Psychological techniques of influencing a partner. Leader Tools

Hello, my dear readers and blog guests! Everyone wants good relations with people. But they don’t add up by themselves. Therefore, it is worth mastering the art of setting them up. Without it, it is impossible to make a friend, create close relationships or establish connections with co-workers. Their essence lies in creating deep sympathy for oneself, a friendly attitude and the desire to continue further communication. In reality, there is nothing particularly difficult here, since the interlocutor, in turn, is usually interested in this. And today we will talk about how to win someone over.

Who needs the ability to win people over?

First of all, such a useful skill is especially necessary for representatives of certain professions. There are specialties for which communication becomes the core around which their entire professional activity. Therefore, people occupying these positions must be able to create an atmosphere of trust from the first word or even, perhaps, from the first sight. Their ability to earn a living and be .

It is very important to have these important skills:

• teachers;
• teachers;
• educators in kindergarten;
• artists;
• heads of various departments;
• sellers;
• managers;
• sales agents;
• journalists;
• doctors;
• nurses;
• officials;
• politicians;
• clergy, etc.

It is important for these people to be able to create an atmosphere of complete trust, help their interlocutor relax, and set him up for a thorough dialogue. At the same time, you need to be very patient, be able not to judge people for minor shortcomings, and strive to capture their attention. You cannot allow indifference to a person during a conversation, ignore requests or appeals, or respond rudely.

How to win someone over

In addition, you need to be able to actively use nonverbal communication methods. This means that you should smile at people, listen to them with an interested look, and act naturally, but not cheekily. Such simple ways help to completely win them over.

It is also very important to be able to use special communication methods. Among them may be the following.

These skills will help you quickly win over a person, arouse sympathy, and interest you in further conversation.

In the case where this has already happened, you should immediately make it clear to your interlocutor that you are ready to communicate in response. If you do this sincerely, without hiding your positive emotions, you can make a pleasant acquaintance or even find a new friendship.

Be sure to take into account:

• age;
• social status;
• profession;
• academic degree;
• status of the interlocutor.

Under no circumstances should the principles be used. People quickly recognize them and have a strong dislike for such a person.

It is worth remembering that the most attractive feature is. This is what usually accompanies charm. Therefore, first you need to be kind to your own personality. This quickly makes it clear to others that this is a pleasant and friendly person. If internal self-esteem is not too high, it needs to be developed psychological methods or at least smile at yourself in the mirror in the morning and say: “You look so good!”

It is equally important to be able to help the interlocutor feel attractive, competent and important. Therefore, from the very first minutes you need to treat him as a very respected person. If there is something interesting about him, he is dressed beautifully or has achieved some great results, it is better to note this immediately at the beginning of the conversation.

A compliment on one’s appearance, suit or hairstyle can be quite useful. It doesn't hurt to remember that he is also shy in front of a new person and resorts to the same tricks to create a positive atmosphere. Therefore, it is enough just to meet him halfway with an open soul.

The ability to win people over requires not only learning, but also maintaining this skill in yourself every day. It is especially important in the professional sphere, where not only suitability for the position held depends on it, but also earnings and nice atmosphere a team. See you again!

Bertrand Russell

Business communication requires a person to have a high psychological culture, as well as constant study and consideration of the emotional side business relations. Anyone who believes that the concept of "feelings" does not apply to work is likely to cause numerous and costly conflicts. Many have encountered cliches: “let’s talk business,” “let’s leave our feelings aside,” “our work is just business, and no emotions,” etc.

Is it possible? Aren't feelings a part of us, don't they influence our decisions, our work, our lives? Reason and emotions are inextricable components of a person. All attempts to separate feelings, suppress them, or even ban them are futile and ultimately harmful. Feelings, suppressed and hidden, do not disappear, they act from within and often manifest themselves in even more acute forms. It is known that the emotional in a person many times outweighs the rational in him. This knowledge can bring a significant tribute to those who will intelligently influence this “weak” place of a person.

Ask yourself: which interlocutor is easier for you to convince that you are right - the one who treats you with sincere sympathy, or the one who treats you with obvious antipathy? The answer is obvious. Other than that equal conditions people more easily accept the position of the person towards whom they have an emotionally positive attitude and, conversely, find it more difficult to accept (and often reject) the position of the person towards whom they have an emotionally negative attitude.

However, how to manage this factor, what are the techniques for using it in the practice of business communication? There is a category of people who know how to win over other individuals, almost immediately win their trust, evoke a feeling of sympathy, i.e. to form an attraction (from Latin attrahere - attraction, attraction). An analysis of the actions of such people shows that in the process of communication they use psychological techniques for forming attraction, techniques that, as a rule, are hidden from the interlocutor. But if these techniques exist, then they can be taught to those who need it.

Are we always aware of why we are attracted to a certain person or what repels us from him? How can we explain expressions like “there is something about him” and “something about him is unpleasant”?

When communicating with a partner, our senses receive great amount signals. But not all of them are realized. For example, you are talking with a person, but you cannot, with your eyes closed, name the color of his tie. A signal that affected our senses, but was not recorded, may disappear for you without a trace, or may not disappear. It all depends on how significant this signal is for a given individual, whether it carries a sufficient emotional charge for her. Bypassing consciousness, an emotionally significant signal remains in the realm of the unconscious and from there it exerts its influence, which manifests itself in the form of an emotional attitude.

What will happen if, in the process of communication, you send signals to your partner in such a way that, firstly, the signal has sufficient emotional significance for the partner, secondly, so that this meaning is positive for him, and thirdly, so that the partner is not aware of this signal? The following effect occurs: the communication partner will claim that “somehow this communication was pleasant”, “there is something inviting about it.” If you do this with a given partner more than once, then he will develop a fairly stable emotional-positive attitude. Having thus won over a person, i.e. Having formed an attraction, you are now more likely to achieve his acceptance of your position, his internal agreement with it.

With the help of these techniques, you cannot convince anyone of anything or prove anything to anyone, but you can only win over your interlocutor. Is this a lot or a little to increase the effectiveness of your business communication - let each of you decide for yourself.

What are these techniques?

It is based on saying out loud the name (or middle name) of the person you are talking to. And this is not just politeness. The sound of one's own name evokes in a person a feeling of pleasantness that is not always realized by him. D. Carnegie wrote that the sound of one’s own name is the most pleasant melody for a person. What is the psychological method for the emergence of a pleasant sensation when a person hears his own name addressed to him?

Here are its components.

1. The name assigned to a given person accompanies him from the first days of his life to the last. Name and identity are inseparable.

2. When a person is addressed without calling him by name, this is an “impersonal” address. In this case, the speaker is interested in the person not as a person, but only as a bearer of certain official functions. When they turn to a person and at the same time pronounce his name (and the name is a symbol of personality), thus, voluntarily or involuntarily, they show attention to his personality.

3. Every person claims to be an individual. When these claims are not satisfied, when someone infringes on us as an individual, we feel it.

4. If a person receives confirmation that he is a person, then this cannot but give him a feeling of satisfaction.

5. A feeling of satisfaction is always accompanied by positive emotions, which are not necessarily realized by a person.

7. If someone evokes positive emotions in us, then he involuntarily attracts us to himself, disposes, i.e. creates an attraction.

Try, for example, when meeting your colleagues or subordinates in the morning and greeting them, add to the phrase “good morning” (psychologically more pleasant than the word “hello”) the first name and patronymic of each of them, and you will evoke even if not clearly expressed, unconscious, but positive emotions. When talking with a person, from time to time address him by his first name and patronymic. It is necessary to use this technique not from time to time, but constantly, winning over your interlocutor in advance, and not when you need something from him.

Try to immediately remember the first name and patronymic of the person with whom you are talking for the first time. This will cause positive emotions in your interlocutor, which will return to you. Some people have difficulty remembering other people's names. In order to better remember the name, find a reason to immediately say it out loud. Quickly go through the names of acquaintances (and great people) in your memory to establish associative connections. Of course, there are situations when you need to remember a large number of names Then you need to specifically set aside some time and try to do this. The time spent will pay off handsomely.

To whom do you smile kindly and pleasantly more often - your friend or your ill-wisher? Of course, to a friend. Who smiles at you kindly and welcomingly more often? Naturally, friend. Your personal experience indicates that a kind and pleasant facial expression and a slight smile involuntarily attract people to you.

What psychological mechanism this attraction?

1. Most people smile sincerely and kindly at their friends, not at their enemies.

2. If, when communicating with us, a person has a kind and pleasant facial expression, a soft, welcoming smile, then most likely this is a signal:

I am your friend".

3. Friend in literally this word is a like-minded person on some issues that are significant to us.

4. One of the leading human needs is the need for safety, security. It is a friend who increases this security, i.e. satisfies one of our most important needs.

5. Positive emotions make a person feel satisfied.

6. A person always strives for someone who (what) evokes positive emotions in him.

7. If someone evokes positive emotions, then he, voluntarily or involuntarily, creates an attraction.

It should be noted that the effect of this mechanism does not depend on whether your partner wants or does not want to have these positive emotions. What matters is who will use this technique.

Do you know how to smile when necessary? A similar need arises when you need to evoke positive emotions in your interlocutor and win him over. This is necessary so that he accepts your position, so that he fulfills our order or request not under pressure, but voluntarily. And all this is necessary... always. In our context, a light smile is a welcoming smile, and a sympathetic, encouraging, and empathetic smile. If you find it difficult to smile “to order,” then we can first recommend the following: when left alone with yourself, smile at the person looking at you from the mirror.

In the vocabulary of managers, words that are pleasant for subordinates who note their merits (perhaps in a somewhat exaggerated form) are rare. What explains this?

Compliments are words that contain a slight exaggeration of the merits that the interlocutor wants to see in himself. In this sense, we will consider a compliment as one of the methods of creating attraction in business relationships.

Of course, each of us is pleased to hear compliments addressed to us. At the same time, we realize that what has been said is, albeit a small, but still an exaggeration. So why are we still pleased to hear such words?

If a person is often told: “You’re smart” or “You’re great at this,” although in reality this is not entirely true, then after a while he will really believe in his abilities and will strive to realize his potential.

The effect of suggestion occurs, as it were, in absentia, the satisfaction of a person’s dreams, desires, and needs to improve some of his traits. In fact, the need will not be completely satisfied, but the real feeling will be the feeling of its satisfaction, the emergence of positive emotions on this basis.

There are rules for using “golden words”. Without knowing or violating them, you can, against your will, turn “golden words” into banalities (at best).

A compliment differs from flattery precisely in that it contains a slight exaggeration. A flatterer greatly exaggerates the merits of his interlocutor.

For example, compare: “This color suits you very well” (compliment) and “You are the most beautiful” (flattery). Flattery is harsher than a compliment and is more likely to be rejected due to implausibility. But there are people who like flattery.

In business communication, the advantage belongs to the compliment. Compliment and praise cannot be equated. Praise is positive assessment. A positive perception of a compliment is facilitated by the use of facts known to both partners. The absence of a factual basis makes the compliment unconvincing and can reduce the statement to the level of banal flattery.

If there are doubts whether the interlocutor will understand what fact is being discussed, then it is better not to risk it and first remind about it, and then beat him.

It is unacceptable if the compliment contradicts the facts. For example, an employee did not sleep at night suffering from toothache, and they will tell her that she looks great. These words will be perceived as ridicule.

The compliment should be brief, contain one or two thoughts, and should not contain teachings. Ambiguous phrases must be avoided. Compliments should be given as often as possible. It is through practice that ease and ease in a compliment are achieved, which makes it natural and irresistible. A compliment begins with the desire to give it. Find what you personally like about your interlocutor, what you would like to borrow from him.

People accept compliments favorably, since everyone is pleased just by the fact that they want to say something good to him. That is why they easily forgive possible mistakes. Since men are not spoiled by compliments, they are less demanding of their quality. That is why it is better to learn how to compliment men.

When you like the compliment, the person’s face lights up with a smile. Your mood, along with a smile, is transmitted to your interlocutor. This is why compliments benefit everyone involved in communication.

How to make a compliment a compliment?

There are several rules.

A compliment should reflect only the positive qualities of a person. In a compliment, double meaning should be avoided when, for example, a given quality in a person can be considered both positive and negative.

For example: “Listening to your conversations with people, I am each time surprised by your ability to avoid answering so subtly and wittily!” This rule, conventionally called by us “one meaning,” is clearly violated here.

The positive quality reflected in the compliment should be slightly exaggerated.

For example: “I am always amazed at your accuracy and punctuality,” said the manager, accepting a report from a subordinate. These words not only surprised him, but amazed him. Firstly, he has a reputation of the exact opposite nature, and secondly, now there was not even a reason for these words, let alone a reason.

An important factor in the effectiveness of this technique is own opinion person about the level of qualities reflected in the compliment. Suppose a person knows for sure that his level of this quality is much higher than what is said in the compliment.

For example, a person who truly has a phenomenal memory (and this opinion is firmly entrenched in his mind) suddenly hears the following words addressed to him: “I am amazed at how you immediately remembered the phone number! You have a brilliant memory!” Or the doctor hears: “One can only be amazed at your skill! How quickly you diagnosed him with appendicitis!” In both the first and second cases, these are not compliments, but platitudes. The consequences can be negative, since the rule that we conventionally call “high opinion” has been violated.

This rule is that a compliment should state the presence of this characteristic, and not contain recommendations for its improvement.

Here are some examples of such “compliments”: “You should be more active!”; “Firmness of conviction adorns a man! Know how to defend your positions!” Here the rule that we conventionally called “no didactics” is clearly violated.

The employee does not at all strive to improve this quality. Moreover, he believes that it would be bad if this positive quality were expressed more strongly in him than it is now.

For example, one of your subordinates, who is also a manager, believes that the ability to give compliments is not at all a virtue of a real production organizer. And if you, being convinced of the opposite, try to give him a compliment like: “I heard that you are brilliant at giving compliments!”, then he will probably be offended.

The last rule concerns not the content of the compliment itself, but those additions that often follow it.

For example: “Your hands are truly golden. But your tongue is your enemy.” Or: “I am very impressed by your ability to win people over. If only this ability is in the interests of the business...” Therefore, when giving a compliment, refrain from the fly in the ointment, i.e. similar additions. Follow the rule that we conventionally call “no seasoning”.

Of course, it is difficult to remember all these rules at once, but if you use associative connections, then it will be much easier.

From childhood, we all remember the usual rules that you cannot interrupt your interlocutor, you must listen to him to the end, and be attentive to him. No one is saying that these rules should be ignored. “But” begins when you have to “pay” for compliance with these rules, and the unit of calculation is time. It is then that the true attitude towards these values ​​manifests itself.

In order to patiently and carefully listen to your interlocutor, you need a lot of time, because not everyone knows how to yin their thoughts concisely and clearly. In addition, we have to listen to drinks that are not relevant. If you do listen to your subordinate, he will satisfy his needs, receive suspicious emotions, and associate this with you against his will. Since they were the source of these positive emotions, they will be “returned” to you in the form of a slight increase in sympathy for you, i.e. in the form of an emerging or intensifying attraction.

Each person, along with professional interests, also has personal interests, hobbies and personal life. In empirical observations, it was noticed that if you have a conversation with a person in line with his expressed personal interest, this will cause him to have increased verbal activity, accompanied by positive emotions.

From time to time, talk with your subordinates about issues that are important to them in their personal lives, show interest in their feelings and experiences. For example, one of the employees is passionate about growing cacti and often talks about them. Everyone is already quite bored with this. Be patient and talk to her about them for a few minutes.

Who lost in this situation? A few minutes of wasted time listening to unnecessary information is on one side of the scale, and on the other is your like-minded subordinate.

Concluding the description of the techniques with which you can win over a person, you should make several general recommendations.

1. Using these techniques in practice can be compared to a lottery in the sense that the more often you use them, the more chances you have to win (achieve your goal). By using them in the process of communicating with partners, you have a chance to win (you may not win). However, you cannot lose by using these techniques, because by using them you do not lose anything.

2. As you became familiar with these techniques, you more than once caught yourself thinking that you had sometimes used them before. But let's note the following:

3. The last recommendation is related to this psychological technique, as the “illusion of remembering.” Is it possible to use the multiplication table without memorizing it? The above techniques also cannot be used without memorizing them. “Do you think you remember them? Then let’s conduct an experiment. Pick up a watch with a second hand and time how long it takes you to remember the names of these techniques.

A professional who works in his place is the main thing driving force organization, its main resource. But nothing happens on its own, and in order to find among the mass of applicants someone who will be truly passionate and effective, professional recruiter skills are needed.

Who is called a recruiter? This is the employee who carries out the selection of personnel. He can work in the personnel service or in the personnel service of the organization, or he can be an employee of a recruitment agency. The key skills of a recruiter lie not only in the speed of searching for candidates who meet the request for a specialist, but also in the ability to correctly assess the candidate’s potential and other qualities in the complex. This can be done using various .

A recruiter is a creative person, and without talent, success cannot be achieved. What is called professional instinct cannot be obtained by reading a lot of books or working in the personnel department for 20 years. And then you need to change your job, because constant work with people is the most difficult thing in the work of a recruiter.

Not today educational institutions, where you could get a recruiter specialty. A professional recruiter comes from a background of HR workers, HR managers or employees of recruitment agencies. But, in addition to purely technical skills, a recruiter must have a number of qualities.

Ability to win over and persuade

The secrets of being a great recruiter involve being able to listen more to the candidate and less to talk. Moreover, everything he says is perceived by the client as consultations or unobtrusive advice encouraging action.

Only by winning over a person can you evaluate him as a person and imagine how he will fit into the organization and what benefit he can bring. In turn, to achieve very short term location of the interlocutor, the recruiter must have not only professional, but also certain human qualities. These include the following:

• sincere attention to the interlocutor and interest;
• genuine goodwill;
• mental balance;
• the ability to attract interest with your offer;
• ability to close a deal.

Personal qualities of a candidate using the example of a “recruiter” position: Video

Professional recruiting

At the same time, the recruiter’s functionality is not limited to just searching and communicating with candidates. It can be described as follows:

• determine the parameters of the need and create a virtual job description;
• search for a candidate;
• conduct interviews with applicants (, in person);
• check documents and recommendations;
• organize a meeting between the manager and promising applicants;
• provide feedback – feedback with the candidate;
• organize invitations to work and conduct initial activities with a new employee.

The most difficult thing in the job of recruiters is to achieve consistency between the needs of the organization and the aspirations of the applicant. But there is nothing more difficult to control than the human factor.

Until the deal is closed, the professional skills of a successful recruiter are not an absolute guarantee of success. After all, people tend to act illogically, and in stressful situation, which is a job change, it is simply impossible to guarantee the consistency of the applicant’s actions and decisions.

What qualities of a recruiter can help? Only those who are focused on results, no matter what. Such a professional is often compared to TV show hosts - he must be able to get a conversation going, win over his interlocutor, reveal his motivation, while remaining in the shadows. The ability not only to receive information, but also to analyze it, make decisions and not be afraid to take responsibility for them - without these qualities, success in this profession is impossible.

A recruiter's business skills will be enhanced by having the following personal qualities:

• ability to systematize;
• analytic skills;
• flexibility and creativity of thinking;
• developed intuition;
• desire for results;
• mastery of nonverbal and verbal communication skills.

By wagging its tail, the dog gets its food, but by barking, it only gets beaten.

Eastern wisdom

For success in business communications It should be remembered that the more pleasant it is for people to communicate, the higher the chance of successfully solving a business problem or concluding a deal. Show your business partners that you are interested in them compliments , that is, pleasant words containing a slight exaggeration of a person’s positive qualities.

The ability to give a person the opportunity to realize their own importance helps to quickly get what they want. The ability to appreciate someone’s work, recognize its usefulness and irreplaceability, and say pleasant words to a person creates the conditions for effective interaction.

Why give compliments?

· a person received a compliment about a certain quality of his personality;

· thanks to the functioning of the attitude towards the desirability of this quality, it is accepted as reality at the subconscious level;

· there is a feeling of satisfaction;

· a feeling of satisfaction is always accompanied by the emergence of positive emotions (feeling pleasant);

· the positive emotions that arise are connected by the law of association with their source and transferred to the one who caused them;

· attraction to this person arises.

By praising business partners, we help them feel significant in the eyes of others and create a friendly atmosphere of business contact. By making our partner smile or pleasantly surprised with our words, we are distracted from our own problems and lift our mood. Finally, the more compliments we give to people, the more pleasant words come back to us.

How to give compliments correctly?

A.Yu.Panasyuk in the book “Management Communication. Practical advice" formulated rules that reveal the psychological mechanism of the influence of a compliment on a person.

· No ambiguity

A compliment should reflect exclusively the positive qualities of a person. Double meanings should be avoided in a compliment. But here the rule is clearly broken: “Listening to your conversations with people, I am each time surprised by your ability to evade the answer so subtly and wittily!”

· No hyperbole

The positive quality in a compliment should be only slightly exaggerated.

· Considering the high opinion

An important factor in the effectiveness of this technique is the person’s own opinion about the level of qualities reflected in the compliment. If the significance of a compliment is lower than the partner’s level of self-esteem, then for him such a compliment is trivial, and the consequences can be negative.

· Unpretentious

The partner may not strive to improve this quality. Moreover, he believes that it would be bad if this positive quality were expressed in him more strongly than it is, so a compliment addressed to a strongly manifested quality may cause him to be offended.

· Without didactics

This rule is that a compliment should only state the presence of a given quality, and not contain recommendations or practical advice to improve it.

· No “seasonings”

For example, “Your hands are golden, but your tongue is your enemy” or “I am very impressed by your ability to win people over. Only if this ability were in the interests of the business.” Such “seasonings” are a “fly in the ointment” and reduce or even negate even the best compliment.

Rules:

· embed compliment words into a general phrase;

· do not pause;

· construct the phrase so that the compliment is followed by meaningful text; the longer the general phrase after the compliment words, the better;

· it is advisable to structure the statement so that part of the general phrase after the compliment words contains something that would capture the attention of the listener.

Every person strives to hear something specific about himself, because it is the specificity of a compliment that allows a person to feel its truthfulness and sincerity. In addition, most people think that a person who notices some nuances of our personality and notes them with a compliment is actually showing sincere interest in us.

When we constantly comment on very obvious positive qualities when giving compliments, it makes less of an impression than if we notice hidden traits. The more hidden “little things” our colleagues and business communication partners notice, the more sincere their words seem. Moreover, by giving such a sincere compliment, we not only help the person feel our respect, but we ourselves understand why we respect this person.

By the way, a compliment has a positive effect even when your partner treats you with hostility. As part of a business interaction, by making a compliment that is situationally appropriate and adequate to the expectations of a business partner, you can win him over and change a negative attitude.

If compliments are given to you

Every person should not only be able to give compliments, but also learn to accept them correctly. As the practice of business interaction shows, it can be very difficult for people to accept praise addressed to them. Most people automatically reject compliments, which should not be done under any circumstances. Firstly, you offend the one who said nice words to you, and secondly, you should be grateful to this person: you accept the positive assessment and begin to believe it.

Follow a simple rule: respond simply “Thank you.”

Examples of compliments for business interactions

The compliment also has cultural specificity. Thus, some compliments to women can make a very strange impression on speakers of a different culture. In India, for example, you can flatter a woman if you compare her to a cow and her gait to that of an elephant. A good compliment for a Japanese woman is a comparison with a snake, for a Tatar and Bashkir woman - with a leech, personifying the perfection of forms and movements. Addressing a woman “Goose!” in Russian culture it is an insult, and in Egypt it is an affectionate compliment.

Questions for self-control

1. What is a compliment?

2. Should you give compliments during business interactions?

3. Why do you need to give compliments?

4. Why do noticed “not too noticeable details” cause more positive emotions?

5. How to personalize a compliment?

6. How should one behave in response to a compliment?

7. What is the role of a compliment in removing emotional stress?

8. When is it appropriate to give compliments?

9. What are the advantages of a compliment given against the background of an anti-compliment?

10. List the positive feelings that a person experiences when listening to compliments addressed to him?

11. What is the essence of the “golden words” technique?

Exercise 1

All class participants sit in big circle, everyone should look carefully at the partner sitting on the left and think about what character trait, what habit of this person he likes, and he wants to say about it, that is, give a compliment.

Any member of the group who is ready to say pleasant words to his partner sitting on the left begins. During the speech, all participants must listen carefully to the speaker. The participant to whom the compliment is made must, at a minimum, thank him, and then, having established contact with the partner sitting to his left, make his compliment; and so on in a circle until all participants exchange compliments.

Task 2

Divide into pairs and speak pleasant words to each other for one minute. Everyone chooses the compliment that he liked the most.

Task 3

An object is passed around in a random order. The participant transferring the item must name the quality that unites him with the person to whom he is transferring the item.

At the same time, he begins his sentence with the words: “ Name, I think you and I are united by..." and names this quality, for example: "You and I are equally sociable."

The one who receives the item responds: “I agree” if he agrees, or “I’ll think about it” if he does not agree. Even if you do not agree that you have this quality, what your partner communicates still carries a certain useful information about how we look in the eyes of other people.

Task 4

Participants are asked to identify qualities in other people that inspire admiration, respect, or sympathy.

The task is completed in a circle or in writing. The partner in this task is the participant in the lesson with whom you are least familiar. Which makes the task more difficult. The first one to start says: “ Name. I like it about you...” The person, in turn, must name the feelings that arose in him in response to these words.

Since most participants, when reacting to words, most often say that they are pleased or unpleasant, it is necessary to complicate the task until they become aware of feelings, for example, by talking about positive emotional states, it is necessary to specify them: I am happy, I had pleasure, I experienced delight, I felt happy, I had hope and self-confidence. I was overcome with pride, I was triumphant, etc.

Tasks for independent work

1. Find similarities (commonalities) with a person you met just a few days or even hours ago. Try to find not one or even three, but, say, 20 qualities that you have in common with this person.

2. Find something in common with a person you really don't like. Try to find not one or even three, but, say, 20 qualities that you have in common with this person.

3. Try to emphasize at least 2-5 times during the day the importance of those people with whom you work and communicate - correctly assess the significance of their contribution to the common cause. Celebrate good ideas, suggestions, express respect, sympathy, etc. Genuinely recognizing the strengths of another person will not only help relieve tension in the relationship, but will also develop the ability to unconditionally accept other people.

Abstract of an article by Joel Garfinkel, 2012, issue 3

The author of the article examines three important factors factors influencing the development of a leader's career are perception, visibility and influence. If a leader can in the right direction change how others perceive him, act clearly and expand his sphere of influence - he can become a significant and influential leader of the organization.

Improved perception

The challenge is to create the desired image, control and manage how others see you, so that their perception reflects your impact on the organization.

People are constantly evaluating you and your work. The first impression is formed in a matter of seconds; if it turns out to be negative, it is very difficult to change it. You need to pay attention to how people perceive your actions to ensure that you project a positive image in the eyes of your colleagues. There is no other way to ensure that you are perceived positively than to ask your employees for their opinion of you. In addition to being able to figure out what you need to change, you will also come across as someone who is committed to improving himself and improving the quality of his work. Once you figure out how others perceive you, you can determine what behaviors you need to change to create the desired image. The author suggests some steps to positive side change how others perceive you:

1. Choose visual projects. The demonstrativeness of your actions will allow you to influence the perception of others and their respectful attitude towards you. Try to take part in a project that will have an impact big influence on key aspects of the life of the organization. If you can make a tangible contribution to the development of this project, you will attract the attention of those who determine the activities of the organization.

2. Get closer to the organization's most influential leaders. Seek opportunities to engage with the most influential leaders - ask relevant, insightful questions and share your successes. Make sure the most influential people the organization knows who you are and has a positive opinion of you.

3. Talk more often. Strive to express your opinion more often, share ideas and observations. Participate in daily discussions, speak up in meetings, and make sure you are heard.

Visibility of action

Improve your image throughout the organization, including at the highest levels, by standing out and attracting attention.

To get noticed, you need to highlight those accomplishments that are meaningful, stand out, and beneficial to the organization. Never hide in the shadows, you must be sure that those around you know how irreplaceable you are.

Visibility is not determined by how many people in the organization you know, it is determined by how many people know you. In order for the people you need to know about you, you must promote, advertise yourself, and also ensure that others advertise you.

Before you start promoting yourself, you must understand what exactly you need to promote. Make a list of your most significant achievements over the past six to twelve months. Find specific examples how your projects influenced the development of the organization. Keep your manager regularly informed of your progress and its impact on the organization. Below are some tips to help you move up the career ladder:

1. Record the positive feedback you receive from others. Praise and positive assessment from colleagues and clients is a serious promotion tool.

2. Be proactive. The more active you are, the more attention you attract. If you find a problem, fix it. Take part in various projects, demand more responsibility, look for opportunities to contact top managers.

4. Tell stories. A story of a leader's success or achievements, presented in the form of a short story, will be easier to remember by others and will remain in their memory longer.

Most effective method advertisements are recommendations from others. Many people can become your guarantors. The most obvious option is your direct manager or someone else in a higher position in the organization. These people have great influence in the organization. Next, you can contact your colleagues, subordinates, clients and partners.

Try to find at least three people who are willing to vouch for you. It will be easier for you to ask them for help if you have a good relationship with them.

Expanding influence

Make the greatest possible impact on the situation in the organization, regardless of your position and degree of influence.

First, you need to understand how much influence you have on this moment. When in last time Did someone in a higher position listen to your opinion? How quickly do your employees and subordinates fulfill your requests and instructions? How often do people support your projects and ideas?

Five Steps to Becoming an Influential Leader

1. Reliable reputation. Your reputation is the first step in spreading influence to people you meet for the first time. You have an advantage because your reputation speaks for itself.

2. Wide range of skills. With a wide range of knowledge and skills, you will be able to perform your work with the highest quality, exceeding the expectations of others.

3. Competent self-presentation. People will believe in your leadership skills if you appear confident and act accordingly. Being charismatic person, you will easily lead people with you.

4. The ability to win over. People should feel calm and confident around you, they should not feel discomfort.

5. The power of persuasion. If you are persuasive enough, you can win others over to your side and convince them to follow you. Themes.