How to prove your opinion? The ability to substantiate - does it mean thinking or just relying on facts? How to prove you're right.

Each of us at least once in life entered into disputes. And, of course, no one wants to leave similar situations losers. And it is on this basis that the question arises: how to win the argument, how to prove to the opponent that his point of view is fundamentally wrong? Consider a few options, which will have a fruitful effect on your victory in this small war.

So, to begin with, try to understand how deeply your opponent understands the problem on the basis of which the dispute arose. This will be evident - either your opponent will speak clearly articulated, concise phrases, getting closer and closer to the goal, or he will frantically try to find answers, jumping from guess to guess.

In such cases, it is good to use examples from real practice in your speech, giving them in short and jerky portions. Rely on common sense! Try to make your speech consistent and unambiguous.

And one more rule - never put all the cards on the table! Do not say at once absolutely everything that you know and think about the topic of the dispute - this will simply leave you unarmed and you will obviously not be able to emerge from this controversy as a winner.

But these methods are good in cases where you understand well what you are talking about, but what if the topic of your controversy is unknown and incomprehensible to you? There are “dirty” but effective tricks for this. I think you could watch them on TV more than once. Let's take a look at them.

The first thing to try to get away with it is to try to sidestep the dialogue. It may well turn out that your opponent will easily move from topic to topic and simply forget about the reasons for the dispute.

The second piece of advice is not to let your opponent breathe. Look into his eyes and speak in a monologue. Do not notice his attempts to insert something, and if necessary, play with your voice, raise your intonation.

Try to understand what your opponent thinks about the problem of the dispute, and as soon as a more or less clear scheme appears, bring his point of view to the point of absurdity. Give the most incredible examples from his point of view. Literally, make fun of his position.

Another panacea for a lost dispute is work in position. If you are confident, then strengthen your opinion, and if you feel your incompetence, then find the slightest inconsistencies in your opponent's position, use them wisely and gradually to break the opponent's point of view.

Try to destroy all the arguments that the opponent will operate with. And another little trick will help you with this - cling to mistakes. Anyone. Speech and grammar, everything that you can isolate from the opponent's speech. He put the accent in the wrong place or paused, used the wrong word, or violated the logic.

And the most extreme version of the development of events, although sometimes the most effective, is the transition to personalities. No, this does not mean at all to break into foul language and humiliate the opponent, this is an attempt to operate with phrases such as: “what if you?” etc. Sometimes your opponent will simply not be able to include himself in the situation on the basis of which the dispute arose. And in this case, you can safely say that he is an amateur in this problem.

And, probably, a universal, but not a very simple method, which was laid down in Ancient Greece. We are talking about the Socratic sophists. They knew “everything”, and confirmed it only with an incredibly beautiful, concise and, at first glance, logical speech.

And you should speak beautifully. If your speech is elegant and subtle, and also appears crystal clear, then no one will be able to find even the slightest flaw in your point of view. This method has been tested for centuries and sophistry is still used by many public figures.

Persuasion is an art! You know for sure that your proposal is necessary and constructive. But for some reason, neither the husband, nor the girlfriend, nor the leader are in a hurry to agree with you. If you master the techniques of competent dispute management, the last word will always be yours!

13:08 22.06.2013

Strange, but what is obvious to you, to other people often seems like complete stupidity and whim. And then you have to prove that the concept of "vacation" is incompatible with fishing and camping. What are you up to to lead the sales department. That it makes sense to finish driving courses, even if there is no car yet ... In general, every day and every hour you convince others that you are right. This is not so bad - the worse thing is that you do not always manage to emerge victorious from these verbal battles.

Of course, there are times when it is even beneficial to back down and change your mind. If it is not a matter of principle, a healthy compromise only helps to maintain a good relationship with those around you. However, giving in always and to everyone is not only harmful from a practical point of view, but also hits hard on self-esteem and develops an inferiority complex. In addition, it creates the image of a weak-willed and weak-willed lady. Therefore, mastering the basic techniques of persuasion will help you feel more confident in any situation.

Control your emotions!

Most the right way to give up your positions is to start defending them when you are nervous, too excited or scared.

Take a time out. If you feel that your voice is trembling treacherously, and tears are about to appear in your eyes, tell your interlocutor directly: I can’t have this conversation now, let’s come back to it later. You will take advantage of the break in order, firstly, to calm down, and secondly, to think over your behavior and words.

Take control of the situation: do not piss off the interlocutor! It does not make sense to have a conversation with an annoyed person, all the more you should not bring it to a “boiling point” on purpose. This is simply not constructive: your interlocutor will perceive only a third of the incoming information.

Do not perceive the clash of your interests as a "theater of war", where, as you know, all means are good. Even if your arguments are reasonable, they simply will not reach the interlocutor, because his common sense will be blocked by a defensive reaction! With threats and insults, you may be able to force a person to retreat for a while, but he will harbor resentment or anger that will fall on you at the most inopportune moment.

Little tricks: to calm down, take a few deep breaths through your nose. Then look around the room and silently list, say, seven red objects: a red folder, a red briefcase, a red pen, and so on. It's distracting.

Presenting our point of view

Think over your line of defense in advance, and even better - prepare a speech in which you will logically and reasonably prove that the option you propose is the best. Consider the structure of your mini talk:

The current state of things. For example, "Now we live in old apartment with her husband's parents.

Its advantages and disadvantages.“We are accustomed to these walls, but it’s a bit crowded to live with our parents, and the family will soon be replenished - it’s unlikely that we will be comfortable.”

Your offer.“We need to take out a loan and buy a new living space.”

Difficulties."We'll have to save money to pay the bank."

Undeniable merit.“But we will be able to equip a separate room for the baby, we will live on our own.”

Such a well-structured presentation of one’s own position will set the interlocutor for a constructive dialogue. It will also show him that you have approached this problem responsibly, so it will be difficult to disagree with you!

Little tricks: There should be more positives in your plan than negatives. And one more thing: since it is best to remember exactly last words, first tell about the shortcomings, and at the end - about the undoubted advantages. Do not speak too fast: speech reaches the interlocutor if its speed does not exceed 2.5 words per second.

If you were taken by surprise

Of course, it's good if you have time to think over your tactics. And if the dispute arose spontaneously, are you confused and feel that you are losing ground?

Divert your opponent's attention. Look out the window, offer coffee or compliment your hair. Your remark will affect the debater like a pothole on a flat road: he will stumble and reduce his pressure a little.

Ask a Question. While the interlocutor will give his evidence, you will have time to find convincing words in response. Instead of dragging out: “I didn’t mean it at all ...”, calmly ask: “Why did you draw such a conclusion?”

Do not make excuses! As you know, if you make excuses, then you are guilty. Move the conversation from the plane of accusations to the plane of constructiveness and ask the counterpart to give specific facts.

Noisy place. Look at the interlocutor (in the area of ​​​​the lips, nose): he will make sure that you are listening to him carefully. In conversation, use only words that are familiar to him. Speak in short precise sentences.

Little tricks: verbs like “forbid” are best used at the beginning of a phrase or not used at all. And the words “allow”, “agree”, “I like” - at the end. In order for your opponent to better catch your main idea, voice it not once, but several times: at the beginning and always (!) At the end of the conversation.

If they don't agree with you

Do not immediately get lost or upset if the interlocutor does not accept your point of view. Special equipment overcoming objections will help you win the argument!

Listen carefully to his objections. For example, your husband thinks that it is too early to send the child to kindergarten.

Confirm them. Show that you understood your interlocutor correctly: “Yes, you are worried that he is still too small for kindergarten.”

Turn your objection into a question."Let's see if it's really that small for a kindergarten, what do you think?"

Answer this question. “He already asks for a potty, eats on his own, loves to play with children of his age.”

Make a conclusion.“So, our baby is already ready to go to kindergarten!”

Little tricks: the simplest neutral words (“of course”, “of course”) with a sympathetic tilt of the head will cheer up the interlocutor. In addition, elementary upbringing will make him listen to your opinion just as carefully.

Change the negative to the positive!

As you know, the glass is half empty or half full - depending on the point of view of the observer. Any situation can be turned around by showing its positive aspects.

Use the wonderful word "but":"I'll be late at work, but I'll get a raise in salary." Or: “It will be difficult financially, but we will have a large apartment - a nursery, a hall, a bedroom!”, “I bought myself an expensive fur coat - but I have been wearing it for more than one year.”

“It benefits everyone!” Very often they do not agree with you not out of stubbornness - a person simply may not see what he personally will gain if everything happens your way. Help the interlocutor see the benefits of your offer by exploiting its weaknesses. Is your colleague worried about how he looks in the eyes of his superiors? Show him that your project will not only benefit the company, but also strengthen your and his image.

Little tricks: put forward not your interests, but the goals of the interlocutor. Instead of "I would like to..." say "Do you want to...". People are more willing to support a conversation about their own problems and desires! To establish mutual understanding, copy the pose or gestures of the interlocutor: such a “mirroring” will tell him that you like him.

If your opponent is a man

Yes, and this also needs to be taken into account. Less emotions, only arguments.

Forget the monologue! A man listens attentively for 10-15 seconds, and then he should be given the opportunity to insert a remark “about”. Ask him a question, and it’s better to formulate it in such a way that the answer confirms your innocence: “Do you also want our son to grow up independent?”

Choose the right posture: if you need to influence his feelings, stand on the left side, if on logic, it is better to stand on the right. Only facts and logic! Do not appeal to emotions, state objective information. It is important that your arguments are logical, and the conclusions are obvious.

Use a minimum of words: only nouns and verbs. Men do not perceive long phrases.

When you argue with a woman

A woman needs to establish contact with her interlocutor, it is important for her to listen carefully and sympathize.

Get emotional! If you show genuine interest in her internal state She will be more willing to meet you. Avoid ridicule, and joke only if you are sure that you will be understood correctly.

Be careful with words! Women tend to see a hidden meaning or hint even in a seemingly harmless replica.

If you lack confidence, seat your interlocutor, and continue the conversation while standing: standing man has a psychological advantage over the seated one.

Consider the temperament of the interlocutor

Choleric inherent fast paced mental activity, therefore, as a rule, he prefers generalizations. Tell him the main idea, and only then ask a question.

Phlegmatic first put a question, the answer to which will be your proposed action plan.

sanguine- the person is quite balanced, first of all appeal to his reason and logic, and only then to feelings and emotions.

melancholic- too sensitive nature, so try to avoid harsh statements.

How to convince the opponent?

To prove your point, you need to know what words are likely to affect your counterpart. Determine who he is: visual, auditory or kinesthetic.

The visual uses the following phrases: "I see what you're getting at", "dark place", "sounds nice". A visual person usually speaks quickly, high voice swallowing the words.
Use phrases:“Let’s shed some light”, “it’s good to see”, “upon closer inspection”.

Audial uses the words: “this is unheard of”, “told the whole world”, “I don’t want to hear anything”, that is, it passes information through the sound channel. The speech of the auditory is unhurried, detailed, he often accompanies words with gestures.
Use phrases:“that sounds good”, “to tell the truth”, “let's talk seriously”.

Kinesthetic says: “I feel it with my liver”, “why do I need this headache?”, “the mere thought makes me feel bad”, for him the main impressions are tactile.
Repeat often:“Let's try to find a solution”, “I give my head for cutting off!”, “Step by step we are approaching the goal”.

The article talks about how to convince the interlocutor that you are right.

In life, it often becomes necessary to explain something to a person who is not ready to accept the right point of view. It is often necessary for those who are engaged in trade or the provision of any services to convince others of their own rightness. Persuasion skills can help you when dealing with children or when leading any group.


It will be possible to achieve recognition of the truth by a person if he takes into account your arguments. That is why it is recommended to avoid turning a reasoned discussion into ordinary disputes. When someone doubts your case, you need to find simple and understandable evidence. Get to know the person's opinion and let him or her speak calmly. To bring him to the right conclusions and understand his position, use clarifying questions. Try to explain in detail the fallacy of the opinion expressed by the person so that he can understand it. It is important to reach general conclusions, otherwise your efforts will be in vain.


Be sure to use common sense and logic, proving their own rightness. It is not necessary to prove anything with phrases that such a state of affairs has always existed. Any actions of people and their order can be explained. Many actions are explained in terms of expediency, safety and benefit. There are situations when you can prove your case with the help of documents or simple calculations. Use irrefutable arguments, and do not simply try to outshout opponents.


Behave as correctly and respectfully as possible to the interlocutor. Revealing a person’s lack of competence in any matters, do not try to insult or belittle him. By doing this, you can cause hatred and anger that is not related to the discussion. In disputes, you can not get personal and be aggressive if you need the person to admit their mistakes.


Before entering into a discussion of any issue, think about its prospects. When your opponent is able to admit you are right and change their own mind, a fruitful discussion really becomes possible. There are people who stand their ground to the end and are not going to change it. They may well remain with an erroneous opinion and will react very sharply to attempts to convey the truth.


The most difficult thing is to prove your case to people who are not ready to change their beliefs. Even the simplest arguments often have no effect on such people. That is why it is better not to waste time on hopeless disputes.

The article talks about how to convince the interlocutor that you are right.

In life, it often becomes necessary to explain something to a person who is not ready to accept the right point of view. It is often necessary for those who are engaged in trade or the provision of any services to convince others of their own rightness. Persuasion skills can help you when dealing with children or when leading any group.


It will be possible to achieve recognition of the truth by a person if he takes into account your arguments. That is why it is recommended to avoid turning a reasoned discussion into ordinary disputes. When someone doubts your case, you need to find simple and understandable evidence. Get to know the person's opinion and let him or her speak calmly. To bring him to the right conclusions and understand his position, use clarifying questions. Try to explain in detail the fallacy of the opinion expressed by the person so that he can understand it. It is important to reach general conclusions, otherwise your efforts will be in vain.


Be sure to use common sense and logic to prove yourself right. It is not necessary to prove anything with phrases that such a state of affairs has always existed. Any actions of people and their order can be explained. Many actions are explained in terms of expediency, safety and benefit. There are situations when you can prove your case with the help of documents or simple calculations. Use irrefutable arguments, and do not simply try to outshout opponents.


Behave as correctly and respectfully as possible to the interlocutor. Revealing a person’s lack of competence in any matters, do not try to insult or belittle him. By doing this, you can cause hatred and anger that is not related to the discussion. In disputes, you can not get personal and be aggressive if you need the person to admit their mistakes.


Before entering into a discussion of any issue, think about its prospects. When your opponent is able to admit you are right and change their own mind, a fruitful discussion really becomes possible. There are people who stand their ground to the end and are not going to change it. They may well remain with an erroneous opinion and will react very sharply to attempts to convey the truth.


The most difficult thing is to prove your case to people who are not ready to change their beliefs. Even the simplest arguments often have no effect on such people. That is why it is better not to waste time on hopeless disputes.

What tactics to choose in the event of a conflict and how to conduct a dispute correctly. How to prove your case and is it worth proving it at all?

Admit it: when your arguments are rejected one by one, fists clench by themselves. This situation is especially well known to men. It seems that he would have moved the obstinate opponent in the jaw. Maybe it's true, it's the most effective way how to prove you're right?

Approach the situation constructively

In fact, conflicts and disputes are inevitable, and resolving them, finding options for resolving conflicts is a whole art. Think about what is more important for you - to demonstrate your ardent temperament and remarkable physical strength or to convince the enemy to take your side? Pretty sure it's the second one. Then forget about the fists. Of course, we are not talking about situations when young people looking for adventures approach you in a dark alleyway or when hooligans offend a woman.

So, when contradictions arise, it is very important to approach the situation constructively. What does it mean? First of all, calm down, forget about emotions. If this is not possible, at least moderate your enthusiasm - impassioned speeches are convincing when you speak from the podium in front of a large crowd of admirers of your talent. If the task is to prove one's case in a dispute, it is very important to remain impassive.

Formulate for yourself what conclusion you want to bring your opponent to. Remember: only clarity of thought generates clarity of speech and, let's add, allows you to look convincing.

Strategy and tactics of conducting a conflict

Before starting a conflict, think carefully about how important it is for you to stand your ground, whether the subject of the dispute is worth your strength and nerves. Remember: it is very important to distinguish the main from the secondary. Maybe it's wiser to "slow down", to pretend that everything suits you? There are times when the surest tactic is to avoid conflict. This is especially true if you do not agree with the members of your own family in some everyday matters.

For example, in the midst of repairs, the issue of the color and pattern of wallpaper is being discussed. On the one hand, every day for many years to look at the walls that annoy you is torture worse than many. But on the other hand, a person gets used to everything. You will also get used to these wallpapers. Is your own peace of mind not dearer to you? And then, relationships with loved ones are the most valuable thing we have. Is it worth sacrificing them for the little things? In such a situation, it is hardly worth solving the question: how to prove one's case.

But now you nevertheless entered into a verbal battle, but in its midst you realized that you didn’t have enough arguments, you didn’t have much strength either, and therefore, you started all this in vain. Well, give in. But don't just give in! You are a strategist! Move back to prepared positions. Emphasize that you are doing this consciously. This position is especially advantageous if you are a man, and your opponent is a representative of the fair sex. So you will kill two birds with one stone: you will demonstrate your gallantry and chivalry, and besides, when it comes to something really important to you, you can insist on your own with full moral right.

Trade is right!

If the concession is unacceptable, and you are 300% sure that the notorious wallpaper that is so dear to the heart of your family will poison your life, offer your opponents a compromise - they allow you to choose the wallpaper, but you will not argue about something else ( bargaining, as they say, is appropriate, negotiate what mutual concessions you will make). Or you are ready to put up with the color of the wallpaper, but choose the pattern on them yourself - in a word, there are many options for a compromise.

And remember: giving in or choosing a compromise does not mean "bending." You just rationally approach the problem.

But there are situations when conformity is unacceptable. Let's say we are talking about some fundamental production problems and you see that a colleague is wrong, his position can harm the common cause. Or your child is going to a night disco, and you are sure that this cult trip will not end well for him. Or the wife decided to spend all the family savings on a new fur coat, and you feel that not today or tomorrow you will be fired, and then there will be no time for fur coats. In a word, the time has come to demonstrate resilience and steadfastness. Well, try to win the dispute by all the rules.

Conflict Management - Science and Art

To learn how to manage conflicts, you can take a training in conflictology or study the relevant literature. To get started, learn a few very simple rules- they will certainly help you.

First, proceed from the fact that the dispute is not a war, and your opponent is not a representative of the enemy army. Be neutral towards him. Give yourself the installation: I do not like the position of a colleague, not him. Suppose, if you are not happy with how a colleague has put together a presentation of your joint project, do not allow yourself to make derogatory remarks about his intelligence and professionalism. So you won’t decide anything, and you will seriously spoil the relationship.

Secondly, do not expand the subject of the dispute. If you are sure that the child should not go to a night disco, try to convince him that this particular event should be ignored. There is no need to “at the same time” reproach him, for example, for being lazy and studying poorly. Save it for later.

One more rule. Show maximum tact - this is how you disarm the enemy, remove the intensity of the struggle. Speak quietly, do not raise your voice, do not get personal. Let at first it seems to you that they don’t hear you - after a few phrases, both your opponent and the leadership will definitely listen to your reasonable, reasoned, quiet speech.

Checkmate

And finally, the last thing: the argument is like a game of chess. Try to figure out the next attack of the interlocutor and warn him by voicing a counterargument. Thus, the initiative will be in your hands - the position of the attacker is always more advantageous than the position of the defender. At the same time, it requires more knowledge and speed of reaction - all this can be learned, you just have to want to.

So, if you don’t know how to prove your case, but you are sure that it is necessary, act calmly and prudently, do not give vent to emotions, and even more so do not use your fists - this is an unconstructive approach that will lead you to a dead end. The reputation of a squabbler and brawler is acquired in no time, and it is almost impossible to get rid of it - it is practically a diagnosis.