Fear of talking to strangers. Fear of communicating with people: causes, symptoms, types of fear and expert advice

Are you bad at communicating with others? What is the reason for your behavior? Are you aware that you have trouble making contacts? Fear of communication with people is It is impossible to call it a disease in full. It is easy to get rid of a phobia with a little effort and a lot of desire to become better.

The reasons

Every effect has its cause, and this must be understood. If you are faced with a psychological problem, then you need to think about what the true problem of your condition is. The fear of communicating with people in the soul of a person can arise for various reasons. Here are the most common ones:

Dislike of criticism. A person does not want to communicate with others, because he believes that they criticize his activities too much. And it doesn't matter if people's opinions are objective or not. The person cannot admit that he is wrong, and it is much easier for him to hide in solitude than to flaunt the result of his activity.
Embarrassment. Modesty is another reason for the fear of communication. A person cannot talk to strangers, because inside he is fettered by fear. Dangerous mix feelings out of fear, fear of doing something wrong, fear of saying something wrong and fear of being ridiculed does not give the person the opportunity to open his mouth.
Mental stress. A person in whose life there is no certainty will be in an excited state. It is quite natural that such a person will not want to communicate with anyone.
Fear of being ridiculed. A person with low self-esteem is afraid to talk to others for the reason that he does not want to be laughed at. Such a person with low self-esteem is more comfortable living in his cocoon and not talking to anyone.

Problems from childhood

Almost all psychological problems of a person are laid in him at a young age. A person may not even realize that her parents cripple her soul. Often this happens unintentionally. Adults act the way they think is right. They may not think that with their actions and words they are laying a program with which the person will have to exist all his life. For example, the harmless phrase "don't talk to strangers", which is said 10 times a day, is deposited in the mind of a child. It is not surprising that, growing up, it is difficult for a person to get to know people. After all, every time a person has to overcome parental prohibitions. How else do adults cripple the lives of children? They scold the kids for being too open, naive and friendly. Children begin to withdraw into themselves, and parents are quite happy with this. The child does not dangle under his feet, he can find something to do and enjoy spending time alone. This alignment of things begins to frighten adults only when the child becomes a teenager. But at this age, the situation is already difficult to correct.

Manifestation

How does a person suffering from a phobia of fear of communicating with people look and behave? The manifestations of this mental illness are:

Silence. A person who is afraid of others will remain silent. It will be difficult to talk to him. If he agrees to answer questions, the answers will be monosyllabic. The person will not strive to build trusting relationship and silence will not embarrass a person in the slightest.
Passivity. In the company of cheerful and active people a person who suffers from social phobia will be visible. Such a person will not show any activity. He will try to hide behind the bright and open people.
Speech defects. A person who is afraid to talk to others may stutter, stutter, swallow endings, or skip letters in words during a conversation. Such speech defects will greatly cut the hearing.
Fussiness. An insecure person who feels out of place will constantly twist something in his hands, look around, fidget in place, or shift his foot from foot to foot. All signs of excitement will be perfectly expressed in his gestures.

Types of fear

Fear of communicating with strangers cannot be called normal. If a person does not feel self-confidence, then he may suffer various types fear. What are they like?

Anxiety. it mild form fear that is felt more subconsciously than consciously. The person understands that she is in an unpleasant situation for herself, but so far no danger has arisen and there is time to figure out how to get out of the circumstances.
Fright. The person realized that he was in bad story, and now all her efforts are aimed at somehow getting out of the situation.
Panic. A person loses his mind and commits rash acts. Such a reaction can be a response to someone's action or to someone's words.
Phobia. The stage of fear that lives on the subconscious. Phobias can haunt a person all his life if he does not take care to solve his psychological problems.

Can fear be overcome?

What is the fear of talking to people called? The phobia is called social phobia. Is it possible to fight it? Like any purchased mental disorder, it can be cured if the problem is detected in time. A person who has realized that he is afraid to communicate with people should go to a psychotherapist. The specialist will help to identify the cause of fear and eliminate unpleasant consequences. If there is no time or desire to communicate with a specialist, you can help yourself on your own. But in this case, you need to understand that a person will have to make more efforts to achieve a satisfactory result. And than older man the more effort he has to put in. It is not easy to change yourself, because breaking and reshaping your consciousness is hellish work.

Boost your self-esteem

Do not know how to get rid of the fear of communicating with people? Who is afraid to communicate with others? People who are insecure. Are you one of them? Then it's time to work on yourself. Think about what your problem is and why you lack self-confidence. Does someone around you belittle your dignity? Then it's time to say goodbye to this ill-wisher. Did your parents tell you as a child that you can't achieve anything in life? Write down all your successes in a notebook and think: if you were able to achieve everything that you wrote about, why can't you fulfill the rest of your desires? There is nothing difficult or impossible in life. You just need to choose the right vector of development. Raise your self-esteem. It will help you to understand that you are interesting, smart and positive person. When you can realize these truths, you will be able to understand that the people around you will be happy if you become their friend or acquaintance. People with high self-esteem there is nothing to be afraid of someone else's opinion, so they easily make new acquaintances.

Gain experience

Looking for an answer to the question of what is the name of the fear of communicating with people? Psychotherapists called it social phobia. People who cannot and do not want to make new acquaintances suffer through life because they cannot communicate with others. How can such a problem be solved? The experience of communication will help such individuals get rid of the problem and phobia. The first thing to do is to communicate more with your acquaintances and friends. As you develop your communication skills, it will become easier for you to communicate with strangers. When you can maintain a dialogue with your loved ones for a long time, start going out to new level. Start short conversations public transport or in a store.

How to overcome the fear of communicating with people? The more you communicate, the better. Remember that the experience of passive communication is just as beneficial as the experience of active conversation. If you are still shy or afraid to talk, then listen to those who are good at it. Learn from these people, and then soon you will be able to get rid of the phobia.

Take the training

Do you not understand how the masters of the word communicate well and fluently with others? To overcome a phobia (fear) of communicating with people, it is not necessary to go to a psychotherapist. You can attend specialized courses that will help you become more liberated. Experts will tell you how to behave, how to present yourself and what and with whom you should talk. In practical classes, you will be given the opportunity to master theoretical knowledge. Don't be afraid to change yourself. The worst thing is to come to the first lesson. Already after the first visit, you will notice the result, and therefore continue your training with pleasure.

Improve Yourself

Fear of communicating with people occurs in those people who have nothing to talk about. If you consider yourself a boring person, then why should others think differently about you? You need to practice your self-improvement. Smart people are drawn to, they are respected and supported. FROM interesting person nice to talk, he can tell something unusual or non-trivial. You need to become that person. It is clear that it is impossible to know everything about everything. Nevertheless, try to constantly expand your horizons. Don't neglect the latest news. You can recognize them both from TV and from social networks. Do not limit yourself, be a versatile person,

Get out of your comfort zone

How to get rid of the fear of communicating with people? To get a result, you need to start doing something that you have not done before. You are sitting at home and want to magic wand has your life changed? You have to put in the effort to get better. Go where you don't go more often. For example, if you are interested in art, then visit exhibitions and meet new people there. Do you love construction? Sign up for a club of interest and go there. Make it a rule to do something every week that will help you get out of your comfort zone and get closer to your dreams.

Don't wind yourself up

Fear of communication with people occurs in those who think too much about upcoming events. Sometimes people wind themselves up so much that they are pierced by fear, and at the right moment they cannot open their mouths. There is no need to worry in anticipation of a crowded event. Just trust that everything will be fine. There is no need to wind yourself up and imagine the most tragic consequences of the event. Better not to let negative thoughts then you will go to meet positive attitude. And in good mood you can overcome shyness. It's great if you can still find the motivation to cheer yourself up even more.

Are you afraid to interact with people? When talking with an unfamiliar person, is it difficult for you to answer this or that question? Maybe you are afraid to say something stupid, afraid of what others will think of you? When this happens to us, this is a really serious problem, because it prevents you from freely communicating with people and building your life.

I'm afraid of people, they are evil

Fear of communication can be different forms. Often this is manifested in the fact that a person is afraid of aggression from others and therefore simply does not communicate with them. When talking to people, he is afraid that they will answer him in a boorish way or look askance with an unfriendly look, that he will be hurt by a rude word. And this leads to the fact that even asking a passerby for the time on the street is the same as entering a hungry tiger's cage. Such a person is afraid of being rejected and misunderstood. He takes everything personally and feels only an embittered society against him alone.

I'm afraid to say something stupid and be ridiculed

For another, the main problem is that he is terribly worried about what others think of him. A person is afraid that when communicating about him they will think badly. It seems to him that all the people who meet on the street look with an evaluating look. And in their thoughts it certainly does not add up best opinion about him. And all this leads to the fact that he begins to reduce communication with people, minimizes contacts, as he is afraid of someone else's low opinion of himself.

When communicating in a company, he is very worried, some kind of awkwardness appears, he begins to convulsively think about what to say. As a result, he is silent for a long time, terribly nervous because of pauses. But his fear binds his throat, and he is afraid to say something stupid. After communication, it seems to him that he has spoken a bunch of unreasonable, stupid words, and he is tormented by the thought that now they will think badly of him.

I'm afraid to show myself in the company

The third is afraid that all attention will be focused on him when he wants to say something. He blushes, and his pulse rises from embarrassment that everyone is looking at him and waiting for his speech. He himself does not notice how his voice begins to tremble treacherously, his hands shake, and the speeding up speech swallows and smears all his words. He begins to mumble, stumble, stumble, he is no longer able to find words to express his thoughts. As a result, he cannot connect two phrases.

What are the roots of the fear of communicating with people and how can it be overcome?

What only psychologists do not advise in similar situations: do exercises that allow you to develop communication skills and skills to overcome fear; always set ourselves up for the fact that all the people with whom we meet and communicate do not wish us harm. They suggest saying this to yourself every day, setting yourself up for good relationships with people. They offer advice like: “This fear is because we do not accept and do not love ourselves. Love yourself and everything will pass. Good advice, is not it? If they had worked more, it would have been easier for everyone, and there would not have been so many unhappy people in the world. But they don't work.

When a person is afraid to communicate with people, it greatly interferes with his life, it brings suffering, and for many even the meaning of existence is lost. But a person continues to want to communicate with others, whether it is a passer-by on the street, a neighbor in line, colleagues at work. But he cannot do this, because he is afraid, and he himself does not understand why. Let's try to understand the reason for such fears with the help of Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology.

This fear is so different

As Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology explains, there are eight types of psyche, which are called vectors. The vector is the innate properties and desires given by nature that form the character of a person, his features of thinking, determine his actions and actions.

Each vector has its own natural fears, they are quite specific. But only one single vector absorbed all possible phobias, anxiety disorders and became just a champion in fears - it is called visual.

Fear has big eyes

A person with a visual vector, first of all, experiences fear for own life- this is the primitive state of the visual vector, due to its historical development. The fear of death is characteristic of its representatives from ancient times.

People with a visual vector are sensitive, sensitive people with a very subtle gentle psyche and soul. They are kind and incapable of harming anyone. It is embedded in their psyche. And in ancient times, miners, warriors, defenders were needed who could kill a mammoth or protect a tribe from an enemy.

The flock did not need such people - they can neither get nor kill, only an extra mouth. Boys with a visual vector faced an unenviable fate - they were sacrificed. And girls were taken on the hunt for sensitive eyes that could see danger or the enemy, where others did not see them. The fact is that visual people see everything differently than others, they have very sharp eyesight. They are able to analyze visual information 40 times more than others. Such girls were chosen as day guards of the pack, for their sharp eyesight. But they also had their own danger, their own fear of being eaten by a predator.

And to this day, this fear remains with us, only in a more hidden form. We are afraid that we will be "eaten" - not physically, so verbally or just with a look. We even say this: "He ate me with his eyes." We try not to stick out so that we are not noticed. We are afraid to show ourselves, and suddenly there is danger, because predators are everywhere. When talking with strangers, our voice may become uncertain, as if we are not comfortable in front of a person, as if we are not standing on firm feet. There is a fear that we will not be able to stand up for ourselves with a word if we are told something unflattering in response.

Self-doubt is characteristic of visual people. When a visual person has no friends, no outside support, no feeling that someone needs him, no emotional connections that a visual person needs, then self-doubt appears. With the fear of “being eaten”, all this turns into a fear of communicating with people.

Hostages of the first experience

Another reason for the fear of communication can be a sad first experience and fixation on it, which the owners of the anal vector are prone to. These are thorough, slow, calm, assiduous people. Such people do not have a flexible psyche, but a phenomenal memory, they remember all the past, both good and bad.

A person with an anal vector is characterized by a desire to accumulate and pass on experience to the next generation. All properties of his psyche are given for this task. But these properties can play a trick on him when used for other purposes. Memory is given to him for collecting experience, accumulation and transfer further. And he begins to remember and accumulate bad experience of past states, which slows down and leads to unconscious isolation from people.

His fear can be fixed from childhood from insults, name-calling, or because classmates bullied him at school. A person with an anal vector remembers bad experiences for a long time. And if at school, in the yard, in the company of peers they mocked him, humiliated him, then he will always remember this. And then generalize this experience to everyone - all people are the same, all are evil, and only one bad thing can be expected from everyone. Thus, without realizing it, we record a bad experience for life. We do not commensurate our small negative experience with our whole life and get stuck in the past.

We want to have many friends and acquaintances and spend interesting time, but communication is a skill that has been developed since childhood, and which, under certain circumstances, simply did not form at the right time. If there was a bad communication experience, then the person is simply afraid to further attack himself from outside. Classmates mocked, humiliated, called names. And when you grow up and become an adult, you are already afraid to communicate.

Psychologists say: "Just feel more confident in society, don't be afraid to express your opinion." And if it’s scary to express an opinion, because there was an experience that they attacked you for your, in their opinion, not correct thoughts. And you have imprinted this experience that all people are evil, from the majority there are only negative emotions and it’s scary to say something - they will look with hatred and disapprovingly perceive.

A visual person, out of fear of people, needs to go into a state of love for a person. This is when fear “for oneself” turns into sympathy and compassion for those who are worse off than us. But sometimes he cannot do this because he still has an anal vector. He cannot, because people once caused him pain, suffering, and this was fixed in his memory. He is prevented from being realized in the visual vector by the sad experience of the past and the burden of resentment on all people.

Who cares what people think of him?

Perhaps you care what people think of you? What will be viewed critically? System-Vector Psychology explains this state by the presence of certain properties of the anal vector.

The owners of the anal vector are real clean, neat people. They have perfect order in the house, clean tablecloths and dishes, always polished clean shoes, they are neat - not a single spot, not an extra fold on their clothes. Such people have the most dear and their greatest fear of people - to be "dirty", to be dishonored.

It is important for us to be appreciated, marked with a plus sign. For a person with an anal vector, the main thing is that the reputation is good, clean, unsullied, that there is authority, honor. We feel good among other people when we are valued and respected, this makes us feel joyful and satisfied in life. Sometimes we even become painfully addicted to approval.

But it happens that you meet smart people, the best professionals, and it’s even inconvenient to open your mouth and insert a word - real erudite. You feel your lack of knowledge. You catch yourself thinking that it's scary to say stupid things and be ridiculed. What if they ridicule your thoughts, expose them to ridicule - it’s scary to be disgraced with your modest knowledge and skills. And when there is a small circle of communication, the skill and practice of expressing one's knowledge and thoughts verbally is generally lost. On people, there is an effect of inhibition and fear: “What if I say something wrong?”. Afraid of disgrace, a person experiences a strong fear of saying something stupid, saying something wrong.

We care about what other people think of us. A person wants to be the best for everyone. And if he is also with, then the best. But if he said something was wrong, and they looked at him with a reproachful, evaluating, disapproving look, then the person immediately got stress: “They thought badly of me! There will be an opinion about me that I am stupid and stupid. He remembers these states and in the future is already afraid to express his thoughts, as he is afraid to experience shame.

People are not animals. "Bite" only from shortages

Painful communication experience different reasons, can make a person want to close himself from people and become a recluse. If we were hermit crabs, we probably wouldn't care. Voluntarily exposing themselves to loneliness, they would hide in their shell and live there until old age. But man is a social being, he cannot live alone. He needs to communicate and maintain contact with people. And fear becomes a real barrier for him on the way to a happy life.

When a person begins to understand other people, to see them from the inside, what drives them, he can see that some are unhappy because of their lacks. It turns out that no one wants to “eat” you or even offend you with a word, they just snap, swear, insult, mock because of their pain, feel hatred because of their bad conditions.

And you no longer see that people are animals, they will immediately devour anything, but you see their pain and suffering. Then there is a desire only to sympathize, realizing that the life of the interlocutor is not so. And there is no longer that fear that you will be offended or perceived differently - what has been said is no longer taken to heart, since, in fact, it does not apply to you in any way. A person speaks with his lacks, and if he is hurt, he will project it onto others.

Thanks to system-vector psychology, fears go away, and any. This is the effect of understanding the causes and the human psyche as a whole. Here are just a few who managed to get rid of fears:

The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan allows you to understand the cause of your fears, to realize their roots, to work out states in depth, and also to understand other people, their states and shortages.

The article was written based on the materials of the training " System-Vector Psychology»

Fear of communication with people prevents a person from expressing his opinion, expressing feelings, talking about his ideas. In fact, this fear prevents you from living a full life. But how to get rid of the fear of communication? This is our article. Reading 😉

Fear of communicating with people. The reasons

First you need to understand the causes of fear.

People who are afraid of communication are afraid of everything related to society: talking with strangers or unfamiliar people, the attention of passers-by, their views, public speaking, communication in small groups, shopping, social events.

Socially phobic people constantly think that they will not be understood in this way. Being the center of attention, they are afraid to say something wrong. They feel like everyone is expecting something from them.

How is this behavior formed? There is only one answer: the basis of social phobia is education.

Let everyone now remember childhood:

Were your parents overprotective?
Did they suffer from a fear of communication?
how often did they criticize you, were they too strict?

People with whom their parents were too strict in childhood, or, conversely, hyper-caring, it will seem that others always look at them with condemnation.

Also, if the parents had a pronounced fear of communication, then they naturally infect their children with it.

Children, like sponges, absorb the way of thinking and behavior of their parents. Great luck if a child is born in a family of two conscious people who do not transfer their problems and repressed needs to children.

Unfortunately, perfect option is extremely rare. Therefore, we have modern people, a bunch of different stereotypes that have nothing to do with reality. One of them is just the fear of communication.

Fear of communication is the fear of getting a bad grade from others. It should not be confused with introversion.

For example, many people are afraid of speaking in public, this does not mean that each of them is a sociophobe.

How to overcome the fear of communicating with people?

So get ready! 23 ways that will change you.

Fear of communication with girls, fear of communication with men, fear of communication with colleagues… It's time to get rid of this shit!

1. Tell yourself, "It doesn't matter!"

In order to overcome the fear of communication, you need to get rid of the block that prevents you from feeling comfortable. This block is the thought that something is wrong with you, the belief that other people have a bad opinion of you.

If you don't believe in yourself, you can't be a genius.

Honore de Balzac

But really, what difference does it make what they think of you?

Stop dwelling on the thoughts that you can say something wrong or do something that you will be considered stupid. Just be yourself and give others the same right, let them think and do what they want!

Whenever you think about what people think of you, say to yourself, “It doesn't matter at all! Dog with all this!”. Make a conscious effort, catch the moments when you get into self-flagellation and correct the situation!

We can only control our thoughts and actions, start changing yourself, and the world around you will change by itself.

2. Use confident postures and gestures.

Insecure people even physically look too stiff. They try to take up less space to become invisible, avoid eye contact, and speak quickly to avoid being interrupted.

This happens because sociophobes always experience stress when communicating. As a result, the body produces hormones (cortisol, adrenaline, etc.) that prepare a person to fight the outside world and change his behavior.

Right now, you have everything you need to handle everything the world can throw at you.

Brian Tracy

There is an interesting pattern with body language and thinking: in order to feel confident in yourself, sometimes it is enough to act like a confident person. AT reverse side It also works: for example, by accustoming yourself to walk in small steps, cringing, you are guaranteed self-doubt.

Here are some tips for communicating:

Make sure your back is straight;
Do not make sudden movements, everything should be smooth and natural;
Watch your arms and legs. Remember that crossed arms and legs indicate shyness;
Do not hesitate to look into the eyes of the interlocutor;
Watch confident people. How do they speak? What do they do about it? Get armed 😉

Learn the details of body language:

3. Ask yourself: What could be the worst?

Think about the worst thing that can happen when interacting with another person? Does he think you're not a very interesting conversationalist? Does he think you are stupid?

Even if this is true, why is it important to you? The world will not collapse if someone thinks badly of you. It's impossible to please everyone, so stop caring about other people's thoughts. After all, the most important thing is what you think of yourself and how you behave.

4. Set a goal

Set yourself an inspiring goal. Find something that will give you the strength to face the fear of communication. Then everything insignificant, for example, the opinions of others, will fade into the background for you.

As the influence of other people on you will decrease, peace will come to you. You will appreciate and respect yourself.

5. practice communication

In order to develop any skill, you need to practice it.

visit social events. Usually shy people stick to each other, but you need to go beyond your limits! Practice communicating with confident people!

The more you communicate, the better!

6. communicate with different people

Talk to your grandmother at the entrance, with the cashier in the store, with the conductor on the bus.

Instead of talking only to the people you think can be of benefit, talk to everyone and just like that! Upgrade your skill!

If you enjoy the conversation rather than thinking about the outcome, you are more open and comfortable.

7. Organize an event

Are you ready to organize some kind of event and invite unfamiliar people to it? Not? And confident people are ready!

Think about activities you can organize. It could be going to the movies, going to nature, or having tea in the yard. Come up with something interesting, start taking the lead in the conversation, and people will look forward to meeting you.

Start facing your fears. Stop living like cats and dogs!

8. don't be afraid of rejection

People with social phobia are often overly sensitive. They are very afraid of being misunderstood. Thinking about possible rejection interferes with their self-expression.

But, if the other person refuses you something, then in most cases this is not your fault. This is his decision, his life, his problems, after all!

Be self sufficient. It's time to finally start saying what you want without caring about possible failures and lack of understanding.

9. Leave your comfort zone more often

Make a list of people and situations that scare you.

Do what you fear. Start small: say hello to your neighbor, sing your favorite song on camera.

At the beginning, you may not believe that you will ever have the courage to face the scariest situations on your list. But over time, you will see that there is nothing wrong with them. You will click them like nuts 😉

10. Remember: learn from mistakes

Make a mistake. Try and fail again. Then try again. Look for yourself. Don't waste your time, don't be afraid to sound stupid or funny. Get out of your puddle.

Some people don't take a single step out of their comfort zone because they're afraid of making a mistake. They want to stay there no matter how much it limits their options.

If you are not bombed when you are wasting your time, you have no chance in the fight for your life.

Start running in the morning, wake up earlier, reduce the amount of sugar in your diet, start traveling. In a word - act, and there will always be mistakes, there is nothing wrong with them.

11. Spend time with confident people.

You are the five people with whom you spend most time.

Jim Rohn

Spend time with people whose qualities you admire. They will infect you with their confidence and determination. If there is no possibility of personal communication, listen to their lectures, watch webinars.

This will help you improve your communication skills.

12. Meditate

Meditation is a widely accepted treatment for many fears.

Find a comfortable, quiet place. Sit down and close your eyes. Pay attention to your breathing, don't try to control it.

Usually the mind wanders during meditation. Don't control your thoughts. Just let them come and go, and then return your attention to your breath.

After a few minutes, imagine one of the situations causing fear. How will you behave? Don't fight these feelings. Remind yourself to embrace your fear, not run away from it.

Meditation will help you control feelings when communicating with other people, you will be more confident and calm.

13. be yourself

Sounds trite, but this is the most best advice. Imagine that there are people around you who understand you.

Do not be afraid to talk about your desires, thoughts, feelings. If you put on a mask, then the interlocutor will not know what you think and feel. Consequently, the likelihood that he may unknowingly hurt you and your feelings will increase.

In addition, if you constantly adapt to everyone in a row, then surround yourself with unnecessary people. Those who do not understand, support and accept you for who you are.

14. be optimistic

Get rid of all the negativity in your life. Replace it with positivity. Then you will believe in yourself and stop being afraid of the company of other people.

Catch the wonderful moments, learn to notice the small joys of life. Admire sunrises and sunsets, silence and songs.

Love, be interested, appreciate, read, rejoice!

15. love yourself

Separate yourself from negative people and situations. Do not think that you are inferior or imperfect. Instead, learn to respect yourself. By allowing outsiders to oppress them, people lose confidence in themselves and their abilities. Don't allow it.

Give yourself gifts more often, do not skimp on good things, they will give you such right feeling confidence.

16. tell the truth

In order to make life easier for yourself and others, you should tell the truth. Then you do not have to be afraid that it will suddenly pop up.

Don't be afraid to admit what you want and feel or what you don't know. People like sincerity, so in most cases they will accept you for who you are.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. There is nothing funnier in the world.

George Bernard Shaw

But you do not need to immediately tell everyone you meet about everything. Approach this issue selectively. If a person is ready to listen to you, then start small, gradually moving on to more serious things.

17. Smile before starting a conversation

Many experts say: "Smiling is the best answer!" . Smiling will definitely help you start a conversation with anyone, be it a stranger or someone you know well.

Even when you have nothing to say, don't be afraid - smile instead, you'll see, the conversation will go like clockwork 😉

18. Rehearse communication

If you are not confident in your abilities, try to rehearse the upcoming meeting.

Rehearse on your own or with close friends you trust. At the same time, let them point out mistakes to you, then you are more likely not to make them in the future.

19. communicate in simple and understandable language

Many people think that using unusual words or unique terms make their speech more interesting and refined.

But, if you are not understood, then there is no reason to continue to be clever and pour incomprehensible words. Be simple.

20. talk to the person one on one

One of better ways to overcome the fear of communication is a face-to-face conversation with a person you trust.

Especially when you have something to say. Share your experiences, thoughts and feelings. Feel free to ask for advice. You must feel that you are not alone, that you are valued and respected.

21. talk about what you know

An expert is a person who has made all possible mistakes in a very narrow specialty.

Niels Bohr

The more confident you are in what you are talking about, the less fear you will experience when communicating. But don't be too rude and pushy, as other people may have their own point of view on the subject matter.

22. Take mini-pauses when talking

If a person asks you questions, take your time to answer them. Think before you say something. No one will call you a bad conversationalist just because you think before you answer.

After a little thought, speak boldly and calmly.

23. Be happy

The easiest and at the same time the most difficult way.

Those who are happy do not wonder how to overcome the fear of communicating with people. Be one of them.

To find out what it takes, read our mega article on happiness:

Overcoming the fear of communication. conclusion

Fear of communication is quite common among people. To overcome it, you do not need to undergo expensive therapy. Use the advice of this article, start changing yourself, become a full-fledged person, then you will have nothing to fear from communication.

It's not easy, but the result is worth all the difficulties.

Last tip from the site:

Smile more often!

In conclusion - video: fear of communicating with people, what to do?

Communication is a natural element in the existence of every person. Through communication, one can exchange skills, skills, satisfy social needs. But at the present time, when the circle of connections is expanding, the fear of communication is often formed.

Fear of talking to people

Fear of contact with people

The fear of communication is called social phobia. This pathology is attributed to the powers of specialists in the field of psychology, helping people who are afraid to talk. There are the following types of fear:

communication with people;
relationship with unknown people;
communication with influential people;
fear of talking on the phone.

Causes and symptoms of fear

Social phobia will be easier to eliminate if you initially determine the factors that caused this fear. Significant reasons include:

criticisms from authoritative elders (parents, teachers, leaders);
mockery of peers: comrades, classmates;
unsuccessful start of the conversation;
unsuccessful public speech.

Significant symptoms of this phobia are:

rapid heart rate during contact with another person;
chills, profuse sweating, muscle tone;
drying of the oral mucosa, pain in the head and a feeling of elevated body temperature;
pain in the abdomen, malfunctions of the stomach and redness of the skin of the face.

Social phobia greatly interferes with working capacity and learning, negatively affects privacy. Because of this, it is necessary to eliminate it as soon as possible.

Formation of a phobia in an adult person

Communication involves the presence of at least a couple of people. If a person is faced with communication at work, then such an ailment in this case does not threaten. Knowledge of communication is dulled in certain cases.

In people who for a long time did not communicate with other people, namely: women doing housework and girls on maternity leave.
People whose fear is interconnected with a high assessment of a personal nature. Such people, most often, do not have friends, they shy away from all kinds of contacts, so that no one destroys an impeccable image. If, nevertheless, a person falls into the zone of communication, but is not in the center of attention and becomes a victim of mockery and barbs, then she leaves for a long time and closes herself in herself.
People with low self-esteem and most complexes who are afraid of being misunderstood. Complexes lead to secrecy, promote seclusion and isolation even from close surroundings. It seems to such people that they are deprived of attention and care.
Women who are raising a child. Due to the fact that communication occurs only with the child, a complex of inferiority is formed, thoughts appear about the unattractiveness and unfulfillment of oneself as a person. As a result, family relationships may suffer.

Communication of two opposites

Communication with strangers for a person who does not suffer from this ailment can be shocking, but for someone who is afraid of communicating with people - not at all real. A stranger is fraught with a lot of unknowns and mysteries, perhaps unforeseen in the current situations - all this frightens a person with a phobia. It becomes problematic not only communication, but also acquaintance.

Communication with the opposite sex is fraught with many specifics, and also causes problems for people who are inherently afraid of communication. Most often, guys suffer from this, since the initiative of the first steps falls to their lot. Subdivided into two categories.

Young people who are not confident in themselves and in their appearance so much that communication with girls leads them to a stupor, endure this, embarrassed and holding back emotions.
Young people who, out of fear, show an excess of rudeness. In this case, the guy behaves in a boorish way towards the girl or has a large number of girls to raise their coolness in the eyes of their comrades. Only under such a protective mask is a cowardly, indecisive boy hiding.

Inheritance from mother to daughter

Experts find that a phobia has a negative impact on health, bringing uncomfortable sensations of a psychological and physical nature. Twitching, involuntary and annoying movements occur. Such stages of the disease require a professional approach of a psychologist. Women are also predisposed to phobia. Even in childhood, the disease can begin its origin. First of all, the attitude of the mother to her daughter and to herself plays a role. If the mother perceives herself as attractive, proportionately regards her external data, then the daughter is not threatened by the formation of a phobia. But if the mother is not self-confident and because of this she pours negativity on the child, arguing that her son or daughter is the worst of all, then this contributes to the formation of an ailment from childhood.

Fear of powerful people

In the workplace and at home, you need to answer the phone. There are cases of fear to talk in this category, due to ignorance and unknown reaction of the interlocutor. A person is self-critical about the sound of his voice and is afraid of mockery in his address about this.

Such a phobia is not critical, but it needs to overcome the fear of communicating with people.

Formation of a phobia in a child

Such an ailment is considered a disease psychological nature, but in a child this may be the result of incorrect upbringing and development. Often the formation of a phobia originates in adolescence, when the child matures as a boy and a girl. Change during appearance lead to the formation of most complexes. But the initial alarm bells that can lead to the formation of an ailment can be found in educational institution. If a child has kindergarten such a phobia of a minor form is taken as the norm, then in adolescence, when the child first meets the company of strangers, the phobia is unacceptable. In this case, the child is faced with certain rules behavior and the likelihood of not accepting the child as he is in relation to the family and kindergarten. If the child has not managed to adapt to the new environment, then the help of a psychologist is needed. Significant circumstances for the child during the school period are:

communication with strangers;
conversations with teachers, reports at the blackboard;
public speaking independently.

And also a shy child may feel uncomfortable while eating surrounded by strangers, which is problematic, because he may refuse to eat. It happens that a student does not want to go to school because of anxiety that is not controlled.

The child is afraid to answer at the blackboard

Symptoms of the formation of this phobia:

does not want to attend an educational institution;
does not make contact with peers;
does not communicate with teachers and specialists;
refuses to work at the blackboard;
feels fear when sleeping at home alone.

Parents should talk to the child in a calm manner to prevent further seizures. Do not intimidate the child, because he can classify his parents in the category of menacing persons.

Ways to overcome

In order to overcome the fear of communication and self-doubt, some time is needed. As a rule, the fear of communication with people is overcome within six months. During this period, the specialist copes with the signs that contribute to the formation of the disease, helps to relieve stress. In a neglected form, sedatives and psychological therapy are prescribed. You should not be afraid to take sedatives, as current drugs are not addictive. Parents need to help their children in every possible way in overcoming a phobia by conducting psychological therapy at home in the form of games. For an adult, the following is recommended:

understand and draw conclusions that this fear is not an indicator of an ideal personality;
do not stigmatize people;
try to work in a team, albeit in a small one;
carry out everyday activities, communicating with comrades, relatives, colleagues;
try to stick to your point of view, try to defend it.

Initially, a person must help himself. Otherwise, no therapy will help. Working on yourself can bring long-awaited results, but, most importantly, do not overdo it so as not to increase the level of anxiety.

Most experts have developed a specific sequence of actions for people trying to prevent the fear of speaking.

Try to make eye contact. First, you can try to establish contact in in social networks. In the future, go shopping more and try to communicate with sellers.
Get hold of the phone. This makes it easier to start a conversation, so before making a personal contact, you can try to talk on the phone.
Switch to live chat. In this case, it is worth accepting the appeal and help of sellers in stores and turning to strangers with requests yourself.

A person cannot exist in society without knowing the methods of productive communication. Therefore, it is necessary for every person to overcome the fear of communicating with people.

Most people experience discomfort when communicating in an unfamiliar company, and fear public speaking sometimes causes confusion. Episodic manifestations of anxiety do not indicate serious violations. But if a person constantly worries, getting into the company of people, we can talk about social anxiety, or social phobia. Suffer from fear of people and shy individuals who had problems in childhood.

What is social anxiety

The danger of social anxiety lies in the fact that a person suffering from this disorder nullifies all communication with people, and psychoactive substances - alcohol, drugs - become his constant companion. Moreover, men are more prone to alcoholism.

Signs of social phobia:

limited circle of communication;
fear of social responsibility;
discomfort from attention, fear of looks and observation;
panic before public speaking;
fear of showing displeasure;
avoidance of noisy companies (parties, conventions, concerts);
nervousness in the company, panic attacks.

People with social anxiety disorder worry about what others think of them, so they try to limit contact, work at home, and do not attend public events.

Do not confuse social phobia with introversion. An introvert does not seek communication, he is comfortable and alone. But he does not experience anxiety in society.

Social phobia in half of the cases manifests itself quite early - at 10-20 years. Social anxiety is accompanied by depression, reddening of the face in stressful situations, sweating, hand trembling, increased heart rate, and nausea. Patients with anxiety disorder are helped by cognitive psychology, which includes training and role-playing games. Antidepressants are sometimes prescribed, both prescription and over-the-counter. The drug is selected strictly by a psychiatrist or psychotherapist, since antidepressants have a lot of side effects.

Anxiety in people cause the most common situations. Someone is afraid to publicly speak a prepared speech, someone is afraid to talk with an unfamiliar person, even on the Internet and by phone, someone is afraid to get a job, as they expect a refusal in advance. Especially shy people are afraid of direct contact, they are afraid to look into the eyes.

How to learn to trust a man

Why do people become afraid of communication

Fear of people can be associated with both social phobia and character traits. The fear of communicative interaction is laid down in childhood. If a child was teased for shyness, not accepted into his company, offended, he and during adulthood it won't be easy to be sure. Adult criticism has a significant impact on the formation of personality. The child lives in constant stress and begins to be ashamed of his words and deeds.

If a child considers himself a loser from childhood and it is difficult for him to communicate with people, you need to change the situation. The bullies have grown up, but they still remember that the person was cyberbullied at school. You can move to another city where there are no acquaintances, and start life from scratch. Then you need to make new friends and not dwell on the past. There is no need to be afraid that something will not work out, you can change even after 30 years, and even if already over 60.

The fear of communicating with people is manifested in those who are forced to stay at home for a long time - mothers on maternity leave or pensioners. Isolation leads to the loss of communication skills. In this case, you need to leave the house as much as possible, find interest so as not to fall out of social life. Yoga classes, interest clubs, part-time jobs will help.

Problems are also experienced by those who are unlucky in their personal lives. An unpopular person begins to be afraid of relationships with the opposite sex, afraid of being rejected and misunderstood. If talking is not your forte, you can become a grateful listener. People are so focused on their problems that they need to pour out their soul to someone. Becoming a personal psychologist to the interlocutor, you can quietly move into the category of friends, and over time, count on more. You need to learn to joke, hone your communication skills daily in dealing with random people you meet, and soon you will be able to have casual conversations.

Another common fear is the fear of bosses. When someone occupies a higher position, he seems to us as a kind of unattainable standard. In fact, the boss is the same a common person, with the same problems, he also reports to a superior.

Popular advice given by psychologists: if a person trembles in front of the boss, you can imagine that he is naked. This mental exercise helps relieve anxiety.

Psychopathy signs in men

How to get rid of shyness

People without anxiety disorders experience shyness around strangers. In a close circle, they may feel anger, irritability, misunderstanding, but not panic. Insecure people make too high demands on themselves, idealize others, not noticing their shortcomings.

Tips for fear of people:

When can you become interesting personality, it will become clear that people do not shun you and you have nothing to be ashamed and afraid of. There is no need to be afraid to change the company if aggression is felt. Somewhere you will definitely be accepted and understood, because there are no people absolutely different from anyone. You have to let go of the idea of being unique.

How to deal with anxiety

How to overcome the fear of the crowd

It is easier for a person who is afraid of people to start relationships remotely, gradually moving to face-to-face communication. When relations with a new acquaintance become more trusting, you can ask him to introduce you to your friends. This option of establishing communication is much less traumatic compared to the situation when a person finds himself in a completely unfamiliar company.

It is quite another thing if you are going to perform in front of a large audience. Here you become the center of attention and all eyes are on you. Everyone had to speak in public at least once, for example, at the defense of a diploma.

What to do if there is a fear of the public:

1. Rehearse in front of a mirror. Follow the tone of speech and breathing. Then speak to family and friends. Ask to record yourself on camera and analyze how to hold on and what to work on.
2. Work out the negative scenario. Imagine that the public will perceive you disapprovingly. You should not be afraid of defeat, you should be prepared for failure. You can not allow yourself to be humiliated or justified and run away with a sense of shame.
3. Speak convincingly and breathe deeply and calmly. Proper breathing helps to calm down stressful situation. Be sure to rehearse the speech several times. It is better to speak nonsense confidently than to speak on the case, but embarrassed, blushing and confused in words.
4. Treat speaking in front of a crowd as an adventure. You need to imagine that this is a movie or a scene. You need to try to look liberated, even if everything inside shrinks from fear. The public is charged with confidence and trusts more those who do not hold back and do not hide their eyes.
5. Don't be afraid to be funny. The problem with many shy people is that they are afraid to look stupid, ridiculous. You should pay attention to popular bloggers. Many of them sometimes act stupid, but they radiate confidence - and the public believes them.
6. Don't apologize. Even if it seems that something is wrong in the voice or appearance, you should not focus on it. Apologies are pathetic. There is no need to be overly polite and ingratiating with the public, but ostentatious rudeness is not best method communication with the audience. You need to keep a balance.
7. Record success. Surely the performance will go well. People treat the speaker favorably or loyally. You need to remember the feeling of confidence and enjoy your success. You can describe this day in your diary and re-read the entry in moments of self-doubt.
8. Drink a sedative. To stop worrying, you can take a mild sedative.

If self-hypnosis does not help, you should not delay contacting specialists. Psychology, namely cognitive-behavioral therapy, helps to overcome social anxiety. Through the study of bad scenarios, the patient comes to the result - the ability to get to know each other and keep up the conversation.