How to make sure you need it. How to convince a person to do what you need - psychology tips

Today in the blog: How the psychology of persuading a person works, psychological methods of persuasion, how you can convince another person, or, if you like, the art of persuasion.
(see psychological games)

Greetings, dear readers of the blog, I wish you all mental health.

Psychology of human beliefs - impact on consciousness

Beliefs appeal to analytical thinking, in which the power of logic, evidence prevails and the persuasiveness of the arguments is achieved. Man's conviction psychological impact should create a person's conviction in the correctness of another and his own confidence in the correctness of the decision.

Psychology of human beliefs and the role of the speaker

The perception of information that convinces a person depends on who reports it, how much an individual or the audience as a whole trusts the source of information. Trust is the perception of a source of information as competent and reliable. There are three ways to create an impression of your competence among the listeners who convinces a person of something.

The first- start to express judgments with which the listeners agree. Thus, he will acquire a reputation as an intelligent person.

Second- be presented as a specialist in the field.

Third- speak confidently, without a shadow of a doubt.

Reliability depends on the way the persuasor speaks. People trust the speaker more when they are sure that he has no intention of convincing them of anything. Those people who defend what goes against their own interests also seem to be truthful. Confidence in the speaker and conviction in his sincerity increase if the one who convinces the person speaks quickly. Fast speech, in addition, deprives listeners of the opportunity to find counterarguments.

The attractiveness of the communicator (persuader) also affects the effectiveness of the psychology of persuading a person. The term "attractiveness" refers to several qualities. This is both the beauty of a person and the similarity with us: if the speaker has either one or the other, the information seems to the listeners more convincing.

Psychology of human beliefs and the role of the listener

People with an average level of self-esteem are most easily persuaded. Older people are more conservative in their views than younger people. At the same time, attitudes formed during adolescence and early adolescence can last a lifetime, because the impressions acquired at this age are deep and unforgettable.

In a state of strong excitement, agitation, anxiety of a person, his psychology of persuasion (susceptibility to persuasion) increases. Good mood often favors persuasion, partly because it promotes positive thinking, and partly because there is a connection between good mood and message People who are in a good mood tend to look at the world through rose-colored glasses. In this state, they make more hasty, impulsive decisions, relying, as a rule, on indirect signs of information. It is no coincidence, obviously, that many business issues, such as closing deals, are decided in a restaurant.

Conformal (easily accepting someone else's opinion) are more easily persuaded (test: Personality Theory). Women are more persuasive than men. It may be especially ineffective psychology of persuasion in relation to men with a low level of self-esteem, who are acutely worried, as it seems to them, of their uselessness, alienation, who are prone to loneliness, aggressive or suspicious, not stress-resistant.

In addition, the higher the intelligence of a person, the more critical their attitude to the proposed content, the more often they absorb information, but do not agree with it.

Psychology of human belief: logic or emotions

The psychology of persuasion can be effective, affecting a person, fearsome. Such a psychology of persuasion is more effective when they not only scare with the possible and probable negative consequences of a certain behavior, but also offer specific ways to solve the problem (for example, diseases, the picture of which is not difficult to imagine, are more frightening than diseases about which people have a very vague idea ).

However, using fear to convince and influence a person, one cannot cross a certain line when this method turns into information terror, which is often observed when advertising various drugs on radio and television. For example, we are enthusiastically told how many millions of people around the world suffer from one disease or another, how many people, according to the calculation of physicians, should get sick with the flu this winter, etc. And this is repeated not just every day, but almost every hour, moreover It does not take into account at all that there are easily suggestible people who will start inventing these diseases in themselves, run to the pharmacy and swallow medicines that are not only useless in this case, but also harmful to health.

Unfortunately, intimidation in the absence of an accurate diagnosis is often used by doctors, which goes against the first medical commandment "do no harm." This does not take into account the fact that the source of information that deprives a person of spiritual, psychological peace can be denied trust.

More convincing person is the information that comes first (primacy effect). However, if some time passes between the first and second messages, then the second message has a stronger persuasive effect, since the first has already been forgotten (the effect of novelty).

The psychology of a person's beliefs and the way information is received

It has been established that the arguments (arguments) given by another person convince us more strongly than similar arguments given to oneself. The weakest are the arguments given mentally, somewhat stronger those given aloud to ourselves, and the strongest are those brought by another, even if he does it at our request.

The psychology of persuasion. Methods:

fundamental: is a direct appeal to the interlocutor, who is immediately and openly introduced to all the information that makes up
the basis for proving the correctness of the proposed;

contradiction method: based on the identification of contradictions in the arguments of the persuaded and on a thorough check of their own arguments for consistency in order to prevent a counteroffensive;

method of "drawing conclusions": arguments are not presented all at once, but gradually, step by step, seeking agreement at each stage;

"chunks" method: the arguments of the persuaded are divided into strong (accurate), medium (controversial) and weak (erroneous); they try not to touch the first, and the main blow is applied to the latter;

ignore method: if the fact stated by the interlocutor cannot be refuted;

accent method: accents are placed on the arguments given by the interlocutor and corresponding to common interests (“you yourself say ...”);

two-way argumentation method: for greater persuasiveness, first state the advantages, and then the disadvantages of the proposed solution method
question; it is better if the interlocutor learns about the shortcomings from the persuader than from others, which will give him the impression of the impartiality of the persuader (this method is especially effective when persuading educated person, the poorly educated are better amenable to one-sided argumentation);

method "yes, but ...": used in cases where the interlocutor provides convincing evidence of the advantages of his approach to resolving the issue; first they agree with the interlocutor, then after a pause they provide evidence of the shortcomings of his approach;

apparent support method: this is a development of the previous method: the arguments of the interlocutor are not refuted, but, on the contrary, new arguments are given
in their support. Then, when he gets the impression that the persuader is well informed, counterarguments are given;

boomerang method: the interlocutor is returned his own arguments, but directed in the opposite direction; arguments "for" turn into arguments
"against".

The psychology of persuasion is effective when:

2. when it is carried out against the background of a low intensity of the persuading emotions; excitement and agitation are interpreted as uncertainty and reduce the effectiveness of his argumentation; outbursts of anger, abuse cause a negative reaction of the interlocutor;

3. when it comes to secondary issues that do not require a reorientation of needs;

4. when the persuading person himself is sure of the correctness of the proposed solution; in this case, a certain dose of inspiration, an appeal not only to the mind, but also to the emotions of the interlocutor (by “infection”) will enhance the effect of persuasion;

5. when not only one's own is offered, but also the argumentation of the persuaded is considered; this gives a better effect than repeated repetitions of one's own arguments;

6. when the argument begins with a discussion of those arguments on which it is easier to reach agreement; it is necessary to ensure that the persuaded more often agrees with the arguments: the more assent you can get, the more chances to succeed;

7. when a plan of argumentation is developed that takes into account the possible counterarguments of the opponent; this will help build the logic of the conversation, make it easier for the opponent to understand the position of the persuasive.

The psychology of persuading a person is appropriate then:

1. When they show the importance of the proposal, the possibility and ease of its implementation;

2. When they present different points of view and make an analysis of forecasts (in case of persuasion, including negative ones);

3. When the importance of the advantages of the proposal is increased and the magnitude of its disadvantages is reduced;

4. When they take into account the individual characteristics of the subject, his educational and cultural level and select the closest and most understandable arguments to him;

5. When a person is not directly told that he is wrong, in this way you can only hurt his pride - and he will do everything to defend himself, his position (it is better to say: “Perhaps I am wrong, but let's see ...”);

6. When, in order to overcome the negativism of the interlocutor, they create the illusion that the proposed idea belongs to him (for this, it is enough just to lead him to the appropriate thought and provide an opportunity to draw a conclusion); do not parry the interlocutor's argument immediately and with apparent ease, he will perceive this as disrespect for himself or as an underestimation of his problems (what torments him for a long time, others are allowed in seconds);

7. When it is not the personality of the interlocutor that is criticized in the dispute, but the arguments cited by him, which are controversial or incorrect from the point of view of the persuader (it is advisable to precede the criticism with the recognition of the correctness of the person being convinced of something, this will help to avoid his offense);

8. When they argue as clearly as possible, periodically checking whether the subject understands you correctly; arguments do not stretch, as this is usually associated with the speaker having doubts; short and simple phrases are not built according to the norms literary language, but according to the laws oral speech; pauses are used between arguments, since the flow of arguments in monologue mode dulls the attention and interest of the interlocutor;

9. When the subject is included in the discussion and decision making, as people better adopt the views in the discussion of which they take part;

10. When they oppose their point of view calmly, tactfully, without mentoring.

This concludes the review of the psychology of human persuasion, I hope that the post was useful.
I wish you all good luck!

Quite often, the success of your business depends on the ability to convince right person, influence him so that he accepts your point of view. Unfortunately, the skills and abilities of how to convince a person do not come to us "with mother's milk", we need to learn this.

Persuasion itself is the ability to act directly on a person's consciousness. The bottom line is that, through arguments, you must first achieve agreement from the interlocutor, and then transform it into an attitude that matches your goal.

Every day we encounter people who have a different point of view than ours. Our task is to convince them and transfer them to our side in order to achieve the goal. This task is not easy, but quite doable.

5 main rules

Respect human boundaries:

The ideal distance for a conversation is 20 - 30 centimeters. Coming closer, you will invade the intimate zone, thereby causing irritation in the opponent. You will not be able to convince such a person of something.

Use non-verbal means of communication.

They subconsciously dispose a person. But if used incorrectly or excessively, gestures can, on the contrary, repel. Refuse to have your arms crossed on your chest during an important conversation, keep them open, turning your palms towards the interlocutor. These gestures speak of your openness and sincerity.

Address by name.

The most pleasant word for every person is his name. A person seems to enjoy hearing how others pronounce it. Therefore, do not forget to address by name, and do it often enough (just don't overdo it).

Ask open-ended questions.

They should begin with the words: who, what, how, when. Questions like these make it hard to give detailed answers. The more a person talks, the more relaxed and "accessible" they will be.

Three yes rule.

If in first three questions the person answered "yes", then the probability that he will agree and the fourth doubles. Make sure that the decisive offer is exactly in the 4th place. This will increase your chances of a positive result.

There are many more ways to develop the ability to convince people. If you really want to achieve the result you want - act.

Methods of Persuasion

• Ask the interlocutor about the availability of time before you start persuading him. In this way, you will emphasize the importance and your respect for the opponent and his free time.
• Persuade unpredictably, beautifully and interestingly. Get interested in your speech. Psychologically, it is much more difficult to refuse an eloquent person. Don't forget to be polite. Be sure to express your gratitude after achieving the goal.
• Remember about having a smile and your charisma. So people will listen to you, thinking little about the essence of the conversation and accepting your point of view. A good mood will always help in achieving your goal.
• Before you start your persuasion, do something for the person. It will be more difficult for him to refuse you, as there will be a slight sense of guilt and duty to you.
• Try not to be obvious in your blandishments. Let the person come up with the right idea.
• Try to build communication in such a way that the person does not understand that you are persuading him to something.
• Be mentally prepared for rejection. As practice shows, if we are calm about a negative answer, then we hear positive ones more often. Think about it, because from the negative decision of some person, even if it is very important, the world will not cease to exist.
• Bet on honesty. She can disarm anyone. Sincerely admit that you just need to persuade the interlocutor for your own benefit. Many people with such openness agree and go to the aid of a person.
• Know how to stop in time. Don't become annoying and boring. So achieving the goal is almost impossible.

Almost every person should have the ability to convince people. At least in order to convince the husband to throw out the trash or dissuade his wife from buying another expensive fur coat.

Now you know how to learn how to convince people. Try these methods in practice and see how effective they are.

Each person periodically faces the need to convince a person to do what is needed. This is what happens at work. public institutions, in friendship, love and family relationships. At the same time, people do not fully understand how to persuade the interlocutor to perform the desired action, and therefore they often fail and do not get what they want. To avoid such problems, you need to master special psychological tricks to convince people, and also to be able to find an approach to different types of personality, since what is suitable in a conversation with one person is absolutely not suitable for another.

10 easy tricks to convince people to do what you want

In the matter of persuading people, one must be delicate in order to be sure of the final positive result. In that .

1. The Franklin Effect - The return of kindness. Good deeds always dispose people to each other, even if initially one of them is negatively disposed towards the other. Accordingly, a person who has received kindness is more likely to repay the same. This effect works flawlessly, you just need to be patient and continue to bend your line.
2. Ask for more. If you need, for example, money, then you can ask a friend for an initially overpriced amount. A friend will most likely refuse, but the thought will settle in his head, after a while the friend will feel guilty and offer an amount less than he was originally asked for, but close to the one that is really needed. This is how this effect works. At the same time, this technique can be applied not only in the matter of money. You need to understand the essence - overestimate the needs.
3. The magic of the name of the interlocutor. Almost everyone knows about this trick from Carnegie. But it constantly works. People love the sound of their own name spoken in dialogue with them. The more often you call a person by name, the more he becomes disposed towards you. If you combine this with a smile, then the effect will become stronger, and success will be closer.
4. Flattery. We are talking about justified flattery, otherwise it looks rude and tactless, the person will immediately decide that you need something from him. Understand who you are dealing with, and emphasize the positive aspects and qualities of a person. It is also better to understand what a person has with self-esteem. If it is high enough, then the interlocutor will simply see that you also saw his essence, and this disposes people to each other. If self-esteem is low, then flattery will not be perceived as intended, and you will lose trust and disposition.
5. Become a "mirror" of the interlocutor. If you want to achieve the location of the interlocutor, then study it, and then carefully repeat them in communication with the person. Do not overdo it, otherwise it will look like a mock. If you use this technique unobtrusively, then a person will be pleased to see his manners from the side. He will decide that you like them, and therefore he himself, and will also be imbued with sympathy.
6. Become an echo. In fact, this technique continues the previous one. The interlocutor will be pleased to hear frequently mentioned words, phrases from another person.
7. Make requests to tired people. A tired person is more likely to agree to fulfill your request simply because he does not have the extra strength to argue and explain why he does not want to fulfill it. Of course, we are talking about a request, the fulfillment of which will not entail large energy costs. This effect is best used to get permission for something.
8. Don't point people out to their mistakes. The interlocutor under any circumstances will not like it if he is pointed out to a mistake. From the point of view of psychology, you cannot do this if you do not want to become an enemy for a person, even if he is fundamentally wrong, and you know this for sure. First agree, and then carefully try to change the opponent's point of view so that he sees and admits the mistake himself.
9. nod. Nodding is perceived by a person as an approval of his words, point of view, he will consider that he is nice to you, he will be pleased to communicate with you and provide a service.
10. Learn to listen. It is very important to listen, and not to pretend to be interested. The artificiality is visible and does not cause anything but irritation, distrust and unwillingness to tell anything. And sincere interest will make you in the eyes of the interlocutor a person who can be trusted. The ability to empathize is rare, but those who have mastered it are highly valued. Therefore, if you do not have such a skill, try to learn it. At first, you will have to make an effort to delve into someone else's situation, to put yourself in the place of another person, but later, this will happen automatically. It is difficult for such people, if they need something, to refuse, their opinion is always considered.

How to convince different types of interlocutors?

It sounds trite, but all people are different, and they all behave differently in conversations. Therefore, it is important to understand that it is worth behaving differently with each type of interlocutor. We are talking about types, because from the point of view of psychology, people are divided into groups. You can try to study, focusing on the type of temperament (melancholic, phlegmatic, choleric or sanguine). To do this, you need to have professional psychological abilities, education. Therefore, it is better for a person who is not deeply immersed in psychology to look at a different classification of types of interlocutors. They are divided into aggressive (attackers), indifferent (inactive), self-confident (inflexible), indecisive (running away). This typology is simpler and clearer for ordinary people, because almost any person will be able to identify the interlocutor to one of these groups with ease.

Aggressive interlocutors talk as if they are conducting military operations - loudly and harshly, with pressure. It is possible to defeat such people with their own weapons, to exert an onslaught even more, but not everyone succeeds in this way. But there are a couple of tips that everyone can use. Imagine yourself in a fortress that cannot be destroyed. This technique is called "removal". After some time, the aggressor will realize that his attacks are meaningless and will be forced to retreat. The second method is to look, without looking away, at a point located above the bridge of the interlocutor's nose, as if at a target. At first, you will have to withstand an increased attack, but then a person will feel discomfort and fear, he will have to give up.

In order to convince and force to do something that you need, indifferent interlocutors, you need to constantly bother them with your request. They will understand that it is easier to do what you want than to endure further persuasion, because they do not care. You can try to interest a person by finding personal interests for him in performing the desired action. Also, indifferent people will make a concession if you build a strong chain of evidence for them that this case will bring useful results in the future.

It is very difficult to convince an interlocutor who is completely confident in himself. It is impossible for him to convince, persuade, etc. One of the options that you can resort to is to take it weakly, that is, to show the person that you doubt him, in such a situation he can give up and do what you need, proving its viability.

An indecisive person always doubts and hesitates, cannot give an exact answer. It will not work to persuade and argue with him, because he will initially be against an unequivocal decision. There is an option to pretend to be indecisive and ask for advice, gradually leading you to the right decision for you and the right action.

Indecision, self-doubt, constant fears… All these moments require careful study with a specialist, for example, with a hypnologist

Everyone at least once in their life communicated with a very stubborn and difficult interlocutor.

Everyone knows that the easiest way to resolve a dispute is to avoid it. However, sometimes the situation requires that you defend your point of view and convince the most stubborn interlocutor that you are right. The following 10 tips will help you with this.

1. Be careful and polite

First of all, do not play with the thin threads of a person’s pride: you should not offend him, humiliate him and become personal, so you won’t prove anything to him and he will go into a defensive position of denying everything in the world (antagonism). And it is almost impossible to convince a person in such a state.

2. Strong Arguments First

State the strongest and most compelling arguments for your position first. No need to start with trifles, immediately release heavy artillery, and only then to reinforce it with small infantry.

3. Earn trust

Try to increase your status and image: argue that you know this in practice, that you have been doing this for many years and have received concrete results or earned a lot of money from it.

4. Be smart

A powerful weapon is to say the following: “Yes, yes, you are right about this, this is a good idea, but you are completely wrong about this ...” When a person feels that his thoughts have been noticed, he can already listen to yours.

5. Rough flattery

Praise the man! Compliments, and especially unexpected compliments, will surprise and please everyone, and this is exactly what you need - to relax your opponent, to reduce his control over the situation.

6. Sequence of Consent

Rule of sequence: first tell the person what he agrees with (even if these are absolutely obvious things), and then your point of view. The likelihood of agreement in this case increases many times over.

7. Move the conversation away from dangerous topics

Avoid sharp corners and topics that can increase conflict, as well as those that are a weak point for you.

If something like this pops up, urgently turn the conversation off of this, say: “We are not talking about this now, but about ...”, “this has nothing to do with the case, only ... is relevant to the case”.

8. Notice every little thing

Watch the person's non-verbal behavior, it can reveal a lot. Non-verbal behavior is posture, gestures and facial expressions. If you notice that after some argument, the person’s eye twitched, then immediately continue to reveal this argument further and in great detail - this is your strongest argument and the person understands this and is nervous.

9. People love benefits and benefits

Convince the person that what you are saying to him is very useful and even beneficial for him, and his position, on the contrary, will not bring him anything other than “just his position”.

10. Show unexpected attentiveness and respect

Listen carefully to your interlocutor, even if he annoys you: any person will notice that they are being attentive to him, and especially someone who knows that despite the fact that you disagree with him, you are attentive to him. This way, you can stand out from other people with whom he has ever argued.

Good luck with your victory, because now we know for sure that using these tips, you will win in any dispute!

It is sad to see how a well-prepared performance is accompanied by indifferent looks and poorly concealed yawns from the audience. Yes, and in a friendly company, in the family circle, it would be nice to learn how to convince a person, how to convince relatives and friends that you are right.

Salespeople, politicians, office workers when dealing with customers, and their boss when dealing with employees – everyone needs the art of persuasion.

Speech is the main weapon

Quiet speech is subconsciously perceived as the speech of an insecure person. Fast paced speech tires the listener, he must tensely follow the meaning, trying to grasp it. slow pace, on the contrary, leads to the indifference of the audience, the listeners are distracted, thinking about something of their own.

Secrets of skillful persuasion

• A person is affected only by those arguments that he is able to perceive.
• They do not offer only "naked" facts, but consistently reveal their meaning and significance.
• First, they respond to the arguments of the interlocutor, and then express their point of view.
• They try to find areas of internal oscillation in the interlocutor and it is there that they place accents.
• They do not dismiss opposing arguments, but think over counter arguments to them (and the strongest argument is left in reserve).
• They give individual statements the form of a rhetorical or neutral question, so that, answering it, the interlocutor perceives the answer as his own opinion.
• They refrain from asking questions to which the answer "no" will follow, since the publicly expressed opinion of the interlocutor is already difficult and even useless to attack.

There is another trick that is difficult to explain from the point of view of logical meaning. How to convince the interlocutor that you are right? You need to look at a point located between his eyes and imagine the desired this moment the reaction of your counterpart.

Brevity is the sister of persuasive talent

1. Training. Here the purpose of the conversation is clarified, the initial information about the interlocutor is obtained, the tactics of persuasion are considered.
2. The beginning of a conversation, where the negative on the part of the interlocutor is neutralized, if any (squeezed posture, narrowed eyes, harsh statements) and the mood is carried out in the interests of the persuasive.
3. Implementation of the theme in the right direction.
4. End the conversation and consolidate the result.

• You need to have a clear goal and know what you need to get from the interlocutor, no matter who he is: a manager at an interview, a salesman behind a store counter, a boss or a subordinate.
• Previously, it would be nice to collect information about him and find out points of contact.
• When speaking, it is required to take into account the interests and needs of the listener and rely on them.
• To attract attention, you need to use baits - a case from own life, an anecdote, an original question - everything that will allow you to "pull the blanket over yourself."

How to increase the effectiveness of persuasion

• Being collected is easier not during hot and humid weather, but on cold, clear days.
• Around 19.00, many people become irritable and quick-tempered, it is not easy to convince them of something in this particular time period.
• It is advisable to know by name the one who needs to be convinced of something, otherwise he will get the impression that he does not matter to his opponent.
• At the beginning of the conversation, you need to push the interlocutor with a few questions, to which the person will answer “yes”, this will immediately create a benevolent atmosphere, an atmosphere of trust, ease, readiness to listen.
• The technique of “mirroring”, when the persuasive assumes a pose and copies the gestures of the interlocutor, disposes the person.
• Being attentive will help the proposal to speak out. If a person is listened to, then in response he will try to listen to the arguments of his counterpart.

Finishing the conversation, we must remember that the last phrases are remembered most strongly. Therefore, they cannot be inexpressive and fuzzy. Worthy and timely completion of the conversation will help to consolidate the interlocutor's conviction.