How to learn not to think badly about people. If bad thoughts take over

24.02.2017

Think about what you want and don't think about what you don't want, then dreams will come true.

Everything is correct.

And many of you have heard these words repeatedly.

But how can this principle be applied in practice?

How not to think about the bad?

And how to learn to think only about what you want to see in your life?

Attention! You have probably heard that thoughts shape our reality. With the power of thought, you can change the present, the future, and sometimes the past. But before starting the practice,

I decided to dedicate today's article to examples from our Everyday life, so that in these scenes you see yourself and understand how to learn to think only about what you want.

The influence of thoughts on human life

The influence of thoughts on human life is simply enormous.

In fact, our every thought creates reality.

To learn more about how our thoughts affect our lives, see the video

And if we see how the same negative circumstances come into our lives again and again, it means that we attract them ourselves, thinking about them day after day.

The influence of negative thoughts can be easily seen in the appearance of undesirable circumstances that upset you.

Pay special attention to those circumstances that happen again and again, like a broken record. The repetition of the same event clearly indicates that you have a lot of negative thoughts about this and you think them often.

Let me give you an example of the influence of thoughts on relationships.

Suppose a person once again fails in a love relationship.

He breaks up with a man he met not for a long time. And he has almost a dozen such relationships, lasting for a couple of months.

The very situation of the gap is a very unpleasant event for this person. He doesn't want that.

He ideally dreams of a good partner and a long, strong relationship.

But let's see what thoughts led him to break up again.

Immediately after the breakup, there is a reaction that in itself leads to a repetition of the same thing in the future:

I can't build normal relationships. I am forever alone. Not a single person suits me, everyone needs something, and I don’t understand what it is. What do they all need?

It was still good, love, why does a person begin to behave in an incomprehensible way? Why build something out of yourself? Every time the same normal person impossible to find.

I can't build relationships. I find it easier to be alone.

And then the Universe, shrugging its shoulders, answers, “Well, so be it!”

How to stop thinking about the bad?

How to get out of the vicious cycle of repetitive events?

First, you need to change the reaction.

Secondly, change your thoughts to those that you want to see in your life.

Knowing about the power of thought and the influence of thoughts on life, a person must, by an effort of will, respond correctly, without negativity, for example, like this:

It didn't work this time, it will work next time. So my destiny is another person. So, there is my soulmate and soon I will meet her.

My next love will be more successful. I would like my loved one to understand and support me, and it would be easy and simple to communicate with him.

And at the same time, do not mentally wash the bones of the former partner and do not count all of his negative sides character. Do not remember how horribly he acted and how ugly he reacted ...

These thoughts should be discarded and start thinking about good qualities ah future partner. That is, to think about what is not yet. And do it on purpose to make it appear.

Changing thoughts!

This is done at first by an effort of will. If you are used to letting your mind go free, then in order to fulfill your desires and get what you want in your life, you need to tame it.

Your mind must work for you.

Mind, thoughts - build your world, shape your reality.

Where there is thought, there is reality.

If you want to choose for yourself what will happen in your reality, then you need to direct your thoughts in the right direction by an effort of will.

This is the only way to get out of the vicious circle of recurring negative events.

First: a positive reaction. Second: thoughts about what I would like to have ideally.

The influence of thoughts on family relationships

The next example of the influence of thoughts on relationships I want to dedicate to people who are already in strong relationships.

Often we get angry at our soul mates or think that our partner is very bad at something.

In the head of a married lady ironing her husband's shirts on Sunday lunch, one can hear the following thoughts:

He again yesterday did not nail this shelf. He is an absolute lazy person, he can't do anything. How tired I am of always reminding him. Why did I get such a husband? And these shirts can be thrown out a month after purchase. How can you treat things like that. Comes and throws on the floor. Slut!

As we can see, this is a standard “complaint” about life, which we often hear in our heads ourselves.

Who is complaining.

But the essence is the same: we think about what we DO NOT want to see in our lives.

How not to think about the bad?

Just remember that your every daily thought should be ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT.

And then the thoughts of this lady should change to these:

My husband, of course, is not perfect, but in general he is very caring.

I love it so much when he cooks dinner himself sometimes.

I also like how carefully he drives the car. He provides us and it is worth appreciating. In general, if you look at it, my husband is real gold.

And so, the more positive a woman finds in her husband, the more good qualities will appear in him.

And you can not only look for the positive, you can shape it.

For example:

My husband is very careful with his clothes and he has enough shirts for a whole year.

Let it not be so now. But when did that stop a real wizard?

We create our own reality.

We are able to create something that has not yet been.

We are able to manifest another sector of reality. Another variant.

And if you're ready to start the change - join my

How do our thoughts affect the body?

Our thoughts affect our body in a direct way.

I have noticed from my own experience that if you constantly think that an extra dessert will have a bad effect on the figure, then it will be so.

You will get fat not by the day, but by the hour.

And all these standard thoughts will be to blame.

But you can think differently...

The French, whose culture is quite supportive of wine, smoking, cakes (solid saxap!) and savory sauces (solid cholesterol!), consume all this and live to a ripe old age, remaining healthy and slim.

Much research has been done in an attempt to understand their "secret", because, according to modern theories, a person needs to have a coronary bypass almost after every visit to the pastry shop.

However, there is no secret. It's all about the mood. The French eat with pleasure and without guilt.

You can make it a rule for yourself: every time you eat something sweet, say to yourself:

I am getting slimmer and prettier every day.

I can eat whatever I want, I'm still slimmer.

I have a very fast metabolism.

A heavy dinner is digested very quickly and goes to building muscles.

Everything depends on you.

Get out of your head all those thoughts and opinions that society inspires you.

Think only about what you want. You are entitled to it.

If you want to have beautiful body So say to yourself, looking in the mirror:

I have a gorgeous beautiful body.

Let at first it will seem to you that this is a cruel lie.

After some time, reality will change, and you will see in the mirror what you thought about daily.

The influence of thoughts on fate

What do you think about your destiny?

Listen, whatever you think of her, she will be as you imagine her in your thoughts.

Are you afraid to repeat the fate of your older relatives? As long as you are afraid, you choose the negative option.

To be afraid to get = to think about what you do NOT want.

My father was an alcoholic, so I have these genes. I can become like that too... I don't want to. I'm scared.

These thoughts are very dangerous, if this happened to you, replace them with new ones:

I have good genes. My father was very smart, read a lot, despite his problem, was a respected person.

I will take only his most positive qualities, and my fate will be beautiful.

There is only one way to overcome a negative scenario: stop thinking about it, and start thinking about a new desired scenario.

Replace unwanted thoughts with desirable ones.

How to do it? How not to think about the bad?

If you know for sure that your bad negative thoughts affect your life, you will never be able to calmly think about the bad “for your pleasure”.

We are used to thinking about the bad, we do it out of habit. Because everyone around them thinks it's normal. Complaining, making claims, being afraid, judging in your mind - all this is the norm.

No one has told us since childhood how this adversely affects our lives.

Materials are just beginning to appear, articles are being published, articles are being written, videos are being shot that you need to think only about what you want.

Many underestimate the power of thoughts in their lives. But it is thoughts that can change consciousness, are able to attract both good events, and bad ones. Scientists who have studied in detail the question of the influence of our thoughts have come to an unequivocal conclusion: those who think positively attract positive events into their lives. Conversely, negative thoughts attract a series of failures.

When everything is good in life, it seems that it is very easy to stop worrying and winding yourself up, and you can do it at any moment. But as soon as something unpleasant happens and negative thoughts begin to take possession of a person, getting rid of them already seems like overwork. So is it really easy to get rid of bad thoughts or difficult? No one will give a definite answer to this question. Since each person has his own psychological characteristics. And for someone it is really very simple, but someone has to put in a lot of effort.

5 Steps to Overcome Negative Thoughts

In order to stop thinking about the bad and cheating yourself, any person will have to overcome the following 5 stages. Due to different psychological characteristics and different perceptions of the world all 5 stages different people are perceived differently. To some, some steps may seem so easy that they will pass almost unnoticed. But for other people, this same stage can cause a lot of difficulties.

1. Identification of the cause

negative thoughts do not arise without reason. Before you start fighting them, you need to find out the root cause of their appearance. Most often, these thoughts are caused by fear. It could be the fear of losing a job, losing loved one, fear of loneliness, fear of misunderstanding and so on. Once the cause is identified, it will become much easier to deal with bad thoughts. A person is always afraid and winds himself up in front of the unknown, in front of an unknown enemy, in front of an unknown disease. That same secret causes a lot of fear in a person. The human psyche is so arranged that people tend to endow the unknown with great power. An unknown rival always seems stronger, an unknown disease is more terrible, and an unknown grief is more tragic.

1. Analysis

After identifying the cause of the appearance of bad thoughts, it is necessary to analyze whether everything is really so scary or is it just an exaggeration. Most of the time, people screw themselves up for no reason. Therefore, you need to carefully consider the current situation, which is haunting. During the analysis it is very important to distance yourself from the problem emotionally.

Of course, you can try to switch your attention to positive thoughts and just distract yourself from negative thoughts, but this will not solve the problem, and bad thoughts will return again and again. And even if the problem is resolved, negative thinking will resume, but on a different basis. Therefore, it is very important to learn not to move away from the problem, but to deal with it. negative thinking and twisting.

Order in thoughts - order in life

Pay attention to what thoughts are spinning in your head. What thoughts occupy all brain activity. You may be busy with work, but mentally prepare dinner and think over what products you need to buy. In this case, the efficiency of work will be low. In order to put things in order in your life, to understand how to stop winding yourself up with bad thoughts, you need to put things in order in your thoughts, sort everything out. Learn not to distract yourself with extraneous thoughts from the work that you are busy with at the moment.

If, for example, thoughts about cooking dinner do not give you rest during work, then take a few minutes to distract yourself, make a list of products, sequence of actions and be sure to write it all down on paper, and then such thoughts will stop bothering you. Many underestimate the process of writing on paper. Even with a perfect memory, this is necessary. Since on a subconscious level it is very closely connected with thought processes. When there is order in your thoughts, and you control what and when you think, then you will wind yourself up much less. Since it is you who will lead your thoughts, and not they you.

1. Separate free time for reflection

The human brain is constantly working, thought processes occur every fraction of a second. It is impossible to stop the thought process, it can only be switched and directed. But in order to avoid stress and nervous breakdowns You definitely need rest, not only physical, but also moral. And our brain also needs rest. No, this does not mean that he needs to stop thinking for a while. But sometimes our subconscious needs to just dream, to think not about work and life.

Ideally, you should plan your walks on fresh air, without haste. Let it be a little time, even 10 minutes a day will be enough. At this time, try to enjoy the beauty of nature, do not burden yourself with serious thoughts, listen to your mind.

1. Surround yourself with positivity

In life, not only your positive thinking matters, but also the atmosphere around you. Influencing the atmosphere is quite simple. For example, if we are talking about work, then try to notice something good in each of your colleagues, even if it is very difficult to do. Try to be attentive, pay attention to the mood of the people around you, pay attention to new clothes or a new hairstyle. Don't miss an opportunity to give a sincere compliment or treat someone to coffee. Try to change your attitude towards others. And regardless of their attitude towards you, the atmosphere and energy around you will change. Try to tell close people as many sincere, pleasant words as possible.

Following these tips, you will understand how to stop thinking about the bad and winding yourself up. .

Thoughts are material! And when we think about the bad, we amplify the bad in our lives. The law of attraction is at work here. What we scroll through in our minds is embodied. Therefore, it is important to learn how to keep the right thoughts in your mind that will program a positive future.

How to do it? It is important to track your thoughts and find a replacement for them. For example, you often find yourself thinking that you are a loser during the day. And from this your mood deteriorates and actions are blocked.

Then the pill for this negative thought program is the thought that you are a winner, that you respect yourself for it! Whenever you catch yourself thinking about the bad, switch to your new good beliefs! And it will help you change your thinking in a good direction.

What to do in order not to think about the bad

Here are some more ideas:

1. When negativity overwhelms you, sit down and start writing it down on paper. Write down everything that bothers you. Do this until the bad thoughts run out. Then tear up the leaf. And on the new one, start writing down good thoughts, create good scripts.

2. Learning to stop the internal dialogue. For this you can use eg. And after 20 minutes of this practice, feel free to program your mind with new positive ideas.

3. Switch to gratitude. Start saying or writing down all the good things you are grateful for. This will help to change the wave and tune in to good vibrations.

4. If you are surrounded negative people get away from them. It is often difficult to disengage from everyone and not absorb the worst. So get away from the negative. Take a walk. One hour of walking is a great cure for negative thoughts!

5. Get some exercise. They help to stop thinking about the bad.

Thoughts have properties to be realized, and therefore it is worth surrounding yourself only with positive things, fantasies and dreams. In fact, sometimes it is not so easy to do this. To teach you to tune in to a good wave, excluding all the bad ones, there is a chance to improve your life a little.

Ways not to think about the bad

In any situation, you must be determined to end it positively.. You should not expect anything, do not hope, otherwise frustration cannot be avoided. You can do this by lowering the importance of the event in your head. You should always have a back up plan. For example, you started dating your chosen one, but you are afraid of losing him, there are some fears that you will not be able to find another. With these thoughts, you start checking the phone, social networks your boyfriend. These checks will be devastating, causing your destinies to diverge. But, if you are confident in yourself that you can date other men, then you will not spy and be jealous of a guy. This is the backup plan!

You should not think to yourself that this or that person who offended you once did it on purpose in order to hurt you to the quick. If you feel a lack of attention, it will say that this person means something to you. Therefore, your resentment in many cases may be unfounded. In such a situation, a sense of humility will help. This can take a lot of time, sooner or later, you will come to terms with the situation. As a rule, this will happen when your emotions have cooled down.

Most of us think about the bad, remembering the past. There is even a category of people living in the past. They are unable to let go of resentment, not to remember the negative, and therefore imagine their future in a similar scenario. Thoughts are born in my head to make a trick, to come up with a scenario for the development of a situation with a negative outcome even before it happened.

You don't have to remember the past turn your attention to the present. Every new day tomorrow will be the past, so why not make your past positive. Understand yourself why you are returning to the past, look for a way out.

Most of the worries turn out to be simply in vain, and therefore it is easier to relate to everything, without exaggerating their significance.

Unnecessary anxieties that provoke thoughts of the bad

1. Cash and financial position. Even if you do not complain about the lack of these benefits, there is a sense of apprehension that they will soon run out. In pursuit of money, our soul becomes callous, filling its empty shelves with depression. You can't get richer than everyone!
2. Aging and death. Natural youth or achieved by cosmetic efforts does not go out of fashion. But you should not worry in advance that at the age of 25 you have your first wrinkle, gray hair. This is our nature, you can’t change this, you can just start taking better care of yourself, change your hairstyle.
3. Lifestyle. We all want to live perfectly, but do not forget - we are individuals, you can not follow someone crazy, losing your individuality. So you steal your minutes of life, thinking about how badly you live. You shouldn't be worried about this.
4. Illnesses, accidents. People are suspicious, having caught a cold, we begin to invent other ailments for ourselves, reading on the Internet a lot of similar symptoms with other diseases. But you need to rely on a doctor, because he is much more experienced in this area than you are. And during the period when you are sick, you need to surround yourself with positive thoughts, and not aggravate your situation.
5. information flow. Try to keep abreast of the news, but more positive, otherwise every explosion from fireworks will frighten you with the onset of military armies. Be aware of the news, but do not live it, do not worry that you suddenly did not read something, did not see it, did not understand it.

Avoidance of negative thoughts

The most banal way is to turn off the right hemisphere and think with the left. To do this, you just need to pick up a rosary or a chain. Take the item of your choice right hand and twist it for 5-10 minutes. After this time, the left hemisphere will begin to work, now you can tune in to positive thinking faster. You can think about anything you like - about a hedgehog in the fog, funny situations, the sea. The main thing is that thoughts can set you on a positive wave.

To relieve unnecessary excitement, it is recommended to conduct a small set of exercises. When you detect an approaching feeling of panic, anxiety, you need to distract your brain - for this, do 20 squats. If you are not in the right place to squat, you can quickly open and close your fists. It is recommended to wash your face with cool water, look at yourself in the mirror and relax a bit. If you are at home, it will be great to take a cool shower, plunging completely with your head.

In fact, in order to learn how to control your thoughts, it will take a lot of time to control yourself. Sometimes, this can only be achieved over the years. But by developing the skill, you can protect yourself from vain experiences and nervous breakdowns.

Think about it, there may be a lot of arguments in favor of the fact that the outcome is not so bad as you thought. Connect your logic, keep the situation under control. If you can find at least a couple of positive moments, you will notice how bad thoughts cease to be such.

Experts also advise you to go on a trip with your loved one, turn your vacation into a fairy tale. For example, a great option to go to Georgia, to the mountains, climbing Gergeti, all bad thoughts will go away.

well and most best method- fall in love. Just worry about the fact that you will be abandoned, feelings will pass and there is no need for other reasons. The magical feeling of falling in love is famous for the fact that it is completely independent of our wishes, alien to various worries. If you have a close friend with positive thinking, share your thoughts with her, perhaps she will help you laugh together at your experiences, and the panic will recede.

Remember that our thoughts are only a game of imagination, and therefore it is not a fact that this game will become a reality. Then the question arises: “Why ruin your life?”.

Pay attention to your body when you are overwhelmed by negative emotions. Look at your face: the corners of your mouth are lowered, your forehead is furrowed. How do you keep your back? Are you slouching?

If you have a hotbed of negative thoughts in your head, your body behaves accordingly. And when such thoughts become constant, it gets used to such a situation. You have probably seen people with a mask of contempt or anger on their face, which persists in any situation.

This also works in reverse side: a pinched body position and a frowning face create no better mood. So your first step in getting rid of bad thoughts is to change your posture and facial expressions. Straighten your back and straighten your shoulders. Feel where tension has accumulated in your body, and relax, smile. Within a few moments you will feel that the emotional background is changing.

2. Discuss your feelings

Some people tell everyone about their problems and even savor it. Others keep everything in themselves to the last, and then get a nervous breakdown.

If you have any left negative emotions, which do not go away, try to tell your loved ones about it. By putting into words, you give shape to emotions and put them into perspective. After the conversation, you will be surprised how stupid it was to worry about the voiced occasion, and the negative will disappear.

3. Stop the flow of thoughts

If a thousand thoughts rush through your head in one minute, it is difficult to decide something for yourself and somehow control it. If you are stuck on the negative, try not to think about anything at all for just one minute. By paying attention to what is going on in your head and what thoughts dominate there, you can change the situation.

4. Change the wording

It is amazing how much the tone of a whole phrase or thought changes from a slight change in wording. Compare: "I'm going through a difficult period in my life, I have problems" and "I'm going through a period of changes in my life, I'm looking for better solutions." The underlying data hasn't changed, just the problems have been called changes. But who's to say it's not true?

5. Get creative

When negative thoughts attack you, you can spend some time getting creative. It works just like a conversation, with the exception that you don't have to annoy anyone with your problems. You can do anything: write prose or poetry, draw with a pencil or paint. , finally.

A splash of emotions through creativity is a kind of art therapy that will not only provide relaxation, but also cheer you up. Negative thoughts will pass through you, take shape, and stay there, not in your head.

6. Take a walk

It often seems that our own head is the only source of negativity. Most often this is the case, but it also happens differently. If you are surrounded by toxic people, such as in a family where everyone constantly fights and blames each other, or at work, where everyone is on their nerves, half of the negativity may be due to their mood.

If you are not a guru, it is unlikely that you will be able to get rid of heavy thoughts while being in such an environment. Therefore, if possible, leave it to calm down. Go for a walk or go somewhere: to an exhibition, to your favorite cafe, to the cinema - this will help you find.

7. Make a Thank You List

Sometimes we forget about all the good things in our lives. It seems that there is no way out and a complete failure on all fronts. So, sitting in a cozy and warm apartment, having come from a favorite job, a person may think that his life is a cesspool, and he is a complete loser. And all because of the coincidence of minor troubles for the day or an unfulfilled project hanging over the soul.

To cope with this state, write down all the good things that are in your life, what you are for. For example: “I am grateful for my appearance and health”, “I am grateful for loving and beloved relatives”, “I am grateful for true friends”.

Look at the resulting list and see for yourself: minor annoyances cannot outweigh this.