Everything infuriates me, I can not calm down. Expression of negative emotions: you do not need to contain anger and irritation in yourself, otherwise they will destroy you from the inside

Irritation appears if we are faced with something that presses on our sensitive areas. And we begin to react, and often too sharply and painfully. Irritation turns into a flash of anger and can escalate into a grand scandal.

To prevent this from happening, it is often advised to control your discontent. It's not exactly the right strategy. If a for a long time carry negativity in yourself, it will slowly poison you from the inside. The best way get rid of an unpleasant feeling - try to understand it and correctly express it.

Attention to needs

Irritation is very eloquent. It communicates the needs this moment not satisfied. For example, you are driving home from work. Rush hour, traffic jams, the closed space of the subway or bus, crowding, someone's awkward movement ... All this infuriates. What does irritation mean? About being tired. Your safety and comfort needs are not met. You need rest, peace and quiet.

Or another example. Again, the husband and children scatter things and leave dirty dishes in the sink. You get annoyed, angry, yell at them. At this moment, look deep into your emotions, and they will tell you what you lack: perhaps a warmer emotional contact with your family, confidence that you are heard, appreciated, respected.

Understanding yourself

It also happens that the matter is not only in unfulfilled needs. An unpleasant emotional reaction is caused by people who are very different from you. In the case of a child, for example, even a simple dissimilarity of temperaments can be annoying: you are an active and fast adult, he is a slow, cautious baby. Even the absence of your child’s difficulties that you had at his age can be annoying: “I had to earn every new thing and beg from my parents, but he has a lot of things, and he doesn’t appreciate it.”

If we ourselves forbid something - for example, to openly express feelings in public, then those who allow themselves this will inevitably cause negative emotions. If you can see in the behavior of others what you yourself would never allow, it will be easier for you to accept that all people are different, and calmly go on your own way.

How to deal with it

Anger doesn't have to be dealt with. First you need to understand what it signals, and try to satisfy your needs. Then the negative will go away by itself.

At the same time, any negative emotion must find a way out. Describe the feelings that have arisen ("I'm very angry now, just indignant, I'm about to explode now"). It's good to talk about your physical sensations: “everything shrank inside, goosebumps all over the body, hands clenched into fists, lips tremble” ... While you are choosing expressions, you will already begin to calm down.

And remember, you need to show your dissatisfaction not only constructively, but also in time. Unspoken irritation will inevitably grow. Therefore, do not accumulate negative emotions. Say what doesn’t suit you, and be sure to offer your own solutions, otherwise any “trifle” will become the impetus for a big bang.

unpleasant feeling irritated familiar to everyone, but it manifests itself differently in everyone. Someone gets irritated only when faced with something that is already impossible to endure, while for others, every word, action and situation can cause an outburst of anger, anger and aggression. For example, a mother is late for work, and the child has not yet dressed, and she needs to take him to Kindergarten. Therefore, the mother yells at the child, demands that he move faster. The behavior of the baby infuriates her from the very morning!

It would seem that it should behave woman, who always does not have enough time to do everything, but suffers from the inability of her mother to restrain discontent Small child. Most often, from the very morning, women are annoyed, who, waking up, think: they have to go to this damn job again! Work for them is the object of the strongest hatred. At work, literally everything annoys them - a colleague who speaks loudly on the phone, a boss, a janitor, a cleaning lady, etc.

Another favorite object of hatred for many women is husband. How easy it is to get angry and blame all your failures on a man who will endure everything, forgive and take it back. It seems to them that her husband owes her everything and everything, but he does not live up to her expectations, cannot provide her with a luxurious life, earns little and always behaves in such a way that everything he does annoys her.

Scream, tear on her husband and children her anger, almost every day with them and swear - for many married women turns into a habit. They seem to have close people for this. But only such a manifestation of hatred can ruin everything once and for all. Lose trust and love. Are you ready for this turn of events due to the inability to curb your bad temper?

To each man it seems that he is doing the right thing and that if he scolds someone, then for the cause. However, in most cases, he comes up with good reasons for his irritation himself. Therefore, it is wrong to ask: “Why is everything infuriating?”, one should be surprised at that - why are you furious with everything and think about what to do with it?

To get rid of what infuriates you, you must first of all know what you are trying to cope with.

With constant discontent and shouting you are trying change husband and children, to force a colleague or boss to behave more politely towards you? It is impossible to fight irritants by showing anger, anger and hatred. After all, the problem is in yourself and you will always find something to rage about if you don’t start working on yourself.

succumb irritation easy and simple, but learning to behave calmly and respectfully towards others is difficult. It’s easier to yell at a child than to get up early and calmly wait for him to get dressed, it’s easier to condemn and blame your husband than to try to understand him, support and help him, it’s easier to take out your anger at a colleague than stop envying her and find a common language with her.

Inside everyone women, who get annoyed over trifles, lives a little girl who is afraid that adults will scold her. When she sees that her baby is not behaving at all the way she would like, she feels that her husband is not happy with her behavior, a child wakes up in her, who sees only her own fault in the situation and is terribly afraid that he is for it. may condemn or hate. In order to prevent loved ones from being the first to show their anger, the woman immediately gets annoyed and shows the appearance that everything infuriates her.

Therefore, more often total behavior of a woman, which everything infuriates is theatrical performance. For example, a husband is very dissatisfied with the behavior of his wife. She comes home late from work, never cooks dinner, and doesn't like to clean up the house. By the time the husband comes home, the children are hungry, there is a mountain of dishes in the sink, and children's things are scattered around the house. In order to prevent her husband from expressing his displeasure or to make her regret, a wife who is late from work starts screaming or sheds tears from the doorway.

Unfortunately, such qualities of character, as tolerance, kindness and calmness, which were inherent in women before, modern girls occurs less and less frequently. When something goes wrong at work or at home, they overreact to the situation, screaming, crying and even throwing a tantrum. The need to work and helplessness to change the situation irritates them the most.

People treat us the way we treat them. And the fact that everything infuriates and irritates a person says only one thing, that he does not know how to manage his emotions or does not want to. He never thinks about the fact that other people also have their own needs. For example, the husband had a bad day and therefore he does not want to talk, and the child is naughty because he did not get enough sleep or does not want to go to kindergarten. It is wrong to succumb to irritation, we must fight it. Try to understand other people and treat them the way you yourself would like them to treat you.

For this stop feeling sorry for yourself and rise above your habits, and then very soon you will see how beautiful the world that surrounds us is.

The color of his shirt, traffic jams, a colleague's ringtone, rain outside the window, mom's advice, tasteless ice cream - does everything piss you off? Do not dramatize, but it is worth understanding true reasons. Let's figure out where irritability can come from.

This is genes

“It seems to be nonsense, but it infuriates terribly!” The fact is that an irritable person tends to give out a sharply negative hyperreaction in response to a situation that is inadequate in significance. The tendency to such reactions can be hereditary, it is determined by the type of human nervous system. It is in women that this congenital genetic form of irritability is much more common than in men. Just because we are women - we are fragile and vulnerable flowers, and just about anything, we immediately release thorns. Especially if we do not get enough sleep, we overwork or we have critical days.

It's PMS

Premenstrual syndrome is particularly responsible for female irritability. Due to fluctuations in hormone levels a few days before menstruation, any fairy can become nervous, whiny and suspicious vixen. Even a husband can be annoying, steadfastly withstanding all the mood swings of his beloved and gently stroking her on the back. The primary culprit behind this behavior is progesterone. It can increase not only the woman's conflict, but even her body temperature.
Recently, premenstrual tension syndrome began to be classified as a disease and women were recommended to take sick leave for a couple of “critical” days, but the law remained in the draft). In particularly severe cases, PMS is treated by combining sedatives with exercise therapy, psychotherapy, and dietary adjustments. Although it has been proven that the best cure for premenstrual tension is healthy regular sex and childbirth.

These are hormones

If a PMS-like condition continues after the onset of menstruation, and Your Highness is annoyed not only by peas under the mattress, but also by crumbs in the bed, it makes sense to check the blood - what if it is blue? Joke. In fact, the blood needs to be checked for hormones. After all, in the end, no matter what reason we are looking for, everything closes on them. Constantly elevated levels of estrogen and progesterone can make any girl grumpy "old woman". Thyroid hormones also affect mood, so if irritability is adjacent to such a symptom as sudden weight loss, do not rejoice at the success of the new diet, but run to the endocrinologist.

It's a disease

No, not necessarily mental (although no one excludes schizophrenia, groundless irritability because of the closest ones is one of its first symptoms). We can talk about common colds and flu, or stress after an injury, or, for example, diabetes. In principle, such an expression as “bilious character” also speaks for itself: it would be useful to check the liver and gallbladder- Problems in these organs greatly affect mood. In an unhealthy body, the spirit cannot be healthy, it remains only to come to terms with mood swings and treat the underlying disease. A lot depends on the support of loved ones.

This is pregnancy

All future mothers are capricious. Some - by virtue of nature, but most because during pregnancy, hormonal changes also cause changes in the nervous system. This phenomenon is temporary, especially noticeable at the beginning of an “interesting situation” (then the woman gets used to her condition, and the hormonal status becomes more balanced). But in the first three months - nerves, tears, toxicosis, changes in sensations and tastes (what used to please, causes disgust). Couldn't that be annoying? Close people should treat all these whims and quirks with understanding and patience. And hope that after childbirth it will pass. True, not immediately: the birth of a child causes a rapid surge of oxytocin and prolactin in a woman. These are the hormones of love and joy, but all this joyful attention is directed only to the baby. There are no positive emotions and strength left for the husband and other family members. There is good news for others: in the postpartum period, a lot already depends on the nature of the woman. So to justify your irritability by the fact that this is “required by nature” is ridiculous.

Why everything infuriates and irritates: other reasons

This is hunger. A sharp drop in blood sugar levels and a catastrophic shortage nutrients in the brain during fasting can provoke an attack of irritability. Eat often, 4-5 times a day, but in small portions.

This is avitaminosis. Deficiency of certain vitamins can make a woman intractable. For example, B vitamins are indispensable for the proper functioning of our nervous system, and their lack (especially B1) provokes depression and irritability, fatigue, insomnia and migraine.

This is a pharmaceutical incompatibility. Some medications prescribed by a doctor for a completely different reason can provoke irritability of character. You can’t put up with this: such a reaction indicates incompatibility, so the appointment must be changed.

This is the weather. Dynamic weather with a sharp change in temperature and atmospheric pressure can adversely affect the state of the nervous, immune and cardiovascular systems of weather-sensitive people. The feeling of general weakness is accompanied on such days by sharp changes in the emotional background and irritability.

Techniques to deal with irritability

So, it is already clear that it is necessary to act first of all on the cause. Secondly, determine the source of persistent irritation and either eliminate it or eliminate it yourself. Well, if everything is not so critical, then here are quite working tips.

• Learn to count. If being angry makes you feel angry, mentally counting to 10 before you say or do something will be very helpful. Taking a break will help you deal with your emotions.
• run. And also jump, do fitness or dance. The movement will help "drain" anger and irritation, and you can see this in practice every time.
• Sleep or meditate. If the irritability does not go away, it may be due to lack of sleep or overwork. Even 15 minutes of relaxation in the middle of the day will help. And get at least 7 hours of sleep a night.
• Take a good break. When everything is completely tired, take a short week-long vacation and go to the sea. This will allow you to reboot and turn on the internal reserves of the body.
• Contact a professional. The help of a psychologist in especially difficult cases will not be superfluous.

The feeling that everyone around is incredibly annoying is familiar to everyone. At least once in a lifetime, but absolutely every person understands that everything infuriates him. And girls with such a mood come across about once a month. How to get out of this situation and see the positive in life again? Read this article.

Annoying people - what to do

Scientists consider the theory of eternal irritation, based on the theory of personality. That is, there is a concept that what irritates us in people is exactly what we are trying to get rid of in ourselves. In other words, if you don't like your laugh, you will be annoyed by people who allow themselves to laugh out loud at public place. Such people are perceived by you as pressing on a sore spot.

And, according to the law of meanness, such irritating people follow you literally at every turn. You are like a magnet for inadequacies. And it really is. There is a psychological field theory. Its essence lies in the fact that like attracts like. That is, we are not consciously looking for in the people around us what we do not like in ourselves. We mentally endow them with certain qualities. In addition to the theory of "mirroring", the concept of the field implies the interconnection of everything in the world. The phrase "accidents are not accidental" best translates the essence of this theory into a language that everyone can understand. Thus, we ourselves subconsciously surround ourselves with people who show us their own vices.

How to deal with this state of affairs? First, remember - do not try to run away from the problem. It will not be possible to completely isolate oneself from society forever. No matter how you slice it, man is a social being. Everyone has a need to communicate and share emotions. And, as is already clear from field theory, attempts to change the environment will not lead to anything good either. Sooner or later, you will surround yourself with negativity again. Therefore, the first step to get out of such a situation is to admit your imperfections and make every effort to correct them. And yes, learn to be patient. Nobody is perfect.

The first step towards correction is awareness. Many of our problems with our "I" are caused by a mismatch of our own ideas. For example, in childhood, parents constantly insisted that a girl should stay at home and give birth to children. And you decided to bet on a career. Even if you haven’t decided, you are forced to be in such a situation. And that makes you feel dissatisfied with yourself.

Now figure out, in your current situation, how comfortable? Yes, having a man nearby with whom you can safely sit at home and give birth is good. And in the days of our parents, it was a matter of course. Life is completely different today, don't try to conform to other people's desires. Decide what is best for you and live that way.

What to do if everything is annoying

Stop for a moment and think - is it really all? Or is there just one problem, the thought of which makes you fall into a deep depression or even?

A simple example, at the moment you are experiencing financial difficulties. This situation, of course, you, day and night. It is difficult to be calm and happy, not knowing how to pay for an apartment and with what money to buy food tomorrow. All your thoughts are concentrated on this problem. And often the negative from these thoughts falls on the one who dares to pull the “sufferer” out of the world of his experiences.

In this situation, one thing will help - the world is not to blame for your situation. The behavior of the child does not affect your problems at work, a broken car will not be able to affect your personal life. Understand and take it for granted.

All failures are related to you. You don’t work enough, you didn’t bring up the necessary qualities in yourself. Realize your disadvantages - laziness, obsession with yourself, inability to prioritize. Do not feel sorry for yourself, do not try to somehow mitigate your imperfections. Attempting to mute will cause the problem to remain. It will soften, it will be veiled, but it will exist.

What to do if your husband is angry

And again, in order to qualitatively “cure” a problem, it is necessary to find out why it arose. Most family crises are related to the fact that the man you married and the man lying on the couch some time after the wedding are like two different person. And in fact, this is not at all because your husband has changed with age. During courtship, men do their best to please the object of desire. And for this they use any means. Including changing your habitual behavior to the style that is pleasing. And after the wedding, pretending to be a knight without fear and reproach is no longer relevant. So they relax the muscles overworked during courtship on the couch.

“So what now, divorce him or what?” you ask. Of course no. Try to understand your spouse, look at the world through his eyes. Having laid out his motives and actions in your head, it will become easier for you to put up with the state of affairs.

Oh yes, and find out for yourself, but are mugs standing on a shelf with their hands in different directions, and not strictly to the left, as you want, is it really such a terrible sin? Or maybe put up with it, for the sake of a strong shoulder, a native smile and a loved one?

Be more tolerant of people, learn to forgive - after all, no one is perfect.

The sun is out, the people around are kind and nice, but everything infuriates you? Most likely, you have repeatedly wondered: "Why does everything annoy me?" TOPBEAUTY will try to find the answer.

It's one thing when you sit in the office for a whole week, around the noise and din, phone calls- there is a reason for your irritability.

Let's try to figure out why everything annoys you and how to deal with it.

This question is studied by such a science as psychology. It is in it that it is said in black and white that every person has an inner "I". This "I" is the conscious state of a person, his thoughts, feelings that he can control, desires and dreams.

The conscious "I" controls our actions, and we, in turn, direct it in the right direction. But also in psychology there is such a term as the unconscious.

In a state of unconsciousness, you cannot control your "I", it begins to do what it wants, and as a result, you have a "conflict" with it. It sounds strange, a conflict with your "I", but this is an absolutely normal phenomenon that happens to every person.

This unconscious appears when you stop thinking logically, lose control over your "I" and go into dreams. During annoyance, you think: "Why does this annoy me?" and you start to get even angrier because you can't find the answer.

A man passes by and speaks loudly on the phone, another sniffs, and the third chews gum loudly, you are ready to kill them, but you are silent and keep everything to yourself. The irritant can be any, in any place, but you should not keep the feeling of anger "in yourself."

So, what to do when everything annoys you, so as not to go crazy from it?

• Do not be silent! Of course, do not throw yourself at a random passer-by with shouts that he is chomping loudly and do not start lecturing him. Come to a friend, boyfriend (you can call them on the phone, but in any case do not write SMS). Share your trouble with them. Your communication may begin with such a phrase as: "I don't know what to do, everything around me annoys me." As a rule, other people's problems are easier to solve than their own, and friends can always give advice that turns out to be practical. But it's not about advice, it's about communication. During your conversation with friends, your anger will already begin to subside, you will calm down.
• Relax. No matter how trite it may sound, but try to relax, turn on your favorite music, start breathing evenly, go to a cafe and have a drink. hot chocolate(the main thing is that the waiter in the cafe does not do stupid things that will annoy you even more).
• Help the person. Do you see a grandmother on the street with a heavy bag or a woman who cannot climb stairs with a stroller for a child? Approach them and offer help, they will be grateful to you and their positive energy will pass to you. Yes, it's good for karma.

But there are a couple of things that are strictly forbidden to do in moments of anger:

• Don't go to social networks. The flow of unnecessary information will further aggravate your condition.
• Don't make it worse. No need to think about how you hate everyone and make plans to take over the universe.
• Don't get discouraged. Often, when everything annoys you, you can start thinking about how bad everything is, thereby making yourself even more sad.

Remember, no matter how calm and balanced you may be, moments of the unconscious will definitely come to you, the main thing is to be able to pull yourself together in time and not succumb to provocations of irritants.

The question posed in the title of the article is not only very serious, but also entertaining. Often thinking about this problem, many representatives of the human race understand that the origins of this problem should be sought in psychology. It is the science of the soul, psychology, that explains that it is the psyche that triggers those processes of irritability that lead to a state of anger, irritation and "rage".

For a more detailed study of the process, why everything infuriates and irritates, one should dwell on the cause of the occurrence of these processes in the human psyche, from which states of “rabies” and irritation arise. As well as the design of their construction.

Causes of the processes of irritation and "rabies"

This condition may result from a strong nervous tension in an individual caused by severe overwork. It also occurs with external influences. This state is depressing in nature and can be produced or provoked by an individual higher in the hierarchy.

The traditional stimulus is labor or educational activity , which was not chosen according to inclinations and abilities young man, but imposed by the opinion of parents or authoritative senior mentors, or by signs of approval by society. And also a moment of positive and sustainable material well-being. With the above-described motives in choosing a profession and direction with which all conscious life will be connected, with age comes the understanding that work does not bring satisfaction and joy. As a result, the desired results cannot be achieved and dreams do not come true. On the basis of this, there is an internal rejection of routine in the performance of tasks and, as a result, a state of rage and irritation.

Another cause of anger, turning into rage, and severe irritability are problems in communication in interpersonal relationships. It can be both friendly and intra-family, as well as labor relations.

The following reason follows from the problems in communication - conflict interaction. The conflict, in itself, even when it occurs, carries a negative message for some of its participants. For some of them, he, that is, the conflict, can serve as an incentive in the manifestation of irritability and anger, as a state of rage.

Design of irritability and anger turning into rage

The analysis of any psychological issue should begin with modeling the design of the object in question. When considering why everything is infuriating and annoying, the design might look like this. Emergence of the irritant - awareness of the stimulus - accumulation of irritability - climax of the state (first reactions) - stress factors - the second stage of irritability (anger) - "rabies".

For a better understanding of each of the elements listed in the chain, let's focus specifically on each of them separately.

Occurrence of an irritant- this is the stage when the individual first encounters discomfort in a particular situation.

Awareness of the stimulus- this is the stage when, having felt discomfort, a person begins to understand his surroundings and activities, searching for that "splinter" that caused him an unpleasant sensation.

Accumulation of irritability- this is the stage when the individual, having realized the stimulus, begins to accumulate the sensations that he experiences and possibly wants to “splash out” on his stimulus, but for subjective reasons known only to him, does not bring his plans to life.

The culmination of the state, that is, the first reactions, is the stage when the negative that a person hides in himself, not being able to “return” to his irritant the uncomfortable sensation that he experiences as a result of the

stress factors- this is the stage when, already brought to a state approaching anger, a person again receives a portion of negativity from the outside. It is possible that such irritation is completely independent of the initial impulse of anger.

The second stage of irritability (embitterment) is the stage that is marked by a splash on others, often not involved in the situation, which caused irritation of the individual's psyche. A person who is at this stage of the construction is often no longer aware of and does not control his outbursts of anger. The best option The way out of this situation is to contact a specialist psychologist.

“Rabies” is the stage when an individual, after a state of anger, begins to react to everything, not even negative points in this segment of life, not quite adequately. In this case, a depressive state may appear or the already existing neurasthenia, which manifests itself at the stage of anger, may intensify. The individual may experience hysterical surges.

The participation of a psychologist in the elimination of the consequences of a state of irritation

Psychological intervention in a client who is recovering from the process of irritability and rabies he experienced, or who is at one of the stages of the considered construction at the time of contacting a specialist psychologist, can be built as follows.

A specialist psychologist in the role of a "fellow-traveller-guide" turns the client "face" to his problem and offers "keys" to its solution. The program of work is individualized depending on the stage at which the client who has applied for help is.

The reasons given are the most common when considering this issue. Analysis of the construction of irritability and anger, turning into rage, indicates the gradual formation of such a state in an individual.

First of all, calm down. To do this, you have to retire, move away from your problems. How to put consciousness to zero. From this point of view, you will have to analyze what went wrong in your life, what exactly led to uncontrollable anger? That continues to feed her. Maybe you can exclude some one factor, some single link, and this endless chain of grievances will break, release you from captivity. People are pissed off It happens that you begin to jar from the company of people. People around are slow, lazy, stupid and so on. There may well be ordinary fatigue behind this, especially if you work with people. Try to stay at home alone for a couple of days, because you also need to rest from communication, right? You can get out into nature and live alone in a tent. In a week or two it will pull to the people. Annoying work Job. Most we spend our lives at work. And very often it starts to enrage us. No one can work without rest, and here you need to think: maybe it’s just worth taking a vacation? It's time to give yourself a break, change the environment and environment for a while. If the vacation does not help, then maybe you just need to change jobs? Not everyone, of course, has such an opportunity, but think about it, because money can't buy health and happiness! Sometimes you just come across a nasty team that you don't fit into. Especially if you are used to the fact that the work is done in a team, count on the support of colleagues, and they sit on you instead! Get your feet out of this place of work and forget it like nightmare. Remember, it is always possible to find a good team. Not everywhere at work is such a "viper" in which you are now. If you go to interviews, then try by hook or by crook to get to know potential colleagues at least briefly. Here you just need to act, and not get angry. Annoying loved one If something annoys you, you can always spend time with someone you love. But what to do if the one you care about begins to annoy you? Try to talk to him, he will enter into your position and try not to get you. Or, everything is very bad, then perhaps it is not for you? Sometimes you can ask to take a time out in a relationship. Go away for a week, miss each other. Maybe this will save your relationship. If you can't cry into your lover's vest, then just keep her out of your troubles and pause before deciding to break up. Everything pisses me off and I want to cry Cry! Tears are generally designed to release excess tension through them. It is best to do this where no one can see you, so that this does not lead to a new round of tension. Drown out the sounds of crying with music or the sound of water, and begin. Believe it will help! Tears are the way out of unspent aggression. Even the Bible says that those who mourn will be comforted. Trust this authoritative source.

How to calm down at home if there is no mood, and everything is annoying

If everything around infuriates and annoys - just change the environment and people

The feeling that everyone around is incredibly annoying is familiar to everyone. At least once in a lifetime, but absolutely every person understands that everything infuriates him. And girls with such a mood come across about once a month. How to get out of this situation and see the positive in life again? Read this article.

Annoying people - what to do

Scientists consider the theory of eternal irritation, based on the theory of personality. That is, there is a concept that what irritates us in people is exactly what we are trying to get rid of in ourselves. In other words, if you don't like your laugh, you will be annoyed by people who allow themselves to laugh out loud in public. Such people are perceived by you as pressing on a sore spot.

And, according to the law of meanness, such irritating people follow you literally at every turn. You are like a magnet for inadequacies. And it really is. There is a psychological field theory. Its essence lies in the fact that like attracts like. That is, we are not consciously looking for in the people around us what we do not like in ourselves. We mentally endow them with certain qualities. In addition to the theory of "mirroring", the concept of the field implies the interconnection of everything in the world. The phrase "accidents are not accidental" best translates the essence of this theory into a language that everyone can understand. Thus, we ourselves subconsciously surround ourselves with people who show us their own vices.

How to deal with this state of affairs? First, remember - do not try to run away from the problem. It will not be possible to completely isolate oneself from society forever. No matter how you slice it, man is a social being. Everyone has a need to communicate and share emotions. And, as is already clear from field theory, attempts to change the environment will not lead to anything good either. Sooner or later, you will surround yourself with negativity again. Therefore, the first step to get out of this situation is to admit your imperfections and make every effort to correct them. And yes, learn to be patient. Nobody is perfect.

The first step towards correction is awareness. Many of our problems with our "I" are caused by a mismatch of our own ideas. For example, in childhood, parents constantly insisted that a girl should stay at home and give birth to children. And you decided to bet on a career. Even if you haven’t decided, you are forced to be in such a situation. And that makes you feel dissatisfied with yourself.

Now figure out, in your current situation, how comfortable? Yes, having a man nearby with whom you can safely sit at home and give birth is good. And in the days of our parents, it was a matter of course. Life is completely different today, don't try to conform to other people's desires. Decide what is best for you and live that way.

What to do if everything is annoying

Stop for a moment and think - is it really all? Or is there just one problem, the thought of which makes you fall into a deep depression or even?

A simple example, at the moment you are experiencing financial difficulties. This situation, of course, you, day and night. It is difficult to be calm and happy, not knowing how to pay for an apartment and with what money to buy food tomorrow. All your thoughts are concentrated on this problem. And often the negative from these thoughts falls on the one who dares to pull the “sufferer” out of the world of his experiences.

In this situation, one thing will help - the world is not to blame for your situation. The behavior of the child does not affect your problems at work, a broken car will not be able to affect your personal life. Understand and take it for granted.

All failures are related to you. You don’t work enough, you didn’t bring up the necessary qualities in yourself. Realize your disadvantages - laziness, self-obsession, inability to prioritize. Do not feel sorry for yourself, do not try to somehow mitigate your imperfections. Attempting to mute will cause the problem to remain. It will soften, it will be veiled, but it will exist.

What to do if your husband is angry

And again, in order to qualitatively “cure” a problem, it is necessary to find out why it arose. Most family crises are related to the fact that the man you married and the man lying on the couch some time after the wedding are like two different people. And in fact, this is not at all because your husband has changed with age. During courtship, men do their best to please the object of desire. And for this they use any means. Including changing your usual behavior to the style that is pleasing. And after the wedding, pretending to be a knight without fear and reproach is no longer relevant. So they relax the muscles overworked during courtship on the couch.

“So what now, divorce him or what?” you ask. Of course no. Try to understand your spouse, look at the world through his eyes. Having laid out his motives and actions in your head, it will become easier for you to put up with the state of affairs.

Oh yes, and find out for yourself, but are mugs standing on a shelf with their hands in different directions, and not strictly to the left, as you want, is it really such a terrible sin? Or maybe put up with it, for the sake of a strong shoulder, a native smile and a loved one?

Be more tolerant of people, learn to forgive - after all, no one is perfect.