a conversation the facial expression of the interlocutor changes after 5 seconds, then this is a pretense. Scientists have found that usually a change in facial expressions occurs on average after 10 seconds. However, if your interlocutor is experiencing rage, delight or depression, then his facial expression changes really quickly.
• Mismatch between emotion and words. If your interlocutor verbally expressed any emotion, but his face is still calm, then he most likely deceived you. It's the same with a belated expression of emotion. For example, if a person says how sad he is, but the sadness on his face appears late, then he wants to mislead you. Sincerity is manifested in the synchronism of words and emotions.
• Smile . A smile can also often appear on the face of the interlocutor when he is deceiving you. There are two reasons for this. A person is used to using a smile to relieve tension. This is a kind of instinct that appears in childhood and persists until adulthood. And since when a person cheats, he experiences stress, smiling helps him relieve tension. Another reason why liars often smile at others. Joy helps to hide their real emotions.

However, when trying to identify a liar by a smile, be careful. Scientists have found that during a conversation, liars and ordinary people smile with the same frequency. Only their smiles are different. The smile of a liar can be called "stretched." She looks tense, and her lips are slightly stretched, slightly exposing her teeth.

Also, lies can be easily seen in the eyes of the speaker.

If the interlocutor is honest with you, he most time will look you in the eye. However, a liar will prefer to avoid eye contact at all costs. But be careful, an experienced liar, on the contrary, will try to look at you as often as possible when talking. If an honest person can look away a couple of times when he remembers or imagines something, then an experienced liar in these cases will still look into his eyes.

Simply put, in a normal conversation, eyes meet about 2/3 of the time in the entire conversation, while when talking with an inexperienced liar, the eyes will meet a maximum of 1/3 of the time in the entire conversation. When the conversation returns to what the liar is trying to hide, his gaze will immediately rush to the side. Thus, the liar will try to focus on coming up with the most plausible answer.

Pay attention to the pupils of the interlocutor. If they expanded, then he's lying. Likewise, the eyes of a liar shine. All this comes from the stress they experience.
Interestingly, male liars usually look down, while female liars, on the contrary, look up.

Watching gestures is a great way to recognize a liar. Here are some gestures and their features are signs of lies:

• stiffness. The interlocutor's gestures are awkward, mean. He moves and gesticulates little. This does not apply to humble people who always tend to behave like this.
• scratching. The liar will often be nervous and because of this, he will often involuntarily touch his nose, throat, the area around his mouth, and also scratch behind his ear.

• Nervousness. The liar often bites his lips, tries to distract himself from the conversation and smokes. Also, his gestures will be very nervous, gestures will be sharp.

• Arms. If a person constantly brings his hands to his face, as if trying to close himself from you, this is sure sign that you are lying.

• Mouth covered by hand. The liar involuntarily tries to cover his mouth with his hand, sometimes pressing thumb to the cheek. Sometimes it is accompanied by coughing. The person seems to be trying to shut his mouth in time so as not to let it slip. A cough is designed to distract you from the topic of conversation. After all, if you are polite, you can ask if the interlocutor is healthy. And thus distract from the real topic of the conversation.

• Touch on the nose. This gesture may be a continuation of the previous one. The thing is that the liar, catching himself that his hand reaches for his mouth, tries to correct himself and pretends that his nose just itchs.

• ear cover. Some liars try to subconsciously isolate themselves from their own lies. At such moments, the hand is located next to the ear or even closes it.

• Through your teeth. Sometimes, in order not to let it slip, a liar subconsciously clenched his teeth when talking. But it can also be a common signal of discontent. Before you decide that this is a gesture of lying, think about the situation in which the interlocutor is.

• Touching the eyes. For men and women, this gesture is somewhat different. The woman seems to be trying to correct her make-up by swiping her finger under her eye. And men just rub their eyelids. This is another way to avoid eye contact. But this gesture also has two meanings. The first, as already known, is a lie. And the second is fatigue from the conversation and the desire to show the interlocutor how tired of looking at him.

• Neck scratching. This gesture most often looks like this: a person begins to run his hand along the side of the neck or scratch his earlobe. Most often, this gesture is repeated repeatedly and the number of repetitions reaches 5 times. This gesture demonstrates the liar's doubts. For example, you told something to a person, and he answered: “Yes, yes, I understand” or “I agree”, and at the same time scratched his ear or neck. This shows that in fact he doubts your words or simply did not understand you.

• « Something stuffy became ". When a person lies, he gets worried and sweats a lot. Because of this, he sometimes gets hot, and he begins to pull back the collar of his shirt or sweater, as people do in extreme heat. With this gesture, he tries to distract himself from the conversation that is exciting him. But be careful, if your interlocutor is angry or upset, with this gesture he may try to recover, cool down. How to understand in what state your interlocutor is, is he just holding back emotions or lying? Most the right way is to ask him again. At the same time, the liar will most likely stumble and be silent for a while, trying to understand whether you saw through his lie or not. And an excited or angry person will immediately repeat what was said, while his voice will tremble or facial expressions will show his feelings.

• baby gesture. Often liars subconsciously put their fingers in their mouths. So they try to get rid of guilt and go back to a time when everyone took care of them and took care of them. This is how a liar seeks your help and forgiveness. He seems to be trying to say: “Yes, I’m lying, but I’m so harmless and I’m ashamed, so don’t be angry, please.”

How a person behaves when he lies: psychology

Watching the interlocutor, pay attention to the left half of his body. The reason is that it is the left side of the body that is responsible for emotions. So if you want to understand whether a person is telling the truth, look at his left arm, half of his face or leg. Our brain controls the right side of the body the most. And the left is often beyond our control. The fact is that even if a lie is invented in advance, a person thinks most of all about his words, and not about emotions and gestures. Therefore, the left side, which is most associated with emotions, can betray his true feelings and intentions.

For example, if a liar is nervous, his left leg or arm will involuntarily wiggle back and forth. The left hand will make strange circular gestures, and the left foot may begin to draw incomprehensible signs on the pavement or floor.

The researchers found that each hemisphere of the body controls its own half of the body. The right hemisphere is responsible for emotions, feelings and imagination. And the left is for intellect and speech. Nature arranged it so that each hemisphere controls the "opposite" part of the body. That is, the left hemisphere controls the right part of the body, and the left, on the contrary, controls the right.

That's why it turns out that more conscious management the right side of the body lends itself. This is the reason for one of the main signs of a liar - asymmetry, when the right side of the body tries to remain calm or express the "right" emotion, and the left side of the body contradicts this.

How to recognize lies in correspondence, text messages, on the phone?

During correspondence, it is especially easy to hide the truth, because we cannot hear the voice of the interlocutor or see his face. Most often, people lie about their plans. Situations are especially frequent when someone promises that he will be “in 5 minutes”, and at the same time he is late for half an hour. Except similar situations, according to research, only 11 percent of messages contain deceit and only 5 people out of all 164 subjects turned out to be real liars, and half of their correspondence was deceit. So meet a hardened liar on social. networks is not easy. Here are a few signs that will help identify such a person, or simply figure out that your interlocutor is not saying something.

• Use of the words "that woman" or "that man". Speaking about someone in this way, the interlocutor is trying to hide the fact of closeness or deliberately reduce the significance of this person in his life.

• If the interlocutor told you about many unusual events in his life, and you doubt their veracity, do the following. After a while, ask the person to recount the same incidents, but in reverse order. For example, your pen friend told you long history about how he went to visit his millionaire uncle. After a couple of days, ask him: “Sorry, do you remember talking about your uncle? So how did it end there? Big party? And what happened before that? I forgot something…” This is a joke example. But the way works. After all, a liar, through some time will forget in some sequence he lied and will definitely confuse something.

• Too many little things. If a person talks about some long-standing event in numerous details, then most likely he wants to deceive you. Agree, we sometimes do not remember in detail what we did yesterday. And if a person remembers almost every minute of some last year's event, then something is clearly wrong here. More often than not, a liar will use an overly detailed account of something to give you the illusion that the story is believable.
• half truth. Sometimes people talk about their lives only partially. If this is a man, he can only talk about the positive aspects of his life in order to impress you.

• Answers and slurred speech. In this case, the liar does not give a direct answer or begins to answer using vague or abstract terms. The words “maybe”, “somehow”, “we'll see”, “time will tell” are also used for excuses. This situation often occurs when one of the interlocutors in the social. network gives advice to another. And this person does not want to follow the advice, but in order not to offend the interlocutor, he makes a vague promise, in which there are the words given above.

10 liar mistakes

Even an experienced liar can make a mistake and show the discrepancy between his words and thoughts. Usually we do not pay attention to such small oddities in behavior. But they are the signals of untruth. Here are the 10 most common mistakes liars make.

• Emotion on the face disappears and appears suddenly and abruptly. A person, as if, “turns on” a certain expression on his face, and then just as suddenly “turns off” it. You can train a certain facial expression, even learn to pretend to be sad or happy realistically enough. But what liars most often forget about is the amount of time that emotion should normally be on the face. With the rarest exception, an emotion, if it has already appeared, suddenly, in a couple of seconds, cannot disappear. Also, even if a liar knows about it, it is unlikely that at the right moment he will be able to choose words, make the right facial expression, and hold this expression for the right amount of time at the same time. Most likely, the liar will pay more attention to the first two aspects, and he simply will not have the strength for the last.
• Contradiction of words and facial expressions. The man said: “I like it,” but when he said these words, his face was indifferent? So the lie is obvious. Even if a person smiles later, this will not add to his words of sincerity. Only if emotions and words are simultaneous are they true.

• Contradiction of gestures and words. The same rule applies when one thing is said and body language says another. For example, if someone says, “Yes, I’m very happy,” while his arms are crossed over his chest, and his back is hunched, then he is definitely lying. When showing joy, only the mouth smiles. Usually a sincere smile consists not only of stretched lips, but also of the expression of the eyes. If a person smiles only with his mouth, but at the same time his eyes are not narrowed, then this smile is simply insincere.

• Attempts to fence off. During a conversation, a person involuntarily tries to place objects between you. It can be a book, a cup or hands placed on the table. In this way, the liar creates additional distance between you. Therefore, he becomes calmer, because. he subconsciously thinks that the further you are from him, the less you understand him.

• Speech rate. Some liars are afraid of being taken out clean water. For this reason, even if they start the story slowly, they then speed up the pace of their speech in order to quickly finish the story and get out of the stressful situation.
  Also, liars are characterized by pauses in speech. During such small and frequent pauses, they look at you, trying to understand whether they believe them or not.

• Repetition words. If a person is suddenly asked about what he wants to hide, then he will most likely repeat your question first, and then begin to answer. This way he will give himself time to collect his thoughts and come up with a more or less plausible answer. Here is an example of such repetition. “What did you do last night” – “Last night I…” or even “You ask what I did last night? Well, I…"

• Too short or too detailed. If a liar wants to deceive you, then he can fall into two extremes. The first one is a detailed story with many unnecessary details. If a woman liar tells you about a party she allegedly attended last week, she may even “remember” the colors and styles of all the dresses of the women who gathered for the holiday. And the second extreme is excessive brevity. A liar sometimes gives a short and vague answer, the truth of which is difficult to verify due to lack of information. True, some liars combine both of these extremes. To begin with, they give you a short and abstract answer to a question and test your reaction. If you express disbelief, then they start bombarding you with a bunch of unnecessary and meaningless details.

• The best defense is an attack. Some liars, if you express doubt in their words, will immediately rush to attack you. They will start asking questions like this in an aggressive manner: “Who do you take me for? Do you doubt me? I thought we were friends / you love me…” etc. In this way, liars turn the conversation to another topic and make you make excuses. Such an aggressive defense against a liar may follow a simple question that he simply does not want to answer. One more example. “Daughter, where were you last night while I was working?” - “Mom, I'm already 17, and you control me! I'm tired, you don't trust me at all!"

• Attention to your behavior. The liar will constantly follow your face and tone of voice. The slightest sign of discontent or distrust will be a signal for him to change his strategy. Seeing how you frown as you listen to his story, the liar will immediately begin to justify himself or move on to aggressive defense. If a person tells the truth, then most likely he will be so passionate about his story that he will not immediately notice your emotions.

15 Ways to Recognize Lies

• Follow the emotions and gestures of the interlocutor. From the very first days of acquaintance, try to carefully look at how a person shows joy, boredom or sadness. Thus, you find out what behavior is typical for a particular person. And strong deviations from this norm are most likely to be signals of lies.

• Pay attention to the tone of your voice. When lying, it will most likely become either too high, or slow, or vice versa will accelerate.
• Look into your eyes. If the interlocutor, usually not particularly shy, starts to look away, then he is unlikely to be telling the truth.

• Be attentive to the person's lips. Liars often have an inappropriate smile, either from relief that you believed them or to relieve stress. Of course, this does not apply to people who are used to smiling often simply because of their cheerfulness.

• Check if the interlocutor who answers an important question has a “stony expression”. If a person is not characterized by unemotionality, then the sudden disappearance of all feelings from the face should alert. Most likely, the interlocutor is afraid to give himself away. Therefore, he simply suppresses all his emotions by an effort of will.

• Check if the interlocutor has “micro muscle tension”. This slight facial tension that appears for a couple of seconds is also a sign of a lie.

• Pay attention to whether the person is blushing or turning pale. The complexion cannot be controlled. It is a sign of excitement. And if a person is telling the truth, then why should he worry?

• Notice if the person's lips quiver. If this is true, but there are no obvious reasons for excitement, then he is lying.

• Look at how often your interlocutor blinks. This is also a sign of excessive excitement. If such a sign appears when answering a neutral question, then the person is most likely worried because he is lying.

• Look at the pupils of the interlocutor. Some psychologists believe that a person has dilated pupils when he tells a lie.

• Learn the gestures most often made by those who tell lies: a person rubs his eyes, covers his mouth, scratches his nose, touches his face with his hands, often pulls back his shirt collar.

• Don't forget to match the person's reactions to find out when their behavior will change.. Compare how a person behaves in similar situations to learn their habits. And when he does something that is unusual for him, carefully consider his words. They may contain lies.

• Be attentive to details. If a person begins to behave strangely and get nervous for no reason, take a closer look at his behavior.

• Pay attention to the left side of the body. It is associated with human emotions, and it is more difficult to control it. Therefore, if the right side of the body "contradicts" the left, then there is a possibility that the interlocutor is hiding something.

• Do not jump to conclusions and do not rush to blame the person. Before that, observe it even more carefully, and it is best if you draw conclusions while maintaining a sober mind.

The ability to distinguish truth from lies is a skill that every modern person needs. This ability will be easier to acquire if you communicate with different people and at the same time be attentive to the interlocutors. Then the ability to analyze facial expressions and gestures will appear by itself.

VIDEO: Did you know that there are only liars around you?

VIDEO: How to distinguish truth from lies in the news?

VIDEO: How to distinguish a lie from the truth?

As you know, a lie is a deliberate distortion of the truth, used by people for one purpose or another. But where does this shameful desire come from in people - to deceive everyone - and how to recognize it? So, lies are the topic of today's article.

Why do people lie to each other

Is it always necessary to tell the truth

Lies for good. What is it, when and how to use it

you can’t tell a girl that she is ugly, even if she is a gray mouse; you shouldn’t tell an elderly lady in the eye that she is an old woman, a granny, a hag, and the like; you can’t tell your child in a fit of anger that you don’t love him: he completely defenseless in front of his parents and largely lives by their love; you should not openly show jealousy to your girlfriend, because groundless distrust can lead to a break in relations, it is better to check everything first.

How to know that a person is lying to you or signs of a lie

Note: All this is very subjective and does not apply to all liars (some people know this and try to adapt to the situation)!

Here are a few ways to spot a liar:

Where does a person look when he lies

Identify lies by human behavior

A) Gesticulation. A truthful person often uses gestures, while a liar, afraid of betraying himself, does not gesticulate at all. B) A liar often twists something in his hands. But, sometimes speaking the truth, a person, if he is nervous, begins to do so. So, it would be more correct to say this: a liar is often nervous when he tells a lie. C) Often, before lying, a person takes a break in order to think about what exactly to lie. D) Very often, a liar begins to “turn on the fool” - stop understanding the essence of the question. This defensive reaction is used at the moment when the threat of exposure looms over the liar. E) Evasion. Hiding behind problems, busyness or anything else, the liar is trying to avoid communicating with you.

Crack the deceiver by gestures and facial expressions

If a person is justified, what does it mean

Illness when a person constantly lies

he often talks about the same event. And every time - with new details. And, in the end, he himself begins to get confused in the details; he constantly lies on trifles. Confuses small details, lies about small matters or details; he will always evade the answer, getting out and coming up with new and new lies, and along with it - more and more new excuses. He does not seek to admit his lie at all.

How to understand if a girl is lying to you

By correspondence

She takes a long time to respond to your messages. If she thinks about something for a long time after each of your messages - think about it, this may mean that she is thinking what to write to you. Although, she may just be busy and not have time to answer on time. She does not want to go into details or avoids answering. Not being able to come up with a complete legend, she begins to try in every possible way to get out of going into details in a given situation, realizing that she will fail when trying to think out such details on the go. Although, maybe this or that topic can simply be painful for her, and the girl may simply not want to answer your questions.

By phone

an attempt to move the conversation from topic to topic: trying to knock you down, the liar hopes that you will forget what you wanted to ask her about; rapid and heavy breathing, coughing, noisy breaths and exhalations are a great indicator that a person is nervous. It is possible that she is nervous precisely because she is lying; pause after a question. If, after your question, the girl falls silent, and then quickly and uncertainly pronounces the answer - this is just a blatant sign of a lie. She thinks up as she goes and tries to say the answer faster, hoping not to get caught.

In a personal conversation

Good afternoon, dear readers! Today I will not tell you anything useful. And this is a lie. We meet lies at work, at home, at school, with friends. It is unpleasant and disgusting to be deceived. I bring to your attention detailed instructions how to recognize a lie: 10 mistakes of a liar.

A fairy tale is a lie, but there is a hint in it

How many times in your life have you come across a person who seemed strange to you, you felt that he was not saying something, disingenuous. Have you noticed that you subconsciously do not trust his facial expressions, gestures, speech?

But how to identify deception and not fall for the bait of a liar?

If you want to become an expert in this field, then be sure to read Paul Ekman "Psychology of lies" and Pamela Meyer "How to recognize a lie".

Now we will consider the most common signs by which you can bring a liar to clean water. Remember that a lot depends on the context, not always a certain gesture will mean a lie. Be careful and vigilant.

Mistake #1 "Left Side"

Body language often speaks much louder than human speech. Right-handers tend to have good control over the right side of their body. track direction right hand and legs. You can easily subjugate an unbridled hand.

Therefore, experts in lie detection advise to look closely at the left side of a person. His left hand will randomly hang out, actively gesticulate, touch the face, and so on.

The left side of our body shows our real emotions, experiences and feelings. With quality observation, you can clearly see the signs of a lie.

Mistake No. 2 "Hands to face"

Pay close attention to the gestures of your interlocutor. Signs of lying - cover your mouth, rub your nose, hold your neck or scratch your neck, cover your ear, speak through your teeth. All this, with repeated repetition, will practically scream that a person is deceiving.

It is important here not to confuse such a gesture with a simple scratching of the bite, for example. Or this behavior may be characteristic of your interlocutor.

I have a friend who constantly scratches his nose. It doesn't matter if he's telling the truth or lying. Women resort to touching their neck or hair to show their interest in a man. So with such signals, be extremely careful.

Mistake #3 "Speech"

If you want to be convinced of the deceit of a person, then carefully follow his speech. In a conversation with a liar, you will notice a lot of understatement, a crumpled pace of speech, then he speaks quickly, then slowly. Most often, a liar's speech begins slowly, but then, due to fear of being discovered, he speeds up and may even end his story abruptly.

Liars often resort to a large number pauses in your story. This gives them time to think, evaluate your reaction. In addition, you will notice fluctuations in speech. To make it easier for themselves, liars repeat your own words. For example, when you ask a question, he will quickly repeat last words. "Where were you last week?" “Last week I was…”

Mistake #4 "Eyes"

No wonder they say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. In the case of meeting a liar, the eyes will be one of the main factors by which you can bring him to clean water. Deceivers try not to look directly at their interlocutor, all the time looking away.

You can even ask to retell the story to you, looking into the eyes. The liar will be confused, embarrassed and will still try to look away.

Mistake #5 “Emotions”

Facial expressions, as a component of body language, say a lot of what a person would like to keep silent about. The most common example is when a person tells you that he is glad to see you, but smiles only a moment later.

True emotions are expressed in parallel with speech. But a fictitious emotion is displayed on the face with a delay.

Mistake #6 "Brevity"

When a liar comes up with his speech, he tries to make it as short and concise as possible. You rarely hear a detailed and extended story from the lips of a professional liar.

Brevity allows you to quickly lay out your version and evaluate the opponent's reaction. Did he believe? But then the seventh miss happens.

Mistake #7 “Unnecessary Details”

When a person briefly outlined the essence of his fake story to you, but begins to doubt your credulity, he immediately embellishes the story with detailed, unnecessary, sometimes pretentious details. In this way, he tries to make his story more believable.

Pay attention to which points the person starts to add details and details. Are they needed in the story, are they necessary and important in your conversation.

Mistake #8 "Protection"

Another liar's move is to defend against your doubts. As soon as you express your disbelief, you will immediately hear “Do you think I look like a liar? Am I lying to you? You do not believe me?" and so on.

Liars may use sarcasm and jokes to cover up their lies. Do not confuse with normal human behavior.

There are comrades who are always trying to impress the interlocutor with their sense of humor.
In addition, sarcasm and rudeness between husband and wife can mean that they have serious respect issues.

Mistake #9 "Mindfulness"

The deceiver will watch your reaction very carefully. He will attribute the slightest change in your facial expressions to distrust or his complete victory. As soon as you frown slightly, he immediately changes tactics, because he considers this a sign of distrust.

The person who tells the truth will be more interested in their story than in your reaction to it. And the liar will try to understand whether you swallowed his bait or not.

Mistake #10 "Confusion"

If you ask your interlocutor to tell the story backwards, then the person who is telling the truth will easily do this trick. But the liar will start to get confused, remember what he told you, and in the end, he may not give any answer at all.

In addition, in the speeches of a liar there may be inconsistencies in dates, times, places. If you follow the story closely, you can find a couple of similar moments,

Summarize

Don't jump to conclusions. If you notice one or two of the signs described above, this will not always mean that the person is lying to you. A more correct approach would be to learn to see the totality of these signs.

When you know for sure that a person is lying to you, do not talk about it right away. Practice your ability to observe. Study his facial expressions and gestures. Ask questions that don't have the intended answer.

One of my friends came up with a spectacular maneuver. During his speech, he deliberately sneezed loudly when he wanted to convince the interlocutor that he was right. And with the words “I sneezed, it means I’m telling the truth,” he smiled solemnly.

All the best to you!