The easiest way to solve any life problems.

Problems in life arise in the life of every person constantly, but, unfortunately, not everyone knows how to cope with them. There are those who prefer a heroic battle to stand quietly in a trench, waiting for the enemy to leave on his own or for someone to come to the defense. Such a position is fundamentally wrong, and such an approach to problems must be resolutely combated.

How, instead of hiding from them or waiting for someone to solve them for us, specialists in human psychology know. Due to the increase in general stress modern life Psychologists willingly share with others valuable advice on overcoming life's difficulties. All of them agree that every person should by all means learn to solve problems on their own.

Identify a specific problem and its importance

The problem can be considered the loss of keys and dismissal from work, tooth loss and Sometimes a person can write down as a problem a life situation that he has never encountered and which forces him to actions that are unusual for him, knocking him out of his psychological comfort zone. Therefore, before driving yourself into stress, it is worth considering whether the problem is far-fetched.

In the same time existing problems important to be clear. You may even have to make a list with their enumeration. The next thing to do is to determine the weight and urgency of each problem. It is important to understand which ones should be resolved first and which ones can wait. You should not rush to solve everything in one fell swoop, because you may simply not have enough strength for this, and the quality of such a solution is greatly reduced.

Develop the Right View

After the true problems are identified and the order of their resolution is built, it is necessary to proceed to the next step - the formation of the correct view of them. Of course, the complexity of situations is different, however, before proceeding with the resolution of each of them, it is necessary to think about what useful things can be learned from it. It sounds strange? Not at all.

The solution to each problem requires you to display one or more qualities at once. This means that the development or training of certain character traits can be considered a positive aspect of each of them. In addition, in difficult situations, we can become more active and smart, we learn to think and behave outside the box. According to scientists, getting out of the psychologically comfortable zone is the best way for a person to personal growth.

Subdue your emotions and make a plan

Before you solve problems, you need to pacify your emotions. Panic and anger do not allow us to soberly assess the situation and our actions; under the influence of feelings, we tend to act illogically. Almost everyone who has ever made a decision on emotions instantly, then more than once regretted it.

In order to successfully solve various problems in life, it is necessary to compose detailed plan their actions. It is worth starting to compile it immediately after emotions have subsided and the ability to think sensibly and rationally has returned. Do not forget that the plan for overcoming the problem is just an outline, consisting of intended actions. It is necessary to tune in in advance that it will have to be corrected. Moreover, this can happen both before the start of its implementation, and during it.

Fight the fear of failure

Often the biggest obstacle in how to solve problems is fear. It paralyzes and makes it difficult to see clearly the picture of what is happening. We are usually most afraid of failure, we are afraid that the plan we have drawn up will turn out to be a complete failure or that additional unexpected difficulties will arise. How to solve the problem associated with your own fear?

First, try not to dwell on the thought that something will not work out. Drive away these thoughts as the most terrible enemy. There is only one way to overcome fear - by accepting it and doing what you are afraid of. Try to fantasize in the opposite direction. Imagine that you succeeded, feel in your imagination the taste of success and satisfaction from the fact that you have achieved your goal, and the problem is left behind.

To understand how to solve problems yourself, it would be useful in some situations to talk about what torments you to those you trust. Sometimes this alone can help, because while you will state the whole essence of what is happening, highlighting the main thing and trying to convey it to the listener plain language, in your head everything will also clear up, settle down in places. It is possible that after that you will suddenly have a decision.

If this does not happen, then close person The person you brought to the heart of your problem can firstly help you emotionally, and secondly, can give you loving and compassionate advice. It would be especially good if this person ever faced a similar problem in his life. Or maybe you can find someone who can provide practical assistance?,

Imagine your downfall

The great psychologist advises for getting rid of panic fear before failing to look her straight in the eye. In other words, you need to believe in success, but at the same time clearly realize that no one in this world is completely immune from anything. Why think about failure, isn't that discouraging?

Dale Carnegie explains this by saying that in a problematic situation, a fiasco for many means the end of life. They are terrified even for a moment to imagine that everything will end in the worst way for them, and they have no idea how they will live after that. According to the psychologist, having thought over in advance our actions in case everything does not go as we hope, we protect ourselves from panic fear of such a turn of events and will not be completely at a loss if everything happens this way.

Assess the problem globally

When you need to solve a problem, try to look at it from a different angle. For example, if you have nothing to put on shoes, look at your problem through the eyes of a legless cripple. And if you're upset about having a fight with your husband, look at your problem through the eyes of a recently widowed woman. If you are not satisfied with the quality of your life - go to the cemetery. Gloomy? Believe me, this will help to move your problem at least a little. central location In my life.

And you can try this way - look at the Earth, at yourself and at your problem from space. Can you imagine how small it will seem then? Imagination, it turns out, can be used for such useful purposes. Also, when a problem that has arisen puts too much pressure on us, you can try to imagine how we will remember it in a year or five years. Maybe then it will turn into funny story of a life that we will amuse our friends with?

Do not forget about rest and do not "saw sawdust"

Psychologists, who know better than anyone how to solve problems with the least loss for themselves, advise not to forget that the body always needs rest. Experiencing stress, which absorbs the lion's share of the energy produced by the body, a person loses strength. To add their number will help a complete physical and emotional rest.

Especially weakening a person is constant regret about something that caused a problem or prevented him from successfully overcoming it. You should not “saw sawdust”, that is, return your thoughts to the past again and again in order to regret it properly. This is meaningless. If your current problem is about something that cannot be changed in any way, try to distract yourself from it and not scroll through it constantly in your head. You will no longer influence what happened, but what can happen to your health, your thoughts really influence.

Armed with the advice of experts, you can safely enter the battle with your problems. It would be foolish to expect some kind of miraculous end to this fight, but the fact that thanks to the right approach, problems will be solved much easier can be counted on without a doubt. Remember, everyone is capable of solving their own problems, and no one is assigned to do this dirty work for you.

As you understand, the topic of this article will be devoted to finding effective ways to help solve the problem. Many people simply immerse themselves in the problem, making it even bigger. It's kind of like a pain. Imagine that you have a sore on your hand that does not heal because you scratch it. In addition, it not only does not heal, but becomes even larger. And some people, having no problems, come up with them. You can read about this in the article - It is described in detail there.

How to solve a problem?

You know what Laura Silva says: "Either solve your problems or stop whining". So the first step in solving the problem is to renounce the problem. That is, you do not plunge into it with your head, do not ask questions: “Well, why did this happen to me?”, "How can I solve this problem?", “Why is it always me… why am I?” and so on. Instead, you begin to see the problem not as your own, but as someone else's. You have probably noticed how skillfully we solve other people's problems. They are not ours, they don’t hurt us, they don’t cause bad emotions, you remain cool and sober, which means solution of problems comes to you very quickly and in several versions.

Many people think that only they have problems and others do not. The fact is that our whole life consists of choice, decision-making and, of course,. You can't hide from them anywhere. It's just that some have more and some have less. It also depends on the person, on their point of view. After all, what some people consider problems, others think it is. Good luck because now you can do so-and-so. As the saying goes: . So that second step in problem solving will become A New Look to these problems.

Let's look at an example here. For example, someone was fired from their job. What do most people do? At first, they are indignant, swear, repeat that they were not treated fairly, break down on loved ones, bite their nails. This is a normal reaction. In my opinion, this needs to be done. But what happens next? Time passes, and a person, instead of solving his problem with unemployment, begins to lie on the couch with beer in front of the TV set and mentally resent that he was treated badly. Here is the same sore that does not heal due to the fact that he scratches it. Then the problem really becomes a problem.

What is the minority doing? They analyze what happened with a cool head, then ask themselves the question: "What can I do to solve this problem", “How do I solve the problem in the best way for me?”. Then they go through the options, and what happens is they find new job, which is largely better than that who got fired, or they open their own business and start working for themselves. And when you work for yourself, no one can fire you. In short, in this way people find new opportunities that they have not seen before. For them, the black stripe really becomes a take-off. And all because they are thinking about solving problems, and not poking around in what happened.

So if something happened to you, first calm down, and then, with a cool head, start asking yourself promotional questions: "How to solve a problem?", "What do I need to fix the situation", “What can I do now to get out of this impasse?”. As I said, the answer will definitely come to you. By the way, here's an article for you - It says how failure becomes success.

So, we got acquainted with the first two ways, namely: detachment from the problem and asking yourself propulsive questions. They are damn commonplace, so now let's move on to heavy artillery.

How to solve a problem?

So, as you understand, in order to solve problems, you first need to emotionally calm down. But how to do it, because emotions just overflow? Here is where we can help! I am not kidding. It is at the alpha level that all problems are solved, restrictions are removed, all diseases are treated. If you don't believe me, you can read the article -. There, Laura talks about how meditation effectively helps solve problems. I highly recommend you read it. Get a lot of impressions.

So!!! The first thing you should do is sit yourself on the sofa. This is not so easy to do, because thoughts about the problem just swarm in my head. So this is the hardest step. Here I advise you two options: the first is to wait until the emotions subside (then it will be easier for you to sit on the sofa), the second is to take a warm bath and lie down there. For some reason, we always climb into a warm bath willingly. It is the second method that I suggest to you. Just in the bath or shower you relax as much as possible. And it is at this moment that non-standard ideas for solving problems can come to you. As Einstein said: "Why are all the most good ideas come to me during the shower?. You just literally do not understand, otherwise it turns out really funny !!!

So, it turned out to relax, however, in order to solve the problem, you should visit the alpha level as long as possible. The solution to the problem does not come immediately (although anything can happen). Therefore, I recommend that you download a special sound that contains alpha tempo rhythms. You can download by going to the article -. Also, I recommend that you visit the pages - and. All this will help you relax as much as possible and. If you do this, then consider that you have solved your problem.

The following powerful problem solving tool that I will give you will definitely help you solve the problem. Only a few know about it, and you are lucky that you are on this page. In combination with the above tips, you will not have a single problem that you cannot solve. This method is called -. I already wrote about him, you can read. This method takes a lot of time, and its effectiveness cannot be overestimated. You just take a piece of A4 sheet, write a question at the top of the sheet: "How do I solve a problem related to..." and write down all the thoughts that come into your head. I don't care what you write there. You can write absolute nonsense. The main thing is to answer the question and write without stopping.

This method helps to disable logical thinking, repeatedly increases focus, connects . The main thing here is to write and write without stopping. The solution may surface in five hours, or even longer. The main thing is not to give up!!! Thus, you will find solutions to any problems, any difficulties.

Finally, I want to tell you that it would be better if you "problem" replace with the word "situation". Word "problem" very poorly perceived at a subconscious level, causes black coloring, unpleasant sensations. And here is the word "situation" perceived much nicer than the word "problem". Such a replacement will also help you solve problems in the best way.

Summary:

1. We change the word "problem" on word "situation".
2. We renounce the problem (we perceive it as not our own).
3. We relax as much as possible (go to the alpha level).
4. Take a sheet, ask a question "How to solve a problem?", a "How to solve the situation?" and write whatever comes to mind.

Well good luck to you in solving trials ..., situations.

how to solve a problem, problem solving

How well you handle problems often determines your success and happiness. If you cannot figure out how to solve a problem, try to analyze it and break it down into several small parts. Consider whether you should approach the solution of the problem logically or through sensations and feelings? Find creativity to this situation by consulting with other people and looking at this problem with different points vision.

Steps

Approach the problem

1. Define the problem. Think about what the problem really is, don't just look at the "symptoms" of the problem. In such a case, it is important to pay attention to the main essence, and not to extraneous sensations that are associated with this problem. You can analyze the accompanying feelings and emotions later. So, get familiar with the main problem and try to fully understand it.

   • For example, if your room is always a mess, the problem may not be that you are dirty. Perhaps you just don’t have enough drawers and shelves to neatly organize and spread out all your belongings.
   • When identifying the underlying problem, be as careful as possible. If this personal problem, be honest with yourself to find out what's wrong. If this is a problem that lends itself to a logical explanation, try to understand where and when it first arose.
   • Think about whether this problem is real, or you made it up? Do you need to solve this problem, or is this something you want? Putting the situation into perspective will help you navigate the problem-solving process.

2. Make big decisions first. Think about what decisions you need to make, how and why they are important to solving your problem. Making decisions will help you move forward in solving problems, so first think about what to focus on, what needs to be done, how you are going to do it.

   • For example, you may have several problems that need to be solved. Therefore, you first need to decide which of them to solve first. Solve problems as they come - it will be easier and you will not worry about other problems.
   • Once you make a decision, don't doubt yourself. From now on, be prepared to look to the future without thinking about how things might have been if you had chosen a different option.

3. Simplify the problem. too complex and global problem difficult to resolve. If there are several similar problems, break them down into smaller components and deal with them individually. Break the problem into smaller parts so you can understand it and find a solution.

   • For example, if you have many different assignments to complete in order to pass an exam, focus on how many assignments you need to complete and then start completing them one by one.
   • Whenever possible, try to combine the same type of problems and solve them together. For example, if you don't have time to study, try listening to a recorded lecture while you're driving to class (or take a quick look at your notes while you're waiting for lunch).

4. Describe what you know and don't know. Review the information you already have. Then think about what information you still need. Find all necessary material and then properly organize it.

   • For example, if you are trying to take a test, find out what you already know and then decide what else you need to learn. First review what you already know, then start looking for and learning new information from your notes, notebooks and other sources that can help you.

5. Try to predict the results. Come up with a plan B (maybe plan C will come in handy too) so you don't get caught up in just one option. When you come up with possible solutions, think about what each of them can lead to. Consider the possible outcomes and how they will affect you and those around you. Think about how things will play out in the best and worst case scenarios.

   • Pay attention to how these scenarios make you feel.

6. Allocate resources. Resources include time, money, effort, travel, and so on. If solving a problem is a top priority for you, you may need to allocate more resources to solving this problem than if it were not a priority for you. Think about what resources you have and how you can use them to solve the problem.

   • For example, if you have a deadline, you might miss cooking dinner or working out a couple of times. gym to spend that time working on the project.
   • If possible, reduce those tasks that are not necessary. For example, you can save time by ordering groceries or meals online instead of going to the store. The time saved can be spent on other tasks.

   Approach problem solving creatively

   1. Arrange " brainstorm and come up with several possible solutions. Think of different ways to solve a problem. Knowing that you have several ways to solve this problem, you will have a choice. After thinking about alternative options, decide which ones are more realistic and which ones are best left out.

      • if you accept difficult decision, write down a list of alternatives. In this case, you will not forget any possible option and you can immediately cross out those options that seem unrealistic.
      • For example, let's say that you are hungry and therefore need something to eat. Think about whether you want to cook something for yourself, buy fast food, order food, or go to a restaurant or cafe.

   2. Try different approaches to the problem. If you are solving a specific problem, analytical and logical skills will help you the best. In other cases, you will have to rely on emotions to help you solve the problem. Often, solving a problem requires the ability to combine the skills of thinking, feeling, and even intuition. Don't be afraid to use all of these methods, try each one and see what works best for you.

      • For example, if you're considering a job offer that pays well but leaves you too little time for your family, you'll have to approach the problem in a variety of ways. Think about this sentence logically, but also pay attention to your feelings and thoughts, and also imagine how your decision will affect you and those around you.

   3. Ask for advice. If your problem is not solved overnight, seek advice from other people. Perhaps you know someone who has had a similar problem in the past and that person can give you some advice. It is not so important whether you follow his advice - it depends only on you. However, it can be helpful to get a different point of view.

      • For example, if you're buying a house or apartment and don't know how to make a final decision, talk to other homeowners, listen to their opinions about buying a house/apartment and their regrets.

   4. Track progress. If you are working towards a goal, keep track of how things are going. If you are moving forward and succeeding, keep going. If you find that you are not doing very well, consider solving the problem in a different way. You may need to come up with new strategies to solve your problem.

      • For example, if you are having financial difficulties, pay attention to how your efforts affect income and expenses. If the habit of budgeting helps you, keep going. If you don't know how to handle money, try something else.
      • Keep a diary, write in it about your progress, successes and problems. These entries can be read to increase motivation when you feel frustrated.

What makes a problem unsolvable?

An unsolvable problem looks when a person 1) does not know how to solve it 2) knows, but cannot.

Let's deal with the first point first.

A person does not know how to solve a problem, does not see a solution.

This is the most difficult, nervous and unpleasant condition. When he already knows, but cannot, it is easier, it is clear what to do, the task is to gather strength. And not knowing how, a person rushes about and looks for someone who could help him see these paths. He goes to friends, looks for an answer on the Internet, makes an appointment with a psychologist.

In I have already given a universal recipe for finding solutions to any problem. To do this, it is enough to change the external locus to the internal one when considering this problem.

The explanation for this miracle is simple. A person does not know "how" when the description of the problem is beyond his influence. It is necessary to locate the problem within its own boundaries, and a solution will appear.

Look again at the examples of how the locus changes and the problems are reformulated.

Problem: "The woman I love doesn't love me."

This problem is unsolvable, because its solution is beyond the boundaries of human influence, it is about what the other person does or does not do, in this case, does not like.

How to reformulate this problem by changing the locus?

There are several options. “I worry because of the dislike of a woman” - and then the problem is experiences. You can work with feelings, you can work with suffering self-esteem, bitterness and fear of the collapse of relationships. “It seems to me that they don’t love me” - and then the problem is to figure out if they love me. Although in the latter case it is important to understand why you need to figure it out? What will he do with this knowledge? Will he leave, will he try to restore the balance? If the first, it makes sense to find out, and if the second, you can work on the balance without this knowledge.

There is a more or less general formulation for such problems, which requires an understanding of the concept of imbalance: “I am in the red in these respects” - and then the problem is its own minus, you can work with it. This work concerns the reduction of one's dependence on a person and the formation of one's person in his field, more significant than now. The second is the ability to even go a little beyond the boundaries, remaining in the internal locus (from the point of view of psychology, this is "magic", but has a scientific explanation, that is, it does not concern anything supernatural).

The inner locus is a spacesuit that allows you to go to any airless space and visit alien planets. Within the limits of one's own planet (its borders) - the locus is already internal, the spacesuit is replaced by the atmosphere.

Let's look at another problem: loss of a job (any loss of anything or anyone, even a wife)

In the internal locus, this problem will look like "experiencing the loss" and / or "search for a replacement." With one and the other problem, and even with both at once, you can work. Nothing can be done about losing a job. The work is already lost, it is beyond the influence of man. But a person can do something with his experiences: he must find ways to switch, compensate, comfort, cope with the trauma inflicted on him (raise self-esteem, restore his integrity, renew protection, and so on)

Speaking of trauma. Having an injury problem, it is very important to keep in the inner locus again. The injury has already been inflicted (or so it seems, it doesn’t matter), you can’t rewind it back, the task is to remove all the negative consequences, to recover. (Either you need to formulate the problem not as "my injury", but in another way, for example, "the struggle for the rights of other injured people"). In the treatment of trauma, "revenge" or "forgiveness" is different ways restoration of internal integrity, it is important to find the way that will be most effective, but do not forget about the future. Some believe that integrity cannot be restored without revenge, but this is far from always the case. Some are sure that trying to take revenge, you will always lose more. This is also not always the case. It is important to consider your situation and carefully understand why you want revenge, what exactly it will restore or not restore, very often it gives only the illusion of restoring “justice” and “self-respect”, but sometimes not only an illusion, and then the only question is finding adequate ways.

But this is a separate topic, and if everyone is very interested in it, I will tell you more later.

The locus always needs to be moved, even when it seems that it is impossible to move it inward. There is always at least part of the problem that can be shifted within its own boundaries. Everything that is beyond the borders is unsolvable, inaccessible, does not deserve long-term attention, because nothing can be done.

Of course, knowing the solution is still very little in order to solve the problem. There must be more strength. Therefore, I wrote at the beginning of the post that the problem is unsolvable when a person does not know how, or knows, but cannot. In order to find the means to solve a problem that is in the internal locus, that is, within the limits of one's own influence, it is important to understand what blocks the forces. As a rule, this is either 1) frustration (apathy), or 2) fear, which is also uncertainty.

How to overcome or deceive frustration and how to cope with fear and self-doubt to solve the problem, I will tell.

In the meantime, there are tasks for you on the topic “changing an external locus to an internal one”.

Reframe the following problems to change the locus from external to internal. There may not be one, but several.

1. “Coworker gets tired of stupid talk at work”

2. “Mother is constantly climbing with unnecessary advice”

3. "The child does not want to do homework"

4. “Husband is offended by too rare and boring sex”

5. “Nothing interesting happens in life”

6. "Wife is constantly nagging about money"

7. "The boss is a fool"

Light and black stripes - this is the real pattern of our existence. But it happens that unexpectedly a difficult and long black stage appears, and each new day feels even worse than the previous one. Difficulties "piling up" on us literally from everywhere, and we do not have time to find rational solutions for them. How to solve relationship problems, family problems, problems at work and in yourself? In other words, there come such moments that you understand that effective psychotherapy is needed, because we only learning to solve problems.

In the event that now you think that the situation is too complicated and the condition is unstable or frankly unimportant, a psychologist's consultation is necessary. And in general, it's time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start effective actions that will help restore the lost idyll of spiritual life. After all !

How can this be done?

Rule 1: Seek support from friends and family.

Never try to solve everything alone, finding the right solution together is faster and easier. In addition, the very awareness of help from the outside will give you energy and set you in a constructive way. If you no longer navigate own life due to difficulties, say "stop" and seek support from your friends or from. The psychologist is a person who solves problems, he has a job. Maybe it's time to stop self-medicating and trust a professional?

Law 2: Calm down.

Remember: the more frustrated and fussy you are, the more difficult it is, as a rule, to find the right solution. Especially since negative feelings tend to attract only negative thoughts. Try to abstract from problems, leave them unresolved for a short time, just cool down. Do not forget: .

Rule 3: Don't bring complexity at work into your family life.

In your personal life, your everyday difficulties of a working nature should ideally not be reflected. Adopt such a law, leaving work, "switch" to something else, we learning to solve problems work-related, workplace!

Rule 4: Don't try to solve all problems at once.

A common mistake of some is the desire to kill all the forces to solve all problems at the same time. As a rule, as a result, a person cannot really solve any problem properly. Teach yourself to prioritize here as well. Deal with the most important and urgent problems first, and only then move on to less important and secondary ones.

Law 5: Learn to deal with stress.

The main thing that generates the majority problem situations Stress is known to be detrimental to our health and mood. And since we only get Negative influence from "bad stress", it is important to learn how to deal with it - this is a key skill in problem solving. It is precisely such things that bring us pleasure and a lot of positive experiences that remove stress from our lives. This, for example, is reading a fascinating book, picnics in nature with a cheerful company, traveling, playing chess, etc. If in recent times the circumstances of life have become very stressful, which means that it makes sense to devote more time to restoring your own strength, otherwise how can you find the right solution to your difficulties?

Rule 6: Look at difficulties from a different perspective.

When you calm down and stop being nervous, return to the problems that are bothering you again and make an attempt to evaluate and analyze them rationally, without unnecessary worries. You are just learning to solve problems (like every person on Earth), but it is very possible that now they will no longer seem completely unbearable to you. Often life's difficulties seem unbearable to us precisely because there are too many of them and all of them require immediate action, this unsettles a person, into a state of stress in which it is difficult to act.

Set aside difficulties as something short-lived, which will certainly be defeated. And sign up, finally, for a consultation with a psychologist.

Who is he - a person who solves problems?

This is a psychologist or psychotherapist, a professional whose job it is to help other people solve problems and difficulties. This is not only his bread, but also a significant part of the meaning of his life, if, of course, this psychologist loves his job. And do not think that a psychologist at work is engaged only in "pleasant chatter" and "drinking tea." In fact good job psychologist is recognized as one of the most difficult professional areas in which specialist has to:

a) be constantly attentive and concentrated on the situation and speech of the client;

b) act as a psychodiagnostic, analyst and strategist at the same time;

in) overcome significant obstacles from his own unconscious, which strives to throw a couple of good memories of "how I had something similar in my life ...".

Therefore, non-professionals do not stay long in psychological counseling - it is too difficult. More difficult than it seems to the unenlightened at first glance.