Real human values. Life values... What are they?

We rarely ask ourselves questions like “Why do we live”, “What is our life value”, etc. Without saying this, we are nevertheless guided by certain principles and choose the most important thing for ourselves if it is impossible to save everything. For example: “love”, “freedom” or “work” is more valuable to someone than “family”. If you don't have to choose between them, everything coexists peacefully. What if you need to make a certain choice? It will be done in favor of what is most important for a person, no matter how it may seem from the outside to be a wrong or rash decision. Of course, it is possible that over time a person will blame himself for having once made the “wrong” choice. Only he always chooses in the present, and in this present there are different values.
Are there life values that are equally important for people regardless of their age, gender and what country in the world they live in? Of course have. This is family, health, work. In addition to this, people name other values, such as: education, love, friendship, self-esteem, career, power, money, sex...
It would be interesting to compare the values of “fathers” and “children”, because their differences can interfere with mutual understanding between generations.
What do our teenagers choose, we found out their answers from 130 students of 5th and 9th grades from school No. 3 in Konakovo. 45% of respondents gave " happy family"in 1st place among other 17 life values. 85% of children included “family” among their five most important values. In 2nd place was “friendship” (58%). Although peer relationships play a critical role during adolescence, only 6% considered it honorary first place. Indeed, the family continues to play a vital role in the process of growing up as a teenager. He needs wise mentoring from adults, but does not show it and rebels against his parents, striving for communication as equals.

Not all, but only 54% of schoolchildren, consider “education” a vital value. Among fifth graders, only 45% share this opinion. An even smaller number of schoolchildren (only 18%) strive for high achievements in sports or art.
Some boys and girls build the following series of values:
Education – work, career – money, wealth. Or even “cooler”: work, career - money, wealth - fame, admiration and respect of others.
Among teenagers 10-11 and 15-16 years old, there is an equally small number of those who begin to recognize the “well-being of the state” as a value. “Science as knowledge of new things” occupies almost the very last places in the list of values (from 9th to 17th). Only one young man considers “science” a priority value for himself, along with “power” and “success”.
36% of teenagers choose the value “happiness of loved ones.”
The answers of adults (30 people were interviewed) were very diverse. Almost all the values listed in the questionnaire were named by them, with the exception of the value “food”. And for 13% of teenagers, food is worth talking about as a value. Actually, it has long been known that there is a hierarchy of needs, and the first place in this pyramid is occupied by physiological needs. These include food, clothing, sleep, and rest. A person is able to think and strive to satisfy higher needs only when his primary (physiological) needs are satisfied. No wonder there is a saying: “An empty belly is deaf to learning.”
For 13% of adults, a similar primary need is housing: their own apartment or house.
The main values of surveyed men and women aged 22 to 52 years are “family” and “health.” “Work” comes in second place. For 66% of respondents, the category “happiness of loved ones” is very important. The number of choices in favor of “love” and “friendship” is an order of magnitude lower. 26% of people name them as important life values. Education does not have a very high rating. Only 20% of adults consider education an important life value. About the same number (20-25%) choose “the well-being of the state” and strive for self-respect. For 15% of adults, respect from others is necessary. No more than 5% strive for a career or power. The attitude towards money as a kind of life value was revealed in 20% of adolescents and 10% of adults.
It turns out that the values of “fathers” and “children” are very similar, although in each specific case this is far from the case. And how exactly, you can discuss after reading this material. I wish you pleasant discoveries.

Open your hands to change but not let go of your values. (Dalai Lama)

We are faced with the need to solve some problems every day. Every day we are faced with some circumstances that test our patience and character. In this situation it is very great importance have our life values that serve as markers and allow us to make sure that we are moving along our path in the right direction. When all our words and actions are aligned with our values, life seems correct and meaningful to us, and we ourselves are confident and satisfied with ourselves. But if it happens that our behavior does not correspond to our inner beliefs, we very soon begin to feel anxiety and irritation that arise and grow within us. This unpleasant feeling tells us that not all is well in our world. Not only that, but these feelings can become a source of anxiety and unhappiness for us. And only by firmly following the instructions of our conscience can we maintain our self-esteem and feel self-sufficient and happy.

Our life values are our internal compass, against which we must check our every step along the road of life. Do you have problems with health, money, relationships? This is because our internal models of the world do not match what actually is. Is it difficult to make any decision? And this is because we are not sure of what we really want and what is really important to us. When we have certain attitudes, it is easier for us to weigh options and find the right solution - after all, a person’s life values serve as a support for him, and by following them, regardless of the circumstances, we begin to live a more fulfilling and productive life.

What might be the main thing for you?

It is very important to decide what is most important to you, because life values help shape character and control our actions, desires and decisions. Of course different people internal attitudes are different: for one, what is most important is what seems not so important for another, and for a third, the main guideline in life in general differs from what is important for both the first and the second. And yet we can list the criteria most often mentioned by different people, which are of paramount importance in their lives and should have special significance for each person. So, what could be the values in life?

Love is probably the very first thing that almost every one of us will name. This is an important personal value that deserves special place in the life of every person. And here we are talking not only about romantic feelings, because this is not the only type of love that a person is capable of experiencing. The same way you love your loved ones and friends, you can love other people. Love for people gives rise to compassion, and this is another thing we must say when we list the basic values of life. When we come to compassion, we begin to see the best in people, while they see the best in us.
The understanding that every person needs. How often can you see people who hold in their hearts anger and resentment towards others, the reasons for whose actions they do not want to understand. Anger makes them blind and alienates them from others. If you are ready to understand and accept people and the circumstances that force them to act one way or another, you will gain control over the situation and will be able to find a common language with everyone.
Respect for people is also a very important criterion. It not only allows us to find inspiration in best qualities others, but also allows you to better see and try to correct your shortcomings. Nobody's perfect; and respect is the only way we can notice the positive in others and strive to improve ourselves. And, like many other values in life, respect tends to be reflected from other people to you - the more respect you have for others, the more respect they show for you.
Discipline, which many, unfortunately, confuse with routine and try to avoid it. Routine means that we are sadly doing something very monotonous; Discipline is when a person acts even with some degree of fun, but the main thing that worries him is the complete fulfillment of his duties. A disciplined and responsible person will always respect his own and other people’s time, therefore one of his characteristic features You can call it punctuality.
Faith in others. It can also extend to your attitude towards yourself. It is your determination that can lift a person if he has fallen. His self-doubt in difficult times can be destroyed by your faith in him. And what’s interesting is that this faith is contagious - the more you believe in others, the more your faith in yourself strengthens.
Gratitude. When you take just a second to say “thank you,” expressing your appreciation for another, you ignite a huge fire of friendliness and gratitude in return for that person. It is gratitude that helps us see and feel the abundance of joy that our lives are generous with.
Forgiveness. The ability to forgive frees us from the pain and anger that keep us stuck in the past. When you forgive, you let go of the hurt and move forward with your life.
Friendship. Friends support us, and they are always ready to help with advice if we ask them for it. Friends serve us as support in difficulties and are always with us in joy.
Hope. This is exactly the fuel that warms us when we are tired and cannot see the road. Hope assures us that sometimes the question is not “if” it will come true, but “when” it will happen.
Optimism. There is an expression: “If you get a lemon, make lemonade out of it!” This is a very valuable quality - to be able to see the good even where it is very difficult to see. People with this quality always have less bad in life than good. Or rather, bad things don’t happen - because they know how to resist them.
Patience is a value that creates a better state of mind that is more effective for decision making.
Tolerance. There are people with whom we sometimes don't want to deal. But instead of showing them your contempt, it is better to show tolerance - this is the best and worthy alternative.
Honesty. This isn't even worth discussing. And don’t be surprised that we name this criterion at the very end - this is because honesty is the foundation on which all other values in life stand, no matter what they are. Honesty isn't just about admitting you made a mistake at work or telling your spouse the truth about where you spent money on their card. Honesty is admitting to yourself that you are not perfect. This the only way, with which you can influence your life to change it for the better.

How to set and use your main priorities?

There are very effective method define your values, and it is as follows:

Make a list of what seems most important to you in your life - so important that you cannot be happy without it. Your initial list may be very long - that's okay, you'll adjust it later.
Review your list and ask yourself: Is this really something I can’t live happily without? Without this, will my life really seem unbearable? If there is any doubt, remove it from your list.
Repeat this process until your list is reduced to six to ten values. Now you have a list of the most important life values for you. Based on them, you can go through life feeling important and satisfied in everything you do.

Your personal values are made up of everything that has happened in your life, and they include many various influences: the influence of your parents and family, attitude towards religion, your education, artistic preferences, your circle of friends and many other factors on which the life experience and prevailing worldview of each person depends. Effective people always recognize and take into account this impact environment; they develop a clear, clear, and meaningful “set” of beliefs and priorities. How do you proceed further if you can consider yourself an established person with a coherent value system?

You demonstrate and model your priorities in your personal and professional behavior, when making important decisions and during interpersonal interactions.
You can rely on your values in the family, building a relationship with your husband and raising children.
You adjust and install life goals, based on your main personality criteria.

Therefore, choose exactly those meanings that are truly most important to you, the meanings that define your character. They will be one of the most powerful tools available to you to help you become who you want to be. It is a tool for achieving your goals and dreams, a tool for influencing other people and the reality around you. Don't miss your opportunity!

For each of us, life values are the fundamental guideline in various types activities. They promote personal growth, creation comfortable life, formation creative thinking etc. Everything is achieved by a person thanks to the hierarchy of values he has built, which determines what priorities come first. This is the measure of human happiness.

Some people put their family first, others cannot imagine their well-being without others, and others devote themselves to interests and hobbies. Some representatives of humanity, refusing material wealth, see their happiness only in spiritual self-improvement. In general, life values are goals and priorities that, controlling a person’s life, determine his essence. The choice of fundamental guidelines is carried out by people depending on the level of development of their consciousness. However, either material should not be an extreme, as this will inevitably lead to excessive materialization or, conversely, illusoryness. Therefore, it is very important to achieve balance in the system life priorities.

There are universal human values that are equally important for all people. Each era sets its own system of priorities for the individual. IN modern society values include health, family, work and education. The implementation of priorities that are significant to a person is very important for his recognition and self-affirmation.

Beginning to form in the family, life values subsequently determine the image and their worldview. By analyzing them, you can determine scarcity or wealth inner world person, the diversity of his interests and individuality. In the formation of a person’s value systems, a significant role is played by his close environment (friends, family), religious views, as well as national and social traditions.

The basics of life can be divided into several groups:

Family. Involves long-term relationships (with parents, children, marriage partner, loved ones and friends) that are viewed as valuable. Thanks to the improvement of a person in a couple, his personal growth occurs more effectively. And warm relationships with family allow you to feel the fullness of happiness.
Career. It involves targeted actions aimed at achieving a certain goal, which opens up new opportunities and spheres of influence for a person.
Favourite buisness. Helps reveal the inner world of a person. With a reasonably constructed hierarchy life guidelines, favorite pastime, hobby and many other interests will help strengthen the state of spiritual harmony and happiness.
Money, comfort. An orderly life is considered as a value that requires certain financial costs.
Education. Improving professional skills contributes to personal development and represents a certain value. Thanks to the acquisition of certain knowledge and skills, it is possible to perform high-quality and competent work, career.
Health and beauty. Body values (fit figure, developed muscles, well-groomed skin) are considered an important component healthy image life, requiring systematic training.
Personal growth. Includes certain social and psychological skills that contribute to the formation of maturity in views, attention to others, the manifestation of wisdom, and control of one’s feelings and emotions.

Thus, life values are a person’s way of self-affirmation, regulating his behavior.

What is a sense of life? What is truly valuable in life? What is my Purpose?

These are the main questions we are trying to answer.

Probably people who have come face to face with their death in their lives know the answers to these questions.

Reading about people who found out they were going to die very soon, or those who experienced clinical death, you find out that they have changed their life priorities.

I found some interesting “research” on the Internet. Here is collected data on the topic “what do people regret before they die?” There are thoughts of great sages about this. And this is a list of five true values in the life of every person.

“If it weren’t for my illness, I would never have thought about how wonderful life is.” (Randy Pausch "The Last Lecture") .

1. IDENTITY

Everything in life has its purpose. Every living creature on the planet has its own mission. And each of us has our own role. By realizing our unique talents and abilities, we gain happiness and wealth. The path to our uniqueness and mission lies through our desires and dreams since childhood.

"Individuality - highest value in the world" (Osho).

One woman (Bronnie Vee) worked for many years in a hospice where her job was to provide relief. state of mind dying patients. From her observations, she found that the most common regret people have before death is the regret that they did not have the courage to live the life that was right for them, and not the life that others expected of them. Her patients regretted that they never realized many of their dreams. And only at the end of the journey did they realize that this was only a consequence of the choice they made.

Make a list of your talents and abilities, as well as a list of your favorite things to do in which they are expressed. This is how you will find your unique talents. Use them to serve others. To do this, ask yourself as often as possible: “What can I do to help you?(to the world, to the people I come into contact with)?How can I serve?»

Feel free to quit your unloved job! Don't be afraid of poverty, failures and mistakes! Trust yourself and don't worry about the opinions of others. Always believe that God will take care of you. It’s better to take a risk once than to later regret that you lived a dull and mediocre life, “killing yourself” at a job you don’t like, to the detriment of yourself and your loved ones.

Always remember that you are unique and your mission is to give the maximum of your uniqueness to the world. Only then will you find true happiness. This is what God intended.

“Discover your divinity, find your unique talent, and you can create any wealth you want.”(Deepak Chopra).

2. SELF-DISCOVERY AND SPIRITUAL GROWTH

Stop being an animal!..

Of course, we need to satisfy physiological needs, but only in order to develop spiritually. People are mostly chasing material well-being and are concerned primarily with things, and not with the soul. Then, the primary meaning and purpose of human life is to realize that he is a spiritual being and, in fact, he does not need anything material.

"We are not human beings who receive spiritual experiences from time to time. We are spiritual beings who have human experiences from time to time."(Deepak Chopra).

Realize God within you. Man is a transitional being from animal to spiritual. And each of us has the resources to make this transition. Practice the “Be” state more often, when you have no thoughts and don’t need anything, when you simply experience life and enjoy its fullness. The state “here and now” is already a spiritual experience.

“There are people among us - not many, but there are - who understand that you need to start saving money for old age while it is far away, so that a certain amount has time to accumulate... So why not at the same time take care of what is more important money, about the soul?( Eugene O'Kelly, Chasing the Fleeing Light »).

And there is no need to improve yourself, you are already perfect, because you are spiritual beings. Engage in self-discovery...

« To know yourself as well as possible in order to be as great as possible for the world is the most important task person» (Robin Sharma).

Even when you achieve your goals, true success is not associated with the achievement, but with the changes in consciousness that occur as an inevitable consequence of your progress towards these goals. It's not about achieving goals, but about what happens to you in the process of achieving it.

3. OPENNESS

How often, in the face of death, people regret that they never had the courage to express love to their family and friends! They regret that they often suppressed their emotions and feelings because they were afraid of how others would react. They regret not allowing themselves to be happier. Only at the end of the journey did they realize that being happy or not was a matter of choice. Every moment we choose a reaction to a particular situation, and each time we interpret events in our own way. Be carefull! Watch your choice every moment...

« What goes around comes around» (folk wisdom).

What do you need to do to become more open?

1) Give free rein to your emotions and feelings.

Ride the coolest ride and scream to your heart's content; share your feelings with other people; become an optimist - rejoice, laugh, have fun, no matter what.

2) Accept yourself and life as it is.

Allow yourself to be who you are and let events happen on their own. Your task is to dream, move and observe what miracles life brings to you. And if something doesn’t work out the way you wanted, then it will be even better. Just relax and have fun.

« I'm dying and having fun. And I'm going to have fun every day I have» (Randy Pausch "The Last Lecture")

4. LOVE

It’s sad, but many people only in the face of death realize how little love there was in their lives, how little they rejoiced and enjoyed the simple joys of life. The world has presented us with so many miracles! But we're too busy. We cannot take our eyes off our plans and pressing problems to look at these gifts and enjoy them.

“Love is food for the soul. Love is for the soul what food is for the body. Without food the body is weak, without love the soul is weak."(Osho).

Most The best way raising a wave of love in your body is gratitude. Start thanking God for everything he gives you every moment: for this food and roof over your head; for this communication; for this clear sky; for everything you see and receive. And when you catch yourself getting irritated, immediately ask yourself: “ Why should I be grateful now? The answer will come from the heart, and believe me, it will inspire you.

Love is the energy from which the world is woven. Become a missionary of love! Give people compliments; charge everything you touch with love; give more than you receive... and move through life from your heart, not your head. It is this that will tell you the most correct path.

“A path without a heart is never joyful. Just to get there you have to work hard. On the contrary, the path that has a heart is always easy; It doesn't take much effort to love him."(Carlos Castaneda).

5. RELATIONSHIPS

When life passes and in our daily worries we often lose sight of our family and friends, at the end of the journey we will feel devastation, deep sadness and longing...

Spend time with those you love and appreciate as often as possible. They are the most precious thing you have. Always be open to communication and meeting new people, it’s enriching. Give people your attention and admiration as often as possible - it will all come back to you. Help joyfully and selflessly, give and just as joyfully accept gifts from others.

“Bliss is also contagious, like any disease. If you help others be happy, by and large you help yourself be happy."(Osho).

So what will you regret at the end of your journey?

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We continue the New Year's Preparatory Training. And today we have an unscheduled article, which makes it even more useful. In yesterday’s article “Where Are You Coming?” we talked about how important it is to ask questions about the correct choice of your path, your life values and priorities.

Today you will have an exercise to determine what is most valuable to you. But first, let's define what it is -life values.

Life values - these are ideals, concepts, faith, beliefs, principles, aspirations and other abstract aspects that are most significant to you. These values serve as guidelines in life, standards, criteria for the quality of life and the “correctness” of decisions and actions.

For example. Family, children, love, health, self-development, comfort and safety, well-being, career, travel or vacation with loved ones - these are the very values on which we happily spend time, energy, and resources.

These values may be different for different people:

For example, for one person the most valuable thing is self-development, learning, learning new things. If you choose between an interesting seminar and a vacation trip, this person definitely chooses the seminar. And even if he is on vacation, he will find a way to connect to the Internet during the seminar.

For many of us, the most valuable thing is family. A person with such a priority will easily refuse additional work and additional income just to spend more time with his family. And if you need to improve relationships in the family, strengthen connections, breathe former freshness into relationships or provide financial stability- such a person will do everything to learn to achieve what the family lacks.

For some, loneliness is comfort and the highest good. Well, this makes it easier for a person to work, think, live and relax. therefore, he will go on vacation to a place where he will not be found, where they speak a different language, or where there are very few people at all, but a lot of nature. This person would prefer remote work office, and for himself will choose individual consultations (coaching) - instead of large seminars.

This is neither good nor bad, this is normal, there is no comparison here. We can’t say that green is good and wet is bad. It's just that everyone is different and has different needs.

It's good when you know your needs. In this case, you have clear guidelines in life, you know who you are, where you are going and why you need it. When you know your path, you focus on the movement and are not distracted by extraneous factors and doubts.

Your desires and goals are the “material” embodiment of your life values, their implementation in this world, in your life

Where do life values come from?

From the Heart - each Soul comes into the world to realize its tasks, to go through its own individual path. Therefore, everyone has their own values.

From the parental family- this is your upbringing. If your parents valued family and loved ones, then this will be important and valuable for you too.

From life experience - each of us has a unique experience. And from this experience we draw conclusions. For example, if you had to make great efforts to restore your health, then it will be very valuable to you, and your behavior will also change - to prevent a recurrence.

Three reasons why I tell you about life values.

1. Values are your guidelines in life.If you understand what is important to you, then it is easy for you to make a choice. Doubts ruin your nerves, your mood and take up a lot of your time.

2. Values are the best motivation.If you really value health, then you will not need to specifically motivate yourself in any other way to do it regularly. You just need to remind yourself of your values sometimes.

3. Set the right, your own goals.There is a lot of information noise around us. Society imposes its rules of the game, its tastes and decisions on you - for its own benefit, not yours. But if you know your life values, you will receive inner support, a core, and easily determine what is right for you personally.

Today, all participants in the Preparatory Training will have an exercise on this topic.The exercise is called “The most valuable thing for me” - in the evening a letter with the exercise is waiting for you in your mailbox. And by the way, do you remember that this evening I will also send you the “Testing for Truth” meditation?

I remind you. Only participants of the preparatory training will receive letters with the exercise and meditation. Therefore, if you have not signed up yet, join us by filling out the form below.

Reiki initiation is not necessary.
Participation in the Preparatory Training and Seminar is free.
If you have already registered, you do not need to register again. You will receive all materials.

Preparatory New Year's training

Preparatory New Year's training

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