I can't get rid of my fear. Doubt before something unknown and unknown

The difficulty in achieving success is due to a number of reasons. Someone does not believe in himself, and does not know how to gain confidence in own forces. Some do not make enough effort, and they do not have enough perseverance, others do not even know when they are lying on the stove how to overcome your laziness. There are many reasons that prevent us from achieving our goals. Today we will touch upon a problem concerning the majority, if not everyone. And this problem is phobias, fears.

Not always people experiencing obsessive fear, unable to succeed, are exemplified by the stories of many famous people. But it is worth knowing that the degree of fear is different. Sometimes it can take a lot of energy and strength, and sometimes lead to a mental disorder. Fears are different, in one of the previous articles the topic was already discussed - fear and fear of success. In this article, we will leave the specifics, look at the problem in general.

Man is born fearless. Small child not afraid to touch the fire, stumble, fall, etc. All these fears come later. Along with useful fears, useless ones are often acquired. When they become too strong, they are called phobias.

Phobia(from other Greek phobos - fear) - a strong and unfounded fear of something. This is a pronounced obsessive, panic fear. Almost everyone is prone to having obsessive fears. Exists great amount types of phobias. There is even such a species as "phobophobia" - the fear of acquiring some kind of phobia. I decided to consider the main, most common fears and at the end give general recommendations on how howget rid of phobias.

The most common phobias

Sociophobia (from Latin socius - common, joint + other Greek phobos - fear) - obsessive fear - fear of performing any public actions. Social phobia affects up to 13% of people in different periods life. In most cases, social phobia begins in school years when a child (or adolescent) is faced with a multitude of stressful situations- performance, communication with the opposite sex, etc. Social phobia is often accompanied low self-esteem and complete absence communication skills. Social phobia is a whole group of phobic phenomena. It includes such phobias as:
Acrophobia (from Greek acro - peak + phobos - fear) - an obsessive fear of heights, high places (balconies, roofs, towers, etc.). A synonym is hypsophobia (Greek hypsos height + phobos - fear). People suffering from acrophobia may experience panic attacks in a high place and are afraid to descend on their own. Scientists have proven that the fear of heights is a kind of instinct. The main symptoms of acrophobia are nausea and dizziness. Alla Pugacheva is terrified of heights.
Verminophobia (lat. vermis - worm + phobos - fear) - obsessive fear - fear of infection with some disease, microorganisms, bacteria and microbes, worms, insects. Mayakovsky was a well-known bearer of this phobia. He tried to touch door handles only with a handkerchief ... His father died from blood poisoning at one time. Scarlett Johansson prefers to clean her hotel room long before her maid arrives.
Zoophobia (from Greek zoo - animal + phobos - fear) - obsessive fear- Fear of animals, often of a certain type. The cause of zoophobia, like many other phobias, is often an accident. For example, a child may have been bitten or frightened by a large dog. It can also be taken over from another person. For example, a child sees his mother scream at the sight of a mouse and begins to associate the mouse with danger. There are a large number of varieties of zoophobia, here are just a few of them:
Claustrophobia (from Latin claustrum - closed + phobos - fear) - obsessive fear - fear of enclosed spaces, fear of enclosed spaces, confined spaces, fear of elevators ... The most common type of phobia in the world. According to statistics, 6-7% suffer from claustrophobia. This fear is accompanied by palpitations, chest pain, trembling, sweating, and dizziness; a person may even think that he has a stroke. Michelle Pfeiffer and Uma Thurman are afraid of closed spaces. Thurman had to fight this fear for the scene in "Kill Bill vol. 2" where her character is buried alive in a coffin.
Xenophobia (from the Greek kseno - alien + phobos - fear) - intolerance towards someone or something alien, unfamiliar, unusual. AT modern society xenophobia extends to a very wide range of objects, according to which the following types of xenophobia are distinguished:
Nyctophobia (from the Greek nyktos - night + phobos - fear) - obsessive fear - fear of darkness, unlit rooms. Synonym - achluophobia, scotophobia (from Greek Skotos - darkness + phobos - fear) - pathological fear of night or darkness. It is common in children and very rare in adults. The fear of the dark still haunts Jennifer Lopez and Keanu Reeves. Anna Semenovich falls asleep only with light and cannot bear the darkness. “My main phobia is the fear of the dark. True, she did not appear in childhood, as most people do. I just now began to notice that I feel uncomfortable when it’s too dark around, ”says the singer.
Pteromerhanophobia is the fear of flying. Fear of flying has been studied for about 25 years, major airlines, airports and universities are joining forces in the fight against aerophobia. For 20% of people, flying on an airplane is associated with tremendous stress. Whoopi Goldberg, Charlize Theron, Ben Affleck, Cher and Colin Farrell, Billy Bob Thornton and many other famous people suffer from fear of air travel.
Thanatophobia (from the Greek thanatos - death + phobos - fear) - obsessive fear - fear of sudden sudden death. Own fear of death can manifest itself in strong anxiety and anxiety for loved ones. Not being a synonym, next in meaning is such a disease as:
- Necrophobia (from the Greek nekros - dead + phobos - fear) - an obsessive fear of corpses, funeral accessories and processions. Vampire Slayer Sarah Michelle Gellar hates cemeteries. When filming the television series, the producers even had to create an artificial cemetery.
- Tapephobia (Greek taphe - funeral + phobos - fear) - obsessive fear - fear of being buried alive. Edgar Poe and Gogol were most afraid of being buried alive.
Eremophobia (from the Greek eremos - desert + phobos - fear) - obsessive fear - fear of deserted places or loneliness. Synonym - monophobia (eng. Dictionary of medical terms: Monophobia - fear of being left alone), autophobia, anuptaphobia, isolophobia (French isolement loneliness), eremiphobia. A lot of people suffer from this type of phobia, especially in the initial stage. Experts are inclined to believe that in childhood, such people experienced a psychological disorder (for example, as a result of weaning from their parents). At the same time, according to research center SuperJob.ru 51% of Russians think about loneliness and are afraid of it. At the same time, 17% are “unambiguously afraid”, and 34% – “rather yes”.

Experts estimate that more than 10 million people suffer from phobias, but the fear of some to admit the existence of this problem makes it difficult to figure out the exact number. Professor Robert Edelmann, who studies human phobias within the walls of the British National Society Phobia, says: "It would be strange if everyone did not have some kind of phobia, but there is a more limited circle of people who suffer from disturbing clinical cases of phobias."

How to get rid of a phobia

You can get rid of phobias, and in some cases even on your own, it is only important to correctly determine what exactly to get rid of. Recommendations will be general character because each specific fear has its own reasons.

Do not focus on negative emotions. To do this, you need to cover them with pleasant memories or activities that give pleasure, to be realized in those areas that you do best. Everyone, even the most timid little man, always has a field of confidence - that space, that time, those circumstances and conditions, that business, that person - with whom, where and when everything works out, everything is easy and nothing is scary. There is no need to achieve complete calm in any situation, to wait for fear to evaporate, that stiffness and excitement will disappear. Excitement, fighting excitement is just necessary for activity.

The fight is not with fear, but with its intensity. The more a person struggles to get rid of these obsessive thoughts, the more they take possession of him. Feeling fear is inherent in every person without exception. Fear is the oldest defensive response of all living beings to danger or its possibility. Paradoxically, but The best way to really get rid of fear is to admit that you are afraid and learn to live with this thought. Therefore, you need to recognize your fear and even immerse yourself in it, allow yourself to be afraid. And soon you will notice that its intensity gradually decreases.

Accept yourself for who you are. Every person has all the good and all the bad, every quality imaginable. Recognize yourself as a single soul - changing, developing and infinitely different in its manifestations. The fear of oneself and one's manifestations was imposed in childhood by accepting only one's "bright" image. And this is just a truncated image of reality.

Surely there are people who think that the best remedy from the emergence of obsessive fears - never be afraid of anything at all. And they will be wrong: if only because, firstly, the absence of any anxieties and fears at all is just a sign of a psychiatric disorder. And secondly, of course, a phobia is not the most pleasant phenomenon, but it is probably better to experience fear “from scratch” than to lose your life as a result of reckless prowess or stupid recklessness.

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Recognizing a person overwhelmed by fears is not at all easy. Phobias affect not only patients of psychiatric clinics, it turns out that many quite healthy people afraid of heights, depths, darkness, etc. We do not know how to eliminate fears, but they can be neutralized.

The difficulty in achieving success is due to a number of reasons. Someone does not believe in themselves, and does not know how to gain confidence in their own abilities. Some do not make enough efforts, and they do not have enough perseverance, others even lying on the stove do not know how to overcome their laziness.

There are many reasons that prevent us from achieving our goals. Today we will touch upon a problem concerning the majority, if not everyone. And this problem is phobias, fears. Not always people who experience an obsessive fear of not being able to achieve success are exemplified by the stories of many famous people. But it is worth knowing that the degree of fear is different.

Sometimes it can take a lot of energy and strength, and sometimes lead to a mental disorder. Fears are different, in one of the previous articles the topic was already discussed - fear and fear of success. In this article, we will leave the specifics, look at the problem in general. Man is born fearless. A small child is not afraid to touch fire, stumble, fall, etc. All these fears come later. Along with useful fears, useless ones are often acquired. When they become too strong, they are called phobias.

Experts estimate that more than 10 million people suffer from phobias, but the fear of some to admit the existence of this problem makes it difficult to figure out the exact number. Professor Robert Edelmann, who studies human phobias at the British National Phobia Society, says: "It would be strange if everyone did not have some kind of phobia, but there is a more limited circle of people suffering from disturbing clinical cases of phobias."

How to get rid of a phobia

You can get rid of phobias, and in some cases even on your own, it is only important to correctly determine what exactly to get rid of. The recommendations will be of a general nature, because each specific fear has its own reasons. Do not focus on negative emotions. To do this, you need to cover them with pleasant memories or activities that give pleasure, to be realized in those areas that you do best.

Everyone, even the most timid little man, always has a field of confidence - that space, that time, those circumstances and conditions, that business, that person - with whom, where and when everything works out, everything is easy and nothing is scary. There is no need to achieve complete calm in any situation, to wait for fear to evaporate, that stiffness and excitement will disappear. Excitement, fighting excitement is just necessary for activity.

The fight is not with fear, but with its intensity. The more a person struggles to get rid of these obsessive thoughts, the more they take possession of him. Feeling fear is inherent in every person without exception. Fear is the oldest defensive response of all living beings to danger or its possibility. Paradoxically, the best way to truly get rid of fear is to admit that you are afraid and learn to live with this thought. Therefore, you need to recognize your fear and even immerse yourself in it, allow yourself to be afraid. And soon you will notice that its intensity gradually decreases.

Go in for sports. Physical activity and exercise burn off excess adrenaline. Hidden bodily disturbances, as well as insufficient fullness of life, often announce themselves with failures and discords precisely at the mental level. Accept yourself for who you are. Every person has all the good and all the bad, every quality imaginable. Recognize yourself as a single soul - changing, developing and infinitely different in its manifestations. The fear of oneself and one's manifestations was imposed in childhood by accepting only one's "bright" image. And this is just a truncated image of reality.

Surely there will be people who will consider that the best remedy for the emergence of obsessive fears is to never be afraid of anything at all. And they will be wrong: if only because, firstly, the absence of any anxieties and fears at all is just a sign of a psychiatric disorder. And secondly, of course, a phobia is not the most pleasant phenomenon, but it is probably better to experience fear “from scratch” than to lose your life as a result of reckless prowess or stupid recklessness.

Getting rid of intrusive thoughts

Exceptionally reason and the ability to think distinguishes a person from other living beings. The brain has made our individual more conscious than the rest of the inhabitants of the planet. The main goal of consciousness is to create the most rational methods of responding to the world. We can be aware of one part of our thoughts because we purposefully think about something. The other we do not control, and it remains in our subconscious. We don't always notice this part of our brain's work while it creates new, much more efficient behaviors.

As a side effect, our brains, through the “creative” process, can generate some truly strange thoughts that may surprise or even alarm. I want to get rid of such ideas as quickly and efficiently as possible. Let's look at how to get rid of obsessive thoughts and achieve clarity of mind. It is not always possible to cope with this task on your own. However, there are a number of exercises, among which you can choose one or more that are optimal for yourself.

How to get rid of intrusive thoughts

First, you can try to express your emotions. If disturbing thoughts have taken possession of your mind, it is enough to list them. It is this method that the gestalt therapist Nifont Dolgopolov advises. In the event that you are haunted by thoughts like “I don’t have time to do something ...” or “I worry about something ...”, you need to remember the circumstances in which you had these feelings.

Perhaps, taking on some business, you suspected that you would not have time to finish it on time. You need to try to express your emotions very clearly. It will not be superfluous to strengthen them with body movements, shades of intonation and gestures. This procedure is best done where you will not be disturbed. Nifont Dolgopolov states that restraining emotions causes thoughts to constantly revolve around this problem. After a person has the opportunity to express his emotions, the endless cycle of thoughts stops.

The second method, which helps to get rid of obsessive thoughts, is based on correct breathing. In order for disturbing ideas to leave your head, you need to close your eyes and begin to breathe measuredly and calmly. While doing this procedure, listen to your body, follow its movements, control your breathing, watch how your stomach rises and falls.

Wellness expert Lelya Savosina, telling how to get rid of obsessive thoughts through breathing, says that during this exercise it is better to focus on bodily sensations. The procedure helps to focus on something detached and relieves tension in the muscles. Another way to get rid of obsessive thoughts is the following technique. You need to take a piece of paper and start writing on it whatever comes to your mind. No need to choose words and focus on spelling. You will be able to watch how your stroke turns from choppy and sharp to smooth.

This will mean that you are gradually reaching inner balance. Psychotherapist Alexander Orlov claims that this exercise allows you to look at experiences from a different angle and gives vent to emotions. The same practice is used in the method of free association and the method of directed imagination. The basis of psychotherapy is free and trusting communication, during which everything that disturbs and excites is said.

Staying mindful is another way to ensure that intrusive thoughts are eliminated. If a person is immersed in inner experiences, he begins to perceive worse what is happening around. This mechanism also works vice versa. Existential psychotherapist Maria Soloveichik advises focusing on the objects and events around you immediately after you notice that you are trapped in obsessive thoughts.

You can turn your eyes to the most insignificant little things like a leaf on a tree. If you do not focus on such details, you will again return to the sphere of thinking. Once you have noticed this reaction in yourself, take up careful observation again. Try to expand the field of your perception.

For example, after the leaf, start looking at the crown of the tree, switching to small details from time to time. Change your focus periodically. Let not only trees, but also people, houses, clouds and other objects fall into your field of vision. This technique can make your life much easier, as it will be much easier to deal with obsessive thoughts.

Many who are fond of psychology know that a person is constantly in one of three states of his inner "I": Parent, Child or Adult. Everyone tends to make decisions like an adult, to help and care like a parent, and to obey and act up like a child.

Doctor of Psychology Vadim Petrovsky states that the constant scrolling of obsessive thoughts is an endless communication with one of the "I". To effectively nullify the notorious internal dialogue, you should learn to understand who is in this moment speaks from these three "I". In the case when your thoughts are focused on the scenario of failure, most likely your inner voice in the form of a parent is talking to you.

Transactional analyst Isabelle Crespel argues that in such a situation, you need to get the critic to start speaking in the tone of a mentor who tells you how to do the right thing and how to make the right decision. At the same time, you need to mentally support yourself with motivating phrases like "Be sure that everything will work out", "You can do everything." Such inner mood will help to focus on constructive solutions.

Answering the question of how to distract from obsessive thoughts, it is worth mentioning another method, which is to ask yourself questions. In most cases, we are not worried about real difficulties, but only about perceived problems. The author of the “Work” methodology, psychologist Kathy Byron, advises, if it is impossible to change reality, try to change thoughts about it. She suggests asking yourself four questions: “How true is this?”, “Am I 100% sure that this is true?”, “How do I react to these thoughts?” and “Who would I be without these thoughts?”

Let's say you have no idea how to act correctly, because you think that someone will be upset or angry. By working with the above methodology, you will come to the conclusion that no one will be angry with you and that you have thought it up yourself. In another case, you may realize that thinking about someone's discontent is just an excuse for laziness and inaction. Such a technique will help to understand the relativity of many of our beliefs, change the angle of perception and discover completely unusual solutions to certain problems.

So how to remove intrusive thoughts It doesn’t always work out, you can practice meditation as a way to get rid of unnecessary worries. Yoga coach Natalya Shuvalova is sure that a person concentrates on good and bad thoughts. Meditation, on the other hand, helps us focus solely on what benefits us.

You can focus on your breath, a particular symbol, or even a sound. To begin with, it will be enough to learn to observe detachedly your feelings and mental experiences. Having previously taken a comfortable position, begin to follow all the processes that occur in your brain and body.

Let your emotions, thoughts and sensations flow by. You should not judge them, you just need to try to study them. Natalia Shuvalova says that it is very important to understand that we are able to control thoughts and emotions, and not vice versa. Observation turns off thoughts and frees the head from obsessions.

Another method that helps to overcome unnecessary ideas is the sound muting method. Alexey Sitnikov, a business consultant and Doctor of Psychology, says that we present the most important events and memories for us as vividly and picturesquely as possible.

If we imagine the stream of thoughts as a movie, then what better quality image and sound, the stronger the impact on us of a particular plot. Therefore, the most obsessive ideas and thoughts should be “viewed” with muffled sound and a fuzzy image in order to significantly reduce the level of its impact. This will greatly reduce their importance.

If exercises aimed at resolving the issue of how to get rid of intrusive thoughts do not help, it is likely that the latter have become so intense that the above methods do not give proper calm. Psychoanalyst Ksenia Korbut believes that it is correct to consider obsessive thoughts as a protective mechanism of the human psyche, helping to overcome frightening and unpredictable feelings.

They often occur in people who do not know how or are not able to show emotions. It is in such situations that a person tries to explain logically certain experiences or reduce them to something rational and understandable. In view of the fact that it is impossible to do this, we are forced to repeat them over and over again to no avail. In the event that you cannot distract yourself from obsessive thoughts, it makes sense to contact a specialist who will create the conditions for understanding the world of your own emotions.

Man is an undeniably rational being, clearly aware of own actions, however, certain reactions of his body cannot be controlled, or it takes considerable effort to do so. In particular, in moments of panic, when by the will of circumstances a person finds himself in a frighteningly difficult situation, his actions are often devoid of logic - harmless things become a source of negative emotions, the body trembles and weakens, control over thought processes is lost, as well as over any emotions. .

As a result, one has to think about how to cope with a phobia, to pacify an uncontrollable fear. Some fears are harmless, others can turn into an unbearable burden, because they become a hindrance. social life, communication, labor activity, do not allow to rejoice at pleasant trifles. The fight against phobias in a neglected form is quite complicated, but quite real - clinics and psychological centers are being created for this purpose.

Phobias cannot be triggered, but must be properly treated

Before thinking about how to get rid of a phobia, you need to be sure of its presence - first you need to distinguish such phenomena from the fear of certain events and things inherent in any person. There are four factors that make it possible to recognize an uncontrollable fear:

Significant intensity, tied to certain objects, thoughts or circumstances.
Stability, since the nature of the phenomenon under consideration is permanent, it does not go away on its own.
Unreasonableness, when uncontrollable fear arises unreasonably as a result of certain expectations.
Life restrictions - the usual fear can be overcome, however, an uncontrolled reaction forces a person to avoid participating in certain events and situations with all his might.

The fact that treatment of fears, phobias is required is signaled by a number of signs:

Hypertrophied fear, panic at the sight of a certain object or in the event of a special situation.
There is uncontrollable trembling, palpitations, sweating increases, the oral cavity dries up, a feeling of nausea and dizziness is possible.
Mental retardation and the impossibility of building a logically verified plan of action are noted.
There is an uncontrollable desire to run away as far as possible, to hide safely.
After what is seen or experienced, weakness is felt, nightmares appear and paranoia appears.

Despite the fact that psychiatrists talk about the impossibility of a complete logical explanation of fear, this statement can be disputed, since there are many methods to get rid of a phobia, which requires understanding the root cause of its occurrence. There are many varieties of fears - a person can be afraid of spiders, sharp objects, water, open spaces and other things. However, there are also the most common causes of uncontrollable fear, they include:

Fear of closed spaces claustrophobia. Accompanying the phenomenon may be a strong frequent heartbeat, pain in the chest and dizziness.
When you are afraid of heights, talk about acrophobia, in this state, a person experiences a real panic attack and is unable to think normally.
At social phobia a person experiences panic when it is necessary to perform public actions. In general, about 13% of the inhabitants of the planet suffer from this type of pathology.
At zoophobia a person is afraid of certain animals, while the phenomenon may be the result of a negative experience of communication or transmitted from other people.

Due to acrophobia, a person behaves inappropriately, being on top

The danger of the condition and the possibilities of modern therapy

Now let's talk about whether treatment of phobias is required, how much professional intervention is necessary, and how to get rid of phobias and fears on your own.
Considering that panic states, even if they do not occur too often, negatively affect the quality of life, it is necessary to ask how to cure a phobia, especially since today there are many methods to cope with this condition. The effectiveness of therapy is high both in the case of the intervention of professionals, and when conducting self-treatment, subject to the basic rule - there must be a willingness to analyze the underlying factors that provoked the development of fear and a sincere desire to eliminate it from own life. Specialists, approaching the solution of the problem, use a certain scheme of how to get rid of phobias, fears and panic states:

First stage- a clear definition of the phenomenon that causes fear, worsens the physical condition.
Second phase- work with the very cause of fear, while professionals at this stage use the methods of hypnosis, psychotherapy. Conducting special sessions helps the patient to realize and accept his fears, allows not to lose constructive thinking in case of a critical situation.
Third stage how to treat phobias - control fears in practice and the ability to make the right decisions without the desire to escape from reality.

It should be noted that when deciding how to treat phobias in adults, a specialist may use pharmaceutical drugs that help relieve nervous tension reducing the occurrence of panic attacks. However, such drugs are quite dangerous for health, their use is fraught with the risk of the formation of pharmacological dependence, so it is undesirable to get involved in them.

Solve the problem on your own

When considering how to deal with phobias and fears on your own, the most common opinion is that only a professional should deal with treatment. However, this approach is incorrect - in the case when the patient is determined to a successful outcome and believes in himself, it is possible not only to reduce the manifestations of panic fears, but also to completely get rid of them.

Phobias need to be treated by a psychotherapist

In many ways, an independent approach to how to deal with fears and phobias resembles the approach of a professional psychotherapist, excluding the technique of hypnosis. The first thing to ask is what exactly is the source of the panic attack – not justified fear, but an uncontrollable feeling. After all, fear in the usual sense is a natural instinct for self-preservation, inherent in any living creature.

After determining the source of the problem, you should master the main method that will allow you to treat phobias and fears on your own. We are talking about desensitization, which is the ability to relax at the very moment when panic begins to manifest itself. Now about how to use it - first you need to fully relax and realize your fear by determining the answers to two important questions. How bad and scary is it in reality? Is it possible that the victim is exaggerating the danger?

When considering phobias and how to deal with them on your own, relaxation deserves special attention. The desired position is horizontal, after which the auto-training session begins. To achieve the desired effect, a voice recording can be used, included if necessary. Such sessions are required not only for panic attacks, but also in a calm state, when there is no source of fear, which in the future will allow you to more quickly reach the desired state.

Very important aspect is proper breathing, which helps to restore psychological balance, reduce heart rate and pulse. In the process of relaxation, it is recommended to listen to your own breathing, while completely surrendering physical sensations, which will speed up the procedure and achieve a more complete effect.

Summing up the above, there are six stages of how to deal with phobias on your own:

analysis of the source of unreasonable fear;
awareness of fear and its acceptance;
a gradual decrease in the strength of the manifest fear;
the ability to relax in a critical situation;
restoration of breathing;
restoration of psychological balance through auto-training.

Effective techniques for dealing with pathology

Exist special techniques, which allow you to cope with a far-fetched pathological fear.

Breathing exercises help fight phobias

Consider the most effective ways to get rid of a phobia on your own using these techniques:

Shutdown negative thinking, which allows you to cope with obsession with negative points, suggests using the “electric knife switch” technique. Own fright is presented in the form of a relay that turns off with one jerk down - this process should be presented as vividly as possible in all details.
They get rid of fear with the help of breathing - inhalation supplies courage to the body, exhalation eliminates panic. In this case, after inhalation, a slight delay follows, while exhalation should be twice as long as inhalation.
It is necessary to do exactly what causes panic - in this case, a "drive" arises, a special energy that can help to realize oneself. If, for example, a person has social phobia and fear public speaking should be carried out at every opportunity.
The principle of "knocking out a wedge with a wedge" suggests using a technique based on the independent invocation of the physiological reactions corresponding to the phobia - rapid heartbeat and intermittent breathing. This approach destroys the integrity of the response to fear, resulting in the possibility of awareness and control of emotions.
The technique of "playing a theatrical role" allows you to overcome subconscious attitudes - it is necessary to portray a self-confident person, deliberately straightening his shoulders, assuming an imperial posture with his chin held high. A light smile is also needed - it is enough to linger in this state for just a few seconds so that the brain can respond to the reactions of the body and eliminate fear.

Consolidation of the received effect

In order for the panic state not to return, constant work on one's own personality and self-esteem will be required.

Focusing on the positive is the best prevention of phobias

For this, there is also a certain scheme of actions that should be followed in order to get the maximum positive effect:

all victories, even the most insignificant ones, must be recorded;
failures are carefully analyzed in order to be able to write another scenario that will be aimed at success;
it is necessary to create your own support with the construction of a support in the form of faith in science or in higher power- the main goal is to gain confidence in a successful outcome when using your own capabilities to the maximum;
a person should be focused on the positive, you can rely on the love of loved ones, a benevolent attitude towards others and the perception of a reciprocal disposition.

Fear is a natural and necessary emotion for life, or rather an affective state. Healthy fear ensures self-preservation. This is a sign of intelligence and fantasy, the desire to live. Justified fear, such as the fear of a fire due to an electrical appliance left on, is helpful. Like pain, it warns us of a possible or emerging problem. But what if the fear is out of control and interferes with life? Read on.

Like any phenomenon, fear can be viewed from two sides, positive and negative:

The negative power of fear is that, being uncontrollable or turning into anxiety, behavioral disorders and the like, it spoils the life of an individual.
The positive power of fear is that it provides development. From the fear of ignorance, schools appeared, from the fear of death and injury in road accidents, mechanics improve cars, the fear of poisoning makes us carefully process and store products.

The difference between fear and anxiety

Fear is an emotion that is closely related to another one - anxiety. Sometimes these definitions can be confused. However, there are 3 characteristics that distinguish between these concepts:

Fear is more specific, for example, there is a fear of heights. While anxiety does not have a clear outline.
Anxiety is a subjectively significant emotion. It is caused by things, values that are significant for a particular individual. Anxiety arises against the background of a threat to the personality itself, its essence, worldview.
Before anxiety, a person is often helpless. For example, if uncertainty causes anxiety during an earthquake, then a person cannot influence this.
Anxiety is a constant phenomenon, fear is caused by a specific situation.

Specificity of fear

We can distinguish between real and false fear:

The first we experience in critical situations. For example, when the car got into a snow drift and is about to roll over.
False fear - imaginary feelings about what did not happen (“What if I get into a skid?”). We need to fight against false fears.

When we experience fear, there is an increase in sensory attention and motor tension. That is, we observe more actively and are ready to quickly run (act).

Uncontrolled and unprocessed fears turn into phobias and anxieties, which provokes personality neuroticism.

Signs of fear

Signs of fear include:

anxiety;
anxiety;
jealousy;
shyness;
other subjective states;
uncertainty;
physiological changes;
avoidance of the object of discomfort.

Reasons for fear

Among the reasons are:

self-doubt and other disorders;
childhood psychological trauma;
constant stress and often recurring critical situations;
the instinct of self-preservation.

The last reason encourages normative fear.

As noted by V. A. Kostina and O. V. Doronina, fear can be hereditary. Moreover, women are more likely to have social fears, and men - the fear of heights. By inheritance, the fear of heights, darkness, fear of doctors, punishment, loss of loved ones is transmitted.

How dangerous is fear

With fear, a number of physiological changes occur in the body. The work includes the hypothalamus, pituitary gland and adrenal cortex. As a result of activation of the hypothalamus, corticotropin is produced. It in turn includes nervous system and pituitary. It triggers the adrenal glands and produces prolactin. The adrenal glands secrete cortisol. Along with this, adrenaline and norepinephrine are produced. Externally and internally, all this is manifested:

pressure increase;
increased heart rate and respiration;
opening of the bronchi;
"goose skin";
decreased blood flow to the organs of the digestive and reproductive systems;
pupil dilation;
the release of glucose into the blood;
fast burning of fats;
increased acidity in the stomach and decreased production of enzymes;
shutdown of the immune system.

That is, the body comes into tension and becomes at a low start.

At real danger it allows you to think faster, see better, hit harder, run faster. But if the fear is imaginary and constant, then the body does not benefit from everything that happens to it at this moment. That is why, against the background of fear, psychosomatic diseases develop:

stool disorders,
bronchial edema,
dyspnea,
chest pain.

Thus, there is a vicious circle. For example, you are afraid of getting sick, but against the background of fear you get sick. In addition, the more often you experience fear (stress), the less you can rationally assess the situation, which results in chronic phobias.

Just don't say that now you have a fear of fear (that was not my goal). In any case, we'll deal with it now. Read on.

The most popular fears: description and solution

One of the most popular fears is the fear of death (of one's own or loved ones). This is the most controversial phenomenon:

On the one hand, it can reach such proportions that a person will close within four walls and simply rewind the allotted time.
But on the other hand, this is a normal fear that makes us look around when we cross the road.

The only way to deal with it is to accept it. All people are mortal. It makes no sense to experience death several times in your thoughts and darken yourself with this all your life.

Other popular fears include fear of others, of oneself, of time, of fear.

Fear of others

The basis of fear is criticism, moreover, yours in the first place. To overcome this problem, try not to criticize yourself, but to praise. It is human nature to project our shortcomings or problems onto others, that is, in people we notice and scold what we do not accept in ourselves. And, as it were, we play ahead of the curve until it is noticed here. That is, we are afraid that our shortcomings will be noticed. This also includes:

pickiness;
resentment;
revenge;
unpleasant character traits (conflict, deceit, dishonesty, avoiding problems, indecision).

If you notice this in people and are afraid to experience it for yourself, then you probably already experienced it in your face a long time ago. On the same basis, there is a fear of seeming ridiculous, falling under the evil mood of someone. Solution to the problem: show yourself what you want to see in others.

Fear of self

We are talking about the fear of one's own ailments, imperfections of the body, loss of strength and the like. For such a problem, the solution is to achieve harmony of the body, brain and soul. It is very complex and wide way. Simply put, this is getting rid of psychosomatics.

Learn to listen to your body and accept the fact that it is a system capable of self-regulation, if it is not interfered with by imaginary fears. Have you ever said: “I don’t understand how I could do this. Now I won’t repeat it on purpose”? Here is the answer.

Fear of time

Learn the principle of "here and now." Fear of the passing time is often accompanied by self-flagellation due to postponing something for later or to the will of fate. You need to learn how to act and take responsibility for your actions.

Get rid of laziness.
Embrace the principle of "everything has its time," but in the context of your fulfilling your life plan and creating favorable conditions, and not waiting for the intervention of external forces.
Scroll through the situations in your head before doing something in practice (of course, only with a happy outcome).

Fear of fear

First of all, learn to call a spade a spade. Not "I'm nervous", but "I'm afraid of something". Basically, it's about the fear of the unknown. Read about overcoming it in the paragraph “From fear to freedom” of this article.

Learn to overcome your fears and use them for good. There is no need to be ashamed of fear, but you need to overcome it and resist. The optimal method in this case is the “wedge by wedge”. It's important to face your fears. If in alcoholism treatment begins with the acceptance (voicing, recognition) of the problem, then the correction of fears begins with a confrontation.
When working with fears, it is important to understand that it will not work the first time. You must be aware that it will not be easy, but it will be worth it. In case of failure, prepare an alternative plan (people with fears are best at coming up with workarounds), but use it only as a plan B.
Pretend you're not afraid of anything. Imagine that you have to play a role on stage. After a while, your brain will believe that you really are not afraid of anything.
Fears about the future are the least justified. You create your own future, so pay attention to the present. Fears about him are much more justified. By torturing yourself with something from the future, you spoil your whole life. You exist, you don't live.
Accept the fact that our life consists of white and black stripes, sometimes gray. Troubles, difficulties and uncertainties will often appear. It is important not to be afraid to face it, but to be sure that you can handle it. To do this, you need to be the master of your life.
Most fears come from childhood. But, firstly, a child and an adult perceive the same things in different ways. Second, often fear or disagreement with specific person projected onto the object. For example, you have problems in your relationship with your parents, but you are afraid of the dark (you were once locked in a closet). Then there is only one solution - to let go or discuss grievances.
Have you noticed that fears are always directed to the future (even if they are based on the experience of the past), and fears develop through imagination? So why not redirect your forces, for example, to creativity? Learn to switch attention. Understand that working through future events that most likely will not happen, you spend real physical, intellectual and psychological strength. Don't you feel sorry for this?
Fear of the unknown is the most unjustified. You do not yet know the object (phenomenon) itself, so how do you know that you need to be afraid of it? Try it. Haven't been on a plane? Try it. And then decide whether you will be afraid or not.

I want to make a reservation that you can not rush into the pool with your head and neglect your safety. That is, living a full life without fear does not mean going snowboarding, getting hurt and remaining disabled. Living without fear means making decisions yourself and being responsible for them, understanding all the risks and possible consequences.

The body is able to heal itself. Your task is to bring him out of a state of eternal tension. And that's what relaxation is for. We are talking about conscious relaxation of the body, replacing negative emotions with positive ones. But once again I remind you that you need to get rid of only unhealthy fear.

Plan of Healing

To overcome fear, you need to consistently solve a number of problems.

Change faith in the bad (this is fear) to faith in the good. There is a recipe for everyone here: someone turns to nature, someone to spirits, God, their own old pleasant memories.
Next, find support in someone and give it yourself.
Learn to listen to your body and trust your intuition.
Find the root cause of false fear.
Make up your recipe for courage. These are detailed aspirations (desires) and ways to achieve them. It is important to describe not only what needs to be done, but also what you can do.
Refocus attention from the result to the process.

You can read about each of these points and how to do them in L. Rankin's book Healing from Fear. The paper gives practical recommendations on meditation, the search for inner strength, the development of courage. For each element (beliefs, courage, search for causes, etc.), a whole list of techniques with a description is presented. The author presented so many techniques in one edition that I think you will definitely find something for yourself there.

From fear to freedom

If you are still reading this article, you probably found yourself in a persistent captivity of your own fears and are looking for a way to freedom. Right? Well, he is. Includes 5 items:

Exit from the unconscious. It takes more energy to avoid the risk than the risk itself. A person is driven by the thought “better reliability than regrets.” In order to step over this stage, ask yourself the question: is your comfort zone really the same for you? Imagine who you could be if it wasn't for your fears.
Getting out of your perceived comfort zone. At this stage, a person is driven by the belief that uncertainty is the only constant and clear in his life. That is, a person understands that he infringes on himself, but remains in the old place. At this stage, it is important to stimulate yourself with praise. You are a brave person and will be able to get out of your zone.
At the third stage, a person is not afraid of uncertainty, but does not look for it either. Doubt more, be curious.
The search for the uncertain, the unknown, the new. Learn to see possibilities.
Acceptance of uncertainty as such (in the concept of the world). Realize that anything can happen, but any event has a meaning.

The fifth stage is the final one. This is the very freedom without fears that you need to enjoy. However, this is the most unstable stage. Your freedom must be constantly reinforced and maintained by practice. Otherwise it is easy to lose it.

Emergency help

If fear caught you by surprise, then quickly find inner strength can be done with attention shifting. As you become aware of your fear, direct your attention to your most intense passion, desire. Focus on it. Want it so much that there is no room for fear. Even if the objects of passion and fear are from different "worlds". Convince yourself that you will quickly deal with what scares you, and then do what you want.
The second way to quickly overcome fear is to imagine what it deprives you of. Usually people evaluate only one side: what fear saves them from. Imagine how much fear stifles your potential, your individuality, originality.
Practice self-indulgence. Repeat daily in front of a mirror, “I am the master of my life. Everything that happens (both good and bad) depends on me. There is no place for fear, as well as meaning in it.
If the fear is clearly defined, then thoroughly study all its aspects. Look him in the face. Find the positives.
The most non-standard and categorical method of struggle is concern about the consequences of anxiety. This is a dubious way, but it exists. Imagine how the situation will worsen from your experiences (after reading this article, you know what your body experiences during a period of fear). Oddly enough, from the realization of "playing against yourself" you will calm down. But I must say right away that the method is not suitable for everyone. You can go into even more self-torture. Be careful!

Childhood fears

Despite the individual nature of fears (although, as we remember, they are not as subjective as anxiety), they are based on the actual need of age. Therefore, we can generally classify fears by age:

Up to six months - fear of sharp and loud sounds and movements, loss of support.
From six months to a year - fear of dressing up, changing habitual, strangers, heights.
From a year to two - fear of doctors, injuries, separation from parents.
From two to three years - fear of the dark, parental rejection, animals, loneliness, nightmares.
From three to seven years - fear of insects, water, heights, fairy-tale characters, misfortunes, disasters, fires, schools.
School period - fear of harsh sounds, death, physical violence, loss of loved ones. Along with this, social fears arise that persist in the future (fear of being late, not coping with the task, getting punished). If you do not work out these fears, then there will be a fear of not living up to expectations, of looking stupid; relationship problems.

Age fears are normative if the child does not drop out of life (sociable, open). They will pass on their own. But if the child avoids communication, is constantly scared and worried, then professional correction is needed.

Children's fears can be imitative or personal. In the first case - copying someone's behavior, in the second - their emotions under the influence of difficult situations.

In addition, fears can be short-term (up to 20 minutes), quickly passing (leave after a conversation), protracted (up to 2 months, even with corrective work).

Children's fears: what to do?

You can fight children's fears with the help of fairy tale therapy. As part of this, I recommend that you familiarize yourself with the book by R. M. Tkach “Fairytale Therapy of Children's Problems”. In the work one can find not only a description of the method, but also the material (plots) of the fairy tales themselves.

Do not shame the child for fears, but ask about them. For example, what he saw, and how it looked, what it came for.
Accept the child's fear and tell a real or fictional story of personal fear and overcoming it.
Do not close the child in a dark room for the sake of punishment, do not scare the child with Baba Yaga or the "evil uncle" who will take him away. This is a direct path to neuroses and fears.
Ask what the child is watching or reading. Discuss it together.
To overcome specific fears, use fairy tale therapy or ridicule of fears.

Ridicule involves the visualization of fear (on a piece of paper) with the subsequent addition of funny (for a child) elements to it.

I also recommend the book by S. V. Bedredinova and A. I. Tascheva “Prevention and correction of fears: tutorial". It presents many practical options for therapy with children to overcome fears. Listing methods here, I think, does not make sense. The manual describes both puppet therapy, and art therapy, and a correction program, and much more (with indications and contraindications for each method, features of the implementation). The phenomenon of children's fears themselves is also described.

Results and literature on the topic

Fear is the echo of the animal in man, the primitive. Previously, this emotion was justified even when it was constant. But in modern world it prevents a person from living. The situation is even more aggravated if fear is intertwined with anxiety, shame, guilt and other emotions.

The danger of fear is not contrived. It not only creates psychological discomfort, but also destroys the body on a physical level. In part, the phrase “Whoever is afraid of something will happen to him” is true. And this is not about the supreme forces, the attraction of misfortunes and ailments. The point is that, experiencing fear, our body radically changes its work: there is an excess of hormones (with prolonged excessive influence, they provoke imbalance and intoxication, destruction of organs), digestive and reproductive system fade into the background, the activity of the cardiovascular system is gaining momentum. A person can actually get sick.

It is necessary to get rid of fear (I remind you, false fear). But only children's fears can go away on their own. Adults will have to consciously break themselves, rebuild their belief systems, challenge themselves constantly, make a plan of action.

I recommend reading another book: D. T. Mangan "The Secret of an Easy Life: How to Live Without Problems." The author reveals his own concept, according to which we are a complex mechanism that requires flogs to enable or disable systems. The book is a practical guide to restructuring your thinking, including getting rid of fears. For each problem, Mangan suggests using a unique password. These are the words to be used in difficult situations. And from them, supposedly, the situation will turn in your favor. I myself have not tried this approach, so I can’t say anything good or bad. But in my opinion, the very idea of the concept is interesting.

In the fight against fears, as in any business, the main thing is the beginning! You yourself will not notice how the fight will become easier. Gradually it will no longer be a struggle. Well, the result is in the form of complete mental freedom - highest award. I wish you success in the fight against inner demons!

Everyone experiences anxiety or fear from time to time. This is normal, but only if fear and anxiety do not follow too often and for any reason. In this case, a person cannot lead a normal life, because negative emotions don't let him live in peace. Let's see what needs to be done to get rid of fear and anxiety, and what psychologists say about this.

Anxiety and fear are natural emotions that nature has given to man. In a difficult situation, they help him by mobilizing physical and mental resources, and in a moment of danger they can even save his life.

But in some people, these negative states appear as if for no reason. In fact, there is a reason, it's just hidden deep in the subconscious. For example, people who have experienced severe hardship or severe shocks begin to fear that a similar situation may repeat itself in the future.

Pessimists are also often anxious and afraid. A negative outlook on life makes a person expect a bad outcome of almost any event. And if this really happens, the pessimist is even more established in the correctness of his way of thinking, thereby strengthening his tendency to negative experiences.

Symptoms of anxiety and fear

When a person begins to worry or be afraid of something, he experiences not only negative emotions, but also certain physiological reactions. His muscles tighten, his heart rate and pulse quicken, there is a feeling of chills and lack of air in his chest. Hands begin to tremble, sweating intensifies. At the same time, obsessive thoughts swarm in the head, the imagination draws all sorts of unpleasant pictures, reinforcing the feeling of anxiety.

It is often difficult for a person to determine exactly what emotions he is experiencing. Anxiety is characterized by an unpleasant painful feeling in the chest, in the region of the heart, the expectation of trouble. Fear leads to a state of panic, in which a person turns off rational thinking. He cannot calmly sit down and analyze the situation, he is simply afraid and panicking.

If experiences do not leave a person for a long time, his appetite worsens or completely disappears, sleep becomes superficial and intermittent, he wakes up at night and cannot fall asleep for a long time. Some people, on the contrary, increase their appetite, and they try to "seize" their negative emotions.

The state of chronic stress takes away strength, so a person feels exhausted and tired. All this cannot but affect his life. If you do not get rid of the feeling of fear and anxiety in a timely manner, there is a danger that they will develop into a real mental disorder. Therefore, psychologists advise learning to cope with negative experiences on your own.

Ways to deal with fear and anxiety

Almost every person is able to overcome fears and anxiety, negative emotions and experiences. This is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. You just need to set a goal and follow the advice of psychologists. So, let's look at the most effective recommendations of specialists that can be applied at home.

Find the reason for your feelings. If you want to get rid of anxiety and worry, be sure to find their cause. Think about the exact situation that scares you. Maybe you're afraid of heights, crowds, talking to strangers, or speaking in front of an audience. Remember when your fear first manifested itself, in what situation it happened.
Don't hide from your fear, don't deny it. If you honestly acknowledge his presence in your life, it will become easier to deal with him.
Learn to relax. Anxious states make you be in constant tension, take away energy and strength. Therefore, it is very important to learn how to relax. To do this, you can use any methods: a warm bath, a walk in the park, an evening jog on fresh air yoga or meditation classes, breathing exercises listening to pleasant, soothing music. Try to distract yourself from the experiences that torment you and give yourself up to the chosen occupation.
Discuss your fears with a loved one. There is nothing better than talking about your worries to someone you trust. It could be close relative or a friend to whom you can open your soul. Tell what worries and worries you and listen to the opinion of the interlocutor. Very often, after such a conversation, a person begins to treat his problem more calmly, and feelings lose their sharpness.
Put your thoughts on paper. If you don't have someone you can trust, don't despair. Keep a diary and write down all your negative experiences. So it will be easier for you to understand yourself and understand what exactly worries you and in what situations fear manifests itself most strongly.
Laugh and smile more often. Bring into your life more humor. Watch comedies or humorous shows, read jokes, search the Internet for different funny jokes. It's good to do this with friends. So you can laugh a lot, relieve stress and forget about your worries for a while.
Don't sit idle. When a person is not busy with anything, negative experiences begin to attack him, and gloomy thoughts spin in his head and do not allow him to relax. The best thing to do in similar situation- get down to business. Do whatever you want: clean the apartment, cook delicious dinner, pay attention to your husband or wife, play with your child, go to the store.
Set aside time for fear and anxiety. Most likely, you will not be able to constantly keep your experiences under control. This is not necessary. Set aside 20-30 minutes a day for them. At this time, let your imagination paint the most terrible pictures. Give free rein to your anxiety, give in to it completely. Don't analyze your emotions, just experience them. When the allotted time is over, return to your normal activities. If anxiety begins to overcome you during the day, simply write down the thoughts that disturb you on paper, and in the allotted time you can worry.
Don't dwell on the past. If you have had unpleasant situations in the past that caused inner fear or anxiety, your thoughts may often return to these events. Don't let them. The past has already passed and it is not at all a fact that the negative scenario will repeat itself again. Relax, calm your nerves and live in the moment.
Get into visualization. As soon as your imagination begins to draw scary pictures of possible events for you, immediately, by an effort of will, switch it to a positive direction. Brightly and in detail imagine the most successful outcome of the situation that worries you. Visualize until you feel that the anxiety has left you or at least significantly decreased. Psychologists and esotericists claim that regular positive visualization can influence life circumstances, turning them in the desired direction.
Don't plan ahead. Usually, before an important event, people think over their every step, rehearse actions and words. If you are very anxious, then let your actions be spontaneous. Very often they turn out to be much more effective than planned. Trust the situation and act according to the circumstances.
Don't feed your fears. If you have a tendency to over-anxiety, try to read or watch news, crime reports and other information on TV as little as possible, which will only exacerbate existing fears and create fertile ground for the emergence of new ones.
Change your eating habits. Some foods that you eat tend to exacerbate anxiety. This includes tea, coffee and alcohol. Reduce the amount of these foods in your diet or eliminate them altogether. By the way, an excessive passion for sweets also increases anxiety, because with an increase in blood sugar, a person has an unreasonable feeling of anxiety.
Communicate with people. If you feel that you are beginning to be overwhelmed by anxiety, do not sit alone. Go to a crowded place - cinema, theater, concert or exhibition. Meet your friends more often. Give preference to live communication, but if this is not possible, do not neglect talking on the phone, Skype, correspondence on the Internet.
Use affirmations, mantras, mudras. In esoteric literature, you can find many effective means to combat negative experiences. One of the most popular are Sytin's moods. You can use ready-made texts or create your own based on them.

Helping a Psychologist to Deal with Anxiety

If you've tried all of the above methods of dealing with anxiety, but have not achieved anything, don't get discouraged. It is better to seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist.

Often the roots of increased anxiety lie so deep in the subconscious that a person cannot find them on his own. The task of a psychologist is to help a person understand the causes of fear, remove them from the subconscious and teach him to overcome anxiety.

Some people are embarrassed to seek help from a psychologist. Do not do this. After all, you are not shy about a therapist or dentist, and a psychologist is the same specialist, only in the field of mental, not bodily problems. He will help you deal with your fears and give useful recommendations.

If you can't manage your anxiety, ask your therapist to prescribe anti-anxiety medication for you. You can also use folk remedies. Drink decoctions of medicinal herbs that have a sedative effect. This includes mint, lemon balm, valerian root, motherwort, chamomile.

Overcoming fears and anxiety - a step to victory

If you have anxiety or fear, don't be ashamed of it. Many people are afraid of something, but most of them try to overcome and remove their fears and, as a rule, they manage to win. Try it too.

Remember that negative emotions such as anxiety and fear can be turned into a positive direction by making them work for you. Many famous people succeeded in life precisely because of their fear, which mobilized them, forcing them to work and go to new heights.

Doctors, scientists, athletes, poets, writers, artists and representatives of many other professions were afraid of being unrecognized, they were afraid of defeat and ridicule from other people, and these experiences helped them overcome difficulties and go towards their goal, making every effort to achieve it.

As you can see, anxiety and fear can be turned from enemies into your allies. Work on yourself, and you will definitely cope with your negative experiences.