Good manners in speaking. Rules for invitation, offer, request, consent and refusal

In order to always be on top and not lose face, it is worth knowing the basic rules of speech etiquette “perfectly”. In the Russian language, as in any other culture of the world, there are certain subtleties and features of speech etiquette. Yes, there are not so few of them. However, knowing the rules of behavior in various speech situations will help you brilliantly make speeches, negotiate, and conduct personal conversations. You will learn how to negotiate and avoid various incidental situations that may cast doubt on your reputation.

What is speech etiquette?

It is worth starting with what the term “speech etiquette” itself means. Do I need to draw up rules of speech etiquette for myself, or is there some specific written set of norms?

In short, speech etiquette refers to the ability to communicate politely and tactfully.

If in Everyday life If you constantly use these rules, you will easily be able to build good relationships with colleagues, neighbors, relatives, partners, friends, etc.

In short, the speech culture of behavior is not only a set of certain norms. It is also everyday communication. In some way, this is also a litmus test, which allows you to determine at the first communication how literate a person is, how polite, tactful. The level of speech etiquette helps to assess the social status and level of human development.

Despite the fact that every country, every culture has its own rules that help us understand what kind of person it is, it is very difficult to identify all the rules of speech etiquette - there are so many of them.

Basic rules of speech etiquette

The main, basic rules of speech etiquette in Russian are varied. But it will not be difficult for you to understand them if you grew up in this country and the basic formulations or “starting formulas” were instilled in you from childhood. What it is? In fact, everything is not so difficult.

Under the starting formulas, linguists and psychologists usually mean a habit:

• greet the interlocutor correctly and in accordance with the situation;

• be sure to say goodbye;

• to thank for the offered help;

• apologize.

Such norms have been adopted by many early age. But over the years, a person develops his own rules of speech etiquette, which he strives to strictly follow. What is it expressed in? It’s not at all that adults can be rude to an interlocutor or utter a bad word. Not at all! With experience, a person learns to politely maintain a conversation, even if he is not familiar with the topic.

It is important here not to abruptly interrupt the conversation and not to refuse it. This is uncivilized! Also, over the years, we learn to correctly and correctly express our point of view. Even if it does not correspond to generally accepted standards, it is important to communicate it politely.

The main stages of each speech situation

Following the basic rules of speech etiquette, each person must understand that any conversation is divided into 3 stages:

1. Introduction (or greeting).
2. Main part.
3. Conclusion.

Each of the stages has certain features. It would seem that everyone knows what rules of speech etiquette "work" in the first part of the conversation. Still, it wouldn't hurt to repeat them. It is very important to choose the right phrases for greetings. They depend on your interlocutor. His age, social status, gender should be taken into account. But there are no clear boundaries and restrictions here. That is, you can say “Good morning!”, “Hello!”, “Hello!”. The first and last options are universal. They apply in every situation. After all, their meaning indicates a polite attitude. "Hi!" and similar phrases are permissible only in dialogue with friends and some relatives.

Also, there are no uniform formulas for communication in the main part of the conversation. A lot depends on the situation, the goals of the conversation and many other factors. To determine the line of conduct and the rules of speech etiquette, you need to know the facts, that is, the interlocutor himself and the essence of the conversation.

Another important aspect- Well-formed conclusion. Here, too, there are certain subtleties. According to general norms, it is customary to say the words of farewell and discuss the possibility of the next meeting. There are also generic phrases here. If you do not know how to end a conversation in a given situation, then use the generally accepted wording. These may be variants of "All the best!" or "Goodbye!".

Principles of speech etiquette

Speech etiquette is based on certain principles. There is nothing difficult in their comprehension, since all these are generally accepted moral principles and values.

Accordingly, when conducting any conversation, you should rely on a respectful attitude towards the interlocutor, do not interrupt him, do not raise your voice, do not shout, do not insult, do not speak in parallel.

It would seem that everything is elementary simple. But it is still worth highlighting the basic principles of the rules of speech behavior in Russian:

• brevity;

• politeness;

• accuracy;

• literacy;

• relevance.

Here are the main components of successful communication in a business environment and in everyday interpersonal interaction.

Goodwill and readiness for mutual cooperation - these are the basics of etiquette. If you follow these laws, then pleasant communication is guaranteed to you. In addition, this approach provides an opportunity to clearly agree on productive cooperation.

It is important to be able to select phrases that are appropriate in a given situation. In this case, it is required to take into account the social status and age of the interlocutor. Don't forget how familiar you are with him.

Also, your speech should always be filled with meaning. Empty phrases, behind which there is nothing, are a clear manifestation of disrespect for the interlocutor. Try to avoid using them. Let your speech be informative.

As for literacy, this condition is one of the most important. To pass for a cultured person, it is worth using words correctly depending on their meaning and the context of the conversation. Don't forget about accents. Unfortunately, many people sin by the fact that even in the most simple words shift the emphasis to the wrong vowels.

Brief but important requirements of speech etiquette

If you decide to strictly follow the rules of speech etiquette, then you should consider several important requirements:

These are only the most important, basic rules of speech etiquette. Use them in your daily life and it will become more pleasant and easier!

It is important for a modern person to have a certain culture and behave correctly with others, regardless of their social status. To do this, his speech must be correct and polite, follow the rules of speech etiquette.

A good interlocutor is someone who can listen carefully without interrupting and listen respectfully, sincerely empathize and be interested in the story.

What does it mean to be able to persuade a business partner to your point of view and influence him so that he does what is necessary in your interests, while respecting his own interests, that is, it is the ability to find mutual language with your partner.

The specificity of speech etiquette is that it characterizes both everyday language practice and the language norm. Indeed, any native speaker (including those who have a poor command of the norm) uses the rules of speech etiquette in everyday life, easily recognizing these formulas in the flow of speech and expecting the interlocutor to use them in certain situations. The elements of speech etiquette are assimilated so deeply that they are perceived by the "naive" linguistic consciousness as part of the everyday, natural and regular behavior of people. With ignorance of the rules and requirements of speech etiquette, and their failure to comply (for example, addressing an adult stranger to You), others may perceive how they want to offend, as bad manners.

The basis of speech etiquette is speech formulas, an example of a character that depends on the situation and on the characteristics of communication. Any act of communication has a beginning, main part and final part. In this regard, speech etiquette formulas can be divided into 3 main groups:

1. Speech formulas to start communication;

2. Speech formulas used in the process of communication;

3. Speech formulas for ending communication.

Rules and norms of speech etiquette at the beginning of communication: appeal, greeting.

Appeal is one of the most important and necessary components of speech etiquette. After all, the appeal is an integral part of communication, is used throughout the communication.

From time immemorial, conversion has performed several functions. The main one is to attract the attention of the interlocutor. This is a vocative function.

Since, as addresses, both proper names and names of people are used according to the degree of kinship (father, uncle, grandfather), by position in society, by profession, by position, by age and gender (old man, boy, girl), the appeal in addition to the vocative function indicates the corresponding feature.

So, appeals can be expressive and emotionally colored, contain an assessment: Irochka, Irka, muddler, well done, well done. The peculiarity of such appeals lies in the fact that they characterize both the addressee and the addressee himself, the degree of his upbringing, his attitude towards the interlocutor, emotional condition. The given address words are used in informal communication; only some of them, for example, proper names (in their basic form), names of professions, positions, serve as appeals in official speech.

Greeting: If the interlocutors are unfamiliar with each other, then they begin communication with an acquaintance. This can happen both directly and indirectly. According to the rules of good manners, it is not customary to enter into a conversation with a stranger and introduce yourself. However, there are situations when it is still necessary to introduce yourself. Etiquette suggests some formulas:

Let me get to know you (you).

I would like to meet you (you).

Let me (those) get to know you (you).

I would be glad to meet you (you).

Let's get acquainted.

Let's get acquainted.

When visiting any institution, office, when you have a conversation with an official, you need to introduce yourself using one of the formulas:

Allow (permit) me to introduce myself.

My name is Alexander Gennadievich.

Mikhail Sidorov.

Ekaterina Ivanova.

If the visitor does not name himself, then the one to whom they came asks himself:

What is your (your) last name?

What is your (your) name, patronymic?

What is your (your) name?

What is your (your) name?

Formal and informal meetings of acquaintances, and sometimes strangers start with a hello.

In Russian, the main greeting is hello. It comes to us from the Old Church Slavonic verb "hello", which means "to be healthy", i.e. healthy. Also, in addition to this form of greeting, a greeting is common that indicates the time of the meeting: good morning, good afternoon, good evening.

The speech etiquette of greetings also provides for the nature of behavior, that is, the sequence of greetings. Welcome first:

A man is a woman;

The youngest (youngest) in age - the oldest (oldest);

The youngest woman is a man who is significantly

older than her;

Junior in position - senior;

A member of the delegation - its leader (regardless of whether the failure of the legation or foreign).

The initial formulas of communication are opposed by the formulas used at the end of communication. These are formulas for parting, ending communication. They wish:

All the best (good) to you!

Goodbye;

I hope for a new meeting: Until the evening (tomorrow, Friday). I hope we're apart for a while. I hope to see you soon.

Speech etiquette, one way or another, is connected with the situation of speech communication and its parameters: the personalities of the interlocutors, topic, place, time, motive and goals of communication. First of all, it is a complex of linguistic phenomena that are focused on the addressee, although the personality of the speaker (or writer) is also taken into account. It's possible the best way demonstrate on the use of You - and You - forms in communication. General principle is that you is a form that is used as a sign of respect and greater formality of communication; You - this form, on the contrary, is used in informal communication between equal in age, position. However, the implementation of this principle may be various options depending on how the participants in verbal communication correlate according to the age and / or service hierarchy, whether they are in family or friendly relations; on the age and social status of each of them, etc.

Speech etiquette is found in different ways. It depends on the topic, place, time, motive and purpose of communication. So, for example, the rules of verbal communication may differ depending on whether the topic of communication is a sad or joyful event for the participants in communication; there are specific etiquette rules associated with the place of communication.

Speech etiquette provides for several beginnings, which are determined by the situation. The most common are 3 situations: solemn, working, mournful. The solemn ones include public holidays, anniversaries of the enterprise and employees, receiving awards, birthdays, name days and significant dates of the family or its members, presentation, conclusion of an agreement, creation new organization etc. For each solemn event, a significant date, invitations and congratulations follow. Depending on the situation (official, semi-official, unofficial), invitation and congratulatory clichés change.

Invitation:

Allow (allow), I will invite you .;

Come to the holiday (anniversary, meeting ..).

Congratulation:

Please accept my (most) cordial (warm, sincere) congratulations ..;

On behalf of (on behalf of) congratulations;

Sincerely (warmly) congratulations.

As in many other situations of interpersonal communication, congratulations should be extremely correct, appropriate and sincere. Congratulation is a society-accepted ritual of respect and joy for a loved one, native person, but this is by no means a way of conducting a conversation or correspondence; congratulations should not contain purely personal topics and questions of the addressee of congratulations.

A sad situation is associated with death, death, murder and other events that bring misfortune, grief. In this case, condolences are expressed. It should not be dry, state-owned.

Condolence formulas, as a rule, are stylistically elevated, emotionally colored:

I want to express (to you) my (my) sincere condolences.

I offer you my deepest condolences.

I share (understand) your sadness (your grief, misfortune).

The listed reasons (invitation, congratulations, condolences, expressions of sympathy) do not always turn into business conversation sometimes the conversation ends with them.

In a daily business environment (business, work situation), speech etiquette formulas are also used. For example, when summing up the results of work, when determining the results of the sale of goods, it becomes necessary to thank someone or, conversely, make a remark. At any job, in any organization, someone may need to give advice, make a suggestion, make a request, express consent, allow, prohibit, refuse someone.

Here are the speech clichés that are used in these situations.

Gratitude:

Let me (let me) thank you;

The firm (management, administration) expresses its gratitude to all employees for…

In addition to official thanks, there are also ordinary, unofficial thanks. This is an ordinary “thank you”, “thank you”, “you are very kind”, “no thanks”, etc.

Politeness and understanding.

Consider the relationship between such phenomena as etiquette and politeness. Since politeness is one of the concepts of morality, let's turn to the Dictionary of Ethics, which defines politeness as follows: "... a moral quality that characterizes a person for whom respect for people has become a daily norm of behavior and a habitual way of dealing with others." So politeness is a sign of respect. Politeness is both a readiness to render a service to someone who needs it, and delicacy, and tact. And, of course, timely and appropriate speech manifestation - speech etiquette - is an integral element of politeness.

If politeness is a form of showing respect for another, then respect in itself implies recognition of the dignity of the individual, as well as a sensitive and delicate attitude towards another.

Rules and norms of speech etiquette at the end of communication: farewell, summary and compliments.

End of communication: At the end of the conversation, the interlocutors use the formulas of parting, ending communication. They wish:

All the best to you!;

Goodbye!;

Hope for a new meeting (Until the evening (tomorrow, Sunday);

I hope for a short break. I hope to see you soon.

In addition to the usual forms of farewells, there is a long-established ritual of a compliment. A tactfully and timely compliment, it cheers up the addressee, sets up a positive attitude towards the interlocutor.

A compliment is said at the beginning of a conversation, at a meeting, acquaintance or during a conversation, at parting. A compliment is always nice. Only an insincere compliment is dangerous, a compliment for the sake of a compliment, an overly enthusiastic compliment. The compliment refers to the appearance, speaks of the good professional abilities of the addressee, his high morality, gives an overall positive assessment:

You look good (remarkable).

You are (so, very) charming (amiable, beautiful, practical).

You are a good (excellent, excellent) specialist.

It is a pleasure (excellent, good) to do business with you (work, cooperate).

It was very nice to meet you!

You are a very nice (interesting) person (interlocutor).

When parting and parting, according to custom, there are verbal clichés. They are called instructions. They originate from antiquity, when they were almost spells, for example, "gully way", "no fluff, no feather", etc. It was believed that a happy road or the success of some business depends on the parting word. Now parting words have been simplified: “Goodbye”, “All the best”, “Farewell”, “Be healthy”.

Features of speech etiquette in remote communication: communication using the phone, the Internet.

Scientific and technological progress has introduced a new culture of communication into etiquette - communication using the phone. ON THE. Akishina in her book "Speech Etiquette of Russian Telephone Conversation" writes:

“The etiquette of a telephone conversation requires a short flow of time, which is caused by the following reasons: the impossibility of talking with many subscribers at once, unexpectedly and unplanned, the daily routine of the addressee of the call is violated, the phone is designed to resolve urgent issues, the time of the telephone conversation is paid.

As can be seen from the above, telephone conversation is a form of oral spontaneous dialogue carried out with the help of technical means.

Unlike contact oral speech communication, a telephone conversation is indirect. The interlocutors do not see each other, and therefore communication takes place without such important means of non-verbal communication as somatisms (gestures, posture, facial expressions, facial expressions), reliance on the situation, the significance of the spatial location of the interlocutors, and this leads to the activation of verbal expression.

Among the etiquette requirements for oral speech, an important place is occupied by the intonation of the statement. A native speaker can accurately determine the entire range of intonations - from emphatically polite to dismissive. Although to determine which intonation corresponds to speech etiquette, and which goes beyond it, in general view, without taking into account the specific speech situation is unlikely to succeed. The same statements uttered with different intonation express different oppositions: in meaning, in actual articulation, in stylistic nuances, and, among other things, in expressing the attitude of the speaker to the listener.

This relation can determine which intonational construction should be used in this case, and which should not. So, in accordance with the rules of etiquette, intonation should not indicate a dismissive or patronizing attitude, the intention to teach the interlocutor, aggression and defiance. This is especially true for various kinds of interrogative statements.

In addition to intonation, oral speech distinguishes from written use of paralinguistic signs - gestures and facial expressions. From the point of view of speech etiquette, the following paralinguistic signs are distinguished: they do not carry a specific etiquette load; required by etiquette rules (bows, handshakes, etc.); having an invective, offensive meaning.

At the same time, the regulation of gestures and facial expressions covers not only the last two categories of signs, but also signs of a non-etiquette character - up to purely informative ones; cf., for example, the etiquette prohibition to point a finger at the subject of speech.

In addition to all this, the requirements of speech etiquette can apply to the paralinguistic level of communication in general. For example, in Russian speech etiquette, it is prescribed to refrain from too lively facial expressions and gestures, as well as from gestures and facial movements that mimic elementary physiological reactions.

At the same time, it is essential that the same gestures and facial movements can have different meaning in different linguistic cultures.

Conclusions on the first chapter

Each native speaker should strive to improve their own speech culture, you need to know and understand means of expression of the Russian language, knowing how to use them, being able to use the stylistic and semantic riches of the Russian language in all its structural diversity. When applying speech etiquette, social information is transmitted about the speaker and his addressee, about whether they are familiar or unfamiliar, about official and social status, about personal relationships, about the setting in which the conversation is being conducted (in official or informal), etc.

Any society at any moment of its existence is heterogeneous, many-sided, and that for each layer and layer there is both its own set of etiquette means and neutral expressions common to all. And there is an awareness that in contacts with a different environment, it is necessary to choose either stylistically neutral or means of communication characteristic of this environment.

student speech etiquette teacher

- I'm sorry!

Unfortunately, we often hear this form of address. Speech etiquette and communication culture- not very popular concepts in modern world. One will consider them too decorative or old-fashioned, the other will find it completely difficult to answer the question of what forms of speech etiquette are found in his daily life.

Meanwhile, the etiquette of speech communication plays a crucial role for the successful activity of a person in society, his personal and, building strong family and friendships.

The concept of speech etiquette

Speech etiquette is a system of requirements (rules, norms) that explain to us how to establish, maintain and break contact with another person in a certain situation. Norms of speech etiquette very diverse, each country has its own characteristics of the culture of communication.

• speech etiquette - a system of rules

It may seem strange why you need to develop special rules of communication, and then stick to them or break them. And yet, speech etiquette is closely related to the practice of communication, its elements are present in every conversation. Compliance with the rules of speech etiquette will help you correctly convey your thoughts to the interlocutor, quickly reach mutual understanding with him.

Mastery speech etiquette requires knowledge in the field of various humanitarian disciplines: linguistics, psychology, cultural history and many others. For a more successful mastering of the skills of a culture of communication, such a concept is used as speech etiquette formulas.

Speech etiquette formulas

The basic formulas of speech etiquette are learned at an early age, when parents teach the child to say hello, say thank you, and ask for forgiveness for tricks. With age, a person learns more and more subtleties in communication, masters various styles of speech and behavior. The ability to correctly assess the situation, start and maintain a conversation with a stranger, correctly express one's thoughts, distinguishes a person of high culture, educated and intelligent.

Speech etiquette formulas- these are certain words, phrases and set expressions used for the three stages of conversation:

• start a conversation (greeting/introduction)
• main part
• final part of the conversation

Starting a conversation and ending it

Any conversation, as a rule, begins with a greeting, it can be verbal and non-verbal. The sequence of greeting also matters, the younger one greets the elder first, the man - the woman, the young girl - the adult man, the junior - the senior. We list in the table the main forms of greeting the interlocutor:

AT end of conversation use formulas for ending communication, parting. These formulas are expressed in the form of wishes (all the best, all the best, goodbye), hopes for further meetings (see you tomorrow, I hope to see you soon, we'll call you), or doubts about further meetings (goodbye, do not remember dashingly).

The main part of the conversation

After the greeting, the conversation begins. Speech etiquette provides for three main types of situations in which various speech formulas of communication are used: solemn, mournful and work situations. The first phrases uttered after the greeting are called the beginning of the conversation. It is not uncommon for situations where the main part of the conversation consists only of the beginning and the end of the conversation following it.

• speech etiquette formulas - set expressions

A solemn atmosphere, the approach of an important event suggest the use of speech turns in the form of an invitation or congratulations. The situation in this case can be both official and informal, and it depends on the situation which formulas of speech etiquette will be used in the conversation.

The mournful atmosphere in connection with the events that bring grief suggests condolences expressed emotionally, not on duty or dryly. In addition to condolences, the interlocutor often needs consolation or sympathy. Sympathy and consolation can take the form of empathy, confidence in a successful outcome, accompanied by advice.

In everyday life, the work environment also requires the use of speech etiquette formulas. Brilliant or, conversely, improper performance of assigned tasks can be a reason for or censure. When following orders, an employee may need advice, for which it will be necessary to ask a colleague. It also becomes necessary to approve someone else's proposal, give permission for execution or a reasoned refusal.

The request should be extremely polite in form (but without fawning) and understandable to the addressee, the request should be delicate. When making a request, it is advisable to avoid the negative form, use the affirmative one. Advice must be given non-categorically; addressing advice will be an incentive to action if it is given in a neutral, delicate form.

For the fulfillment of a request, the provision of a service, useful advice it is customary to express gratitude to the interlocutor. Also an important element in speech etiquette is compliment. It can be used at the beginning, middle and end of a conversation. Tactful and timely said, he lifts the mood of the interlocutor, disposes to a more open conversation. A compliment is useful and pleasant, but only if it is a sincere compliment, said with a natural emotional coloring.

Situations of speech etiquette

The key role in the culture of speech etiquette is played by the concept situation. Indeed, depending on the situation, our conversation can change significantly. In this case, communication situations can be characterized by a variety of circumstances, for example:

• personalities of interlocutors
• place
• time
• motive

The personalities of the interlocutors. Speech etiquette is focused primarily on the addressee - the person being addressed, but the personality of the speaker is also taken into account. Accounting for the personality of the interlocutors is implemented on the principle of two forms of address - to You and to You. The first form indicates the informal nature of communication, the second - respect and great formality in conversation.

Place of communication. Communication in a certain place may require the participant to have specific rules of speech etiquette established for this place. Such places can be: a business meeting, a social dinner, a theater, a youth party, a restroom, etc.

In the same way, depending on the topic of conversation, time, motive or purpose of communication, we use different conversational techniques. The topic of conversation can be joyful or sad events, the time of communication can be conducive to being brief or to a detailed conversation. Motives and goals are manifested in the need to show a sign of respect, express a benevolent attitude or gratitude to the interlocutor, make an offer, ask for a request or advice.

Any national speech etiquette imposes certain requirements on the representatives of their culture, and has its own characteristics. The very appearance of the concept of speech etiquette is associated with an ancient period in the history of languages, when each word was given special meaning, and there was a strong belief in the effect of the word on the surrounding reality. And the emergence of certain norms of speech etiquette is due to the desire of people to bring certain events to life.

But the speech etiquette of different peoples is also characterized by some common features, with a difference only in the forms of implementation speech norms etiquette. In each cultural and linguistic group there are formulas of greeting and farewell, respectful appeal to elders by age or position. In a closed society, a representative of a foreign culture, not familiar with the characteristics national speech etiquette, appears to be an uneducated, ill-mannered person. In a more open society, people are prepared for differences in the speech etiquette of different peoples; in such a society, imitation of a foreign culture of speech communication is often practiced.

Speech etiquette of our time

In the modern world, and even more so in the urban culture of the post-industrial and information society, the concept of a culture of speech communication is changing radically. The speed of changes taking place in modern times threatens the very traditional foundations of speech etiquette, based on ideas about the inviolability of the social hierarchy, religious and mythological beliefs.

Studying the norms speech etiquette in the modern world turns into practical purpose, focused on achieving success in a specific act of communication: if necessary, draw attention to yourself, show respect, inspire confidence in the addressee, his sympathy, create a favorable climate for communication. However, the role of national speech etiquette remains important - knowledge of the characteristics of a foreign speech culture is a mandatory sign of fluency in a foreign language.

Russian speech etiquette in circulation

Main Feature Russian speech etiquette can be called its heterogeneous development throughout its existence Russian statehood. Serious changes in the norms of Russian language etiquette took place at the turn of the 19th and 20th centuries. The former monarchical system was distinguished by the division of society into estates from nobles to peasants, which determined the specifics of treatment in relation to the privileged estates - master, sir, gentleman. At the same time, there was no single appeal to representatives of the lower classes.

As a result of the revolution, the former estates were abolished. All appeals of the old system were replaced by two - a citizen and a comrade. The appeal of a citizen has acquired a negative connotation, it has become the norm in the application of prisoners, convicted persons, detainees in relation to representatives of law enforcement agencies. The address comrade, on the contrary, was fixed in the meaning of “friend”.

In the days of communism, only two types of address (and in fact, only one - comrade), formed a kind of cultural and speech vacuum, which was informally filled with such addresses as man, woman, uncle, aunt, boy, girl, etc. They remained and after the collapse of the USSR, however, in modern society they are perceived as familiarity, and testify to the low level of culture of the one who uses them.

In post-communist society, the old types of address gradually began to reappear: gentlemen, madam, mister, etc. As for the address, comrade, it is legally fixed as an official address in law enforcement agencies, the armed forces, communist organizations, in the collectives of factories and factories.

Materials used in the preparation of the article Online encyclopedias Around the world and RGIU Libraries.

1. The concept and essence of speech etiquette.

2. Features of the construction of speech etiquette and its main functions.

3. Formulas-cliches of etiquette situations.

4. Features of national speech etiquette.

5. Professional speech etiquette.

Since childhood, each person has mastered a set of moral norms, which are based on a system of various prohibitions: do not be rude to elders, do not insult younger ones, do not leave without saying goodbye, do not forget to greet guests, express wishes for a pleasant appetite, good night, health, good luck, etc. .d. From childhood, the child learns the basics of speech etiquette in a preschool, in the family, at school, in everyday speech environment. With age, a person occupies a certain place in a complex social hierarchy and for successful communication (creating a family, professional definition, gaining authority and respect from acquaintances, etc.), he needs further improvement, clarification, enrichment of speech behavior. Thus, a person masters speech etiquette throughout his life.

Speech etiquette - form, technique of speech communication, which relies on general rules morality and ethics, prescribing a respectful attitude towards other people, politeness, correctness, tact, modesty, restraint in assessments, courtesy. Speech etiquette arose, apparently, at the initial stages of the development of speech, although the word “etiquette” (“etiquette”) itself appeared in France, where at the court of Louis XIV, small paper labels were given to those present, on which it was indicated with what words and movements a person should address king. In a later era, the word expanded its meaning and was borrowed into other languages. Today, etiquette is understood as the order of behavior accepted by society, which is also reflected in speech forms.

Speech etiquette – rules of speech behavior, i.e. a system of stereotyped, stable communication formulas, polite words (hello, thank you, thank you, please, etc.) that have developed historically and nationally.

Etiquette is a national phenomenon. The main forms, the "technique" of communication have a national coloring. For example, among the Slavs it is indecent to point a finger at a person, in English, to express a respectful form of address, similar to the Russian “you”, the word you (“you”) is used with a certain intonation, in Japanese there is no negative "no". English etiquette also does not recognize categorical forms, so it is difficult to find English equivalent Russian expressions “I refuse flatly!”, “It is absolutely impossible”, “For the life of me, I can’t!”, “No, and again no!” etc. Unlike Western cultures in Russian, the question "How are you?" it is not customary to answer categorically “bad” or “good”, neutral “nothing”, “so-so”, “slowly” are more acceptable. Saying “thank you” to a cab driver in India is an excuse to ask you for more money. Different nations have traditional greetings. In Japan and Korea, when meeting, a verbal greeting is accompanied by a ceremonial bow, the depth of which depends on the age and position of the interlocutors. In Egypt and Yemen, they greet each other with a palm placed to the forehead, which resembles a salutation. In Iran, after shaking hands, they apply right hand to the heart. In Thailand, instead of shaking hands when meeting, the hands are folded in a “house” in front of the chest and bow slightly. In New Zealand, Maori greet each other by rubbing their noses. The Eskimos, as a sign of greeting, strike a familiar fist on the head and shoulders. The French and Italians kiss each other on the cheek. Samoans sniff each other. In England and the United States, the handshake is more common for formal occasions and acquaintances.

Speech etiquette is built taking into account:

1. characteristics of interlocutors their social status, role in communication, age, gender, nationality, religion, profession, character of a person. "you" or "you".

2. situations place, time, topic and purpose of communication. Speech behavior that is unacceptable under some circumstances may be appropriate in another case.

3. Type of verbal communication (negotiations, conversation, birthday, anniversary, prom, banquet, conference, meeting, etc.). It is not recommended, for example, at a woman's birthday party to remind her of her age, even if it is advanced. It is considered incorrect in negotiations to put forward your demands from the first words. It is impossible to vividly, colorfully describe the results of a forensic autopsy.

The role of speech etiquette:

1. Maintains a positive reputation of the organization, enterprise.

2. Allows you to determine the general level of culture of the interlocutors.

3. Allows you to create a comfortable climate for communication, avoid conflicts, ambiguity.

4. Allows you to attract the attention of the interlocutor, arouse his sympathy, show him your respect.

5. Helps to establish the status of communication (friendly, business, official, etc.).

6. Helps to have the right impact on the interlocutor.

Compliance with speech etiquette involves showing respect for the interlocutor, not imposing one's own judgments and assessments, observing modesty, lack of teaching, didactic tone, taking into account the threshold of attention and understanding of the listener. Speech should not be too slow or too fast. Speech with a frequency of 120-150 words per minute is best perceived in sentences of 5-9 words. Speech etiquette prescribes the choice of only topics of conversation that are understandable and close to the partner. It is impolite to start a conversation with one person from the group about something that concerns only two or is not clear to the rest. Avoid categorical statements. Phrases of the following type are considered disrespectful: “I don’t know about you, but I think ...”, “I think you won’t understand this”, “I, as a specialist ...”, “This cannot be!”, “It seems to me that this is not quite convincing”, “I'm afraid I can't agree with you”, “It's hardly true”, “No way”, “This is absolutely unacceptable”, etc. Etiquette is a historical phenomenon, which changes with time. Some forms courtesy become obsolete or out of circulation altogether: the kiss of a woman's hand, the question "how do you sweat?" instead of "How are you?" Today, such etiquette expressions as “God help you” (to a working person), “Fresh for you!” (to a woman drawing water), “Tea and salt!”, “Tea and sugar!” (to those who eat or drink), I strike with my forehead (to the superior in social status). Over time, some formulas of speech etiquette lose their original meaning, acquire a different meaning. For example, in the Russian language relatively recently (in the 18th century), among the educated nobles, the appeal to you, while the servants continued to be addressed on you to highlight class differences. Today requests for you and you have lost their indication of class and testify to close relations with a person, respect, speech etiquette in general. For example, the greeting "I wish you good health!" it was fixed in the military environment only from the 19th century, and before that it was commonly used. Over time, the wishes of health (for example, when sneezing) and the expression “Hello!” have lost one of their meanings.

According to etiquette information, one can recognize a person's age, his level of education, profession, etc. Speech etiquette is highly valued in diplomacy. Attaches are specially introduced to the national characteristics of another people, they are taught polite phrases, the ability to compliment in time, keep silent, etc. There are cases in history when non-compliance with etiquette led to military situations. So, A. Griboedov, being the Russian ambassador to Persia, refused to take off his shoes and bow before the eastern ruler, which caused the latter's objective indignation and served as a pretext for an outbreak of an uprising and the disruption of the agreements reached earlier and beneficial to Russia.

Cliche formulas for the situation greetings: hello, hello, healthy, great, good morning (afternoon, evening), hello, hello, hello, glad to greet, glad to see you, glad to meet you, what a meeting, well, meeting, let me greet you, my respect, I wish you good health, whom I see, what a surprise, what a joy, how many years - how many winters, fireworks, we haven’t seen each other for a long time, Christ is risen, how are you? Is that you? and etc.

In certain speech situations, verbal greetings can be replaced by non-verbally expressed signs (applause, handshake, nod, bow, raising the hat above the head, shaking, waving hands, etc.). Speech etiquette requires student audiences to greet the teacher while standing. Historically, in our society, the regulation of the sequence of greetings has also developed. Welcome first:

a) men women;

b) younger in age of the elders;

c) the youngest woman to a man who is much older than her;

d) junior in positions of superiors;

e) members of the delegation of its leader;

e) the doctor of the patient.

Cliche formulas for the situation p groves: goodbye, goodbye, bye, see you, kisses, good luck, success, see you, see you soon, all the best (good, best), I have the honor, let me take my leave, chao, adios, aufwiederzein, be there, goodbye, everything, all the best , happily, happily stay, Bon Voyage, dosvidos, come on, be healthy, salute, etc.

Relevant in our time is the form of address to unknown people. As you know, in our society, the standard form of address inherent in the Western European way of life has not historically taken root due to certain factors (the inability to move freely during serfdom, artificially imposed speech forms in Soviet time etc.). As a result, there are difficulties in choosing the most optimal option from the set: man, woman, person, girl, guy, comrade, citizen, fellow countryman, friend, companion, colleague, sir, dear, dear, sister, brother, respected, respected, beauty, sir, madam. It should be remembered that the words-addresses “man” and “woman” are not correct enough and it is better to start the phrase with verbal clichés like “please ...”, “be kind ...”, “sorry ...”, “forgive me ...”, “let me " etc.

Etiquette speech relations underlie such a linguistic phenomenon as euphemism- replacement of a word or expression that seems obscene, rude or tactless to the speaker: elderly - old, fantasize or deviate from the truth - lie, linger - be late, get better - get fat, death - death, an interesting situation - pregnancy, do "wee-wee" - write, accept gifts - take bribes, a narrow-minded person is a fool, etc.

It is especially important to observe the etiquette of business speech in work teams. The main ethical requirement in the relationship of a leader with subordinates is respect and goodwill. An authoritative leader is a professional worker, businesslike, operational, principled, demanding, able to make decisions in a timely manner and monitor their implementation. At the same time, he is an honest, conscientious, respectful and caring person. A smart and tactful leader takes into account the individual characteristics of employees, the ability to “light up” with a new idea, gives instructions fairly and without prejudice. A qualified leader, in addition to professional skills and erudition, must competently draw up written documents, be able to work with people, value his own and other people's time. It is incorrect to meet a subordinate in a chair, you need to get up, say hello and invite the person who entered to sit down. It is important for a leader to be able to listen, express sympathy, be patient, and help people who, for various reasons, cannot speak out.

If the manager writes: “Please allocate places for the best employees in five”, This testifies not to his indifference to people or the desire to humiliate someone, but rather to ignorance of the elementary norms of the culture of speech. The leader is similarly characterized by the phrase at the end of the message about the meeting: “The attendance of all is strictly obligatory” (as if not a colleague is addressing a professional, respected employee, but a businesslike boor to a hooligan or a hopeless loafer). It should be remembered that it is not correct to give the task of public speaking to a person who does not have the ability, desire, or inclination to do so. The categorical, peremptory speech of the leader (“I believe”, “I am convinced”, “I demand”) is permissible only in solving fundamental problems, in other cases it is perceived as a manifestation of bad manners and requires a more democratic manner of communication (“I think”, “I seems”, “do not you think that”), which is the key to the fruitful work of the team.

An experienced leader knows how to create an optimal tone of communication in the team. His speech is calm, correct, polite, tasks are clear and concise. As sociologists testify, the productivity of an offended person, taken out of a state of mental equilibrium, is significantly reduced (up to 50%). It is important for a manager to be able to appreciate employees, to compliment them for good work. Public criticism is not allowed: they talk about the mistakes of a subordinate in private or in a circle of closest colleagues. A claim to the whole team is expressed only in an exceptional case and must be motivated especially thoroughly and convincingly.

Evidence of the lack of speech culture of the leader is the mentoring tone of communication (arrogant, mentoring speech, categorical judgments). As psychologists note, after the meaningful phrase “Come to me” common among incorrect managers, employees feel excitement and expect an unpleasant conversation. Most often, these emotions are experienced by those who work hard. People who are used to hiding behind their colleagues in the performance of their official duties, as a rule, are not afraid of such challenges, because they do nothing and there is practically nothing to scold them for. Therefore, a real leader with a high level of speech culture will warn at least a few words about the topic of the upcoming conversation.

Speech etiquette is of particular importance in terms of professional quality. In fact, there is not a single profession where the requirements of speech etiquette could be ignored. Social and medical workers, teachers, workers in various areas of public service (librarians, drivers public transport, sellers, policemen, etc.) it is almost impossible to count on full-fledged communication without courtesy. It is considered good form to use compliments in communication about the professionalism of the interlocutor, his internal qualities appearance (“you look great as usual”, “you have a good sense of humor”, “you have a wonderful team”, “it is a pleasure to work with a good man"). The main rule in this case is the sincerity of the statement, the absence of ostentatious flattery. A compliment should cheer you up, serve as a positive charge for work, set you up for ease and trust in business relations, and in no case be a disguise. bad mood, containment negative emotions, internal boiling. Compliance with the rules of speech behavior of a person at work determines his professional skills, career relationship with colleagues. One should hardly believe the professional competence of a doctor if he expresses himself with phrases like “we will treat a little”, “you need to wait for a miracle”, “treatment in your case is meaningless”, etc.

Special place in the field of professional speech behavior occupies medical speech etiquette. There is a special scientific direction of medical ethics or medical deontology, which regulates the ethical norms and principles of behavior of medical workers in the performance of their professional duties. In relation to patients, it is prescribed to be restrained, friendly, not to allow familiarity, familiarity, excessive dryness and formality. In the presence of patients it is impossible to discuss the diagnosis, the treatment plan, to discuss the correctness of the treatment. Before difficult procedures or operations, their significance and necessity for relieving psycho-emotional stress should be explained. It is recommended to be polite with patients, address “You” and by name and patronymic, listen carefully, speak calmly, clearly, slowly, avoid excessive use of medical terms, require the patient to know the names of the medical staff, the names of equipment or medicines, show a personal attitude towards the patient, argue with him.

Politeness formulas can also have the opposite connotation, testify to the intemperance, rudeness, and sarcasm of the speaker. Out of place said farewell "good-bye!" rather emphasizes the desire to quickly get rid of the interlocutor than a high level of speech culture. Saying with a certain intonation the greeting “well, hello!” first of all, it will be perceived as a reproach for delay, being late and may cause a feeling of resentment in the addressee.

Thus, the observance of specific national signs-symbols of communication, traditions, customs, ceremonies, rituals is an indicator good manners man, an external reflection of his internal culture. Speech etiquette determines the effectiveness, success of the communication process. Violation of the accepted norms of speech etiquette contributes to a negative assessment of the personality of the speaker or writer, and can lead to misunderstanding or a breakdown in communication. The culture of speech involves not just knowledge of the rules of speech etiquette, but the ability to actively apply these rules in practice.

Interesting to know:

All world religions have their own codes of speech etiquette, prescriptions for verbal behavior in acts of communication. So, Christianity recommends resorting to teaching, pointing, correction, instruction only in exceptional cases, when the interlocutor has an open desire, a request to get advice. Only when there is a feeling of ardent love for the neighbor in the soul, an inner state of calmness, when we know that the neighbor is disposed towards us and our words are intelligible to the heart of the interlocutor and at that moment he himself wants to listen to us, only then can we lovingly, affectionately, meekly , carefully, in every possible way protecting his pride, point out to him a misconduct, mistake or give him advice. At the same time, one should not speak imperiously and with shamelessness, but in the form of a student, condemning oneself, and showing oneself lower than the interlocutor, in order to show humility to the listener and encourage him to listen to the speech.

1. Define the concept of "speech etiquette"

2. Explain how national character speech etiquette. Give specific forms of Russian and Belarusian speech etiquette.

3. Name the principles, conditions that must be taken into account when building speech etiquette.

4. What role does speech etiquette play in human life and society?

5. Why does speech etiquette involve avoiding the categorical nature of certain statements?

6. How is the historical essence of speech etiquette manifested?

7. Explain how the formulas of speech etiquette are similar to phraseological units?

8. Describe how speech etiquette regulates the order of greeting people in various situations.

9. List possible options verbal greetings and goodbyes.

10. List the rules of telephone etiquette.

11. Expand the essence of the linguistic phenomenon of euphemism.

12. Why is the ability to use the rules of speech etiquette an important professional quality?

List of results diagnostic tools learning activities:

1. Oral and written survey.

2. Testing.

3. Practical exercises.

4. Solution of game situations.

It is of great importance in today's world. Human speech is one of the main characterological features that give an idea of ​​the degree of education of the individual, his responsibility, culture. The manner of communication allows you to understand how a person positions himself in society, how he relates to people around him and his affairs. Despite the fact that we comprehend the basic ones in childhood, in order to achieve success in communicating with people, you need to constantly work on your own speech. Knowing the basic rules and norms of communication with other people will allow you to better understand the interlocutors and establish trusting relationships with them.

What is speech etiquette and how did it arise

Under speech etiquette, it is customary to understand a stable system of communication adopted in society along with culture. This is an unspoken set of rules that are mandatory for all people who want to build good relationships with others. These rules of behavior established over the centuries. Even our distant ancestors communicated with each other, adhering to an unwritten code. It was then, in ancient times, that it began to happen, its foundation began to be laid. Compliance with etiquette rules for ancient people was a kind of ritual that helped the interlocutors understand that they were not hostile and were ready for a constructive dialogue. Over time, many of the original actions have lost their power, but some rituals and their verbal formulations have survived and continue to be reproduced to this day.

Communication rules: speech etiquette and its formulas

To master the etiquette of speech communication, you need to have knowledge from various sciences, such as linguistics, cultural history, psychology, etc. You can master the skills of a culture of communication through the use of speech etiquette formulas, that is, certain words, set expressions and phrases that are used depending on from the stages of conversation. In total, it is customary to distinguish 3 stages:

1. welcome;
2. main;
3. final.

The beginning of any conversation is accompanied by a greeting, which in turn can be performed at the verbal and levels. At the same time, it is worth remembering that its sequence is of particular importance here. It is assumed that the first to greet the interlocutor is the youngest in age or position. When people of opposite sexes meet, the gentleman first utters the words of greeting, but if we are talking about an adult man and a young lady, the girl should be the first to greet the acquaintance. Depending on the chosen form of greeting (respectful, specific, indicating the time of the meeting, contributing to the creation of an emotional mood or emphasizing the wish for health), certain words of greeting are pronounced, such as, for example, “My respect!”, “I wish you well!”, “ Good morning!”, “Glad to see you!”, “Hello!”. It is customary to end the conversation with phrases that can be expressed in the form:

• wishes - “Goodbye!”, “All the best!”, “Good luck!”, “Happily!”, “Be healthy!”;
• hopes for an early meeting - "Until tomorrow!", "See you!", "Let's call";
• doubts about further meetings - “Farewell!”, “Do not remember dashingly!”.

The transition to the main part of the conversation is based on the use of speech formulas that are applied depending on the type of situation:

• solemn (involving the use of phrases and expressions that emphasize the desire to congratulate the interlocutor or invite somewhere);
• worker (based on censure / gratitude, appeal to colleagues / superiors);
• mournful (accompanied by words of sympathy, empathy, consolation).

The speech etiquette of any country has its own characteristics, characteristic of representatives of a particular culture and language. The main feature of Russian speech etiquette is the absence of socially neutral personal appeals. The revolution led to the loss of many universal words, such as "sir / madam", "Your Grace", "father / mother", and the communist era ended with the disappearance of the word "comrade" from everyday life. Today, people using these addresses seem old-fashioned. Although in some cases they are returned to give speech an ideological coloring or to build phrases through the use of impersonal forms. As for slang phrases and foul language, the fashion for which appeared in the 90s of the last century, many words are firmly entrenched in everyday speech, entered the media and even literary works. Now there is practically no difference between these words and expressive expressions.

The uniqueness of Russian speech etiquette also lies in the use of the name and patronymic, emphasizing respect for the person. In the modern world, analogues of such treatment are rare. And due to the use of diminutive forms of names and words, it is possible to emphasize a family / close relationship with the interlocutor (daughter, little wife, Sashenka).

Another difference in speech etiquette is the use of the plural pronoun during official communication. The polite form "You" is used when talking to a stranger or when necessary to emphasize the person's authority. The emergence of closeness or commonality of views between the interlocutors allows the transition to the "you" form.

Etiquette of speech communication in Russia does not require you to greet passers-by or neighbors. This explains the absence of neutral speech constructions in the language. But in the case of an acquaintance and the establishment of communication, it is worth contacting the interlocutor, expressing feelings of gratitude and deep respect.

The richness of the Russian language is difficult to overestimate. Through the use of phraseological units, idioms, proverbs and sayings, as well as popular expressions, which are not easy to translate into other languages, Russian speech stands out noticeably against the general background. And the speech of a person who uses such phrases becomes much more interesting, demonstrates the erudition of the interlocutor and allows you to convey the feelings, emotions of the speaker or the meaning of words as clearly as possible.

Summarizing all of the above, it is worth adding that the rules of speech etiquette have a lot of differences depending on where the interlocutors live. Communication norms that representatives of one culture consider appropriate may not fit at all into the framework of speech etiquette of residents of other states. Speech etiquette is a complex system that serves to use various language techniques. It is extremely important when building relationships with people based on trust, to observe speech etiquette.

polite rules communication is based on such components as courtesy, respect, correctness, tact, courtesy. The desire to demonstrate your goodwill and emphasize the individuality of the opponent will help to avoid sharp moments. The main thing is to use understandable social group linguistic formulas and techniques.