Basic rules of behavior in society. A set of strict rules of etiquette or laws of behavior in society

An educated person immediately stands out from the crowd, he is distinguished by certain features of behavior or manners, such as intonation of the voice, special expressions used in speech, tone, gestures, facial expressions, gait. All this is called manners.

Good manners are both restraint, and modesty, and the ability to control your words and actions. The ability to communicate tactfully and attentively with interlocutors immediately distinguishes a well-mannered person from others.

In order to meet the concept of "well-mannered person" it is necessary to know the basic rules of etiquette and good manners.

Basic Rules

The habit of speaking loudly, a manner of speech in which they are not shy in expressions and manifestations of emotions, is considered bad form. And if it is also flavored with active gestures, swagger, tactlessness and unrestrained facial expressions, then you are at risk of earning yourself a reputation as an ill-mannered person.

In addition, such patterns of behavior as rudeness in expressions, slovenliness in clothes, neglect of other people's interests, outright hostility towards interlocutors, imposing one's desires and will on others are considered unacceptable.

The manner of communication is determined by the internal culture of a person and is usually regulated by upbringing, as well as the rules of etiquette adopted by society.

Etiquette, in turn, implies a respectful and benevolent attitude towards all the surrounding people, their social status, worldview, position, age, nationality and much more. In general, the rules of etiquette in a civilized society suggest politeness, which is based on humanism.

In fact, there is nothing difficult in following the rules of etiquette. Here are 17 rules of good manners for every day that can make your life much easier.

17 rules of etiquette for every day

Many rules good manners hopelessly outdated, but there are a number of prescriptions, following which you can pass for a well-mannered person:

1. Never visit people without warning. If unexpected guests have come to you, then you, without embarrassment, can walk around the house in a dressing gown or sweatpants and not apologize for an untidy room. Let that be their problem;

2. It is considered bad manners to force guests to take off their shoes. They have to figure things out for themselves. If not, the rules of ethics are unknown to them;

3. One of the most common mistakes is drying an umbrella open in in public places. Do it exclusively at home. At a party or office, hang an umbrella closed on a hanger;

4. Good manners for girls include how to behave with their accessories. For example, many ladies make the same mistake - they put their bag on their knees or, in general, put it on the table.

This is unacceptable for a well-bred girl. If a small elegant clutch can still be put on the table without embarrassment, then a bulky bag or, moreover, a backpack should be placed on the floor or hung on a chair. Men's briefcases must be placed exclusively on the floor;

5. Carrying plastic or paper branded bags in Everyday life considered to be outright bullshit.

Cellophane bags can only be used to carry products from the supermarket home. Same with and paper bags- took the purchase from the boutique home, and forgot about it;

6. A man should not carry a women's bag at all, and take a women's cloak or coat in his hands only when he gives them to a lady or takes them to the locker room in a theater or other public place;

7. Bathrobe, pajamas, underwear are items for the bedroom. At home, it is recommended to wear a comfortable sweater, T-shirt, trousers. Of course, they must look decent. In extreme cases, let it be a tracksuit, but its condition should be decent. Drawn knees and spots are not allowed;

8. Respecting the boundaries of another person and the ability to defend your own is one of important rules etiquette. If your child has a separate room, learn to knock on it when he is there.

In the same way, a child should act when he wants to enter your bedroom. No one has the right to open letters that come to the address of another person, the same applies to electronic resources, accounts, mail and mobile phones. Reading other people's SMS, climbing into pockets and bags is also a sign of bad taste;

9. A woman may not take off her hat and gloves indoors, but it is better to take off her hat and mittens. It is not necessary, I think, to say that a man is obliged to remove any headdress in the room;

10. International protocol prescribes that the number of decorations should not exceed 13 items.

A combination of rings made of different precious metals, such as gold and silver, on one hand is considered ugly. And, in general, you can not pile up your appearance with an excess of jewelry. Choose a pair: ring and brooch, earrings and bracelet, necklace and hairpin;

11. Some people do not understand the rules of payment in cafes and restaurants. If you, communicating with a person, say the phrase "I invite you (you)," then, of course, you must pay. If a woman invites a business partner to dinner, then she pays accordingly.

If they tell you “Let's go to a restaurant”, then you will pay in half. If a man offers a woman to pay for her, she has the right to agree or refuse;

12. Good manners prescribe the first men to enter the elevator, and the one who is closer to the door to leave;

13. The most prestigious seat in a car is the seat behind the driver. It is there that, according to the rules of etiquette, a woman should sit down, and a man takes a place next to her. When leaving, he opens the door in front of the lady and gives her his hand.

Many feminists today consider opening doors in front of you in a car or building to be wrong. They say that in the business world there is no gender division;

14. It is considered extremely indecent to declare in society that you are on a diet, do not drink alcohol or are sick. Why you cannot or do not want to eat or drink alcohol is purely yours. personal problems. You can eat nothing, ask for dry wine, sip it a little, but you are obliged to praise the hostess for her efforts;

15. Small talk suggests that there are a number of taboo topics for general discussion. These are religion, politics and health. It is very indecent to ask about the value of property, clothes or accessories.

If you were asked a similar question - smile, say that this is a gift and transfer the conversation to another topic. Moreover, it is indecent to be interested in the size wages another person. If you are asked about it, then politely say that you would not like to discuss this topic;

16. Any person whose age has passed the mark of twelve years must be addressed to "you". It looks very rude from the outside when people turn to “you” to people working in the service sector.

In business, even if you are close friends, you must address each other as “you” in the presence of other people. If a stranger allows himself to say “you” to you in relation to you, you can try to subtly hint to him with the following phrase: “Are you contacting me?”.

They talk a lot about etiquette, important rules of conduct, often and very willingly. However, people usually lose sight of the most important point - why these very rules are necessary. This is what you should focus on as much as possible.

What are they for?

Any attitudes in society, order exist only because someone feels the need for them. The situation is exactly the same with etiquette: it does not complicate life, as it may seem, but makes it easier, makes it more orderly. "Old-fashioned courtesy" prevents many unpleasant conflict situations. In society, etiquette sets clear and unambiguous "rules of the game" that contribute to the convenience and improvement of communication between people.

At first it may seem that it is very difficult to learn all the rules and apply them in a timely manner. However, it is only worth spending some time on it, showing willpower, as you will immediately understand - it is not difficult to fulfill the requirements. In your presence, others will feel freer and lighter, more liberated. At the same time, you do not have to constantly monitor yourself, think before each act or movement, whether this action is correct or not.

Kinds

The interaction of people in society is different, and the variety of norms and rights that apply to it is also great. In order to understand all this diversity, to avoid unnecessary difficulties, people began to form a kind of “codes” (if we draw an analogy with legislation) - certain types of etiquette. First of all, it is worth mentioning the following varieties of modern etiquette:

state (formerly called court) - communication with heads of state;
diplomatic - relating to the behavior of diplomats and persons equated to them;
military - regulates the actions, speech of military personnel and persons equated to them (in various situations);
religious - refers to the behavior of people in communication with clergy associated with any existing religion, with believers in the performance of ceremonies, on religious holidays, in temples and sacred places.

General civil etiquette includes rules and various traditions related to the communication of people in all other situations. However, the general civil code of rules is not as simple as it seems. Although it does not cover situations in which political influence may be involved, international relations and the like, there is also a division here.

Common norms alone set the standard business communication, others form the requirements for all other types of communication in general. There are certain provisions related to the performance of various ceremonies (wedding, funeral and some others), rules when sitting at a common table, when talking on the phone or communicating through email. General civil etiquette normalizes not only verbal interaction, but also gestures, touches, and to a certain extent even looks and gait.

Before talking about what is possible and impossible in a particular case, you need to find out what the basic requirements for each person are.

generally accepted norms

The basic obligatory norms of etiquette are designed to help a person make a good impression on others. Whether you are a middle-aged housewife, a fast-moving administrator, a sculptor in creative search - everyone should consider them. Any person purchases clothes, focusing on their financial capabilities, but as for the established traditional norms, we can say that they are mandatory for everyone. The following key requirements must be considered:

cleanliness, aesthetics of clothing;
compliance with the wardrobe of your figure and accessories;
the compatibility of the elements of the outfit with each other, their correspondence to the specific situation.

Every piece of clothing that you wear should be kept clean, fastened, and ensure that everything is ironed. The system of etiquette requirements prescribes a strict division between festive, official (working), home, and evening wear. Compliance with the rules of good manners is also unthinkable without the implementation of hygiene procedures, full and proper nutrition, healthy lifestyle life.

In any training course devoted to the basics of etiquette, there are always such sections as presenting yourself to others, gait, posture, gestures and speech.

Rules of conduct for men

A real man is not only a good professional in his field, a responsible person and master of his word. There are a number of etiquette rules that strictly regulate how exactly he should act in a certain situation. Even if your acquaintances do not comply with these requirements, you will only benefit yourself if you do not follow their bad example.

Not a single man (except for a policeman on duty and a soldier who is obliged by the charter to salute) can normally walk to the right of a woman, only to the left. Of course, there are circumstances when this rule of etiquette can be violated - but only by learning to observe it, you will understand when you can deviate from the norm. . Stumbled and slipped women need to be supported by the elbow, and no one will see this as going beyond the bounds of decent behavior.

However, only the lady decides whether to take the hand of a representative of the stronger sex.

It is also forbidden to smoke near a woman without express permission. Everyone remembers, of course, that the appropriate behavior is to open the door at the entrance and exit, escorting the woman behind. But this norm, observed on any stairs, changes to the opposite when entering the elevator and when leaving the car. When a man personally drives a car, he is obliged to open the door and hold the women by the elbow when landing forward.

It is not customary to sit down in the presence of standing ladies, including on the bus; an exception is made only for trains and planes. Of course, responsible and adequate men always help their companions to carry heavy, bulky or uncomfortable things. Men's etiquette is also distinguished by such nuances:

you can not put your hands on your chest when talking;
you should not keep them in your pockets;
you can twist any object in your hand only in order to better examine or use it, and not just like that.

Etiquette for women

Do not think that the requirements of etiquette for women are softer or stricter. They are exactly the same in severity, but different in content. Everyone can learn to behave correctly, again - this requires only consistency, determination and self-control. A common mistake is the opinion that today women's norms of behavior are limited to one politeness and correctness in speech. Of course, they are not the same as a hundred or two hundred years ago - and therefore it is impossible to learn the rules of etiquette, focusing on ancient literature.

Bad, "primitive" manners, which are often found in the behavior of modern women and girls, are primarily as follows:

excessive curiosity about other people's secrets;
spreading gossip;
insulting other people and rudeness;
vulgar behavior;
bullying others, manipulating them;
unscrupulous flirting.

Behavior in everyday life should be subordinated not to emotions and passions, but to reason. Yes, for women (and even for many men) it is very difficult. Yes, there are situations when it is extremely difficult not to be rude in response. You should always imagine how your behavior looks from the outside. At the same time, modesty should be remembered - both in the family circle and on the street, in a store, in a restaurant, at an exhibition and in other places.

You can not know the ready-made speech formulas of greeting and address too well, but at the same time have a reputation for being a polite, cultured person. The whole point is to convey your benevolence to the interlocutors, so that every detail emphasizes positive attitude.

The stereotype that " real girl always late", nothing more than a harmful myth, invented as an excuse for their own indiscipline and disrespect for others. Put him firmly and completely out of your head, do not allow yourself to do this with either acquaintances or strangers.

If you are unable to arrive on time, inform those who may be waiting for you immediately.

It is unacceptable at a party, at work, and in a hotel or official institution to rush to all things, check their cleanliness. In the presence of other people with whom you work together, study together, have a romantic relationship, it is undesirable to make phone calls, write SMS or emails. Even if communication at a particular moment is very important, you should report this and apologize, try not to interfere. It is advisable to explain to the subscriber or interlocutor that at the moment you will not be able to communicate.

Educated women and girls, in principle, do not allow themselves even in own house(when no other people are there) wear clothes:

dirty;
crumpled;
torn;
does not match the chosen style.

Believe me, if you do not make any exceptions and indulgences for yourself unless absolutely necessary, it will only be easier to follow the usual rules of etiquette. Quite rarely there are cases when a woman can afford not to work. The basic principle of official relations (both with management and with subordinates) should be strict correctness, following the rules of the organization and professional ethics. You should definitely be punctual, keep your word, clearly plan your working day. It is strictly forbidden:

How to teach a child good manners?

Children's spontaneity pleases and touches moms and dads, but from the very early age the kid needs to instill elementary norms of behavior - of course, this is primarily done by parents, and not by educators and teachers. You can forgive this or that transgression against the norms of etiquette; other people (even classmates or people you happen to meet on the street) may no longer understand him. Yes, and the whole child later life it will be easier, no matter how offended he is at first.

The paramount rule, often voiced by people, but not lost its relevance - the need in the family to always treat others politely. If you encourage children to be correct and even communicate with them in the right way, but be rude on the phone, quarrel with guests or raise your voice once again in the store, such educational work' will inevitably fail.

To get a well-mannered and cultured child, you need from the very early years demonstrate to the child the rules of behavior during the games. Let you be the standard, and the baby’s favorite toys play one role or another (you greet them, say goodbye, thank them for the gift they brought, and so on). At the same time, such urgent tasks as the expansion vocabulary and improving communication.

A very important point of education (especially after 5 years) will be the mandatory appeal to all unfamiliar and unfamiliar adults with “you” or by name and patronymic. Avoid interrupting adults and interfering in their conversations. Firmly and steadily remind the children of this, repeating the rule after each violation.

Watch yourself and your manners. Check what kind of children your child (and even teenager) gets acquainted with. This is important both in terms of bad influence on manners, and in the sense that your own peace of mind depends on it.

Always make sure that when your child sneezes:

turned away from other people and from food;
went as far away as possible;
wiped his nose and contaminated objects;
washed his hands after sneezing (before resuming the meal).

Voice communication

In Russia, there are mandatory norms that regulate human speech in various situations. It is far from always possible to confine oneself only to greetings and farewells, and in communication with officials (especially when the situation is solemn or ceremonial) there are unwritten canons. Moreover, they are typical for any organization, department or professional community.

The speech process is regulated by the norms of etiquette in many respects:

lexical (phraseological) - how to address people, how to use set expressions, what words are appropriate or inappropriate in specific cases;
grammatical - the use of the interrogative mood instead of the imperative;
stylistic - correctness, accuracy and richness of speech;
intonation - calmness and smoothness even when irritation and anger overwhelm you;
orthoepic - the rejection of abbreviated forms of words in favor of complete ones (no matter how you hurry and no matter how close you are to a person).

Politeness is also manifested when a person does not interfere in other people's conversations. There is no need to object if you did not listen to the sentence or accusation to the end. The "salon" speech, and in everyday conversation, and even various jargons have their own etiquette formulas.

You need to be careful with who you communicate with. You have to be able to adapt. Polite communication implies that you can’t just say goodbye, even if the conversation has come to an end, and all the planned things have been completed. Some kind of transition is required, it is necessary to correctly lead to parting.

Non-verbal forms of interaction

By itself, this term seems somehow unnecessarily complex and "scientific". However, in reality, people deal with non-verbal communication much more often than it might seem. It is this “language” that is used in communication both with random people you meet and with people you have known for a long time, both at home and outside the walls of your home. Those who correctly understand non-verbal communication receive a triple benefit:

expand the possibilities for expressing their thoughts, they can use gestures as an addition to words;
capture what others really think;
can control themselves and not betray their true thoughts to other observers.

The second two points are of interest not only to various manipulators. It is very important to predict next action a person, to understand his real mood and state (it is quite possible that he is trying to carefully hide this).

A lot of information circulates through non-verbal channels. By receiving it, you will be able to understand exactly how the interlocutor relates to others, what relationships are built between the boss and subordinates, and so on. Properly using such a means of communication, one can maintain an optimal relationship, agree or refuse some proposal without saying a word. You can simply reinforce what was said with additional energy.

Non-verbal communication cannot be reduced to gestures. It is also, for example, the emotional component of any conversation (except for those conducted by phone). The main part of such means of communication is innate, but this does not mean that they cannot be controlled in principle. A polite and cultured person, going to another country or before talking with foreigners, always finds out what meaning gestures and other non-verbal signals have, how they can be understood by interlocutors.

Any meeting (even if it does not imply negotiations or other important business) should begin with a greeting. Its importance should not be underestimated, since a show of respect always transcends personal ambitions and difficulties.

Etiquette requires everyone to stand at the moment of greeting, even women; an exception is made only for those who cannot get up for health reasons. Women are greeted earlier than men. Among people of the same sex, they try to give priority to older ones, and then to those with higher status. If you have just entered a room where others are already present, you should greet those already present first, no matter what.

It is important not only to observe the order, but also to properly show your respect. It used to be thought that shaking hands could emphasize a special location, but the modern approach implies otherwise: everyone should shake hands with each other. You can not shake hands for more than three seconds. Very strong or relaxed handshakes can be allowed only with the closest people.

Non-verbal etiquette requires you to complete your words certain actions. Before starting communication, immediately choose a suitable position that will be convenient for you - and at the same time will not cause negative emotions in other people.

It is unacceptable to sit too relaxed and recline in the presence of interlocutors. No matter how much you want to sit back and demonstrate your superiority, feel like the master (or mistress) of the situation, you can’t do that.

Make sure the pose is not closed: this immediately expresses distrust and a willingness to harshly criticize the other person, even if you don’t mean anything like that. It will be extremely difficult to explain the true meaning. Raising the shoulders, lowering the head are perceived as signals of excessive tension and isolation, incomprehensible fear or fear of defeat. By leaning towards the other person, you show interest in him and in his words. Just don't invade your personal space.

Posture is very important non-verbal communication. A measure is needed here: the back should be straight, and the landing should be correct, but in both cases it is required not to overdo it, so that you are not considered overly proud and arrogant person. Take a close look at yourself in the mirror, or even ask others to rate your mannerisms. If even the slightest unnaturalness, artificiality and posturing is visible, it is better to reduce tension, not to constantly strive for a perfectly straight back.

As for gestures, you must first of all pay attention to those that show friendliness and benevolence. When talking at the table, the hands are held palms up, the hands are left relaxed. By tilting your head slightly to the right or left, you emphasize that you are attentively listening to the other person's speech.

When people get bored with the conversation (or the interlocutor hardly waits for the floor to be given to him), rubbing of the neck and earlobe begins. The sudden shifting of papers, other things means that the person is no longer going to talk - for whatever reason. Those who are about to leave direct their legs or even their entire body towards the exit. A “closed” position or a readiness for a hard rebuff is directly indicated by crossing the arms.

Getting up and starting to walk around the room, scratching their chin or touching their hair, people thereby set themselves up for making a decision, enter the decisive phase in a difficult choice. Inexperienced and ill-prepared deceivers rub their noses, fidget nervously in their chairs, and change positions every now and then. It is very difficult to lie without constantly looking away, without narrowing the pupils, without covering your mouth with your hand. If you believe that non-verbal etiquette is associated only with movements, gestures, this is an erroneous opinion. There is another important component: habits.

Can't during business conversation drink tea and eat sweets, as this is frankly impolite. A cultured person can afford a maximum glass of water.

You should not approach the interlocutor closer than at arm's length - if only possible. Of course, when you need to get close for business, this rule does not apply. A blunder is twirling something in your hands during a conversation, drawing on paper - and so on. This behavior immediately demonstrates:

lack of self-confidence;
weakening attention to the topic under discussion;
disrespect for the interlocutor (who will have to endure such an annoying manner).

Many people smoke these days. If you are one of these people, try to refrain from bad habit during negotiations. In extreme cases, you can afford to drag out when the contract has already been concluded, and it remains only to clarify some details and nuances. When talking at a less serious level, you can smoke, but try to blow the smoke up: this shows partners your positive attitude. When the rings or puffs of smoke point downwards, something is suspected.

If smoking is prohibited in a certain place or situation, this restriction must be strictly observed. Even when you know that there will be no fine (or it doesn’t matter to you), you can’t do this: this is an open and rude disrespect for the established rules and norms.

It is advisable to always ask permission to smoke when communicating with strangers and in an official setting.

Important point- separate aspects of speech are also part of etiquette:

maintain confidence and firmness in your voice;
speak clearly and separately;
keep the same volume level (not too low and not too high);
one should not rush, but also excessively slow speech can irritate listeners and interlocutors.

Certain traditions of non-verbal etiquette are associated with business, which are wider than those already mentioned. Certain brands of clothing and cars, watches and stationery. Chief Executive a successful company is usually fond of sports, is a member of private clubs and associations. These are not just some conventions and emphasizing their importance. Relationships and acquaintances are thus tied up more efficiently, and those that exist are easier to maintain.

It is advisable to choose traditional dress code colors, even if your company is very modern and associated with a high-tech field. Clothing should be calm, traditional, without bright colors and flashy tones. You can not wear more than five accessories, they also include Cell phones and bags. Banned for business man definitely get too strong perfume, wearing old, sloppy shoes.

Behavior in public places

It doesn't matter if you are a successful businessman, a middle manager or some other field. You will still have to make contact with people in various public places. Such situations may occur rarely and not last too long, but etiquette strictly regulates this side of life. On the street, the norms of decency require:

cleanliness and neatness of clothes and shoes;
lack of bad smell from yourself;
combing hair and wearing appropriate headgear;
crossing the carriageway strictly in the places designated for this.

You must not interfere with other people (by pushing them, blocking the path, or preventing them from walking along the only safe or convenient route). If it suddenly happens that you push someone (even without malicious intent), you will need to apologize. Having received an answer to any question, be sure to thank, even if answering is a professional duty of a person. It is polite behavior when:

do not hunch;
do not wave their arms;
do not keep them in their pockets (unless in extreme cold);
refuse food and drink, smoking on the go;
refuse to throw garbage.

You can go in a row with a maximum of three people. If the sidewalk is crowded, then two - no more. Bags, packages and everything else must be carried so that others, their things do not suffer. The umbrella is held vertically (unless it is folded or unfolded). Acquaintances should be greeted, but if you want to talk to someone, stand away from the road that other people are walking on.

Both on the street and in the park, at a concert, in the circus, the following are banned:

cry;
whistling;
pointing at someone with a finger;
obsessive surveillance of others.

Polite people help to cross the street, open or hold a tight door, let a disabled person go ahead, do not create a crush in transport or drive a car too fast - no matter how fast they are. When elderly, passengers with children, disabled people or pregnant women are traveling with you, give them the front and closest seats to the exit in public transport. Bags or packages must not be placed on the seats, unless vehicle almost free, and the floor is dirty.

Signs of bad upbringing are also loud and intrusive conversations in transport, reading newspapers and magazines, attempts to consider what others are reading. If you are sick or there is an epidemic, it is advisable to refuse to visit public places or keep your stay there to a minimum. Modern etiquette implies that if you need to be among people in such a situation, you need to wear a gauze bandage, changing it regularly.

When traveling with children, make sure that they do not make noise, do not get up with their feet on the seats, do not touch others with their hands and feet. At the first request of controllers and conductors, you need to show tickets, pay fines, and give way.

If you are planning a trip to railway transport, prepare all the things that you will use directly on the road. Going through them all the time is not only too tiring and inconvenient, but sometimes impolite - you can create inconvenience for others, damage some object. At the entrance to the compartment, they always say hello, but to introduce yourself or not is already optional. Even with a very long trip and a heart-to-heart conversation, one should not be interested in personal topics and beliefs, the views of fellow travelers.

When the train arrives at the station and before leaving it, it is quite possible to block the approach to the windows. It is not allowed to open or close the window without asking other passengers. Prepare for the exit in advance, ideally you should start packing your things an hour before arriving at the desired station. This is especially true in winter, when all passengers have to wear a lot of things. It is not recommended to do the following:

put your feet on the seats, even your own;
smoking and drinking alcohol;
talking too loudly
make phone calls at night or when other passengers are sleeping;
going to the toilet stall too often unnecessarily;
arbitrarily occupy a seat not indicated on your ticket;
to fill the common table with your food when you do not use it for its intended purpose.

Etiquette also regulates air travel. You can not clearly demonstrate your fear, discuss incidents with aircraft. Any requests (except for the release of the exit from the internal seats) must be addressed to the airline personnel.

People visit administrative institutions much more often than the airport. It also has its own rules of etiquette. Already at the entrance you need to say hello to the watchmen, guards or on duty; prepare a pass or identity document in advance. Questions about the name and purpose of the visit should be answered immediately, calmly and without any impatience.

When a building has a wardrobe, all outer clothing must be left there, even if there are no formal rules. In such cases, you may not be required to do this directly, but you should still be aware of the rules. If there is a secretary or his substitute, you need to talk about appointments and negotiations.

You can not enter the office until the secretary makes sure that you are really expected. Knocking on the door of the administrative office is prohibited in any case. The only exception is when it is provided for by the rules or by the decision of the owners of the premises.

Regardless of whether the decision is favorable for you, you need to remain calm and businesslike. Only rude and uncultured people slam the door as they leave the administrative building. They allow themselves to stand in the corridor where they can interfere with other people.

The hotel is also a public place. It is recommended to book rooms in advance: this is not only more convenient for you, but also easier for employees who will not be faced with the need to urgently look for free places. Be patient when registering, remember that the employees themselves did not come up with the rules and requirements for documents.

Do not interfere with other people who live in the same room or neighboring rooms. Put things in cabinets and bedside tables. Keep things out of sight when not in use.

Present

Etiquette fully regulates everything that relates to gifts: it is obligatory for both giving people and recipients of presents. It should be noted that all gifts (with rare exceptions) are either strictly functional or symbolize some kind of wish or hint. You should not give something inappropriate: give alcohol to someone who does not drink it at all, or use as a gift something hinting at a physical disability, life difficulty or an unpleasant situation. There are also a few rules to keep in mind:

do not give what a person does not need at all;
do not give ugly, damaged or broken things;
do not give something that has already been given to you - even if the person does not know about it;
Don't gift something that you or someone else has used before (other than antiques, art, and other understandable exceptions);
you need to carefully study the tastes and priorities, character and habits, material capabilities of a person.

The latter is especially important, although often overlooked: the unspoken general rule is that the gifts that the recipient will present to you in the future should be comparable in value and usefulness with your present. Close people, relatives, friends and work colleagues can be observed without any problems.

The needs and preferences of the rest need to be recognized indirectly - better some time before the holiday, a solemn occasion. Then there will be no obsession, and the effect of surprise is provided, and you yourself will have more time to select the appropriate option.

The principle "a book is the best gift" is still relevant today, but you need to take into account the characteristics of the character, the tastes of the person being presented. Carrying children's literature to reputable and respected people is sheer stupidity. Always carefully study the chosen book and its author, compare the information with the interests of the recipients. Always remove the price tag from a gift - if possible. Do not name a price, even indirectly or after a long time - unless it is asked directly.

Giving or sending gifts (except for flowers and cars) always involves packaging. When the gift is handed over in person, the recipients must open and acquaint themselves with the surprise in the presence of the givers. Polite and well-mannered people thank even for a frankly ridiculous or tasteless present.

Try to demonstrate in the future at every opportunity that you like the item - or even brought it real benefit(of course, here you should focus on what kind of thing it is, because you can be presented with an ordinary trinket).

How to behave at the table?

The behavior of a person at the table is a very important component of etiquette. It is at this moment that he is often evaluated by potential business partners, representatives of the opposite sex, and many other people. Think about the impression you will make on your co-workers and bosses. The easiest way is for those who, even at home, strictly observe the rules of decency. Here are a few of the main ones:

always put a napkin on your knees (only it can be used to wipe your lips, fingers);
after finishing the meal, put napkins at the plate; if they fall, take others or ask the waiter for new ones;
if you drink wine, pour it only into glasses that you need to hold with three fingers - only by the leg, without touching the bowl;
soup must be scooped from oneself, and not towards oneself, so as not to splatter clothes;
try not to overfill plates, other containers - this is not only ugly, but also makes it difficult to move;

Etiquette, which is an external manifestation of a person’s internal culture, his morality, good breeding, his attitude towards others, is manifested in a number of The simplest rules and regulations first of all, in Attention And respect to other people.

1. One of the basic norms of etiquette - Politeness, manifested in many specific rules of conduct: in greeting, addressing a person, in the ability to remember his name and patronymic, the most important dates of his life. True courtesy is sure Kind and sincere. . It is one of the manifestations of a disinterested attitude towards people with whom we have to communicate.

2. Other important norms on which the rules of etiquette are based are Tact and sensitivity. These noble human qualities are manifested in attention, deep respect for those with whom we communicate, in the desire and ability to understand them, to feel how we can give them pleasure, joy, or vice versa, cause irritation, annoyance, resentment. Tact - this is:

– Respect for another which manifests itself, in particular, in the ability to listen to the interlocutor, in the ability to quickly and accurately determine his reaction to our statement or deed and, if necessary, self-critically, without false shame, apologize for the mistake made.

– modesty which is incompatible with the desire to show oneself better, more capable, smarter than others, to emphasize one's superiority, to demand for oneself some privileges, special amenities, services. At the same time, modesty should not be manifested in excessive timidity and shyness. One should be quite decisive and active in critical circumstances, while defending own opinion. But something must be proved subtly and tactfully, so that a person does not feel pressure.

– Delicacy, which will tell you how to approach a person so as not to offend, offend him, not to touch a sore spot, but on the contrary, try to help him, get him out of a difficult situation. Delicacy should not be excessive, intrusive, lead to flattery.

– Knowing of limits – the ability to feel the boundary that should be observed in a conversation and beyond which our words and actions can cause undeserved resentment, grief, pain in a person.

3. The opposite of tact Tactlessness.

Tactless in conversation:

- without reason to refuse to discuss the proposed topic;

- to conduct conversations that can evoke painful memories in those present, unpleasantly hurt them;

- allow inappropriate jokes, make fun of those present, gossip about those absent;

- loudly spread in public places and transport about purely personal, intimate matters - one's own and others';

- whisper in your ear, etc.

Tactless in behavior:

– upon entering the transport, stop at the door without thinking about other passengers;

- take several places in transport with yourself or your luggage at once;

- sit in transport, "not noticing" the women and the elderly standing in front of you;

- do not leave a passage on the metro escalator for those who are in a hurry (you should always stand on the right);

- always be dissatisfied with everything, grumble, condemn everything, constantly make claims;

- behave uncontrollably in your own apartment, causing concern to neighbors: slamming doors, making noise at late hours, etc .;

To show idle curiosity tactlessly:

- staring at a person, pointing at him or whispering about him;

- look into the windows of other people's apartments;

- Spread other people's secrets.

Tactless inability to control oneself, in particular:

- act and speak in a state of anger or passion - later you may regret it bitterly;

- show your likes and dislikes too openly;

- go too far in expressing your courtesy and friendliness so that they do not turn into importunity.

It is simply impossible to “learn tact” - it is acquired not only under the influence of the environment and upbringing, but also due to the character and desire of the person himself. However, it is certainly possible to develop it.

Introduction

1. Dating etiquette

2. Greeting etiquette

3. Etiquette of farewell.

4. Everyday etiquette

Conclusion

Bibliography

Introduction

Our era is called the age of space, the age of the atom, the age of genetics. With full right it could be called the century of culture.

The point is not only that many cultural values that used to be the property of selected aristocratic circles have become available in our country to the broad masses of readers, viewers, and listeners. Thanks to the increase in the activity of workers, the increase in the amount of free time, the introduction of scientific and technological achievements in all areas public life the culture of human relations, the culture of communication between people, is becoming increasingly important. The more significant the technical and economic potential of a society, the richer and more complex its culture, the higher should be the cultural level of the people who live in it and who manage it. Professional, moral, aesthetic, intellectual culture is needed in everyday life and at work. Both the efficiency of labor and the judicious use of leisure depend on it.

Public life over the past half century has become more complicated, its rhythm has accelerated. Millions of people live side by side in rapidly growing cities in relatively small areas of land. Everyone meets hundreds or even thousands of other people every day. With them, he goes to work, works at an enterprise, stands in line at the box office of a movie or stadium, and rests in a friendly company. People come into contact with each other in a wide variety of moral and psychological situations. The question of how to act, how to behave and how to relate to the behavior of another in this or that case, becomes especially acute in view of the enormous diversity of characters, opinions, views, aesthetic tastes. To find the right solution that allows you to maintain your dignity, your convictions and not offend another person, you need to take into account many circumstances, show tact, restraint, perseverance, and a desire to understand the interlocutor.

However, even good intentions and subjective honesty do not always save us from mistakes and mistakes, which we later have to repent of. Everyone knows this from their own experience. For many centuries of the existence of human culture, a number of rules of behavior have been developed that promote mutual understanding and avoid unnecessary conflicts and tensions in relationships. These rules are sometimes called the rules of etiquette, or the rules of etiquette.

Etiquette is a word of French origin, meaning demeanor. It includes the rules of courtesy and politeness adopted in society.

Modern etiquette inherits the customs of almost all peoples from hoary antiquity to the present day. Basically, these rules of conduct are universal, since they are observed by representatives of not only some this society, but also representatives of the most diverse socio-political systems that exist in modern world. The peoples of each country make their own amendments and additions to etiquette, due to the social system of the country, the specifics of its historical structure, national traditions and customs.

1. dating etiquette

On the street;

In transport;

In a restaurant, theater, museum;

And other public places.

On the one hand, it is indecent to impose your society on to a stranger. He may be completely reluctant to communicate with you.

According to the rules of decency, as well as according to everyday norms, in order to get to know someone, an intermediary is needed in the person of a mutual friend. You need to contact him in order to be introduced to the person you want to meet.

When you are introduced (this applies to both men and women), then by the reaction of a new acquaintance, you can understand whether he wants to continue acquaintance. And if you see his coldness, you should not insist on continuing the relationship.

The basic rules are as follows: with the words "Let me introduce you ...", "Let me introduce you ...", "Olya, get to know ..."

The man is introduced to the woman.

The younger ones are introduced to the older ones.

Guests who come later, those who came earlier.

If guests come one after another, and you do not have time to introduce them to each other, your relative or good friend can take on this responsibility.

After escorting the guest to the room, everyone who is there is called his name, after which this guest is called the names of the others.

If there are few guests, you can introduce everyone separately.

Getting acquainted, the men stand up.

Women may remain seated, unless the guest who enters is much older than they are or is in a high position.

If two women meet different ages, correctly, addressing an older woman, say: "Let me introduce you ..." - and pronounce the name and surname of the younger person, and then name the older woman. In other words, age and authority have an indisputable advantage in this case. The same principle of emphasized respect determines the norm of acquaintance, in which a man is usually introduced to a woman, an employee is introduced to a manager. If you need to introduce peers or people of equal status, it is better to introduce the person closest to you first, for example, your sister - your friend.

When it is necessary to present several persons at the same time to a well-known, well-deserved person, then his surname is not pronounced at all (it is assumed that everyone knows it).

We represent our wife, husband, daughter, son with the words: "My wife", "My daughter". Acquaintance with mother and father is an exception to this rule: we introduce all acquaintances to parents, and not vice versa.

It is very convenient, when introducing your acquaintances, to add, for example, the following clarification: "My friend N is a surgeon, and this Z is my institute friend."

Introducing a person, you should pronounce his last name clearly and distinctly. I especially want to warn against confusing it or making inaccurate stress.

Absolutely unacceptable are clarifications like: "Mr. N is the brother of the famous actor Z!"

For people who are not confident in their memory regarding other people's surnames, it is advisable to offer: "Get acquainted, please ..." And then rely on someone else's initiative. This way of presenting is perfectly acceptable.

If the already assembled society joins new person, say his name out loud; the rest, giving him their hand, call their own.

you are going to public transport with a friend, and at one of the stops your friend enters the car? Is it necessary to introduce your companions? If you exchange only a few words with the person who entered, then you can not introduce him to a friend, but do not forget to do this if the conversation becomes general.

Someone from your family comes to your place of work. Should it be presented to employees? Not necessarily if you have a purely official relationship with them.

At work. The manager introduces the new employee to the team. Old employees bring the newcomer up to date and behave in such a way that the latter feels comfortable in a new place in a few days. In difficult personal relationships between some employees, as well as in mutual insults, a newcomer should not be initiated.

The form of addressing each other among members of the same team depends on the degree of their friendly sympathies and established traditions. But in any case, it is unacceptable to address a friend only by his last name.

Life in a rest home is distinguished by somewhat simplified forms of acquaintance. With the words "Let me see your book" can begin a close communication.

In such an environment, it is best to introduce yourself to roommates and tablemates. Getting to know each other and creating a good atmosphere is facilitated by "get-to-know" parties, which are customary in some holiday homes.

Among peers, young people and girls, it is quite acceptable to name only names when meeting.

The first to give a hand is the person who was introduced to the other, that is, the woman holds out her hand to the man, the elder to the younger, the leader to the subordinate. The person introduced is patiently waiting, ready to lend a hand, but not in a hurry to do so.

When a man is introduced, he always stands up. A woman does this only if she is introduced to a woman much older or to a man of advanced age and position. Girls under 18 always get up when meeting adults.

The hostess of the house always rises to meet the guest, regardless of his gender and age.

If one of the guests arrives late, when everyone is already sitting at the table, the host should introduce him to everyone at once and seat him in an empty seat. A latecomer can then get to know his closest neighbors on the table.

When you happen to meet on the street an acquaintance walking in the company of a woman whom you do not know, it is supposed to bow and leave the acquaintance the right to decide what to do first - to greet you or introduce you to the woman.

But what if there is a need to be represented, and there is no one in society who could help you with this? You just need to give your hand and give your last name - clearly and distinctly.

Speaking of surnames, it should be noted that good memory surnames often help out in life. The person whose last name we quickly remember many years later feels flattered. However, there are often people who have other people's names stubbornly fly out of memory. If you find yourself in similar situation, I advise you to glorify in such a way that this vice is not noticed. But if you are not at all lucky and there is no way out, you will have to confess: "Sorry, I forgot my last name." In such cases, it is good to defuse the situation with some kind of joke.

"Etiquette is the ability to yawn with your mouth closed." Brigitte Bardot

At the moment, there are quite a lot of stories on the net about good deeds. strangers, it has become especially popular to translate grandmothers across the road.

Many admire it, post videos on the Internet and receive many enthusiastic comments. That is, the modern average person is surprised by such behavior. But after all, every educated person should do this, it should be normal, ordinary behavior that does not require applause. There are rules, adhering to which society will achieve harmony in communication and relationships. This is etiquette. Observing etiquette it is difficult to quarrel, make a scandal or offend someone. To develop friendly relations, you just need to wish people well. Do as you would like to be treated. Knowing etiquette will come in handy if you like to impress others. This can be achieved with appearance, culture of speech, the ability to behave in various situations. Observance of etiquette will also help to avoid stupid situations when you want to please, for example, your boss or relatives of your soulmate.

The word "etiquette" appeared in France, during the time of Louis 14. Once, at the next magnificent reception at the court, label cards were handed out to everyone, they listed the rules of conduct that guests had to follow. This is how the concept of "etiquette" appeared - good manners, skill behave in society.
There are several types of etiquette:

court etiquette;
Diplomatic etiquette;
Military etiquette;
Civil etiquette.

In this article, we will consider some subspecies of general civil etiquette.

How to behave when meeting/acquaintance

The general rules of greeting are that the younger ones always greet the older ones. The man is the first to greet the woman. And if you enter a room where there are already people, then regardless of your gender and age, you need to say hello first.

When greeting a woman or the elderly, a man should definitely stand up. A woman should get up to greet the elderly, high-ranking persons, or if she herself receives guests.

According to the rules of decency, you need an intermediary to get to know each other, better a mutual friend, someone who will introduce you to others, or vice versa. If you want to introduce someone, then you need to use phrases such as "let me introduce you .." or "get acquainted, this is ...". Next, it is worth briefly explaining who the person is to you, for example, “Meet Vova, my colleague and good friend.” The younger ones are introduced to the older ones, the man to the woman. After you have been introduced to someone, you need to name yourself and say the etiquette phrase: “very nice” or “nice to meet you.”

At the first meeting, it is customary to say “you” to each other. In general, any person who has reached the age of 12, according to etiquette, should be addressed to “you”. It is also indecent to “poke” sellers, waiters, etc.

Highly important nuance- handshake. Not shaking a hand extended for a handshake is considered an insult. Always served right hand. Shaking hands, a man always gets up. The woman herself determines whether to give a hand or not. If you are wearing gloves, you should remove both gloves, ladies do not have to do this. And on the street, gloves can not be removed, but if one of the greeters did this, then the second should follow his example.

Kissing at a meeting is permissible with friends and relatives. A man can greet a woman with a kiss on the hand.

Visiting and celebrating

Firstly, it is indecent to go to visit without an invitation. But if it happened, then warn by phone call.

If you are a guest, try not to be late and do not come early. Punctuality is a very valuable quality. Also, do not linger at a party until late, you need to leave on time, as well as come.

If you have received an invitation, it is indecent to refuse without a good reason. But the height of indecency is to agree to an invitation, and then not to come. In this case, the reason must be explained.

Do not visit without a gift or a gift.

Visiting with children should only be in those houses where there are also children, or if you know for sure that they will be welcome.

If you receive elegant guests, then slippers should not be offered, they will look ridiculous with evening dress or a tie.

Take care in advance about how to seat guests. It is better for the hostess to sit down so that it is convenient to leave the table without disturbing the others. When you go out to the guests you need to take off your apron.

<Если у вас один гость, не стоит его оставлять одного, более чем на 3 минуты.

In the restaurant and at the table

Going to a restaurant implies evening attire, but if it happened spontaneously, it’s enough to look decent.

The man should move the lady's chair and help her sit down. Only then sit down. At the table you need to stay straight, do not put your hands on the table.

Usually, the waiters themselves come up, seeing that the visitors are ready to order. But if this did not happen, in no case should you shout to call him, or tap a glass with a fork for the same purpose. Get his attention with a nod of the head.

According to etiquette, if one menu was brought, then the lady orders first. If you don't know how to serve and don't know which fork to eat a particular dish, it's better to start from the far end, but you can sneak a peek at how the others are doing it.

Riding indecency will eat from a common dish or reach across the table for a salt or pepper shaker. In such a situation, you need to politely ask those sitting next to you to give what you need.

Forks and spoons that have fallen off the table are picked up by the waiter. Bottles of alcohol will also be opened by the waiter.

Fish and fruit bones cannot be spit out, you need to use a fork.

If you suddenly get a call, you should apologize to the others and move away. It is indecent to talk to people sitting at another table, even if they are your acquaintances.

According to etiquette, the bill is paid by the one who invited to the restaurant. If the dinner is friendly, then the bill is paid in half. It's not nice to find out in front of the waiter.

Respect others on the road

Most people use public transport daily. In order not to spoil your mood and not become a participant in the scandal, you need to follow some rules. When boarding a bus, trolleybus, etc. you need to let people go out, then let the elderly, pregnant women, and the disabled go forward. Men must skip all women.

Seating places are designed for the elderly, people with disabilities and expectant mothers. A man can only sit down if those standing nearby from this category give their consent, you need to quietly ask: “Do you mind if I sit down?”

If you have a large bag or backpack with you, then it is better to remove them from your shoulder so as not to interfere with others.

Talking loudly in the salon is uncivilized.

If you are traveling with a friend or girlfriend, and the crowd separated you, you should not make your way through the entire cabin, you should wait for your stop.

If you are traveling with your children, then you need to make sure that they do not run or scream, because they can cause inconvenience to others.

When leaving the transport, men or those who are younger are the first to go out to help those in need: give a hand to a woman, a child, help pull out a bag, etc.

If you are traveling in a car, you must open the door for passengers: women and the elderly. A man can get into the car as he wants, but for a woman there is an order - first you need to sit on the seat, then throw your legs over, get out - in the reverse order.

At the theater, at a concert, at the cinema

It is customary to go to the theater in evening dresses. At the concert, the outfit is determined by its theme.

It's best to arrive early so you can take your seat. If you are late, and your place is in the middle of the row, then you should move towards it facing those sitting, be sure to apologize for the trouble.

Before the performance, you need to turn off the phone so that an accidental call does not interfere with either the audience or the actors. Talking, discussing a performance or a film is prohibited.

If you have come with a lady, you do not need to lean towards each other so as not to interfere with those sitting behind.

You are not allowed to eat or drink during the performance. This is bad tone. This is not prohibited in the cinema, but you need to know the measure so as not to run later to the toilet through the entire row.

If everyone follows these simple rules, then going to the theater or cinema will leave only good impressions. Unless, of course, the film itself or the play does not let us down.

The nuances of communication in social networks and when using mobile phones

It is difficult to imagine the modern world without mobile phones and the Internet. Some forms of communication, such as video calls, may well replace face-to-face communication. The more popular mobile communications and the Internet, the more necessary it is to know rules of etiquette when communicating, so as not to be considered tactless.
Basic rules of mobile etiquette:

Your ringtone should not offend those around you with content or volume;
During important meetings, in the theater and cinema, switch your phone to silent mode;
Turn off your phone on board aircraft and in medical facilities;
In public places, especially in minibuses, you should not make calls, as others most likely do not want to listen to your conversations;
Do not touch someone else's phone without permission, there is probably a lot of personal information in there, the owner is unlikely to like it, even if it is your friend. It is also not allowed to answer other people's calls without permission;
Do not put your phone on the table in a cafe or restaurant, as your partner may draw the wrong conclusions. For example, that you are expecting an urgent call that is more important than dinner with a partner;
Don't be silent during the conversation. If you have nothing to say, then try to end the conversation or try to keep the conversation going;
If you find a missed call, you need to call back within 1-2 hours;
When making a call, know that a decent dialing time is 5 rings, then persistence.

As for the Internet, the correspondence on the Internet is divided into business and private. The content of private correspondence is determined by the degree of acquaintance. But you should always remember that there is a real person on the other end, try to be polite and tactful, because your face is your words. In business correspondence, you should follow some rules:

Take care of your and other people's time, don't bother, don't spam, don't flood;
Include a subject in emails. So it will be easier for a busy person to find that your letter is on business;
Do not put emoticons in business letters. And in general, it is better not to abuse emoticons;
Follow the rules of chats and groups in which you communicate;
Do not offend the feelings of believers, remember that there are people of other faiths next to you;
If you want to have pleasant interlocutors, you must be one yourself.

As people's living conditions change, education and culture grow, some rules change. For example, before a woman could not afford to walk in trousers, but now it is generally accepted. Behavior that is unacceptable in one case may be appropriate in another. Everything changes with time, but politeness is always in fashion.