Write a letter to your little daughter from her mother. Touching words of gratitude for daughter from mom

Daria's letter to someone may seem too harsh. To someone, on the contrary, - full of wisdom and common sense. Editions Faktruma Daria's position is impressive: parents, of course, should strive to develop and encourage independence in our children.

1. After 3 years, I can kick you out of the house. Sounds scary, right? But nonetheless. At 18, you will have 2 options for action: you enter a university, and I support you as best I can, until graduation, or until you find a job. Either you put a bolt on the university (and I will never blame you for this) and go to work. And you provide for your own needs. I will not support a non-student girl aged 18+, because I think this is wrong. You have 3 years to choose...
Yes, we have already come up with a redevelopment of the apartment. Our bedroom will be in your room.

2. You are beautiful. You are beautiful. You are very smart. You are much better than me. You are wonderful. I've known you for 15 years, and you are much better than I could have imagined in my wildest dreams. If someone does not understand this, it is his problem. Well, and a little more of my father, but he quickly descends down the stairs, then I'm not worried.

3. I'm not an example for you. You are a completely different, separate person, you should not love what I love, you have every right to trample on my authorities and put a bolt on my values. One caveat: you will also be responsible for your choice yourself.

4. You are free. I don't expect anything from you. You can go to janitors, manicurists, locksmiths, turners, housewives, business analysts, office managers and become a cashier in Auchan. I do not consider it possible to interfere with your choice life path. But don't forget to reread the first paragraph.

5. You don't owe me anything. I didn't raise you in debt. I'm not waiting for a glass of water, if it's bad, I don't expect you to provide me with a comfortable old age, I don't dream of your Nobel Prizes. You have the right to choose what is important and valuable to you. Or let it all go. This is your life and your choice.

6. You have a house. Whatever happens in your life, I will be there if you need it. I will support and regret, I will sympathize and try to help if you ask. But I will not intervene spontaneously.

7. I have my own life. I don't have to help on the whistle, drop what I'm doing for you. sacrifice your comfort for yours. I CAN. But I SHOULD NOT.

8. You have your own life. Whom to marry, whether to have children, whether to become a lesbian, whether to enter into United Russia You will always decide for yourself. My views, political preferences, life beliefs should not influence you in any way. You can do as your heart, conscience and self-interest tell you. It won't make you lose me, won't stop being my daughter, won't make you persona non grata.

9. No one intends to harm you. It’s not easy to understand, but it’s true: everyone thinks only of themselves. And I. Yes. Any person in any circumstances behaves as he considers right. No one (mentally healthy) worsens his life consciously. He (or she) acts like this. how (from their point of view) it will be better for them. No more. It's just that your worldviews don't match.

10. The world is unfair. There are no guaranteed ways to succeed and no guaranteed ways to avoid failure. You do not control this world. You can do everything right and get screwed. You can break everything in the world and be on a horse. The only thing you have to worry about is honesty. Don't lie to yourself. Learn to understand yourself. Be aware of your true needs and feelings. And think about how you feel better.

11. Your "good" will almost always mean someone else's "bad". You will take someone's place at the institute or at the cash desk of Auchan. You'll be dating someone's love of a lifetime or sitting in someone's favorite seat at the cinema. Do not worry. Your "bad" will always mean someone else's "Good", so you're even.

12. 100% you can only trust yourself. No, not even me, I can't get inside your head. You are sure to understate, hide and conceal. I know, I do it too. I also have a mother. Only you know EVERYTHING about yourself. Only you know what you're capable of.

13. Don't shift responsibility. You are responsible for your life from the age of 18. And no Onasuka and Onkozel have nothing to do with it. Have children if you can raise them alone. Take on a project if you can pull it off without co-workers. Emigrate if you can be alone in a foreign country. ONE. If you are lucky and there are helpers, relatives, friends, it will be easier for you. But they don't owe you. Don't count.

14. Calculate. Every action has consequences. Maybe you don't foresee everything. But try to calculate the maximum. The better you imagine the options, the smarter your behavior.

15. Don't listen to me. I dashed off 14 points that, in my opinion, will make your life better than mine. But you are not me (and there was a separate paragraph about this, by the way). Don't compare. Don't equal. Go and live. I didn't give birth to you to be my daughter. I wanted to release into the world a person who will live his life in it. own life. Go and live it.

15a. Just don't complain afterwards.

15b. And don't turn off your phone. I worry.

There are all sorts of situations in life, and it often happens that mother and daughter cannot simply talk heart to heart, revealing their secrets and anxieties. In this case, you can try to write a letter to a loved one. After all, at least you don’t have to experience those emotions that can interfere with the conversation. The daughter's letter from her mother is simple, farewell and mentoring - that's what I want to talk about now.

What can you write about?

Initially, I would like to highlight those topics that can be touched upon in such letters.

1. You can tell your daughter about your past. Especially in the event that everything is said face to face for certain reasons does not work. Thus, mothers can tell about the mistakes of their youth, about their relationships and loves, about dad, who is not around. There can be a lot of topics.
2. Hint letter. It happens that mother and daughter do not communicate. BUT native person still wants to tell his child how to do the right thing. In this case, you need to write a letter, where the mother, by personal example or simply from her own experience, tells how to act in this or that situation.
3. Letter of apology. This type letters are used very often. After all, it happens that a mother simply cannot admit her mistakes in her eyes. And on paper, speaking out and asking for forgiveness is always easier. There is nothing wrong. This is just the first step on the path of rapprochement of native people.
4. Farewell letter. It also happens that the mother realizes that she has very little time left to live. But it is always very, very difficult to say this in the eyes of your child. Therefore, you need to try to write. The message can get to the daughter during the life of her parent, and after. In any case, this is a very important letter, in which mom puts her whole soul.
5. Request letter. In this case, mothers often turn to their "difficult" daughters with a request for normal behavior. With a plea for understanding. It should be noted that this method of communicating with a child sometimes even works better than a simple heart-to-heart talk. After all, it is very difficult to say everything in the eyes, but it is always easier to pour out the soul on paper.

Rules for writing a letter

You can write a letter to your daughter from your mother in any form. It can be poetry or prose. A couple of lines can be written, or a whole notebook can be written. This is not the main thing, only the meaning that the parent puts into the message is important here. But still there are some rules for writing such a letter:

• You need to write in plain language. That is, so that the child understands that the mother is “speaking” to him, and not a character from the film or a strange woman. In the lines, the daughter should recognize the style of the mother's speech.
• It is best to write by hand (exception - the letter will be sent by e-mail).
• You need to think about decor. If the letter is serious (for example, an apology), you should not paint it, decorate it with drawings. It should be as simple as possible. In a playful message, everything can be made bright and memorable.

How to write a request letter?

Modern life is such that children sometimes have to live far from their parents, moving not only to another city, but even to another country. Therefore, more and more mothers began to turn to their children with a request to take care of them in old age. There is nothing wrong with this, because it is the child who must take care of his parents, giving them a debt for his infancy and childhood. But people often forget about it. In this case, each mother should have a letter of request in stock.

• In such a message, it is necessary to indicate that old age awaits everyone, therefore, one should try to treat the elderly as if they were oneself.
• You can ask for forgiveness for your actions, the nuances of character.
• You can indicate what problems may arise in the future: dementia, leg problems, etc. So that the child is simply ready for what he will have to face.
• And at the very end, you need to ask the child not to forget about his parents, if possible - to help. But here you need to remember that you should not tell your daughter what to do and how. In this case, the letter will simply be empty.

Example: "Dear daughter! I understand very well that you have your own life, your own worries. I do not want to burden you with my problems. I will try to do everything myself. But I beg you, if I do not have the opportunity to take care of myself on my own, do not quit accept my old age, accept my illnesses and problems, and try to make my life easier. I love you endlessly, dear!"

Farewell letter

Sometimes life develops in such a way that you have to write a farewell letter to your daughter. It is very, very difficult to receive such a message from my mother. After all, basically it comes after death, when it’s already hard to remember the deceased parent. But here it should be noted that such a message is basically and most valuable. After all, in it the mother tells everything that during her lifetime she could not or simply could not tell her child. Most often, in this case, the parent of the child, because she could not live longer, could not raise her grandchildren. Also, mothers write that they will definitely become guardian angels for their children and will look after them from heaven.

It also happens that a farewell letter to a daughter from her mother comes when a woman leaves her child for certain circumstances. In such a message, the parent most often asks for forgiveness for her act, tries to somehow justify herself. There are also promises here, most often - to fix everything.

Example: "My beloved girl! Circumstances are such that I have to leave you. But only physically. My soul will always be with you. I do this only out of the best of intentions. Only in this way can I be happy, and with me - and you. Accept my act, do not judge, and if you can, forgive me. I love you, your mother."

story letter

Sometimes a woman decides to just write a letter to her daughter. It is not always possible to simply hear a story from a mother about her past or certain intimate circumstances of life. And reading everything in a letter is much easier. In this case, the parent can talk about his first love (in order to save his daughter from mistakes made in his youth), about the rules of relations with the opposite sex (again, using his own experience as an example). Often, mothers tell their children in such a message a story about their husband (father of children). Honest, truthful and unadorned.

Hint letter

You can write a letter to your daughter from mom and dad. This type of message is very popular in the West. There, before a wedding or as a gift for a wedding, they give their child just such a letter. Most often, it reveals the secrets of family happiness of mom and dad, advice on how to act in a given situation, what needs to be done to strengthen family relations and what is best to avoid.

Example: "Daughter! You are on the verge of committing an act that at one time could have ruined my life. The fact is that at your age I, like you, was carried away by an older man. I was ready to run away with him, but higher power saved me from it. And, apparently, not in vain. He turned out to be married, and he needed me only as a living toy. Therefore, daughter, I ask you: think everything and weigh all the pros and cons. But remember, whatever decision you make, I will support you. Your loving mother."

Letter of request

A letter to a daughter from her mother can be written in the form of a request. So, a parent may want from his child better behavior, understanding of certain actions. It should be noted that psychologists say that such messages work very well if you need to agree with the child not to do a certain act. After all, face-to-face conversations in such cases often end in quarrels and mutual accusations. And in the case of receiving a letter, the daughter will be able to at least fully “listen” to her mother and understand why she is trying to say this.

Thank you letter

This type of message is extremely rare. But still, it has its place. In this case, the mother can thank her daughter for the fact that she is just the way she is, with all the shortcomings and positive qualities. A letter from her mother to her daughter in verse can be prepared; by the way, it can also be comic. Most often - invented independently, so it turns out to be very funny. In turn, a letter to a daughter from her mother in prose can be fun. Such messages are often read at various holidays, anniversaries, important family dates.

But still, the most important thing when compiling such a message is honesty, openness and truthfulness. If in this way you open your soul to your child, it will be appreciated. And besides, it will be another step towards rapprochement dear friend friend of people.

A must read for every mother! I 100% agree with every word in the post! Yes and yes again!

I have adult daughter, far from a teenager ... But it was useful for me to re-read these lines. Sometimes I treat her like she's still 12. Forgive me, daughter! I love you very much, you are the most precious thing I have!

The author, Daria Korolkova, the mother of a teenage girl, decided to "dot all the i's", to outline in advance her daughter's position on her growing up and further independent life. The spelling has been preserved.

1. After 3 years, I can kick you out of the house. Sounds scary, right? But nonetheless. At 18 you will have 2 options:

You enter a university, and I support you as much as I can, until you graduate, or until you find a job. Either you put a bolt on the university (and I will never blame you for this) and go to work. And you provide for your own needs. I will not support a non-student girl aged 18+, because I think this is wrong. You have 3 years to choose...

Yes, we have already come up with a redevelopment of the apartment. Our bedroom will be in your room.

2. You are beautiful. You are beautiful. You are very smart. You are much better than me. You are wonderful. I've known you for 15 years and you're much better than I could have imagined in my wildest dreams. If someone does not understand this, it is his problem. Well, and a little more of my father, but he quickly descends down the stairs, then I'm not worried.

3. I'm not an example for you. You are a completely different, separate person, you should not love what I love, you have every right to trample on my authorities and put a bolt on my values. One caveat: you will also be responsible for your choice yourself.

4. You are free. I don't expect anything from you. You can go to janitors, manicurists, locksmiths, turners, housewives, business analysts, office managers and become a cashier in Auchan. I do not consider it possible to interfere with your choice of life path. But don't forget to reread the first paragraph.

5. You don't owe me anything. I didn't raise you in debt. I'm not waiting for a glass of water, if it's bad, I don't expect you to provide me with a comfortable old age, I don't dream of your Nobel Prizes. You have the right to choose what is important and valuable to you. Or let it all go. This is your life and your choice.

6. You have a house. Whatever happens in your life, I will be there if you need it. I will support and regret, I will sympathize and try to help if you ask. But I will not intervene spontaneously.

7. I have my own life. I don't have to help on the whistle, drop what I'm doing for you. sacrifice your comfort for yours. I CAN. But I SHOULD NOT.

8. You have your own life. Whom to marry, whether to have children, whether to become a lesbian, whether to join United Russia, you will always decide for yourself. My views, political preferences, life beliefs should not influence you in any way. You can do as your heart, conscience and self-interest tell you. It won't make you lose me, won't stop being my daughter, won't make you persona non grata.

9. No one intends to harm you. It’s not easy to understand, but it’s true: everyone thinks only of themselves. And I. Yes. Any person in any circumstances behaves as he considers right. No one (mentally healthy) worsens his life consciously. He (or she) acts like this. how (from their point of view) it will be better for them. No more. It's just that your worldviews don't match.

10. The world is unfair. There are no guaranteed ways to succeed and no guaranteed ways to avoid failure. You do not control this world. You can do everything right and get screwed. You can break everything in the world and be on a horse. The only thing you have to worry about is honesty. Don't lie to yourself. Learn to understand yourself. Be aware of your true needs and feelings. And think about how you feel better.

11. Your "good" will almost always mean someone else's "bad". You will take someone's place at the institute or at the cash desk of Auchan. You'll be dating someone's love of a lifetime or sitting in someone's favorite seat at the cinema. Do not worry. Your "bad" will always mean someone else's "Good", so you're even.

12. 100% you can only trust yourself. No, not even me, I can't get inside your head. You are sure to understate, hide and conceal. I know, I do it too. I also have a mother. Only you know EVERYTHING about yourself. Only you know what you're capable of.

13. Don't shift responsibility. You are responsible for your life from the age of 18. And no Onasuka and Onkozel have nothing to do with it. Have children if you can raise them alone. Take on a project if you can pull it off without co-workers. Emigrate if you can be alone in a foreign country. ONE. If you are lucky and there are helpers, relatives, friends, it will be easier for you. But they don't owe you. Don't count.

14. Calculate. Every action has consequences. Maybe you don't foresee everything. But try to calculate the maximum. The better you imagine the options, the smarter your behavior.

15. Don't listen to me. I dashed off 14 points that, in my opinion, will make your life better than mine. But you are not me (and there was a separate paragraph about this, by the way). Don't compare. Don't equal. Go and live. I didn't give birth to you to be my daughter. I wanted to release into the world a man who would live his own life in it. Go and live it.

15a. Just don't complain afterwards.

15b. And don't turn off your phone. I worry.

Dear daughter. Today I want to tell you my thoughts about what close people need in their relationship with us and what we need in our relationship with them. How closer man- the brighter this evidence will be. The closest of people should be a husband. It is absolutely certain that my thoughts are not the ultimate truth, I just tried to get as close to it as possible. this moment this is possible for me. You will go further, you will raise the next layers of your own feelings, thoughts, manifestations of your ego, and, I hope, you will become happier than me.

AT recent times I was very worried about the question of how much loving friend friend, people who felt each other the closest in the world, suddenly become strangers. This also happens with best friends can happen to siblings, and even spouses.

With friends, we are not obliged to announce a divorce and are not obliged to maintain relationships and take care of the family, so most often we just gradually move away and disperse like ships at sea. It doesn't work that way with spouses. You can’t disperse - this is a huge harm to children and the souls of spouses. We need to work towards rapprochement. And it is possible (just like with friends, by the way).
The first prerequisite is the presence of emotional intimacy from the very beginning of the relationship. If it is not there, or it is not complete, or it happens rarely, then there will be nothing to save later.
The next prerequisite is an action. We must act, not wait. Many prefer in such cases to pray for a spouse. This is undoubtedly correct. Prayer helps to tune in to the desired state of conscience, soul and heart, being in which you will make intuitively correct decisions, and people and events around you will also be tuned in a certain very correct way. But this is not enough. This part of the work is God. There is also your part of the work. This is work on yourself.

What kind of work must be done on oneself in order to restore the closeness of souls?

Let's think. What do people expect from a relationship to be intimate? Warmth and acceptance, love. To be interesting together, so that there is a joint movement and there is mutual understanding.

What do we end up with? Indifference, coldness, resentment, which develop into irritation. Instead of mutual understanding and shared interest - the patience of a stranger, adjusting oneself to another, losing oneself.

What does it take to make relationships the way people expect them to be? You need awareness, frankness (with yourself and others), sincerity, penetration and authenticity. And also the desire for truth, for the truth, the courage for the ability to recognize and accept it. Fear closes the truth, kills love, makes frankness shameful, constrains frankness, ridicules penetration, humiliates authenticity.

Let's start from the beginning. This is what happened to me and you the other day.

I got mad at you yesterday morning. I didn’t speak right away, I prayed first. Then, of course, it turned out to be softer, the anger hid, walled up deeper into the bowels of my heart, but I conveyed the pressure and resentment to you anyway.

In the evening, when the situation repeated itself, I no longer began to pray, but simply began to consider my anger as if from the outside. It turned out that I am angry because you do not meet my expectations, I am trying to fit you into a template that is convenient for me when in fact it is not necessary at all, and I directly demand, I am annoyed that you are trying to be true to yourself and you don't want to fit into a template that suits me. Of course, I couldn’t get angry after that, I just offered you my own option and explained why it seems to me that it would make life much easier and explained why your option makes life difficult for you, to which I was told that you were pleased my concern (! and not anger already!) and that although it complicates, it is much more interesting than my version. The answer has been accepted.

There is an opinion that in order to be sincere, you need to allow yourself to show the first emotion that comes as soon as something happens. Based on this, I should have been angry and not thinking of “running into” you right away. But my Christian position does not give me the moral right to do so - the first emotions of anger, irritation, fear, resentment, I do not consider it right to convey to others. But even just praying does not help me - yes, bad thoughts and feelings recede, but they hide, disguise themselves inside me, this is a fact that I cannot argue with.

Therefore, it seems to me that we should work on ourselves without any psychologists: stop in the current moment and look inside - why we think or feel one way or another. The answers lie within ourselves. It’s just that this is a job that you don’t want to work, laziness, no time (we are always running somewhere), it’s difficult ... in a dialogue with another, of course, it’s easier, but ... it’s not easier. Yes, and the dialogue is obtained just when everyone tries to look inside himself, and the other only slightly corrects and directs - as in our case with you. Have we got a dialogue? And why? Because I did not press, but simply expressed my thoughts, which the other person can accept, not accept, argue, agree, or amend - he still has the freedom to choose what to do with these thoughts of mine. As soon as we deprive another of the freedom of choice by our demand or categorical attitude, he runs away from us like from a prison.

And what would happen if I didn’t try to look inside myself, but simply they would teach me at the institute or in courses that it’s impossible to communicate with a child like that, but like this - right? What would happen if I acted according to the rules without thinking? My frankness, my sincerity, sincerity, authenticity would not have happened. I would be a proper mechanical robot. I would just say, you would just do. Our hearts would not communicate at this moment. For ourselves, other people's rules would communicate with each other, using our lips, voice and body, like robots.

When another person is forced to live by someone else's rules, without passing them through himself, without arguing with them inside himself, without understanding their essence with his heart, without coming to them on his own, then he becomes such a robot - providing his body, and the worst thing, his life - so that other people's rules live by it, and not his own soul! That is why people so often feel that they are losing their lives, that they are not living full life- they act mechanically, because they are so used to it, according to someone else's rules, sometimes according to their own, without realizing that they have changed so much a long time ago that their own rules do not suit them. They do not live each moment truly, consciously, sincerely and frankly with themselves and authentically. Life with patience and according to the rules gives rise for some time to a state of imaginary comfort, when it seems that everyone is comfortable and good, when the rubbish of one's own ego is hidden in the corners and well disguised. But this is the calm before the storm. A storm will happen in the form of a break, illness, departure, a strong quarrel, when it will no longer be possible to endure. When we live indifferently or according to the rules, then we hold back a huge energy within ourselves, which should be directed to creativity, love, awareness. If she does not find a way out in this, then she will find a way out in anger, resentment, illness, smoking, alcohol. The choice is ours.

How often do we adjust another, especially a loved one, to suit ourselves, our patterns, our ideas about beauty, although we ourselves have not realized them deeply, through our hearts and minds, discarding fears of becoming “bad”, “unloved”, “wrong”, “acting ugly ". And in the end, having sacrificed himself and adjusted to us, a person loses himself, he can no longer be authentic with us and communicate from the heart. It is hindered by the fear of becoming unloved or wrong in our eyes. And we ourselves are to blame for this. And we, meanwhile, do not understand what is happening - why a person suddenly became so distant, like doing everything according to the rules, trying, and we do not feel his soul, his authenticity, his heart, only some kind of coldness and indifference.

But besides the norms and rules imposed by us, there are a bunch of others that a person imposes on himself. And here it is important to help him face them without fear, because. it is very scary to do this alone (after all, the entire coordinate system is collapsing and a person is afraid that he will not be so good, beloved without them). We must ask him about them - how correct they are, reflect on them together, but we must be ready to accept and love this person if he discards these rules. Only when he feels our readiness to accept him without his rules, he will not be afraid, he will decide to discard them and become real, genuine and sincere.

What do we do when we fight and argue? We get tired of untruth, we get tired of living artificially like robots, we get tired of indifference, and not necessarily from someone else's, sometimes we want to quarrel in order to free ourselves from our own indifference and patience when we want to express what our heart feels. We just communicate authentically, frankly and truly. When we sort things out, we ask each other questions in a fit of anger and irritation, removing layer after layer of indifference and rules, destroying attitudes and habits, getting to the bottom of what is happening, getting into reality and truth. Anger breeds courage and determination. Why does it hurt so much? Why do we hurt each other? Why can't we do the same, but only without anger, but simply sitting quietly next to each other in an embrace? Where does this resentment and anger come from? What to do so that in their place there is love and warmth?

Remove ego. We lack the courage to remove our own ego. Therefore, we have to endure to such an extent that we accumulate enough energy to break through the wall of our own fear through anger.

What is ego? This is too much concern for yourself. This is an insult - a person is offended when he thinks that he was treated unfairly. When he does not see and does not believe in the laws of the justice of life and God - and that everything is always fair and does not happen differently, when he believes only in human justice, and yet we live by other laws. That is, a person protects from humiliation, insults not his soul, but his ego. This is an injured pride - when they make him understand that he is not the best. But the soul cannot be valued. It is not bad, good, a little wrong, ugly. The soul is always flawless and beautiful. And the assessment of us as “bad” by other people is either due to the fact that we either lie to ourselves and do not see the truth somewhere, or we see and somehow we are poorly able to express or distort meanings, or we see and express everything correctly, but people don't like it because it's scary, or uncomfortable for them at the moment (in the future, everything may change). Ego is when we try to fit ourselves into some kind of our own template of beauty or correctness and worry a lot about it. After all, it is enough for us to open our already beautiful and perfect soul, that is, to be truly sincere, real and truthful, conscious and authentic, because God has laid everything that is needed in us, our work is to open the pledged, and not change it. It opens up by itself when we simply go deep into ourselves, lifting layer after layer, realizing our thoughts and actions and reactions to what is happening around, and sincerely pulling out into the light of God our feelings and thoughts that are genuine for us at the moment, and not according to old rules, attitudes and beliefs.

To be aware of what is happening inside ourselves helps clear feeling - listening to what we feel at the moment and a clear name and formulation of these feelings, connected with our attitudes and values. And then the questions - why do I feel this and why do I need this situation by and large - what does she want to teach and what does she let me see and understand. As soon as we realize what is happening by and large - first of all, our ego disappears, and anger, and resentment, and irritation - only conclusions and questions remain - what to do next together with these conclusions.

Therefore, the most important obstacle is the fear of the truth, of a deep awareness of what is happening. Unwillingness to know the truth, fear that she will not be liked, that she may turn out to be ugly, uncomfortable, that she will confront us with difficulties and pain, force us to work on ourselves and do something beyond our strength. It is he who, more than anything else, prevents us from realizing and going deep into ourselves and helping another to go deep into ourselves. But pain, difficulties, ugliness and inconvenience are an illusion, it just means that we did not get to the bottom of the very essence, did not lift all the layers of our own false beliefs and attitudes, other people's opinions imposed on us, but stopped only half way. As soon as you go all the way to the very essence, only joy and lightness, gratitude and love remain.

Mom Daria Korolkova wrote a very frank letter to her 15-year-old daughter, in which she showed her attitude to.

When a child appears in the house, you are no longer just a woman, a wife and a good specialist at work - a new “position” appears. She demands responsibility. But often we confuse responsibility with sacrifice. The latter often develops into. Responsibility is to take care, when necessary, to tell that, and, of course, the ability to prepare for adulthood and let go in time. Mom Daria Korolkova wrote a letter to her 150-year-old daughter, in which she spoke about the realities of life.

1. After 3 years, I can kick you out of the house.

Sounds scary, right? But nonetheless. At 18, you will have two options for action: you enter a university, and I support you as best I can, until graduation, or until you find a job.

Either you put a bolt on the university (and I will never blame you for this) and go to work. And you provide for your own needs. I will not support an 18+ year old girl who is not studying, because I think this is wrong. You have 3 years to choose. Yes, we have already come up with a redevelopment of the apartment. Our bedroom will be in your room.

2. You are beautiful. You are beautiful. You are very smart. You are much better than me. You are wonderful

I've known you for 15 years and you're much better than I could have imagined in my wildest dreams. If someone does not understand this, it is his problem. Well, and a little more of my father, but he quickly descends down the stairs, then I'm not worried.

3. I'm not an example for you

You are a completely different, separate person, you should not love what I love, you have every right to trample on my authorities and put a bolt on my values. One caveat: you will also be responsible for your choice yourself.

4. You are free. I don't expect anything from you

You can go to janitors, manicurists, locksmiths, turners, housewives, business analysts, office managers and become a cashier in Auchan. I do not consider it possible to interfere with your choice of life path. But don't forget to reread the first paragraph.

5. You don't owe me anything

I didn't raise you in debt. I'm not waiting for a glass of water, if it's bad, I don't expect you to provide me with a comfortable old age, I don't dream of your Nobel Prizes. You have the right to choose what is important and valuable to you. Or let it all go. This is your life and your choice.

6. You have a house

Whatever happens in your life, I will be there if you need it. I will support and regret, I will sympathize and try to help if you ask. But I will not intervene spontaneously.

7. I have my own life

I don't have to help on the whistle, drop what I'm doing for you. Sacrificing your comfort for yours. I CAN. But I SHOULD NOT.

8. You have your own life

Whom to marry, whether to have children, whether to become a lesbian, whether to join United Russia, you will always decide for yourself.
My views, political preferences, life beliefs should not influence you in any way. You can do as your heart, conscience and self-interest tell you. It won't make you lose me, won't stop being my daughter, won't make you persona non grata.

9. No one intends to harm you

It’s not easy to understand, but it’s true: everyone thinks only of themselves. And I. Yes. Any person in any circumstances behaves as he considers right. No one (mentally healthy) worsens his life consciously. He (or she) acts like this. how (from their point of view) it will be better for them. No more. It's just that your worldviews don't match.

10. The world is unfair

There are no guaranteed ways to succeed and no guaranteed ways to avoid failure. You do not control this world. You can do everything right and get screwed. You can break everything in the world and be on a horse.

The only thing you have to worry about is honesty. Don't lie to yourself. Learn to understand yourself. Be aware of your true needs and feelings. And think about how you feel better.

11. Your "good" will almost always mean someone else's "bad"

You will take someone's place at the institute or at the cash desk of Auchan. You'll be dating someone's love of a lifetime or sitting in someone's favorite seat at the cinema. Do not worry. Your "bad" will always mean someone else's "Good", so you're even.

12. You can only trust yourself 100%

No, not even me, I can't get inside your head. You are sure to understate, hide and conceal. I know, I do it too. I also have a mother. Only you know EVERYTHING about yourself. Only you know what you're capable of.

13. Don't shift responsibility. You are responsible for your life from the age of 18

And no Onasuka and Onkozel have nothing to do with it. Have children if you can raise them alone. Take on a project if you can pull it off without co-workers. Emigrate if you can be alone in a foreign country. ONE. If you are lucky and there are helpers, relatives, friends, it will be easier for you. But they don't owe you. Don't count.

14. Calculate. Every action has consequences

Maybe you don't foresee everything. But try to calculate the maximum. The better you imagine the options, the smarter your behavior.

15. Don't listen to me

I dashed off 14 points that, in my opinion, will make your life better than mine. But you are not me (and there was a separate paragraph about this, by the way). Don't compare. Don't equal. Go and live. I didn't give birth to you to be my daughter. I wanted to release into the world a man who would live his own life in it.

Go and live it.

15.1. Then don't complain

15.2. And don't turn off your phone. I worry