School conflicts: types, solutions, techniques and examples. Teacher and student: problems of mutual understanding and interaction

Teachers are different - good and bad, good and evil, loved and unloved. Why does it happen? After all, if we proceed from the functions and tasks, teachers should be the same, and, nevertheless, there are teachers to whom children go to class with pleasure, anticipating joint communication and interesting work, but there are those that the students are simply afraid of, and then the lesson of this teacher becomes almost hard labor for them.

There is one good teacher in the world - Anatoly Bernstein who lives in Moscow and in this moment writes books on pedagogy. He no longer works at the school, but all his former students go to his house, invite him to visit, or simply call on the phone, not forgetting about him for a minute. And today, two of our Rostov teachers - Sorokina Tatyana Borisovna and Makhankova Nadezhda Pavlovna decided to "talk" with Anatoly Bernstein, discuss the issues he raised in his book "Stay after class", and thus help the reader understand what a real teacher should be like.

Bernstein:“And who said that teachers are harmless retransmitters of knowledge and, in the worst case, bacillus carriers of enlightenment? Sometimes even not the most enterprising of them have to play a much more responsible role - fate.
There is nothing exceptional in this. The teacher objectively has more chances to influence the "underdeveloped" person, as they said about children in the Renaissance. It stands in his way, like an obligatory mark, an intermediate finish, a milestone in the middle of the road, which is not easy to bypass."

Makhankova:"Yes, I agree, teachers sometimes influence the formation of character and the definition further fate his student, but this happens only if the teacher and student have a trusting relationship from the very beginning, when the teacher is an authority and an example in everything.

Sorokin:"And I think that they affect the child in any case, even if not trusting relationship. All the same, some phrases, thoughts, remarks are stored in the child's memory.

- Are there irresolvable contradictions between teacher and student?

Bernstein:"In fact, there are no insoluble contradictions between a teacher and a student. Education is not an idyll, but certainly not a war for independence. It is both mutual learning and the experience of human relations"

Makhankova: " No, in my opinion, irresolvable contradictions may arise between the student and the teacher, but in this case, the teacher himself, his lack of restraint, tactlessness, and narrow-mindedness will most often be guilty. The teacher should always be careful caring attitude to a small, not yet formed person, and carefully consider each of his actions, then there will be much less insoluble contradictions. But sometimes it also happens that the teacher can have little influence on the course of the developing conflict, since the cause is the neglected upbringing of a child who grew up in a dysfunctional family; in this case, the teacher should at least smooth out the conflict that has arisen through no fault of his own."

Sorokin:"There are contradictions, but they are always resolved. I recently had a very unpleasant and seemingly insoluble incident. The mother of one girl decided that I was infringing on the child, discouraged interest in knowledge, that the child was supposedly very smart, and I always I lower the grade. This contradiction was resolved - another teacher was put in the class. As a result, the children who loved the previous teacher suffered."

- When a teacher scolds a student, who cares more?

Bernstein:" Teachers still experience more often and more deeply, and students are mostly very unpleasant. But these, of course, are completely private observations, purely from personal experience".

Makhankova:"It all depends on the situation. If a conscientious teacher breaks down due to external adverse circumstances, then he is very worried. If the teacher's unfair attitude towards the student is the norm in the practice of such a teacher, then the teacher never worries. The student's experiences depend on his personal qualities: if the child sensitive, then he worries very much, and if the student is spiritually callous, then he also does not worry.

Sorokin:"Well, depending on what you scold, if it's for what you need, then you don't worry, and if you're not sure when you scold, then naturally you worry."

- Who needs whom more? Teacher to student or student to teacher?

Makhankova:"Yes, there is mutual need here. A real teacher, for whom work at school is not a service, but a way of life, needs his pupils, to communicate with them just as they need to communicate with their teacher."

Sorokin:"I agree too. The teacher needs the student as much as he needs him."

- What distance should be chosen with the student: near or far?

Bernstein: It is important to understand here that the control of the process of determining the optimal distance between two objects comes from 2 command centers, but not always in agreement. Children perfectly, but sometimes unpredictably for us, regulate the process.

Makhankova:"The distance between the student and the teacher must be strictly adjusted to the millimeter, you can't fall in love with your students too much, bring them so close to yourself that some parents feel jealous, this situation only interferes pedagogical process. On the other hand, you can’t push a child away from you if you see that he needs your care, attention, and sometimes love.

Sorokin:"I choose the close distance with all the students, but sometimes the child decides that everything is allowed for him and goes beyond, then he needs to be moved away."

- Who needs all this more: you or them?

Bernstein:"To us! For them! For the whole meaning of our life is in its full dedication to them."

Makhankova:"In my opinion, in the end, of course, to them, because our main function is to give knowledge."

Sorokin:"But I think it's the same for them and us. Yes, our main function is to give knowledge, and they receive the same knowledge, that is, equally. Mutual exchange."

- How do you establish discipline in the classroom?

Bernstein:"Firstly, treat the matter as the cause of your life; secondly, give it all 24 hours a day and devote them to your children; thirdly, respect yourself and them truly; fourthly, prepare to endure and fight for as long as it takes. And then you will succeed in whatever you wish."

Makhankova:"I prefer to establish discipline in the lesson through my personal charm or authority. I need a set personal qualities which are given by nature and through self-education. In a strong-willed way, not supported by the above factors, it is difficult to maintain discipline in the classroom.

Sorokin:"This is very complex issue, because I have all this happens on an intuitive level. First, I am interested in the topic, and then I load it with work."

- Is there any limit, the culmination of a teacher's work?

Bernstein:"Pedagogical work does not threaten to be closed. It is always the length of a pedagogical life, and even physical life teachers."

Makhankova:"I agree, it does not exist, although I may still be at that time that I have not yet reached this highest peak in my professional activity".

Sorokin:"Probably, it's different for everyone - some have found their limit and are already walking indifferent, but for someone, including me, this is a lifelong creative search."

- The teacher is first of all who: the teacher or the person?

Bernstein:"A teacher is first and foremost a person, and the relationship that is established with the student is human."

Makhankova:"Of course, a person. Pedagogy is a certain field of activity that does not have the right to allow even 1% of marriage, since we work with people, not with machines."

Sorokin:"Well, of course - a man, and any teacher should be dominated by human qualities."

- What is the relationship between teacher and student?

Bernstein: "We offer ourselves as an object for adoration, imitation and obedience, but they simply love us. They can ask for advice, or maybe money, more often shelter, warmth. Easy relationships are our best achievement. Not a conquest, not an end in itself, but the desired result.

Makhankova: "Echoing modern trends in psychological science, I adhere to the principle of the subject - subjective relationships with students, when the teacher does not forget that in front of him is not just an object of his pedagogical influence, but a reverent person who needs to be respected, like himself and valued."

Sorokin:"There must be cooperation between the teacher and the student. They are friends, but the teacher must still inspire respect, looking authoritative in the eyes of the student."

Bernstein:"We need it, because by the way the teacher is physically relaxed with the students, not being afraid to inadvertently hurt someone, how easily he pats, pushes, takes the hand, straightens clothes and how they react to it - you can say a lot about the degree of human confidence , openness and spiritual closeness between them. This is not given to everyone, because the right to such a touch must be earned. "

Makhankova:"I am for the science of touch, this is especially necessary in middle school age (grades 5-7), when the child still needs care, guardianship, he has not eliminated the need for affectionate stroking, patting, a friendly handshake, and if the relationship between teacher and student develops confidential, then touches will be relevant up to the oldest school age".

Sorokin:"Bodily contact is necessary - to reassure someone, to make someone work, to inspire confidence in someone."

- Do teachers have a moral responsibility for students later in life?

Bernstein:"Do not take on someone else's karma - do not do their work for them, do not solve their problems for them, do not try to become their fate. The best thing is to let them know your opinion, position, assessment."

Makhankova:"To a small extent - yes, because from childhood they were inspired by something."

Sorokin:"In general, yes, because what they brought up, they got. And teachers bring up together with their parents."

- What kind of students do teachers like?

Bernstein:"It's a paradox, but teachers do not like happy students. Most likely, because in the subconscious: if they are happy, then they are free, independent of us. And we so want to be needed" ...

Makhankova:"Love more than the one who has the need for love."

Sorokin:"And I love the capable, those who want to learn something, thinkers, seekers, who want to gain knowledge."

- And finally, who is a "teacher" anyway?

Bernstein:"A teacher is a modest servant in a responsible position: opening the door to the world of knowledge or to the world of people, or helping to look into his own. And not requiring gratitude for this. And worthy of much more when he truly deserves it."

Makhankova:"A teacher is, first of all, a good professional."

"... Teaching work is one of the greatest callings in life ... But the teacher must be dedicated to his work in the highest degree, completely surrender to him, teach with all his mind and with all his heart, with all his being; and with such devotion much is possible."
J. Krishnamurti.

"Think about it."
_________________________
© Skrynnikova Alena

Who is to blame for the conflict between student and teacher?

Who is to blame if in the store the buyer was rude to the seller, and in the hairdresser the client was rude to the master? There is an unshakable rule here: the customer is always right. AT educational institution, no matter how boorishly the child behaves, the teacher has no right to insult, or even more so! - hit a dispersed hooligan. Although quite often this rule is violated.

So any conflict between a student and a teacher is from the inability of the latter to establish relationships, from unprofessionalism. When they say that children today are “not the same”, one must not forget the other side of the issue: teachers are different now. Prolonged inattention of the state to this industry National economy led to the fact that those who did not get into more prestigious ones go to pedagogical universities. Hence the internal unpreparedness for the profession, the lack of understanding that the teacher is not a teacher, but an educator, as they used to say in the old days, "an engineer of human souls." Not possessing the skills of psychological analysis, not having love for children in his soul, such a teacher sometimes provokes students into conflicts himself. And if they arise through the fault of the child, he does not see ways to resolve the situation, does not have the necessary professional tools.

Then the parents and the authorities intervene in the matter, which sometimes only leads to the stagnation of the conflict that has arisen.

How can parents help the student and teacher resolve the conflict?

The truth, as they say, is always in the middle. Try to understand what is wrong with your son (daughter) and, most importantly, how to correct the mistake, if any. If he does not learn the subject well, which is the reason: memory problems, laziness, misunderstanding of the teacher's explanations, lack of control on your part. Then it will become clear how to fix the situation.

If the child is rude and unrestrained, talk to him alone, let him tell you the reasons for such behavior.

Here the role of a parent is akin to the role of a diplomat who helps the parties find a compromise solution.

But if the mentor is to blame for the conflict between the student and the teacher, who, moreover, does not want to compromise, then you should not write complaints and beat up the thresholds of higher authorities. Better find a way to change the teacher, the class, even the school. Complaints and litigation can only drive the conflict deeper, and not resolve it.

According to our data, the main number of conflicts among teachers occurs with individual students. This seems to us quite natural, because the largest number of contacts, most of working time for a teacher is connected with the object of his work - the student, with his individual and age characteristics. And the reasons underlying the emergence of conflict interactions confirm this. These include:

Passivity of students, their disinterest

in studies - 66%

unpleasant behavior (rudeness, swagger) -48%

poor discipline in the classroom -27%

The obtained significant relationship between the frequency of conflicts between teachers and individual students and the reasons that cause them confirms that most of the confrontations are caused by these factors.

Obviously, students' motivation to study is the most important factor in the normal interaction between the younger generation and the teacher. The absence of this factor introduces significant problems in the work of the teacher, and, as a result, there are difficulties in determining the availability of educational material, in understanding the nature and abilities of individual students, in choosing and applying teaching methods, in working with the student team, in organizing communication with schoolchildren. . Moreover, the more often there are conflicts with students, the more teachers point out precisely these difficulties in their work.

Unpleasant behavior (rudeness, swagger) has become the norm for a certain number of young people. There are a lot of prerequisites for the appearance of such a phenomenon in schools. This is the criminal situation in the country, and the weakening of the influence of the family on the child, and the situation, the climate in the families themselves. Naturally, teachers react to this situation, do not want to put up with such phenomena, which causes conflicts with students. As a consequence of these two reasons (low motivation to study and unpleasant behavior), a third one arises - poor discipline in the classroom.

All these three reasons have a direct impact on the emergence of conflicts between the teacher and the student. But there are reasons that indirectly affect the occurrence of such situations. These include (according to teachers):

passivity of parents, their unwillingness to help the teacher -51%

a large number of students in the class -20%

If the causes of the first group are associated with professional activities, then this group of reasons refers to socio-professional ones. It is obvious that the teacher in his activities in many cases must turn to parents for help. Especially often such help is needed in elementary school, when the child’s attitude to the fulfillment of new duties is formed, he adapts to the new rhythm of life, often at this age the child needs psychological support from not only the teacher, but also the parents. The help of parents is also important in the transition of the student from elementary school in the middle school, when new subjects appear, the workload increases, the number of teachers with whom he enters into communication increases. And, of course, one of the most difficult is the pubertal period of life, when the child requires special attention not only from teachers, but also from parents and doctors. It would be even more correct to say that in the most difficult moments of his life, the child needs joint and thoughtful, coordinated help from both teachers and the family, because each of the parties knows him deeper and better in his own way. At home, the mental state, mood are more visible, at school - academic success, behavior, relationships with classmates, teachers, etc.

What is happening in everyday life? We will give data on how many parents attend school, help.

Table 4

Interaction of parents with the school (data are read by column)

We see that already class meetings are not attended very actively. There are classes where only 12% of parents attend, which, of course, looks catastrophic. As for school aid, the situation is even more difficult: the classes where the majority of parents provide assistance account for 5%. Thus, we clearly see that the teacher is faced with the passivity of parents, with unwillingness to help him. Probably, this situation is determined by both subjective reasons (underestimated sense of responsibility for their own child, and sometimes complete lack of it), and objective reasons related to the peculiarities of the country's economic situation, when parents, busy searching for "daily bread", physically do not have time take care of your own child.

The fact that the number of students in the class affects the intensity of the work of the teacher is quite obvious. Naturally, this creates the prerequisites for the emergence conflict situations between teacher and students. The currently existing normative minimum (25 people - with the exception of compensatory education classes), which in real conditions brings the number of students in a class to 30, and in some cases even higher, is determined by the amount of budget and city funding, which, in turn, is determined the economic situation of the entire country.

The fact that the conflict between the student and the teacher introduces difficulties in the work of the teacher is also confirmed by other research data. A significant correlation was obtained between the frequency of such conflicts and the psychological difficulties of the teacher's work. Among the teachers who are in conflict with the student, in the moderately conflict group, 29% noted that it is difficult for them to work psychologically, and in the non-conflict group, only 20% of the respondents face difficulties of this kind. All confrontations between the teacher and the child, regardless of the reasons causing them, are connected with the professional activities of the teacher, and he, as a professional, must be able to manage them, regulate them, trying not only to eliminate the causes of conflict interactions, but also to maintain normal relationships with the child. Only in this case can we say that this requires additional restraint, attention in relation to the student, which, of course, is associated with additional psychological costs. It is no coincidence that 79% of teachers called patience and psychological endurance the main feature of their profession.

Is the teacher always able to resolve the conflict with the student? The results of our study do not provide a direct answer to this question. But, probably, the teacher's activity can be judged by his satisfaction, first of all, with the results of his work and work in general. This is justified in the event that the teacher sets as the goal of his activity not only the transmission.

a certain amount of knowledge, but also maintaining a normal relationship with the child. After all, it is obvious that the educational process, the process of transferring knowledge, cannot be successfully carried out without mutual respect, mutual understanding between the teacher and the student, which, undoubtedly, depend on the teacher's respect for the interests of the child. The significance of the correlation between the frequency of such conflicts and satisfaction with one's work in general, satisfaction with the results of one's work suggests that confrontations between a teacher and a student affect the teacher's assessment of his professional activity (see Table 5).

Table 5

The dependence of the frequency of conflicts between teacher and students

and satisfaction with the work in general, the results of their work

(data is read line by line only)

As we can see from the results obtained, the majority of teachers are fully or partially satisfied with both the results of their work and their work in general. Perhaps we can say that they find ways to interact with children. It is difficult to say what specific ways out of such conflict situations are now being chosen by our teachers. But the fact that the teacher adapted to work in such conditions is confirmed by the results obtained. Realizing the conflict outside, without driving it inside, most of them remain psychologically free.

I would like to note that the number of conflicts that arise between teachers and students is influenced by the education received by the teacher. Among teachers who have received a higher pedagogical education, 24% make up a moderately conflict group, and among teachers with a non-pedagogical education, they make up 30%. Undoubtedly, in order to resolve conflict confrontations with students, knowledge of psychology, the age characteristics of the child, familiarity with the pedagogical experience of the past is required. It is no coincidence that the higher the frequency of conflict with the student, the more teachers say that they are not satisfied with the education they received and want to continue it not only in the field of mastering new forms and methods of teaching the subject, but also in the field of psychological knowledge. According to our study, among teachers who from time to time conflict with students, 48% would like to receive a complex of psychological knowledge.

The process of training and education, like any development, is impossible without contradictions and conflicts. Confrontation with children, whose living conditions today cannot be called favorable, is a common phenomenon. According to M. Rybakova, conflicts between a teacher and a student can be classified as follows:

actions related to academic performance, performance outside of school assignments;

the behavior (actions) of the teacher as a reaction to the student's violation of the rules of conduct at school and outside it;

relations arising in the sphere of emotional and personal relations of students and teachers.

Activity conflicts. They arise between the teacher and the student and are manifested in the student's refusal to complete the educational task or its poor performance. This can happen for various reasons: fatigue, difficulty in mastering the educational material, and sometimes an unsuccessful remark by the teacher instead of specific assistance to the student. Such conflicts often occur with students who have difficulty learning the material, and also when the teacher teaches in the classroom for a short time and the relationship between him and the students is limited to academic work. There are fewer such conflicts in the lessons of class teachers and teachers primary school when communication in the classroom is determined by the nature of the existing relationship with students in a different setting. AT recent times there has been an increase in school conflicts due to the fact that the teacher often makes excessive demands on students, and marks are used as a means of punishment for those who violate discipline. These situations often cause capable, independent students to leave the school, while the rest have a reduced interest in learning in general.

Action conflicts. The pedagogical situation can lead to conflict if the teacher made a mistake when analyzing the student's act, did not find out his motives, or made an unreasonable conclusion. After all, the same act can be dictated by different motives. The teacher tries to correct the behavior of students, sometimes evaluating their actions with insufficient information about the reasons that caused them. Sometimes he only guesses about the motives of actions, does not delve into the relationship between children - in such cases, errors in assessing behavior are possible. As a result, there is a completely justified disagreement of the students with such a situation.

Relationship conflicts often arise as a result of the teacher's inept resolution of problem situations and, as a rule, are of a protracted nature. These conflicts acquire a personal coloring, give rise to a student's long-term dislike for the teacher, and disrupt interaction for a long time.

Causes and components of pedagogical conflicts:

insufficient responsibility of the teacher for the pedagogically correct resolution of problem situations: after all, the school is a model of society where students learn the norms of relations between people;

participants in conflicts have different social status(teacher-student), which determines their behavior in conflict;

difference in life experience participants also determines a different degree of responsibility for errors in conflict resolution;

different understanding of events and their causes (conflict "through the eyes of the teacher" and "the eyes of the student" is seen differently), so the teacher is not always able to understand the child's experiences, and the student is not able to cope with emotions;

the presence of other students makes them participants from observers, and the conflict acquires an educational meaning for them as well; this should always be remembered by the teacher;

the professional position of the teacher in the conflict obliges him to take the initiative in resolving it, since the interests of the student as an emerging personality always remain a priority;

any teacher's mistake in resolving the conflict gives rise to new problems and conflicts, which include other students;

conflict in pedagogical activity is easier to prevent than to resolve.

The current situation in the country plight schools, inadequate training of teachers, especially young ones, to constructively resolve conflicts with students leads to significant destructive consequences. According to psychological studies in 1996, 35-40% of childhood neuroses are didactogenic in nature. Research also shows that there is a high proportion of interpersonal conflict between teacher and student. negative consequences(83%) compared to positive influence.

It is important that the teacher knows how to correctly determine his position in the conflict; and if the team of the class is on his side, then it is easier for him to find the best way out of the current situation. If the class begins to have fun with the violator of discipline or takes an ambivalent position, this is fraught with negative consequences (for example, conflicts can become a chronic phenomenon).

For a constructive way out of the conflict, the relationship between the teacher and the parents of a teenager is important.

Often the teacher's communication with matured students is based on the same principles as with elementary school students. This type of relationship is not age characteristics a teenager, first of all, his idea of ​​himself - the desire to take an equal position in relation to adults. Successful conflict resolution is not possible without psychological readiness teachers move to a new type of relationship with growing children. The initiator of building such relationships should be an adult.

A survey of schoolchildren conducted under the guidance of Professor V.I. Zhuravlev showed that about 80% of students felt hatred towards certain teachers. Students cite the following as the main reasons for this attitude:

teachers do not like children - 70%;

negative personal qualities of a teacher - 56%;

direct assessment of their knowledge by the teacher - 28%;

the teacher does not know his specialty well - 12%.

There are frequent cases when the negative attitude of students towards the teacher is transferred to the subject that he teaches. So, 11% of schoolchildren say that they hated certain disciplines studied at school.

At the heart of conflict relations between a student and a teacher lies a negative assessment by students of the professional or personal qualities of a teacher. The higher the student evaluates the professionalism and personality of the teacher, the more authoritative he is for him, the less often conflicts arise between them. More often good contact with students manages to establish teachers lower grades. Senior schoolchildren, remembering training in primary school, assessed their teachers who worked without conflict as follows:

• * the first teacher was perfect;
• * she is a model teacher, which you remember all your life;
• * an exceptionally experienced teacher, a master of his craft;
• * in four years, seven teachers were replaced, they were all wonderful people;
• * I can not say anything negative about the primary school teacher;
• * there were no conflicts, the authority of the teacher was so high that her every word was law for us;
• * there were no conflicts, our teacher was an indisputable authority not only for students, but also for their parents;

Long before the emergence of conflictology as a science smart people on the basis of everyday experience, the rule was formulated: "When two people are in conflict, the one who is smarter is wrong." Smart should be able to protect their interests and the interests of the cause without conflict. Based on this, in conflicts between students and teachers, the latter are most often wrong. The everyday experience of the student, the amount of his knowledge, worldview, communication skills with the outside world is much less than that of the teacher. The teacher must learn to stay above conflict and resolve natural and inevitable problems in relationships with students without negative emotions(better with humor).

At the same time, it would be completely wrong to place all responsibility for conflicts between the student and the teacher on the latter.

First, today's students are markedly different from those who studied at school in 1982. Moreover, often not better side. Twenty years ago in nightmare it was impossible to imagine that the situation with the use of alcohol, drugs, toxic substances. And now it's a reality.

Secondly, the socio-economic situation in the school itself has noticeably worsened, which, in turn, contributes to the emergence of conflicts between the student and the teacher.

Third, the quality of teacher training has obviously declined.

Fourth, the low standard of living provokes tension in the relationship between students and teachers. Stress in teachers, caused by the hardships of life, stress in schoolchildren, which is a consequence of material problems in their families, causes increased aggressiveness in both.

Vasilyeva V.N.

Teacher and student: problems of mutual understanding and interaction

The two main figures in the school are the teacher and the student. Their communication in the classroom extracurricular activities, at leisure become important condition the effectiveness of the educational process, a means of shaping the personality of the student. Based on the axiom that the relationship between a student and a teacher is the foundation of all social formations created by people for long years it can be concluded that the student and the teacher are not connected by other aspects of life, except for learning, so they do not know too much about each other. Their union brings only psychological satisfaction and excludes close contact. Meetings between teacher and student are usually limited in time and continue for a certain period.

However, the relationship with the teacher is very important in the lives of children, and children are very worried if they do not work out. In this situation, the teacher, as a more experienced one, has the task of creating and maintaining goodwill and mutual understanding. The relationship between the teacher and the student is based on their joint work, as well as success in achieving the goal. The learning process depends on what kind of relationship develops between the student and the teacher.

It all starts with the teacher, with his ability to organize pedagogically expedient relationships with schoolchildren as the basis for creative communication. The teacher is the one who shares knowledge, wisdom and experience, and the student adopts them. Additional education is based on the principle of freedom of choice, and if the parameters of interaction "teacher - student" are not adequate to the needs of both subjects, then there is no need to talk about the quality of education, because the very fact of interaction will not be real. There is also the opposite problem: it is possible to build very comfortable relationships with a student, but their constructiveness in terms of solving educational and developmental problems will be minimal. Thus, it is necessary to find an answer to the question: how to build a relationship with a student so that interaction with him allows you to get the maximum result in the field of education and personal development, and at the same time remains promising for further constructive communication. The answer to this question can be a teacher-student interaction model, the purpose of which is to optimize the learning process.

Teachers are not always aware of their leading role in organizing contacts. The main thing in communication between teacher and students should be a relationship based on respect and exactingness. The teacher needs to pay attention to the promptness of the beginning of contact, the formation of the basis of democratization - the feeling of "we", the introduction of personal aspects in interaction with children, the demonstration of one's disposition towards the class, the demonstration of the goals of the activity, the transfer of students' understanding by the teacher of their internal state, organize integral contact with the class, change the stereotypical negative attitudes towards individual students.

A teacher with a stable emotionally positive attitude towards children, a business-like response to shortcomings in academic work and behavior, in a calm and even tone in the address, the schoolchildren are relaxed, sociable, trusting. The correct style of communication creates an atmosphere of emotional well-being, which largely determines the effectiveness of educational work. A correctly found style of pedagogical communication, corresponding to the unique individuality of the teacher, contributes to the solution of many problems.

An important point in teaching in general is that each student can be convinced of the importance of not only mastering solid knowledge, but also developing mental abilities. The student is not alone at school. He works together with others: students and teachers. They turn to each other for help, not being afraid to admit that they do not understand something.

The most important aspects of cooperation:
- the ability to listen to each other;
- make joint decisions;
- trust each other;
- feel responsible for the work of the group.

Pedagogical tact, sensitive attitude towards students, certainly play decisive role in the success of the teacher. This is a very important part of the teacher's skill. And it largely depends on the relationship between the teacher and the student. But pedagogical tact does not completely solve the problem of relationships.

Foreign researchers in their studies also indicated that children tend to prefer teachers who have the following characteristics:
1. Human qualities - kindness, cheerfulness, responsibility, balance.
2. Organizational qualities - justice, consistency, honesty, respect for others.
3. Business qualities - usefulness, democracy, the ability to interest.
4. Appearance- well dressed, pleasant voice, general attractiveness.

In high school, popular teachers were those who know how to present educational material vividly, vividly, problematically.

I would like to note that in the teacher-student relationship, in addition to the selected personal or professional qualities of the teacher, it is also assumed that the student's expectations are taken into account, which are partially expressed in specific requirements for the teacher's behavior. It is important to study them in terms of age, i.e. find out what students want and expect from teachers different ages, and how those expectations change from one class to another.

The teacher's inability to meet the student's expectations and inattention to these expectations can give rise to a negative attitude towards the teacher himself, towards his subject, and lead to sharp conflicts.

Conflicts are extremely diverse phenomena.
They can be intrapersonal, the clash of two incompatible
desires, opposite tendencies, when the main
needs of the individual, damage to the values ​​\u200b\u200bof "I".

Usually in schools there are conflicts between a teacher and a student in
adolescence. It is important here that the teacher must clearly understand the main causes of conflict relationships and know real ways their warnings.

Specific Causes of Teacher-Student Conflicts
1. Insufficient professionalism of the teacher as a subject and educator, manifested in the nervous relationship of the teacher with children:
in demonstrating their superiority, their special status;
in serious errors of interaction, such as discrimination in relation to individual students, open or masked violation of pedagogical ethics on the basis of the struggle for leadership;
in the pedagogically unprofessional actions of teachers: the commanding tone, the teacher's cry, which often provokes gross violations of discipline by students;
in the teacher's biased attitude towards students, manifested in the systematic underestimation of grades, in the allocation of "favorites";
in the unauthorized establishment by the teacher of the number and forms of testing the knowledge of students that are not provided for by the program and sharply exceeding the normative teaching load children;
unable to organize cognitive interest students to their subject;
in "having labels", for example, an underachieving student;
in focusing the attention of others on the psychological problems and shortcomings of the student;
in the assessment of the act, based on the subjective perception of the personality of the student;
inability to organize classes with all students.
2. Violation of school requirements by students: unpreparedness of home
assignments; intentional violation of discipline; absenteeism without a valid reason.
3. The manifestation of personal conflicts of both the student and the teacher.

How do students want to see their teacher?
1. moral quality(fair, respects human dignity, trusts).
2. Love for your subject.

3. A high-quality good class teacher, wants to make the life of children exciting, interesting, does not like to command, gives good advice.

Negative qualities of teachers:
1. Shouts, interrupts, does not listen to the end.
2. Highlights individual students.
3. Picky, tries to punish for every misconduct.
4. Requires unconditional submission from the student.
5. Treats them like they are small.
6. Disrespectful.
7. Doesn't know how to keep a secret.

How can conflicts be prevented and how to ensure that teachers and students are in good relations:
1. Skillfully conduct Organizing time lesson, not to leave a single student in inactivity.
2. Create an atmosphere of continuous communication with the class.
3. Demanding to himself and to the students about the full readiness for the lesson.
4. Knowledge of the subject "excellent", fluency in it. Application of different methods and forms of training.
5. Fulfillment and striving to fulfill the set goal: to achieve complete assimilation of the material with all students without exception.
6. Rational use time, cherishes every minute of the lesson.
7. Achieve complete assimilation of the material.
8. Organization individual work, especially with those who are given a difficult subject. They should be asked more in the lesson, tugged at and disturbed more.
9. Organize work with "difficult" children, continuously ask, make them think, find more interesting ways teaching.
10. Respectful attitude to the personality of the student, not to allow all sorts of insults, nicknames, remarks.

It is possible to indicate at least three most significant features of the type of learning interaction.

Firstly, each student is included in the solution of productive tasks not at the end, but at the beginning of the process of mastering new subject content, on the basis of specially organized active interaction and cooperation with the teacher and other students.

Secondly, situations of interaction and cooperation, being specific means solving productive problems and the condition for students to master the methods cognitive activity and interpersonal relationships, undergo changes in the process of communication, thereby ensuring the formation of mechanisms for self-regulation of the behavior and personality of the student.

Third, in the process joint decision productive tasks, students master, first of all, the mechanism of meaning formation and goal formation, which ensures a more productive and motivated mastery of operational and technical means of performing a new activity.

And no matter what innovations are introduced, in the school, like hundreds and thousands of years ago, there are participants educational process: teacher and pupil. Between it (always) is an ocean of knowledge and reefs of contradictions. And that's okay. Any ocean contradicts, hinders, but it endows those who overcome it with constantly changing landscapes, the vastness of the horizon, the secret life of its depths, a long-awaited and unexpectedly growing coast. And the teacher will always be the captain in this voyage, the main navigator of the wiring through the reefs.